World Cup LXV (65) RP Thread

[Super-Llamaland]

Group 1 Predictions:
Taeshan (11): 0-0-2 (No Points)
Sargossa (27) 0-1-1 (One Point)
Armed Bears (51) 1-1-0 (Three Points)
Leorudo (79) 1-0-1 (Four Points)
Super-Llamaland (117)
Horusland (165) 0-0-2 (Two Points)
Kalusia (231) 1-0-1 (Four Points)
The fief of Sir Kunne (267) 1-1-0 (Three Points)
Oralana (308) 2-0-0 (Six Points)
Friday Freshman (UR) 1-1-0 (Three Points) TOTAL GUESS: Twenty-Six Points

Qualifying Schedule
MD1: 1v10, 2v9, 3v8, 4v7, 5v6
MD2: 10v6, 7v5, 8v4, 9v3, 1v2
MD3: 2v10, 3v1, 4v9, 5v8, 6v7
MD4: 10v7, 8v6, 9v5, 1v4, 2v3
MD5: 3v10, 4v2, 5v1, 6v9, 7v8
MD6: 10v8, 9v7, 1v6, 2v5, 3v4
MD7: 4v10, 5v3, 6v2, 7v1, 8v9
MD8: 10v9, 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5
MD9: 5v10, 6v4, 7v3, 8v2, 9v1
MDs 10-18, matches are reversed.

Both users will scorinate their matches sometime between 9 and 11 pm CDT.[/quote]

"Today on Soccer with Spiff with me, Spiff Spiffman, we look at the WCLXV group for the Llamas! Or...YOU Look at the WCLXV group! What are your thoughts on Taeshan, Sargossa, Armed Bears, Leorudo, Super-Llamaland, Horusland, Kalusia, The fief of Sir Kunne, Oralana, and Friday Freshman? Call 335-22-SPIFF! Hi, Jon from Vargas!"

"Hey, it's a pretty okay group but the Llamas have slipped in the rankings, to 117. So they're the underdogs again, aren't they?"
"Yes Jon, we're fifth of ten in rank so we aren't the favorites."
"So, if it's this meaningless, why not play Matthews instead of DeJesus and get the ranking up?"
"Wait, wait what? This isn't meaningless, we need the ranking up so we'll play DeJesus cause he's polished."
"But he isn't polished! I mean, Matthews is seventeen! He needs experience!"
"I would have sent him back instead of Garrett McMoore. McMoore is more experienced. Give him experience in the Llamaland Soccer league, he won't play here!"
"No, but-"
*CLICK*

"Chris from Dinschria."
"Hey, we get the 6-9 teams in the first four MDs so how important is it to get out in front early?"
"Well, we have to take the most advantage of 'em and go 7-1 or 6-2. If we go 4-4 or 5-3 and then something like 3-7 on the rest of 'em, then we'll be 7-11 (without ties) and nobody ever gets past qualifiers by going 7-11. We have to push that, go 7-1. 7-1 and 3-7 makes 10-8, and then we have a chance."

CLICK

"Ron from Talahita."
"What do you think about our final three games?"
"If we're in it, we get 6, 7, and 8. That's easy points, and we can talk more about it when it's there. If we need to."

CLICK

"And now, a word from Nikcoro Ice-Cold Water."
"NIIIIIIIIKCORO ICE COLLLD WATERRRRR...THE BESSSST CHOICE FOR YOUUUUUUUU!"

[Neo Lemmitania]

Little Billy: Crunch crunch crunch! Mom, these chips are borrrrrring!

Mom: Well, I notice you keep stuffing your face with them.

LB: I can’t help it! I’d stuff my face with something else if I could.

Mom: Well, that’s just too bad. Because boring old potato chips are the only snack in Neo-Lemmitania. If you don’t like ‘em, you’ll just have to lump ‘em.

LB: Dammit!

Mom: Billy! Please don’t use that kind of language on the radio!

LB: But, Mommmm!

Mom: No backtalk from you, now. Just eat your boring, lifeless potato chips. Or starve, I don’t care.

Voiceover: How often has this happened to you, Mrs. or Ms. Neo-Lemmitania?

Mom: Way too often.

VO: I feel your pain. But I have some good news! Your troubles are nearly at an end!

Mom: What are you talking about?

VO: Why, I’m talking about LemmingChips(tm)!

Mom: LemmingChips? What are LemmingChips?

VO: Oh, only the tastiest new snack to hit Neo-Lemmitania since 1932!

Mom: 1932? What did they eat in 1932?

VO: Cardboard and sawdust, mainly. And cobwebs.

Mom: Yuck!

VO: But don’t despair! You don’t have to eat that crap anymore!

Mom: I don’t? Why not?

VO: Because the wonderful people at the Electric Lemming Corporation have finally invented LemmingChips(tm)!

Mom: LemmingChips? I keep hearing about these LemmingChips - it seems like someone mentioned them just a moment ago!

VO: That was me, Mrs. Neo-Lemmitania. Because I’m here to tell you all about them.

Mom: Why, that’s wonderful!

VO: Yes, LemmingChips are the healthiest lemming-based snack in all the universe. They’re made from 100% pure LemmingChip compound, sliced into slices and fried until deliciously crispy in a vat of 100% delicious LemmingOil(tm).

Mom: LemmingChip compound? LemmingOil? It sounds healthy, but how do I know it’s really the best thing I can stuff into my Little Billy’s mouth hole?

VO: Because it’s from the Electric Lemming Corporation! So it’s got to be good!

Mom: Oh, it’s from the Electric Lemming Corporation? Then it’s got to be good!

VO: Yes, you said it, and I said it, and that makes two of us. So it has to be true.

Mom: Well, these LemmingChips sound delicious and nutritious and downright wonderful, but I don’t have any. And Little Billy is so hungry! Look at him shoveling those potato chips down his throat.

VO: Don’t despair, Ms. Neo-Lemmitania. You can get a bag of fresh, crispy LemmingChips at any respectable grocer, gas station, flea market, online retailer, or used sock bazaar. So go buy a bag right now! And wean Little Billy off those horrible potato-based chips he’s been gorging himself on.

Mom: I’m going!

Shemp: Wow, that message really makes me hungry for a bag of LemmingChips. What about you, Milt?

Milt: I love me some LemmingChips, Shemp.

Shemp: Anyway folks, welcome back to the second half of Shemp’s Corner, the only pan-athletic talk show in Neo-Lemmitania, brought to you by a generous grant from the Electric Lemming Corporation, makers of that wonderful snack food, LemmingChips! Joining me for tonight’s show is Milt Lemkins, host of Neo-Lemmitanian Sports Today on the Neo-Lemmitanian Radio Network, and former play-by-play man for the Lemmsylvania Lemamanders semi-pro cricketball team. So Milt, we’ve spent the first half of the show discussing the Rugby League playoffs, and their inexorable march toward tomorrow’s championship match between Lemmington and Lemvoola. Now, let’s shift focus a little and touch on the start of the World Cup qualifiers, which comes just a day after the NRL championship. Did you catch the Baptism of Fire matches, Milt?

Milt: I did, Shemp. Crazy sport, this ‘football.’ But I like it, I like it.

Shemp: I’m liking it too. After years of nothing but rugby and basketball and a bit of semi-pro circketball, I feel like Neo-Lemmitania’s ready for a new sport.

Milt: Absolutely agree with you on that one, Shemp. And for what it’s worth, it looks like the Neo-Lemmitanian rugby players are not too shabby at ‘football,’ either. Two wins, two draws, and one loss in their five B.O.F. games. Not a bad result.

Shemp: Lemmy Lemster did a fine job pulling these guys together into a respectable team.

Milt: He did, and for a guy whose main claim to fame is being head coach of the Limmsburgh Scoundrels - I mean, he knows rugby, sure. But football? Who could have predicted?

Shemp: I talked to him a couple of days ago and he told me his biggest concern for the opening round is whether the boys will be adequately rested. With half a dozen of his starters playing in the rugby league championship tomorrow.

Milt: I saw the group draw today for the qualifiers. The Lemmings are ranked near the bottom, no surprise for their first outing in the sport. One of our B.O.F. hosts, Legalese, is in the group, and Starblaydia’s the other power. The opener’s against Hutt River, who’ve been around for a bit on the international football scene. Not a bad draw for the opening match.

Shemp: Think the Lemmings have a chance?

Milt: I can’t imagine they’ll do better than stay in the game. A win would be pretty surprising. This is an opponent several notches above the caliber of the sides faced in the B.O.F.

Shemp: Realistically, you’re no doubt correct. The other news that may be of interest to our listeners is, they’ve announced the play-by-play and color commentary team for LRN’s coverage of the tournament.

Milt: Oh yeah? I hadn’t heard, is it Lemzig and Melmond? Or Lemstrong and Cottington?

Shemp: Hah. Well, it’s neither of those. It’s Lemson and Gilson.

Milt: No kidding? The Lemming Radio Network bigwigs picked Gil Lemson and Clem Gilson?

Shemp: Yeah, they did.

Milt: To call a major international sporting event. For real?

Shemp: I wouldn’t be making this up.

Milt: Huh. Well, that’s an unexpected one for me.

Shemp: Yeah, me too. I was pretty sure it was going to be Dan and Ricotta. Or Hedda and Lemma.

Milt: Well, should be entertaining anyway.

Shemp: For the listeners, sure.

Milt: I mean, I kind of feel for you. I know you and Lemson don’t always...

Shemp: Don’t always what?

Milt: See things the same way. For lack of a better way of putting it.

Shemp: Did you catch the episode of Shemp’s Corner after the first B.O.F. match, when he was the guest?

Milt: I caught it.

Shemp: Think it bodes well?

Milt: Hey, I’m sure it’ll go fine. I mean, I know you can pull it off regardless of who they put in the booth with you.

Shemp: Thanks.

Milt: Good luck.

Shemp: Yeah.

Milt: I mean, they don’t call you the Dean of Neo-Lemmitanian sports for nothing. Right?

Shemp: No, they do not. And on that note, we’ll break for an important message from our underwriter.

[Gaveo]

The Gaveoan Times

World Cup LXV Qualifiers

Flag of Gaveo.

By: Beni Cortez

Here we go, into a journey of epic proportions, we will have our highs and our lows, facing giants and facing newbies into the international front. We are ranked 109th in the world, a 10 spot gain from our previous rank. Gaveo has gone to the Market Cup and while we did not win we went into the playoffs and that was enough for us. Now we prepare for the 65th World Cup with our group drawn here is a preview of who we will face.

We were drawn to Group 6 and we face Mytannion (21), Jeruselem (32), Mesoland (56), Bergnovinaia (83), Beaverriver (182), Metropolis Mania (254), Telnaior (281), Querria (339) and Worszary (UR). We will face Mytannion for the first time, Jeruselem for the first time in a while, since World Cup 63 I believe or was it 62? Anyways, we will be having a World Cup 64 qualifications rematch with Bergnovinaia and face newbies and unknowns (at least to us), Beaverriver, Metropolis Mania, Telnaior, Querria and unranked Worszary.

Head Coach Juan Villaroel in his third qualifications has stated that he might start thinking about retirement after this World Cup is over. He has said that he is getting old and must give a new opportunity to another coach. He as also stated that he will show the truth on how he got the job. Anyways, we face Beaverriver first at home. We have a great lineup with players like Sebastian Cadiz, Santiago Rojas currently playing in Felix, and Joshua Hood a talented young forward from Santiago. We will continue to play our aggresive style and we hope to win our first match. Good luck and go Gaveo.

---
The Ministry of Tourism proudly presents...

With special thanks to Wight...

With world cup fever at a high right now, the Ministry of Tourism has decided to make a guidebook to everything Gaveoan. Before we give you, the reader, of a in depth guide to Gaveo, we shall give you a in depth guide, the her colonies. As many people like to call it, our Gaveoan Overseas Territories. From here in Tanos to the random reaches of the sea the once glorious Gaveoan Empire made it's mark on the world, now that Gaveo was once reunited in 2012, they reclaimed all their territory much with out conflict, well... Except for the Amelian war of indepence... Anyways, this guide will show you what our colonies are like. So prepare to take a journey and enjoy the ride.

Introduction

Since the foundation of the Empire, Gaveoans have been always curious of other lands, sometimes we saw other nations and made friends and other we have conquered. Here is our first colony.

Yelsia-

Yelsia first became a Gaveoan colony in the 1300s, with the exploration of the southern lands by Miguel Cobra. The exploration of the new lands eventually gave way to colonization and the first Gaveoan settlers arrived at around mid 1300s. With the discovery of gold and silver in the mountains of Yelsia a population boom was exprienced and Yelsia grew. After the collapse of the Gaveoan Empire, Yelsia suffered, since they were so dependent on the Empire they nearly collapsed, the government of Yelsia was weak and was gladly reaccepted into the newly founded Gaveoan Republic. They have a coastline and it's considered the best in the region with thousands of beaches, mainly populated by either fishermen or retiring Gaveoan enjoy their Golden Years. The capital of Yelsia is Cordoba and their current Governor is Jeff Davis. The official languages are English, Spanish and Russian. The host a wide varity of peoples as they have some Gaveoan elves. The economy is currently recovering from a economic collaspe after the demand of coal, gold and silver went down dramaticlly. They are currently using a high tax rate to pay off debt and it is rahter unattractive to many foreigneers. Luckily the colonial tax is optional but the regional tax is not, usually those taxes are about 10 to 15 percent of your income. The climate of Yelsia varies from a highly humid and hot southern coasts to warm but barable in the northern coasts to a nice and temperate climate in the central areas. The population of Yelsia is 100 million with most of the people living in Cordoba.

This has been part one of the introduction to the Gaveoan Overseas Territories keep ready to find out more interesting information while you watch Gaveo play in the World Cup. Good luck to your teams and this has been the Lonely Multiverse.

[Sangti]

LAST CHANCE
Roman Barlaan, El Diario Deportivo del Sangti

For Jerous Manalo, it is his last chance to prove himself that he can coach a national team.

After a disappointing exit in the Baptism of FIre 52 preliminaries, Jerous Almirante, the FAS Chairman, allegedly told Manalo that he must finish at the top half of Group 16 to keep his job.

GROUP 16
Wight (18)
Karditan (41)
Jedi8246 (67)
Saintland (80)
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (124)
Sondstead (199)
Aquitayne (254)
Sangti (281)
The Sovan Antithesis (315)
Narsora (UR)

They will first have an away match to face Jedi8246. The natioh has been competing in the NS World Cup since its 56th incarnation, so it would be a tough job for the Agilang Dilaw to contain their superiority. However, the Sangtian faithful will hope to finish better than eighth in the group. Let's hear what some of Sangti's diehard fans say.

"Go Sangti! We hope to perform well in the qualifiers and not just lose 5-0 to top teams. If they keep their composure, they can make a surprise run in the WC 65 just like what the Indios did in the WBC 26." - Shireen Tomas from Nespa

"Jerous Manalo! You must perform well, the big bosses from FAS are watching your performance out there. Don't make us disappoint." - Rhandy Santos from Ciudad Sangti

"To have a national team match at Nuevo Campamento will be a great thing for us Nomadians here. I hope the Agilang Dilaw will perform up to our expectations." -Kiel Reyes from Gabel

---

The national team recently signed Iscrachi, Sepsi, BancaRote, Rumasino and Deportes AE as sponsors for the Agilang Dilaw.

Jenny Torres, manager and CEO of Iscrachi, told the DDS, "It is a great honor to sponsor our national team. I hope they do well in their endeavors and they can surprise teams in this edition of the World Cup."

The official statements from these sponsors will be published in the next edition of DDS World Cup Special.

These sponsors join Audioslavia's Kirola and our own Sangti Sports in the training kit of the Agilang Dilaw. Further sponsorships are to be explored.

---

Relative to other groups, the group that Sangti was drawn to was a relatively easier group. The highest ranked nations are Wight, ranked 18, Karditan, ranked 41 and Saintland, ranked 80. However despite the statement from Saintland that the quality from the nations from BoF 52 are not that high enough, the Sangtians will prove to their opponents in Matchday 2 that no teams must be underestimated.

WC 64 champions and top-ranked Audioslavia is in Group 8 and the runners-up Andossa Se Mitrin Vega is Group 4. Both of these nations are expected to qualify comfortably from their respective groups. Well, the puny German-Spanish Empire is in Group 7 and all Sangtians hope that they lose all of their games 0-10 and finish with the worst record in World Cup History.

---

The FAS has decided that 5 home matches of Sangti will be played at the Estadio Ferdinand Marcos, and the other 4 at the Estadio de los Inversores Chinos in Baoyam and Nuevo Campamento in Gabel. The officais from the three stadia are now preparing to host their respective matches.

MD2 vs Saintland (@Ferdinand Marcos)
MD4 vs Sondstead (@Inversores Chinos)
MD7 vs The Sovan Antithesis (@Nuevo Campamento)
MD9 vs Karditan (@Ferdinand Marcos)
MD10 vs Jedi8246 (@Ferdinand Marcos)
MD12 vs The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (@Ferdinand Marcos)
MD14 vs Aquitayne (@Nuevo Campamento)
MD15 vs Narsora (@Inversores Chinos)
MD17 vs Wight (@Ferdinand Marcos)

[United Gordonopia]

The Beautiful Game: A History of Football in Gordonopia
By Dr. Frank Donaugh, Imperial University

Preface

To countless Gordonopians, Football is on par with Faith. In the North, a hundred million live and die by the fortunes of FC Deska. The GPL finals at Empire, Dom zum Spiel, bring regular live to a screeching halt nationwide. The entire nation, all nine billion, unites as one when the National Team takes to the pitch. But how did this sport, one which arrived on Gordonopian shores barely more than a century ago, ascend to such heights? To answer that, one must go to the beginning; trace the path of the game as it rose from an import to an ideal.

First, though, one matter must be put to rest. What was there before football? Anyone with a rudimentary understanding of people could guess that no civilization, certainly not one so old and so sizable as that of Gordonopia, could exist without some form of sport or game. Even if there was no 'national sport,' surely various localities and regions would have devised their own means of entertainment? The simple answer is that the people of Gordonopia ran.

Though Gordonopia has yet to run on the world stage for a variety of reasons, anyone visiting the country could tell you that if there is one sport that approaches, or perhaps even equals, the stature of the world's game it is running. While Gordonopian Football, particularly on the vaunted club level, may be more visible around the globe, and the massive stadiums that play host to hundreds of matches on the top level alone are practically holy ground, running is just as much a part of Gordonopia's soul.

While football did not enter the country until the 20th century, running has been more than just a contest for over two millennium. In 150 BCE, to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the unification of the four major city states, the First Aureleon was held leading up to the summit of Mount Aurel. The course had been the site of the decisive battle in the last of the Unification Wars, and champions from around the young Kingdom competed to see who could complete the roughly 19.2 km course first. The race itself was two parts plains, one part beach, one part mountain, adding symbolism for the locations of the four city states: Gordonopia and Fusba on the plains, Teva on the coast, and Deska in the Northern Mountains. The next year, a second occasion was marked when more competitors, many who had participated just a year before, raced the 37 kilometers from Ralijnon to the city of Gordonopia along the route of the two-day victory parade for the returning troops ten years prior.

The two races, the Aureleon and the Victoron, became a rotating annual tradition, each of which has now held over 1000 editions. In the early centuries, competitors came exclusively from military units, most commonly from the units which historians today call 'Running Battalions,' who used stamina to attempt to outmaneuver and encircle enemy forces. Over time, as running became the most popular competitive activity in most communities, large cities gained the honor of sending a representative of their own.

Many changes have taken place over the years, such as the former slowly rounding out to an even 20 km and the latter eventually becoming a marathon through the Gordonopia City megalopolis, but the general principle remains the same. Every year, roughly 50 competitors, virtually all of them professional runners with the exception of two representatives from the armed forces, toe the line at one of the two races, with the eyes of the entire nation on their backs. The greatest of these champions are honored at the two nearly identical Pantheons located at the finish lines of the races. Within, two massive stone blocks, each thousands of years old, have inscribed on them in Archaic Gordonopian the names of each winner of that respective race. The walls of the Pantheons have twelve masterfully cut statues honoring the greatest of the great, all of whom have won at least three races and at least one of each of the two, with room for eight more. The day of the race, the third Saturday in August, is considered a national holiday, and roughly 30-40% of the nation watches the final leg of whichever race takes place that year. Even the courses themselves are considered sacred. For example, while the course of the Aureleun lay in the middle of the front amidst the recent War of Restoration, both sides held an unspoken agreement to keep their forces away from the grounds.

Of course, while winning one of these ancient races makes a runner as famous as any footballer, the sport extends beyond those two. Three more ancient races such as the 'Dorithon' in Fusba, considered the third most prestigious race, have their own historic roots. In this case, it is the tale of Dorian, the highest of all champions honored in the Pantheon. After serving time in war, he won ten consecutive races in the 18th century, five Aureleons, five Victorons, a feat which has never been approached. The undefeated hero announced that he would run a race around the old city walls of Fusba, daring anyone to beat him. It was only in the final sprint that Dorian passed up Lijan, a 17 year old youth who is himself honored in the Pantheon.

Beyond races with histories befitting their own heroic epics, top-level competitive running takes on a wide array of events. Major cities typically hold several marathons, some of which are multi-day events. The Gordonopia City Marathon, one of six throughout the Capitol Metro Area, sees hundreds of thousands of entrants who are spread out over three days and five starts. Road races draw innumerable entries at virtually any distance. Track and field competitions are widely attended and viewed at the professional level, and most cities have at least one dedicated track stadium.

Of course, the sport does not exist solely at the highest level of competition. Roughly 48% of Gordonopians call themselves runners, and can be seen on the streets and parks of any city or town. Youth track and cross country programs around the country have huge turnouts.

With running so deeply rooted in Gordonopia, how could football grow so quickly to equal it? Explaining that is exactly the reason this history was written.

[Ko-oren]

Ko-oren at World Cup 65 Preview

Schedule
Ko-oren v. Piddlehinton
The Holy Empire v. Ko-oren
Ko-oren v. Rex Lucian
Ko-oren v. Iturributa
Liventia v. Ko-oren
Ko-oren v. San Potato
The Sova Empire v. Ko-oren
Ko-oren v. Nouvel Ecosse
De La Fleur v. Ko-oren
Second half - Home/Away swapped

Nation: The Holy Empire
Rank: 4
Expected style: Attacking. Nothing else.
Previous cycle: Round of 16, World Cup 64. #1 with 15-1-2 in qualification
Stadium: Imperial Hippodrome
Previous game against Ko-oren: The Holy Empire 5–0 Ko-oren (World Cup 64)
Kit colors: Yellow, red, black
Region: The Dreamed Realm
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: ?
Population: ?
Capital: The Imperial City

Name: Iturributa
Rank: 70
Expected style: Slightly attacking
Previous cycle: #5 with 9-4-5 in qualification (WC 64)
Stadium: Old City Stadium (72,000)
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors: Black, white
Region: Rushmore
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Republic
Population: ?
Capital: Iturributa

Nation: Liventia
Rank: 93
Expected style: Attacking
Previous cycle: #6 with 8-2-8 in qualification (WC 64)
Stadium: 4 stadiums
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors: ?
Region: The Heartland
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Republic
Population: ?
Capital: Orean

Nation: San Potato
Rank: 112
Expected style: Extremely attacking
Previous cycle: #7 with 6-3-9 in qualification (WC 64)
Stadium: The Grand Arena (180,000)
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors: ?
Region: Atlantian Oceania
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Monarchy
Population: ?
Capital: Lelotania

Nation: The Sova Empire
Rank: 144
Expected style: Extremely offensive
Previous cycle: #8 with 5-2-11 in qualification (WC 64)
Stadium: Temple Dome
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors: White, red, gold cross
Region: Federation of Free States
Demonym: Sovan
Language: English
Government: Theocratic ...
Population: 1.249+ billion
Capital: New Bethlehem

Nation: Nouvel Ecosse
Rank: 231
Expected style: ?
Previous cycle: Round of 16 @ BoF, 4-0-1 in group phase
Stadium: ?
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors: Blue, white
Region: Astyria
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Republic (loves Walrus)
Population: ?
Capital: Edinburgh

Nation: De La Fleur
Rank: 281
Expected style:
Previous cycle: 2-1-2 in group phase @ BoF
Stadium:
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors:
Region: Coalition of Progressive Empires
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Republic
Population: ?
Capital: ?

Nation: Piddlehinton
Rank: 315
Expected style:
Previous cycle: 1-1-3 in group phase @ BoF
Stadium: ?
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors:
Region: Knare
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Republic
Population: ?
Capital: ?

Nation: Rex Lucian
Rank: N/A
Expected style: ?
Previous cycle: N/A
Stadium: ?
Previous game against Ko-oren: N/A
Kit colors:
Region: Central Pacific Empire
Demonym: ?
Language: ?
Government: Socialist ...
Population: ?
Capital: ?

Predictions
Two empires. At least five republics. Only two nations that share a region. Group 14 of the upcoming World Cup is a mix of many different things, although there are some common factors. Extremes in playing style are one thing: three very attacking teams, and two very defensive teams. Then there is the group of new teams that do not really have a name for themselves yet, let alone a favored playing style (or even a roster, in some cases). Three have competed in the Baptism of Fire, one even made it to the second round. One team has not played an official match yet. Two teams could be called experienced, but still relatively new. And then there are the Holy Empire, Ko-oren, Iturributa and Liventia, nations that have been involved with this tournament for a long time. Or a very, very, very long time, in the case of the Holy Empire.

After last cycle's amazing results for the Greenblues, our national team is now second seed. This has its advantages and disadvantages. One advantage is that teams will hopefully be a little bit intimidated by our 31st place on the world ranking. A disadvantage is that if we don't make it to second place in the group, we are technically under-performing. On the other hand, the gap between us and the Holy Empire (first seed) is smaller than the gap between us and Iturributa (third seed). Let's just say the chance for a positive upset is bigger than the chance for a negative upset (of course, we won't look at the actual figures involved with the ranking).

As we saw in last cycle, and we think this happens again, Ko-oren will forget to score in a few of these games. Even though the team might be better, the seven draws in last cycle tell otherwise. With a very defensive style, it is bound to happen that we score less than we might deserve. But then again, some of these teams are so offensive that they could forget to defend at all. And it would not be the first time Ko-oren wins a game because of one little lucky counterattack.

Now for our predictions: 18 games, and we hope the record will be 12-5-1. Twelve victories, of which ten should be against the lowest ranked five teams of the group, and then two victories against San Potato, Liventia and Iturributa. Then five draws, because the Greenblues are always high up in the tie department. One loss, like last cycle, probably against the Holy Empire on match day two. If things go this way, and things go our way, it could be another fantastic cycle with maybe another World Cup qualification at the end. But first, with one excellent team, two teams of our caliber, two rising stars, and four unknown and new nations, we don't expect our prediction to come close to reality in any way.

[Kandorith]

Journey for Kandorith Begins


By Lisho Yaru

The Kandorese team has prepared itself once again. After a successful previous World Cup campaign, where Kandorith just fell short of reaching the play-offs the team is ready to go for the 65th World Cup. The most successful coach in Kandorese history returns with the team; Xíanjí Hatema, a hero in the eyes of Kandorese football fanatics and general supporters of the national team. He has just been called honorary member of the Kandorese state, for his extensive service for the Kandorese sports sector. Now he will take his title to the field and show what Kandorith is made off.


Kandorith's preparation were two friendly matches against former Kandorese lands; Meisho and Tsching, Kandorith both winning them with relative ease. Head coach Xíanjí ensured Kandorith will press for a flowing and difficult game, to give their opponents "not even an inch" He also claimed his team choice was obvious, with the same team as last World Cup with some mild new training schedules and more team building. "This team is build for success and keep a cool head while gaining this success. I believe fully in this young team and I know, with the experience of the previous World Cup they have grown. They have grown as a team and grown as players." According to Coach Xíanjí.


The fans already put full hope in this team returning, especially fans of the now popularized almost immortalized striker Méng, who surpassed Yatá Hasebé, the previous top scoring striker in the Kandorese national team. With his excellent performance during the previous World Cup, the fans hope to see him live up to his name again, when he was asked if he felt the pressure of success on his shoulders he gave the following answer: "No not really, and nor does the team. It is our passion and our greatest achievement to play for the entire nation. We are representatives of our nation and we do it gladly. We love playing the game, we respect our opponents and we expect the same from them. Yes we are there to represent Kandorith on top level, but we are also there to have fun and play great football. It is all about the game, we relief lots of pressure by playing too, of course we have the pressure of our recent gained game play. Our team has improved a lot, the media has been pressing on that and we shall prove that we have improved."


A glimpse on the training grounds of the Kandorese team show their inform players and the a slight show of tactics and stamina. A team ready for qualifying, absolutely.
An easy road? Never. As much as Kandorith has grown in recent times, the road to qualification will still be a hard one, as unexpected things can always be a bump in the road. We are as confident as the nation that the team can make it true this World Cup, to qualify for the World Cup for the first time in Kandorese sports history. The nation stands behind the team and the Emperor has taken the match days off, to join the fans in the stadium and show the imperial support to the national team. Jiayoú Kanduó! God's speed and glory of all ancestral spirits be with you.

[Commune-PDTv2]

Group 4
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (2)
Mapletish (33)
Maklohi Vai (57)
Free South Califas (72)
Barunia (106)
Mantwenic (192)
German American States (227)
Mizuyuki (267)
TailsPrower (315)
The Glorious Commune (UR)

Several of the scientists watched over the training match orchestrated between the Xylovitus and The Revolutionaries of Muskul'Nuul. On outside observer would probably have described it as 'interesting' as few other words could sum up the frenetic chaos which was occurring. The confused prisoners did not know which way to turn as great bulbous wooden shoot sprung from beneath their feet capturing the ball and all the time they were watched over by the emotionless leviathan rooted on the edge of the six-yard box.

Meanwhile two senior scientists had been graced with the presence of Beta Sigismund. After the defeat of the Communadi rugby team by the touring Villagers, Alpha has passed on the ministry of international sports to his brother. It was less stressful if you had someone else upon which to lay the blame for defeats. Beta glanced over the reams of paper the beaming scientists had presented him but had no interest in actually reading it. After a quick look to the field where a Revolutionary player had found herself flung 8 feet off the ground in a 'tackle' by Xylovitus, Beta looked to the scientists.

"So ... is ... err ... 'it' ready to bring glory to our almighty nation?"
"Certainly Minister Beta. Certainly. Xylovitus is responding well to the training regimen and with each passing hour builds upon his instinctive use of his abilities."
"Good."

Play stopped upon the field as a Revolutionary was knocked unconscious as he challenged a Xylovitus root for aerial possession.

"Will our qualifying group pose any problems? I will certainly find our match against the Califan Federation team interesting given our teams compete within their league ..."
"They will suffer defeat at the hands of the Xylovitus. Yes, they know our humanoid players, but the Xylovitus is infinitely stronger than any team in the CSL."
"... And last years World Cup Finalists? Andossa Se Mitrin Vega?"
"Well, we have tabulated the abilities of all teams within our group and compiled a table of predicted results which should be correct to 99.5%"
"And ... ?"

Group 4
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega    - Home Win - Away Draw
Mapletish                 - Home Win - Away Win
Maklohi Vai               - Home Win - Away Win
Free South Califas        - Home Win - Away Win
Barunia                   - Home Win - Away Win
Mantwenic                 - Home Win - Away Win
German American States    - Home Win - Away Win
Mizuyuki                  - Home Win - Away Win
TailsPrower               - Home Win - Away Win

52pts out of 54pts expected

Beta looked skeptically at the sheet the scientists presented to him.

"We don't expect to beat the Vegans on their home soil?"
"Well, Minister Beta, as I explained, there is a 0.5% margin of error ... "
"Hmmm ... "
"According to our research, there is a 78.9482% chance that we will win the World Cup itself."
"That's still a 21.0518% chance we will not win."

The scientists looked nervously at each other as Beta again perused the sheet of predictions. In the background, the Xylovitus had just moved 4-0 ahead. The Revolutionaries goalkeeper failing to save the low shot on account of a small thicket of stinging nettles sprouting up into his face mid-dive. Beta smiled to himself as the prisoner's keeper screamed in agony before turning back to the scientists.

"I hope for your sake these predictions are correct. Gentlemen, for the Glory of the Commune."
"For the Glory of the Commune!"

Beta and the scientists raised a glass of quality sparkling wine together to toast their future success. Meanwhile, the referee had persuaded the injured prisoner's keeper to continue with a swift kick to the ribs.

[Neu Engollon]

Ludenthal, Glarus Ctn., Neu Engollon 17 June 2013

Hello! Um, my name is Manfred Roldbech, and I am 11 years old. I'm in the 5th level, or 2nd year of E2, depending on what part of the country you come from. I was going to start out saying 'Dear Diary' but that's girl-y, accorzu? I've never written like this before. Well, stuff in school like "What I did over the Summer", or "How my family celebrates the Holidays", but not a diary. Journal. It's a journal.
Dad got me this journal because he says it will be important and I will want to look back and remember our trip. Tommorrow we will be getting on a plane to Khytenna, which I don't know much about. I have never left the Confederacy before, and barely been outside of Glarus canton. So, yeah, I'm pretty excited. Dad's new job is with the NEFA, the Neu Engollon Football Association, so we're going to travel along with the team to all the matches. He doesn't do anything cool for them, just some boring paperwork stuff. I don't know how he got this chance for us to go around with the Goats because he's not a coach or something, but I really am glad it happened. I don't know any of the players 'cept for Erich Siebech, everyone knows him, and Johann Hausenbech, because he's from here, or I think he just plays for Ludenthal. Whatever. Siebech isn't even going to play for a Neu Engollian team next year. What a rip.

I think even if Dad didn't work for NEFA, he would try to go to Neu Engollon's first World Cup, at least a couple home games. 'Cept he never really has money for that. Until now, I guess. He's the biggest sports fan in the world and has NETV 7 Sports on ALL - THE - TIME. Mostly he watches rugby, but that may be because that's the biggest sport in the Confederacy. He likes all sports. Doesn't matter. He'll watch women's bowling.
He lives, eats, breathes, and makes sports merd! Ha! I can swear in here. Cozzfick! Schiesser! He swears a lot when he watches games. I learned the best ones from my Dad. Especially with the Hockey world cup. We didn't do so good. So, yeah, my dad is a sports nut. My Mom says it's a big part of the reason they got divorced.

When he told her he was taking me on these trips, she shouted a lot, then cried, then got sarcastic about how he would afford it all. It was all on NEFA he told her. Then he explained that he wouldn't be paying her this month because I would be with him for most of the month anyway. And that she needed to get a better job to get all the crazy stuff that she shouldn't buy instead of wasting alluh-money meant for me. Alluh-money is support money divorced Dads pay. Then it just got more messy and I turned my NIN 5000 up louder. I'm going to beat level 34 on Ninja Kitty Warrior. I will get to rub it in Conrad's face. Well, not until 6th level starts after the summer. I might be up to level 37 by then. Then he will probably beat me up at recess. Maybe I'll keep it to myself. I really hate Conrad.

Anyway, so I'm packing up my stuff tonight. Dad comes back to pick me up at 10 AM in the morning. Then we're off to the airport. We fly to Burgunden, then take another plane out of the Confederacy to Khytenna. I've never been on a plane before, except when I was really little and I don't remember. I feel like it could be neat, but I hear that your ears can hurt. I cry a lot when I have earaches. Or I used to I think. I'm too big for that, now.

I will try to write in here as much as possible with all the stuff about who scores goals and gets cards 'n stuff and all the different people. I like looking at foreign people. I once looked at this Trellinese guy at a Attico's Drinkerie restaurant through a whole meal. I could tell he didn't like it. He asked to move tables and then I couldn't see him from where I sat anymore, so then I kept going to the bathroom because his table was right near there. Then he whispered that he'd cut me and I had an accident in my pants. Nevermind, I don't want to remember that.
Oh, I gotta go. It's my last dinner with Mom for a while. I hope she made somethin' good. She's been crying a lot, so maybe not. I will try to write the schedule for the matches, but Dad has it, so I'll get it in here tomorrow.
So long for now!
Manny.

Oh. Also, I will be trying to spell a bunch of different country names and stuff. I will do my best. Dad says there will be programs, so that will help.

[Paradystopia]

Whirled Cup

The ten-minute micro-show providing a fun look at the sixty-fifth world cup! Please welcome your hosts, renowned Paradystopi sportscaster, James Wong and that funny Lymryker, Yapper Stinkypaws.

JW: Heys Guys, How is everyone?
YS: Sk'ǽ gō! Let's hear it for football. Woo!
JW: Wow. Great to be here in our custom mini-studio just outside the Khollozium in Sabrjk and just a few days away from the beginning of the qualification phase but before we begin, I have to ask, Yapper ...
YS: Yup?
JW: ... are you any relation to the Lymryker football captain, Hooktooth Stinkypaws?
YS: Ha. Yeah, I get that a lot. Sadly, no. It's a common name in the PLI.
JW: Stinkypaws? Really? Why?
YS: It dates back to our ancestors who would mark their territory with their faeces. If you had stinky paws, you obviously had a large territory to look after and a lotta shit to spread.
JW: ... Okay ... moving swiftly onwards ...
YS: Well, you asked.
JW: I know, and I now regret that decision. Anyway, Paradystopia, Group 15. A difficult group?
YS: Why ask me? I was only hired for this gig because I get paid in fish.
JW: Right ... So what do you know about football?
YS: You play with your feet?
JW: Yes, and ... ?
YS: That's 'bout it.
JW: ... Fine. Well the top seed are Gyatso-kai. A strong team with a good history in the world cup, followed by plucky up-and-comers Svengarda. Third seed are Carpathia and Ruthenia ...
YS: I've heard of them.
JW: Carpathia and Ruthenia?
YS: Yeah, you were disappointed when they beat Paradystopia in the last World Cup qualifying. Oh, I watched that video on a loop on the internet. You know. The one where you thought you were off camera and were saying 'Fucking Carpathians, Fucking Ruthenians. What game was the fucking referee watching. For the love of Margaret!'. You know the one. It was all over Vidtube. So funny dude. Oh! Is this why you're doing this show and not the official coverage on PUTV-one?
JW: ...
YS: ... It so is ... Isn't it? ...
JW: ... Paradystopia are the fourth seeds in the group and some good results over these higher ranked teams, they have an outside shot at a playoff match. Beneath Paradystopia, there is the badgers of Yelvoldia. Hey Yapper? Are Badgers anything like Otters?
YS: Whoa James. That is so racist ... You can't say that!
JW: What? Oh Blimey, I'm sorry Yapper ...
YS: N'ah, just kidding. Haha, the look on your face. Priceless ...
JW: ... I can see why no-one wants to work with you ...
YS: Badgers are cool. Check out their hair! It's like Emo-punk!
JW: What the heck is emo-punk? I mean, the other group teams are United Kingdoms of Zackalantis, Ethington, Speranda, Soviet New Ireland and An Enigmatic Nation. All of whom the Paradystopi team will be hoping to defeat. I'd hope that the Paradystopi team can at least finish 3rd in the group and challenge for 2nd.
YS: I agree.
JW: You don't know anything about football ...
YS: Yeah, but you do, for maybe agreeing will make me look smart.
JW: I severely doubt that. Anyway, we just have time for our mini-competition. 'Find a name for the Paradystopi team.' Yes, we don't have a name for the national squad so we asked everyone to send in your suggestions and we'll draw them out of this hat and see if any sound decent. Yapper, after you.
YS: Ok. Got one. 'The Awesomes' ...
JW: ... Not the most imaginative and although I like the sentiment, it's not very catchy. Let's see ... 'kiss my ass Wong' ... Oh c'mon! Isn't someone vetting these or are you just chucking any old crap in here?
YS: I don't think that would work as a nickname. Too specifically about you.
JW: Very funny Yapper ...
YS: Ok ... 'The Pinky Penguins' ... nice.
JW: Is that serious?
YS: Black, White and Pink. I see the connection.
JW: Oh yeah, suppose so. Next one. 'The ...' ... Oh c'mon people! Really?! I cannot say that on television!
YS: It's not stopped you before. Is it that bad? Isn't that something like a fighter, they use their fists, but what's an ...
JW: Just stop. Now ...
Ys: 'k
JW: I think that's enough for today. See you next time Paradystopia.
YS: See ya.

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

World Cup Group Preview

18th June 12013

---

Montbenoit, SAUGEAIS---- It's that time of year again folks, and as the Syndicate steps up to another World Cup, we see where they have been drawn for the qualifying stages. Below are the teams in Group 20, in the order we'll play them, and a brief overview of what to possibly expect!

Brenecia Rank: 267
Brenecia declared independence from neighbours New Sideburn, and are here to show the world how they properly play football. After a brief yet marginally sucessful stint in the Baptism of Fire, Brenecia are sure to try and trip us up on our first game of the World Cup 65. However, we have the home advantage, and are considered the better team, but as we've all learned, cockiness gets you nowhere. Expect a decent match that should have an interesting result!

Tantamir Rank: 293
Now, I don't know much about this Holy Empire of Tantamir, but they aren't like any Holy Empire I've ever seen before. We'll play them away for our second qualifying game, and if we can pull off a victory there, we should be in a strong position to win at home on the flipside.

Bears Armed Rank: 10
The Bear-Belles are back to face the Syndicate, first playing us at home, and both games will either end in down-to-the-wire wins, or dominance overall. The Bears have a very strong side representing them, one that I feel we might not fare to well against. Still, that won't stop the side from trying their hardest, I'm sure!

Equestrian States Rank: 29
From Bears at home to Ponies away, the Equestrian States are sure to give us a hard time in our fourth match. The last time the two countries faced off was in the 26th DI Bradini Cup, in which we lost the third place play-off to finish fouth. The National Team may be out on the warpath on behalf of our kids, and if we fight for it, we could pull of an impressive victory.

Omarios Rank: UR
Omarios are a team that, quite frankly, the Syndicate is expected to beat. In our first game against them, we'll be facing them at home, and that advantage coupled with the fact that they remain unranked tips the scales in our favour. Away, however, we might not have that sheer advantage... (We probably will)

Islands of Qutar Rank: 98
The Islands of Quatar will be a formidable side to play against, but should hopefully be beatable, even away. This once great side has come tumbling down in recent cups, but that won't stop them from putting up a decent fight.

Carmadin Rank: 102
Another nation hoping to return to the spotlight, the Rushmori nation of Camardin will be giving us a run for our money when we face them away. With a little luck, we could pull off a victory, and hopefully hold on to a high spot in the group by this point.

Sudagiu Rank: 204
After a decent stint in the BoF, Sudagiu may pose a threat if the Syndicate haven't gained much steam over the World Cup Campaign. The nation could throw the national team a curveball, and be a dark horse in the race to the top. Only time will tell...

Free Republics Rank: 267
The Free Republics, runers up of the latest DBC, will be facing us last, just before the break into the second half of qualifying. By then, we'll hopefully be within the top three, and could pull of a victory to truly secure that place in the group, ready to go back and face everyone again. Expect two wins out of these guys, and be very disappointed when it inevitably doesn't happen.

And that's it! Here's hoping the team get off to a strong start, overcome some tough opponents in the middle, and move from strength to strength! If we can beat Audioslavia in the AOCAF, then we can take the world on!

Freddie Johnson
ILN Sports

[Darmen]

The office of the Prime Minister, a dark green room, covered with paintings of past Chief Magistrates and Prime Ministers. Of course, only one Prime Minister even had a less than good reputation, the first two being forced to resign and have their parties bad. Politics at its finest, voter fraud.

General Roberts had been in this room may times before, running errands for the Prime Minister and relaying communications between the various Ministries. But now he was here for a different reason.

Unlike General Roberts, Georges Thomas had never been in the office of the Prime Minister before. He was good friends with the Prime Minister though, and as he sat wondering why he hadn't previously been invited for a tour, he stared into the fireplace. Three logs were burning, flames dancing around them. The sight was quite mesmerizing, and just as Thomas was beginning to be pulled into a trance, the flames turned green. Before Thomas could register what was happening, the Prime Minister himself erupted from the flames and strode casually into the room.

"Holy Margaret!" exclaimed Thomas, jumping out of his seat.

"Oh, sorry Georges. Didn't mean to scare yah, just returning from the Ministry of Magic via the Floo Network."

"The... the wha... the what?" asked Thomas.

"Oh, you'll get used to things around here," said the Prime Minister, as he slid behind his desk. "Now as you are already well aware, we're all members of the Second Communist Group, and elections are approaching in September. Both of you are running for seats in Parliament, and you're both running in safe Second Communist constituencies.

Both General Roberts and Thomas nodded in agreement.

"Now, since it looks like we'll easily get a majority, or be short by just a few seats, I'm already working on putting together my Government. Roberts, I want you to be Minister of Royal Affairs. I need someone to keep an eye on this new Duke of ours. He's a pesky little fellow, and I can't tell you how much I'd like to give his son a chance at helping to rule our fine nation. You up for it?"

"Of course I am," came General Roberts reply.

"And Mr. Thomas. Ministry of Sport is the obvious position for you. You want it, right?"

"Of course I do, I couldn't think of a better job."

"Now that just leaves me to find a new Minister of Magic. Shouldn't be too hard, I just don't want to have to select someone who might become a little crazy, those wizard and witch employees down there can get a little spell happy. By the way Thomas, I assume you'd like to have a tour of the Ministry of Sport some time?"

"Already been there a few times as President of the DSF, but I guess a tour wouldn't hurt."

"Alright, I'll set one up." The Prime Minister stood up, and shook the other two men's hands. Thomas turned to leave the room, opting for the door, while General Roberts stepped into the fire. His yells and curses could be heard from down the hallway. Thomas rushed back into the Prime Minister's office.

"Forgot to take some Floo powder," said Roberts, as he rolled along the floor, and the Prime Minister smothered the flames with a rug.

[Kalumba]

The Herald
Sport Today
Report by Bruce Mtwetwe

That's right folks it is World Cup time once again and the Kudus begin the journey to try and qualify from what looks to be a difficult Group 19. The Group appears as such:

Group 19
Vilita (16)
Kinitaria (44)
Mashiki (46)
Slembana (76)
Shadowbourne (108)
Kalumba (143)
Torisakia (211)
Lahoa (293)
Arkolon (339)
Kizzyboi (UR)

With Kalumba ranked sixth in the group it is hard to see any hope of qualifying, but the last WC campaign will give the squad hope as opponents like The Slyvannaes Queendom were overcome at Kahali National Stadium and we managed to pick up a number of wins on the road. The Kudu's are now ranked 143rd in the world, compared to our unranked status during the previous World Cup qualiying campaign, so will be expecting a few more victories from the last time out.

However the lads face some major challenges ahead with teams like Vilitia, Kinitaria and Mashiki lying ahead. All of these sides are currently ranked within the top fifty sides in the world and Kalumba's best hope is to snatch a few away draws and maybe a cheeky home win against one of these sides would secure Kalumba a mid-table position and hopefully a better chance of qualification next time around.

Manager George Davies had this to say about the tournament: "We are quite satisfied with the draw if I am being honest, we face three of the top fifty sides in the world, but the only way we are going to improve is by facing these teams and learning from them. Other than those three we have the strong looking Slembana and Shadowbourne ahead of us and we would hope to take at least four points from our four matches with them.

Beneath us we Torisakia who could be a banana skin and we musn't be over-confident against them, behind them lie Lahoa, Arkolon and Kizzyboi against whom I would like at least four wins and anything less would frankly be an embarrassment. Overall from the tournament I would like to achieve eight wins and hopefully a mid-table finish."

When asked about the new kit Davies declined to comment. There has been much furore over the new kit, which appears to be a direct copy of the pre-independence flag and many have protested that it carries racist connotations and should be replaced. The sports ministry has denied this and say it is a radical new design for the rebranded team, an attempt to move away from the 'Tortoises' nickname for the previous dour, defensive displays offered in our first few international tournaments and towards the new 'Kudus' nickname and hopefully a more exciting young side.

[Equestrian States]

On Species and Equestrian Hoofball
by Dr. Bookmark, Professor of Sports Studies at Canterlot University

The Equestrian States is a nation of incredible diversity. When many countries make this kind of statement, they are referring only to racial matters dealing with differences in skin color or culture. But the Equestrian States takes diversity to a whole new level, with dozens of sapient species living alongside each other in harmony. From pegasai to griffons, and humans to dragons, the Equestrian States is among the most diverse nations known to exist. But diversity has also had a unique and intriguing impact on the playing of sports in the Equestrian States, and hoofball is no exception. In the following paragraphs, the natural strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies of each prominent species in the Equestrian States will be explored, offering those unfamiliar with the Equestrian States a chance to explore the wonderful diversity that makes the Equestrian States a great country and gives our beloved national hoofball team a versatility that few others can hope to match.

Although the Equestrians are very diverse, there is still a clear majority in the population. The three major species of sapient ponies combine to make up roughly 85% of the Equestrian population, and were the first to call the nation home when colonization of the mainland began over a millennium ago. In general, ponies are around a foot and half shorter than the average human when on all four hooves. However, sapient ponies on the hoofball pitch can negate this disadvantage by rearing up on their back hooves or leaping into the air. The Hoofball Association (HA) officially prohibits four-legged beings from using their two front hooves/paws/claws/hands when standing upright to prevent an unfair advantage from putting the integrity of the game in doubt. In addition to a natural ability to leap higher than the average human, ponies can also run faster than and have endurance superior to that of humans, giving them a considerable advantage on the ground. Finally, it should be noted that all species of sapient ponies are capable of lifting, catching, and/or using objects with their hooves thanks to their magical nature. But there each species of sapient equines have unique traits that translate to advantages and disadvantages on the pitch.

While not the most common type of sapient pony, there are more pegasai in the United League than any other species, and logically this plurality is reflected in the national team as well. The distinguishing feature of pegasai is, of course, their wings and ability to fly. Though the HA bans pegasai athletes from flying for extended periods of time, it is not uncommon or illegal for a pegasus to use his or her wings to provide a boost of speed while running or to pick up another foot while leaping for a header. These two abilities make pegasai ideal forwards, midfielders, and goalkeepers. In regards to personality, pegasai are generally more willing to take risks than other pony species, particularly when the potential reward is great. This can sometimes result in costly turnovers on the pitch, but training has largely eliminated such extreme risks on the national team.

Making up the largest percentage of any species in the Equestrian States, earth ponies are almost as common in the United League as pegasai. Though not immediately obvious to non-equines, earth ponies are generally heavier and more muscular than other species of ponies, and have historically taken on the role of farmers in Equestrian society. With more physical strength, earth ponies are commonly seen in the midfielder and defender positions to take advantage of their ability to muscle larger players off the ball and make some of the strongest and most accurate kicks around. Like pegasai, earth ponies sometimes take risks (though to a lesser extent than their winged cousins) in exchange for a chance at a goal.

Though their representation in the United League falls short of their share of the general population, unicorns offer a slightly different set of skills from those of pegasai and earth ponies, and are valued members of whatever teams they play for. On average, unicorns tend to be more thoughtful rather than impulsive, and the tactical geniuses on hoofball clubs. While their horns can sometimes get in the way of a perfect header, unicorns excel at being quick and graceful and tend to be seen most often in midfield roles, directing the attack from the rear. Unicorns are also slimmer than both pegasai and earth ponies and less muscular, meaning that those who choose to be hoofballers generally don't play rough or physically. Rather, unicorns tend to be the more stylistic members of the team when it comes to avoiding tackles or connecting a pass.

Aside from pegasai, earth ponies, and unicorns, there are also several lesser-known minority species of sapient ponies. Bat ponies are similar to pegasai in many ways, though bat-like wings replace the feathered ones of the traditional pegasai. In addition to the differences in wings, bat ponies tend to have less than stellar vision in daylight, are slimmer and furrier than other ponies, and tend to dart when running rather than maintain a regular cadence. Zebras are like unicorns (minus the horn) in many ways, having a similar playing style and body type. However, Zebras are sometimes considered even more stylistic than their distant relatives, weaving their way skillfully between opponents to break into the open. Finally, buffalo (though not a sapient equine species) are very similar to earth ponies, but tend to be more physical and aren't afraid to make the hard tackles sometimes required to dislodge the ball.

Ponies might be the most common species in the Equestrian States, but there are still many other sapient beings who call the nation home. One of the most common non-equine species are the griffons. Half-lion and half-eagle, griffons are incredibly fierce and can be aggressive or even hostile to opponents on the hoofball pitch. These traits often get the griffon players in the United League plenty of yellow and red cards, and also result in their primary position being on the defensive side of the field. Like pegasai, griffons are forbidden from using their wings for extended periods of time. It should also be noted that griffons are considerably larger than their equine teammates, and are more than capable of battling (and usually overwhelming) even the strongest humans for the ball.

Along with griffons, dragons are relatively common (as non-equines go) in the Equestrian States as a whole. However, dragon societies often are located in the more mountainous or volcanic regions and rarely interact with the rest of society. Thus, relatively few dragons play hoofball professionally, calling the sport unworthy of their time. Those dragons that do play in the United League (and in the case of Ironhide, in Sunrise League One) are formidable at any position, possessing superior physical size and strength to every other player on the field. This tends to make the dragon athletes a bit cocky, but when you're over a foot taller than the other players on the field it's hard not to be. Like griffons, dragons are very aggressive, and angering one is unwise of any player facing one on the pitch.

And last, but not least (unless you ask a griffon), there are some humans who live and play in the Equestrian States. In general, humans from the Equestrian States are basically the same as those that inhabit almost every other nation out there. While they might put a greater emphasis on endurance and speed than they would elsewhere, those humans which call the nation home are fairly standard in their playing style. They also tend to be a bit odd, calling the sport of hoofball 'soccer' instead of its more traditional Equestrian name.

---

OOC: The above is something which I wrote with the intention of including in my roster this cycle. Unfortunately, with the article included, my roster exceeds the 60,000 character limit for posts. Thus, I'm posting this here and linking to it in my roster so that all this writing doesn't go to waste.

Edit: Fixed a few inaccuracies. (Oct. 28, 2013)

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

DE PLACA
This paper would like to say that maybe you should learn more.

WORLD CUP 65
Vaporeons up for the challenge, the World Cup 65 qualifiers

Unlike last qualifier runs, for the first time ever, the NSIFC is officially funding the national team's trips. For those who don't know, the national team had to play some friendlies in order to guarantee enough funding to pay the expenses of the national team, in order for the Football Confederation to be able to establish a working domestic football pyramid. Last season, while obtaining the sponsoring of beer brand Drahma and private airline Sapatos Airlines, the team still had to run some friendlies to generate enough fund for special treatment during the qualifiers. This, however, never affected the Cup of Harmony participations, those being funded by the NSIFC.

No changes from the team that fell in the quarter-finals to Slembana in the Campionato Esportiva, aside from the fact that some of the players changed teams, but nothing really big. The main team did not play a friendly, though, as the NSIFC thought that sending a Pokemon-filled team would play the Vaporeons-Platypus Trophy match, which they lost to Apox, 2-0. Instead, the team focused on training at Jaunepont, Arrendine Island, waiting for their matches.

The group outself gives a decent portion of challenge as NSI's biggest challenges should be New Montreal States and Farfadillis, while Lymantatia gives a decent challenge, while teams like Timfen, Kriegiersien, German-Spanish Empire, Hontaýpýar, Colland and New Lowerlands complete the Group 11 of the Qualifiers.

OTHER NEWS
> Vulpine Sportif is looking for new clients on teams that aren't already sponsored by other companies
> Sakamura: I think I deserve some attention from Bourbon and her folks
> Charmed Ridge and Felinia finally solved their problems
> Sioux Kitsunes leading the Ligue Nationale's debut season

[Zwangzug]

The Spenson Star
Five for fighting?

One hundred thirty-two, as you might know, breaks down as 2^7 + 2^2. This is mostly important in the context of counting on one's fingers, when one person's binary decomposition can be another person's extremely vulgar gesture; this has incited plenty of misunderstandings in the eastern FTC.

One hundred thirty-two is also the seeding of Zwangzug's national football team as it is drawn into the fifth group for World Cup 65 qualification. Qualification itself is not seriously mentioned in camp--at least to me--but the potential for meaningful matches is plenty high. Among team Zwangzug's potential opponents comes an unusual weight of history, in everything from grudge matches to border insecurity to science fiction to public transport to rodents.

So here's a quick guide to the changes and outlook for Zwangzug, before they're overwhelmed by the affairs of perhaps more deserving sides.

Canbix ascendant. The Muses, having deigned to actually win the league outright rather than provoke bustling about tiebreakers, are the only side to contribute two starters. Brett Chrowder remains captain (though see below), and Patricia Eliot will be hoping that these opponents provide a less provocative crowd than Saintland were. [Or maybe she won't be. -ed]

...that's a scary thought. All right. Sara Hale-Barnard remains on the bench, despite an opening at right-back with Penny Consky-Bock being cut. Which leads onto...

The gender thing. That awkward moment when your four starting defenders all happen to be men, and the backups all happen to be women. Having Vipin Lamin crack the starting eleven ahead of Hale-Barnard is certainly something we can second-guess, now or if it doesn't work out--does his Namiri Forest really train individually good defenders, or do they blank opponents by sheer numbers at the back? On the other hand, Canbix still aren't that much better than anyone else, and Bridget Scroves is hardly the first person to accuse of bias.

More new faces in the middle... Oh, look, it's our third starting central midfielder in as many tournaments. But is it too much pressure to say that if anyone can make the center-of-the-X role work, it's Davi Keane-Liuprand? His Ephesian FC, after all, have inherited far more than the X setup from the absurd heyday of the old national team. This team Zwangzug will take more of a defensive role, however, and Keane-Liuprand might be called upon to finish some of his shots himself.

This means that Ted Silla-Raty is back on the defensive side of things, and Joan Gerland moves up to the attacking midfield. Joining the bench is yet another young face from the capital. [Technically he's from the suburbs. -ed] Yes, all right, Rudolf Sternberg might seee a little action, again on defensive midfield if the need requires.

...and up front, kind of... Okay, we've swapped strikers yet again. Except we don't really have enough to rotate in anyone new, so Yuuki Nakano returns to the starting lineup. Rather than being based out of Eintracht Trink, now somewhat discordant after another rough season, he's transferred to the "Invincibles" of Juvapanam, champions of The Pazhujeb Islands. Yes, the ones we visit for their home opener. Should be a good time.

...although not in goal, really. What more can be said? Unlike the three-and-done Cup of Harmony, this will be a much longer qualifying stage. Zwangzug will be desperately hoping Joshua Farthing can take advantage of that to get his bearings and continue shutting down opponents, especially later in the cycle. Moving right along.

Where are ya? There'd been speculation that Zwangzug might branch out more of its home games rather than keeping them all at Wayr Stadium. However, there's been no confirmation as of yet. Those teams that have to visit us in the second half might find their itineraries rudely adjusted at the last minute, although, let's be fair, almost any of our other stadiums are going to be a lot easier to get to by train. May I immodestly suggest our own Stelladome? How about the capital, now that its club plays like it almost knows what it's doing? How about the FTC again? [How about they don't and avoid all the headaches of trying to keep things balanced. -ed]

Okay, you're probably right on that one.

There's always the flashbacks. Maybe we can start writing biographies of some of the old team? Zwangzug made its debut in World Cup 33 and [There may literally have never been a time when people cared less. -ed]

The heart of the matter. Scroves and Chrowder should complement each other well. Both committed to defense. Scroves doesn't really have any club ties; Chrowder is a member of the champions, but given the Y chromosome and paucity of bookings, not the most representative one. And certainly they get along with each other well enough to survive the qualifiers without incident.

So where's the problem?

Chrowder is smart enough to know how far the odds are stacked against Zwangzug, and yet he knows that they've gone from nothing to above-the-median in rank in just one cycle. (Although, if we incorporate predecessor states, Zwangzug are still below the group median for team history, and that's including the old team.) Chrowder, let's be clear, is a competitor. And the nature of competition is that, in order to stand a chance, you'd just as soon meet your rivals when they're slumping.

Scroves? For all that Zwangzug has a genuine football fandom that's seemingly here to stay (and we should never, ever take this for granted), it's still one that's rather...unperturbed. None of this promotion or relegation business to keep fans paranoid. And, realistically, nobody calling for her head (literally or figuratively), win or lose.

Given that, and the potential incandescence of the rest of Group Five if they're on form, she might well be hoping for the rest of the group to bring their A-game. We know we can hang with Krytenia and the rest of the world; why not push them and see if they can raise our game, too?

For my money, I'm with the coach here. As Zwangzug's quick leap has shown, by the end of an exhausting eighteen-game campaign, the ranks might not be the best way to evaluate these teams. If--and only if--the rest of the group shows us what they're made of, we can have a memorable campaign regardless of the results. If things fizzle out, well, 1,620 minutes are a long slog.

The gauntlet has been thrown down. It's time for Group Five--past, present, and future--to rise to the challenge.

[The Sova Empire]

"Name."

"Jade Bird, sir."

"Height?"

"5 feet, 5 inches."

"Really? That short, and you've applied to be a goaltender?"

"I believe a 5.0 GPA and great acrobatic skills qualify me enough to be a fine goaltender."

"OK, show us what you got."

A tall, heavyset guy was going through applications for the Sovan squad for the upcoming World Cup. He had seen a few really good shots (namely, Aubrey Rosenberg and Blake Leggett, who had aced the written and athletic tests that were provided), and he had seen some bad. He had seen some filthy bad goaltenders, and had hoped that this applicant showed an improvement. Although he had little faith in the skinny, blonde, and very short girl that stepped into the goalie's box.

"Alrighty then, we are going to shoot 20 balls in your direction at 1 per 10 seconds. Good Luck."

*BUZZ*

And then the most remarkable thing that he had ever seen occurred. With huge leaps and snappy dives, one by one the blocked balls littered the front of the goal. None made it past the line.

"Thank you Ms. Bird, we will be keeping in contact. Nice job."

"Thanks."

1 month earlier

The political unrest in Southern TSE was at unprecedented levels. No matter what it was, the people of the South had polar opposite opinions. There was one thing that they could agree on, and it was that a bloody (un)civil war was pointless, especially since the Sovan military was and still is massive. So Executive Pastor Greg Sova made a proposal. If you can win on the soccer field, then you may be dissolved from TSE. The South Sova squad entered with confidence. After all, TSE used the same team that went 0-1-2 in the Cup of Harmony. The same team that only managed 5-2-11 in the World Cup. With an aggressive game, the victory would be theirs. And indeed it was. CD gave up 4 goals and MB only broke out for 2 goals. With a final of 4-2, The Sovan Antithesis was born. TSE was furious, and it was made known that the team would rest for WC65 and would undergo reform to fix the team. Applicants now were being accepted for a new team.

Present time

"Name."

"Miles Gagnon"

The heavyset man instantly snapped and looked at the newest applicant. Miles responded with the heaviest British accent ever.

"Position?"

"I think I'll go with the D."

Miles was smiling, and the big guy at the counted simply chuckled at his innocence.

"Defense it is. Any outside clubs, groups, etc.?"

"Margret Bashers"

"That seems to be a popular group. Out of curiosity, what is this group?"

"Oh, we just regular chaps out of the city slums and all that. Lots of foreigners have been praying to this Margret fellow, and we don't like it. So we are training in soccer and are hoping to make a difference."

"Ahh, I see. You will be ready as soon as you complete your physical and your tests."

"Thank you, sir."

Hopefully, the team would be ready as well. With 20 confirmed members, the World Cup would commence. Their schedule is as follows:

1. @San Potato (112)
Expected result: Draw
2. @Rex Lucian (UR)
Expected result: Win
3. Nouvel Ecosse (231)
Expected result: Win
4. @De La Fleur (281)
Expected result: Win
5. Piddlehinton (315)
Expected result: Win
6. @The holy empire (4)
Expected result: Loss
7. Ko-oren (31)
Expected result: Loss
8. @Iturributa (70)
Expected result: Draw
9. Liventia (93)
Expected result: Loss
10. San Potato (112)
Expected result: Win
11. Rex Lucian (UR)
Expected result: Win
12. @Nouvel Ecosse (231)
Expected result: Draw
13. De La Fleur (281)
Expected result: Win
14. @Piddlehinton (315)
Expected result: Win
15. The Holy Empire (4)
Expected result: Loss
16. @Ko-oren (31)
Expected result: Loss
17. Iturributa (70)
Expected result: Loss
18. @Liventia (93)
Expected result: Loss

Expected overall result: 8-3-7, 5th in the group

[Branta Island]

Edoardo Gaspari's Online Journal
May 1st, 2029

I'm writing this from my hospital bed at the Leggio National Hospital, where this has been a week I'd rather like to forget. Last month on the 25th, I had a meeting with my staff and FA board, discussing a wide range of topics from national team selection, domestic league progress, and funding for the proposed expansion of the Stadio della Costa. Halfway through the meeting, I felt a sharp pain in my upper chest and shortness of breath followed. I gripped my chest while my assistants next to me asked if I was ok. I told them no and to please call an ambulance. After that, I was told I collapsed on the table still clutching my chest, as the rest of the room scrambled to get my medical help.

After 5 hours of emergency surgery, the kind doctors at the hospital finished up their double bypass procedure and sent my back into the ICU, where I am currently. The doctor who performed the surgery suggested that I refrain from any strenuous activity for a while, ie working out, house chores, and especially managing the national team. He gave a chuckle after that last bit, but I had no strength to laugh. That means that I have to designate an interim manager while I'm laid up here, maybe even through the first half of the qualifying stage.

But if that wasn't bad enough, just yesterday I received word that my son, Francesco, was in a serious car accident, as he and a friend were driving along the southern coast. You've probably seen the news on this already, but some drunken idiot swerved into oncoming traffic, right at Francesco. He avoided the head-on collision, but in doing so he hit the car next him, and both cars slammed into the rock wall bordering the road. Francesco broke a few ribs, his left forearm, and left shin, and his friend was also received several broken bones. He's on the floor above me right now, and I expect he'll be out of there before me.

Don't fret thought, Brantolano fans. I've overseen most of the training and I can guarantee the squad is in tip-top shape. Orsino Rocca and Aureliano Sebastiani are looking fine in practice, and I fully expect the duo to score a lot of goals. I can only hope those goals will lead to wins, maybe even an outside shot at the playoffs.

But with that, I need to rest. Just keeping the faith, and the faithful followers updated.

[Felix]

World Cup LXV Qualifiers: Rule Theriault To Sue The National?

By: Steven Smith

It hasn't been the first day of matches around the world in the World Cup qualifiers and we already have drama in Felix. No it isn't some player getting in trouble with fans on the other team, no it isn't some team crippling injury, no, not even a fan stampede. No its the Free Republics and they're back to their usual crap. In the latest issue of Sporting World (as is those pompous Republicans give a damn about the world) Mr. Rule Theriault made a ultimatum, if I and The National do not appogize to him and his lover, he will sue us and the tabloid for every penny we are worth.

Yes, you heard it right the almost 200 year old (founded in 1812) The National, has been called a tabloid. Yes, disgusting tabloid (no offense The Perk). Funny how to minds think alike, both Theriault and Hellstrom are ignorant and might I add dumb. They don't care for other nations nor do they care about their history. He believes that this a tabloid that all we do is spread rumours, he is wrong. And besides, I have seen better reporting from The Perk than Ms. Hellstrom. Seriously, those gossip people could give me more information on a Free Republican match than that dimwited Hellstrom. At least they don't get drunk while on the job.

Now lets go to the part about the suing, not only does Mr. Theriault blab out that The National is a tabloid, he has the urge to sue us. Funny, I guess he doesn't know that the newspaper is worth roughly 2 billion NSD and he can't sue the newspaper. Why? Because in Felixan law, you cannot sue a newspaper unless you lived in Felix for a year or have enough proof (which he obviously doesn't) to prove that the suing is worthy. So his ultimatum is worth squat. Maybe he should stick to coaching his tasteless and boring team before getting into legal matters.

Anyways, enough of that useless negativity. Let's talk about something fun, amazing even. I was recently promoted to a spot in the Esportivan Lonely Multiverse, yes the Lonely Multiverse. Now I can report (unlike some people) about sports and give you, the reader wonderful information about this beuatiful land of ours. I wil start adding those articles to our daily report in the World Cup qualifiers starting after the first match against Alexanderburn. I will start with a introduction then I will add more information, from sites to see to places where you can eat. So prepare to be amazed by Felix, good luck to national team and I will be writing next week. Ciao.

[Super-Llamaland]

Scrimmages Two and Three passed by quickly. Johnny scored a total of two goals in 4-3 and 1-0 wins. And then, the board was posted.

GAME ONE LINEUP: STRIKERS

E Powell (L Alcanatra)
B Crosby (J Rushmore)

Johnny stared at the board for a good five minutes until Eric Matthews walked by.
"Hey, Johnny."
"Hi." Rushmore said, without removing his eyes.
"Well what did you think would happen? You over Crosby?"
"No...I guess. I wonder what I'll do now."
"What?"
"I'm not good enough to start. I guess I'll go back to League Two or something..."
"Huh?" League Two was not the Premier Llama League. It was like Triple-A, only in Llamanean Soccer rather than American Baseball.
Rushmore pulled out a newspaper clipping.

Young Stars
The Llamas have many young stars. 22-year-old Tyson DeJesus is already starting goalie on the U-17 team, and 18-year-old Johnny Rushmore will start on the national team for sure by the time he's 25. John Jenkins is 21 and the biggest threat on the Llamas' young midfield.

Johnny sighed. "I failed."
Eric laughed. "Dude...for a newspaper clipping? At least you aren't Jenkins."
"Oh yeah, you're right." John Jenkins had mysteriously stopped playing at 25 after being offered a spot on the national team. It was said he was living in a Dinschrian cave, insane and eating nuts and berries.
"Hey, you'll-"

"Ouch." said Ray McMartin. "That had to hurt."
Bobby Crosby stared dejectedly at his ankle. He had been a disappointment his entire international career, and now, after his increased training, he wouldn't get to show it.
"Hey, it will work." said the trainer. "But take the first game on the bench, okay?"

Johnny Rushmore received the news later that afternoon.
The newspaper clipping had been right.

[Cassadaigua]

Audioslavia: Top Challenge, Top Motivation
by Adrienne Geraci

Good evening, Cassadaigua! Well it is that time once again where nations from all over the world will attempt to qualify for the World Cup. For this edition, which will be co-hosted by the nations of Saugeais and Pasarga, 200 different countries seek qualification. It is a time like this where we immediately remember how huge our world really is. Sometimes it can get easy to get bogged down in Cassadagan events, or Rushmori events, to really understand there are so many countries out there.

We are ranked only 61st in the world, which shows that the journey to get back to the top has many miles left to be traveled. It is something that can be attained, however, and you don’t have to look any further then the top seed in our own group. That’s right, Audioslavia, #1 in the world, and winner of the last two World Cups has been drawn into our group and will make things difficult for us to attain the first place automatic bid into the World Cup. Like World Cup 64, our objective will again be to make that playoff, and get into the big dance that way. We nearly succeeded last time out, and hopefully we can continue some forward momentum. Back to Audioslavia though, because it’s important to tell their story, because it something we can look to imitate. They were a strong team, making the final of several World Cups, though never winning one. Then, for whatever the reasons may have been, the nation took significant time off from playing at this level, before eventually returning and keeping their program running at a high level. Though winning two consecutive World Cups definitely symbolizes a successful return, given that it is much more difficult to qualify for the Cup now then even it was back in World Cup 46, when we qualified for the first time, they would not have had to have won the two titles to consider their mission accomplished. We can look at them, and try to do the same thing, and I think we have shown that we still have potential. Not only did we nearly make that playoff in 64, but we also made it to the finals in the International Basketball Championships, and made the playoffs of the World Baseball Classic and World Cup of Hockey in our return. Probably would have done the same in the World Bowl as well if not for an unforgiving system in order to make the playoffs there.

Unlike the last World Cup, there was no comeback tour, and no series of tryouts in order to make our roster. We return a large amount of our players from the last roster, and will again be led by Brittany Lawton as our manager. Ten of our Eleven starters return as well, with the lone exception being Brittany Moser, and it’s sad that she will not be able to return. You will recall that Moser was our captain for World Cup 64, but sustained an injury midway through qualifying that kept her from returning to action. Since then, Brittany has struggled to regain her form back at home, and while we would love to have her back on for sentimental reasons, it would not be fair to keep a roster spot away from someone else because of it. Most of our new players on the roster are graduates from the most recent Di Bradini Cup, including Sierra Hinson, who will be starting. Sierra’s career has really taken off since that Cup, including signing an international contract with FKM of The Pazhujeb Islands. Sierra is one of three players on our team right now that now play professionally overseas. Perhaps more players will be pursued out of this Cup.

Meghan Kinson, who was the subject of many unfortunate rumors, returns to the lineup and looks to have a great Cup. Since we last blogged in the World Cup, Meghan’s name has been cleared by investigators from the allegations that she was the ringleader of a gang-rape of a man at Grande Mountain University while she was a student there. We all knew those charges were absolutely insane, and it is good to know that she will not have to play in the shadow of them any longer. Unfortunately, we have not been able to rid ourselves of the “Whatever It Takes” men’s rights movement, which has been a nuisance throughout the country. Though they have not done anything that dramatic, and even kept a low profile while we hosted the World Baseball Classic, there is some concern that they will again use the international spotlight of the World Cup to cause trouble. Whatever It Takes is also in opposition to MEN (Male Equality Now), feeling that MEN has been too soft and slow, and the propaganda wars between those two have been growing lately. And finally, I have to get to the apple-tossing. Can we please not do this during the World Cup? Pretty please?

(OOC: Cassadagan fans do not listen to the pleas of bloggers or journalists to stop throwing apples. For those who want to know the origin of the apple-tossing, read this RP.

[Mangolana]

Mangolana Gazzette

Mangolana set for World Cup 65 Warm-ups

The Mangolana national team has not had a single match since they were knocked out in the group stage of the Copa Rushmori and Market Cup. Since then, not much has changed though, Manager Arch Mctash has chosen a realitively similar roster for World Cup Qualifying, with only a few minor changes. Midfielder Sal Matts has been dropped from the Starting XI in favor of Billy Shogun who will team with his older brother Tappy Shogun in the midfield. JD Fuller, who plays with Makosile in the Vilitian V-League. Tanner Hall has also been called up to the Senior Roster to replace Time Hedjuk Jr as the backup keeper to Chris Marte who has solidified his spot in pre-season training. The only other change was the addition of Shaun Line to the roster to replace aging midfielder Alex Wesely.

Mangolana will also be playing two World Cup warm-up matches to see where the team lies against two of the best teams in the world. Mangolana will be playing both matches on the road, with the first being played in Darmen who is ranked 15th in the World and one of Mangolana's biggest Sport rivals. Mangolana will also be looking to win their second match against Darmen as Mangolana is 1-1-1 all-time against the mean green. Mangolana's second World Cup warm-up will be on the road against Equestrian States. Mangolana will also be looking to see how Mangolana could match-up against a potential play-off opponent should they make it that far.

Mangolana will play their first two qualifiers on the road, while their third match of qualifying will be held in Mangolana against former qualification opponent Cosumar who is ranked 63rd in the world and the second highest ranked team in the group. The match will be played at Grego-Johnson Stadium in Dalenderain with the start time at 7pm local time. We would also like to once again wish the Mango's luck in the qualification process.

[Qazox]

Group 18 preview


Qazox has a fair shot at qualification, with the Valladares games early in each of the halves; meaning there will be a longer opportunity to regain any points lost to the top seed. But with not much difference between Qazox, Boring Paradise, Estope and Alexanderburn; and a Felix team that was impressive at the recently completed Baptism of Fire; means that every point and game will be crucial for the Wolves.

Easiest Stretch: MD 1 to MD 4- 3 of first 4 games at home and get trip to Valladares done.

Toughest Stretch: MD 9 to MD 13- 4 of 5 on road, finishing at Boring Paradise.

Prediction for Qazox (W-L-D): 11-5-2 3rd in group.

Predicted Group Finish
VALLADARES
BORING PARADISE
QAZOX
FELIX
ESTOPE
ALEXANDERBURN
BOREALIA
ST. LOUCA
KAZNAN
SCHALAFANIA

[Taeshan]

"Well the draw has been announced."

"Ooh fun, who do we get?"

"We are in Group one, With Sargossa, Armed Bears, Leorudo, Super-Llamaland, Horusland, Kalusia, The fief of Sir Kunne, Oralana, Friday Freshman."

"Well that sounds boring as hell. Only competition will be Sargossa and Armed Bears and beyond that if we dont pick up maximum points from the rest of the games i will cry."

"Yeah if they can come out the first half, control the group like the last few times we should easily advance to the world cup again."

"Hopefully we wont randomly lose away games to inferior opponents and let random shit teams score on us we shouldnt have a problem."

"Hopefully we can clean sheet most of the games like we have the last few years, would be great."

"So were will the games be."

"The home Games will apparently be played thusly, Matchday 1 VS Friday Freshman @ X Island Metropark, Matchday 2 VS Sargossa @ Atlantea Coliseum, Matchday 4 VS Leorudo @ the Stairway to Heaven, Matchday 6 VS Horusland @ Docktown Memorial Stadium, Matchday 8 VS the fief of Sir Kunne @ X Island Metropark, Matchday 12 VS Armed Bears @ Stairway to Heaven, Matchday 14 VS Super-Llamaland @ Stairway to Heaven, Matchday 16 VS Kalusia @ Docktown Memorial Stadium, Matchday 18 VS Oralana @ X Island Metropark."

"Oooh sounds fun."

"Yeah that 2nd matchday will be the big one, a win there and we are on a way, anything less and we may have trouble with this group."

"Also revenge for the loss in the final in the Copa Rushmori."

"Yeah, but also think about how historically Sargossa has had our number."

"Yeah, but this is our A team, that was are B ish team we can do it."

"Hoping for the wins, and the return to the cup."

"Lets go Knights."

[Audioslavia]

"You any idea what time it is?" came the voice on the end of the satellite. 'On the end of the line' was apparently the regular term for the person one was addressing on the phone, but Mozi had never really seen the sense in that. There was no line, no cable, no nothing, it was all signals and satellites, bouncing particles wiggling between microchips. Mozi frowned and looked at his watch, then remembered with a pang of embarassment the difference in time zone between Audioslavia and Falconwhereveryouare.
"You did say 'call me any time'" said Mozi, ending the sentence with an obviously fake laugh - a pale attempt at introducing a sense of playful tomfoolery to the conversation. The man at the other end gave a resigned sigh.
"I meant 'any day', really, Mo, but fire away"
"Sorry David but... its a pretty big problem. Its to do with call-ups"
"How do you mean?" asked David, stifling a yawn.
"Well, its something I've not done before, sorting the players out, making sure they're OK with getting from their clubs to the NT training ground during international weeks. Training them is fine but... I just can't get them to actually 'come' here.. how did you go about co..."
"Woah, woah" said David. "Hang on"
Mo heard the sound of a pair of spectacles being dragged wearily across a bedside table, and a faint creak of bedsprings as David attained a sitting position.
"I don't know anything about that" said David, "I mean, when I was assistant manager there, the boss took care of that side of things. Israel got the players together, picked them and such, I trained them. There was none of this pretending to me 'Mister Radic' to tired Polarian and Apoxian club managers, wasn't in my remit"
"Oh" said Mozi, frowning again. "Well.. its in mine. In the contract. I'm first point of contact for players telling them they've been picked, where to report to, sorting the paperwork with the respective clubs, that kind of thing"
"Well, sucks to be you" said David Radic, "in the mean time, I have the Falconian boys for training tomorrow morning, so unless there's a problem with you phoning around the world to these far-flung Audioslavians, then I'm going to..."
"There is a problem" said Mozi, interrupting, clutching the bridge of his nose hard enough to make his eyes water. He stared at the glass of milk on the desk of his office, as if imploring it to speak for him. "The clubs are... reticent". Franz Josef won't release Karsten Eiger, they've made up a bullshit story about a calf injury. He was fine last week. Same with Imaslavii. Some nasal-voiced tit at Strike F.C. told me he had a bruised hand. That's bullshit too. Same story with Newbridge at Sporting, meaning we've only one experienced keeper for the first game. He'll have a goalie coach all to himself. Claus got back to me himself, saying he felt 'too tired' to make the journey, said his right foot hurts. Hey.."
Mozi wasn't too pleased that David had interjected with a chuckle.
"He used to say that to me, did Claus. "My right foot hurts boss". Reference to the fact that we shunted him out onto the right side of defence when he plays left-back for thingy... Directus. He's never been the type to enjoy training either"
"Still..."
"Look, this is just the natural order of things" said David, "we've had some excuses thrown at us in the past from 'slavians who are playing in the big leagues. I mean, look at it this way, what would you rather do, rest up for an important top-of-the-table league game that you're gonna be paid x grand for, or make three twelve-hour plane journeys in the space of five days just to play sixty minutes against a group of part-timers in some backwater part of Esportiva?"
"But its representing your country!" exclaimed Mozi, who'd have thrown his arms up in the air if he wasn't holding a mobile phone, "its donning the famous claret and green, being one of the chosen ones, we're the world champions for heaven's sake"
"Exactly" said David, "they've won it once before, maybe twice before for the older ones. They've played in the World Cup final. Its a bit galling to then say to them 'thanks for that, but you need to be on the 5am plane to Buttspankavia because we want you to do the same thing all over again"
"But"
"I know, I know, it doesn't seem right, it isn't like it was back in my day. Everyone was amateur, playing in Audioslavia, and being called up to the national team was the absolute high point of a player's career. Its different now. These guys are pros, being paid big by big foreign teams. They've got other things on their minds during the season. Problem is, of course, is that you have to keep these prima-donnas happy. You're the guy thats going to put them through the training, you're the link between them and the manager. You've got to show these guys some love, be a 'pal' as well as the guy who's telling them what to do. Might be an idea to let a couple of them off. Imaslavii did actually bruise his hand in the last game, from what I can recall, and Claus is legitimately tied up in a big season for Directus. Might be an idea to give them the opening match off. I mean, you're against, who is it..."
"Magnustan"
"Yeah. Unranked. Nobody's heard of them. Give Claus and Kajaxo the time off, tell them they're expected for the Kiryu-Shi game. Don't give them too long a leish, mind, they've got to respect you as well as like you. Might be difficult in your case, what with you being younger than a couple of them"
"More than a couple" said Mozi, "but I can handle that. Back when I started managing Izotz Zubia, I started off by..."
"Yes, I'm sure you did. Mo, its late.."
"Oh... yeah... sorry David. Thanks for your time"
"Any time" said David, before realising what he'd said. Mozi hung up before his predecessor could add the caveat 'but not at silly o'clock in the morning again, you twerp'.
Mozi grimaced as a sharp spurt of pain shot up his left leg. He gritted his teeth and put pressure onto his kneecap, dulling the pain slightly. He lifted a trouser leg and inspected its contents. The knee wasn't swollen any more, hadn't been for a long time, but the muscles had continued to spasm uncomfortably even now, two years after the incident. He ran a finger across one of the divots in the ball of his knee, one that had been caused by the studs of 'that' errant boot. The mis-timed tackle that had thrown him from the world of full-time football to full-time management. Twenty-five was no age to retire. Twenty-seven was certainly no age to be a manager. He wasn't any more, of course, now merely a 'coach', but a coach at the national team, reporting to none other than Israel 'two World Cups and one AOCAF' Klimt.

Mozi heard a knock on the door. He jumped up and hobbled over to it, opening it quickly, expecting that very same Israel Klimt to be standing there, probably about to ask why only twenty players of the twenty-four he'd asked for had booked into the hotel. Instead, the figure at the door was Maureen, the tiny grey-haired chain-smoker that the Football Federation of Audioslavia employed as cleaner for their offices.
"You gonna be long, pet?"
"What time is it?"
"Nearly nine. I'd like to come in and give the office a once-over, if that's OK?"
"Oh, yeah" said Mozi, turning round and retrieving his jacket from the peg. "Sorry, 'bout time I was going"
"Burning the midnight oil again, are we?" asked Maureen, shuffling her way in, hoover in hand.
"Yeah, and not just my own. G'night" said Mozi, bowing as he left.

As he walked down the corridor - the limp getting a little more manageable with time - he tried not to think about how ridiculous a thing that was to say.