World Cup 60: RP Thread

[Cowardly Pacifists]

The Poultry Prober

Bringing you MORE than you ever wanted to know about Chickens Football

Thursday, June 7th - From Kilmarnock, U.C. Ayrshire

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CHICKENS TOP GROUP 5!

Cowardly Pacifists 1 - 0 United Commonwealth of Ayrshire

For the first time in the team's short history of international play, the Chickens have been placed at the top of their World Cup group. A late score against the United Commonwealth of Ayrshire gave the Chickens a 1-0 victory and sole possession of the top spot in Group 5.

The Chickens definitely seemed out of sorts in the early going of the match. Perhaps it was the foreign atmosphere (Ayrshire recognizes far fewer civil freedoms than the Cowardly Pacifists), or perhaps it was the long wait to get through customs with thousands of refugees seeking asylum in Ayrshire. But in any case, the Chickens failed to mount much of an attack throughout the first half. The only major event of the first was an off the ball foul committed by FB Bertrand Wylee at 42'.

Late in the second, the Chickens finally started to get their offense going. After a few early bumps, (CB William Fleeman was shown a yellow card for foul play at 60'), the CPFC found themselves with a scoring opportunity. WB Ryan Duckler freed Fleeman down Ayrshire's right flank, and Fleeman managed to send a cross back to center pitch. Assistant Captain Steve Flinchmun beat the defender to the ball and headed it past Ayrshire's goal keeper to secure the Chickens' second win of the qualifiers. Both Duckler and Fleeman were credited with the assist on Flinchmun's 84' goal.

"It was a great match for us," Flinchmun said after the final whistle, "one we really needed to win. I can't believe that we're just one cycle removed from a Qualifiers where we only won two matches out of all 14. This cycle we've won two in a row right out of the gate! It's really exciting that our team has improved so much in so short a time."

The Chickens now head home for their MD3 contest with Octinstine. The 73rd ranked squad will likely be the first stiff test for this upstart Chickens squad. The Cowardly Council has expressed concern over Octinstine's visit, noting some disturbing news out of the Father-knows-best State, including that their national jails have become known as 'vampire houses' due to Octinstine's policy of stealing blood from convicts, and that Octinstine seniors are often forced to spend their golden years slaving away in factories. In the name of goodwill, the Cowardly Government has agreed to allow the team entry despite Octinstine's record of abuses - but warns that street protests and a stadium walkout are to be expected.

Upcoming Schedule

All home matches played at the Chickendome in the Cowardly Pacifist Capital City of Phrytton

Matchday 01, 05 June vs _NRAlexanderburn WIN (1-0)
Matchday 02, 06 June at _NRUnited commonwealth of Ayrshire WIN (1-0)
Matchday 03, 07 June vs ₇₃Octinstine
Matchday 04, 08 June at ₂₉₄San Nitrento
Matchday 05, 09 June vs ₂₄₁South Icemark
Matchday 06, 10 June vs ₅₀Jedi8246
Matchday 07, 11 June at ₁₁Akbarabad
***12 June --- TOURNAMENT BYE DAY*** (Friendly at The Icemark)
Matchday 08, 13 June at _NRAlexanderburn
Matchday 09, 14 June vs _NRUnited commonwealth of Ayrshire
Matchday 10, 15 June at ₇₃Octinstine
Matchday 11, 16 June vs ₂₉₄San Nitrento
***17 June --- TOURNAMENT BYE DAY***
Matchday 12, 18 June at ₂₄₁South Icemark
Matchday 13, 19 June at ₅₀Jedi8246
Matchday 14, 20 June vs ₁₁Akbarabad

Thoughts on the Chickens' next Opponents: Octinstine beat the Chickens twice in the World Cup '59 Qualifiers. While the Chickens have improved a lot since then, Octinstine will be looking to prove that they're still the dominant team. Their squad boasts a potent defense lead by an aging - but still bruising - Fullback John Glens; and Octinstine's 4-2-3-1 scheme gives them the flexibility to quickly put 4 players in position to strike at the goal from just about any angle. All signs point to a very challenging match-up for the Chickens.

Keeping up with Group Five

Group 5 Standings

-                                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Cowardly Pacifists                    2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
2 Akbarabad                             2    1   1   0     7    4   +3     4
3 Octinstine                            2    1   1   0     6    4   +2     4
4 San Nitrento                          2    1   0   1     2    3   −1     3
5 Jedi8246                              2    1   0   1     4    6   −2     3
6 South Icemark                         2    0   2   0     4    4    0     2
7 Alexanderburn                         2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
  United commonwealth of Ayrshire       2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0

WTF!?! South Icemark 1–1 Akbarabad. For a second time in a row, the 241st ranked South Icemark squad managed an incredible upset (of sorts). Just one game removed from a 6-3 trouncing of one of the highest ranked teams in Group 5 (Jedi), Akbarabad put up only a single goal against the plucky South Icemark team - and gave up a goal of their own. The final whistle showed that South Icemark had once again managed to draw with a team ranked far far above them. Most serious football critics still put the blame on the terrible South Icemark weather, which stayed well below freezing throughout the match. But there is still a fringe group claiming that South Icemark is really just that good. And that group has grown, both in size and loudness.

Return of the Jedi (sorry) Alexanderburn 0–1 Jedi8246. After being stomped on 6-3 by Akbarabad in MD1, the Jedi8246 squad managed to beat out up-and-comer Alexanderburn by a single goal. The loss is a tough one for Alexanderburn, who had hosted a large celebration for their team's first home match. The win puts Jedi8246 back on the winning track after the humiliation against Akbarabad, and spells trouble for Alexanderburn - who now share the Group 5 basement with Ayrshire.

Octinstine beats San Nit handily at home Octinstine 3–1 San Nitrento. San Nit didn't get to celebrate their MD1 victory for long before Octinstine dealt them their first loss of the qualifiers. The Octinstine team, apparently grumpy after drawing with South Icemark in their home opener, put a hurt on San Nitrento - punishing the new squad en route to a 3-1 victory. Whatever concerns there may have been about Octinstine seem to have been premature, and they set out to prove that against poor San Nitrento. It remains to be seen if Oct will be as tough when they have to travel away from their home turf, and whether San Nit can get their defense into shape before their next bout.

Other World Cup Happenings

World Cup Darling: After two match days, Group 14's Civil Citizenry is the current World Cup Darling - stealing the role from Group 7's Krytenia. The Bakers have a perfect record (2-0-0, +7GD) and have secured the highest positive Goal Difference by a 2 goal margin.

MD2 Offensive Juggernaut: On a relatively low scoring day, only four teams managed to tally more than 4 goals. MD2 Offensive Honors go to Group 14's Bears Armed who lit up the scoreboard 5 times in their win over the Allamunnic States while also holding that squad to only a single goal in response.

MD2 Defensive Honors: A clear winner emerged for defensive honors in MD2, after a three-way tie in MD1. Group 21's Thatius earned the distinction, shutting out their opponent Aleprennia while also putting up 4 goals of their own on offense.

The Fate of the Baptism of Fire '47 Champion: Kinitaria rebounded well after their MD1 loss to Kyrtenia, pulling off a decisive 3-1 road WIN over South Scotland and the Borders. Their record now stands at (1-0-1, +1GD 5GF), good enough for 5th in Group 7.

[Stachland]

Stachland Reds

Exciting Goals, Close Calls Highlight Reds’ Loss to Cassadaigua
by Witold Elliott

Despite home field advantage, the Reds fell just short of upsetting a powerful Cassadaigua team last night, as the visitors prevailed 3-2 at the Generalife Union Arena in Chevronia.

Though the Reds managed to draw first blood, with Lyle Verdak scoring off of a pass from Ratin Beenum in the thirtieth minute, the visiting Cassadagans responded by scoring twice in what remained of the first half, taking a 2-1 lead into the break, and coming out strong in the second half with a third goal in the fifty-first minute.

The Reds did not allow the two-goal margin to stand for long, as Ratin Beenum earned his first goal of the campaign in the sixty-seventh minute, scoring with an expertly-timed bicycle kick off a high pass from Juran Chueran.

With just under half an hour to work with, the Reds feverishly attempted to come back and equalize, but the visitors’ defense shut them down. The closest the home team came was in the eighty-eighth minute, when a shot by Verdak bounced off the post and into the gloves of Cassadagan goalkeeper Erika Payton.

The second half was marked by several instances of rough play, including a hard tackle by Elzbieta Wolszan against Cassadagan midfielder Holly Sanders that saw Wolszan receive a yellow card and, soon thereafter, exit the game, with Jamar Simmons substituting in for her.

“Taken all together, it was a much better effort on our part than in World Cup 55,” said head coach Theodore Czacki, referencing the 5-0 and 9-2 beatings which the Reds suffered against Cassadaigua in that competition. “And, yes, it is a blow to our chances of taking first in the group. But we aren’t necessarily out of it. Last time around—though we ultimately did make some mistakes and fall short of first place—we lost to top-seeded Akbarabad at home, then turned around and beat them at their place. We are the sort of squad that can gain tons of momentum as World Cup qualifying progresses.”

The Reds’ next match will be against Terio, a squad which has, so far, made little impression with its performance in qualifying play.

[Camwood]

Camwood wins two straight

---

By: Glenn Rhodeson
CBC Sport

Camwood sits in the top spot in the Group 19 table after winning two consecutive games. Camwood is hot right now, and there is no telling how far the streak will go.

The Jays ventured to Licentiapacisterra for the first matchday. Leonard Rossi was named man of the match after getting a goal and an assist in a 2-0 win in an away game. Licentiapacisterra is ranked 194th internationally and is a fellow member of Esportiva. The clean sheet for keeper Thomas Jacoby cleared up much speculation regarding Jacoby's age and his ability to perform at an international level. Keith Creighton also was given a yellow card after administering an unruly slide tackle. There also was plenty of controversy in the match after an opposing goal was overruled by a Kytlerian referee pointing to the offside position of the scorer; this didn't sit well with the spectators in Licentiapacisterra.

The second matchday was in the Olympian Centre, Camwood as the Blue Jays were able to walkover Landarea in a 2-0 win. Jeff Cecil had the brace and Thomas Jacoby got the clean sheet despite sustaining a minor injury. At 34' in the match the ball was pushed forward by midfielder Jack Gibson, and was pursued by Kevin Torress as per the forechecking tactic. Torress came up with the ball momentarily and centred it to Jeff Cecil who was crashing the net with ease. Before the end of the half, Henry Young was awarded a yellow card after making serious contact with an attacking counterpart.

The next half hour went smoothly before Camwood brewed up a serious counter-attack. Dylan West made a nice poke tackle and was able to forward the ball to Ben Gregory who briefly lost the ball but it was recovered by a slide tackle dished out by none other than Keith Creighton. Crieghton quickly got the ball up to Jeff Cecil who dribbled up field and found himself in an attacker-on-defender situation. All it took was one cross-over to get the player off balance and get around him. Cecil fired his shot top left from just outside the inner goalkeeper area.

Camwood is now up against a very tough Cassadiaguan team, in Cassadiagua. Interesting enough, the Cassadiaguans are mainly female which will be interesting to watch. Cassadiagua is ranked thirteenth in the world which is outstanding. It will be tough for the Bleu Jays, but based off of the current streak, Camwood can get a draw at the very minimum; don't be caught off guard by what the Blue Jays can do.

[Octinstine]

Octinstine, Match Day Two - Report

The panthers managed to put the dissapoinment of the operning day draw behind them straight away with a comanding result over San Nitrento. At the national stadium last night the team managed to live up to expectations putting three past the oppersition, the result was lowered slightly though by the conceding of a goal to such a low ranked team. Octinstine managed to start the match in typical style by conceding an early goal to the foregin number Ten after a well struck effort from the edge of the box, which the Warren probably should have saved if we are being harsh.

The reply was almost emidate with Tom Trent scoring the leveler after a quick counter attack from a San Nit corner, after Sean Owen's pace burst past the defenders he rolled the ball accross the box for a simple tap in. The goal to put the panthers in front came from a powerfull header from a corner by the number six Leighton Murphy to bag his first goal of the qualification section. In the 83rd minute the match was finaly made safe after typical edge of the box finish from Hobbs who spun past his man and fired low into the left hand corner.

This result leaves Octinstine joint second in the group on four point, next up is the current group leaders in the form of the Cowardly Pacifists.

Stats so far:

Goal scorers:
Hobbs 3
Trent 2
Murphy 1

Assists:
Owen 2
Hobbs 2
Trent 1
Jones 1

[Antoletia]

"Well that was a very interesting game."

"Yeah. 3 second half goals after going down 1-0, wasn't really expecting that to happen."

"Anything is possible with Filip Constantinescu."

"Why."

Together "Because we love him we love him. Especially when he keeps us on the ball."

"Especially then, the only way we can score."

"Sure is."

"Ok we have to stop randomly breaking into song."

"Right."

"One more."

"Ok."

"I get knocked down, but i get up again..."

[Kagdazka and Pazhujebu]

Yuzhissa Aghimaqaj clapped Ryurik Mizirov heartily on the back as the two stepped out into the pleasantly chilly night air of Frostmarris, just outside the Odin's Hall stadium.

"I saw from the pace on that thing right away that you were the only one who'd get to it. Just driven right across, and I mean blimey... that was a standing header, right? Right? Ryurik, did you leave your feet for that one? Ryurik?"

"Huh?"

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"I'm just taking it all in, Yuzhissa. You should too."

Aghimaqaj playfully scoffed in disgust.

"You're treating me like I'm a sixteen-year-old again."

"You're acting like one."

"Ha ha ha. So hey I thought Fušia was bringing cigars."

"I guess so."

At that precise moment, Natasha Klossovskaya strolled casually out the door. Her hair, blonde as always, was curlier than usual since it was wet from the shower. She walked with a swagger that she'd carried ever since winning Player of the Year honors in Kagdazka and Pazhujebu's top flight league; it was an achievement she couldn't help but be proud of.

"Natty Ice!"

"That really is my nickname now, isn't it."

"Hey, if Fušia gives you a nickname, you've gotta take it."

"Isn't her nickname for you 'dweeb?'"

"Uh, no!"

But Yuzhissa was silent at last. So of course Ryurik took the opportunity to speak up at this point.

"Speaking of Fušia, rumor has it she's got cigars for all the starting eleven."

"Это правда," she spoke, without thinking, in their native Russian. The language was slowly dwindling into disuse, as was Pazhujebi; English had quickly become the de facto mother tongue in the Federation. Still, obscure little tidbits, little distinguishing traits, would crop up every once in a while; Kagdazka and Pazhujebu were not the same country, nor had they ever been.

After a terse look from the non-Russian-fluent Aghimaqaj, Klossovskaya corrected herself. "Sorry. It's true, I mean. Yes, Fušia's bringing cigars. Hey," she said, eager to change the subject after her borderline social faux-pas, "nice goal tonight, Ryurik."

"Yeah, Dweeb was telling m- <OUCH> telling me the same thing a second a go. It was all Eduard's cross, and you both know it." Yuzhissa had punched Ryurik in the arm, mid-sentence. "Jeez, just kidding, man."

"It's... great to have him back on his feet," answered Natasha, torn. She'd never admit it to anyone, but in the time Eduard had been out for their club, FKM, during this last season, she'd never felt so empowered. With Winogradsky on the mend, the onus had been on her to lead the People's Club, and she'd done it with pride and skill. They'd won their fourth consecutive First Division title, and she liked to think she'd done it on her own.

Luckily, her conflicted thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of a pack of rowdy other players. It was the other eight members of the starting eleven: Aqhorassia Bhara, Pirdassia Bawuah, Odšahe Yakoko, Itoto Ukipu, Tykaraije Makureru, Zubeida Ichuvihaja, and Eduard Winogradsky, and led of course by the Eternal Ringleader of All Things Troublemaking, Fušia Oujadda.

"We did it! We beat The Icemark! YEAH!!!!" shouted Fušia.

"Well," said Natasha with a grin to her Grilled Brie for 3 counterpart, "aren't you amped?"

"Always," the blue-haired vixen answered stealthily.

"Not Emperor Hog again..."

"No, I'm just messing with you."

"All right, where are those cigars, Fušia?!" cried Yuzhissa.

"Eduard's carrying them. Eduard. Eduard, where the fuck are you, hiding?"

Fušia had to spent the better part of two seconds peering around her teammates (no small task when she had to crane her neck around Ukipu's gigantic frame) before locating Winogradsky, who was intently gazing at his phone, the box of cigars under one arm.

"EDUARD!!!"

"WHAT?!!" he answered with equalling frustration.

"It's cigar time, homeboy."

"Huh?"

"Just give me that damn box. What the hell are you staring at?"

Winogradsky looked up at all of them, almost disturbed that he was the only one who cared. "Honestly, you lot disgust me sometimes. Tonight is election night. I trust all of you voted?"

Silence.

"Oh, nice. Really nice. Fušia, even you?"

"I've been in Cafundéu..."

"So vote absentee! Jesus! I cannot believe you! You personally shed blood to make sure the people of this country had the chance to vote, and now you-"

"Eduard," Natasha butted in as she frequently had to with her fiery-tempered childhood friend. "Eduard, relax. Not everybody's as obsessed with politics as you. It doesn't mean that other people don't care. Just chill out. Give me that box."

He obliged after making eye contact with her captivating brown eyes.

The moment Natasha had collected the cardboard container, Fušia led the other players in a momentous cheer. The distribution of cigars to all was forthcoming, and soon the ten of them (with Eduard still engrossed in his phone, off to the side) were having a right good time, discussing the much-improved form of their side during the night's match, and their bullish estimations of their side's fate headed into the rest of qualifying. Soon, however...

"YEAH!!!!!!!"

Eduard had lept into the air, his phone in his right hand, his left clenched in the air.

"Hey, finally he's decided to join in!" said Pirdassia Bawuah with a smirk.

"No, this means the UWP's been re-elected," responded Natasha.

"Yup," answered Eduard, out of breath. "It was much closer this time... we only got fifty one and a half percent of the vote, but we still have an absolute majority. Thank you God, thank you God, thank you God."

A few of the other players mumbled things like "uh, okay" or "whatever" while a couple others (Ukipu, Ichuvihaja, and Bhara) were more enthusiastic ("nice one" and "oh, lovely"). There were no outspoken conservatives among them (well, all of Aghimaqaj's extended relatives were Patriotic Front supporters, but he personally didn't take sides), so nobody took the news poorly.

But Eduard's next action was the most surprising. He grabbed Natasha by the waist and kissed her deeply. She didn't pull away.

Leaning against a cement post, arms crossed, with her cigar still coolly wedged between her front teeth, Fušia grinned in self-congratulation.

"Called it," she said smugly.

[Cotdelapoms]

BREAKING: Warrants Issued For Two Members of National Assembly, Others on Human Trafficking

Sûreté Nationale have issued warrants for the arrest of two members of the National Assembly- Anti-Rushmore Party members Guillaume Duberry and Michel Marceau-Dupuis for their alleged roles in a human trafficking ring involving a Cap Nordique organised crime syndicate that Sûreté Nationale have been targeting for years. The roles the two have played in the human trafficking ring have not been made public, but this paper has received off-the-record anonymous tips that suggest that they had been involved in the hiring of Customs officials sympathetic to the cause.

"At this time", a press release from Sûreté Nationale said, "we are unable to release further information about the accused. It is hoped that they will turn themselves in to Sûreté Nationale within 48 hours."

More information will be provided as soon as we are aware of it.

[Free South Califas]

In accordance with the express positive mandate of the Eighth Federal Assembly, specifically 8FA World Cup Domestic and Foreign Statistics Act, the Federal World Cup Statistics Delegation (F/WCSD) has been created to monitor the World Cup Qualifiers and report on a number of statistics that are of interest to South Califans.

Highest-Scoring Game	MD1 Traila 2–7 Puhalux Ezocafi Nzojug
Largest Rout		MD1 Traila 2–7 Puhalux Ezocafi Nzojug

- Best Attacks, WC60                  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Civil Citizenry                       2    2   0   0     9    2   +7     6
1 Chetkosk                              2    2   0   0     8    3   +5     6
2 Bears Armed                           2    2   0   0     7    1   +6     6
3 Puhalux Ezocafi Nzojug                2    1   1   0     7    2   +5     4
1 Ancharmunn                            2    2   0   0     7    3   +4     6
2 Qazox                                 2    2   0   0     7    4   +3     6
2 Akbarabad                             2    1   1   0     7    4   +3     4
3 Baltskandio                           2    2   0   0     7    5   +2     6
4 Armed Bears                           2    1   0   1     7    6   +1     3
13 sides tied with 6 goals apiece

- Scoreless Attacks (20)              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
7 Cambazooty                            2    0   1   1     0    3   −3     1
7 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega                2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
8 JonathanAtopia                        2    0   0   2     0    3   −3     0
7 Alexanderburn                         2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
  United commonwealth of Ayrshire       2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
6 The Kingdom of Hyrule                 2    0   2   0     0    0    0     2
7 Iglesian Archipelago                  2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
5 Ishaanabad                            2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
8 Princess Beatrice Island              2    0   0   2     0    3   −3     0
7 Monastery-on-the-Rock                 2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
6 Turori                                2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
8 Equatorial Sarmen                     2    0   0   2     0    5   −5     0
7 The Icemark                           2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
6 Earent                                2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
6 Tales                                 2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
7 Kiryu-shi                             2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
6 Terio                                 2    0   0   2     0    2   −2     0
7 Licentiapacisterra                    2    0   0   2     0    3   −3     0
8 Landarea                              2    0   0   2     0    6   −6     0
8 Laversia                              2    0   0   2     0    3   −3     0


- All Clean Sheets (18)               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Camwood                               2    2   0   0     4    0   +4     6
  West Angola                           2    2   0   0     4    0   +4     6
1 The Han Empire                        2    2   0   0     4    0   +4     6
1 Carpathia and Ruthenia                2    2   0   0     3    0   +3     6
1 Jeruselem                             2    2   0   0     3    0   +3     6
1 Cyborg Holland                        2    2   0   0     3    0   +3     6
3 Kazzoria                              2    2   0   0     3    0   +3     6
1 Megadia                               2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
1 Cowardly Pacifists                    2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
2 Valladares                            2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
2 19th Century Beards                   2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
1 West Guiana                           2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
2 Eastfield Lodge                       2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
4 Sanian Confederacy                    2    1   1   0     2    0   +2     4
2 Carmadin                              2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
3 Sørøya                                2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
3 Western Cuba                          2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
6 The Kingdom of Hyrule                 2    0   2   0     0    0    0     2


Group of Death, Matchday 2
Bostopia 4–3 Milchama
Corderock 2–3 Free South Califas
Cult of Ashley Greene 1–1 Unibot
Turori 0–0 Monastery-on-the-Rock

- Group 12                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Bostopia                              2    2   0   0     5    3   +2     6
2 Cult of Ashley Greene                 2    1   1   0     3    1   +2     4
  Unibot                                2    1   1   0     3    1   +2     4
4 Milchama                              2    1   0   1     5    4   +1     3
5 Free South Califas                    2    1   0   1     3    4   −1     3
6 Turori                                2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
7 Monastery-on-the-Rock                 2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
8 Corderock                             2    0   0   2     2    5   −3     0

[Carmadin]

We have issues.
We really have issues.
Major issues.

Joyn walked along the hallway in the higher floors of the Carmadin Linguistics center. His mind raced. How, how, how was he to do this, this seemingly impossible task. It was ridiculous. Bad enough that not many people even supported this project. That guy from Licentiapacisterra hated it, but, then again, he hated everything. Uncultured, uncultured, uncultured. But now, he had to get this done. And fast, too.
He had issues.
Major Issues.

"You want a Kleenex?"

He hadn't said that last word out loud, had he? Apparently so. That was the trouble with him. He tended to think out loud, and not notice it.

"No, What I want is the answer to all these issues"

And, the person who had spoken to him was now nowhere to be found. This was getting ridiculous. He needed answers, and had no idea where to find them.
To his office.
Why pace around here when he could kick back and relax, and look this up on his computer? He made a beeline to his office, reached the door without embarassing himself further, and sat down, clicking the screen of his computer on.

Champion's Cup- Streaming Live. FC Charge at Scott City FC

This football again! Why was it on his computer?
He watched a bit. He was bored. It seemed to be halftime, and FC Charge was losing, 2-1. He had heard the announcer say they were up on aggregate, though, having won the first leg.
Joyn was good with languages, but football talk was beyond him.
He closed the window.
But the window didn't close.

What the heck?
No matter how hard he tried, the window would not close.
He sighed, and opened a new tab.

World Cup 60- Streaming Live. Carmadin at West Guiana

No, this was ridiculous. Now, he was watching the national team, including some FC Charge players, face off against the West Guianans. But, even as he thought it...

And, as you know, FC Charge, who today is minus Zwejoyj and Ahnger, who are here on national team duty, play Scott City today in Darmen. The winner of that match goes through to the Champion's Cup group stage. And, of course, Carmadin has never had a club go that far in the CC before, so, if Charge can keep their 2-0 aggregate lead, they will make Carmadin history...
And, a cross from Shaekh'zheht just goes past Xán!.... The West Guianains playing excellent football here, Carmadin really hasn't had the chance to....

Joyn was furious. He opened a new tab. Maybe, just maybe, this one would work.

It did. Thank god, he was finally able to get something done.
Now....

His fingers danced on the keyboard, tryping in the site he needed to figure out what was troubling him. The issue that stood between him and a new Carmadin Alphabet.

http://www.encyclowiki.org/encyclopedia/Voiceless_velar_fricative

No football, thank the Lord.

He started to read.
This was the "kh" sound that had bothered him in his sleep, the noise that tortured him. The letter "x" was used for "ks", and he needed a character for the "kh" sound. Badly.

The voiceless velar fricative is a type of consonantal sound used in some spoken languages. It was part of the consonant inventory of Old English and can still be found in some dialects of English, most notably in Scottish English loch.

The symbol in the International Phonetic Alphabet that represents this sound is ⟨x⟩.

Yawn. He knew that. That last line was the major issue. Why couldn't the stupid IPA come up with some other symbol?

Features of the voiceless velar fricative:

Its manner of articulation is fricative, which means it is produced by constricting air flow through a narrow channel at the place of articulation, causing turbulence.

Its place of articulation is velar, which means it is articulated with the back of the tongue at the soft palate.

Its phonation is voiceless, which means it is produced without vibrations of the vocal cords. In some languages the vocal cords are actively separated, so it is always voiceless; in others the cords are lax, so that it may take on the voicing of adjacent sounds.

It is an oral consonant, which means air is allowed to escape through the mouth only.

It is a central consonant, which means it is produced by directing the airstream along the center of the tongue, rather than to the sides.

The airstream mechanism is pulmonic, which means it is articulated by pushing air solely with the lungs and diaphragm, as in most sounds.

Huh. Just imagine that. A voiceless velar fricative is voiceless, velar, and a fricative. That's one way encyclowiki was annoying. He was a linguist, he knew what that meant. The wiki spelled it out for you like you were an idiot.

Then, there were the usages, and....
Nothing.

absolutely nothing.

He sighed, and leaned back in his chair. This stupid voiceless velar friciative was proving to be much harder than he'd thought...

***

He was jerked awake by a roar from below him. He hadn't even noticed he'd been asleep. Now, he wondered what the probelem might be.
He raced down the steps, forgetting the elevator in his haste, and found nearly all his colleagues in a room, high-fiving and slapping each other on the back. Popcorn and empty chip bags were strewn all over the floor.
He mustered the most intelligent comment he could make under the circumstances.

"Uh, uh, huh?"

Nobody seemed to hear him. He tried again

Uh, uh, huh?"

This time, Lehmohn heard him. He seemed to be overcome with excitement, and not much caring what language he spoke.

"ஏய், எங்களுக்கு சேர உன்னை நன்றாக! நாங்கள் வர போவதில்லை என நினைத்தேன். எப்படி அந்த விளையாட்டை பற்றி? பொறுப்பு இழந்து, ஆனால் அவர்கள் இன்னமும் மொத்தமாக முன்னேற்றி, ஏனெனில் அது அமர்களம் தாமதமாக இலக்கை! நான், எல்லோர் கணினியில் இந்த விளையாட்டு மற்றும் நம் தகுதி இணைப்புகள் அனுப்பிய வழக்கில் அவர்கள் இங்கே இறங்க முடியவில்லை. தகுதி இன்னும் nil-nil கட்டப்படாது, மற்றும் நான் உண்மையிலேயே எனக்கு தெரியாது. அவர்களின் பாதுகாப்பு ஒழுக்கமான வருகிறது.

ஒரு சிப் வேண்டும்?"



Joyn ēy, eṅkaḷukku cēra uṉṉai naṉṟāka! Nāṅkaḷ vara pōvatillai eṉa niṉaittēṉ. Eppaṭi anta viḷaiyāṭṭai paṟṟi? Poṟuppu iḻantu, āṉāl avarkaḷ iṉṉamum mottamāka muṉṉēṟṟi, ēṉeṉil atu amarkaḷam tāmatamāka ilakkai! Nāṉ, ellōr kaṇiṉiyil inta viḷaiyāṭṭu maṟṟum nam takuti iṇaippukaḷ aṉuppiya vaḻakkil avarkaḷ iṅkē iṟaṅka muṭiyavillai. Takuti iṉṉum nil - nil kaṭṭappaṭātu, maṟṟum nāṉ uṇmaiyilēyē eṉakku teriyātu. Avarkaḷiṉ pātukāppu oḻukkamāṉa varukiṟatu.

Oru cip vēṇṭum?

Hey Joyn, nice of you to join us! We thought you were never going to come. How about that game? Charge lost, but they still advance on aggregate, because of that amazing late goal! I sent links to this game and our qualifier to everyone's computer, in case they couldn't get down here. The qualifier's still tied at nil-nil, and I really don't know. Their defense has been decent.

Want a chip?

"Uh, uh, huh?"

Lehmohn took a deep breathe, remembered that Joyn couldn't speak a word of Tamil, and told him, in Carmadese, what was going on. Joyn's response, to Lehmohn's dismay, was noncommital.

"Uh, uh, huh?"

[Baltskandio]

Margrete and Kirsten
Sponsored, as usual, by Milliways

Margrete: "Hey, Kirsten, more fan mail in the post!"

Kirsten: "Anything interesting?"

Margrete: "Soren from Jyllinge wants to know what we get paid."

Kirsten: "A lot. Per word, we are the best paid sportscasters in the world."

Margrete: "Really? That is news to me."

Kirsten: "Not to Milliways, though."

Margrete: "And Karin from Fredensborg asks if they count contractions as one word or two."

Kirsten: "Karin, you sound like a solicitor. The sponsor will let us know if we have issues."

Margrete: "Trust us, they do."

Kirsten: "Baltskandio three, Maron two. Until next time . . ."

[Gyatso-kai]

.:: GyatsoAir Flight 1487N, 25 minutes outside of Virabia ::.
0750 hours, 07 June 2012.2

As Boba Vhett turned around in his luxury-class seat, he could see straight to the back of the airplane. He could see his team --- the National Football Team --- sound asleep in their assigned seats; some leaning on windows, others on their teammates. He smiled when he looked to the Chief of Security, a young clone named Akaan, who was standing and patrolling the aisles.

"Akaan, udesii," he spoke in Mandalorian as he motioned towards the Luxury cabin of the aircraft.

"Alor'ad?"

"Shebe ti mhi," Vhett patted the empty seat next to him. "Ni lar'tatli Lowshot ja'haili be solus ca'nara."

Akaan looked towards Lowshot (CT-2234) and gave him a brief nod of the head; without their usual helmets, many a communication relied on head gestures.

As Akaan stepped into the section, a few of the coaching assistants smiled and sat up. Akaan gave them a collective bow before sitting down next to Vhett.

"Vhett, I may have spent one year at Mando," uttered Liu An Qiang, the Assistant Coach for the Bisons as he leaned forward, "But I have no idea what you just said!"

The other coaches all laughed as Vhett simply smiled and patted Akaan on the shoulder.

"Luckily for you, An, it wasn't meant for you. I was speaking to the illustrious commando here and him alone."

"And anyone else who speaks Mando'a," interjected Shen Laofu, the forward's assistant. "Shame we all aren't fluent in it, eh?"

"Speak for yourself. aruetiise,." As Itakawai Itsuko sat up, he simply spread out his hand. "Out of the seven of us, only you two aren't."

"Now now, udesii," Vhett said with a smile. "We aren't hear to talk linguistics, are we?"

"No, but have you been keeping up with news back home, Bob'buir," Liu stated as he handed an aPad to the head coach. On it, showed a copy of the national paper of the Island Emirate of Turori. "Seems an old friend is getting rather --- how did you phrase it Itsuko? --- aruetyc."

Vhett read through the article quickly, with Akaan looking over his shoulder. A frown soon erased the ever-present smile as he looked back up.

"Seems my old apprentice is thinking of getting himself a national job in Turori..."

"Who?"

"Leifong Saikhan... The Rock of Omashu."

Akaan gave a quick once-back to Vhett before the monsterous wall of Kololi Ki’se leaned back in his seat; the coaching assistant for the defence, he looked much more like a meshgeroya full back than a football coach.

"He used to coach with Vhett back when he was in Mando... and he was with us back in WC 57 as an assistant coach for the forwards."

Akaan nodded his head briefly before turning back to the conversation, which was feeling more like a military sitrep on an enemy leader than a conversation about a former co-worker.

"Where did he place in the hunt for the Gyatso-kaian job?" asked Shen as he took the aPad to read himself.

"I think," spoke Kusonagi Batou as he adjusted his long white hair. "He placed third after you two..." pointing towards Liu and Vhett. Kusonagi was another impressive beast; it was simply a surprise for Akaan when he read the man's profile, seeing he spent fifteen years as a lead striker for Northern AFC. To think a man that tall and that wide was amongst the fastest players of his day scared Akaan... only a little...

"And he is only what? Two years into the manager at Omashu?" stated Liu with a smirk.

"Something like that... I don't know," stated Vhett as he looked to his watch. "I am simply surprised he put in the application."

"And why not?" asked Liu as he leaned forward. "Omashu has gotten about as good as they are going to get under Leifong. Maybe it is time for him to move on..."

"Maybe," muttered Vhett as he turned to look out the window. Akaan was somewhat surprised by Vhett's reaction to the news about Leifong. One would think you would be happy for a former colleague who was set to advance...

Then again... Clan was everything to our people, Akaan thought as he looked to his own aPhone. And you never turn your back on the clan...

[Socialist States Owen]

BUGGER! FSSO's second string lineup drop points A report by Clint Covey

The FSSO 1–1 TaQud
Bastion Arena (Attendance: 63,094)

FSSO - 1
Daley 87

TAQUD - 1
Unknown 45 (Second Half)

Veteran substitute Scott Daley scored late on in this dreary home fixture where the FSSO dropped points fielding a weaker team against a poor TaQud side.

The FSSO made eleven changes going into this game and it showed as the team showed little synopticity in their play, unusually failing to connect more than a few passes together succesfully at a time. The first half was almost completely devoid of chances, with the only shot on target from the FSSO coming from Simon Xavier, who fired the ball straight at the keeper from 30 yards. Booed off at half time Ben Randall reportedley locked the doors of the dressing room - and gave his team a dressing down. This reporter was outside, and from the sounds of things, calling it a 'bollocking' would be too nice a word. However, it appears that it had little impact on the players who came out looking nervous and unconfident - then they conceded almost immediatley.

Dennis Arnold, making his first international appearance for half a dozen games, gifted possession to the away side on the halfway line with a terrible pass to Clive Dawson, and TaQud took advantage. Their midfielder stormed up the pitch before skipping past Michael Robertson and squaring the ball to their centre forward who placed the ball past Daniel Belgrave. The FSSO began to take control of the game approaching the last half hour but failed to create any real chances. The away side could not believe their luck! However, they would not go away with all three points and the FSSO saved some face with a late equaliser courtesy of Scott Daley. 6"7 striker Daley nodded the ball into the net past the TaQud keeper from an 87th minute James McCroft corner.

Man of the Match: Clive Dawson

The Starting Lineup

13. S Neeson
21. D Arnold
19. M Robertson
5. M Humphrey
22. N Kerr
7. McCroft
18. T Riley
12. C Dawson
20. J Cotterill
14. S Xavier
17. P Fessner

Substitutes

1. D Belgrave
2. N Feeney
4. J Paranaya
8. S Thompson
6. P Ryans
23. S Daley
10. L Sharp

[Jedi8246]

The Armor Wars
A Marvel RP Series for World Cup 60
Chapter 2: A Trip Overseas
Tony sat in his private jet, waiting for the flight to end. Upon his discovery that Dr Doom was responsible for the formation of his villains, he wondered why. But no matter how he figured it, Stark couldn't figure out why Doom had singled him out. Sure he was a genius and a creator of many technological wonders. But surely Doom would be more interested in Thor or Hulk. Someone whose power was neigh unstoppable. Yet Doom had tried to attract his attention. For that is the only reason why Doom left such clues. To get Stark' attention.

We will be landing in Latveria in five minutes. Please fasten your seatbelt as there may be slight turbulence.

Tony didn't bother. Crashing from the sky was never an option for him. He was slightly surprised though. Latveria had seemed perfectly amicable about allowing him into their country. What was more surprising was America allowing him. The relation between America and Latveria was tense, considering that their leader was often accused of aiding super villains in America. But sense no solid proof was ever found, America had no choice but to maintain diplomacy. Yet they allowed Tony to go in. It was odd.

His jet landed into the Latverian airstrip. It was of little importance to him the tumbling of the plane landing. He was quite used to it. Stepping from the plane, a member of the Latverian government greeted him.

"Mr Stark. Lord Doom has been expecting you. If you'll come with me."

"Expecting? How can he expect anything when my arrival has nothing to do with your leader? Riddle me that."

"Please.... come with me."

Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed his suitcase. He stepped into a waiting car, where the Latverian sat ready to drive. They drove from the airport and through the capital of Latveria. Stark pondered the events as they came ever closer to Castle Doom. Upon arrival, the Latverian opened his door and led Tony. The castle was grand and full of riches. Yet it was empty of people. At the doors of the throne room, the Latverian left without a word. Tony looked back, then went inside. Sitting in a grand throne was the man Victor von Doom. He was dressed in a green cloak, which covered his body. His chest and limbs were covered with metal armor, as was his mask. Upon Tony's entrance, he looked up.


"Mr Stark. How good to see you."

Tony walked forward until he reached an appropriate distance.

"Good? I'm a bit curious as to why I'm expected at all. Heh."

"Do not be naive Mr Stark. Your work is respected across the globe. When someone of your... talents visits my country, it would be only to see it's leader. Anything less would be insulting to the might that is Latveria. Don't you agree?"

The question was loaded. To say no would be to disrespect Doom and the nation. Tony's answer was already picked.

"Ah.. yes."

"You are smart as they say, Mr Stark. Now... why have you come to see me Mr Stark?"

"It's Tony. Mr Stark was my father. And I really think you know the answer to your own question... Mr Doom."

"Why would that be.... Tony?"

"Frankly I don't have time for your games. You funded and helped my enemies get battle suits. Your sign was quite clear."

"Now why would I do that?"

"You tell me. That's kinda how it works. I ask the question and you give the answer. You asking me the question that I just asked you is counter productive, don't you think?"

"Your accusing a foreign leader of funding terrorists. That is a serious accusation to make, one that your country seems too fond of leveling at me. I had hoped you were better Mr Stark."

"With all due respect, stop the lies. I didn't fly all the way here to listen to you lie about leaving me clear signs."

"Very well Mr Stark. I must say, well done."

"Why?"

"You passed my test. When I heard about your brilliance and amazing talents, I confess myself piqued. Yet Dr Doom does not take anybody else at their word. I had to determine your skills for myself. So I helped fund personal enemies of yours to determine what power you had. Your ability to determine the connection between the two has earned you a place by my side. Leave your country and become one of Latveria's greatest scientists. Together, Latveria will rise to greatness and place this planet under my control. This is the future. I offer you a chance to stand by my side and bring about a new order. An order of Doom."

"Wellll, after giving your offer serious consideration. And I must say it was a serious. A soul searching journey down roads not traveled and catching things in fields of rye. Ehh... NO. But thanks though."

"Do not be a fool Stark. You are throwing away opportunity. I will not make this offer again."

"See I'm kinda the super hero. Iron Man and all. Super heroes lock up bad guys like you, not join them. This may be a little confusing to you. Someone of lesser intelligence and all."

"You have brought Doom upon yourself Stark."

"Fond of those puns aren't ya? And my name is.."

Tony raised his briefcase to his chest, which began to move. It unfolded and wrapped itself around his body to form his armor. Iron Man stood poised for battle. He raised his hand and blasted a repulser ray at Doom. Doom was directly hit and was sent flying into the back wall.

"Tony."

[Wight]

.

[Falconwhereveryouare]

The Eagle’s Eye
Made from 100% Falconian paper!
SPORTS
The Porcelain Throne Renamed

By Otis Birmingham

Hold on, I’m going to go vomit.


Alright, now I’m back. That was an absolutely horrible display out there tonight, from both sides. The Falcons were kicking the ball around like a bunch of toddlers, it was a miracle Perry Dempsy found the net at 34’- and that was after a solo charge up the field, which was necessitated because every single pass was botched and found the fans more often than it found the players. Now you might be asking, “If the Falcons played so terribly, how did they win?” Well, I’ll satiate your curiosity. The JonathanAtopians somehow managed to out-suck them. Their passes never even made it close to anyone, bouncing around in dead space; it rarely went out of bounds, for some reason, but the JonathanAtopians were basically serving the ball up on a silver platter for the Falcons. While the Falcons looked more prey than predator, the JonathanAtopians- and I cannot stress this enough- just looked complete and utter shite.

As such, Art Jarrel made a bold claim after the game; all toilets are now to be called “Jons”, to forever commemorate this historically bad game. What better way to memorialize shit than where you shit? Anyway, next up is a good Silver Beach squad- they soundly beat Idaniera 3-1 recently; the Falcons will need to find their wings again if they want to get another three points.

[The Archregimancy]

THE SERMONS OF FR. SERAPHIM THE SANCTIMONIOUS

ON OUR GLORIOUS HUMBLING BY GYATSO-KAI

Brothers! Do not be disheartened!

I know some of you are wringing your hands, tearing at your beards, and flagellating yourselves in sorrow at the news of Gyatso-kai's upset 1-0 victory last night.

Truly it was an epic of incompetence, and while we would all recognise that the heathen Kita had a fantastic match in goal for our opponents, the two missed penalties by MC Monky L-Man, the referee's flagrant disregard of a professional foul by Akiyama that all neutrals agree should have resulted in a clear red card, and the ludicrous decision to award a goal for a Wakahisa shot that came nowhere near crossing the line, the team should not shirk its own responsibility for this humbling.

And is not humility a virtue?

I remind all of you - and our national team - of the key components of Christian humility:

Firstly is yielding one's rights and possessions to God.
Second comes earning the right to be heard rather than demanding a hearing.
Thirdly comes responding properly to anger when others violate one's personal rights.

Thus it is that we must accept this result, no matter how disheartening, how unfair, and how unjust it may seem to be.

I would remind you of St. Paul's Letter to the Philippians, particularly Philippians 2:1-17:

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain. Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all.

So let us go forth now without murmurings and disputings, and accept this football result as the glorious opportunity for rejoicing that it undoubtedly is!

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Garson Poole was bored.

Ever since he had discovered that he was an electric ant - an organic robot - following that unfortunate car accident, he had been prone to fits of boredom.

Even worse was the discovery of the tape in his chest cavity. He shuddered to think of the time he'd cut the tape, and the whole world had.... Just as well those Dreamed Realm oneiromancers had come around and repaired the tape just as everything was fading away, otherwise the whole of Ordinary Reality might have simply ceased to be.

Or was it that Garson Poole would have simply ceased to have been aware of Ordinary Reality - he was never quite sure of the difference, or whether there even was a difference.

Still, when he was bored - and right now he was very, very bored (he had never really liked soccer, however compelling this Tzimisces character seemed to be; Poole had always preferred American sports, sports for real men. Yes, he was aware of the irony) - he still liked to experiment with punching or covering holes in his chest tape. From what he could understand, the outcome wasn't dissimilar to the creation of new realities in the Dreamed Realm, but Poole could do it in Ordinary Reality, too.

Though whether the impact on reality was limited to his perception of reality, or whether it really objectively happened, was something else he'd never quite worked out.

He opened his chest, punched a couple of new holes in the tape, and watched it slowly glide towards the reader. The impact usually came 15 minutes later.

15 minutes later Satan ate the yellow snow.

Then Poole tried to cover up three holes.

15 minutes later the violet sun rained on the mole king.

Still bored, and feeling a little daring and experimental, next Poole tried punching in three new holes, and covering up one old one.

15 minutes later the sports pages read Scrap Brain Zone 3, The Holy Empire 3.

Wow, Poole thought to himself. Just as well something as insane as that result could never really objectively happen (why, oddly enough he could even remember playing in a game that had surely never really happened) otherwise Tzimisces would be really upset.

He stopped playing with his tape; that was quite enough oddity for one day.

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

Pocoan fans clapped the team off as they claimed another three points, although it could have been much different. Starting strongly, a sudden break from sense saw The Whites lose their grip on a comfortable three goal lead and nearly throw away all the points in the last 20 minutes,

In stark contrast to the qualifying opener, Queer Poco started the game on the front foot with Abel Cain on hand to tap in from right on the post after only six minutes, scoring his third in only two games and blazing a trail as The Whites leading scorer early on in the campaign. His goal was added to with a curling free kick from Aydin Sukur, who, after being felled outside the Vescia box by a two footed lunge, dusted himself off, tested the direction of the wind with a little spittle on his index finger thrust in the air, picked his spot and doubled QPeMA’s lead.

The Whites remained on top of the game well into the second half and notched a third through Vinny Landolfi. Playing a neat one-two with Augustus midfielder Lionel Johnson, the Skyte striker broke into the box, completely unmarked (he coulda wandered into the box, pitched a tent and camped there, the defence was that reluctant to mark him, if he wanted) before putting his laces through the ball and smashing it into the back of the net.

And thus it looked like interim coach Dean Bowyer’s team were cruising to three easy points. That was, until the sillyness. 68 minutes in, centre back Daisuke Endo got his marching orders for a tug on one of the travelling attackers as the striker broke the offside trap. The subsequent penalty was converted. 6 mins later, the QPeMA side found themselves in the same position as the defence reverted to headless chickens and through the wave of panic suddenly present across the back 43 wingback Juste Bonheur leapt in on one of the opposition midfielders. Aruna Traore guessed the right way but his hands just weren’t big enough or his arms long enough to reach the ball and prevent Vescia scoring a second.

Fortunately, reverting to a 4-4-0 for the final 16 minutes of the game was enough to keep Bowyer’s team in front and claim the vital three points. And, despite Aruna Traore apparently breaking his wrist deep into injury to compound the Whites problems for the coming games, it was smiles all round at the final whistle.

-----

Q.P.e.M.A.F.A announce next coach.

The Pocoan Football Association has revealed the man who will be tasked with guiding the Whites to the World Cup. Cotdelapomais coach Sacha Chrétien. TQCC winner with FKM and former Mangolana and Cotdelapoms coach has been given a contract for the next two World Cup campaigns.

His first game in charge will test the coach’s mettle, with 5 first team players absent with goalkeeper Aruna Traore (broken wrist), defender Jeffrey Onyewu (sore knee) and Henry Onwuzuruike (sprained ankle) missing through injury and defenders Daisuke Endo and Juste Bonheur both suspended.

The Whites travel to the Union of Myanmar, with the team looking for a third consecutive victory.

[Audioslavia]

"Jaiki!" squealed a young voice behind striker Marc Vauvenargues, who would have turned round to question the speaker on what exactly he'd just said, had he not been busy mowing the grass at the 1927 stadium with his front teeth. Vauvenargues spat a tuft of grass at the floor and looked up, admonishingly, at the shrinking figure of the referee, the black-clad umpire having turned his back and following a high ball back up towards Audioslavia's half.
"Jaiki! Jaiki" came the insistent voice behind Vauvenargues, who spun round on the turf. The squealer was one Txordin Velazquez, nineteen year-old midfielder and something of a hot prospect. The Herraduran had already usurped Mauro Calvino to claim a place in Audioslavia's starting eleven only one match into his international career. The future indeed looked bright for the youngster.

If only he could get past that language barrier.

"Jaiki.... Levantese!... er... ¡Levántate!"

Marc got the message. He got to his feet and narrowed his eyes at the midfielder, who nodded as if to say 'pfft, finally', before retreating back to his own half to defend.

It hadn't been a very good game for Marc Vauvenargues, and this little pipsqueak's language limitations only served to worsen the striker's mood. Audioslavia were still, sixty minutes in, drawing nil-all with Traila in a home encounter that the team desperately needed to win to have any hope of securing a qualifying berth to World Cup 60. Marc had missed two glorious opportunities in the first half, one a far post header that he tamely nodded over the bar, the other a zipped through-ball that he'd sliced wide first-time when, on reflection, he could have comfortably controlled the ball and picked his spot past an out-of-position goalkeeper. It had been young Velazquez that had played the ball through to him for that second opportunity, and the arrogant teenager had made his opinion's on Marc's efforts at finishing quite clear with an exhasperated, dramatic squeal of "Ergelak Kaka". Marc may have 'only' been a franco and anglophone, but he needed no hope translating 'kaka', and a half-time conference with another Ausque-speaking Audioslavian had revealed, helpfully, that 'Ergelak' translated as 'Stupid'. The cheeky shit. Velazquez's persistant cries of 'Jaiki', 'Levantese' and 'Levantate' most probably meant something along the lines of 'get the **** up'. Marc wasn't sure what pissed him off more, that Txordin Velazquez had assumed he'd have stayed on the ground for the entire game had he not given him his useful advice, or that the young midfielder couldn't even bring himself to remember the correct Anglo term for 'get the **** up' - namely, 'get the **** up' - when pressed. Anglo was the official language of Audioslavia and the enforced language of the national team since its inception, but one of their brightest stars couldn't even pick out the correct phrase in three attempts. That would need to change.

Marc finally regained his bearings, the anger and shock - shock of a heavy, disorientating challenge from a Traila defender just outside the box that he'd demanded a penalty for, without luck - and got himself into a roughly onside position for another Audioslavian attack. Jeroen had gotten the ball down the right wing and was making his way to the by-line to send in another cross - one that Marc would be expected to get on the end of. The striker entered the area, only to see the winger check back and turn back on himself, using his marker's momentum against him to gain a precious four seconds of breathing space at the expense of having to use his weaker left foot to play a pass. Marc jockeyed for position with a couple of big Traila defenders, trying to make sure he had some kind of angle for a prospective pass with every passing second. Jeroen cut a low, short pass to an oncoming Velazquez, who controlled the ball quickly and efficiently and burst into the area ahead of his marker, forcing one of the two defenders covering Marc to meet the Ausque-Audioslavian. Marc made the most of the extra space, taking a few quick steps backwards while his solitary marker's eyes were averted. Marc shot a hand up into the air to no avail - Velazquez's eyes were on the ball, and the ball only. With a shuffle the youngster took the ball past one defender, bringing a roar of approval from the crowd and instantly changing the remit of Marc's marker, who now had to meet the midfielder himself, while also staying in the way of any prospective pass to a now utterly-free Vauvenargues. Marc kept his hand raised and screamed 'Txordin, now!'. Txordin looked up, saw Vauvenargues utterly unmarked and almost certainly calculated that a short square pass would result in a goal for the striker. Txordin's eyes returned to the ball, and in a millisecond Vauvenargues realised what was going to happen. The young midfielder had ignored the appeal for a pass, and had decided to go for goal himself. A dumb decision, in the circumstances, with three players surrounding the number nineteen.

Just a split-second later, the ball in the back of the net. The right boot of the midfielder had snapped through the ball and sent it crashing into the roof of the net from twelve yards, at a tight angle, through two players and past an unsighted goalie at the near post.

Txordin tore past Vauvenargues on his way to the Audioslavian fans in the corner of the pitch, screaming 'Baaaaaaaiiiiii' at the top of his high-pitched voice.

Marc still had his hand raised for the prospective pass. He lowered it, slowly, watching the shrinking figure of Txordin Velazquez race towards the crowd, pursued by a number of other claret and green shirts.

After the celebrations, Txordin flashed Marc a glance as the two jogged back to Audioslavia's half. A glance that seemed to say 'that's how you do it, son'. Marc wasn't sure if there actually was a 'son' at the end of that implied sentence, but it certainly felt like it. Being usurped by that young stallion rankled with him to his very core.

Vauvenargues got himself a goal, that night, knocking in a rebounded cross for Audioslavia's third goal, but Marc felt it wouldn't make a difference to the young nineteen year-old Ausque-speaking Audioslavian. This was a rare thing on an Audioslavian football pitch; an ego in the making. Audioslavian football didn't do egos. You played for the team and that was it, you ran, sweated and bled together. 'Individual' players were trained to use their sublime talents for supplying pin-point passes and opening space for advancing midfielders and goal-poaching forwards. A post-game exchange of words between himself and friend Weverton Sporadic confirmed that the playmaker - long regarded as Audioslavia's best - shared Vauvenargues' concerns. Here was a man who didn't, or wouldn't, speak the same language as the rest of the team, and seemed to be playing for his own betterment, rather than that of the team. Sporadic had, nevertheless, made it clear that he didn't care what happened, who played, and who scored, as long as Audioslavia won.

It would be an interesting campaign.

[Astograth]

From the Archives of RL Sports
World Cup 2

Spain:

Quarterfinal replay (after 1-1 draw):
Italy 1 - 0 Spain @ Stadio Giovanni Berta, Florence

I demand a best-of-3 series.

Italy: Oh, do get over it. I don't see Portugal complaining.

Portugal: The qualifying series WAS best-of-3 (sort of).

Italy: Hm. Oh well! The scores for the semifinals are in!

Italy 1 - 0 Austria @ Stadio San Siro, Milan
Czechoslovakia 3 - 1 Germany @ Stadio Nazionale del PNF, Rome

Sorry guys, better luck next time! Especially Germany... you know how Margaret is, mate.

Germany: Yeah. I'll remember this. See you both in II, and Austria too.

Switzerland: Congratulations Italy! And Czechoslovakia! And Austria! Germany! Everyone!

Czechoslovakia: Awwwww yeeeeah this one's ours. Nejedlý hat-trick if that's alright with Germany.

Austria: I'll be back.

Argentina: Congratulations, but can we tone down the godmod players please? Like this Neejedly guy? I know I'm out, but it's getting annoying to read about.

Brazil: Hey, if you can't beat 'em join 'em

Argentina: When Krytenia win a final.

Italy: Third-place match!

Germany 3 - 2 Austria @ Stadio Giorgio Ascarelli, Naples

Hope you're not still mad

Germany: I guess we can be allies <3

Italy: Yay! And as a reminder, one hour to the final so RP if you want!

Czechoslovakia: RPing atm, can you wait a bit before scoring (scorinating? lol)

Italy: Nope! Cutoff!

WORLD CUP 2 FINAL
Stadio Nazionale del PNF, Rome
Italy 2 - 1 Czechoslovakia (AET!)

Forza Italia!!

Czechoslovakia: WTF man

France: Italy, please reply to the official TG I sent you. You have some answering to do.

Uruguay: ((OOC: Told you so))

[Alexanderburn]

Coach Kingsley looked up from his clipboard.

"All right, everybody, for this game, we're going back to our 3-5-2 formation. Same lineup as against Cowardly Pacifists, except Cremonesi is in for Massie, and Frederiksen is in for Sirois."

The team was in shock. Here he was, the greatest coach of all time, and he was benhcing the experienced Massie and Sirois for two new boys who have barely appeared at all on the team. Yet at the same time, the 23 men were seemingly satisfied, and they comprehended that changes need to be made if they were to beat Akbarabad at home.

"The game is in less than an hour, so let's get to work. Everyone knows what to do, what? Ready... Break!"

[Yesopalitha]

HVR After Match 2

Sometimes, being Captain of a squad means knowing when to take over during a game. There is no real determining factor of when to do this - no guidelines, no rules of "When so and so happens, take over the game and try to do as much by yourself as possible", but there are times that this occurs. Knowing when to take over games, and when certain players are hot/not performing well is a telltale sign of knowing how to handle the position of Captain, especially on a national squad.

I found myself in such a position in the eighty-seventh minute of the second game of the qualifying cycle, away at Harjeland. The two sides had fought so hard, with an astounding number of yellow cards (eight, with four per side), numerous fouls, and many spectacular goals and saves, that by that time, everyone was getting a bit fatigued. The score read 2-2, and many of the looks on the Harjeland players' faces had looks of pride as they had almost held the third ranked team in their group to a draw.

However, the game wasn't over yet. Although there are no such things as official time-outs in football, you can talk to your teammates during the game. In one pass-through, I told Noah that I wanted the next ball. He nodded, and I think he spread the message to the defense. I got the message to other players, too, and in about three minutes' time, the entire squad knew that I was going to take over for a bit.

You see, it was a miracle that we were still in this game. After our opening game against Audioslavia, my squad looked extremely tired after the flight to Harjeland; when the game began, it was hard to tell that this had been the same side to shut out Audioslavia by a score of 2-0. Ásbergsson beat Jonah to the left post only five minutes into the game, and ten minutes later, Sigurgeirsson hit a low liner that Jonah misjudged. We were down 2-0 after a quarter of play, and the roar at the Puffins' home stadium was deafening.

The counter-attacking game, though, started to create opportunities. We got our first real chance at the twenty-second when Isaac crossed the ball deftly over the goal. Qunicy headed it, but Hartmannsson caught it. Although this attack failed, it was the tipping point of the half, and indeed, the game.

Our attacking style started to really wear away at the Puffins' defense. On the thirty-second, Nadya beat Andersson on the side, and struck the ball back at Fantasia. The only female player in the Astograthian League swung her leg, and the ball buried itself in the top right corner, trimming the Puffins' lead to 2-1. The roar of the crowd lessened, as the viewers could see that the aggressor and the victim had changed roles.

During half, Sir James told us to calm down, slow down, and make good choices. He said that the Puffins were starting to show signs of breaking down, and as long as we kept pressing in our counter-attacks, we would have more chances to score. I told the team to play no longer than fifteen-yard passes, and to save our shots for prime opportunities.

One of these prime opportunities came at the seventieth minute. I got the ball from Kristínarsson, leaving the poor guy on the dirt by a nice juke, and saw Isaac lurking about the twenty-five yard line, his favorite spot. My pass was spot-on, and he fired one of his signature volleys - curving, varying speeds, with a wicked spin - to the top left corner of the net to tie the game.

Fifteen minutes later, neither side was gaining an advantage, and this was when I made my move by telling my teammates to get me the ball. The team got the message across...

About the time that the referee signaled that there would be two minutes of injury time added, Michael stopped an attack by Sigurgeirsson. He passed the ball to Naisi, who gave it to Jane. Jane brought it up ten yards, and then hit it to where I was. I motioned for Ivan and Nadya to get up front. Making sure they weren't offside, they cut through the Puffin defense, distracting many of the defenders away from me. I kept possession of the ball, and gave it to Qunicy, who took three steps forward and passed it back to me. Twenty-one yards out, from the left, I hit the ball, and, as if touched by the hand of Zaiden itself, it snaked its way into the net, past the hands of Hartmannsson to take the game.

After my teammates finished mobbing me, and Sir James offered his congrats, we started to talk about the task at hand for the next game: Polar Islandstates. True, they had just narrowly, barely defeated an unranked team, but the Terns were the Terns, and they would still offer a very stiff test. In front of our home fans at The Sacred Heart, whether we would have what it took to actually fight for a qualifying spot this cycle or not would be revealed to us. A draw would be amazing, and a win would be miraculous...

Hopefully, I won't have to take over in that game. But if I have to, I will.

Peace out. -HVR-

[Unified Falcon]

After MD2
Vititi, Isildar, Falconfar, Unified Falcon

Every time that their son, Harold, is to take the field, the Nehafsaim family in Vititi gather around an old radio. Harold has offered to buy them a big-screen plasma TV with his earnings; he has even offered to give them tickets to his games, but his parents, Raoul and Sophia, would rather listen to the game in their old stereo system, and imagine the action that was taking place, partially described by the radio announcer. They stated that this, above all things, kept their imagination and their minds alive. Being the good son he was, Harold took the money and time to make sure that the stereo was working, and that his parents would know exactly when to tune in to hear the games live, even with all his traveling.

Half the time, the elder Hehafsaims would even have problems memorizing their sons' opponents' names, with some of them being so obscure. However, "Equatorial Sarmen" seemed plausible. They listened for the duration of the game, trying to remember that "Jacques Didier" was a goalkeeper for the Peregrine Falcons and that "Harvey Smith" was a Striker for the Terminators.

The game had been going for a while - Raoul remembered that the announcer had just said that the game had gone past the seventy-third minute - when they heard this:

"Damon Hawk takes the ball, and dribbles up-field. He passes Woods, slots it to Nehafsaim. Can the man who won the scoring title for the Astograthian League score the goal for the Falcons? He fakes Norman, and now, there's only Montin the Goalkeeper to beat. From five yards out, he shoots - Goal! Goal! Nehafsaim has done it! A low ground liner to the right post that the keeper completely misplayed! And the Falcons have the first goal of this World Cup qualifying cycle, off of the right boot of Harold Nehafsaim!"

Sophia and Raoul listened to the game to the conclusion, and their son's goal ended up to be the only score in an otherwise tight contest.

Afterwards, they did what they always do after Harold's games, regardless of win or lose - they sent him a text.

Code: Select all

Good job today on the pitch. You gave it your all out there, and we are proud of you. Travel safely, and stay healthy. Love you. Mom and Dad

The stereo was put away carefully, into a safe. It would be taken out again the next game that Harold played in... And there would be two sets of ears wishing their son the best of luck.

[Equatorial Sarmen]

After the 1-0 loss to Unified Falcon, Equatorial Sarmen stand in eighth place, with no points and a goal difference of minus 5. Equatorial Sarmen's hopes are beginning to slowly drain away. The Terminators were matching the Peregrine Falcons blow-for-blow, until the 73rd minute, when Harold Nehafsaim tapped the ball into the net from a few yards out. Equatorial Sarmen had a goal disallowed late on, when Jacob Powers was judged to have elbowed Laheem Bahrat before heading the ball past Jacques Didier. The Terminators fans were outraged at the decision, but the Kagdaz referee Denis Evdikimov waved away the protests. Hopefully a few poor performances will not have cost the Terminators their qualification, but there is certainly a chance that the morale is too low to recover properly.

[Alexanderburn]

"Gødenakta," exclaimed Frederiksen. He could not contain himself.
"Mama, I'm on the starting 11!"

Torben's mom cheered in delight. It was an unexpected surprise that made the whole family happy.

The Langarese-born footballer is new to this cup's lineup, and is already featured in the starting 11. The starting eleven also hosts some of the best and most diverse group of Alexanderburnese playeds in the nation, and with youngsters such as Frederiksen at the age of 20, they will not see their prime for years.

Tonight's lineup against Akbarabad will feature the toughest and strongest players of the World Cup facing an ever-determined Alexanderburnese side. Good luck to everyone, and good luck to Alexanderburn!