Baptism of Fire 49

[Svengarda]

"Hey...you...Elken...GET UP!"

"Wuh..what?" Elken was dazed and confused as Maxile woke him up.

"The match is starting soon, come on"

Elken pulled himself off the dingy sofa and stood up, wiping away his mop blonde hair which was plastered to his face. The sky was dark and the only audible sound was a dog barking somewhere down the street. Despite being one continous party, Elken still managed to find his piece of mind, wherever it may have been. The University normally quietened down in the evenings when most of the students migrated to the local clubs and bars for the night.

"I'm gonna shower first. Is there any hot water left?"

"I haven't used it, so yeah, there's water"

"Ok thanks"

"Make it quick, your game's almost on"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world"

"I'm sure you wouldn't"

Elken went from the main area and into the small bathroom. He was saving up money to get some renovations on the thing. It was painted in a smudgey green colour, and the sink was missing a piece of porcelain. The shower's glass encasing was slightly grimey, and Elken put a hand on it to wipe it off. He was just about to get into the shower, when he looked down into the bottom of the shower

"Eugh" he thought "Feathers..."

[Yelvoldia]

The Yelvoldia Leader: Another win in the 49th Baptism of Fire!

By Tom Falvor, chief football reporter at Estadio Valor, Dénprade, Aguazul (attendance 37,542)

We have recorded another win in the 49th Baptism of Fire - beating Kingdom of East America 4-0 in our fourth group game of the tournament. This means we stay top of Group D, with 9 points, and 9 goals, from 3 games. Our defence has not conceded any goals so far in the tournament.

We opened the scoring early on, when Roger McLeod, our star striker, received a brilliant pass from our playmaker, Aaron Bïndel. McLeod jinked in between East American midfielders Albert Lawrence and Steve Oscar, before beating right-back Albert Ashton and centre-back Nicolas Ashton (who we presume to be Albert Ashton's brother). Standing 25 yards from goal, McLeod lashed a deadly shot with his stronger right foot towards goal. The shot zipped past East American goalkeeper Joseph Paulson into the top right-hand corner of the net, giving us a 1-0 lead with just 86 seconds gone. KEA had two good chances after that, with Andrew Bolton, their star striker, hitting the post with a low shot, and John Donovan, their left-winger, seeing a good shot gobbled up by our goalkeeper, Herman Barton. These chances were in the 4th and 7th minutes respectively.

Nicholas Patton, KEA's other striker, came close with a looping header that hit the bar in the 10th minute, but after that, we were totally dominant. McLeod, Connor Evans (a badger), Bïndel, Lionel Martin, and Sophie Carpet all had good chances for us. This good spell was rewarded with a second goal for us. Carpet played a lovely ball from her position on the right-wing to McLeod. McLeod ran a bit, before backheeling the ball to Evans, who passed it back across to McLeod, who rammed home a low shot from 20 yards to give us a 2-0 lead, with 30 minutes on the clock. We were being very dominant, and we almost added a third in the 40th minute, only for a goal-line block from defender John Beauclerk to deny Evans. However, we were happy with a half-time score of 2-0.

The second half began brilliantly for us. We forced KEA into passing the ball out of play from the kick-off. The throw-in was taken by Martin Albertson (another badger in our squad). Albertson quickly threw it to Carpet, who received the ball and ran with it for a bit, only for Albert Ashton to stab it away. However, McLeod, and not another East American, got the ball. McLeod volleyed the ball over Paulson first-time to give us a 3-0 lead, with about a minute of the half gone. This goal completed McLeod's hat-trick - the first hat-trick scored by one of our players on the international football stage. We had more good chances after that, with Evans hitting the bar, McLeod curling wide, and Martin seeing a long-range effort saved by Paulson.

In the 84th minute, Bolton took a low shot from 25 yards, which was saved by Barton. Barton threw the ball to Albertson, starting a counter-attack. Albertson played it into fellow badger Jack Brown, who fed the ball into Bïndel, who jinked inside the East American defenders, before chipping the ball towards goal. The ball hit the crossbar, only for Evans to head it in. This made the score 4-0 to us. We could have tried to score even more, but we decided to just play out the last 6 minutes safely. Our players were clapped off the pitch by the fans at full-time.

[Licentiapacisterra]

News In Brief

-Football Fever Rushes Through The Islands, With Licentians In Campionato Final And Baptism Of Fire Continuing
-Furore Dies Down Over Naked Foreigners, Single Licentian Men Continue As Before
-Abingdon United March On Coliseum Again, Mainstream Press Ignore Them Again
-Cute Monkey Quiets The Islands Long Enough To Go “Awwwwh !!”

...And this is your slightly uncreative cutoff for Matchday 4. Results will be below shortly.

[Licentiapacisterra]

Group A
Kintratar 3–2 North Posidia
The gypsies 0–1 Azox
Kalwomea 0–0 Lewisland

-                        Pld     W   D   L    GF   GA   GD  Pts 
1 Kintratar               4    3   0   1    12    8   +4     9 Q
2 Kalwomea                4    2   2   0     6    4   +2     8
3 Azox                    4    2   1   1     2    2    0     7
4 Lewisland               4    1   2   1     5    5    0     5
5 The gypsies             4    1   1   2     5    6   −1     4
6 North Posidia           4    0   0   4     6   11   −5     0 E

Group C
Birolika 0–2 High Heels
Baz Mat 1–2 Fanchnopolis
Thaulandi 1–0 Felix Terra

-                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Fanchnopolis            4    4   0   0    10    4   +6    12 Q
2 Thaulandi               4    3   0   1    11    6   +5     9 Q
3 Baz Mat                 4    2   0   2    10   12   −2     6
4 High Heels              4    1   1   2     6    6    0     4
5 Birolika                4    1   0   3     4    6   −2     3
6 Felix Terra             4    0   1   3     2    9   −7     1 E

Group E
The Jahistic Unified Republic 0–3 Ogedei
Svengarda 3–2 Neuseeland
Estope 3–0 Pheppenasus

-                                  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Svengarda                        4    4   0   0     9    3   +6    12 Q
2 Estope                           4    3   0   1    11    6   +5     9 Q
3 Ogedei                           4    2   1   1     9    6   +3     7 Q
4 Neuseeland                       4    1   0   3     6    9   −3     3
5 Pheppenasus                      4    0   2   2     1    5   −4     2
6 The Jahistic Unified Republic    4    0   1   3     1    8   −7     1

[Thaulandi]

"Well... as the new editor of the sports magazine of Thaulandi... I have to write a column. At first, finally the circulation of the magazine went through the roof now Thaulandi finally does something in sports, that's a good thing... But what to write about? So much to discuss, so little words I may use. At first the upheaval over the complaint to Licentiapacisterra over the amount of naked teams in the group, then the 7-1 win over Baz Mat, throwing all momentum out of the window and poorly perform versus Felix Terra, only winning 1-0 now the fans are used to more already, then Baz Mat that is still in third place (yes, 2nd vs. 3rd: 7-1) and plays High Heels in a direct playoff match for third place on the last day. Thaulandi has already clinched their place for the Play-in Games or the Round of 16... So that means our magazine will at least sell well for another week. Well, time to get some words down... Or I might as well write a song or something. We could give away a cd with our next issue, hah! We'll show the competition how we break into different media!"

Another week of international football
Where Thaulandians are finally kicking some good ball
Some weird things happening over email
And Felix Terra are the first team to fail...

In Group C (In Group C!)
In Group C (In Group C!)
In Group C (In Group C!)
In Group C (In Group C!)

Fanchno-something win all they can
Yet they've still got shirts and pants banned
High Heels for some reason agreed with us
Sexism in the TFA not to be discussed

Blow out win against Baz Mat
Goal after goal was what Snow-Reds worked at
Seven goals, optimism through the roof
Everything's going great... then poof!

Only one goal against FT
Expectations said at least three
Late winner, but a next round place
Guess who we'll then face

Knock Out Phase (Knock Out Phase!)
Knock Out Phase (Knock Out Phase!)
Knock Out Phase (Knock Out Phase!)
Knock Out Phase (Knock Out Phase!)

First one last match in the group
Birolika's still a chance to stay in the loop
Eyes directed at Baz Mat and High Heels
And lastly no more appeals...

... From the TFA, after all
This is the BoF...

... And every game,
We face another dame

(Yep, Felix Terra too has a majority of women in the team)

[Cuboneland]

The Cuboneland Times

Cuboneland and the Javahe Islands tied 0-0 in the third round of the 49th Baptism of Fire today in what many are calling the least interesting game in football history.

About the most interesting thing about the game was Cuboneland's entrance. Head coach Susanne Ace was brought in by an ambulance with an entourage of nurses accompanying her. It was also made known that Cuboneland's captain Jordan Hannibal was not present at the game.

Hannibal's replacement center, Krunk Caudex, refused to give any concrete reason as to why Hannibal was absent. "We have our suspicions as to why Hannibal wasn't there. However, I don't think it's anything YOU people need to stick your noses into."

The game commenced in a very dull and boring match in which the ball rarely got out of the center. It was recorded that 20% of the audience had fallen asleep by the time an hour had passed.

Cuboneland is now in the 3rd spot in Group F. Cuboneland's next matches against Austenersey and Kaldorium are more crucial then ever.

[Falcania]

Max shouted over the noise of the shower. "I got Airsweep! I got Totalsport 1! Now this is a fogging channel. Better than your damned anaemic Svengardan sports TV. You remember that clip I showed you? These two beating the crap out of one another."

Eklen came out, heavily swathed in towels. "What happened?"

"You doof. Basically, Tommen Hond is this ridiculous tool, and Jackwell Tollioni is too old for this game. I feel bad for him sometimes, but he fogs up so badly all the time. And Hond is a douche, but he's kind of funny when he takes the piss out of Jack. Look, watch them." She turned the screen to show Eklen the footage.

---

"Another thrilling game now, on Airsweep Totalsport 1! as Falcania completes its second draw of the tournament so far."

"That's right, Tom. No goals scored today. But it's not all about the goals, is it?"

"Not all about the goals, Jack. You are living proof that anybody can take pride in just about managing to not lose, by sacrificing their desire to win."

---

Maxile turned the laptop back. She was draped in her Falcanian flag. "You see what I mean?"

[Swyftlandre]

(Sorry it's so short, hadn't had much time again, but come tomorrow, expect the normal length RP's)

Swyftlandre Police
Shelton Tate

The last few days had been mad for the Swyftlandian Police, with the detectives from every corner of the world moving into the country to chase an invisible crime syndicate. It was no fun being the head of a suspected party either, most details were hidden from him and left the Police Force is a weak state. But nevertheless, the Crime Syndicate or the Premier and King were sure to be captured with their acts of violence soon.

But this whole turn of events were what set Shelton on the track for solving the case. The day was the 9th October, with Shelton sent home from work early, he had headed to the Pub for a drink. The match was about to air on TV, it had been a while since he'd watched a match Live instead of on the news the morning, so he could compensate all these missed times with a Beer in his hand and a trade of rude jokes,
"Ey' Shelton, you been watching the matches lately, we been doing good for once..." Harold Stanley laughed. Shelton knew him well, he'd been a regular drunk and landed himself in the station more than a dozen times.
"Ai" Returned someone else in the pub, "But that shooting yesterday, it was scary..."
"Shooting?!" Shit! How did I forget, three players, a Bus Driver from Swyftlandre and a Cardiac Coach from Austenersey were shot yesterday. While they failed to report it on the major news stations and papers, the ones who carried out the murders shot themselves afterwards, with the one on Live TV saying 'Mr. York isn't one to be messed with...', it was also tipped off that both sides received a untraceable phone call, hinting that this would happen. The Aguazul Police have been investigating this case, but what if they're linked? The Crime Syndicate and The Shooting, it seems too odd that this team in charge of the shooting were so prepared. Mr. York could be the leader of both events, in which case, the investigation should be focused in Aguazul as well as Swyftlandre...
"Ai, it seemed staged, but parently' it really appened'"
"Yeah, I remember now...the Aguazul Police are investigating that, nothing to do with us I'm afraid."
"That's a shame, but can we stop talking bout' this now?"
"Aw...is Samuel a pussy?"
"Fuck off!"

The game then started, a few words were said in respect towards the players who were lost and the national anthems played, before kick-off. This Mr. York claimed that Swyftlandre would be free from death should they win, I hope to god they win today... It was a shaky start for Swyftlandre, nearly conceding two goals, but after thirty minutes, Swyftlandre took the upper hand, taking the lead.
"HAHA! We're doin' great, GO TEAM!!!"
"Yep, we are, they're doing much better against the other teams, maybe we just weren't prepared for the Campionato Esportiva!"
"Oi, Tate, stop nerding it up..."

The game ended as quickly as it started, with Swyftlandre taking the lead. The New York State team suddenly broke into chaos, a armed man walked onto the pitch. Not again!!!
"That was a poor display!" The Armed Man laughed, "You don't deserve to be alive! Tell you what, you can pick who dies, you have say, ten seconds, then I'll shoot!"
What's up with this! Why doesn't anyone stop him!!!
The man on the TV then spoke, "The Security Guards, they're all dead. Their shooters committed suicide, we'd also like to suggest you change the channel now!"
Just cut the broadcast!

Eventually, the armed man shot at someone, Thorbjorn Friedman, struck dead with two bullets in the heart and Ron Copeland collapsed with a heart attack. Before the armed man shouted, "I'm sorry" and shoved the gun into his mouth and shot. The TV screen then shifted to that of a Black Screen, a voice spoke over,
"I AM MR. YORK, HEAD OF THE ORGANISATION THAT OVERSAW THE SHOOTINGS...I HAVE ONE REQUEST, THE POLICE MAY NOT MAKE FOREIGN ACTIONS INVOLVING THE RECENT DEATHS AND THE INVESTIGATIONS IN SWYFTLANDRE ARE TO BE CEASED! SHOULD YOU FAIL TO COMPLY TO THESE TERMS, ALL THE TEAMS IN AGUAZUL WILL BE EXECUTED. THIS IS A PROMISE!"
I'm guessing he threatening the team involved, but this only proves it, the Premier or the Royal Family are in charge of this homicide...it has to be...Only they knew about the investigation in Swyftlandre and have this power...

Mr. York

"Hehehe, that's interesting, if I scribble out a name and replace it with another, the original name will still be in effect and the new subject will be subject to death by original means, a heart attack...I have to be sure I want to kill then, or else it could go badly..."
"That's good, but I have an offer for you..."
"The eyes, I know...you've made the offer five times already, the answer is still no. In my position in Government, I can easily pick up Census' from every nation, I can easily find every man I need, plus attendants are easy to find through Facebook and the such..."
"Just remember the offers up for grabs, alright?"
"Yah, anyway, this broadcast will convince the police that the Premier is responsible, once he's apprehended, the death's will stop for a while. Once we're cleared of suspicion, I will get to work on creating...THE PERFECT WORLD!!!"

(Fixed typo )

[Cambirano]

CAMSports Now

On Point
Cambirano manages a point

"I had a good night."

Theo Walden was obviously pleased that he was not a source of blame for Cambirano's latest match in the 49th Baptism of Fire.

He was fantastic in the 0-0 draw with Maklohi Vai by Cambirano, which gave them their first point of the tournament. Walden had 5 saves, including one leaping save in the 89th minute after a Maklohi Vai striker put a rocket in the upper right corner that Walden just got two fingers on.

"Theo made a great play there," said teammate Jacob Agroune.

Now, debate in the Cambiranan media and among fans centers around the lack of attack in the Maklohi Vai match. With only 4 shots, the Cambiranan attack looked anemic. Even when Xavier Camette replaced Zachary Bolden at striker in the 66th minute, a move surely to provide more speed, the offense continued to stall.

"We need to perform better... we know our fans... deserve better," said Bolden in an interview with CAMSports Now after the game, "And a chunk of that requirement to perform is sitting on my shoulder."

Probably the best chance of the night came to Charles Davies, who had two goals in the Super-Llamaland game, when late in the game, he was left with a wide-open volley off a corner from 7 yards out.

But his leg swung just a few seconds too early, and he completely missed the ball. Teammate Cliff Cooley immediately put his head in his hands, and other players looked in shock that such a beautiful chance had been wasted.

Davies did not appear for media interviews after the match.

[Charruterra]

Cloyan, who still didn't know much about english, proceeded to write once again.

This Be Test

Today, almighty, benevolent, Sharuujpán who loves everyone except heretics, that mean everyone except we, test us. We draw with super heretic Falcania, which be compose of human-bird attrocities that me see nightmares. We draw coz we get two posts. Zapicán hit one with free kick and Fáju hit one with long shot. This be bad day for we, but me knows why this happen. Sharuujpán be testing us. Sharuujpán want know if we believe true and not false. We believe true so we win tomorrow.

ME BELIEVE ALMIGHTY SHARUUJPÁN

Meanwhile, Janguje, the one who knew english, also wrote something.

Tough Draw

Hey, we drew, but we gotta see the bright side. We're at the top of the group and tied against F-A-L-C-A-N-I-A, the well-known Atlantian nation. We could've even won if it wasn't for two posts. The left post of the Falcanian goalkeeper saved them twice during the first half. Once when Zapicán kicked a perfect free kick there, with the post shouting a big "NO!" and once when Fáju dribbled two and shot from outside the box. Again, big "NO!", from the post. All in all, I'd say it was a square and fair result for us. We have lots of chances to advance with two matches left and it'd be too difficult for us to get eliminated now. They key match will be against Gaveo, I really hope we win it. I guess Sharuujpán wasn't quite on our side today, with those two posts. However, I think we should still believe in him/her, he/she has gotten us here after all.

Janguje then rushed for the ritual, however, Cloyan rushed to the stadium where they had played.

Everyone was at the ritual, with lots of rubber chickens. Even Fáju was there, it seems like no kidnapper had gotten him this time, or maybe he had just run out of excuses. Something weird had happened, Cloyan wasn't there. They carried on with the ritual, but they all worried for him.

Meanwhile, Cloyan entered the pitch where they had played that day, it was dark, but he had brought a torch with him. As soon as his sight, which was far more advanced than the ordinary man's, could spot the goal with the post that had been hit twice that day. He rushed to it screaming "For Sharuujpán!", when he got to the post, he continued to hit it with the torch and continuously punch it. He got tired after 4 hours of continuous hitting, with the post completely disfigured and broken. When he woke up, he found himself at the hotel. In front of him was Zoba Má, who told him the following:

"I was sure I would find you there, you're just too predictable. A word of advise, if you're going to do something, tell us before, we might help you. You've got exhausted, I believe. Please just rest, we need you for the next match."

An awkward silence invaded the room.

"Also, remember this: just because the forest is full, it doesn't mean Sharuujpán isn't trying to find some place for you."

"Poor Sultaj, he must've slept even less than me.", thought Cloyan, before shaking hands with Zoba Má and leaving for his room.

*please remember that Cloyan's thoughts are grammatically correct because their translated from Charrúa, while what he writes is his english.

[Birolika]

The Daily Sheep

A guide to Birolik culture

So Birolika look like they might be out already, however the nation is too busy revelling in the limelight of the ice hockey. So instead of giving any meaningful detail to the travesty that has been this cup so far we are going to give long and pointless explanation of Birolik culture which is dull and useless and probably most likely to kill readers from severe boredom.

The first thing you need to know about Birolik culture is the food, it is world renown for being bland and tasteless and is often used to help patients recovering from burn tongues. The staple breakfast of the nation is Quakara, a form of porridge made mostly with water. It doesn't taste of anything and has the consistency of very thick juice, it is also referred to as a cause in most suicide notes. The national staple for lunch in Birolika is a stew made from beef. However it once again is incredibly bland as the beef is cooked until is is well done before it is tossed in a pot of warm water and flour, it is all then boiled until any meaningful flavour disappeared. The most popular meal for dinner is very coarse brown bread and tasteless butter. The main drink of Birolika is beer, however it is know for being incredibly watery and not particularly intoxicating. It takes most people about 5 pints before they have any Dutch courage. It is also referred to a lot in suicide notes.

Next we move onto the people, they are just as tasteless and dull as the food. Most Birolik men are thin, grey faced, short and unattractive; the women are also rather wiry and miserable looking. Biroliks are known for sitting around their homes in silence or eating turnips. The people are also known for their high suicide rate, every year 17 in 1000 Biroliks commit suicide either due to the food, watery beer or the fact that they are surrounded by Biroliks. The most popular national pastime is complaining about the country.

Now we move to the history of the country and you might begin to understand just why Biroliks are the way they are. There was a time when they were optimistic as a people. In 1788 the country was settled by pilgrims from a far away land, no one is quiet sure where. They landed in Dalton bay, then in Peldon. After that the rest of the country, however it took a long time to reach the west. By 1802 they were at war, it started with them going to war with another country which has since faded into obscurity. It ended with about half the population dead, however they did keep control of the country. However peace wasn't to last long with the Biroliks deciding they would rather be independent than controlled by a land so far away. A series of battles starting in 1808 and ending in 1825 which lead to Birolik independence. Back then they were still optimistic, however in 1856 a second war started out with the Right-wing and Left-wing parties declaring war on each other. The war didn't last very long however it resulted in a lot of deaths and the dissolution of the political system and then quick reforming. The last war was fought between 1912-39 where three of the states attempted to break free, the result was the destruction of several cities and about half the population either dying or moving somewhere less prone to disaster.

Now finally to geography, Birolika is dominated mostly by being rather cold, dark and wet. In the north there are only 5 days of sunshine a year, meanwhile they have 171 days of rain. It isn't the sort of rain that pours down violently, but more like the drizzle that drills on and on and ruins everyone’s day (except the ducks). Birolika doesn't have any mountains, however they have a lot of hills. However they're not the fun sort of hills you work your way up on a bike and then charge back down pretending your in the tour de France. It's the sort of hills that go up gradually and wear you out, however when you go down it doesn't feel like it was worth it on your way down. Also Birolika is full of little dips that make cause a lot of puddles to form everywhere and get your feet wet.

So this Birolik culture, as you can see it is a horrible place to be but there is one saving grace. Birolik rules football has been described as rather fun to watch and Biroliks are incredibly talented at it. It is like rugby, but played on a circular pitch and without the same level of contact. It is the only thing in Birolika that is yet to appear as a cause for suicide.

[The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips]

Spotted: Pigglesworth Snortimer

Extract from Central HEATing Magazine

Upon arrival in the Aguazul, the Saldovinian side has been highly successful. Our paparazzi crew followed a specific member of the crew, 'Pigglesworth Snortimer' as he escaped from his storage container. He was first spotted by bystanders as it rampaged through the Market Places of Aguazul knocking over every man he could. Twenty minutes later, he was then found inside a child's home, where he hid for ten minutes. He was offered Roast Beef, which he accepted and fled, unfortunately having it confiscated due to his bad behavior.

The Police, on hearing of this incident, chased Pigglesworth Snortimer around the streets as he sqweeled 'Wee Wee Wee' all the way home.

[Estope]

Abingdon - Estope's second trip to The Coliseum of the Gaels in the 49th Baptism of Fire yielded a much better result than the previous trip. Estope ran all over Pheppenasus to guarantee their spot in the next round. The match was seemingly over before it began. Within five minutes Alex Stark passed the ball to Travis Barria for the score and early 1-0 lead. Estope played mainly possession and quickly scored again when Rudy Picasso crossed the ball to Milo Dewith who scored his first international goal. After Stark scored to extend the lead to 3, Coach Emanuel Inzer began to pull starters and play some younger players for experience. Nathan Wiley, Jesse Conforti, and Luke Frits all saw their first playing time in the Baptism of FIre. Luckily for Pheppenasus the blowout did not continue in the second half as the Estope team had trouble finishing. Inzer was pleased with his teams performance and even happier about qualifying. He said that tomorrow's game against The Jahistic Unified Republic is still important but he will try to give some players a break heading into the important knockout stage. The Jahistic Unified Republic has yet to win a game and is currently last in the group.

Other Group E action on Day 4 included The Jahistic Unified Republic losing 0–3 to Ogedei and Svengarda winning 3–2 over Neuseeland

Estope Tournament Stats

Goal Scorers
Travis Barria - 5
Alex Stark - 3
Jacob Lawrence - 2
Milo Dewith - 1

Assist Leaders
Alex Stark - 4
Rudy Picasso - 2
John Hardy - 1

Saves
Ashton Pate - 23

Schedule

MD1: Ogedei v Estope - Win - 3-4
MD2: Neuseeland v Estope - Win 1-3
MD3: Estope v Svengarda - Loss 1-2
MD4: Estope v Pheppenasus - Win 3-0
MD5: The Jahistic Unified Republic v Estope

[Gaveo]

Group B:
Super-Llamaland 2–2 Gaveo
Charruterra 0–0 Falcania
Maklohi Vai 0–0 Cambirano

Group B                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Charruterra             3    2   1   0     7    1   +6     7
2 Falcania                3    1   2   0     4    1   +3     5
3 Gaveo                   3    1   2   0     3    2   +1     5
4 Super-Llamaland         3    1   1   1     8    8    0     4
5 Maklohi Vai             3    0   1   2     0    4   −4     1
6 Cambirano               3    0   1   2     3    9   −6     1

Gaveo is in the race to qualify and we are third. Can we make it to the playoff round? We will find out. But for now here is a recap of the game. First the game started off with Super-Llamaland scoring first at the 23rd minute, 3 minutes later Sebastian Cadiz responded for Gaveo tying the game 1-1. Halftime rolled by and Cadiz scored for his second goal making his second goal of the tournament in the 67th minute. Lets move to the 88th minute, we were leading 2-1 this it can we get our three points? No! Super-Llamaland scores and Gaveo is in shock. We were so close, yet so far. Maybe next time we can win but we need to win fast. Go Gaveo!

[Super-Llamaland]

Group B:
Super-Llamaland 2–2 Gaveo
Charruterra 0–0 Falcania
Maklohi Vai 0–0 Cambirano

Group B                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Charruterra             3    2   1   0     7    1   +6     7
2 Falcania                3    1   2   0     4    1   +3     5
3 Gaveo                   3    1   2   0     3    2   +1     5
4 Super-Llamaland         3    1   1   1     8    8    0     4
5 Maklohi Vai             3    0   1   2     0    4   −4     1
6 Cambirano               3    0   1   2     3    9   −6     1

Goals by Johnny Rushmore and Trevor Duncan left the Llamas in fourth place, just a single point behind, as the score at the end was knotted up at two between Llamas and Gaveo.

Mays: "Rushmore has really developed over the last two tournaments. It's amazing."

Duncan: "This is fun, and we could make the playoffs!"

[Fanchnopolis]

Full focus on football, full determination in getting more wins. This is the current situation of our team right now. The three wins in the initial matches surely serve as motivation for our team and as a sign that it is really possible for us to get the title, but they surely can't make us think that we are unbeatable. With the exception of the second game versus Thaulandi, in which we were able to exploit the specific formation of our opponents to infiltrate their defensive breaches, all the other games were difficult and in which we were only able to win by a difference of a single goal. Due to this tendency of small wins, a meeting was called by the captain Frots after the 2-1 win versus Baz Mat, in which we will make a very deep analysis of what is going well and what can be improved, so we will reach the knockout rounds in top form.

I hate Frots, to be honest. But this is not a house of friends or a marriage: our personal relationships may not interfere in our intent to play well and give our best in order to reach the title. Simple as that. But this doesn't mean that it is easy to have to play with and cooperate with someone whose decisions you do not agree with, even though this is the same person who first brought you to the team. Yes, it was she who invited me to play for Fanchnopolis, and that was an offer that I couldn't refuse, because it is a honour to me to be able to represent my entire country... but this leaves a bitter taste, since she can always use this as an argument for me to not criticize her or to pose with an air of superiority, especially when I begin being praised for my performances and goals. She simply can't forget to make comments like "You see, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be so famous in the world... and you still keep this angry face when looking at me, you should be grateful!" or "Come on, Lynn, you may be the star player, but I am the captain and leader... or have you forgotten how you entered this team?"

Yes, this entry of the team diary is being written by me, Katherine Lynn, number seven of the Fanchnopolis National Team, and the target striker of the starting eleven. Therefore, due to my position as main goalscorer of the team, I end under the spotlights, receiving much praise when the team wins and the same amount of critics when we lose. So, I enter in the situation of being the main figure of the team, especially when I play well. Many people remember my name first when they think about Fanchnopolis. To be in the centre of the stage is a curious situation, with all its pros and cons. Cameras are filming you when you aren't even close to the ball, any comment you make appear on the newspapers the following day, and some people even do not get close to you because they think you are arrogant or don't have time for them. I admit that I can be intimidating in some moments, that I get angry easily and it's difficult to follow a conversation with me... some of my friends, team mates of the National Team, have already said this, but they know that I am a great friend, caring and who loves to talk. It's just that you have to try to know me better instead of judging me quickly.

But one of the good points of being famous and transforming myself in a reference of the squad is that Frots, or one of the other members of the squad who dislike me, for I know there are others, can't do anything against me, like removing me from the starting eleven or not passing the ball, because the fans would react badly. This is what makes us equal in this contest of egos. She is the captain and the one who organizes the tactics and the substitutions, acting like the coach of the team too, although following the advices of other women as Divara, while I am the main player of the team and the one who gives it more chances of scoring goals. She needs me and I need her. But, you see, this makes me wonder... why are we always trying to throw our anger at something or someone, even though this action can be harmful to ourselves... or, even if it won't hit us back, also won't give us nothing in favour? Surely we all have people whom we dislike, but why to not help them because of this? See that I'm not talking about not doing them harm, because this should be an automatic thinking, although unfortunately it isn't... we shouldn't even think of doing harm to another person even if we dislike him or her... but my question is other: why to refuse to cooperate or contribute to this person?

This is something that this competition is showing me in a curious way. Put together with Frots and all the others, I had to learn to overcome all the differences and work as a team during the matches. And I see how uniting our forces we reach the success, one that we wouldn't reach acting separately. Many people say when I play well "Oh, Lynn was the one who decided the game, she scored the winning goal" But what about the girl who gave me the assist? Or what about Divara, whose performance as a goalkeeper is crucial to help us to win a match, since she keeps our opponents from scoring? A lone effort fails to reach the heights that a devoted cooperation can achieve. You see, sometimes we spend our energy by trying to halt the advancements of other people, because we are in some "state of war" against them. And, thanks to this attitude, we stall them at the same time that we lose the same energy that could be used to further our own advancements. And the other person acts the same way, sending you back while the force you would use to go forward is being used to keep that person back too, in a process that makes both keep going backwards and backwards.

Now imagine when we stop all this sad situation, motivated by hate and other feelings that we can easily associate as bad feelings, and transform it in a scenario where all this energy is used as a force to send things forward. Now, you don't only have spare energy to use for your own benefit, but in a state of cooperation and mutual help with another person, be it one of your friends or another individual, you can also use the strength of this other person to go further, and your energy will serve that person to go forward too. In the end, you two are winning, instead of losing. And then you can combine more people... three, four, five... this is the situation that we have in this National Team. The Fanchnopolis squad works with eleven players on the field working together, with no space for overly individual moves. And to think that several of us are rivals here! But we learnt the lesson: success will come only with support between the players. How could our fans back home imagine that I would score the first goal in our last game versus Baz Mat thanks to an assist by our captain Frots? This may have been surprising for them, but that's what happened.

Talking more about that match, our second goal was also scored still during the first half, but this time Danizinha was the scorer. She received a pass from Sandra and had the luck of a mistake by the goalkeeper. Baz Mat even scored, but that couldn't stop us from getting the three points. And now, with four wins in four matches, we can see that Fanchnopolis is really a team of brave women. Not only we are overcoming the difficulties of our own personal rivalries and bad feelings, as I have commented... we still have the pessimism of some girls like Danizinha, or the lazyness of Marino, for example... but we have also defeated the critics, those who acted sexist or tried to say that our footballing talent was overrated. Well, I think that this issue is now over, as we are proving our point and proving our quality. But we are still ready for more. This team is here searching for victories, both inside and outside the pitch.

[The Javahe Islands]

"Well, that was boring. Wouldn't you agree Andy?" asks Bob Sanders, world-renowned and possible world-disowned football commentator.
"Yeah, Bob. That was pretty damn boring. No goals. And it wasn't the goalies' fault either. There was just no offense for either team," Andy Amberg, Sanders's partner, replies.
"Well, let's go to the highlight reel," Sanders continues. "Throughout the game, the pace was nonexistent and the fans were quiet. Okay, here we have a technically excellent pass from Cuboneland defender Niles Ennui to goalie DJ Holloway."
"Bob, just look at the skill that Ennui displays. He puts that pass right in front of Holloway."
"It's not all Ennui, though, Andy," Sanders interjects. "Holloway does a great job just receiving the ball. He doesn't try to do anything fancy with it, just receives the ball."
"Oh, and here we have some clips of, uh, Cassie Harrettman (sic), the Dzhavahee (sic) coach, uh, walking around on the sideline. She's rather calm and collected... Okay, can we cut from this, please? It's zooming in to her..."
"Okay, Andy, calm down. It's okay. Next clip, ah. Sayhen Nuhraisin (sic) kicking the ball from his goal line to center field. It's really quite amazing how far he can loft that ball downfield. He must have trained a lot."
"Here's probably the highlight of the match, Bob. It's defender Dzhamen (sic) Piiv warming up to come on as a substitute in the second half. It was his first international appearance, Bob."
"That's right, Andy. That's why Dzhaymin Piv (sic) is the Mountain Dew^TM Man of the Match. Thank you for joining us for this broadcast. All broadcast rights to this game were blah, blah, blah."

[Azox]

Azox football HQ:

John Holsten: "We did it again."

Abby Dearborne: "I know Sir. Once again we get a goal due to a fluke play."

John Holsten: "Well that's true, but I doubt that it was that much of a fluke. A 8 player richochet bouncing in off of Rectangle #1's short side, was one of the few set-up corner kick plays we had. No, I was talking about the shutout."

Abby Dearborne: "Who would've thought that Trapezoid would be so good in net."

John Holsten: "No one expected this. No goals allowed in what, 300 minutes? "

Abby Dearborne: "317 minutes, Sir."

John Holsten: "Only 4 teams have given up fewer goals, but they've only played 3 games."

Abby Dearborne: "Maybe, Sir, we don't have to find real players for the World Cup."

John Holsten: "I'm not one to tempt fate, Abigail. I'd rather have a full team than rely upon luck. But perhaps one or two players from this team can be on the main squad come February when the qualifiers begin. I won't go any further than that."

Abby Dearborne: "I've already begun narrowing down the list, Sir. There are a couple of players though that I need to do some research on though."

John Holsten: "What kind of research?"

Abby Dearborne: "Research about citizenship rules, Sir. We have a couple of players that, if we can get them Azoxan citizenry within the next 30 days could play for us. I think it's something worth looking into."

John Holsten: "Just as long as they can legally play for us, go ahead."

[Aguazul]

(OOC: Pending confirmation with Licentiapacisterra, the tentative plan now is for a bye day on Sunday. Then my scorination will switch to just about the same time Licentiapacisterra's has been, from Monday morning (USA)/afternoon (Europe) on. This would push the playoffs one day back from the plan in the original post, leaving the final one week from today.)

La Verdad

Sound bites

"On second thought, I'd prefer to be looking into the case with the streakers and all of that." ~disgruntled police officer
"I totally did not mean that literally." ~same guy, sixty nervewracking seconds later
"Sure, we don't have any idea what's going on with the schedule, but we are still so much more competent than the police force it's not even funny." ~football tournament organizer

Group B:
Gaveo 2–3 Cambirano
Falcania 1–0 Maklohi Vai
Super-Llamaland 1–0 Charruterra

Group B                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Falcania                4    2   2   0     5    1   +4     8
2 Charruterra             4    2   1   1     7    2   +5     7
3 Super-Llamaland         4    2   1   1     9    8   +1     7
4 Gaveo                   4    1   2   1     5    5    0     5
5 Cambirano               4    1   1   2     6   11   −5     4
6 Maklohi Vai             4    0   1   3     0    5   −5     1

Group D:

Circle of Dark 0–2 East Shippensburg
Yelvodia 4–5 The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips
Allandium 0–0 Royal East America

Group D                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips    4    4   0   0    15    7   +8    12
2 Yelvoldia                          4    3   0   1    13    5   +8     9
3 East Shippensburg                  4    3   0   1     8    7   +1     9
4 Allandium                          4    1   1   2     1    3   −2     4
5 Royal East America                 4    0   1   3     2    9   −7     1
6 Circle of Dark                     4    0   0   4     0    8   −8     0

Group F:
Austenersey 0–3 New York State
The Javahe Islands 0–1 Swyftlandre
Kaldorium 0–0 Cuboneland

Group F                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Swyftlandre             4    3   1   0     8    3   +5    10
2 The Javahe Islands      4    2   1   1     4    1   +3     7
3 New York State          4    2   0   2     7    5   +2     6
4 Cuboneland              4    1   2   1     1    2   −1     5
5 Austenersey             4    0   2   2     6   10   −4     2
6 Kaldorium               4    0   2   2     5   10   −5     2

[Cambirano]

CAMSports Now

Victory at Last
The nation rejoices after its first win

Charles Davies was ecstatic.

"We won. We won."

Smiles were evident on all of Cambirano's players' faces today. The national soccer team earned its first win in international competition, by defeating Gaveo 3-2.

The win moved them from 6th to 5th in Group B, still one point behind Gaveo, which has 5 points to Cambirano's 4. Qualification for the next round looks impossible, as it would require a win against group-leading Falcania by at least 8 goals, realistically.

However, the entire nation rejoiced when the team put together a complete game, and most agreed they deserved victory.

"Wow, just wow... OMG! We won!" said one user on an Internet chat room.

The game was back-and-forth. Gaveo went up 1-0 in the 9th minute, but was responded to by Cambirano midfielder Clint Easton with a chip past the keeper in the 20th minute. Then Cliff Cooley placed a header in the top left corner off of a corner kick in the 47th minute. Gaveo responded, though, with a beautiful free kick that leveled the score in the 80th minute.

The game looked destined for a draw, but then Xavier Camette, who had started in place of Zachary Bolden at striker because of Bolden's ankle sprain, took a ball in the 83rd minute from the midfield all the way to the penalty box, dodging his way around two opponents, and then placing a missile into the lower left corner.

The Cambirano bench erupted as the clock hit 91:00, and the referee blew his whistle. Reserve midfielder Stefan Vlachinovsky began to hop up and down, grabbing several other teammates in a giant bear hug.

"I was so happy," he said. "We just won us a soccer match."

Camette was not made available for comment after the match. The club cited health concerns, and rumors have circulated that the excitement caused nausea in Camette.

However, fellow striker Cliff Cooley had something to say.

"Xavier is clutch. He just made a play. I'm so happy for him and us as a team."

[The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips]

The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips QUALIFY for the Round of 16

It was Badgers vs. Pigs as the Yelvodian side met the Saldovinian Agricultural company 'The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips' for the first time, which resulted in yet another 'shock' win for the Pink...Plump...Juicy...mmm...Bacon...uh, I meant, for the Pigs of Bacon Strips. The first goal came seven minutes in from the perky replacement for Porker, Peppa Pig. We are sure the other team running around the pitch with their vicious claws and screams of 'Here' just scared the poor thing into scoring the goal, aw, bless.

But, she isn't the only star of the show, the Goalkeeper Clarice, who was caught rolling in the Mud at her goal, stopped Yelvoldia scoring a whole twelve goals. Some might just say that's just pure luck or an amateur Yelvoldia side, but I say she's the most talented goalie money can buy. The goals from The Holy Temple continue however, with King Johnathan the Third of Haybail House scoring two goals within twelve minutes thanks to his fast movements, tactical passes and a overall brilliant attack...just kidding, I think he scares the Yelvodian team.

But then it happened, the team returned after Half Time to a terrible shock, only seven minutes back into the game, Martin Albertson, a Badger from the Yelvodian team had scored a Hat Trick. However, in a flurry of action, an exchange of goals then took place between the Saldovinian team and Yelvodia, 55' Minutes, Pig #30200 who was accidently kicked in the backside, causing him to run in the direction of the goal, squeeling as he went, it just so happened the ball was rolling in his path. Then, 67' Minutes, Sophie Carpet came up the side, taking the ball off Defender Smoky and the Bandit and kicking it to Xavier Jules, who headered it into the goal to equalize, 23' Minutes left and the score was 4-4. The Yelvodian team, desperate not to lose a game in the Group Stage, went crazy attempting to score another eight goals, each failing. However, when the ball fell to Peppa Pig, who still had no understanding of what to do took the ball into her possession, knocked it with her head to Porkchop, who, after a long time running in the wrong direction, chewing at the ball and oinking, finally got it right scored the fifth goal for the Agricultural company.

The game ended pretty quickly afterwards, with The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips failing to lose a single game. They are now assured to progress into the Round of 16, if they somehow win, you've got to question the ability of the other teams...

[Yelvoldia]

The Yelvoldia Leader: Damnit! A loss!

By Tom Falvor, chief football reporter at Estadio Valor, Dénprade, Aguazul (attendance 37,614)

It's a disaster! In this badgers vs pigs match in the 49th Baptism of Fire (respectively, us vs. The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips), we have lost 5-4. This means we are in real danger of failing to qualify for the round of 16 of the tournament - we MUST beat East Shippensburg. A draw would also be a favourable outcome for us, but a win for us is crucial.

The opening goal was scored on 1 minute, when apparently, our badgers somehow scared THToBS player Peppa Pig into scoring! How is that possible? The manager of our squad, Dr. Bart Vale, was raging on the touchline. THToBS goalkeeper Clarice was rolling in the mud, and apparently "stopped us from scoring twelve goals", according to the main newspaper of The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips. Then, King Johnathan the Third of Haybail House, another player from the THToBS side, scored two goals, respectively after 24 and 42 minutes. The goals were a header and a tap-in, respectively. At half-time, our players were booed off for the disgusting performance so far.

However, by the 53rd minute, we were level, thanks to a hat-trick from...Martin Albertson, the badger who is a right-back! Albertson thundered home from 25 yards in the 46th minute, curled past Clarice in the 49th, and scored a great bicycle kick to make it 3-3 in the 53rd minute. Amazing! However, just two minutes later, we were losing again - Pig #30200 of THToBS was kicked in the backside, causing him to run towards our goal, squealing his head off, and, luckily for him, his team, and his country, the ball hit off him and went in, making the score 4-3 to The Holy Temple of Bacon Strips.

We aren't those who give up, though, and, in the 67th minute, Sophie Carpet, our right-winger, took the ball of THToBS defender Smoky and The Bandit, before crossing it into Xavier Jules, our captain, levelling the game at 4-4. We were desperate not to lose the game, and we apparently "went crazy trying to score eight goals, each failing". However, in the last minute, Porkchop scored THToBS' fifth goal, stunning our players. We need a win in our next game to progress.

[High Heels]

From the journal of 19-year-old starting keeper Kaisa Cuban:

We won for the first time. 2-1. I guess we're still alive on life support. This is what having your back to the wall feels like. And I don't like it, not one bit. We were supposed to do better than this.

Ha! Who am I kidding? "Supposed to do better?" Meaningless. Or cocky. Maybe we're just trying too hard. It was easy when we just went out and played. I should put a bug in Melody's ear or Amanda's. Just go out and play. We need help from other groups even if we win. So let's just have fun again! Pretend we're back in Valanora with wonder in our eyes and not a care in the world. Find our inner girl.

At least we're scoring again. That will be good, we need to build GD to have a chance. And I need to SLAM THE DOOR SHUT on Baz Mat!

You know what, this page is a real mess. I'm not thinking straight. We don't need help from other groups except maybe to avoid a play-in game. As long as we're top three we live. So it IS up to us. Win and keep playing.

[Charruterra]

Cloyan was browsing the internet, a heretic "program" in a heretic machine that he believed would destroy the world. He then saw something unbelievable:



"HOW DARE YOU!!!!", he shouted completely angry.
"IT'S SHARUUJPÁN, NOT MARGARET!!!", he shouted again.
"All this foreigners will pay. I swear!", he shouted, but in a lower volume.
"How come, how come. All this heretism is incredible, unbelievable....", he said disappointed.

Fáju, who had scored twice that day, sadly both in off-side, entered the room, he had heard Cloyan shouting.

"What's going on here, Cloyan?", he asked.
"Nothing, just heretics and heretism.!", he said, quite angry.
"What do you mean?"
"You see, I "browsed" this horror machine and eventually ended up on this website where Sharuujpán has another name and has helped heretics.", he said disappointed.
Fáju decided to read the article.
"Well, whoever designed that logo, he's a horrible graphic designer.", he said amused.
"That's not the point you big head!", said Cloyan angrily.
"I see, I see. Well, I actually think some satire is cool. This was all used for a game called RLStates, it's quite enjoyable. I've got a nation called Somalia, for example. You choose whatever to do with a nation you yourself create, I created one with lots of pirates and a never ending civil war.", said Fáju.
"Just like Charruterra!", said Cloyan a bit more happy.
"Well, why don't you try the game? I'm sure your fear of computers will soon disappear", said Fáju
"If you insist....", said Cloyan, giving up to creating a heretic nation.
"Well, how would you like to name it?", asked Fáju.
"Name it.... uhmmm.... Zimbabwe!", said Cloyan.
"Sure, Zimbabwe. Type of government?"
"Evil!", said Cloyan while reading the options.
"Would you like to answer the questions?", asked Fáju.
"Not at all! They're heretic!", said Cloyan.
"Well, then, let's click that box down there about the terms that noone reads and.... created!", said Fáju.
"Well, let's take a look at it.", said Cloyan, quite excited.

This was what they saw:

"Awesome, this makes me forgive the heretics.", said Cloyan, excited. "It's exactly as I'd rule my nation.", he then said.
"Glad to help you.", said Fáju.
"Well, we've still got to win against Gaveo if we want to advance, so let's go sacrifice some rubber chickens.", said Cloyan
"Sounds.... good.", said Fáju, kind of hiding his asharuujpánism*.

*: lack of belief in Sharuujpán

[Licentiapacisterra]

Cyan-and-Gold Observer

News in Brief

-Group Stages Drawing To A Close, With Places Still To Be Decided In The Next Round
-Goalpost Stolen From Coliseum of the Gaels, Nationalists Blamed, Rushed Replacement Found
-Grand Duke Planning To Watch Double Header At LTI Stadium
-RLFA Dismisses Aguazuleño Incompetence As Genuine Mistake, Smugly Notes Their Own Perfect Scheduling

...and here is the cutoff for the final matchday of the Licentian half, results will be below shortly.