Ninth Handball World Cup (RP, Squads, Scores)

[Thatius]

"ALLEZ!" roared Christophe Leverdez as Thatius scored to take the lead 30-22 against Lymantatia in the final minutes of the fourth match of the tournament.

"Dad, sit down, you're embarrassing me," remarked Christophe's fifteen year-old son, Nicolas, who beckoned for his father to sit back in his chair. Christophe grumbled his displeasure and obeyed his son.

"You gotta show some national pride, son," he told Nicolas as he sat down. "You know, show that you are passionate about being a Thatian."

"I am, but I don't have to stand up and yell 'allez' to get that message across. I like waving our flag or clapping and cheering for our team. But making a fool out of myself, I'll pass, dad," Nicolas replied.

Céline Leverdez, Nicolas' mother and Christophe's wife, rolled her eyes as the two continued bickering.

"Can't you two watch the game?" she said, trying to change the conversation. "Oh look here comes number twenty about to score. Uhh...what's his name?"

"Nikčević," Nicolas supplied.

"Yeah, that's him. And he scores! I can't believe we're about to win!" said Céline, delighted.

Now it was time for Christophe to roll his eyes. "Honey, please don't tell me you like Nikčević just because of his looks. He's not that great of a handballer."

His wife shot back: "And that's a problem why? You all do that whenever we go to a women's sporting event. Just remember when we went to Emberton to watch Thatius' beach volleyball pairs play? Yeah, you were definitely eyeing Katarzyna Luczko's -"

"MOM!" interjected Nicolas, now wanting to change the subject himself. "Man, you guys are just so weird. Just watch the end of the game, we're about to win."

Two minutes later, the time ran out and the referees ended the game. The Thatian players, elated that they won their second game in a row, shook each other's hands and embraced. They were only one match against Taeshan away from a spot in the knockout rounds! The final score on the scoreboard read: THATIUS 32 - 24 LYMANTATIA

"Hey Nick, why don't you see if you can go get their autographs like all those other kids are doing?" asked Nicolas' father.

"But I don't have a pen or anything to let them sign with," Nicolas replied, meanwhile searching his pockets for a pen. No luck.

"Just try to steal a pen from one of those other kids while they get their stuff autographed. You don't want to miss this opportunity. Just push your way through there for me."

Céline pursed her lips, disapproving. "We'll watch you from here. Just don't get into a fight!"

Nicolas hurried down to the front row, where Thatius' handball players were talking with reporters or giving out autographs to the hungry fans below. He pushed his way through them, hoping to get to the front and to see Marko Dragunski. Of course, there was Dragunski, all sweaty from the game, but smiling away as he signed kids' T-shirts, handballs, or pieces of paper. He finally got around to Nicolas and signed Nicola's team Thatius handball that he had brought with him from home.

"Kid, where you from?" asked Marko Dragunski, making note of his Amorgos United Handball shirt.

"Vranos, but I hope to play handball in Amorgos one day," Nicolas replied, startled that one of his favorite handball players was talking to him.

"Oh really?" asked Marko, leaning in close to whisper in Nicolas' ear. "Don't tell anyone this, but I'm transferring to Amorgos United next month, after the World Cup. I wanted to move back and play on a handball team on Île-de-Nord." Now leaning back, Marko raised his voice: "Would you like to come and see me? I could get your family free tickets and all."

Speechless, Nicolas nodded his head. A few moments later he regained his ability to speak: "Wow. That would be amazing! Thank you!"

Laughing, Marko replied: "No problem, kid. I like to do this kind of thing. Just write down your address here and I'll get some tickets to you. How many do you need?"

"Three. Me and my parents."

"Sounds good. Take care kid," Marko said, giving the pen back to another kid, as he made his way back to the bench to pick up his water bottle. Nicolas could not believe what had just happened. Marko Dragunski, one of the top Thatian handballers, had offered to give he and his parents free tickets to the first Amorgos United game of the season. Nicolas sprinted up the stairs as fast as he could to reach his parents.

"What happened Nick?" his father, Christophe, asked. "It seems like Dragunski talked to you personally."

Nicolas smiled and nodded. "He spotted my T-Shirt. Offered to give us free tickets to the next Amorgos United game."

"But he plays for Frederikstadt FC. Why Amorgos United?" questioned Christophe.

"Shh!"

"Ah, I see. Well, I can't believe this just happened. I guess Nick should get autographs more often!"

[Free South Califas]

Group A
San Bernadino 24–29 Westside
Garden Grove 27–27 Costa Mesa
Little Tokyo 28–24 Murrieta
West Covina 29–25 South San Diego
El Monte 27–24 Glendale
Riverside 24–29 Palmdale

Group B
Escondido 24–25 Fontana
Rancho Cucamonga 25–33 Oceanside
Norwalk 32–32 Simi Valley
El Cajon 27–24 Corona
Huntington Beach 28–31 Fullerton
San Diego 31–27 Thousand Oaks

Group C
Orange 31–27 Burbank
South Gate 24–24 Torrance
Santa Clarita 22–30 Anaheim
Pomona 26–26 Santa Ana
Long Beach 26–24 Irvine
Moreno Valley 22–24 Pasadena

Group D
Carlsbad 24–27 Downey
Vista 25–21 Temecula
Compton 28–28 Los Angeles
Ontario 29–26 Oxnard
Lancaster 23–24 Inglewood
Chula Vista 27–29 Ventura
Group A
Westside 29–31 Palmdale
Glendale 30–32 Riverside
South San Diego 24–24 El Monte
Murrieta 34–30 West Covina
Costa Mesa 30–29 Little Tokyo
San Bernadino 25–24 Garden Grove

Group B
Fontana 29–24 Thousand Oaks
Fullerton 30–24 San Diego
Corona 22–29 Huntington Beach
Simi Valley 23–25 El Cajon
Oceanside 22–28 Norwalk
Escondido 29–24 Rancho Cucamonga

Group C
Burbank 34–29 Pasadena
Irvine 36–29 Moreno Valley
Santa Ana 31–23 Long Beach
Anaheim 29–21 Pomona
Torrance 30–27 Santa Clarita
Orange 23–32 South Gate

Group D
Downey 24–23 Ventura
Inglewood 23–28 Chula Vista
Oxnard 27–27 Lancaster
Los Angeles 29–33 Ontario
Temecula 23–33 Compton
Carlsbad 23–22 Vista
Group A
Garden Grove 32–29 Westside
Little Tokyo 24–24 San Bernadino
West Covina 27–22 Costa Mesa
El Monte 30–23 Murrieta
Riverside 39–23 South San Diego
Palmdale 25–25 Glendale

Group B
Rancho Cucamonga 29–24 Fontana
Norwalk 22–32 Escondido
El Cajon 21–24 Oceanside
Huntington Beach 28–35 Simi Valley
San Diego 29–29 Corona
Thousand Oaks 21–32 Fullerton

Group C
South Gate 24–27 Burbank
Santa Clarita 32–29 Orange
Pomona 32–29 Torrance
Long Beach 22–24 Anaheim
Moreno Valley 28–32 Santa Ana
Pasadena 24–35 Irvine

Group D
Vista 29–27 Downey
Compton 26–22 Carlsbad
Ontario 20–27 Temecula
Lancaster 29–23 Los Angeles
Chula Vista 33–26 Oxnard
Ventura 24–24 Inglewood
Group A
Westside 30–24 Glendale
South San Diego 32–25 Palmdale
Murrieta 21–29 Riverside
Costa Mesa 28–21 El Monte
San Bernadino 28–27 West Covina
Garden Grove 24–24 Little Tokyo

Group B
Fontana 32–21 Fullerton
Corona 28–24 Thousand Oaks
Simi Valley 27–27 San Diego
Oceanside 25–29 Huntington Beach
Escondido 24–29 El Cajon
Rancho Cucamonga 27–29 Norwalk

Group C
Burbank 27–29 Irvine
Santa Ana 22–28 Pasadena
Anaheim 29–30 Moreno Valley
Torrance 26–23 Long Beach
Orange 32–27 Pomona
South Gate 25–31 Santa Clarita

Group D
Downey 24–31 Inglewood
Oxnard 24–28 Ventura
Los Angeles 29–29 Chula Vista
Temecula 28–25 Lancaster
Carlsbad 29–36 Ontario
Vista 34–30 Compton
.   Group A               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Riverside               4    3   0   1   124  103  +21     9
 2 Costa Mesa              4    2   1   1   107  104   +3     7
 3 El Monte                4    2   1   1   102   99   +3     7
 4 Palmdale                4    2   1   1   110  110    0     7 (17 PV Adamu Felina)
 5 San Bernadino           4    2   1   1   101  104   −3     7
 6 Westside                4    2   0   2   117  111   +6     6
 7 West Covina             4    2   0   2   113  109   +4     6
 8 Little Tokyo            4    1   2   1   105  102   +3     5
 9 Garden Grove            4    1   2   1   107  105   +2     5
10 South San Diego         4    1   1   2   104  117  −13     4 (04 CB Kasper Schroeter)
11 Murrieta                4    1   0   3   102  117  −15     3
12 Glendale                4    0   1   3   103  114  −11     1

.  Group B               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Fontana                 4    3   0   1   110   98  +12     9 (02 LW Eoghan Bentsen)
 2 Fullerton               4    3   0   1   114  105   +9     9
 3 El Cajon                4    3   0   1   102   95   +7     9
 4 Norwalk                 4    2   1   1   111  113   −2     7
 5 Escondido               4    2   0   2   109  100   +9     6
 6 Huntington Beach        4    2   0   2   114  113   +1     6
 7 Oceanside               4    2   0   2   104  103   +1     6
 8 Simi Valley             4    1   2   1   117  112   +5     5
 9 San Diego               4    1   2   1   111  113   −2     5 (16 RW Jose Menendez)
10 Corona                  4    1   1   2   103  109   −6     4
11 Rancho Cucamonga        4    1   0   3   105  115  −10     3
12 Thousand Oaks           4    0   0   4    96  120  −24     0

.  Group C               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Irvine                  4    3   0   1   124  106  +18     9 (12 LW Simeone Di Pietro)
 2 Anaheim                 4    3   0   1   112   95  +17     9 (01 GK Gamal Lunete, 14 CB Hyginos Schräder)
 3 Santa Ana               4    2   1   1   111  105   +6     7
 4 Torrance                4    2   1   1   109  106   +3     7
 5 Burbank                 4    2   0   2   115  113   +2     6
 6 Santa Clarita           4    2   0   2   112  114   −2     6 (11 GK Conrad Elisa)
 7 Orange                  4    2   0   2   115  118   −3     6
 8 Pasadena                4    2   0   2   105  113   −8     6
 9 South Gate              4    1   1   2   105  105    0     4
10 Pomona                  4    1   1   2   106  116  −10     4
11 Long Beach              4    1   0   3    94  105  −11     3
12 Moreno Valley           4    1   0   3   109  121  −12     3

.  Group D               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vista                   4    3   0   1   110  101   +9     9
 2 Ontario                 4    3   0   1   118  111   +7     9 (03 LB Pankaja Nando, 15 RB Justin Pantaleone)
 3 Chula Vista             4    2   1   1   117  107  +10     7 (13 LB Sabia Vere)
   Compton                 4    2   1   1   117  107  +10     7
 5 Ventura                 4    2   1   1   104   99   +5     7
 6 Inglewood               4    2   1   1   102   99   +3     7
 7 Temecula                4    2   0   2    99  103   −4     6
 8 Downey                  4    2   0   2   102  107   −5     6
 9 Lancaster               4    1   1   2   104  102   +2     4
10 Carlsbad                4    1   0   3    98  111  −13     3
11 Los Angeles             4    0   2   2   109  119  −10     2
12 Oxnard                  4    0   1   3   103  117  −14     1

OOC note: I lost the former teams that Alycia Blazej, Carlo Cernunnos and Hakate Kavanah played for in FSC before going abroad. Oops...

[Free South Califas]

QUALIFIED
Cotdelapoms
The Han Empire
Sicoutimont

ELIMINATED
Mark50
Slembana
Vamprica/Krumbia
Saer Republic
Michael VII
Thrilledge
Krytenia
West Tyland
N.R. Egypt
Vettrera
Rennidan
Prusai
Passo Tonale

---

Hakkland 24–24 Free South Califas
Deahanjeiguk 31–27 Free South Califas

The Harvest Mice suffered their first draw and loss of the tournament, still looking good in second place but needing to win against hangers-on Camwood in the final game of the group stage to advance. Camwood can only advance by beating the Mice by a big margin and hoping for a Hakkland-Carmadin draw, which is an unlikely combined scenario. However, Hakkland or Carmadin can advance on points with a win and a Harvest Mice loss, or on tiebreakers with a big win and a Harvest Mice draw. (Or a draw and a Mice loss.) All told, South Califas must be the favorite to advance from the group at this point, but things are far from set in stone.

[Free South Califas]

A few players at the Handball World Cup have switched nations of employment in the last week, here summarized as regards the Federated Communities and Economies of the Ten Counties of Free South Califas:

FSC #07 PV Hakate Kavanah goes to Carmadin (club TBD)
FSC #05 RB Alycia Blazej goes to Cyborg Holland (Amzterdam Historical Gladiators)
FSC #06 RW Carlo Cernunnos goes to Cyborg Holland (Brullik University Sea-Dragons)
Carmadin GK Ahlaehzhaht Kahlehtuu arrives to South San Diego (FSC)

[Ancharmunn]

To say that Jarlath Moynihan had been a little agitated by his little rendezvous last night would be some way short of an understatement. Such was the extent that he'd thought it over and over in his mind overnight that he'd given up trying to sleep and for once had arrived into his office not just on time, but early. Now that it'd done any good to his productivity, for the fifth time this morning he was standing outside the back doors of the Morning Herald offices twiddling a poorly rolled cigarette between the thumb and forefinger in one hand and the small vial of poison he'd been given in the other hand.

Raising the cigarette to his mouth and the vial to his eye he gave out a cough, one made worse given that he'd tried to suppress it.

“You know, if you're going to spend all day smoking you might as well actually inhale it properly, not just suck on it and blow.”

It was Líadáin, his PA. Young, petite, with a great figure and something of a bitchy attitude she was in many ways Jarlath's perfect woman. The only trouble was that she wouldn't put out, at least not for him.

“You seem pretty agitated,” she continued whilst lighting her own cigarette, “you alright?”

“Yeah, fine.” Jarlath instantly replied. It was plainly a lie, though one more of a defensive instinct than any desire to hide anything. Jarlath Moynihan was the Morning Herald's top sports writer, he got the best exclusives and the interviews people wanted to read. He was the heir to Killian McVitie's throne at the Herald. Sod that bastard Ruadhrí Mac Suibhne, Jarlath Moynihan was the best sodding journalist in Ancharmunn, and probably Tyneala. Of course he was fine.

Except he wasn't, not that his PA particularly cared or wanted to know. Before Jarlath's hesitation had had a chance to kick in and change his answer Líadáin was already well on her way to trying to set his agenda for the rest of the day.

“Well that's splendid then. You're fine, I'm fine, we're all fine and can get on with the day. When you're done pretending you smoke you've got an interview with Peigín Ní Chonghaile.”

“Peigín Ní Chonghaile?”

“Aye, synchronised swimmer. Part of the bronze winning duet at the Olympics. Sounds verrrry exciting.”

“I know who she is, fuck her. Who cares about fecking synchronised swimming.”

“Well she's in reception. Now. Waiting for you to do that interview you arranged with her.”

Synchronised bloody swimming? No one had given a damn when Peigín Ní Chonghaile and Seárón Breathnach had won that bronze medal. Not even that it was Ancharmunn's first ever Olympic medal made anyone care. Most people had instead been bemused that the country's first medal had come in something so baffling to them. An interview with a synchronised swimmer was no place for a top quality journalist like Jarlath Moynihan, perhaps though he could turn the meeting he'd been requested to set up into something.

“Don't care, tell the bitch to fuck off. I want a real bloody story.”

“Alright, I'll just go and tell her you're really sorry, but you're an absolute twat and can't see her. I'm suuure she won't mind.”

“Fine by me. Líadán, hold on.” By now she'd already discarded her cigarette and was on her way to inform an Olympic medallist that her achievement meant sod all to the nation's self-proclaimed greatest sports writer. “You wouldn't happen to know of any good restaurants would you? Somewhere maybe less well known, somewhere people might want to go for a private, maybe intimate conversation.”

“Ha! Good try, you think that's going to work? I don't care how you ask it, I'm not going out with you.”

Jarlath gave a apathetic shrug.

“You'll want to eventually, I can wait. Wasn't asking you to anyway, just book a table for a group somewhere, alright.”

With his PA running off to faithfully carry out her duties Jarlath took out another cigarette as well as his phone. He didn't have Teague Healy's number, as far as he was concerned Healy was an irrelevant eejit and someone whose number he'd had no need for. Until now at least, a few calls to contacts however and it shouldn't be too difficult to get the number.

In the end though, it would prove a bit more difficult to get in contact with Healy. Jarlath it turned out wasn't the only one who saw him as irrelevant, but after a time which could be measured as a few more cigarettes he'd finally got it. He typed the number into his phone and dialled.

“Teague! Good to get through to you mate! It's Jarlath Moynihan here from the Morning Herald, I see that langer Ruadhrí Mac Suibhne's been criticising your fine running of the Handball World Cup without giving you the chance to reply. So, how about I make you an offer, you meet me for dinner tonight and I give you a double page spread in tomorrow's Herald?”

[Sicoutimont]

Royales Dominate Group H At Handball Tournament
ANCHURMUNN-Only 3 teams in the world have qualified for the playoff stage at the 9th Handball World Cup. Cotdelapoms, the Olympic Champions, Daehenjeiguk, and-Sicoutimont. Defeating the hosts 34-24 last night here at the National Handball Arena, Sicoutimont are now 4-0 in this tournament. With only 1 game to go against Union Isle, Les Royales look to go 5-0 in the tourny. It won't matter, however. Union Isle have been eliminated from contention, and Sicoutimont have qualified. The game will be for pride, to see if Les Royales can go unbeaten into the playoffs. Back to the game against the hosts, Xavier Berube continued to dominate the teams in Group H, scoring 12 goals against the Anchurmunn team. Pierre Cartier, however, led the team this game with 14 goals and 6 assists. Anchurmunn couldn't get anything going this game, however, losing by 10 points. Georges Simon scored 3 goals and Kevin Deslauriers scored 5 goals to round out the scoring for the Royales. Team leaders are below.

Team Leaders
1-X. Berube, 46 goals
2. Pierre Cartier, 36 goals
3. Herbert Villeneuve, 21 goals
4. Kevin Deslauriers, 17 goals
5. Georges Simon, 15 goals

As stated before, Sicoutimont's next game is against Union Isle. However, we first must go to the postgame comments. Controversial again, Xavier Berube: "Well, I think I played a great game, so did Pierre. We beat that team, me and Pierre, on our own! 'Course we can beat Union Isle, we don't even know their roster! 'Could be a good thing for them, eh?" Oh, Xavier. Your comments always seem to stir something up. Coach Girard Giguere, when asked about Berube's future, said: "Well, he has had a good tournament. I'm sure that if he keeps this up into the playoffs, he'll have a few foreign offers on the table. However, he'll need to stay consistant, against Union Isle, and in the playoffs against better teams." The game against Union Isle will not be televised, but an online stream will be offered by 2 websites: SicoutianSportsNow.scm, and handballsicoutimont.scm. Read tomorrow's paper for a full catch-up on the game!

[Maron]

The Handball World Cup Review Show presented by The Royal Bank of Maron


"Hello everyone, and welcome to the Handball World Cup Review Show presented by The Royal Bank of Maron, I'm James Cole, and alongside me is legendary Handballer on the women's side, Chloe Sullivan. And Chloe, after a small bump in the road after game three, Maron came out and dominated for most of the game, winning 25-22 in game four, putting Maron a point away from knockout round play"

"Exactly James, Maron's Handball team has proven that they can and will be a strong force to reckon with in years to come, this might be their year, but I think its just wonderful that Maron has been fighting so hard, in their first international tournament, and with His Majesty's appearance at the last game, I think its been a very good motivator for team and country. Hopefully with another victory the Maronians, will succeed and finish top of the table. Only Time will tell.

"Folks, I hope that you are ready for a wonderful tournament, because This is just the beginning. We'll have more later on from the Ninth Handball World Cup, and We'll have all the latest updates throughout the day on this the Maron Sports Channel. Thank you for joining us."

[Daehanjeiguk]

Roster
Group D
MD1: 34-18 v Camwood [Cashlauncarriga]
MD2: 29-12 v Hakkland [Cashlauncarriga]
MD3: 32-29 v Krytenia [Cashlauncarriga]
MD4: 31-27 v Free South Califas [Cashlauncarriga]
MD5: v Carmadin [Cashlauncarriga]
R16: v ??? [Cashlauncarriga]

THE NEXT ROUND BECKONS
HAN HANDBALL SQUAD DEFEAT FREE SOUTH CALIFAS AND SEIZES TOP SPOT IN GROUP

CASHLAUNCARRIGA - Facing a cricket ban following the disastrous consequences of the last match, the stands were surprisingly empty in a rickety arena for a group-clinching match between the two heavyweights in Group D. The Han narrowly avoided defeat against bottom-feeders Krytenia in the last match, while Free South Califas surrendered their first point to Hakkland. In the end, the game was high-scoring, but short of high-profile, high-testy skills and tricks. Perhaps But the tournament continues to prove a break-out for hidden handball-talent Kim Hak-seop. When the tournament began, there was no telling how this team would react, but Kim seems to have taken to extreme measures, demonstrating almost immaculate vision and fine technique to control where and when the balls goes around the court.

"He's turned into a real team leader," Head Coach Pak Seung-Ho said. "I figure he would make an excellent pivot on a professional squad, although he's such a novice that he could really fill any spot on the team. But while we're all talking about his attacking play, I suppose it's fair to mention he's improved his defensive work substantially. Because he knows the sort of runs that he would make, he can anticipate and pick out those coming from the opposition. He was phenomenal today, picking out six shots against Free South Califas today. That's six shots Pak Song-Gil didn't have to save. We won by six goals today. I need not say anything more."

Pak Seung-Ho was a little more apprehensive about Kim's future as a professional. "It's hard to say. Many professional clubs are reluctant to sign amateurs, because they can be one-hit wonders. The reality - I think Kim is the real deal. If this tournament becomes a regular habit, Kim Hak-Seop will become a handball star. And that's really all you can hope for in a sport that's marginalized in the Empire."

But to say that Kim Hak-Seop is a one-man show is hardly the truth. "This team is one of the best in the world," Coach Pak Seung-Ho shamelessly boasts. "And we can only get better. It's rare you can find raw talent and cut enough away to turn them into sparkling diamonds. But they're all great players, and they all shine brilliantly." It is perhaps best said that the Han are at their best fighting together. A great defense translates into great offense. The statistics concur as the Han have shown dominance in every field, scoring often and defending hard. It is this potent combination that has led to the Handball World Cup's strongest stats: 1st in goal difference (+40), 1st in least goals allowed (86), and 2nd in most goals scored (126, behind Sicoutimont - 129).

Statistics can indicate many things about the qualities hidden in a team, but the most telling statistic is the wins statistic. Undefeated so far in Group D, the Han have clinched top spot in Group D, with Free South Califas unable to overturn a 3 point deficit. This statistic may prove significant in the long run, since the current elimination run would put the Han against a potential quarterfinal tie against Cotdelapoms, the current Olympic handball champions and widely believed to be among the top contenders as Handball World Cup champions. There are many other countries that can rightly be called championship contenders, but of these, Cotdelapoms has the most extensive professional Handball League, with players from at least six different countries participating in the league. Understandably, Cotdelapoms lead their Group undefeated and outscoring their opponents by 6 points on average (their latest win over group contenders, Taijan, was a single goal), and still remain Cup favorites. Led by their talismanic captain, Luc Rodrigues, Cotdelapoms will be a significant challenge wherever and whenever the Han may face them.

Undoubtedly, it will require a win from the Han in their Eighth-finals against potential Group E opponents, the Babbage Islands. Things at this moment are very fluid, but if the current standings hold, the Babbage Islands will host an experienced team, not unlike that from Cotdelapoms (incidentally, many of their players play professionally in the Cotdelapoms Handball league). However, the team has not performed at their best, so one can hope for the Han that the team chemistry does not gel in time for that possible clash. It also remains entirely likely that the Han may face current Group E leaders, Yesopalitha - an inexperience and amateurish squad, and much like the Han, an unknown factor on the court.

Before then, the Han will want to finish Group D with one last win, against Carmadin. After that, every match will be equally important - a win means progress with the hope to win something more; a loss is a ticket back home.

***

ILLEGAL FIREWORKS DISPLAY KILLS 12, FORTY-SEVEN OTHERS INJURED

GYEONGJU - A brilliant fireworks display dazzled the skies of Gyeongju after curfew hours. Spectators watched from apartment perches from as far away as the Jugang District as five minutes of explosions filled the night sky. The only problem? It was an unauthorized display of explosives.

Imperial authorities quickly traced the display to a burning barge near Hyanghang Bay, where a collective group of individuals were arrested at the scene. Some of the alleged perpetrators were sent to the hospital, while firefighting crews were brought to salvage the barge for persons and potential evidence. 5 individuals, thought to be victims of display act gone wrong, died at the scene before Imperial authorities arrived. A further seven individuals died en route to the hospital in Taepyeong-san District. As many as forty-seven other perpetrators and spectators were reportedly injured in the blasts. Having battled the blaze for nearly four hours, the Imperial Navy condemned the vessel after firefighters reported that the flames would reach the engine room. The vessel was sunk by the frigate IMS Kim Dae-Seong to prevent any further calatimous explosions.

"We must iterate orders under martial law - no explosives device may be used in the Gyeongju Special Metropolitan Area," Captain Yi Dong-Seok of the Imperial Navy said in a public statement, citing the need to prevent unauthorized transit of explosives material and also the public well-being. "Fireworks remain a real threat to domestic security, and improper handling can lead to serious injury and death. It is His Imperial Majesty's [the Yeongmu Emperor] wish to delay any celebrations with pyrotechnics displays until after a secure environment may be guaranteed for His Imperial Majesty's citizens. Until then, fireworks remain illegal contraband, and the Imperial Armed Forces will be extra vigilant to ensure another illicit display does not occur."

"The main reason why the military government doesn't want fireworks around the capital is because of the psychological trauma the city endured during the Shinhae War," says Prof. Wang Jun-Hwan, associate professor of Social Sciences at the Gyeongju University. "During the War, the capital survived a surprise artillery attack after [terrorists] acquired medium-range missile launchers and mobile howitzers. It was an embarrassment at the time, although I can imagine a band of scruffy delinquents on a barge might prove even more embarrassing. At least this situation was harmless."

Local residents seemed unfazed by the fireworks display. "It was a welcome departure from the normal cacophony in the city," says local mother Gweon Yun-Ji. "I thought it was beautiful." An old grandfather lent his support as well. "I say we've had enough silence for a while. New years without fireworks to drive away the [bad] spirits isn't good omens." Others were less sympathetic. "Those [psycho] kids could have caused a fire in a crowded neighborhood!" cries nursing attendant Gu Nam-Bi from Bokman District. "It's a marvel the Imperial Navy didn't just shoot the miscreants for causing all of this grief." A veteran of the Shinhae war and quadruple-limb amputee, Hong Sun-Choe reminded people of the Shinhae siege: "Some people have short memories. When I heard those rockets, I thought it was 4731 all over again!"

The magistrate in Taepyeong-san District has indicated he will entertain civil and criminal charges against the individuals allegedly responsible for this incident, although the Imperial Civil Defense Corps has indicated it will take some time to build a case, since most of the evidence disappeared when the Imperial Navy destroyed the barge in the name of public safety. "Unfortunately, we will need to rely upon eyewitness testimony," Investigator Deok Min-Sang said, further urging residents and citizens to report any information related to this incident.

***

Jang Sun-Baek easily discovered that Ancharmunn was a crooked country. The people there weren't naturally bad, but after apparent years of back-breaking labor without much significant personal reward, people seemed eager to turn a blind eye whenever money became involved. It started with the sweet old lady who loaned her attic loft. She didn't know that Jang was a cold-hearted brute. She probably could hardly spot his Han face, although his voice would have surely betrayed his ethnicity. Still, she held no grudges about a "fine young man" renting some unused dust space. As to why he chose to spend his time in Ancharmunn in the attic of an old lady's house in some forlorn neighborhood off the beaten path, it's best to say Jang was a complicated man.

The Han community in Ancharmunn was underdeveloped by a long way, mostly due to the ethnic homogeneity. The best that they could try was a relatively old dumpling shop, where an old man sold his specialty dumpling soup. The soup was a simple ox-tail base with fresh wrapped wonton dumplings in it, but it came in one of three flavours: mild, hot, and ho!mygod. Those in the know would try the dumpling challenge: drink a pint of the old man's ox blood wine (more like blood whiskey, he fortified oxblood with equal parts scotch) and eat a bowl of ho!mygod soup, dumplings and liquid all. It was Jang's first time in the Charmunny capital, and not firmly aware of these traditions, he went ahead and ordered the "challenge" without further thought.

The old man warned him in Haneo. "Not many people like the wine or the soup. Are you sure, stranger?"

Jang showed the old man a wad of cash. "I will pay you this money just so you never ask me that question again." The old man fetched the soup and wine flask, taking the money without another grumble. Jang inhaled the soup and washed it down with the blood wine. A few onlookers marvelled at his bold intrepidness to try the two things from that soup shop that were the most disturbing (one disturbingly hot, the other disturbingly disturbing...). But Jang was starting to get a little nervous. It was already the afternoon, and he had heard nothing from his contacts at the Morning Herald - let alone anywhere - all dry on information about this supposed dinner. He wasn't even sure if the dinner had been made yet. Still, he oozed confidence. If he didn't get the contact with Teague, there were other, less savory paths to the man. It was well known about the animosity between the Morning Herald and the Maudraiska Mirror, and if Jarlath Moynihan wouldn't give him an audience, perhaps Ruadhrí Mac Suibhne would be different. Of course, it was also well known how much more fiery Mac Suibhne was; it was equally likely he'd do the Morning Herald a favor and knock him out permanently.

The old man was a little surprised. "You must be one fresh off the boat," the old man said. "Tell me, how goes the Empire these days? I heard that there was war there, but I've been busy myself moving from the old country (Sorthern Northland) here. You must have heard about that calamity, haven't you?"

Jang turned to the old man. "I've heard plenty about calamity, but I've never had the opportunity to spy it. I'm quite blind to these things."

The old man nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know you couldn't see. But where is your staff?"

Jang lowered his shades on one side of his face, revealing his one good eye. "Heaven has graced me with one good eye, and I choose not to waste it on the plight of civilization. There is too much else to worry about." He returned the soup bowl and the wine flask. "It was very good, sir. My compliments to the cook."

The old man nodded and smiled. "Thank you, and may you have a blessed day."

"I already have." Jang walked down the street and headed into the main town. On the way, he got a call. "Sine Mairéad, 20:00, Table 93, party for three."

"Brilliant."

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

Ok, by this point, you do know who's at the desk.

JT: Welcome to SportsNation in the 'noon. I'm Jordan Tracey, Lane Kevins isn't apparently the big "stud muffin" he thought he was and has come down with the flu.

You may have noticed that this isn't the same set and we're all accustomed to, because we're on location at the Green Dome reporting tonight, instead of our Capital-Location studio. Why would we do this? to celebrate the JUR's 3rd win in a row against Passo Tonale 32-26 last night. In effect, we have eliminated Passo Tonale from the tournament and, at the same time, tied ourselves for first place with Licentiapacisterra with 8 points.

Our next game is against the tied-for-second Civil Citizenry. We'll talk to our special guest about that game and much more. But first, Group A has suffered two knockouts today, Prusai and Passo Tonale (The latter I mentioned before) has been mathematically eliminated from the competition. The JUR played, and beat, both teams which contributed to their eventual elimination from the tournament.

Also note worthy is that if the JUR beats Civil Citizenry, it is a guarantee that we'll either take 2nd or first in the group, hence qualifying the JUR into the knockout rounds. Here to talk about this, among various other issues, Team JUR member, Julius Jacobson (JJ).

Julius, you just came from the locker room, is the enthusiasm still high? Is morale good?

JJ: From what I'm looking at, it is. And I'm sure my friends are watching me here from back home, so that's always been an inspiration, not just for me but for the team as well.

JT: Is the stress on when you know this is your do or die moment? You can clinch it all right here or you can play another game?

JJ: The stress isn't on for me, I'm sure it is for the other players. Nick is in the locker room with the Christopher brothers praying for hours on end, just hoping that we can clinch this victory. The reason the stress isn't on for me, per se, is that I have confidence in my abilities and my pure passion to compete. I used it as a youth, and, as you can see by the goal difference, I'm using it now to either score goals or score assists, and I just have to thank God for that.

JT: You mentioned your youth. As your biography shows, you didn't have that good of one, I'm aware.

JJ: Don't get me wrong, it was a good youth, but I had to grow up in poverty and used this sport to get out of it.

JT: To many people, poverty and happiness can't co exist. Explain what you mean?

JJ: It does, just because I grew up poor, doesn't mean I couldn't have fun. We found an old soccer ball in an alley and I'd gather around the kids and we'd play a game that we all thought I made up *chuckles*. That game quickly turned into my profession and when an UJHL scout saw me, he immediately contacted his boss and boom... I was signed for a $850,000 dollar a year contract to play. Doesn't sound like much, but its alot to a person who still lives with his mom.

JT: After you won your 2nd game, you released a telegram which implies the other teammates were given this opportunity to be on the team, whilst you earned it. While noone can deny you earned it, do you honestly think that their memberships on their respective UJHL team handed to them on a silver platter?

JJ: You got it completely wrong. I meant that my comrades were able to go to training and have their parents pay for their training whilst I learned it on the street. I love my teammates, and the UJHL as a whole. I just think I unlocked my talents earlier through a more gruesome process than they did. I just want to be a shining example of what it looks like to come from quite literally nothing and become one of the stars in the UJHL and then play for the nation.

JT: We are aware there is a foreign player on your team, Kyung Yun-Ki is from a far off country. How is he adapting?

JJ: He has already adapted, as far as I see. He is a wonderful defender and a good friend to me. I have no fear that he will become a pivotal player in this Cup, his UJHL team has never won a championship, so if he can bring home the Cup, along with the Golds, imagine how excited he would be. He had accomplished what any immigrant would want--- I'm sorry, what any red blooded Jahistic, immigrant or natural born would want. Especially if we go to the Olympics next year (which we plan of doing) and he can take home another medal there. As one of his closest friends and his roommate, I know that is what he would want.

JT: Thank you for your time, Julius, good luck tonight. The pride of our people depends on you.

JJ: Thanks for having me.

JT: We'll be back after the game tonight, be sure to not miss it. I'm Jordan Tracey, good night from the Green Dome.

[Anollasia]

The Jefferton Chronicle

Wed. Aug. 15th, 2012

SPORTS

---

''Pray Tommorow, Gets Me Higher!''

Anollasians have been amazed at how well the anollasian handball team was doing in the 9th Handball World Cup, especially during Ramadan.
Not all the players are muslim, but the muslim ones were the ones that scored most of the goals. During Ramadan, you fast. Eat in the evening, eat in the night, and not eating or drinking anything in between.
So, due to that your body feels a little tired.

Right Back player, Remzi Topul has stated, ''Well, I pray for an hour, every night. God gives me the power to play, when I pray. Pray to play!''
It turns out the rest of the team has been praying, as well.
Queen got the song, ''Under Pressure'' written accurately.
''Pray tomorrow, gets me higher!''

Written by James Silver

[Ancharmunn]

For the final time in the group stage, here's the cutoff.

[Ancharmunn]

Group A
Mapletish 23–29 Licentiapacisterra
Passo Tonale 28–30 Prusai
Civil Citizenry 24–29 The Jahistic Unified Republic

. Group A                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Licentiapacisterra                  5   4  0  1  140 121 +19    8 Q
2 The Jahistic Unified Republic       5   4  0  1  147 129 +18    8 Q
3 Mapletish                           5   2  0  3  134 145 −11    4
4 Civil Citizenry                     5   2  0  3  131 137  −6    4
5 Prusai                              5   2  0  3  141 142  −1    4
6 Passo Tonale                        5   1  0  4  129 148 −19    2

Licentiapacisterra finish ahead of The Jahistic Unified Republic due the matchday one meeting between the team's having been won by Licentiapacisterra.

Group B
Maron 30–24 The Holy Empire
Rennidan 27–29 Vettrera
Boriem 24–32 Anollasia

. Group B                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Maron                               5   4  0  1  135 127  +8    8 Q
2 Anollasia                           5   3  1  1  142 129 +13    7 Q
3 Boriem                              5   3  0  2  140 127 +13    6
4 Vettrera                            5   2  0  3  131 134  −3    4
5 The Holy Empire                     5   2  0  3  117 130 −13    4
6 Rennidan                            5   0  1  4  125 143 −18    1

Group C
Cotdelapoms 28–21 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 27–25 Taijan
West Tyland 25–28 New Republic of Egypt

. Group C                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Cotdelapoms                         5   5  0  0  147 115 +32   10 Q
2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega              5   3  0  2  134 135  −1    6 Q
3 Taijan                              5   3  0  2  133 124  +9    6
4 The Royal Kingdom of Quebec         5   2  0  3  130 131  −1    4
5 New Republic of Egypt               5   1  0  4  121 142 −21    2
6 West Tyland                         5   1  0  4  115 133 −18    2

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega qualify ahead of Taijan having won the meeting between the two sides in the final round of group matches.

Group D
Carmadin 20–30 Daehanjeiguk
Hakkland 33–24 Krytenia
Free South Califas 24–24 Camwood

. Group D                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Daehanjeiguk                        5   5  0  0  156 106 +50   10 Q
2 Free South Califas                  5   2  2  1  139 123 +16    6 Q
3 Hakkland                            5   2  2  1  125 125   0    6
4 Carmadin                            5   2  0  3  114 132 −18    4
5 Camwood                             5   1  2  2  115 133 −18    4
6 Krytenia                            5   0  0  5  119 149 −30    0

With the matchday 3 match between Free South Califas and Hakkland having finished in a draw Free South Califas qualify due to having had the better goal difference across all group stage matches.

Group E
Equestrian States 26–24 Polar Islandstates
Thrilledge 25–28 Darmen
Yesopalitha 28–23 The Babbage Islands

. Group E                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Yesopalitha                         5   4  0  1  134 127  +7    8 Q
2 Equestrian States                   5   3  0  2  126 123  +3    6 Q
3 Darmen                              5   3  0  2  127 127   0    6
4 The Babbage Islands                 5   2  1  2  130 128  +2    5
5 Polar Islandstates                  5   1  1  3  129 126  +3    3
6 Thrilledge                          5   1  0  4  123 138 −15    2

The penultimate match proved to be key for Equestrian States, with them having beaten Darmen 24-21 in that round and thus beating them on head to head.

Group F
Thatius 29–28 Taeshan
Urszag-Csatoria 27–28 Lymantatia
Saer Republic 24–31 Michael VII

. Group F                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Thatius                             5   4  0  1  142 134  +8    8 Q
2 Lymantatia                          5   4  0  1  137 127 +10    8 Q
3 Urszag-Csatoria                     5   3  0  2  133 125  +8    6
4 Taeshan                             5   2  0  3  127 131  −4    4
5 Michael VII                         5   1  0  4  120 124  −4    2
6 Saer Republic                       5   1  0  4  119 137 −18    2

Lymnatatia and Thatius met on matchday 4, the victory for Thatius there means they win the group on head to head record.

Group G
Vamprican-Krumbian Confederacy 26–29 Slembana
Mark50 23–21 Saugeais
Falconfar 27–29 Cyborg Holland

. Group G                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Cyborg Holland                      5   4  1  0  149 127 +22    9 Q
2 Falconfar                           5   3  0  2  136 127  +9    6 Q
3 Mark50                              5   2  1  2  130 134  −4    5
4 Saugeais                            5   2  0  3  124 129  −5    4
5 Slembana                            5   2  0  3  139 141  −2    4
6 Vamprican-Krumbian Confederacy      5   1  0  4  121 141 −20    2

Group H
Ancharmunn 32–24 Megadia
Union Isle 20–30 Sicoutimont
Conservative World 30–24 Liventia

. Group H                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sicoutimont                         5   5  0  0  159 116 +43   10 Q
2 Ancharmunn                          5   2  0  3  137 136  +1    4 Q
3 Conservative World                  5   2  0  3  130 138  −8    4
4 Union Isle                          5   2  0  3  125 136 −11    4
5 Megadia                             5   2  0  3  133 139  −6    4
6 Liventia                            5   2  0  3  124 143 −19    4

Sicoutimont's perfect record means their matches are effectively discounted to settle the second qualification place. With each of the remaining five teams winning two matches a piece the tiebreaker comes down to head to head goal difference, on which Ancharmunn come out on top.

Round of sixteen fixtures

M1: Licentiapacisterra vs. Ancharmunn (Green Dome)
M2: Maron vs. Iona (Falconfar)* (Cobolt Box)
M3: Cotdelapoms vs. Lymantatia (Maudraiska Arena)
M4: Daehanjeiguk vs. Equestrian States (Pálás Nic Rhaith)
M5: Yesopalitha vs. Free South Califas (Aluminium Box)
M6: Thatius vs. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Sayercooan Indoor Sports Hall)
M7: Cyborg Holland vs. Anollasia (Celtic Palace)
M8: Sicoutimont vs. The Jahistic Unified Republic (Grand Handball Arena)

*The team referred to as Falconfar during the group stages shall from now be listed as Iona (Falconfar).

[The Jahistic Unified Republic]

All Characters will be referred to by their initials.

Ruckus is heard from the Team JUR Locker Room.

Nick Garey (NG) is hoisted onto his team shoulders for his defense.

Team, except Garey: "For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny! WOO!"

Kyung Yun-Chi (KY): "Mother of God... we did it... out first time and we made it to the finals! Mother of God!!! Yes!!!"

Kyung looks around, nervous, excited, so many emotions running through his body, he had never expected to make it out of group play, the same way he never expected to make the team, the same way he never thought he would make the UJHL and in the same way he never thought he'd arrive in the JUR.

Devyn Christophers (DC): Kyung is the real hero tonight. That's why we brought a special guest.

Kyung's heart dropped to his big toe. He was expecting Lane Kevins or someone from SportsNation to drop by and interview him. His English was marginal at best and even in his native tongue, he had never been one to speak to interviewers.

But this was so much more than that. So much more than anything Kyung could have expected. So much more than even anyone else could have expected.

It was Chairman Jarrod Thuman (CJ), the Head of State of the JUR, in the flesh. No cameras, no shining lights, no podium, just him. Kyung broke down and sobbed.

Thuman sits with him, Thuman is wearing a Jahistic Handball Jersey personalized with his name.

CJ: "Mr. Kyung... I am not here for politics,or for a photo opp. I'm here to thank you for helping this wonderful team with your many abilities." Thuman started tearing up himself. "The great duty you have done to national morale is something nobody in the Capital can do, ever. You are one of the best in our national sport. *signals for the team* Stand up, Mr. Kyung."

The Team JUR presented Kyung with a black, rather than red, handball uniform, with his new number, 9. Nine had always been a sacred number in the JUR for one reason or another and it was considered a distinct honor to wear it with permission. Usually only MVP's were allowed to wear the Jersey with Black as a primary color and Red as a secondary color uniform. Kyung knew instantly a distinct honor had been placed on him.

CJ: "Also, I can't tell the future, whether you'll win the Cup or any Olympic Gold. But this is one gold medal you will receive. Congress held a special 15 minute session and awarded you the Jahistic Medal of Bravery. *presents him with it* There are people in the capital celebrating in the streets for this victory. They don't care if you win or lose, because you and this fine team of your friends, have shown that this underestimated country can do wonders in the Sporting world. I shall go. But remember that your nation has your back, win, lose or draw.

That goes for all of you, this night is about all of you. You have proven a big feat today, now keep proving yourself. You're up against an undefeated team. Show them that we Jahistics are made of sterner stuff. Farewell."

As Thuman leaves, Ezekiel Moore (EM) hugs Kyung.

EM: "This night about you, my dear friend, you have finally reached the Jahistic Dream. We were born in it, but you earned it.:

Julius Jacobson (JJ) and Ormond Houston (OH) are seen having a conversation over some soda (neither of them drank beer or wine)

JJ: "What did I tell you guys, our prayers were answered. That and our unbridled strength cannot be matched."

OH: "It would serve you, and the team, well if you weren't as cocky. We're going up against not a undefeated team, but the only undefeated team in this competition. We may be on a four game streak, but they're on a five game streak. *pulls out a paper* Have you seen their stats. A Forty-three goal difference? We need to be scared. We need to fight like champions."

JJ: "If you say so, but a little confidence never hurts, comrade. I just want to live up the night."

OH: "Get some sleep, we need rest. The nation is counting on us, after all."

[Yesopalitha]

The Freedom's Altar Daily
Serving the Capital for twenty years

SURPRISE! HANDBALL TEAM INTO ROUND OF SIXTEEN
AMAZONS HAVE GRASPED NATION'S ATTENTION IN PREVIOUSLY UNHERALDED SPORT

ANCHARMUNN - There is a team that has been participating in a World Cup lately. They are good at the sport, have won their group, and will be heading into a Round of 16 Match. No, they are not the footballing Flames, or the ice hockey Flames, or the gridiron Flames, or the baseball Assassins, or the indoor football Lightning. No, no. This team is the Yesopalitha Amazon, and they have grasped a nation that didn't know about the game they played, a sport called handball only played by about one percent of the population, to following their every game and every move with their recent success in the Ninth Handball World Cup being held in Ancharmunn.

They didn't get off to a good start, losing their first game to the team from Darmen, but their game has only gotten better since. They have gained a purpose - showcasing their sport to the people of their nation - and this purpose led them to the choosing of their name, the Amazon, which reflects the fact that every player on the roster is a female. Four straight wins later, including victories over Polar Islandstates and The Babbage Islands, two of the world's better handball playing nations, the team has burst into the spotlight, warranting a special article about them being written in the Freedom's Altar Daily.

The team is led by Right Wing Julianne Potter, a Sports Fitness Major at Sacred Heart University. Although the roster is full of players who are, usually, rivals in the collegiate league, they have really bonded together as they have pursued the goal of letting all Yesopalithans know that handball is a sport, and that they can play with the rest of the world in it.

States the Coach, Peter Sundevant, "It has been amazing to watch this group of young women play. They have really come together to represent Yesopalitha when not even half the nation knew that such a sport existed. Now that they have made it to the playoffs, just the fact that they are playing is a testament of their skill and their bravery in representing our nation. I am so proud of them, and believe that even if they don't take the title, they have already done more than anybody could've asked for."

Acknowledged Premier Heinrik Ingler from his office in the Dark Cathedral in Freedom's Altar, "The National Handball team has carried themselves with distinction and honor at the Ninth Handball World Cup, despite the lack of funding and attention from most of the country. They have carried themselves as proud Yesopalithans and proud handball players, and for that, we honor them."

The Amazons will face Free South Califas in the Round of 16. The team, nicknamed the Harvest Mice just like most other teams from the nation, finished their group play with two wins, two draws, and one loss, which means that they do know how to keep games close, but not necessarily how to close out their opponents.

"From this point on, it'll only get harder to win," remarked Potter, "But just the fact that our entire nation will be watching us play is enough motivation to go out there and give it all that we have. We are proud to represent you, Yesopalitha. And to you young handball players - a brighter future for our sport is to come. We are working toward that goal!"

There have been reports from the National Sports Committee that a small handball league of perhaps eight teams playing a total of fifty-six games is being talked about. Whether such a league will come to fruition remains to be seen.

In a time when baseball and football are dominating all the major international sports headlines, it is good to see that there is another small sport, like the sport of Swamp Football that Yesopalitha has dominated, that can hold the nation's attention, even if it is for only a few days, or perhaps a few weeks.

For... Variety is, after all, the spice of life.

[Daehanjeiguk]

Roster
Group D
MD1: 34-18 v Camwood [Cashlauncarriga]
MD2: 29-12 v Hakkland [Cashlauncarriga]
MD3: 32-29 v Krytenia [Cashlauncarriga]
MD4: 31-27 v Free South Califas [Cashlauncarriga]
MD5: 30-20 v Carmadin [Cashlauncarriga]
R16: v Equestrian States [Cashlauncarriga]

PERFECTION
HAN HANDBALL SQUAD PEERLESS IN GROUP D, NOW FACE EQUESTRIAN STATES

CASHLAUNCARRIGA - Kim Hak-Seop had another fantastic game, pulling strings and running a riot in the Pálás Nic Rhaith. The Han continued to show their rampant form that has seen them win all 5 group matches, earning a R16 match against the mythological ponies of the Equestrian States, who claimed top second spot ahead of the Babbage Islands (in their loss to Yesopalitha) and Darmen (who lost to the ponies in the match before). The arena is still a little rickety, although Handball World Cup authorities assured competitors and spectators alike that the facility is "perfectly fine, minus a few nuts and bolts." Incidentally, with the explicit prohibition against cricket attendances, authorities have found it difficult to fill the stands, and once more, the players performed in front of a Group D high of 12 persons, all of whom seemed to be lost and disgruntled about the lack of pasties and kebabs.

But again, Kim Hak-Seop continues to market his playing talents and strengths, which may soon find him playing in one of the professional leagues overseas - maybe even the Cotdelapoms handball league. But for now, he simply dazzles at this World Cup. He is certainly the strongest person on the attack, punching, heading, and occasionally throwing his way to 10 goals and 7 assists. Pak Song-Gil remains stalwart in goal, conceding his lowest tally since the MD2 match against Hakkland. He also pulled out a good 14 saves, one of which required him to spy the ball arriving on goal through a mass of bodies. He also earned 2 assists when he caught out the Carmadin defense too high. In all, the Han have shown a eye for goal and great team ethic to win the ball back on defense. "This team wins together," says Coach Pak Seung-Ho. "I know there are some star talents in here, but really, the players have bonded together very well, and I can't imagine either the stars or the team working without one another. You don't have Kim Hak-Seop with Yim Dong-Hwan. You don't have Pak Song-Gil without Choe Gwan-Tae."

A date with Equestrian States has been made, and it's hard to say how that match will turn out. "I've seen the roster," says Pak Seung-Ho. "It's blank. I don't know what to expect, but I will say this. They should really be working to expect from us, and not the other way around. We will dictate this game as we have in very much every game we've played." Still, the ponies that managed to knock out the Babbage Islands, Darmen, and Polar Islandstates are going to be tough opponents, tougher without knowing their style.

Regardless of how this next match pans out, it will be our last match in the quaint hole-in-the-ground country town of Cashlauncarriga, with a potential quarterfinal fixture in Rushmore, where Cotdelapoms will face off against Lymantatia, who couldn't avoid losing top spot to Thatius. Elsewhere, hosts Ancharmunn perform the great escape in Group H, after Sicoutimont went through perfectly, smashing all opposition in very much the same manner as the Han have done. The only other team to emerge undefeat are the Cyborg Holland squad, who earned 9 points, losing only one point in a draw against Mark50.

***

CHANG'S CHUNKY CHINKY CHICKEN IN ADVERTISING SCANDAL

ALLEKLANNENBURG - On the quaint little island of Achtklan in the northern seas of Rushmore, a fast food chain that specializes in fried chicken in the traditional Han manner that produces a thin, crispy, crunchy coat that retains much of the juicy flavor of the chicken in the meat without the excess of greasy, fatty skin. While the popular Alleklanner chain operates almost domestically, there have been some among the expatriate Alleklanner community to branch this chain to other parts of Rushmore. Unable to produce chains in time for the Handball World Cup in Ancharmunn - which would have been the ideal launching pad to introduce an oblivious public to the yummy fried chicken (among other things as well - they have a ferociously hot General Chang's Chicken dish) - the chain's marketing directors opted to buy advertisement space.

The newspaper of choice was the unheralded Le Télégramme, an unusually extreme-rightist Cotdelapoms newspaper that actively pursues an anti-pan-Rushmori society in the country. This has stirred some concern among the Alleklannen politicians, who normally avoid confrontation with other countries. "This whole advertisement fiasco is a distractiont o our real international problems," a local MP says. "The last thing we want to do is have our companies associate with fringe nationalist papers in another country. That can come back to haunt us sometime later." The Alleklannen company - also sometimes known as C4 (not to be confused with the Paripanan corporate entity, also called C4) - has stated that their business practices remain the sole interest of the company. "We saw an opportunity to expand our business through a mass-media introduction. Unfortunately, we haven't had as much a return from our original investment, but we're quite happy with all of the attention that it has brought internationally to our company. We remain hopeful that C4 will open a foreign franchise soon."

When asked if the chain will open a store in the Han Empire, company officials were coy: "We're focusing our efforts in Rushmore for now. I don't think we'll have the resources to compete in a unique cultural environment, as the Han Empire is."

***

Sine Mairéad, Table 93. It was an old pub that had escaped the attention of most visiting patrons during the Cup. It was quite popular with the math geeks who admired the shameless display of trigonometric functions in their name - that is, until it was discovered that it just meant "Old Maggie". The pub was not run-down, but it was quiet. And especially at 8pm, it was silent as the grave. Teague Healy must have thought that this was a trick to get him out of his office. It was, on the record, his first personal interview with a journalist. He'd read some of the works of Jarlath Moynihan, who was in comparison to his predecessor less flamboyant and vitriolic and perhaps as well demonstrated a greater acuity for more sports than just football. Yet, something still seemed out of the ordinary, but he wasn't about to deny his spot in the limelight.

They had just finished the greetings when a man came up the stairs to their second floor setting. "Is this the third man you were speaking of?" Taegue asked Jarlath.

"Aye, I believe." You might have forgiven Teague for thinking that Jarlath was stuttering, because the new man was certainly intimidating. As he approached the table, he cast a shadow that kept his face in the dark. His white suit made his aura shine in the faint light, giving him an unholy glow that made Teague cringe. Am I about the sign my soul to the devil here? he must have thought to himself. He stood up to meet the mystery man.

"Greetings, my name is Teague Healy, the Chairman of t..."

The man gently brushed away Teague's open-handed invitation to a shake. "I know who you are," he said in a calm, cold voice, "and I don't fancy Western greeting habits." He unveiled his face mask. Jarlath didn't want to look, but he could help but spy the man's bad eye. Tonight, he was wearing a white eye patch. He couldn't help but feel relief at not having to look at the shriveled scar that was once his eyehole. Teague sat back down and the man stood by his open chair. "I must give my introductions, since I wasn't able to do this earlier. My name is Hong Gil-Do, and I represent a corporate entity that specializes in sporting events. I have numerous contacts around the world, but my operations are focused on the Han Empire. I'm hoping to branch my services out to other places in the world. I'm not a big name in the Han Empire, but I have the capability to increase your tournament's profile in Rushmore, Atlantian Oceania, Esportiva - all these places where, if you may imagine, aren't getting quite as large a share of viewers as you are receiving right now. I have come to Ancharmunn to guarantee these services to your organization."

He sat down at the table. Jarlath eyed the man with some suspicion. He'd been around the block long enough to know that Mr. Hong's claims were hogwash at worst. What sort of businessman introduces himself with an anecdote about his felonious predecessor, coupled with a interesting, if not macabre, description of a poisonous Han tea, all of which combined to create frivolous talk - just to offer a service to another man? There was something nefarious amiss here. Before Hong could continue his business talk, the waitress came over to take their orders. Teague had one quick glance at the menu. "I think I'll have an order of beer-battered beef pot roast with an extra of boxty chips, along with a pionta dúbailte."

Jarlath didn't exactly know what to eat, he hadn't taken the time to look at the menu. He was still buzzing with questions on his mind. He was certainly in his pensive mood, wondering how Mr. Hong managed to find out where the dinner was without a single call out to find him. Maybe this sort of man had connections to the underground? He eyed the cheap eats on the side part of the menu. "Cottage pie and a stout pint, if you please, lassie."

Hong didn't even look at the menu. "Black pudding and a bottle of your finest poitín." The waitress smiled as she took the orders and went on her way. Having heard Hong's introduction, his interest was certainly piqued. "So tell me, Mr. Hong. What specifically can you do to make this competition even bigger than it is now?"

"In my business, you have to make connections. The media love the masses, and if you can't deliver the masses, then you have substitute it with something slightly less. Networks. I have personal connections to countless networks in many regions. These networks, I have spent the greater part of my last five years building and cementing. In some parts of the world, I am like king. When I speak, people do what I want. But I have a small name in the greater view of the world. The Handball World Cup provides me and my networks with a superb segway into the world of tournament sports broadcasting, which had not been our priority. We had done successful marketing of specific matches in some countries, club friendlies, national team friendlies, on the occasion, we bring in some big name club to some backwater country, and it's a wonderful time. But... we're looking to expand, and I'm hopeful that you will accept our services."

Teague had to think long and hard about it. The opportunist in him said this is pure gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!11; the pragmatist said who the hell is this chap??!? Jarlath was starting a paint a clearer picture of the mysterious Mr. Hong. There was hardly a doubt that somewhere along the road, he ran into the wrong person. He felt the ghosts of Killian McVitie creeping up on him, with whatever bad stuff Hong was doing likely to catch him in the long run. He needed to get out.

"Pardon me, gents," Jarlath said, "I need to visit the wee room."

Hong and Teague nodded. Jarlath excused himself and walked carefully but quickly down to the restroom. He tried to spy the exits as he went, knowing full well that Mr. Hong wouldn't just leave the doors unsupervised. He couldn't spot the Hanishese guards at the doors, but he knew they were there. He sought out the way out that didn't use the most obvious route of escape. He stood at the door of the men's restroom, catching a better glimpse of the place. He was beginning to regret his decision to pick an out-of-the-way restaurant - there was hardly a reliable witness in view, only a two couples having a candlelit dinner by the cafe windows and the sparse crowd of waitpersons. He pulled out his phone and dialed the one person he could trust to help him out. He turned on the water and stood there staring in the mirror. The phone buzzed.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up..."

"This is Líadáin."

"Líadán, I need your help."

"What? You left your wallet home and need to pay for dinner?"

"No. Much worse."

"If you're trying to get me out of my house to get on with you, you're sorely mistaken. I've just finished drying my hair. Do you know how long that takes?"

"I don't fecking care. I've got a problem, and I need your help."

"What's the problem?"

Before he could say anything else, the door to one of the stalls opened. Jarlath immediately recognized the eye scar in the mirror and gaped his mouth wide open. Mr. Hong was standing there, right behind him. "Mr. Moynihan, I recommend you put the phone away."

Jarlath tried to put the phone on speakerphone. Hong didn't take too kindly to that, pulled out a dart gun and shot him. "GAH! What the fecking hell?!?"

"Hang up the phone."

Jarlath didn't wait any longer. Surprisingly, he was very complacent. It still didn't temper his anger. "What the hell was that for? Aren't you supposed to be upstairs?"

The man shook his head. He snapped his fingers and three men in the other three stalls emerged and pulled Jarlath up to his feet. They removed the dart and tidied him up a little bit. With all that done, Hong put on his face mask and approached Jarlath in a calm manner. "There's only one reason why you're still alive right now, and I make no apprehensions about wanting to kill you now. You are writing this article, introducing Mr. Hong's company and the new partnership with the Handball World Cup. You are going to write an enlightening story, noting the possible economic benefits of this partnership. And you are going to behave. I can just as easily go to that ejit Mac Suibhne and he can write that story. But you know, I personally think you'd do a better job of it. That's a compliment."

"How are you here and there?"

"Isn't it obvious, Mr. Moynihan? I'm not there. I'm here. And you will be back there. You had your little break, and you're going to do what I want you to do. If you don't, I've got your obituary ready for the Maudraiska Mirror. Suicide, as it were. Drug overdose, barbiturates and opiates - a poor combination. But the young live restless, and you know how that can be."

"I don't really," Jarlath said, feeling a little woozy from the dart. "What did you put in that thing?"

"You will know." Hong snapped his fingers again, and the guards released Jarlath. He couldn't explain it, but he wanted to walk back upstairs to the dinner and finish this night out. Hong walked back into the stall, as did the other men. If everything else weren't so serious, it would have made a humourous scene.

[Falconfar]

The Imperial Tribune
The most read paper in the Queendom of Falconfar

IONIANS EARN RECOGNITION IN HANDBALL WORLD CUP
CONTROVERSY STIRS AS MOON RECOGNIZED AHEAD OF NATION

ANCHARMUNN - The Ionians from Falconfar have qualified to the knockout rounds of the Ninth Handball World Cup, and, as promised, Queen Islandil has sent a request to the Charumnnry and those in charge to recognize the fact that all the players are from Iona. The Handball Board agreed to allow the change of the entry to Iona (Falconfar), so that both the fact that Iona is the place that all the players are from, while also acknowledging that Iona does belong in the Queendom of Falconfar.

Although they did lose to Group-Winners Cyborg Holland on the last set of matches by two goals late in the game, the Ionians have shown that they can hang with the world, and now, they will have the opportunity to represent both the country and their beloved moon in the knockout rounds, starting off with the game against Maron, a team that finished with four wins and one loss in the group stage of the competition.

"It is a dream come true," gushed Jared Pika, Left Winger, "To be recognized that we are all from Iona, and that our moon should get the glory, it's a great feeling. We are ready to regroup from our last loss and focus on the game ahead. We want to see how far we can go."

---

IRSWABI, FALCONFAR - Meanwhile, in the Capital of the Queendom, official protests from the three planets and the other three moons flowed into the Queen's Office, claiming that such a recognition gives Iona too much power and that the act must be undone.

"It gives a dangerous precedent to recognize a moon for such a deed," read one official statement from a source not named, "Iona can become full of pride in its own people, and possibly use this as a stepping stone to want more recognition and power in the future. Imara Newson, the Unified Falcon Football Team Manager, is an Ionian; two of the best teams in the football league are from Iona. If Iona takes over the sports scene, the other moons and the three planets will pay. This recognition must be withdrawn, and Falconfar must remember that it is a Queendom of three planets and four moons, all governed by one sovereign Queen, not a conglomeration of independent entities that are under the ruling of one person."

An official statement from the Queen read, "As all the players are from the moon of Iona, the recognition is not a breech of etiquette or an act that will cause an imbalance of power in the Queendom. It will only give the Ionian players pride that they are being recognized that yes, they are from their moon, and yes, they are representing our nation. If it wasn't the case that the players were all from Iona, and that the other moons and the three planets had contributed to the success of this team, then yes, it would not be fair to give all the credit to Iona. However, it is my opinion that giving credit where it is justly due will not cause problems. In fact, it sickens me that the other moons and the three planets are annoyed by this; they should be proud of Iona for what it has done, and be trying to follow its example, instead of bumbling and babbling about how it is not fair that a moon gets the recognition of being the first name that gets listed in an entry of an international competition."

The fact that such a little thing has caused such a stir shows that although the Queendom has existed for quite some time, pride in one's moon or planet has not lessened at all. Yes, it is true that every Falconfarian is proud to be a part of Falconfar; however, the heavenly bodies and the people that live on them are quite prideful of where they live. It is a part of Falconfarian life, and perhaps one of the reason that the union between Falconfar and Falconear is still going through its growing pains.

So, the giddy players of Iona, who have been recognized as being from Iona, will now try to advance even further in this tournament, and with every win, or possibly a loss, the friction between the Ionians and the Queen on one side and the three planets and the other moons on the other will continue to grow, with no end in sight...

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Announcer: And now the moment you have all been waiting for…

It’s the Down & Out Show with your hosts Errant Dow’naithe and Kibber Ou’transco!

Down: Hey there peoples of the DSE! We’re back!

Out: Just goes to prove just how hard up this station is for programming.

Down: Hey now, we do have an empire wide following. They love us out there in radio land.

Out: If you can call that creepy dude in the hut outside of Kelsey and the two fat guys ice fishing in Mujak as Empire wide.

Down: we have more fans than that. I, for one have a huge Chirper following.

Out: I follow you on Chirper. With Creepy and the Fat boys. The other three are your mom and sisters.

Down: Whatever. Have you been following our progress in the 9th Handball Championships?

Out: Nope. Someone was bored enough to hold 9 handball tournaments?

Down: We have been quite good except for the first two matches.

Out: How bad did we suck in those two is the whole point.

Down: well… Cotdelapoms kicked our ass and called us a bunch of ruffians or some such

Out: Is our team a bunch of ruffians? And let me see…33-21! That is atrocious!

Down: Well they were the defending Gold Medalists.

Out: And our medal should have been made from bear poop the way we played. 2dn match?

Down: 32-27 loss to The Kingdom of Quebec.

Out: Quebec is a Kingdom? Never would have guessed.

Down: They were quite good.

Out: they should have been. They were playing us and we suck

Down: But we did win our last three games to advance to the knockout rounds.

Out: Who did we beat?
;
Down: 30-23 over West Tyland

Out. A nobody. East Tyland would have kicked our ass. Next?

Down: 29-22 over the New Republic of Egypt

Out: Another nobody. Did we beat anyone worth a damn?

Down: 27-25 over Taijan

Out: You could have just said no.

Down: But we did make the knockout rounds. That should count for something!

Out: Fine. You get an extra pickle on your burger following the show.

Down: you suck

Out: Nope. That would be our handball ruffians. Who is up next?

Down: Thatius.

Out. Last game then. What comes next?

Down: We cohost the 61st World Cup with Valanora

Out: we are cohosting with a bunch of Elves?

Down: Yes we are. And damn good Elves too.

Out; only good elf is a….

Down: look at that! We are outs time. See ya next time!

[Sicoutimont]

Defeat Of Union Isle Leads Royales Into Round of 16

ANCHARMUNN-Sicoutimont's Royales handball team was 1 of 3 teams to have a perfect record in the Group Stage, anniahlating Group H opponents by a total score of 159-116. Last night's game against Union Isle meant nothing to the fans (or Television networks, but that's another matter), but it did mean something to the Royales. Xavier Berube and Pierre Cartier came out flying, combining for 21 goals. Union Isle could not control either of these players, which was the nail in the coffin for the team. Cartier opened the scoring just 29 seconds in, and Berube followed him. After the 1st Half, the score was 20-13. Sicoutimont flew away in the second half with 10 goals, including 5 goals from Xavier Berube, to take the match 30-20. Les Royales now advance to the Round of 16, where they will play Group A runner-up The Jahistic Unified Republic, which could prove to be a tough game for the Royales. Xavier Berube scored 10 goals, Cartier 11, Kevin Deslauriers 4, and Georges Simon 5. Here are the team scoring leaders.

TEAM LEADERS
1-X. Berube, 56 goals
2-P. Cartier, 47 goals
3.K. Deslauriers, 21 goals
4. H. Villeneuve, 21 goals
5. G. Simon, 20 goals.

Xavier Berube still holds onto the team scoring lead. Xavier and Pierre have pulled away, and are the future faces of Sicoutian Handball. Berube has the most goals ever by any Sicoutian player, and hopes to dominate TJUR to advance to the Quarterfinals. Here's Xavier's postgame comments: "Union Isle, well, they were a meh team. Pierre and The X-Man, we dominated them. Us 2 could have beaten them on our own. Next up, we have a team from some nation, they have a long name. We should be able to beat them, but they could be tough. However, The X-Man will take them down!", said Berube. "The X-Man" shouldn't be so humble. Sicoutimont's Royales are in for a tough game taking on TJUR. Tune in to SicoutianSportsNow for full coverage of the game, to see if Sicoutimont can advance.

[Maron]

The Handball World Cup Review Show presented by The Royal Bank of Maron



"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm James Cole and Chloe Sullivan has the night off. After Five games Maron finishes with a 4-1 record and on top of the group. Maron has been succeeding very well, in the Eagles first international tournament. A knockout round performance is coming up for the Eagles, and just maybe a semi-final appearance as well. Maron will be hoping that they will be into the 10th World Cup with relative ease during the next couple of stages. Maron's team becomes the most successful of any sports team in Maron in recent years, with their record being better than that of any current national team that Maron has produced. With a 30-24 victory, it also was Maron's largest margin of victory in the group stage. WIth the Knockout stages upon us, Maron's team captain John Savage-Morgan, who scored 6 of Maron's goals in Game 5, stated, "We are just here to do our country proud. Maron should be proud of us after our last game." Well John I can tell you that Handball has been played recently in all the towns, and it has definitely stirred interest in the Sport. So folks, only time will tell whether the Eagles will succeed. His Majesty the King who, was planning on leaving to return to Christchurch, has announced he will stay as long as Maron is in the World Cup. Hopefully, they will be there until the final whistle. Good Job Boys. This is James Cole with your Handball World Cup Review."

[Free South Califas]

Free South Califas 24–24 Camwood

. Group D                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Daehanjeiguk                        5   5  0  0  156 106 +50   10 Q
2 Free South Califas                  5   2  2  1  139 123 +16    6 Q
3 Hakkland                            5   2  2  1  125 125   0    6
4 Carmadin                            5   2  0  3  114 132 −18    4
5 Camwood                             5   1  2  2  115 133 −18    4
6 Krytenia                            5   0  0  5  119 149 −30    0

The Mice had their second draw of the Handball World Cup yesterday against Camwood, marking a relatively worrying 0-2-1 stretch to finish the qualifying stage triumphantly. While the Han Empire could not be touched, South Califas played them close and earned precious standings points against all other teams. The 24-24 draw against Hakkland meant the second tiebreaker was in effect, and the Califan attack was just more consistent than the Hakkland one.

Next, the Harvest Mice face Yesopalitha, a strong sporting nation, in the octofinal. The Califans are anxious to win their nation's first knockout game in any competition outside of Olympic demonstration sports, Union Isle Medieval Arts Cup team archery and the meaningless Six Nation Summit of Summer Team Games. Yesopalitha were dominant, going 4-0-1 to win Group E and rising from third place after overcoming an opening-day loss to Darmen:

Darmen 27–22 Yesopalitha
Yesopalitha 23–22 Equestrian States
Thrilledge 29–33 Yesopalitha
Polar Islandstates 26–28 Yesopalitha
Yesopalitha 28–23 The Babbage Islands

However, the South Califas handballers have already made a big splash in the international game, scoring consistently, saving a surprising number of shots and securing three contracts in foreign leagues (for starting pivot Hakate Kavanah in Carmadin and starting right back Alycia Blazej and right wing Carlo Cernunnos in Amstaad & Bierlin).

---

The Handball League: Season 1 Continues

Group A
El Monte 24–24 Westside
Riverside 31–24 West Covina
Palmdale 30–22 Little Tokyo
Glendale 24–29 Garden Grove
South San Diego 31–27 San Bernadino
Murrieta 23–25 Costa Mesa

   Group A               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Palmdale                9    6   1   2   260  230  +30    19
 2 Riverside               9    6   0   3   261  239  +22    18
 3 El Monte                9    5   2   2   243  235   +8    17
 4 Garden Grove            9    5   2   2   237  234   +3    17
 5 South San Diego         9    5   1   3   242  250   −8    16
 6 San Bernadino           9    4   1   4   244  243   +1    13
 7 Costa Mesa              9    4   1   4   235  239   −4    13
 8 Little Tokyo            9    3   2   4   237  240   −3    11 Eliminated from group win
 9 Westside                9    3   1   5   239  246   −7    10 Eliminated from Professional Series
10 Murrieta                9    3   1   5   239  253  −14    10 Eliminated from Professional Series
11 West Covina             9    3   0   6   247  246   +1     9 Eliminated from Professional Series
12 Glendale                9    0   2   7   227  256  −29     2 E

Group B
Huntington Beach 28–29 Fontana
San Diego 29–30 El Cajon
Thousand Oaks 26–32 Norwalk
Fullerton 29–33 Rancho Cucamonga
Corona 29–27 Escondido
Simi Valley 24–35 Oceanside

   Group B               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Fontana                 9    8   0   1   253  222  +31    24 Clinched Professional Series
 2 El Cajon                9    6   0   3   236  226  +10    18
 3 Fullerton               9    5   0   4   252  242  +10    15 Eliminated from championship
 4 Rancho Cucamonga        9    5   0   4   259  252   +7    15
 5 San Diego               9    4   2   3   260  253   +7    14
 6 Norwalk                 9    4   1   4   251  254   −3    13
 7 Huntington Beach        9    4   0   5   248  246   +2    12
 8 Oceanside               9    4   0   5   247  245   +2    12
 9 Corona                  9    3   1   5   236  250  −14    10
10 Escondido               9    3   0   6   235  240   −5     9
11 Thousand Oaks           9    3   0   6   238  266  −28     9
12 Simi Valley             9    2   2   5   239  258  −19     8 Eliminated from Professional Series

Group C
Long Beach 27–31 Burbank
Moreno Valley 28–23 Pomona
Pasadena 26–27 Santa Clarita
Irvine 29–26 South Gate
Santa Ana 28–23 Orange
Anaheim 31–29 Torrance

   Group C               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Anaheim                 9    6   0   3   254  232  +22    18
 2 Irvine                  9    6   0   3   264  249  +15    18
 3 Burbank                 9    5   0   4   250  244   +6    15
 4 Orange                  9    5   0   4   257  252   +5    15
 5 Santa Ana               9    4   2   3   244  237   +7    14
 6 Torrance                9    4   2   3   247  245   +2    14
 7 Pomona                  9    4   1   4   246  253   −7    13
 8 Moreno Valley           9    4   0   5   238  240   −2    12
 9 Santa Clarita           9    4   0   5   242  247   −5    12
10 Pasadena                9    4   0   5   247  259  −12    12
11 South Gate              9    3   1   5   244  249   −5    10 Eliminated from championship
12 Long Beach              9    2   0   7   224  250  −26     6 E

Group D
Lancaster 26–24 Downey
Chula Vista 26–24 Ontario
Ventura 17–19 Compton
Inglewood 27–34 Vista
Oxnard 24–32 Carlsbad
Los Angeles 27–22 Temecula

   Group D               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ontario                 9    7   0   2   268  240  +28    21 Clinched league spot
 2 Chula Vista             9    6   1   2   251  231  +20    19 Clinched league spot
 3 Ventura                 9    5   1   3   227  214  +13    16
 4 Vista                   9    5   1   3   243  235   +8    16
 5 Los Angeles             9    4   2   3   245  236   +9    14
 6 Inglewood               9    4   2   3   227  233   −6    14
 7 Lancaster               9    3   2   4   223  231   −8    11
 8 Compton                 9    3   1   5   238  239   −1    10
 9 Carlsbad                9    3   1   5   226  236  −10    10
10 Temecula                9    3   0   6   221  241  −20     9 Eliminated from Professional Series
11 Downey                  9    3   0   6   232  253  −21     9 Eliminated from Professional Series
12 Oxnard                  9    2   1   6   237  249  −12     7 E
Group A
Westside 29–35 Costa Mesa
San Bernadino 22–29 Murrieta
Garden Grove 28–31 South San Diego
Little Tokyo 29–31 Glendale
West Covina 30–32 Palmdale
El Monte 32–28 Riverside

   Group A               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Palmdale               10    7   1   2   292  260  +32    22 Clinched Professional Series
 2 El Monte               10    6   2   2   275  263  +12    20 Clinched league spot
 3 South San Diego        10    6   1   3   273  278   −5    19 Clinched league spot
 4 Riverside              10    6   0   4   289  271  +18    18 Clinched league spot
 5 Garden Grove           10    5   2   3   265  265    0    17 Clinched league spot
 6 Costa Mesa             10    5   1   4   270  268   +2    16
 7 San Bernadino          10    4   1   5   266  272   −6    13 Eliminated from Professional Series
 8 Murrieta               10    4   1   5   268  275   −7    13 Eliminated from Professional Series
 9 Little Tokyo           10    3   2   5   266  271   −5    11 E
10 Westside               10    3   1   6   268  281  −13    10 E
11 West Covina            10    3   0   7   277  278   −1     9 E
12 Glendale               10    1   2   7   258  285  −27     5 E

Group B
Fontana 24–21 Oceanside
Escondido 24–27 Simi Valley
Rancho Cucamonga 31–28 Corona
Norwalk 32–24 Fullerton
El Cajon 28–27 Thousand Oaks
Huntington Beach 31–35 San Diego

   Group B               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Fontana                10    9   0   1   277  243  +34    27 Won group
 2 El Cajon               10    7   0   3   264  253  +11    21 Clinched Professional Series
 3 Rancho Cucamonga       10    6   0   4   290  280  +10    18 Clinched league spot
 4 San Diego              10    5   2   3   295  284  +11    17 Clinched league spot
 5 Norwalk                10    5   1   4   283  278   +5    16 Clinched league spot
 6 Fullerton              10    5   0   5   276  274   +2    15
 7 Oceanside              10    4   0   6   268  269   −1    12 Eliminated from Professional Series
 8 Huntington Beach       10    4   0   6   279  281   −2    12 Eliminated from Professional Series
 9 Simi Valley            10    3   2   5   266  282  −16    11 E
10 Corona                 10    3   1   6   264  281  −17    10 E
11 Escondido              10    3   0   7   259  267   −8     9 E
12 Thousand Oaks          10    3   0   7   265  294  −29     9 E

Group C
Burbank 28–27 Torrance
Orange 26–31 Anaheim
South Gate 33–24 Santa Ana
Santa Clarita 25–24 Irvine
Pomona 23–24 Pasadena
Long Beach 22–27 Moreno Valley

   Group C               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Anaheim                10    7   0   3   285  258  +27    21 Clinched Professional Series
 2 Irvine                 10    6   0   4   288  274  +14    18
 3 Burbank                10    6   0   4   278  271   +7    18
 4 Moreno Valley          10    5   0   5   265  262   +3    15
 5 Orange                 10    5   0   5   283  283    0    15
 6 Santa Clarita          10    5   0   5   267  271   −4    15
 7 Pasadena               10    5   0   5   271  282  −11    15
 8 Torrance               10    4   2   4   274  273   +1    14 Eliminated from Professional Series
 9 Santa Ana              10    4   2   4   268  270   −2    14 Eliminated from Professional Series
10 South Gate             10    4   1   5   277  273   +4    13 Eliminated from Professional Series
11 Pomona                 10    4   1   5   269  277   −8    13 Eliminated from Professional Series
12 Long Beach             10    2   0   8   246  277  −31     6 E

Group D
Downey 32–30 Temecula
Carlsbad 27–29 Los Angeles
Vista 27–29 Oxnard
Compton 25–28 Inglewood
Ontario 32–23 Ventura
Lancaster 28–24 Chula Vista

   Group D               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ontario                10    8   0   2   300  263  +37    24 Q Won group
 2 Chula Vista            10    6   1   3   275  259  +16    19
 3 Los Angeles            10    5   2   3   274  263  +11    17
 4 Inglewood              10    5   2   3   255  258   −3    17
 5 Vista                  10    5   1   4   270  264   +6    16
 6 Ventura                10    5   1   4   250  246   +4    16
 7 Lancaster              10    4   2   4   251  255   −4    14
 8 Downey                 10    4   0   6   264  283  −19    12 E
 9 Compton                10    3   1   6   263  267   −4    10 E
10 Oxnard                 10    3   1   6   266  276  −10    10 E
11 Carlsbad               10    3   1   6   253  265  −12    10 E
12 Temecula               10    3   0   7   251  273  −22     9 E
Group A
Riverside 26–28 Westside
Palmdale 20–27 El Monte
Glendale 24–27 West Covina
South San Diego 31–25 Little Tokyo
Murrieta 22–31 Garden Grove
Costa Mesa 23–33 San Bernadino

Group A Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 El Monte 11 7 2 2 302 283 +19 23 Professional Series
2 Palmdale 11 7 1 3 312 287 +25 22 Professional Series
3 South San Diego 11 7 1 3 304 303 +1 22 Professional Series
4 Garden Grove 11 6 2 3 296 287 +9 20 Amateur Series
5 Riverside 11 6 0 5 315 299 +16 18 Amateur Series
6 San Bernadino 11 5 1 5 299 295 +4 16 Amateur Series
7 Costa Mesa 11 5 1 5 293 301 −8 16
8 Westside 11 4 1 6 296 307 −11 13
9 Murrieta 11 4 1 6 290 306 −16 13
10 West Covina 11 4 0 7 304 302 +2 12
11 Little Tokyo 11 3 2 6 291 302 −11 11
12 Glendale 11 1 2 8 282 312 −30 5

Group B
San Diego 31–20 Fontana
Thousand Oaks 29–27 Huntington Beach
Fullerton 24–29 El Cajon
Corona 26–31 Norwalk
Simi Valley 24–24 Rancho Cucamonga
Oceanside 24–29 Escondido

Group B Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Fontana 11 9 0 2 297 274 +23 27 Professional Series
2 El Cajon 11 8 0 3 293 277 +16 24 Professional Series
3 San Diego 11 6 2 3 326 304 +22 20 Professional Series
4 Norwalk 11 6 1 4 314 304 +10 19 Amateur Series
5 Rancho Cucamonga 11 6 1 4 314 304 +10 19 Amateur Series
6 Fullerton 11 5 0 6 300 303 −3 15 Amateur Series
7 Escondido 11 4 0 7 288 291 −3 12
8 Huntington Beach 11 4 0 7 306 310 −4 12
9 Oceanside 11 4 0 7 292 298 −6 12
10 Simi Valley 11 3 3 5 290 306 −16 12
11 Thousand Oaks 11 4 0 7 294 321 −27 12
12 Corona 11 3 1 7 290 312 −22 10

Group C
Moreno Valley 32–23 Burbank
Pasadena 29–23 Long Beach
Irvine 30–24 Pomona
Santa Ana 21–23 Santa Clarita
Anaheim 21–32 South Gate
Torrance 27–22 Orange

Group C Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Irvine 11 7 0 4 318 298 +20 21 Professional Series
2 Anaheim 11 7 0 4 306 290 +16 21 Professional Series
3 Moreno Valley 11 6 0 5 297 285 +12 18 Professional Series
4 Burbank 11 6 0 5 301 303 −2 18 Amateur Series
5 Santa Clarita 11 6 0 5 290 292 −2 18 Amateur Series
6 Pasadena 11 6 0 5 300 305 −5 18 Amateur Series
7 Torrance 11 5 2 4 301 295 +6 17
8 South Gate 11 5 1 5 309 294 +15 16
9 Orange 11 5 0 6 305 310 −5 15
10 Santa Ana 11 4 2 5 289 293 −4 14
11 Pomona 11 4 1 6 293 307 −14 13
12 Long Beach 11 2 0 9 269 306 −37 6

Group D
Chula Vista 25–22 Downey
Ventura 28–32 Lancaster
Inglewood 22–24 Ontario
Oxnard 33–26 Compton
Los Angeles 29–31 Vista
Temecula 31–28 Carlsbad

Group D Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ontario 11 9 0 2 324 285 +39 27 Professional Series
2 Chula Vista 11 7 1 3 300 281 +19 22 Professional Series
3 Vista 11 6 1 4 301 293 +8 19 Professional Series
4 Los Angeles 11 5 2 4 303 294 +9 17 Amateur Series
5 Lancaster 11 5 2 4 283 283 0 17 Amateur Series
6 Inglewood 11 5 2 4 277 282 −5 17 Amateur Series
7 Ventura 11 5 1 5 278 278 0 16
8 Oxnard 11 4 1 6 299 302 −3 13
9 Temecula 11 4 0 7 282 301 −19 12
10 Downey 11 4 0 7 286 308 −22 12
11 Compton 11 3 1 7 289 300 −11 10
12 Carlsbad 11 3 1 7 281 296 −15 10
Second half: 24 teams

With a suitably Califan number of entrants, the 48 City Assemblies which signed up for the Handball League were whittled down to 12 professional teams and 12 amateur teams. From each of the four qualifying groups, the top three teams qualified for the Professional Series and the next three teams qualified for the Amateur Series. In a deep economic recession, it was unrealistic to have more than the 12 teams, considered the minimum number to ensure the legitimacy of the new federal league as representing the best of the Ten Counties. However, as the economy has begun to recover, negotiations have begun to expand the League, probably beginning no sooner than Season Three.

Season 1, Second Half
Teams with HWC players on the roster are in bold
Professional Series
South San Diego 30–24 Vista
Palmdale 28–22 Chula Vista
El Monte 25–30 Ontario
Fontana 23–23 Moreno Valley
San Diego 22–22 Irvine
El Cajon 24–27 Anaheim
Average goals per game: 280/6=462/3

Amateur Series
Lancaster 23–20 Riverside
Inglewood 26–23 Garden Grove
Los Angeles 22–27 San Bernadino
Burbank 32–29 Norwalk
Pasadena 29–24 Fullerton
Santa Clarita 28–21 Rancho Cucamonga
Average goals per game: 304/6=502/3
Professional Series
Vista 21–26 Anaheim
Irvine 22–27 El Cajon
Moreno Valley 33–27 San Diego
Ontario 27–24 Fontana
Chula Vista 24–24 El Monte
South San Diego 29–28 Palmdale

   Professional Series   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ontario                 2    2   0   0    57   49   +8     6
 2 Anaheim                 2    2   0   0    53   45   +8     6
 3 South San Diego         2    2   0   0    59   52   +7     6
 4 Moreno Valley           2    1   1   0    56   50   +6     4
 5 Palmdale                2    1   0   1    56   51   +5     3
 6 El Cajon                2    1   0   1    51   49   +2     3
 7 Fontana                 2    0   1   1    47   50   −3     1
 8 El Monte                2    0   1   1    49   54   −5     1
 9 Irvine                  2    0   1   1    44   49   −5     1
10 San Diego               2    0   1   1    49   55   −6     1
11 Chula Vista             2    0   1   1    46   52   −6     1
12 Vista                   2    0   0   2    45   56  −11     0

Amateur Series
Riverside 31–26 Rancho Cucamonga
Fullerton 19–29 Santa Clarita
Norwalk 26–29 Pasadena
San Bernadino 25–29 Burbank
Garden Grove 27–29 Los Angeles
Lancaster 26–29 Inglewood

   Amateur Series        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Santa Clarita           2    2   0   0    57   40  +17     6
 2 Pasadena                2    2   0   0    58   50   +8     6
 3 Burbank                 2    2   0   0    61   54   +7     6
 4 Inglewood               2    2   0   0    55   49   +6     6
 5 Riverside               2    1   0   1    51   49   +2     3
 6 San Bernadino           2    1   0   1    52   51   +1     3
 7 Lancaster               2    1   0   1    49   49    0     3
 8 Los Angeles             2    1   0   1    51   54   −3     3
 9 Garden Grove            2    0   0   2    50   55   −5     0
10 Norwalk                 2    0   0   2    55   61   −6     0
11 Rancho Cucamonga        2    0   0   2    47   59  −12     0
12 Fullerton               2    0   0   2    43   58  −15     0

[Cyborg Holland]

Dragons through undefeated

9th Handball World Cup ~ After a close victory over Falconfar, the Dragons have secured thier place in the round of 16 in the 9th Handball World Cup, held in Ancharmunn, in Rushmore. The Dragona overtunred a 25-20 defecit going into the last 5 minutes, but a double from Jonathan and four from Emily Albert took the Dragons into the lead, before Dimitri Kazirim added two more. Falconfar pulled two back to make the score 28-27 to Cyborg Holland with just 30 seconds on the clock, and with Falconfar on the attack, but a brilliant interception from Albert and a pass to Matthijs, who threw the ball pass the Falconfar keeper, Hans Eriks to the sound of the buzzer, but the goal was judged to have crossed the line before, making the score 29-27, and securing thier qualification.

The Dragons have not lost a single game since the tournament got underway, matching a feat of only three other teams: Sicoutimont, Daehanjeiguk & Olympic Champions Cotdelpoms. The Dragons finished the group stages with 149 goals, and with a goal difference of +22, the highest bar the three mentioned before.

The top scorer for the Dragons is Circle Runner Emily Albert, the young and upcoming star for New Amzterdam University. The 22-year old has only been playing handball for five years since taking it up whilst at senior school, but has become a world class player in the short time she's played for the team and for the University. Emily has scored 57 goals, and has 48 assists to the side.

However Emily, speaking to CYBSports 1 the other night after thier victory over Saugeais, said she is looking to move overseas to focus on handball and play for a foreign club, as opposed to the rather shoddy Varsity League, which is now becoming filled with international talent, with players from Carmadin, Free South Califas & Taijan. She will look to go somewhere where she can play lots of handball and see the world at the same time*.

CHPHA propose international Club Handball competition

With the growing presence of Handball in Cyborg Holland and around the world, the Cyborg Holland Professional Handball Association has proposed that a competition be established for the top handball clubs in the world, much like the TQCC or Seasogs championships, currently contested in other sports.

No details of the competition have been unveiled as yet, but it is believed to be a round-robin and knock-out competition with clubs from all over the multiverse.

*If you're interested, just whizz me a Telegram.

[Ancharmunn]

Do or die time calls for a cutoff or a.... cutoff!

[Ancharmunn]

Round of 16
Licentiapacisterra 24–26 Ancharmunn - very kindly scored by Ipeland
Maron 22–34 Iona (Falconfar)
Cotdelapoms 28–26 Lymantatia
Daehanjeiguk 29–20 Equestrian States
Yesopalitha 25–24 Free South Califas
Thatius 25–24 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Cyborg Holland 29–22 Anollasia
Sicoutimont 21–27 The Jahistic Unified Republic

Quarter-final fixtures
QF1: Ancharmunn vs. Iona (Falconfar) (Cobolt Box)
QF2: Cotdelapoms vs. Daehanjeiguk (Maudraiska Arena)
QF3: Yesopalitha vs. Thatius (Aluminium Box)
QF4: Cyborg Holland vs. The Jahistic Unified Republic (Grand Handball Arena)

[Yesopalitha]

The Freedom's Altar Daily
Serving the Capital for twenty years

SQUEAKER! POTTER SCORES BUZZER BEATER
AMAZONS ADVANCE BARELY DUE TO TIMELY SHOT

ANCHARMUNN - For almost the entire game between Yesopalitha and Free South Califas, the theme was simple: One side would score, and the other would answer. Back, and forth. Back, and forth. It was an exciting game for the fans, a nerve-breaking one for the coaches, an exhausting one for the players. No side got more than a two-goal lead, and lead would last for too long. The two sides were so evenly matched that it looked as if they were two sides of the same coin. It was simply amazing.

The clock was winding down, and the crowd was on its feet. After the exposure of the team, more Yesopalithans had managed to get tickets to Ancharmunn to watch the game for themselves. With twenty seconds to go, Yesopalitha brought the ball down one last time with the score tied at twenty-four. Julianne Potter, the Assassins' star player, ran the clock down to three, then fired the ball from mid-range that bounced off the crossbar and into the goal.

When asked about her strategy, she said, "We were feeling confident, so Coach told me to go for the shot, and if I missed, then we would head to extra periods. I am glad that I made it in, though. Now, we have to turn around just like that and face Thatius, who also managed a one-goal win over a foe, Andossa Se Metrin Vega. It will be an interesting matchup."

This team has done enough already, bringing to attention of the sport of handball to the Unbidden Communist Republic, behaving as model citizens and sportspeople, and advancing as far as they have. With every game that they play, they write another page in the early pages in the book of Yesopalithan handball, and as pioneers to the sport, will be remembered for all time in history.

The "Amazons" started as a group of women chosen to play, volunteering. Now, they are a part of history. What a journey for them, and what an accomplishment...

[Falconfar]

The Imperial Tribune
The most read paper in the Queendom of Falconfar

IONIANS VALIDATE QUEEN'S DECISION, DOMINATE IN ROUND OF 16
DOMINATING WIN SILENCES CRITIQUES FOR THE TIME BEING

After all the hubbub about whether Iona should be recognized as the sole contributor of the squad that is in the Ninth Handball World Cup, and all the criticism of the Queen for allowing the moon to be recognized ahead of the nation, all eyes were on the team from Iona as they faced off against the nation of Maron.

The critiques will have to wait a day to unleash their barbs. Because for this match, Falconfar was dominant, racing out to a seventeen to ten lead by halftime, and winning the game by twelve goals, a final score of thirty-four to twenty-two that left the Maron side looking shocked and the Ionians exuberant that they would be moving on to the Quarterfinals. With the form that they showed out there on this day, the Ionians do deserve to be recognized ahead of the country. They have proven worthy of that moniker.

Stated Jared Pika, "We wanted to prove the doubters wrong: That we could play up to the billing, and perform well. I think we silenced the critiques today. We belong in this, the biggest stage for handball, and we belong to be called the Ionians of Falconfar. We are going to try to go as far as we can, and keep representing the great nation and the moon that we hail from. This we promise."

The next step for the Ionians will not be any easier, as they will have to take on the hosts, Ancharmunn. Ancharmunn defeated Licentiapacisterra in the Round of 16 by two goals to reach the knockout stage. They will have the home-court advantage, being held in their own country and all, but the Ionians are riding a wave of momentum unlike any that any other nation can think of or imagine.

It should be a great game of handball when the two sides meet at the Cobolt Box, with the winner advancing to the semifinals between Cotdelapoms, a handball power in the Olympics, and Daehanjeiguk, who has shown tremendous upside and potential during this World Cup.

Competition will get serious more and more so as the playoffs commence. Will the momentum hold, or will it fold?