Games of the VIII Olympiad – RP thread

by **Liventia** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:23 pm

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Useful links
OOC/signups thread
Roster and information thread
Results and schedule thread
General NS Olympics discussion thread
Games of the VII Olympiad (Emberton, Krytenia) RP thread

Orean is the capital city of Liventia and has been since the Liventia Act was passed in 2147. It is technically sited within the Great Folenisa Desert according to government legislation, although as it sits right on the outer boundary of it, daytime temperatures in summer rarely exceed 33°C. While the former capital city of City Centre retains commercial influence and still houses a small number of international embassies, a majority of government workers both domestic and foreign have moved to Orean.

There is a 144-station metropolitan railway system to help fans get around. Spectators will fly into Orean Airport, which handily sits at the eastern end of the Central Line. Alternatively, they can fly into any of Liventia's other major cities, from where they will be able to catch National Rail trains to Great Cross, Salisbury or City Hall.

Public transport on the Metro, National Rail and buses within Orean city limits will be free of charge to all ticketholders, athletes and officials during the Games, as proved popular by Liventia's two previous successful Winter Olympics bid teams. Ticketholders to sailing events, which will take place in Schimpol on the Lox Island, and to field hockey and handball events, which will take place in Folenisa's Indoor Sports Facility, will receive free National Rail travel between Orean and the event host cities. Football ticketholders will, however, have to make their own travel arrangements unless attending a match at Grovers Park in Orean.

Traffic in Orean will be congestion-controlled during the Games, with specially-designed 'Games Lanes' in operation at certain hours of the day to ensure speedy movement for officials and athletes.

About Liventia
Liventia has strict laws when it comes to behaviour; rioting used to carry the death penalty until a moratorium on capital punishment was brought into effect in 2138. There is a widespread ban on outdoor public smoking and outdoor public drinking, and the governing Greener Society have passed aditional legislation to ban all smoking outside of residential areas (homes and hotels). Public alcoholism will result in prosecution. The drugs trade is banned, and although casual use is not normally actively policed, Orean Constabulary intends to enforce the law during the Games. The legal age for smoking and drinking in the country used to be 15, although the Greener Society have since passed compromise legislation to increase it to 17 for drinking and 20 for smoking.

About these Games
Liventia aims to continue the recent trend and tradition of Winter Olympics hosts going on to host the next cycle's Summer Olympics, and believing no other city capable to do the job Orean have volunteered to host the multiverse's largest sporting event. The bid has backing from Olympic Council vice-chairman and Liventia Olympic Association chief technical delegate Eric Ashdown, and former Olympic Council vice-chairman Royston French, who has agreed to head the bid team.

Liventia's logistical capabilities were thoroughly tested by hosting the Seventh and Eighth Winter Olympics, and the country looks to become the first geographic area since Paripana to host two consecutive Games.

The Games logo, created by Polarian designers, feature an athlete, portrayed in the colours of the Olympic movement, jumping over a hurdle.

Zone 1—The Olympic Park
The Olympic Park will be based around Grovers Park, Orean's largest stadium and home to the LAPFL's Orean United. It lies near the eastern end of the Central Line and is easily accessible from the airport and from the rest of the country by National Rail. The Olympic Village and Media Centre will be based here, as will athletics, aquatics, basketball finals, BMX cycling, track cycling, gymnastics (all forms) and water polo. Grovers Park will be the main stadium hosting the opening and closing ceremonies as well as the football finals (and some preliminaries). The field hockey finals will also be held at Grovers Park where an artificial turf hockey pitch will be 'dropped in'. A temporary specialist athletics stadium will be built as Grovers Park does not have a running track.

Zone 2—On the road
The cycling road races will take in a course around Orean's southwest, roughly following the Metro's Suburban Line from City Hall to Cary (via West Askham) then on to Great Cross via Minstermere and following the City Line back north to City Hall for further laps. On the last lap — and on the time trials — the course will split at Minstermere and follow the Metro's Orbital Line to the finish line at Northgate. These events will be ticketless, though spectators will have to pay for transport.

The marathon and race walks will take place in east Orean and are also ticketless (except for the marathon finish), while the 10 km open water swim will take place at a temporary man-made lake in northwest Orean near Widmore.

The triathlon swim will also take place at Widmore, while the cycle will take athletes to Aston, from where they will run to the finish at City Hall. This event will also be free to spectators.

Zone 3—Rest of Orean
Badminton, boxing, fencing, judo, taekwondo, table tennis, volleyball, weightlifting and wrestling will all take place at a temporary multi-use indoor arena in Cannon Green. Handball finals will also be held at the site in Cannon Green.
Equestrian and modern pentathlon will take place at Polarian Gardens.
Beach volleyball will be held in Langdon in northeast Orean.
Somewhat controversially, the Park Central Oval cricket ground will be converted to host the archery.
Tennis will be held at the site of the old Orean Masters, in Lothian.
Canoe sprint and rowing will take place at the artificial lake in Widmore.

Zone 4—Outside Orean
Mountain bike cycling and canoe slalom will both be held in the town of Madford to the east of Orean. Spectators will be given free Natiional Rail travel between Orean and Madford.
All sailing events will be held off Schimpol along the coast of Lox Island. Free National Rail travel to and from Orean will be provided for ticketholders.
Field hockey and handball preliminaries will take place in Folenisa at the Indoor Sports Facility. Free National Rail travel to and from Orean will be provided for ticketholders.
Football preliminaries will be held across the country. Except for matches at Grovers Park, ticketholders will have to make their own travel arrangements.

Letter from Vice-Admiral Royston French, chairman, OCOGO
Dear Colleagues,
We have had the pleasure of welcoming you to Liventia twice in the past for Winter Olympic Games. Now it is with the utmost delight that I write to you today as chairman of the Organising Committee for the Olympic Games in Orean, as Liventia once more opens its doors to the world's best sportspeople.

This bid has been years in the making, and the last two successful Winter Games has left us convinced that we are capable and ready of taking on this added challenge and greater responsibility. We have worked tirelessly to build up to these Olympics and I believe everyone will appreciate the efforts of our Organising Committee as well as the hundreds of volunteers. I promise you will not be disappointed.

With best wishes, in the spirit of excellence, friendship and respect, welcome to Orean. Let the Games begin.

Vice-Admiral Royston French
Chairman, Organising Committee for the Olympic Games in Orean

by **Kelssek** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:44 pm

Protests over "gender discrimination" at Orean Olympics

A Kelssekian Olympic gold medallist who won't get the chance to defend her title in Orean is one of the leading voices of protest calling the upcoming 8th Summer Olympics "the sexist games", and pushing the Kelssek Olympic Committee (KOC) to take action.

Greco-Roman wrestler Callie Rainsford, who won gold in Emberton, says there's no justifiable reason that women's Greco-Roman wrestling has been dropped from the programme, especially when it has already become an established event at the Games.

"It was a huge shock that they would do something which is so obviously discrimination," said Rainsford. "But I'm even more surprised that the KOC is refusing to say anything about it. You'd expect them to stand up for equality."

Activists are also organizing a protest campaign targeting the KOC, the Liventian government, the Orean organizing committee and MPs in Neorvins with a devastating slew of online petitions. A page titled END OLYMPIC SEXISM NOW!! has already attracted over 6,000 "likes" on social media.

Also absent from the Orean programme are men's synchronised swimming and rhythmic gymnastics. Although the Olympic Charter, which governs the Olympics, specifies a list of events which every Olympic Games must hold, the decision by the Orean organizers to omit these events is well within the host committee's authority.

"While we would obviously have preferred to see these events contested in Orean, we respect that the organizers must sometimes make difficult decisions when faced with economic or other constraints," KOC media officer Teresa Holt said in an e-mail.

Meanwhile, an academic involved in gender equality movements considers this move to have disturbing wider implications.

"A great concern would be that this might reinforce myths about gender constructions in our society, and plays in favour of entrenched privilege," explained Kelly Jones-Szchynkowski, assistant professor of gender studies at the University of Etnier.

However, Jones-Szchynkowski also says that it's impossible to fault the Olympics entirely as failing to meet ideals of gender and sexual liberation.

"We shouldn't forget that the Olympic Village is one of the most sex-positive environments ever, if you know what I mean."

by **Some Village** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:01 pm

“Goddamned Obed, where can I find that red wire?”
“It’s somewhere underneath the table or at least, it should be there.”

Down on all fours, Aaron attempted to find the wire that should connect the radio set with the Orean electricity network. It was unclear when Obed had come up with the idea, but he had quickly found a few other enthusiasts among the athletes. After searching around for a few weeks, Obed had collected an old radio deck from a Neu Engolleen fan from the Some Village Wanderers. It clearly had served its years already, but it still worked well. Or at least, that’s what the guy who sold it said.

“I really cannot find anything down that table, Obed, go look for yourself, it’s your idea.”
“No,” Obed tried to avoid getting on his knees and searching around in the dust, “you’re the smallest of the five of us.”
“But...”
“Com’on,” Hephizah concurred, “what’s difficult about finding a red wire and plugging it into a something else?”
“All right, all right,” Aaron sighed as he continued his search.

Obed was getting more and more nervous now the big moment was coming close. He probably had the least ambition on a sportive level from all Villagean sportsmen, but he was more nervous than all of them upon getting this radio up and running. As usual, it wasn’t difficult to convince the younger inhabitants of the ark, but most of the older generation wasn’t thrilled about his idea. If it hadn’t been for Abram, responsible for progress in our microstate, who convinced king Zedekiah upon the possibilities of this connection, they probably wouldn’t receive the needed funds for the mad plan. Setting up a temporary radio station in the Olympic Village, which would allow for all of those who stayed at home to follow the Olympics live and direct, without having to rely on foreign stations, which would allow them to be informed upon the results and performances from all thirty Villagers.

The final decision was made when Carmel declared that it might be better to move the complete nation to Liventian waters during the Olympics. She had heavily protested against the idea to stay in the Olympic Village with all participants for the duration of the complete Olympics. For the younger ones, this would be an interesting experience, but as a mother of four, she couldn’t bear the idea to stay away from her children for a month. By moving to Liventia with the ark, they wouldn’t be too far away from their loved ones, but Erastos stubbornly insisted that all the athletes would stay in the Olympic Village. Due to the fact that the other inhabitants wouldn’t be too far away, it would be relatively easy to set up a radio connection that would broadcast when someone competed in an event. Erastos allowed it as well, thinking that this would keep away the pressure and would have a positive influence on their team spirit. So this is why Aaron was underneath some table, swearing away, while four of his friends were looking anxiously at the equipment in front of them.

“I think I found it now... Try to set a connection, Obed.”
“Hello, hello, this is SomeRadio, can you hear us?”

Obed had made an agreement with his husband, Jemima, that she would press the green button near the receiver when she could understand what he said. It would ignite a little red lamp and then they could really get SomeRadio in the air.

“No use, Obed, no light on the deck...”

All five looked to the transmitter without actually knowing what they were looking at. Being only confronted with modern technology for the last two years, it was very difficult to adapt to the way the world out there seemed to work, despite the many positive attempts.

“It has to work, it has to...”

The reason why many of the older Villagers hadn’t been keen about his idea was that it wasn’t the first one Obed came up with. Installing an electronic positioning system had made them drift at the ocean for two days, setting up a computer connection caused a small fire and no one wanted to be remembered to the moment he almost set up a bus station... on board. His technology quirks were frowned upon, he knew that, but this couldn’t fail. He was kind of tired of being the guy with twelve jobs and thirteen accidents. Ever since he was a kid, he had been the one who got in trouble. When they accidentally released four cows, causing them to drown, he had been noted as the culpable, despite the fact that he had been helped by Baltassar, Jason and Ananias. If you’re a kid, it can be seen as an enthusiast rascal, later on as a lad in his puberty... But when you’re a dad of two, it’s time to pick up your responsibility. He had always been handy but he just hadn’t been able to transmit that to the modern resources. So far.

“I... I think they sold you trash, Obed,” Kezia remarked, voicing the opinion of all of them.
“No, no,” he repeated, mainly trying to convince himself, “there just is a little switch somewhere I think.”
Aaron shook his head, “that’s what you’ve been saying for the past hour, now, sometimes you just have to accept you’ve been rigged.”

They waited for a few more minutes, but then it was Aser who broke the silence.

“I’m going out, I see the other delegations are coming in one by one and I’m quite interested to see who will be our neighbours in the complex.”

When Aser, who usually kept his opinion for himself, spoke up, he was spot on most of the time. Hephizah and Kezia joined him on his way, only Aaron remained.

“Let’s go over the manual one last time, Obed, ...”

Fifteen minutes later, it had become a little bit too much for Obed. Patience had never been his stronghold. He slammed the microphone on the deck.

“I’m going to throw this goddamn crap out the window, I’m sick of this junk.”

When he took the deck firmly in his strong hands, trying to plug it all out with one short pull, it was Aaron who could prevent a disaster.

“Look, look!”
“What do you mean?”
“The light! It’s on! You say something through the microphone, I’ll go and get Erastos for the first interview.”
“But... that means...”
“Yeah, the first words on the air were probably ‘this goddamn crap’ but that doesn’t matter now, get on with it.”
“Allright, ehm...”

Obed picked up the microphone and cleared his throat, getting more and more nervous with every tick from the clock that was hanging on the wall.

“Hello, fellow Villagers! After a small range of technical problems,” he could imagine the older citizens sighing “we are here, live and direct from the Olympic Village in Orean, Liventia. The capital of this marvellous nation has gathered thousand and thousand athletes to compete in the greatest sports event from the multiverse, the Olympics. In preparation of the stream of match reports and interviews that will follow this emission,” this was going rather well “we will have an interview with Erastos, our beloved director of the Some Village Sports Federation and the man that made the selection for our Olympic team.”

Erastos entered the room, which was actually the bedroom from Obed and Aser, with a surprised smile on his face. He never thought they would actually be able to make contact with the ark.

“And there he is, ladies and gentlemen, the man who allowed us to compete at this magnificent tournament, this celebration of human strength and willpower, Erastos!”Maybe that was a little too enthusiast
“Thank you, Obed and hello Villagers.”

Erastos lifted an eyebrow, hardly believing that if he spoke in that strange black stick with the fluffy sphere on top of it, that they would clearly hear what he had to say several kilometres away from here.

“First of all, Erastos, let us talk about the venue. What are your impressions so far?”
“It looks great.”

Obed nodded to encourage him to continue. The successful launch of the station had been a bit of a surprise for him as well and he would soon run out of questions.

“It looks great, Obed, because... Well, I’ve visited the other parts of Grovers Park last evening, when we arrived and it is magnificent. The Park is located on the outskirts of the city and contains the venues for a lot of sports. I’ve already gotten a sneak peak of the pool in which our athletes are going to compete for the medals and it is marvellous. It’s great, solid but not overtly high-profile.”
“How do you mean, it’s rather austere?”
“I wouldn’t use that word, I would rather describe it as...”

Erastos stopped for a second to find the right phrasing. Obed imagined how back at home, all would be flexing a bit closer to the receiver.

“...as subtle. No mishmash of colours and styles, it leaves a complete and well-mounted impression. The place is very clean as well, I haven’t seen any dirt in the streets so far.”
“And the Olympic Village, can you tell our listeners something about that?”
“Well, it is always difficult to house thousand, maybe tens of thousands of people at once but I think they did a fine job. The apartments are clean and have everything at hand. I’ve heard some people from another nation complain that it lacked a bit of luxury, but that is not what the Olympics are about, I think. Everything a serious sportsman can need is here and the rooms are bright and spacious enough.”
“Well, Erastos, I can only agree on that. At this very moment, the different delegations are coming in, one by one and some of them are... well, very different.”
“Most certainly, most certainly. I’ve spotted some sort of foxes already and ponies as well.”
“Ponies?”
“Yeah, I’m not inventing it. Intelligent ponies, I must say.”
“Oh... In that case.”

Obed thought the group of monks who walked around with long black... dresses were already quite remarkable. However, as some of the older Villagers still enjoyed the comfort of their loincloth during their leisure, they were probably stared at already themselves.

“Talking about ponies... Well. On a completely different topic than ponies, how about the selection from Some Village. Do we actually stand any change at all against these powerhouses, or should I say powerstables?”

He grinned, but the look from Erastos told him to stop with that kind of tomfoolery.

“Well, Obed, no need to tell you lies, we won’t be dragging home loads of medals, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we cannot leave a good impression on the tournament.”
“A good impression... That’s a bit cryptic I’m afraid. What do you exactly see as a good impression?”
“First of all, this means that our athletes can show they are able to bring the best out of themselves at such a special occasion, that they manage to honour our nation on the field.”
“I see. But what is the ambition from the selection?”
“Well, let’s just start with saying that we have two major handicaps compared to all, or almost all, the other nations.”
“And those are?”
“We’re with few. You can’t take 29 medals if you participate in 27 events, can you? Secondly, a lot of sports are off-limits for us. Frankly honest, there are a few sports amongst I haven’t even heard of before. No clue what taekwondo would be... Or badminton... Or modern pentathlon. And we’re not exactly the kind of people that could compete in shooting or BMX or all those things you need strange and special equipment for.”
“But that still leaves opportunities in the, ... may I say nobler sports?”
“You can. I think we want to show at first that we have capacities in the water, we’ve got a strong swimming squad, a sailor and a fine rowing team. Furthermore, we’re represented in boxing, fencing, gymnastics, weightlifting and athletics, so you can say we’re a quite diverse group, for representing such a small nation and that is certainly already an accomplishment.”
“It certainly is, Erastos. But let us talk business now, when can you come home as a proud director?”
“I hope to see our flag raised above Grovers Park at least once. And if we could get home with two medals, that would be a unique performance. But in some sports, the bar is just incredibly high.”
“How so?”
“Well... Let’s take a look at swimming by example. A spot in the final would be an extraordinary job already, considering the size of the field and the level of our opponents.”
“And who should bring home that final?”

Erastos gave an angry look to Obed. Before he confirmed to this interview, he had mentioned that he didn’t want to get into detail too much, but his long jumper put him in a difficult position.

“I think we’ve got three chances for a second round in the swimming pool. There’s Ittai in the 1500 meter... Too bad there is no semi-final there, cause the final seems a little bit too far away for him. Agar could be the surprise for all of us, she’s very young and there shouldn’t be any pressure on her, I think but let’s just say that she comes close to the international best. And our women medley crew are surely semi-final material, if you ask me.”
“That already sounds good. Any other sports in which we have ambition? We’ve got a few lone wolfs in some sports, can they make a difference?”
“For most of them, this will be about having a beautiful experience. Thaddeus and Esther will surely blast through their first round, but in a boxing or fencing knock-out tournament, all depends upon your opponents. For Talitha, it will be a grand moment, she should just enjoy it as there is a gargantuan field and so little spots in the finals.”
“And you’re not looking to the athletic squad, I’ve heard?”
“Where did you?... I mean, ehm, ... We’ve got fine athletes, but some nations have done everything to be top level there, we cannot expect our people to move past them, considering our training circumstances... There might be Kezia who can knock on the door of the top ten. Unless you grab a medal, Obed?”

It was the first time during the interview that Erastos unleashed his massive smile.

“Yeah... No. So, it’s going to be in rowing, then?”
“Difficult to say so, Obed, difficult to say. I personally think we can get a few spots in the final there and who knows what is going to happen then?”
“Who are you looking at in particular?”
“There is Aser and Simeon, they’re close to the top level, and maybe we can see our female quadruple sculls do well.”
“You’re not hoping for anything in the eights?”
“No, not really, it seems as this is the queen’s event for all nations and we’re just not strong enough to challenge the others there.”
“Let’s see what we got left then... Is Rahab going to be our medal lady?”
“It’s a difficult event, sailing. The wind can do strange things and the difference between the good sailors will be small, I think. She should try to stay close to the best ones and take every opportunity possible, and that might come near a virtual ‘final’, a top eight.”
“Erastos?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve been counting along... I see, let’s say, four finals as a maximum possibility but no medals. Am I correct?”
“Well, we haven’t discussed the man who can make the difference yet.”
“And that is?”
“If we have anyone who is capable to bring back some silverwork, it will be Kleopus. Our fisherman has the necessary strength to bring it home against anyone in weightlifting, but he’s still working hard on his technique.”
“So you hear it folks, I’ll give you a quick summary of the situation. We’re participating in 27 events and if we can believe Erastos, we should try and aim for five spots in the top-eight and one medal. But who says it cannot be more?”
“Let me go on to...”

Obed never got to the end of that question. For a few seconds already, Aaron was indicating that he should cut the conversation.

“We’re having a short break here, people.”

As he lay down his microphone, Obed started to wave his arms in the air.

“What are you doing, Aaron, we’re live on air and you’re stopping the show just when we’re...”
“We’re not.”
“We’re not what?”
“Look at the light, Obed.”
“What... Stop talking nonsense, Aaron, for god’s sake.”
“He says,” Erastos interfered, “that your light is out.”
Aaron concurred. “And already for a while, to be fair. I just realised that as long as Jemima heard us, she would make sure the light was on...”
“How...” Obed was perplex. “How long is it off?”
“I’m not sure... They certainly have heard your questions about the venue!”
“But... But...”

A ten-minute interview, all for nothing. And that wasn’t the only problem Obed was about to encounter.

“This is the last time,” Erastos explained calmly, “that I’m doing this. I told you to make it short, sympathetic, without detailed questions upon the chances of X and the possibilities of Y. Everyone is nervous enough as it is and I don’t need you to pump up their dreams a bit more.”
“But... It’s you who makes the claims,” Obed tried. “Isn’t it my journalistic duty?”

That was a bit too much for Erastos.

“Your duty? Your duty?! Your only duty in this place is to make sure you don’t end up in last position in the long jump or I personally drown you in the steeple chase water pool. Am I making myself clear?”

While Erastos stomped off, Aaron lifted his shoulders.

“He’s as nervous as those who have to compete. If this selection fails and Some Village turns out to be some sort of laughing stock amongst the giants, he might not remain his current job.”
“No way... He did so much for these Olympics, researched everything...”
“I know, Obed, I know.”
“Aren’t you nervous, in fact?”
“I wouldn’t know why. We’re like... the last two or something to compete. We’ve got all the time in the world,” Aaron smiled. "Let's see how we can get this thing to work again so we can get the news out."

All of a sudden, Yiskah stormed into the room. For a rower, she was rather small but she wouldn't let anyone push her away.

"Well done, guys, how did you do that?"
"Did what?" both asked sheepishly.
"I was trying to get some rest, you know, a little siesta in the middle of the day and when I turned on the radio and walked through some channels, I could suddenly hear you and Erastos discussing our team."

Aaron looked to Obed with a broad smile.

"You know what that means, right..."
"A lot of possibilities, that's for sure."

by **United Gordonopia** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:05 pm

A Letter from the Editor

A few weeks ago, our publisher called me in to tell me that we would be covering the Olympics. When he asked me what I thought about that, I was clearly ecstatic. Though this will be Gordonopia's first go at the world's greatest sports festival, our team, and in our runners in particular, are sure to give a great show. I asked the sort of staffing we would get, making it clear that given the magnitude of the event and the high profile of our athletes I wanted at least one reporter for each distance runner, as well as reporters covering each individual sprint, hurdle, and field event. He must have savored the look on my face when he asked me: "What about the other sports?"

That's right, Bob Oliver was not asking Gordonopian Runner to cover running, he was asking us to cover the entire Olympiad, or at least the Gordonopian delegation. Apparently there may never be a better opportunity to draw a flock of new subscribers into our magazine, and somehow the largest independent media publisher in Gordonopia does not own another sports title. For the duration of the games, we are to offer discounts on the cover price, as well as a short-term Olympic subscription that includes a discounted rate to extend it past the Games. At the same time, the nation's number one running publication will be covering a dozen and a half other sports.

If he had not agreed to my aforementioned coverage for running, I might not be writing this. "I suppose you do have an audience to cater to," Bob quickly realized. Looks like we will not have to change the name on the cover, at least.

I suppose I may as well introduce our expanded format, which will run for the duration of the Games. Starting with preview issues in the days before the Opening Ceremony, we will be adding a special 'O' section in the middle of the magazine, between our columns and before our features. The eight 'O' pages will include everything from daily results for every event to a shiny medal table to special articles on a variety of Olympic sports from some of our most talented staffers.

For those of you reading this magazine that care about running, which I would assume would be our entire readership, you will be pleased to know that we will be adding an additional feature article so that we can do at least one feature on every mid- and long-distance runner on top of features for a number of other track and field athletes. Additional features will range from articles on both the Olympic facilities and the Gordonopian training center, to a 'travel guide' for Orean, to profiles of several foreign stars, among others.

Our equipment review section will be modified to look at the equipment used by Olympic athletes from Gordonopia and around the world. It is a great opportunity to get some hands on experience with the fastest shoes and gear known to man; one we could hardly pass up.

Last but certainly not least, our 'Lookback' section on the last page will shift from our own stories to great moments in Olympic running history. Our nation has missed the first seven editions, so we may as well take the opportunity to catch up.

So there you have it. The entire GR writing staff will be in Orean for the duration of the games, along with a truckload of freelancers to ~~torture~~ help with coverage. We will be giving you the best damn stories on running we can, and hopefully not screw up the rest. Do not be surprised, though, if a few articles on Basketball include cliches like 'the final kick' instead of 'the last seconds', or you see accidental references to shin splints in, say, swimming. Like our wonderful publisher said himself, we do have an audience to cater to.

James Olson is the Editor-in-Chief for Gordonopian Runner, United Gordonopia's premier daily running magazine. His career as a runner began when he was in elementary school, and took him to Winslow Presbyterian where he majored in English and placed 4th for the 5000 at the Class A CAF Championships with a time of 13:30:03. After a short professional career, he joined the Gordonopian Runner staff where he has been for the past 16 years. He still enjoys daily runs, and trains for several marathons every year.

by **Storin** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 3:31 pm

“Keep it moving, Sab,” called the coach. Above him, Sabrina Brandl performed her uneven bars routine with an almost mechanical precision, hitting her marks carefully. She was one of Storin's few foreign-based athletes, even if 'foreign' meant competing for the Bristol Sport Club in the south of Asteran. She had left Storin a year ago yet still felt bound to her home, even if the Asteran Olympic Committee had been courting her.

“You're still good,” said her coach. “Hit the landing now.” Sabrina finished her routine and dismounted, stumbling on her landing.

“Need to stick that, Sab. Take a few and we'll do it again, K?” The gym was buzzing with activity, as other gymnasts of all ages worked around her. She sat on the edge of the mat, going over the landing in her head. A pair of younger gymnasts walked past her, going over their floor routines before practice. She looked over, watching the men work on the rings. Her coach walked back over to her, looking over some notes.

“You looked good on most of it. There's still some slight errors in a couple of your spins, especially...” She had tuned his speech out, knowing exactly where she had messed up. Sabrina had been doing this for thirteen years which, she felt, made her better at finding faults than her coach.

“...and the dismount. Ready for another go?”
“Yes, sir.” She chalked her hands, then waited for the signal from the timekeeper. On her mark, she started her routine again, hitting all of her marks with expert timing and accuracy. Her dismount was flawless this time around, and she felt the briefest surge of joy at her successful routine.

“Well done, Sab! Hit it like that every time, and you'll be raking in the medals.” Her coach looked across the gym and saw an assistant sprinting up to him.

“Phone call for Sabrina,” she said, hurriedly. Sabrina followed the assistant through the gym, picking her way through the crowds around some of the training apparatuses. She took the receiver of the telephone from the desk assistant.

“Brandl.”
“Sabrina Brandl, this is Baron Wilhelm List, Her Majesty's Master of Sport. I am pleased to inform you, Ms. Brandl, that Her Majesty's Sporting Council has selected you to represent Storin in the upcoming Summer Olympics.”

“Thank you, Lord Baron.” The baron's words had failed to shake the ever stoic Sabrina, and she listened to his instructions intently.

“A member of the Council will arrive in Bristol with your travel documents. You will leave for Liventia tonight from Hoth Airport.” The receiver clicked dead, as Sabrina handed the handset back to the desk assistant. She headed back into the gym, a slight smile creeping across her face at her new fortune.

by **The Licentian Isles** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 3:53 pm

Cyan-and-Gold Observer

The Licentian Isles at the Olympics - A Preview

It's an event that sports fans in the Isles have been waiting for for quite some time now. Despite there having been two different Olympics since the Cyan-and-Gold emerged onto the sporting scene, the 8th Summer Olympiad in Orean, Liventia will be the first chance for many world-class Licentian athletes to make themselves known on the international scene. Despite the fact that this is our first Olympics, the fact that we are quite good at some less well-known sports means that we have a good chance of bringing home at least a couple of medals.

Men's and Women's National Water Polo Teams
Event - Men's and Women's Water Polo (Aquatics)

Despite water polo being a small sport in the Licentian Isles, most young people play the sport for a time in their childhood, and talented players are always encouraged to take it up professionally. Players like Marcus and Ruari, the Murphy brothers, in the men's game, and Amanda Allen and Elsa Thomson in the women's squad, have all come through a fantastic youth water polo program, that means that these two squads are possibly our best chance of gold in Orean.

Isobelle Millar
Event - Women's 800m (Athletics)

Amongst a small group of quality Licentian middle distance runners, Isobelle Millar is the best. Born in Montfort, she got into running during her school days, and practised by running around the capital like thousands do every day. She became parish champion in the eight hundred metres at the age of fifteen, and despite being a tender nineteen years old, she has a good chance of challenging the veterans at these Olympics.

Ciaran Muir
Event - Men's K1 1000m, Men's K2 1000m (with Brian Cameron), Men's K4 1000m (with Brian Cameron, Garry Andersen and Jack Donaldson) (Canoeing)

Ciaran Muir is possibly the most talented kayakist (if that's a word) to represent the Licentian Isles in a long time. Granted, no kayakists have ever represented the Isles before, but that's besides the point. He has a chance at three medals, both solo, in doubles and in fours, but his best chance is in the K1, where he is an early favourite with Licentian bookmakers to take gold.

Alicia Williamson
Event - Women's Mountain Biking (Cycling)

Unlike most of her counterparts in a fairly talented mountain biking team, who are based in St Bart's Parish, Alicia Williamson hails from the small village of Pine, in Abingdon Parish. Having grown up riding the tough hills around the Rivermouth area, Williamson has well surpassed the talents of most of her counterparts, and is the best chance of a Licentian medal in the cycling, a sport which isn't taken too serioudly on the Isles.

Men's National Football Team
Event - Men's Football (Football)

Despite the rules that mean only three players over twenty three can be called up for the Olympics in football, the Licentian Isles have to be considered a force to be reckoned with in the men's football tournament. Even though there are quite a few bigger names in the hat for these games, the three overage players for the Cyan-and-Gold give the side a big pull. Nate Parkinson, the holding midfielder who has been a part of the full side for his whole career. Logan Moran, who has come back for one last tournament internationally. And Alex Gardiner-Stewart. That name should give a lot of nations pause for thought when they play the Isles.

Heidi Allen
Event - Women's Modern Pentathlon (Modern Pentathlon)

Despite many of its constituent parts being minority sports on the Licentian Isles, pentathletes are seen as superheros of their sport. Heidi Allen, a Colesham native, got into the pentathlon as she loved horse riding, and was a part of the Army Cadets. Her passions combined, and twenty years on, at the age of thirty three, she is a well respected athlete, and has a great shot at taking a medal home from Liventia.

Aedan Moore, Kadyn Johnston, Jamie Nikodem and Robert McIntosh
Event - Men's Quadruple Sculls (Rowing)

With rowing a sport mainly contested by students on the Isles, it is unsurprising that our best rowers are studying alongside their sport. With one man on the team representing each parish (Moore is from Abingdon, Johnston is from Montfort, Nikodem is from St Bart's, McIntosh is from Colesham), this really is a national team, and it will be easy for everybody on the Isles to get behind these four when they head out onto the lake in a few day's time.

Russell Calvin
Event - Men's One Person Dinghy (Sailing)

Russell Calvin is the respected veteran of this Olympic squad. Before the return of Alex Gardiner-Stewart from the dead, it was almost certain that this man, a fixture of the Garton Bay Regatta for over two decades, would be carrying the flag for the Cyan-and-Gold. With a typical show of class, Calvin left the flag to the footballer, but he is still the head of an unbelievably strong Licentia sailing delegation, with numerous gold medal hopes following the thirty nine year old's lead.

Gordon Jensen
Event - Men's Sailboard (Sailing)

The Cyborg Dutch-descended Gordon Jensen is the exact opposite of the quiet, dignified Russell Calvin. The twenty one year old Hessington Islander is bold, brash, bad-mouthed, and has already caused waves in the Garton Bay Regatta, drawing criticism from many people around the world of sailing. Nonetheless, on the water, Jensen has talents to defeat all comers, so his selection for the Olympics was a certainty as much as Russell Calvin's.

Mairi Moore
Event - Women's Triathlon (Triathlon)

Mairi Moore is well-respected in the Licentian Isles, not only for her ability, but for her fantastic charity work. Her brother died of cancer at a young age, so every year, she gives the majority of her income from races and events to fund cancer research, along with running open triathlon competitions around the Isles to raise money. It's easy amongst all the good work she does to overlook her talent for competing; she has a fantastic chance of medalling here in Orean.

Along with these guys, there are many other medal hopes that I just don't have time to write about. Remember, you'll be able to watch and listen to the whole Licentian delegation competing in Orean on LBC television and radio channels, along with recaps and previews on the Cyan-and-Gold Observer website twice daily. Enjoy these Olympics guys; I know I will !!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:30 pm

Here is a preview of everyone on our roster:

Citizen 8248SH89 will be competing in the Men's 100 meter freestyle. He is 23 years old and does not have a regular job, so he does not have a title in his name and is simply referred to as "Citizen". However, after the Olympics he will be taking over as a Waiter at a restaurant in Section 19, and will be named Waiter 8248SH89. Until then, the "Citizen" is in his name. Citizen 8248SH89 is the best male swimmer in Gregoryisgodistan, but is still not very good. His personal record, also a national record, is 53.03 seconds, set at the Olympic trials. He has an intense rivalry with Swim Fetch Slave of State HSHAJKA, who finished second in the 100 m free at the trials, with a time of 53.09 seconds. However, Swim Fetch Slave of State HSHAJKA did qualify for the 200 m freestyle.

Swim Fetch Slave of State HSHAJKA will be competing in the Men's 200 meter freestyle. He is 21 years old. Due to his swimming skills, the Coast Guard selected him as a swim fetch slave in the 2012 National Slave Draft. His job is to retrieve people and objects stranded in water. However, the Coast Guard does give him time off to represent Gregoryisgodistan in national and international swim competitions. He did not qualify for the 100 m freestyle since Citizen 8248SH89 beat him out, and Gregoryisgodistan only wanted to send one athlete for that event. However, Swim Fetch Slave of State HSHAJKA will be competing in his best event, where his personal best is 1:48.51, set at the Olympic trials in the final. This is 0.09 seconds slower than the national record of 1:48.42, set by Lifeguard 819DHH771 in the semifinals of the Olympic trials. However, Lifeguard 819DHH771 was disqualified for a false start in the final of the trials and did not qualify for the Olympics.

Personal Favors Slave of State JJJKA will be competing in the Women's 200 meter butterfly. When she is not swimming, she is forced to perform "personal favors" for an anonymous high-ranking government official who selected her in the 2012 Slave Draft. The official does give her time off to represent Gregoryisgodistan in swimming competitions, and she does this well. She set a national record of 2:29.17 in the finals of the Olympic trials, qualifying her by more than 3 seconds over the second place finisher.

Lord Almighty's 58th Concubine will be competing in the women's 200 meter freestlye and the 4x200 m freestyle relay. She is one of Lord Almighty Gregory's four favorite concubines, all of which will be competing in the relay. Not much is known about her swimming skill, as she was selected for her concubine status. The same is true about Lord Almighty's 95th Concubine who will also compete in the relay plus the individual event, as well as Lord Almighty's 196th Concubine and Lord Almighty's 994th Concubine who will not compete individually but will compete on the relay team.

More info on the rest of the athletes will be forthcoming tomorrow - this is the first in a multi-part series.

by **Benjamin Mark** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:43 pm

Zhang - Hello, I'm Jessica Zhang.

Kelly - Hello, I'm Josh Kelly, we're so excited to announce that the 8th Summer Olympiad is now here, taking place in Orean, Liventia. Justine Cook is in Orean with the latest, Justine?

Cook - Good Afternoon, Josh, yes, I'm here with Annabel Gurieto-Nunez, Rosalyn DeCosta, Chelsea Tang-Hudson, and Sabrina Wade. They are all here waiting to get interviewed, First we speak to Ms. Gurieto-Nunez, Annabel, how are you holding up?

Gurieto-Nunez - Oh my god, my palms is sweating, my heart is beating fast, I'm just so nervous about this. I'm representing my country I love this most, my heart is pounding, can you feel my heart beating, Justine?

Cook - You sure seem nervous Annabel, aren't you?

Gurieto-Nunez - Yes, I'm really nervous, this is my first Olympics and I'm really really nervous and how I'm going to fare in this.

Cook - Annabel, thank you for being with us today. Rosalyn, wow, second time in the Olympics, how are you faring?

DeCosta - Justine, I'm really not as nervous as Annabel, I know what to expect, I have been practicing harder, I want to earn as many medals I can this time around. The last Olympics at Emberton was a disappointment to me. (Rosalyn breaks down in tears) I know I didn't try hard enough in the last Olympics and I want to make sure that will not happen again this time around.

Cook - Rosalyn, compared to the last Olympics, how much harder did you practice?

DeCosta - Justine, I'm a different athlete than I was a year ago. I'm in it to win it. I'm motivated to win and that's why I'm in the Olympics and not at home watching it on T.V.

Cook - Rosalyn, thank you for being with us today. Chelsea, great to have you with us today, how are you faring.

Tang-Hudson - I'm doing fine, just hoping that I win a medal this Olympics, although I'm not here to win a medal, I'm here because I want to represent my country and show them that we have a good sports program.

Cook - Chelsea, nice words of wisdom, are you nervous at all with this being your first Olympics.

Tang-Hudson - I'm a little nervous, there's is a lot of pressure on me to represent the country in the best light possible. I just hope that I do well and hope that I won't be a complete failure at the Olympics.

Cook - Chelsea, thank you for being with us today. Sabrina, great to have you with today, how are you faring.

Wade - Well, well, I'm the best, but I know I need to practice, so can you make this quick.

Cook - Sabrina, I can make this quick, as in go practice, we need to win a medal. Off you go, Sabrina, and best of luck to all of you athletes.

Gurieto-Nunez, Tang-Hudson, DeCosta, Wade - (In unison) Thank you for having us here today.

Cook - You're welcome, and reporting live from Orean, Justine Cook, BMNS News.

by **Asteran** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:55 pm

“That's all from us here at the ABC. We'll be back at ten with the late news and your local news at 10:25. I'm Marian Sanders. Up next, the Olympic Preview Show with Alan Eagle.”

“The Great Folensia Desert is just a hop from here, but we're staying cool here in the International Broadcasting Center. Good evening, friends, and welcome to the Olympic Preview Show here on ABC One. It's back to Liventia for the AOC, as the host of the two previous Winter Games gets their shot at hosting the Summer Olympics. This time, we travel to Orean, the capital city of Liventia. Asteran is sending one of its largest delegations ever: 305 athletes, competing across a number of events. It's a great team, but not without its troubles. Hanna Bell has more.”

“The AOC is sending over 300 athletes to the Summer Olympics, providing one of the largest delegations in Asteran's Olympic history. However, a number of governing bodies are growing tired of the Asteran Olympic Committee's control over them.”

“Gary Traylor, the head of Asteran Badminton:
'We have never had a team at the Olympics. It's hard to tell a young player that they won't get a chance at Olympic gold because of the AOC's rules.'

“The rules he refers to come from AOC Regulation 1-4, Requirements for Olympic Competition. The document describes the requirements a sport must meet before it can be considered for inclusion in the Asteran Olympic team. This, according to many governing body heads, seriously hurts more niche sports.”

“Nina Mornacale, head of Asteran Handball:
'The rules are heavily weighed against sports without a large following, which ensures that they stay that way. Handball, for example, is popular in the west, but the rules have made it hard to expand, which prevents us from entering the Olympics.'

“Recently, larger bodies have protested against what they call the 'AOC's arcane and unfair rules'. Asteran Basketball refused to enter a team in the Olympics this year, in protest of their competition rules for the selected players. The AFA only entered a women's team, citing the AOC's interference in the Stan McAllen affair. And Asteran Athletics sent its smallest team to the Olympics, claiming a lack of promised funding from the AOC.

“The issues have not gone unnoticed. In a statement issued by Minister for Sport William Ford, he promises 'an investigation into the claims of the AOC's constituent members' and that 'we want all sports to have an equal chance at Olympic gold, regardless of their popularity or number of adherents.'

“Dame Ellen LaCroix, the head of the AOC, countered the claims made by the governing bodies. 'We have worked to give all of Asteran's athletes a chance at the Olympics, regardless of the sport they practice. Our rules do not deny any athlete from competing because of their sport, and we have been in discussion with these organizations to help us understand their concerns and find a solution.'

“The controversy is far from over, of course. But for the 300 athletes here for Asteran, the fight could have consequences for their Olympic futures. Hanna Bell, ABC Sport, Orean.”

“And the AOC's board has responded to the story, saying that they are looking into the situation, but will not comment until the conclusion of the Games. Turning now to our preview of Orean and our venues...”

by **The Serbian Empire** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 6:03 pm

The Serbian Empire's delegation was made of 34 entries including the similarly named Goran Sertic and Goran Sertich. The two cyclists are not the same athlete and their disciplines of cycling are quite different. One of them is little more than field filler for the road racing and mountain biking races while the other is a velodrome specialist who has been considered as the premier omnium rider in cycling. Confusing the two would be a significant mistake given the talent disparity.

Amongst the other entries include several riders for Onyx Marenisko who had to be replaced with substitutes on the Some Island Tour. Those competitors include Tomasz Radnicki, Mirela Blagojevic, Bledar Ahmedsovic, and Darko Maravic. In fact, Mirela's absence in particular led to her protege Mia Garkovich being able to produce an impressive run of 24th overall which included a 4th place result in Stage 7 on the road from Ravittale to Natione. Some are considering Mia Garkovich as a viable competitor for the next Olympiad for next year, but her rise came too late for the Olympic Committee this time around.

The two riders from the WToC series for Onyx Marenisko who didn't take a hiatus for Olympiad training as they weren't nationals of the Serbian Empire managed 13th and 14th in the Second Island Tour which would be Clint Barnes and Kalle Markstrom. The contracts of Barnes and Markstrom prevent them from competing in the Olympics so they competed in the Second Island Tour instead. Maravic could have produced similar perfomance to them however, but after seeing the two dirt stages on the tour permitted Enver Goranovic to take the fifth rider status as Maravic considered his chances of winning as small.

Today's Profiled Athlete: Marisa Darkovic

As the team is heavy on the Onyx Marenisko cyclists; we have decided to take a look at one of the independent cyclists to make the team. Marisa happens to be one of the best of the independent cyclists and only competes on the velodrome track. She is also the component of the 4M quartet of young female cyclists who are all younger than 23 from the Serbian Empire with the other three being Marina Brankovic, Mirela Blagojevic, and Mia Garkovich. Marisa is the eldest of the 4M quartet at 22 with Marina being several months younger. In reality, one could split them into two duos with Brankovic and Darkovic being the velodrome specialists and the other duo being made of dirt and cobble specialists in Blagojevic and Garcovich. It should be noted that out of the 4M quartet; three of them are competing in the Olympiad.

by **Renzynistan** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 6:30 pm

RENZYNISTAN PREPS UP FOR 3RD OLYMPIC BOUT
by Johannes Zemirov

It’s the time of the year again, The Olympic Games and we will expect our athletes to march in the VIII Summer Olympics to be held at Orean, Liventia, the country’s capital.

Dominic Parapeu, the Chairman of the Renzynistan Olympic Committee, will head this year’s delegation to Liventia. “We strive to send more athletes than we sent the last four years.” He said. “We also expect them to win more medals than the last Olympics” he added. It can be remembered that the country has won 5 medals in Emberton, Krytenia. “This year we are sending 319 athletes in to compete in the Olympics. It’s really an overwhelming number. And we expect to double or triple or even quadruple or medal win this year.” he added boldly.

All around the country, the people are excited. “I can’t wait to watch our athletes enter and march in the opening ceremonies. It just gives me goose bumps!” comments Maria Anikova, wife of former Governor of Salevik, Romeo Anikova. “ I remembered the first time we [my husband] watched the opening in Emberton. When our country was called we jumped off at our seats shouting and waving our flag. We were so happy especially when we won those medals. This year, we will fly to Orean to watch the opening ceremonies together with our friends” Anikova, now retired lives in an island in southern Renzynistan has been an avid Olympic fan ever since.
An estimated 7,000 fans from Renzynistan will fly to Orean to watch the Games during the course of two weeks. Royal Renzynistan Airlines, the nation’s flag carrier, has announced daily flights to Orean to begin a week before the Games.

by **Barunia** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 9:53 am

As the intro plays, words float across the screen. "192 Athletes" "180 events" "One Dream". The Olympic star spins onto the screen, and below it appears the name of the show. "One Dream: Games of the VIII Olympiad."

The set is simple. A curving desk in front of a giant screen. Behind the desk are two presenters, a man and a woman. The woman looks at the camera and smiles.

"Hello and welcome to the One Dream. Over the next two weeks we will present to you the Games of the 8th Summer Olympics, live from Orean, Liventia. I'm Catherine Sehles, and with me is Alex McGee. Welcome John."

"Thanks Catherine. I'm really excited about this. It's Barunia's first games, and we have almost 200 athletes competing in 180 events, so it's a big programme and plenty of excitement to be had over the next two weeks."

"Not least of course the opening ceremony, which will be in a few hours time, where as you say Barunia will march for the first time. I will be a special moment for all the athletes, but one in particular, who will carry the flag. Now I understand it was only announced this morning but you where there Alex"

"That's right Catherine, and after much deliberation, the flag was given to Tiffany Grouch, the goalkeeper for the Women's Hockey team. Our mixed Hockey team is currently ranked number 3 in the world, so it's fitting that one of the players should have the honour of leading Barunia out into their first Olympic Games."

"Tiffany also really embodies the ideals of the Olympic movement. She's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and she's always so encouraging. She'll be a good role model for the national team. We'll be talking to her a little later on in the evening, but right now let's take a look at the rest of the national squad. Who's the big medal hopes Alex?"

"Well Catherine, as you would expect the Sailing events is where we expect our best chances to come from. Keep an eye out for Tate Breckenbridge in th Men's events; he's teaming up with WIll Kimberley in the Keelboat and Isodore Botwright in the Skiff. The pick of the women is Sara Belmonte, although keep an eye out also for the Keelboat pairing of Lettie Monhan and Victoria Langley.
Elsewhere on the water we have rowing, and Kaye Finley-Hawk is the national champion. She'll compete in the individual skulls and also team up with long-time partner Katie Smedley. Canoeing is also a big sport in Barunia, and we're sending 12 athletes. The K4 events is where we expect our best chances to come from on the flat water, and in the slalom Barunia has a real chance in Allycia Wallis in the K1."

"The BSF has also been focusing on some lesser known sports in Barunia, and our athletics team is really looking strong, particularly the women. Combat sports are also becoming popular, and Barunia will be competing in Judo, Taekwondo and Fencing, as well as Archery and Shooting. The only sport where we'll be sending a single athlete is in Badminton."

"We have a big swim team too, as you might expect. Our best chance for a medal is likely Maria Reyes Cruz in the 800m freestyle, and we've also got Mikelo Bolivar in the Men's 10,000 metres. A lot of the athletes in the shorter distances have multiple events, so a very full programme for them. It's a similar story in cycling, we have 4 men, 4 women, and 14 entries. It's not a well-supported sport in Barunia, and neither is weightlifting or gymnastics, but both of them will be contested at these games. It's good to see some of these smaller sports get some attention, and you never know, they might manage a medal."

"Barunia will also be competing in team sports here. Hockey as we've mentioned, the Barunian team is ranked third in the world, although they've had to break that up into genders to compete here at the games. The Football team is here, fresh from their excellent finish in the Cup of Harmony. We're also sending a Men and Women's Water Polo team and the Stars will compete in Basketball."

"We're going to take a break now. When we come back, we'll be getting to know some of these athletes a little better in the lead up to the games."

"We'll see you then. Goodbye."

The Screen fades to the Title screen as the outro music plays.

by **Kelssek** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 10:08 am

Gov't backs away from Olympic boycott call
27 JULY 2013 - NEORVINS

The federal government is backpedalling after a Cabinet minister called for a boycott of the Orean Olympics over the controversial move not to hold events for both genders in all sports.

Minister of State for Sport Geoff Balgrave suggested earlier today while speaking to KBC Radio One's National Briefing that he thought the Kelssek Olympic Committee, an independent non-profit organization which receives a substantial grant from the federal government, should boycott the Orean Olympics unless organizers reinstated full gender equality in the schedule.

"I think that's something [the KOC] have to look at. If Kelssek were to boycott I think that would send a very strong message that we have certain values in this country and we're going to stand up for them and make a statement," Balgrave said.

However, Balgrave's view did not seem to be shared by more senior Cabinet colleagues. Minister of Culture and Tourism Alain Lapierre, through whose Ministry the KOC receives its funding, later said that the government does not contemplate putting financial pressure on the KOC. Lapierre also denied that the government wanted to see a boycott.

"I think most people in Kelssek want to see our athletes competing at the Olympics," said Lapierre, adding, "Frankly, I don't foresee Cabinet making a policy on this."

However, it's clear a significant number of activists could be planning to make an appearance at the Games to protest what they see as discrimination, with some already promising to disrupt the single-gender events. While no official travel advisory on the subject has been released, Lapierre says protestors must be aware that standards of free speech can be very different in foreign countries.

"The advice is the same as always, if you go to another country you are under their rules, and we can't say the government of Kelssek can help you get away. There is not much we can do about it."

by **Albaie** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 10:11 am

Emperor Michael II stepped of the plane. The colors of the Imperial Federation of Sport and the Imperial Olympics Team logo emblazoned the side of the plane. He was not just here as a foreign dignitary he would compete in every single fencing competition. Back home he was champion in the Épée and Foil and second only to his brother Fredrick in the Sabre he would bring honor to Albaie in those events or go back home with the shame of defeat over his head. From behind him his brother Fredrick came out and Liam closely followed his two brothers were both fencers all three of them prodigious talents from the hours their father had made them do and their countless run ins with close combat during wars. While he was only here to fence and cheer on the team his two brothers were also members of the Water Polo team with Fredrick captaining it. They were Albaie's dream this summer could the brothers bring back the fencing medals and the Water Polo could Dubrack's descendants be like Dubrack in the world of sport.

Behind them came Albaie's biggest rivals in the world of sport Lucius Smith and Remus Rexford both amazing runners the two had kept between them the Albaie Championship for the last 5 years swapping it almost every year. The two had been born on the same day in the same hospital, went to the same nursery, same private school and then same university each learning from the same coaches even to this day and while on the track they were fierce rivals off it they were best friends each one the others best man at his wedding and his first born's godfather.

Behind them came Sir Romulus Heffington-Smith the Albaie National Heavyweight Champion and could well be in with winning the Olympics this year. He was vast in size and the suit he was wearing looked ready to burst from his muscles. He was the first born of Sir Alexander Heffington-Smith one of the members of the Board of The Imperial Federation of Sport and had been Albaie National Heavyweight Champion since the year he first entered steam rolling the competition. When not wrestling he was a Knight of The Body and was the only one to do something other than guard the Emperor but that was only because the Emperor personally headhunted him for the Knight's after watching him perform in the 2010 Imperial Boxing Championship Final. His eyes were fixed on the Emperor and as the nearest Knight of The Body the Emperor was his responsibility. Despite his vast size and amazing skill at boxing out of the ring he was normally a nice man but there was a something inside him and when released nothing could stop him. He is known to boxing fans as " Dubrack " due to his feats in the ring being almost like Dubrack and at 6'9 so does his physical description.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 10:47 am

More info on Gregoryisgodistan's athletes, Part 2 in a multi-part series:

Soldier JAVHUTE will be competing in the men's 100 meter dash. He is 24 years old. He is a soldier in the army in addition to running. He is the fastest man in Gregoryisgodistan, with a personal best of 10.01 seconds, also a national record. He finished first at the Olympic trials, and is Gregoryisgodistan's only competitor who was chosen on merit, though one other competitor (see below) received a government wild card into the event.

Worship Leader of Sector 35 is also competing in the men's 100 m dash, though he received a government-granted wildcard as opposed to qualifying during the trials. He will be competing at the Olympics in his worship robes, which like all worship leader robes, are white friar's robes with "Lord Almighty Gregory" written in bold black letters across the front. He is not particularly fast - his personal best is only 12.98 seconds, and he usually runs slower. He is one of the youngest worship leaders, at age 35, but this also makes him one of the oldest Olympians. Worship Leader of Sector 35 also received a government-granted wildcard into the 200 meters, where his personal best is 25.89 seconds.

Military General Jake DeLathia is also competing in the 200 meter track event. He is 25 years old and a General in the Army, commanding the 9th squadron. He finished first at the Olympic trials in the final, but only third in the semifinal behind Worship Leader of Sector 35 and Soldier JAVHUTE. However, those two both false started in the final and were disqualified. Military General Jake DeLathia's personal best time is 25.88 seconds, set in the Olympic trial final, but the national record of 25.82 seconds was set by Soldier JAVHUTE in the semifinal.

Personal Slave 385918, a personal slave of an unspecified highly-ranked government official, will be competing in the men's marathon after winning the Gregoryisgodistan Marathon with a time of 2:41:51, his personal best and a national record. He has been given a break from his slavery to compete in the Olympics and represent Gregoryisgodistan, which is not unusual. He is 18 years old.

Military General Fredrick L. Cepeda, commander of the Navy's 2nd squadron, will be competing in judo in the Men's 66 kg event. He is 26 years old. Not much is known about him as he only qualified by receiving a government-granted wildcard. He's a wildcard in more ways than one, as he really is an unknown talent. He is very strong as a military leader, though. The same can be said of Military SuperGeneral Douglas K. Cepeda and Military Lieutenant of the Southwestern Sector (who does not have a name, only a title) who both received wildcards as well into judo events.

Enemy Crusher Harold Flipkens will be competing in the men's over 100 kg judo. He did qualify on merit, having crushed enemies before in extrajudicial executions, which are legal in Gregoryisgodistan as long as the government orders them. Needless to say, Enemy Crusher Harold Flipkens works for the government and is pretty high ranking. He weighs 178 kg, or roughly 392 pounds, and is very strong, strong enough to crush enemies. Enemy Crusher Harold Flipkens will be one of Gregoryisgodistan's best chances to medal this Olympiad.

Personal Favors Slave HAUSUJF987BEAUTY and Personal Flavors Slave TINKERBELLHAJKALDE also received government-issued wildcards into judo, in women's competitions. However, this is just for the enjoyment of their master, who is a high-ranking government official. They are not very good, but their master thought it would be sexy for them to judo compete, and forced them to do so.

Details on shooting athletes will come tomorrow in Part 3, while details on Taekwondo and Tennis competitors will be published Monday in Part 4.

by **Zwangzug** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:10 pm

The Bassabook Baritone

Who needs ragequits when you can have pagequits?

Take Five: Contenders who might conceivably like win medals or something
by the interns whose term is up at the end of the month

1. Lily Putnam (long jump)
by Mikhaila Trenton
Putnam is probably Zwangzug's best hope among athletes-as-in-track-and-fielders. Or really more like track-or-fielders because they only do one. There's nobody in the decathlon or heptathlon. Although Zwangzug doesn't enter a lot of these one-gender-only events, given the new laws or whatever. This is more of a problem in this tournament. I was tempted to join or start my own boycott as a consequence. Sadly, I will not be able to do that because I am completing my internship, so you'll only hear as little from me as you already would have.

2. Oscar Butel (slalom canoeing)
by Fiona Schwand

Butel is a product of the new slalom facilities in Layford, which feature lots of technical gates and fast turns. New potential developments for improving it include adding more modular sections so that the courses can change over time, giving racers the ability to adjust to new challenges. In addition, better filter systems will allow for the reuse of more water, to make the practices less wasteful. With a similarly thoughtful attitude, I have striven throughout my time at the Baritone to never obtain my own office supplies when I could get away with using someone else's. Sometimes I try to see how many times I can use a staple remover, then bend the staple back into shape and reload with it, before it eventually becomes too deformed to stop using.

3. Bethany Roper and Jillian Lee (sprint cycling)
by Christopher Baskin

For the first time in many Olympic games, women's sprint cycling will feature teams of two rather than three riders. Some people say this is great for Zwangzug, as after failing to win gold in it the last time around, we now have a chance to start fresh with a new format. I hold similarly high expectations for the group in the newsroom who will accomplish just as much after my departure, although if you have to work harder to brainstorm busywork tasks for my successors, it might somehow get even less productive on the whole.

4. Viveka Mula and Kaj McKiegna (sailing)
by Danilo Ross

Honestly, these two are not all that good compared to several of the other competitors out there. The fact that they're still young enough to compete at such a high level is also surprising. A cynic would say their names are only noteworthy because McKiegna's brother-in-law is a footballer. A cynic would also say that our editor only got this job because she's very close to the brother of one of the guys that writes up the weather.

5. Sindri Craki (weightlifting)
by Nathan Rawlins

After the truly horrific music produced by Jorvelki "rocker" Sindri Person, the name Sindri completely fell out of favor among baby boys in Yovell district, which is why there are now women with the name. The truly elite in her class can lift about four times their weight, cumulatively over the event. If I could do that, I would not be working here. Although, it would have made the smuggling of several tiny but essential parts of many, many other people's computers go about eight times as fast.

In conclusion, any of these competitors could also win medals. If we were staying on at all we recognize that this would need to be edited into something about how we humbly don't expect them to, and how it's silly to root for them just because we're from the same country, and something else really dumb and pointless. However, we are leaving and there's nothing more you can to do us. Goodbye, and good luck to team Zwangzug!

by **D Land and Isles** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:45 pm

THE NATIONAL

THE OLYMPIC PREVIEW

We go over the Nation's best chances for a medal in the upcoming Olympics, sport by sport.

Nakkim during a meet earlier this year

Koa Nakkim, Swimming, (Men's 100m Butterfly): The star swimmer from outside Scottsdale is full of talent. He's entered in 5 swimming events, but is the best in the 100 fly. At the Olympic Trials, last month he set a national record in 51.01, a mark that would of made the Olympic Final last year. He will also go third in the medley relay, an event in which the D Land and Isles team is a dark horse.

Martin Wilomovsky, Swimming, (Men's 10km Open Water): Martin come from a deep swimming history. His father was the coach of the National team when they went to the world championships in 2009. His mother is the VP of DLI Swimming, and his little brother holds the national junior record for the 400m free, and was third at the Olympic trials. He used to be a very strong pool swimmer but when he realized he couldn't be a contender in the 1500m free he decided to take his talents into the ocean.

Kendra Johnson, Swimming, (Women's 100m Backstroke): Kendra Johnson is the one bright spot for a Women's swim team that is going through a transition year. The national record holder in the 100 and 200 backstroke, she's focusing on the 100m because," I really want to win a medal, so I'm taking a risk and putting all of my eggs in the 100m basket. I just hope it pays off." On a more personal note she's due to marry Koa Nakkim (see story above), later this year.

Jermey Johnson, Athletics, (200m): Jermey Johnson is just glad he's here. The fact that he's one of the best in the world is just icing on the cake. Diagnosed with a rare and chronic eye disease when he was 12, doctors thought for sure he would be blind by the time he was 18. However, he stuck with his training, and was able to forgo a life changing surgery. Now he's one of the best sprinters in the world and a true hero to our nation.

Drinkwater at a meet earlier this year

Will Drinkwater, Athletics (800m/1500m): When you think of middle distance running in D Land and Isles, you most likely think of Will Drinkwater. The up-and coming star from Francisport has already shocked the D Land and Isles running world. At the Olympic Trials in June he set a national record in the 800m in 1:42.91, and a world-leading national record in the 1500m in 3:32.03. Needless to say he has high expectations for the upcoming games.

Jonah Diaz, Athletics (5000m/10000m): Jonah Diaz is to the 5k and 10k as Will Drinkwater is to the 800 and 1500. Despite being grown up in a low-income household, Diaz rose to new levels during his high school career, missing the olympic team from last year by .03. Now back and better than before Diaz looks to medal in his marquee events.

Anika Jensen, Athletics (800m): Jensen is focusing on the 800m these games despite the fact that she could be a contender in the 1500m as well. Blessed with a very strong final kick, she has some of the fastest raw speed in the field. However she can win the race in many ways and is not afraid of leading the whole race.

Genovese after setting a PR at the Olympic Trials

McKenna Genovese, Athletics (5000m): McKenna Genovese is back. After fracturing her elbow, tearing her ACL, and getting tendonitis she is finally good to run again. Genovese started out as a High School star was injured throughout her college career. She's finally back and better than ever, setting a pr at the Olympic Trials in June.

Lauren Boujious, Athletics (3000m ST): The former 5000m star switched to the steeplechase once she realized she good be a lot better in it than the 5k. She's prospered since she switched, now a 4-time defending national champ.

Jack Maddux, Cycling (Time Trial): Jack Maddux could be the most popular athlete in D Land and Isles. His results speak Volumes. He's the defending silver medalist in the men's time trial, and is now the favorite, as the gold medalist is not returing. He won 2 stages of the 1st Island Tour along with the points jersey. In the 1st WTOC he won the time trial at the Big Weekend defeating the World Champion by 16 seconds. He also won D City-Crumpston for the 5th time in a row. At the second Island Tour he sacrificed himself for the team after flatting in the first stage. His sacrifices earned Sean Mcelroy the points jersey

Gavin Hoover, a member of the Pursuit team.

Mens Team Pursuit (Maddux/Hoover/Valencia/Gilliam): One rider is the defending silver medalist in the time trial. One is the best Pursuit rider in the Nation. One is the best sprinter and one is the best distance track rider. The Mens Team Pursuit team could be the best the nation has ever had. After setting the world-leading time of 3:53.03 at the National Championships, last year, they look ready to take their place on the podium in Orean.

Reid at the Star United States Triathlon Tournament earlier this year.

Dan Reid, Triathlon: The nations most decorated triathlete looks to try and get on to the podium after a horrible race last olympiad. He flatted, crashed, and was given two 15-second penalties. "It's just encouraged me to train harder." said Reid in a pre-olympic press conference. Reid, the 2010 world champion, won the D Land and Isles Triathlon triple crown this year winning the D City Triathlon, the Francisport Triathlon, and the National Championships. He pretty much summed his goals up for these games in three words, "It's my time."

Alec Nobbs, Triathlon: The up and coming U23 triathlete is ready to take his place on the world's stage. The two-time junior national champion is making his first olympic appearance. Nobbs specializes in the swim stage of the race and is open to helping Dan Reid make the first bike pack. However, once his duty as domestique is done he will try and crack into the podium.

Jessica Finchamp, Triathlon: A vetrean of the sport, Jessica Finchamp says she needs one more piece of hardware before hanging up her spikes. An Olympic Medal. "I've done everything I can on the domestic level. I've faired pretty well on the international circuit. I just really want that Olympic Medal." The very talented cyclist, Finchamp is also the winner of Scottsdale-Vasco a storied womens cycling race in the south of the country. Look for her to make a move on the bike portion.

Coverage Information:

TV: Select Finals will be broadcasted live on Ch.4. A primetime recap will also be shown on Ch.4. In addition, DLISN ad DLISN2 will show all Finals and select preliminaries in which D Land and Isles athletes are competing.

RADIO: am450 will have various updates and live segments from Orean throughout the day.

INTERNET: DLIsn.net and DLIsn.tv will show all of the events live for a fee of $0.99.

by **Qazox** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:09 pm

Two months ago, offices of the Qazoxian Olympic Committee:

"Ok, handball, men and women. Approved. Gymnastics..."

Stop! We ran out of money!

"What? But we're not even a third of the way through the applications!"

The Senate just voted to cut Olympic funding for this year!

"Really? Shit."

Whatever applications you've processed, that's all we're authorized to send to Liventia.

"I've processed up to only the handball teams."

Lucky for them, huh?

by **Sargossa** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:18 pm

The Island Chronicle

Olympic Special
Aeropeg / Outineau / Lasft / Emberton / Orean

Four years after a very similar photo opportunity the great and the good of Sargossan sport gathered once again on the steps of the Sports Ministry in Soluca. At the centre of the throng was Sports Minister Domingo Orbina, the former boxer turned successful businessman turned politician, with a huge smile on his face. Flanking him were Ricardo Aranda, President of the Olympic Authority of Sargossa (OAS) and Chef de Mission Danté Tostado. Cradled in their hands was the official entry documentation that formed the nation’s registration for the eighth Summer Games in Liventia.

And the minister was in his usual robust form, declaring that he was expecting ‘huge success’ from the delegation. “They’re a great bunch.” He told the assembled media corps. “I can see the hunger in their eyes. I know they’re going to make the whole country very proud.” For his part Aranda, so often the counterweight to ministerial bluster, was altogether more pensive about the upcoming tournament. “A lot has been made in the press about our showing at the Rushmori Games and those sixty medals. Without question it was an achievement we are understandably delighted with but not one that will lead us to a false level of expectation. We’re confident we have a competitive delegation but the strength in depth on show in Orean will be formidable.”

Inevitably the OAS chief was quizzed on Team Sargossa’s targets for the upcoming games and the cunning administrator was his usual non-committal self. “I think you’re all well aware of my thoughts on setting targets. I’m not about to make a rod for my back or anyone else’s. Certainly we have aspirations, a top ten finish, the twenty five medals that will take us to one hundred overall, those would be nice achievements. But I’m not setting specific targets. For the majority of these athletes this is the very pinnacle. This is as good as it gets. They’ll have set their own targets. And it’s up to us to make sure everything is in place for them to go about hitting them.

But it wouldn’t be true Sargossan Olympic preparation without some kind of dispute and sure enough the so called ‘Cash for Canoeing’ controversy reared it’s alliterate head, stemming from the revelation that the OAS were demanding a fee, believed to be about Đ3,000 per competitor, from each sport’s governing body before including their members among the delegation. “It’s disgusting.” Maribel Vela, a canoeing medallist from the Fourth Summer Games in Aeropeg, admitted. “And totally against everything the Olympic movement is meant to stand for. Oh it’s a drop in the ocean for the authorities that run the big sports, the one’s that already have all the money but yet still inexplicably receive all the central funding. They might grumble but they’ll still pay it. It’s the smaller associations who suffer. I’ve seen some great young canoeist out there who will never get a look in because they have no money behind them. Instead our delegation is full of middle aged hobbyists who can effectively buy their way in. The same is true of all the fringe sports. Is that really in the spirit of the Games?”

“Do you know how much we spend in that one single fortnight?” Minister Orbina asked when queried on the fees. “Do you? A fortune. We’re not going to Liventia for a holiday. And we’re a big nation with a big delegation. Add to that all the ancillary costs, the technical staff, the equipment managers, the medical teams and you have a very large number. The vast majority of which is met jointly by the OAS and the Central Government, but it’s not a bottomless pit. I think it only fitting we ask for a little something back.”

While not entirely disagreeing with Señora Vela, Taekwondo star Xaviera Benito attempts to paint a slightly rosier picture. “It’s a tough system, yes it can be unfair and it can ensure that there are competitors included in the delegation who have no right to call themselves sportsmen. But if you’re willing to work for it, to really work for it, there is always hope. I worked two jobs, begged, borrowed, and saved everything I could to get myself to the Games in Lasft and I got myself a gold medal. After that I didn’t need to beg anymore. Funding came to me, sponsors sought me out and now I can give something back to the Taekwondo and Judo Federation so they can finance my own passage to Orean and that of some talented youngsters too. You don’t necessarily have to be a swimmer or sprinter to make an impact, if you have a bit of a talent and a big work ethic anything can happen.

by **Todd McCloud** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:37 pm

Vekaiyu Hopes to Remove Black Eye with Strong Olympic Performance
Reporting for V3 News Services, Rin Slakori

ELDURA - It has been a wild offseason for the Vekaiyun Olympic Council (VOC) to say the least.

The council opened 2013 with plans to construct a hosting bid in Provinsk, a major cultural hub located in east Vekaiyu. This bid was conducted by means of a 2.3 million Veskono feasibility study supplied directly from taxpayer money. The result of said study showed Vekaiyu was prepared to host a Summer Games in the large city. Cue the millions of Vekaiyuns scouring the analyst reports and opinion columns stating how Vekaiyu could very well be a real possibility to host the 2013 games. Even V3 News Services published such an article (Read: How The World Could Benefit from a Vekaiyun Summer). International businesses leeched onto the news, using it in any way they could to strike a deal with Vekaiyun trade. Indeed it was the capstone of what had been a tumultuous ride - from the authoritarian government of Selvala McEva, to the civil war and the emergence of Ikrisia Levinile and a more democratic government, to the slow march toward improving its international image, to this.

Did Vekaiyu actually stand a chance? No one dared discuss it over the dinner table. But most suffice to say would expect a curious race. One could imagine the shock when the results came back for host selection. 33-2. 33 to Liventia. Two, not to Vekaiyu, but to re-open the bids. No votes were cast for Provinsk.

Almost immediately, the finger-pointing began. Social media sites were clogged with accusations of fraud. A petition to boycott the 2013 Games was started and received upwards of 50,000 signatures within the first two days of the unfortunate news. The Kivreskov (legislature) rumbled with calls to condemn the vote. No one could believe that those results were correct. Surely, the Vekaiyun Olympic Council had to vote for themselves!

"We cannot in the clearest of conscience cast a vote for Provinsk when we are called to vote for the best available option," then-chairman of the VOC Verenyi Lemestrovyey addressed in a televised interview. "While we as Vekaiyuns would love to host the games on our own soil, at this time, we do not believe we are the best option out there. To err on the side of national bias over the best possible site would be against our credo as an international sporting organization."

The news hit the nation like a bombshell, egged on by the Vekaiyun Premier, who called the VOC's actions "irresponsible" and "a betrayal of every Vekaiyun citizen's time and money." She was right, according to the court of public opinion. The first group to step up to bat was the city of Provinsk, who sued the VOC on claims of fraud and perjury, the later charge eventually dropped. Deliberations are ongoing. The Kivreskov resolved to launch an investigation into the workings of the VOC. Multiple groups called for the removal of chairman Verenyi Lemestrovyey, which he later succumbed to such cries, stating that he "could no longer represent the council in a positive manner."

Perhaps it was a little harsh, even as these investigations continue. But any nation wouldn't take kindly to such a humiliation. Not only that, but, as political analyst Mateu Lobinove pointed out, "why would they spend 2.3 million veskonos to tell a nation 'we can do it, and we believe we can do it, but we're still not going to vote for you?' It's reminiscent of the con artists of old, who sold so-called miracle cures, then left town the next day when people found out it was a blend of caster oil and vodka."

Lemestrovyey's resignation does not absolve the VOC from any wrongdoing. But the council is trying to remain positive, especially as the Summer Games draw near. Vekaiyu, a nation that placed fifth overall in 2012 and placed second overall in swimming events, seeks to remain a major factor in these games. While some may say the athletes might become distracted over this rollercoaster of an offseason, and others suggest this might give them a chip on their shoulder to compete even harder, most seem impassive. "We don't really care what happens," Vinsent Ivere told V3 News. "They're not the ones who have to compete - that's all on us. We're too busy polishing our routines and training hard to really give it much attention. It is what it is." Still, it could be more helpful than hurtful. Perhaps this distraction is a blessing in disguise for Vekaiyun competitors who don't relish in the super-hot limelight Vekaiyuns place on their international competitors.

There's no crystal ball to see the future here. But expectations are high, based on past performances. How Vekaiyu does in Olympic competition may determine the fate of the Vekaiyun Olympic Council. One would think a strong Vekaiyun showing would take some of the pressure off the body. That may be the case. We'll just have to wait and see on our own, without wasting millions of Veskonos in the process.

by **Ceni** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 7:08 pm

Ceni’s National Olympic Committee (NOC) has signed up for the VIII Summer Olympic Games in Liventia, the first time it has ever done so. This year, Ceni will be competing in diving (men’s springboard and platform); swimming (men’s 100 & 200 m butterfly and men’s 50 m & 400 m freestyle); archery; badminton; fencing; table tennis; and tennis. In total, Ceni will field 20 athletes in 14 events. This year, Cenian NOC head Darran Rampgul hopes that star Cenian tennis players Botack Andiam, Ardil Navsal, and Elaine Foyner will take golds. He also hopes that the smash doubles team of Ricpeer and Perger Rianor will take a gold. Last year, it registered for the VIII Winter Games and achieved a great success, with no medals but 8th in slalom and 11th in ski jump, a first for a non-sporting country. However, involvement was slim, with Cenians neglecting training and image. “This year we will have a much better image, and make other people see Ceni better than they did before,” Rampgul said.

by **Wray** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:01 am

State of Play
A man. Sports. Booze.

Day -4

As you can probably tell, this is a blog about sports. But not any particular sports, in fact, this is a blog about lots of sports, more commonly known as the Olympic Games. This time round they're being held in you guessed it: Liventia.

I've actually been here before, I did a skit on the Winter Games for the Wray Foreign Network, but I found it to be cold and rather boring. However, I'm actually happy that The Wray Olympic Association (WOA for short) sent me on this task, because it means four weeks away, watching some sports I like: Football, Hockey, Athletics (except pole vault), but also some I don't: Equestrian, Gymnastics, Wrestling and the most bizarre sport of all: Pole Vault.

I suppose I should expand on myself really. My name is Harrison McKenzie. HM for short. I'm 5ft 10", 29 years of age, my girlfriend just dumped me and I'm a freelance journo, writing on whatever, and more importantly whenever I want, then papers, magazines, blogs etc. pay me for my work. Don't know why though, this is pretty tragic.

Anyway, about two weeks ago, I was approached by the WOA in a coffee shop in Cartersburg, where I was finishing up a piece on tennis, and how s**t the Wray Tennis Federation really is at doing anything short of holding a charity dinner. Even then they got my order wrong, brought me the wrong whiskey and sat me between the two oldest farts you could possibly imagine.

Anyway, back on topic, I was sitting in this cafe, a personal favourite of mine: Moon Street Coffee, and I look up from my laptop and there's this dude, wearing the recognisable white shirt and blue blazer from the WOA, and naturally, I'm surprised. They have a knack of finding you anywhere and sneaking up to you with you seeing them. The Secret Service should have a word with them regarding a job.

Anyway, he introduced himself as Kevin. Kevin from the WOA. He said that the WOA would like me to write a blog regarding the games, for some f***ing bizarre reason. To this day I've never received an actual reason as to why I was hired. I've been told on numerous times that I'm unfunny and I tend to go horrifically off-topic. The entertainment magazine In the Spotlight described my blog from the inside of a regional Cricket Club as "a terribly bad effort at shedding light on something which is well and truly lit up". Thanks a f***, Doug Lewis.

What was even better was that the WOA not only paid for my ticket, but also put me on the same plane as the bulk of the Olympic team, meaning I got some inside track on what I was writing about. I was sat on the isle seat of a three, which consisted of the Canoeists (is that a word?) Katie McGann and Blair Hamilton, and I'm pretty sure they were probably doin' it whilst I wasn't looking.

Pine Tree Air, or the Parent as we in Wray like to call it (from PTA), is always understaffed and under stocked, and they never had the right whiskey. However, on this occasion, they stocked it. 2006 Nelson's Bay Premier. Pure awesome. I probably had a bit too much, considering I found myself flirting with the captan of the team, Grace Spencer, who was 10 years younger than me. She took none of it and promptly returned to her incessant teenage giggling with her band of underage gymnasts and the like.

Why the WOA insists of making pro athletes out of gorgeous teenagers I'll never know. It's just their slightly creepy way.

I found myself regularly changing seats, as coaches wanted to discuss tactics with their appropriate athletes, and considering I wasn't even a proper journo, I got shifted around a fair bit. So I ended up sitting next to some long distance runners, some divers, a freakishly tall handball player and some cyclists who insisted that they tell me all about the pros and cons of aluminium bikes when it came to different surfaces, and I considered how close I could get to the plane door before being bundled to the floor.

We landed in the surprisingly sunny Orean, and I made a quick mental note of the alcohol available in the Tax Free shopping section. No labels I recognised, so I'd have to dip my toe in the proverbial ocean.

I received a number of odd looks from the customs officials who staffed the special Olympics Channels, as I was wearing a T-Shirt and jeans smelling heavily of booze whilst all around me where Green-and-white track suit clad athletes looked, and smelt, professional. I was questioned by the official "what event are you competing in sir?" and quick off the bat I replied "umm, competitive journalism sir, with a side of the Mixed Drinking Event."

The Official stared blankly at me, evidently not understanding my terrible joke, and I shuffled nervously. I was worried that he'd call Security on me, for impersonating a professional athlete.

Because I wasn't an athlete or coach or associated staff, I had to stay outside the athlete's village. The WOA had booked a room for me in a nearby hotel, but I promptly discovered from the 40 minutes Metro ride that "nearby" during the Olympic Games could be right outside or on the f***ing moon. I was at halfway house.

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:43 am

Part 3 in a 4 part series about Gregoryisgodistan's athletes:

Military SuperGeneral Daniel Robertson, age 24, will be competing in the Men's 10 m Air Pistol, shooting event. As an active member of the military, he has led an estimated 750 extrajudicial executions, 500 by shooting (extrajudicial executions by the military are legal in Gregoryisgodistan as long as the government approves.) He is also one of the trainers who helps train other soldiers with guns. Gregoryisgodistan has a large military, even in peacetime, and the military helps the police with law and order. Military SuperGeneral Daniel Robertson has also been known to shoot the occasional wild animal that is not worshiping Lord Almighty Gregory, plus numerous humans who are not worshiping him at the appointed times. Under Gregoryisgodistan law, these are not included in the extrajudicial execution totals and we don't know how many he did, but we estimte 750. So he knows how to use a gun. He is one of Gregoryisgodistan's top shooters, and shooters is the top sport for us in the Olympics due to the frequent number of executions and shootings of hooligans who roam the street when they should be worshiping Lord Almighty Gregory.

Military SuperGeneral Jorgen von Plipleshde will compete in the same event as the above shooter, as well as in Men's Skeet. He is 25 years old and has been in the military for 11 years. He is very skilled with guns, for use on humans, animals, and targets, and has a lot of practice with all 3. He is considered Gregoryisgodistan's best medal hope and will serve as the flagbearer during the Opening Ceremony.

Soldier UKAK9H4 Was given a government-issued wildcard into the Olympics in Men's Skeet to honor his military service - he won "Soldier of the Year" in 2012. He is about average according to scouting reports, but not much is known about him other than that he is 22 years old.

Lady Soldier HJK9 Won "Female Soldier of the Year" in 2012 and is one of Gregoryisgodistan's strongest female shooters. She is 25 and has been in the military for 14 years, shooting thousands of humans and animals and tens of thousands of targets in that time. She is Gregoryisgodistan's best female medal hopeful.

Lady Soldier HAJKE is Lady Soldier HJK9's twin sister, which is why they have similar ID's. She has also been in the military for 14 years and they are part of the same unit. She will compete in the women's 10 m air pistol. Due to her experience shooting at human infidels, animals, and targets, she is expected to be a strong medal hopeful as well.

Details on the taekwondo and tennis athletes is coming tomorrow.

by **Saintland** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:53 pm

OOC: I'll get a preview RP up after the schedule is released. In the meantime, I think I have enough material to bring back a popular video series.

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello, I am Sister Maria Polus, High Inquisitor and Headmistress at Progress High School. I am joining you today on Sanctustube to discuss a number of situations that have come to my attention lately. I'm sure my viewers around the world have been wondering why I have not made a new video for 3 weeks. I will answer that now. I have been especially busy at Progress High School lately. It is very difficult to operate a school that is filled with foreign resident brats, most of whom are clearly not yet reformed in spite of my best efforts. However, I am doing the Lord's Work. I must do my duty to God and to each of the students at my school, which is to turn them into upstanding citizens. Well, I will not waste any more time. Let's get to the situations that I need to address.

Firstly, there is the situation involving the decision by a number of women to abandon their husbands, abduct their children and go to the God-forsaken Licentian Isles. These women should be ashamed of themselves for their behavior. Proper ladies do not run away from their husband and they do not run off with their children to some Godless land. I deeply regret that those children will now be denied a proper upbringing. Not only will their mothers burn in the fires of Infernus, should they not repent of their sins and return home, but they have also imposed that fate upon their children. There is nothing that these children could have done to deserve being abducted away from their homeland to live in a nation that has no respect for the laws of nature or Nature's God. I implore all of the runaway wives to return the kidnapped children to our Kingdom immediately and I also implore them to return home to their husbands and embrace God's Plan for their lives. If you repent of your sins and perform the appropriate penance, you will be forgiven, both by God and by the temporal authorities.

Another situation involves the nation of Vaugania. The Saintland Press recently reported that the nation of Vaugania has outlawed the True Church of Iesus Christus. They even outlawed possession of Vulgates within their nation, which outrageously claims to be a "Holy Catholic Republic." As you probably already know, the Catholic Church is a sect of schismatics that broke away from the True Church in 966 after they adopted heretical views regarding the nature of Christus. However, Catholics also traditionally used the Vulgate as their official version of the Bible, so they are apparently heretical, even within their schismatic sect.

Something that is even more worrying was another law recently enacted in Vaugania. This law grants asylum to members of the organization Feministvs Sanctvsterra, which is officially classified as a terrorist organization by multiple nations. Apparently, Vaugania wasn't paying attention when Feministvs Sanctvsterra hackers caused utter chaos in a Quebecois city during the last World Cup. They actually triggered alarms at a "bank," an type of usurious organization common in Quebec, to convince the local police that the usurers were being robbed. It was a massive, well-orchestrated attempt to cause chaos to permit Feministvs Sanctvsterra terrorists to escape the city. It would have worked, but the Quebecois were on to them and the military captured the terrorists. I am certain that I speak on behalf of everybody in Saintland when I say that I am grateful to the Quebecois government for deporting those terrorists back to our Kingdom, where they are currently receiving their just reward.

May I also remind the Vauganian authorities that Feministvs Sanctvsterra terrorists are a major source of Internet spam? Have they forgotten that incident during the 2nd World Korfball Classic in Vaugania earlier this year when Feministvs Sanctvsterra terrorists flooded the email servers in our Kingdom with so much spam that they knocked out our entire Internet infrastructure for 24 hours? Have they not noticed the flood of "adbots" promoting Cantvs Feministvs "music" videos that show those korfball-playing terrorists desecrating our most sacred Cathedral? May I remind them of the naked protests by Feministvs Sanctvsterra at the Cup of Harmony in those God-forsaken Licentian Isles? Do I need to remind the Vaugania authorities that Feministvs Sanctvsterra have disrupted countless World Cup qualifying matches and countless World Bowl games? Is this really the kind of organization that you want to grant asylum? I believe Vaugania is an elected government, so I encourage anybody watching this video in Vaugania to vote out your government at the next election. Your government is clearly hostile to religious liberty and moral decency. Unless you want a bunch of naked feminists running around in your country, I advise you to get rid of your leadership.

Third, I want to discuss the recent reports by the Kirkenes Courier of Kelssek that were brought to my attention. Apparently, the feminist terrorist organization from Kelssek is planning to disrupt the Olympics. They object to the removal of several events that violate natural gender roles. Apparently, some "lady" named Callie Rainsford is unhappy about the removal of women's Greco-Roman wrestling from the Orean Olympics. Kelssek's extremist elements also object to the removal of men's synchronized swimming and men's rhythmic gymnastics. Kelly Jones-Szchynkowski, a professor of "gender studies" at the University of Etnier in Kelssek is also upset about the removal of these events. Mrs. Jones-Szchynkowski apparently does not even have enough respect for her husband's rightful authority to take his surname. Even most of those women in countries that reject the natural gender roles ordained by God still have enough respect for their husband to take his name.

Mrs. Jones-Szchynkowski complains that the Olympics are "reinforcing myths about gender construction in our society" and "favoring entrenched privilege," but really this is just a move toward reality by the Olympic organizers. More worryingly, Mrs. Jones-Szchynkowski alleged that the Olympic Village is a den of vice, where fornication is rampant. Earlier today, an employee of the King's Government discovered this article and I have permission from my superiors in the Church hierarchy to reveal that a number of priests, monks and nuns from the True Church will be traveling to Orean, Liventia to stay in the Olympic Village. Their mission will be to maintain moral standards among Olympic athletes and convert foreign athletes to God's True Church. I can assure all of my viewers that the clergy will report any infractions of Liventian laws that may occur in the Olympic Village to the proper authorities.

There was another report from the KBC, which is apparently Kelssek's equivalent of Royal One, that 2 members of their government's cabinet took opposing positions on an Olympic boycott. Apparently, some disgrace to his office named Geoff Balgrave wanted to boycott the Orean Olympics over the aforementioned exclusion of women's Greco-Roman wrestling. However, Alain Lapierre, another official from Kelssek's government contradicted that statement. Reports indicate that protesters from Kelssek, not dissimilar to Feministvs Sanctvsterra, intend to disrupt certain events at the Olympics. If this happens, I encourage the authorities in Liventia to crack down on those terrorists.

Most of the other foreign news reports I have seen thus far focus on the relative merits of their Olympic delegations. I must admit that I am not an expert on the Saintland-Acedonia Unified Team, but I look forward to watching my sister-in-law Sophia compete in table tennis. However, I am most proud of my nephew Marcus, who will be swimming in both the 100 and 200 meter backstrokes and will also be swimming the backstroke leg of the medley relay. I am hopeful that he will bring back 3 gold medals to show his aunt Maria. Alas, my duties as High Inquisitor and Headmistress at Progress High School, which remains re-opened for the summer, have made it impossible to attend this year's Olympics in person. However, I will be watching on television and I hope the hundred thousand or so Sanctii that made the trip to Liventia enjoy themselves and I hope they can attain their lofty goal. I hope they can become the first delegation to win 100 medals at an Olympic Games in 6 years. I am Sister Maria Polus and I thank you for watching.

by **Chiata** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:59 pm

Chiata Sports Nework

**Chiata Sports Network is sponsered by:
Jared Auto
Glenbrook Financial
North Airlines
The National Football Asoisiation of Chiata**

Frank- Hello everybody, I am Frank Zian and beside me is Jordy Upwalker.

Jordy- Hi folks. And welcome to Chiata Sports Network

Frank- This network was made so that Chiatans could become more connected to our beloved sports.

Jordy- Also for the upcoming olypmis games! That's right folks. Chiata has been entered into the 8th Olympiad.

Frank- Now lets get to our first topic. Football. As usual, the Chiata Suns have been entered. This is only thier third major league soccor competition.

Jordy- They were good in the 52nd BoF where they got to the round of 16. However, the floped in the World Cup 65 getting 9th place in group 13.

Frank- However, they have improved since that embaressing season. "We did pretty bad in the World Cup. But hay! We can only get better!" - Coach Fillmont of the Chiata Suns.

Jordy- The Suns are ranked 195th in the world.

Frank- Now onto our next topic! Who should you look out for to get a medal.

Jordy- Well that's almost like asking if the sun will come up tommorow. The favoret for the 8th Olympiad is Chiata's flag bearer. Beverley Messina.

Frank- She is definently good. She is entered in the Woman's Individual All-Around. She wiped the floor with the other gymnists at the Chiata Olypmic Qualifiers.

Jordy- We expect here to do good.

Frank- Alright Jordy, what team do you expect to do the best this Olympics.

Jordy- That's a tuff one. I would have to say one of our basketball teams. Basketball is really popular out west. I know that because I'm from the west. Every day, kids would get out an old b-ball and start shooting. I was one of them. Thatls how I made it to the pros. The only reason I'm not on the Olympic team is because of my old knee!

Frank- Alright Jordy that's enough complimenting yourself. We wait ancusly for the Olypic schedual.

Jordy- Next we will talk about how the Chiata Pumas are doing in the Friendly Cup 9.

Frank- We will get back to you after the brake.

**Chiata Sports Network is sponsered by:
Jared Auto
Glenbrook Financial
North Airlines
The National Football Asoisiation of Chiata**

Games of the VIII Olympiad – RP thread

Games of the VIII Olympiad – RP thread

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