Munhwa Shinhwa, English Edition wrote:AMATEURS AGAINST OLYMPIANS
QUARTERFINAL AGAINST COTDELAPOMS BECKONS AFTER 29-20 WIN OVER PONIES
CASHLAUNCARRIGA - With the last blow of the whistle, the Han are leaving the country and heading for the Wood Box - the less commonly known name of the Maudraiska Arena where a quarterfinal match against the Olympic championship team of Cotdelapoms. Such a thing was never in doubt after the Han blasted the Equestrian States 29-20, with Choe Gwan-Tae leading the goals today. Kim Hak-Seop led the team in assists, showing off his creative side of the game as he peeled players left and right. In all, the team performances that have put the Han into the quarterfinals continued, and will need to continue against a Cotdelapoms side that boasts experience, skill, and confidence. With the defeat of Sicoutimont in their match against the Jahistic Unified Republic, the two perfect sides go into the quarterfinals knowing full well that history beckons at the 9th Handball World Cup.
Of course, history favors Cotdelapoms, recent Olympic champions and still strong favorites to win the game, let alone the whole tournament. "I think if we're to have any chance of winning this game, we'll need to tame Luc Rodrigues," says Coach Pak Seung-Ho. "He's been the anchorpoint for anything and everything in this Cotdelapoms team. He was their MVP during the Olympics, and he's proving again his championship credentials against all opposition here."
In some other related news, there has been some professional speculation over Pak Hak-Seop's potential future. "We did receive notice that some clubs are interested in signing him," says Coach Pak. "I've made it a firm policy that while any express interest would be entertained, we've made it team policy to postpone any transfer discussions until we've finished the World Cup. We don't want professional developments to distract any of our players, not even Pak Hak-Seop. We're nonetheless pleased to hear about this, and I'm sure that the players are all interested in continuing their professional careers as handball players." The coach was less receptive towards a possible future in a domestic league. "Right now, there's hardly discussion about the progress of the Imperial Football League - I'm pretty sure putting in a handball league is the least of their worries."
There was a mark of hope however. "Maybe if we win this thing, they'll do it."
***MAN HITS TIGER AFTER SWERVING TO AVOID SEVERAL ANIMALS
KONMYEONG - A local driver who tried to avoid crashing into a panda hit a tiger instead, a rural magistrate's office revealed. The accident occurred in a mountainous county in Sacheon Province amid strange circumstances, which saw the driver swerve six times over a 1500 meter section of road.
The driver reportedly swerved first to avoid a panda, which had come out onto the road. After the first turn, he claimed he swerved again to avoid hitting a unicorn, which had just thrust out of the bamboo forest. He swerved three more times to avoid hitting llama, a duck, and a Bazalope before finally failing to hit a tiger. While both the driver and the animal escaped the accident with minimal injuries, Imperial authorities are still tracking the tiger, which is believed to have sustained life-threatening injuries.
The man was later taken in for possible drunken driving and further toxicological examination. The panda, which was admittedly too slow to evade the scene, was taken in for further inquiries. The driver's insurance declined to indicate whether his coverage would have included incidental damage caused by mythological and legendary creatures.
Because life imitates NS too much sometimes...
***
Jang really liked the Morning Herald article. He liked it most that no one used one of his pen names. He liked it just as nicely as the article proclaimed the going-far-ness of the new commercial deal. Already, there have been whispers of a new international handball club competition - ripe for his taking. And in a few years, he would be the kingpin of a handball conspiracy that would transcend perhaps everything except the NS World Cup itself. But now he needed to talk to someone.
Teague Healy. It was a casual meeting with the head chief of the Organizing Committee. "I know we've just started our little arrangements, but I'm going to need a favor."
"Yes, Mr. Hong?"
"As you may well know, I have extensive contacts in the Han Empire. Many contacts. In fact, there's no place like home, like they say."
"Your voice is a little different today, are you feeling okay?"
"Of course, I'm fine. I've been talking a lot recently, trying to make things work for you. But I need some help. There's going to be a lot of attention directed to the Han-Cotdelapoms game. Everyone expects them to win. But you know... it's hard to run this business when fixtures are so undetermined. Terribly hard to predict demand. If the Han lose against Cotdelapoms, I'll lose contracts for the semifinals. You know how it is." Hong took a quick pause. "You're the country going on to the quarterfinals, one match from the semifinals. But then they lose, and everyone goes back to their normal routines, no one cares any more. It's hard for broadcasters to guarantee spots when the fixture schedule is so fickle. And then when they do guarantee it and the fixture is one that no one wants to watch, how do they compensate for the lost viewership? They need some assurances."
"Assurances? If they wanted assurances, they should have put their money in a bank," Teague replied.
"But I'm gambling man, Mr. Healy," Hong said. "And I like my odds." He pulled out a piece of paper. "25-1. How do I tell my networks that the Han Empire is going to be in the semifinals with those kinds of odds? I need something to help strengthen my case. Assurances. More than assurances, maybe."
"What do you mean then?"
"I need a sure thing."
Teague was flabbergast. "You don't say that word in this business, and... and.. mean it."
"I mean it." Hong said. He proceeded on a slow walk around Teague. "You know, I've discovered some things about Ancharmunn. It's a very lovely place. The people, universally accommodating. But there's one thing that I can always rely upon. You're always looking forward. Progressive minded folk, and everyone looking to the big promotion. In the end, it's something that I can admire. No matter what it takes, you will always do the right thing to get you from here... to there." Of course, Hong was metaphorically speaking. And Teague seemed to catch every little nuanced bit of condescending allegory. He had the opportunity to cut his losses, but the fact was - he had few options. "I know you'll do the right thing. Because I know now that the Han will defeat Cotdelapoms. And you'll have guaranteed the success of the Handball World Cup - I hear they're going to inaugurate the next biggest thing in sporting events. I know you'll want to be on the front pages with that sort of deal. We can make that work all out for you. We just need your assurances."
"I'll need to think about it," Teague said. "These assurances might be a wee bit wieldy."
"I understand perfectly," Hong said. "I'll leave you to think about it. And you know - I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. The Han will win. And I know you'll do the right thing."
Hong left Teague alone to ponder over his options. And the reality was that he really didn't need to do anything. Jang had calculated it perfectly - basic game theory, as it were. There were two choices for Teague, but Jang was only concerned about the results - a Han win. If Teague fixed the results, the Han were sure to win, 1-all odds. If Teague did not fix the results, there was still that 25-1 odd. Better than 1-1 odds - he liked that math.
"What if the Han lose?" asked his curious associates.
Jang smiled. "I have a back-up plan."
