World Cup 98 | RP thread

[Aleirave]

Threepeated

Another day, another match against Ko-oren. That's three in the span of six months, for those keeping track at home.

It's almost poetic, a matchup which cemented the Seagulls' place in history in the WC 97 knockouts has now come back to give them a dash of reality not once, but twice. First, by seeing them eliminated from CAFA 10, and now by splashing cold water in their faces to start out World Cup 98 Qualifying. Haulafo Paka'ula, however, still had his hopes high for this matchup. After all, they could do it once, they could do it again. It was all about bringing back the version of themselves that contested the previous year's World Cup, and he was confident they could do just that.

The rest of the schedule also had some very interesting matchups: as early as MD2, they'd be squaring off against the winners of the most recent Baptism of Fire, Grand Exultia, in what would be the first WCC match hosted in their Gyrinx National Park. Following that, a slew of teams who had their sights set on qualifying: Riena, Reçueçn, Libesia, Christian Brothers, and finally, Valentine Z. Final before they'd play the return matches, anyway. Reçueçn and Valentine Z especially would be critical matches for the Seagulls, as there would be 1.5 other qualifying spots coming out of this group behind the one that would almost inevitably be taken by the Dragonflies, who had qualified for the last 15 World Cups in a row and would likely have no problem making it 16.

What would a Seagulls run back to the World Cup even look like in a group like this? Well for one, getting at least 2-1-1 or similar in those matches against Reçueçn and Valentine Z. Any worse, and one of those two would likely appear above them, if not both. They'd won the playoff last time, sure, but ideally that wouldn't be needed this time out. Beating Ko-oren in this opener at the Old Grounds, even though it wouldn't be necessarily required, would also be an amazing look, and Haulafo was readying this team for just that.

It was time for them to go over the mistakes of their last match, one that was still fresh in all of their memories. While in the moment it had felt like Ko-oren was simply unbeatable from the start, upon further review of the game tape, they realized that actually, there were a few things they could improve upon, even things they had done in their World Cup Finals match that just weren't there in the CAFA Cup. Not just big things, but even the little tactical errors that let things slowly slip away from them. They had all the time in the world to learn from what they had done wrong, and they knew they could get it right this time.

As time went on and the day of the match approached, this team felt readier than ever to take on the world. While their toughest test of all was waiting for them right out the gate, they had passed the test before and they could do it again. After all, this was Aleirave. They may be a small nation, but they were ready for anything.

[Chromatika]

Roster Selection for Matchdays 1 & 2
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov - Howard-Dawes.
Reserves: GK Hailee Sourtois, GK Jill Swanson, DCR Paisley Paterson, DC Rowan Harry, DCL Uemura Saburo, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, WBR Ibayashi Haitou, WBL Nemes Mátyás, DLP Alija Mesic-Mizayaki, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, AM Maddie Prenn, AM Þyrill Bjarnhéðinsson, AF Marietta Fucheux, AF Adélaïde Bittencourt, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste.

---

Anomalies at a Crossroads

When the Anomalies take on Kronbia at the Frozen Stadium in Felswyr, Mountain District to open up World Cup 98 Qualifying, it won't be just a qualifying game starting another cycle. No, the mood around the team has changed, and there is far more on the line than ever before. Since placing second in World Cup 93, Chromatik football has only gone downhill - they lost in the Round of Sixteen in World Cup 94 and 95, and then crashed out of the Group Stage in World Cup 96. The last World Cup ended up being the worst, as the Anomalies would not even make it out of the Group Stage of the World Cup Proper, even with the field expanding to forty-eight and there being a Round of Thirty-Two.

Therefore, the bare minimum of this group of players is to make the Second Round of the World Cup Proper - and if they do more than that, that would be even more appreciated. To do that, they will have to first qualify - and in this current edition's format, that means either placing in the top two of the group or winning a playoff game among third place finishers. Chromatika's group contains long-time friends Tumbra along with the likes of Darmen, Kronbia, kimi-Suomi, Hispinas, Martian Independent Republic, and the unranked Bir Matras. The way that the schedule shakes out, the Anomalies will get to open with back-to-back games at home before hitting the road; the home match against Tumbra is at Matchday 4. They will have to travel to three games in a row between Matchday 7 and 9. There isn't a particularly difficult stretch, and with the Anomalies shrinking the Qualifying roster from fifty players to thirty-five, everyone should see considerably more play.

Many fans will be shocked to know that neither Myana, Urrheddiao, nor Tihon got any home games. For the second cycle in a row, home games will only be played in the main island as the reconstruction of the eastern half of Myana Island continues and Urrhed Island is expected to be hit with a series of intense storms during the qualifiers. It's a great opportunity for the likes of Felswyr, Lanar, and Sanar, who would've likely been replaced by the other three cities had they been available.

Looking at the selection of players for these qualifiers, it's obvious that Chromatka is staring at the beginning of the end of an age. Sure, one could've started noticing the signs when Henri de Aea, Enigma Armageddon, and most recently, Haley Hauser hung up their cleats, but this roster has ushered in the absence of Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov and the fact that this will be the last World Cup for one Juxon Fillar. The fact that we are nearing the end of the Fillar Age - once deemed the Golden Age of Chromatik football - is a sign of the times indeed. That "Golden Age" never really materialized, as the one-time second placed finish hasn't been followed up with much.

With the Chromatik Security Council having had power for more than a year now, and the planning of a free election in place, Chromatik society once again looks at the Anomalies for a bit of good news and guidance. Chromatika needs its Anomalies more than ever, and with confidence shaken in recent cycles, the results that this current team puts out on the pitch will determine a lot.

Chromatik Football Federation President Viktor Karras, Jr. stated this in a recent interview:

"The Anomalies have been there for us as a nation since the very beginning of our existence, when the Rainbow Revolution and the Shadow Writers helped the country come into being. We've had our ups and downs, our moments of triumph and of despair. However, the Anomalies have never stopped representing our nation on the global stage, and never stopped making us proud to call them our team. It is true that the last three years have been another kind of sorrow to our already maligned nation. We look forward to building up to a brighter future as a country - and the Chromatik National Team remain a symbol of that hope for many, many more years to come."

Fourteen, maybe fifteen games. Then three more. It may be a roster of twenty-six that heads to the pitch, but they have the heartbeats of more than thirty million souls behind them, hanging on to every move, every swing of the foot, every goal.

That is what it means to be a Chromatik.

[Siovanija and Teusland]

A Different Campaign
Volume I
Election

“Good evening, Siovanija & Teusland. I’m Gunter Kranz, your host of the Talking Politics program here on RBC News. It was required after 4 years, but it’s coming a little earlier than anticipated: the writ has dropped, and we will head to the polls exactly 6 weeks from today.”

Clips of Chancellor Lara Hauser, the leader of the National Democratic Union and the woman who had now held the post of Chancellor for the last 7 and a half years, meeting with President Gerd Steiner at the Green House that morning to call the election, filled the screen.

Kranz continued. “By law, the government was required to hold an election by the end of this year, but instead of the expected fall election they’ve opted for the spring - as the Chancellor stated today, hoping to receive a ‘new mandate heading into a new budget period.’ I have an excellent panel joining me tonight, made up of Hendrik Berg, a long-time strategist and advisor to former Chancellor Dominik Meier; Svetlana Tsvetkovic, a journalist with the Borograd Dnevnik, and Bruno von Luttow-Vognitz, a high-ranking member of the List Freies Teusland. Hendrik, Lara, Bruno, welcome to the program. Hendrik, let’s go to you first with the obvious question - why now?”

Berg smiled. His hair was grey now, but in his younger days, he had been quite the political force - one of the architects of Dominik Meier’s weltpolitik strategy. “Thank you, Gunter. Well, it’s pretty simple: the NDU are far, far ahead in the polls. In the previous election, the governing coalition managed a total of 211 seats, more than enough for a majority in the National Chancellery. Four years later, most polling data indicates that if the election was held today the coalition would be around 220 seats, give or take. Chancellor Hauser remains popular, the government seems to be in good standing with the people, and there’s no reason for the country to make a change now.”

Kranz jumped in: “We have seen the NDU and its allies - notably the Christian Union and the List Freies Teusland - jump in the polls over the last few years. What have been the major reasons for this, Hendrik?”

“A political strategist long before my time once said: it’s the economy, stupid. And when it comes to the economy, is there any bad thing that can be said about this government? Sure, no government is perfect, but Chancellor Hauser was brought into office on a wave of support many years ago due to her plan to end isolation. She did just that, and since then, what have we seen? The ports are booming, construction is booming, every economic indicator you could wish to be green has been green for years. It’s success that is also felt in the average citizen’s wallet: salaries have increased, and the average family in Stelburg or Borograd can afford to take a nice vacation every once in a while. It’s one of the best economic periods this country has seen in years.”

Berg paused before continuing. “But beyond the economy, too, the government has seen success in building its relationships with regional partners, and in Teusland specifically the government has enjoyed massive popularity ever since the victory in the Sankt Konrad War. Our politics are always an interesting balancing act: the more liberal Siovanija and the more conservative Teusland. Usually, it takes a great deal of momentum to remove a government from power: for my old boss Chancellor Meier, it was a series of foreign policy disasters. For Chancellor Karamov, it was the ruin that isolation caused. There is no wave that could oppose Chancellor Hauser here, and frankly, I expect this to be one of the least interesting elections in recent memory.”

Kranz moved on. “I want to bring in Bruno here. Bruno, your List Freies Teusland has been a coalition partner of the NDU since the end of isolation, and it seems like that is going to continue for another election cycle. Together with the Christian Union, your party is one of the key players in the coalition. Why does your party have faith in the NDU?”

Bruno von Luttow-Vognitz nodded. Himself descended from the old Teus aristocracy, his party once advocated for the return of the monarchy before rebranding during isolation as a Teus nationalist party. Many of the old guard - Bruno included - would privately desire a return to the monarchy, but at least for now, that was a dead issue. Tonight, he was here to stump for the new era. “Thank you for having me tonight, Herr Kranz. Our party is dedicated to the success of the Teus people - be it in Teusland, Siovanija, or beyond. The NDU has always proven itself as a party willing to stand up for Teusland. The end of isolation - which our party worked closely with the Chancellor on - brought hope to the people once again. The NDU has always been a strong ally of the Teus minority in Siovanija, too - and the war against the terror of Valljas Bancu proved they will stand up for Teus citizens across the world. I can’t think of a leader in this country’s history that has done more for the Teus nation than Lara Hauser, and our party is more than proud to be her partner.”

Kranz nodded. “Bruno, many voters - and I should note that these are voters in both Teusland and in Siovanija - say that parties like yours should not be part of the election process. You represent only areas that have Teus populations, and don’t run any candidates in the rest of Siovanija. It’s claimed that, in a united country, a political party that only represents half of its people should not have power. How do you respond to that?”

Bruno smiled again. “First of all, what is beautiful about our country and democracy is that anyone with an idea that is supported by the people can be elected and represent that idea in the Chancellery. Should anyone wish to represent a similar idea for the Siovanijan people, they are more than welcome to do so. Secondly, our party is pro-Teusland, and by absolutely no means does that imply anti-Siovanija. In fact, we’ve often worked with our Siovanijan colleagues in the Chancellery to get legislation done that benefits both nations. We choose not to vote on matters that affect only Siovanija, because we believe those decisions should be made by the Siovanijan people - just like how Teus matters should be decided by the Teus people. Our nations have enjoyed over 150 years of peace and unity, and that is the greatest accomplishment of our history - but it’s also important to work on issues that affect only one side, and that’s where we have always worked for the Teus people.”

The host once again smiled, and thanked his guest. “Now, Svetlana, I want to throw it over to you. We’ve heard from the two previous guests about the government’s successes over the last few years - where is the opposition going to focus on? And, amongst the parties outside of the governing coalition, who stands the best chance at making gains this time around?”

The young journalist smiled - a political science graduate, she lived for election season, and her voice carried that excitement. “Gunter, it’s going to be hard for the opposition parties to do anything about the NDU’s massive lead in the polls. Since the end of isolation, the parties on the left have been in disarray. The more moderate faction, led by the Labour Party, have struggled to find charismatic people to lead the party, and they’ve lost their once-strong grip on the Siovanijan electorate. Then you have the radicals - Ruslan Karamov and the Republicans. No matter how toxic they are in Teusland, in Siovanija they hold onto a solid 35%, on average, which goes higher in urban areas like Borograd and Vlaikograd. Karamov, love him or hate him, has a charisma about him that even the disaster of isolation couldn’t fully break. He’s in a tough position, though. There’s no real successor with his strength, so his movement lives and dies on his political fortunes. He’s not getting any younger, meaning another 4 years of NDU rule could be the end of the Republicans if they don’t show energy here. The Republicans can’t fight the government on isolation or the economy, even Karamov knows that - but by turning it into a referendum, at least in Siovanija, on so-called ‘Teus imperialism, and the Sankt Konrad War, he can try to unite the left in Siovanija behind him.”

Kranz jumped in for one final question. “Is that really going to be a strategy that works for him? What are the key issues for voters in this election - on both sides of the mountains?”

Svetlana smiled again. “Whether or not it works for him remains to be seen, of course, but it’s the only move he has to keep his movement alive. When it comes to key issues for voters - it’s really a bit all over the place, Gunter. There aren’t any major scandals this government is facing - in Teusland, the Chancellor has an 84% approval rating. In Siovanija, that’s a more modest 52%, generally. Speaking with some of my colleagues in Stelburg, I know that they’ve been hearing from voters that the words ‘economy’ and ‘stability’ often come up in election conversations. There’s also been a resurgence, since the end of the Sankt Konrad War, in support for Teus nationalist parties. Here at the Borograd Dnevnik, we put out a poll online this morning asking what voters found to be their top issues - the winning issue was the economy, naturally, but ‘national unity’ was quite popular as an answer. If Karamov opens up the ‘war and imperialism’ box, there could be difficult conversations ahead for NDU strategists as to how to respond in Siovanija.”

The host now gave his trademark grin to the camera. “Hendrik, Bruno, Svetlana - it’s been lovely having you on the program tonight, and I’m sure we’ll hear more from each of you as the election progresses. That’s all for Talking Politics, I’ve been Gunter Kranz, from the RBC Studio Stelburg we bid you goodnight!

Siovanija & Teusland 25 man squad
International window #1: vs Drawkland (Nationalstadion, Stelburg); @ Damukuni

Goalkeepers: Holz, Bodeker, Kranz
Defenders: Schwefel, Wimmer, Reichenbach, Gellner, Steinhausl, Apel, Rodl, Sanner
Midfielders: Porsche, Gruber, Prekmurje, Winter, Le Meji, Rosberg
Wingers: Vadimic, Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Zschokke, Trstenjek
Forwards: Hackl, Burger, Seidl

Expected XI vs Drawkland: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl, Rodl, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje, Le Meji; Vadimic, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl
Expected XI vs Damukuni: Bodeker; Wimmer, Apel, Rodl, Gellner; Porsche, Winter, Le Meji; Korlikov, Zschokke, Burger

[Sarzonia]

The last day of training wasn't going to plan.

Caleb Rush had seen enough of his team's lethargy to last a lifetime. He blew his whistle with three loud, obnoxious blasts and stomped to the centre of the indoor training pitch.

"Folks, that was unacceptable!" he snapped. "I've seen better training habits from youth sides. We're done in here."

Rush saw the bewildered looks on the players' faces, realising he thought they meant they were done with training for the day. He smirked fiendishly, then said, "we're done in here, but we're going to the outdoor training pitch next to Nottingham Pavilion." He heard the groans of several players, then he drove home the dagger. "Right now! Chop chop!" he added, punctuating those words with hand claps and a wild-eyed expression that told his team to get outside without changing into long-sleeved shirts or making accommodations for the cold weather outside.

"We're starting all over!" Rush said, ignoring the frantic tug on his shirt by the team's trainer as Rush cradled his coach's whistle in his right hand. After a third tug, Rush looked at his trainer.

"Did you see the weather forecast? They're calling for 20-below!"

Rush checked the weather app on his phone as he walked out ahead of the team, so he saw it was 20 degrees below zero Celcius, not Fahrenheit, as Sarzonia adopted the metric system years ago, but Rush had decided from break only to have the team do a brief drill for about 15 minutes before heading back indoors. All that changed just after he blew the whistle to start training and a gust of wind blew in fiercely as if on cue.

He watched the players try running the same drill that they'd been too lackadaisical on indoors in the climate controlled, 20 degrees Celcius environment indoors, but even with a hat on his head, Rush knew if he was miserable, the players would be as well. He blew his whistle three more times after just two minutes.

"All right, bring it in!" he said. The players all sprinted into the facility with Rush and the team's trainer not far behind.

They would travel to Friedgen Stadium on the campus of Woodstock University for their World Cup 98 qualifying opener against Doubeia. That stadium was an open air stadium, sure, but the home bench would be heated and there was also a warming system under the grass at the stadium that would theoretically make it more difficult for ice to adversely affect the footing on the pitch.

As long as we don't have to go to Mike Sarzo Stadium or the Iron Bowl, Rush thought. It was possible that pretty much any of the matches could be moved there, although the contest against world No. 1 Valanora was set for Dave Wilson Stadium. The elves would have to get used to frigid temps like everyone else, unless, of course, Health and Athletics declared all the matches save for the Valanora contest would be moved to Portland. There was a new stadium that was being built in suburban Saugerties named Nicole Lewis Stadium that would seat just north of 100,000 spectators that would have a retractable roof and natural grass, but it wasn't ready yet for the World Cup qualifying opener. It could, however, be ready for the Valanora match if contractors worked double-shifts.

As it stood, unless temps were too cold, the outdoor venues would see the matches scheduled for them.

Rush hoped his charges would be ready for the cold. He hoped his managerial staff would be. He hoped he would be.

[Delaclava]

The Holy Empire, Zwangzug lead obstacles to Delaclav WC qualification

Delaclava's second crack at qualifying for an expanded 48-team World Cup will, unsurprisingly, still have its fair share of challenges.

The Phoenixes are one of 144 teams vying for 45 spots to join the already qualified hosts of Tikariot, The Kytler Peninsulae, and Qusmo. The top two teams in each eight-team group will qualify, with the third-placed teams set to contest playoffs for the final spots.

76th-ranked Delaclava will vie for those three positions against The Holy Empire (ranked 14th), Zwangzug (27th), Gnejs (47th), Britonisea (101st), Osterhalten (169th), Quakmybush (188th), and Gopnikea (unranked). The Holy Empire, Zwangzug, and Gnejs are all looking to return to the World Cup after uninspiring performances in Pasarga and Eastfield Lodge; Zwangzug and Gnejs finished third in their respective groups and were excluded from the Round of 32, while The Holy Empire were ousted in that round by Sargossa.

The Phoenixes will be looking to improve on a WC97 qualifying campaign in which they lost their final seven games to tumble from 4-2-3 and World Cup contention to 4-2-10 and mediocrity. A revamped squad that was roundly criticized for apparent corruption and loyalism emphatically shut down those concerns by reaching the quarterfinals of the Independents Cup in Britonisea. The highlights of the campaign included a dramatic group-stage victory over eventual champion, and defending Cup of Harmony winner, HUElavia, and a come-from-behind Round of 16 victory against Crpostran, another squad that reached the most recent World Cup. The group has since gone untested, again leading to bubbling concerns about the squad's potential - although they were similarly untested before breaking out in Britonisea.

The squad is led by dynamic striker Jeremy Vonn of Catherina FC, who tallied six goals in the IAC campaign, including the game winners against HUElavia and Crpostran. The Amundsen twins, midfielder Tyler and striker Theo, also will figure prominently into the Delaclav attack, while the performances of goalkeeper David Tkachuk and right back Marcelo Nunez were particular bright spots in the Phoenixes' games thus far.

Delaclava will open its qualification campaign on the road against Quakmybush. Its first home game will be the following round, a key qualification matchup against Gnejs. That fixture will be played at Pioneer Field in Corcorran.

---

Coming soon...

MADE FROM NOTHING
A tale of music, friendship, love, and growing up, as told through music

The "Made From Nothing" series will follow the students at Miranda School of Music, a prestigious music school housed at Clermont University. Clermont is set off in Adelaide, a quiet suburb of Mariana, and offering a more insular education and culture than the larger, more cosmopolitan Mariana University.

The series will focus on Alex Hall, an 18-year-old incoming music composition major, with many talents including the trombone, piano, and as a baritone vocalist. Focused on other matters throughout high school and due to a lack of self-esteem and family support, Alex's decision to even audition for music school was a last-minute one, and as a mostly inexperienced composer, the Miranda faculty took a gamble to select him for the cohort of five freshman composers. The remainder of Alex's cohort includes Esther Rabinowitz, a highly decorated composer with numerous young artist accolades prior to admission; Ryan Daley, a talented although relatively uninventive and sycophant of Esther; Taney Rice, a largely unconcerned loner focused on highly experimental music; and Mateo Monterroenix, a prolific yet unfocused writer with rock star aspirations.

Alex will grapple with his sense of belonging, not only in a highly competitive program, but at a university far away from home; with the usual college antics, including a mess of a roommate and a raucous dorm floor; with music school cliques; and with and surprise puppy love, when Alex makes his way into the Clermont choirs and spots from across the room Nick Castro, a tenor that makes Alex feel a way he hasn't felt - or been allowed to feel - before. Amid these challenges, Alex makes friends with his band seatmates, trombone player Arthur Harris and trumpeter Jonas Kelly, as well as similar self-perceived outcasts, like violist Deena Ramirez and choir alto Gabby Wilkinson.

The "Made From Nothing" story will be (hopefully) told not only through the written word, but from the music Alex and his colleagues and rivals create, giving insight into the musical styles and trends of Delaclava.

[Captina Island]

Rosso e Oro set to kick off WCQ
The Captina Company Press Association

The Captina Company National Team will face World Cup 84 winners Farfadillis in the opening match of World Cup 98 Qualifying as the nation makes a fifth attempt to qualify for the Finals, which will be held in Rushmore.

Manager Jonas Yarborough has revamped the roster, bringing the average age down from 25 to 22.7 while keeping the core of the starting XI intact; all time leading scorer Patience Wedgwood, Giuseppe Overstreet, Charleston DiCanio, Barnabas Morningstar, Marcella Lillywhite, and Edith Ann DiStefano will anchor the Rosso e Oro while the new additions settle in, particularly the defense which will be the least experienced unit.

Captina have shown they can compete against the best sides in the multiverse but have had inconsistent form over the course each of the last two campaigns. Currently their record over 68 WCQ fixtures shows them with just one more defeat than their 27 wins along with 13 draws, which has led to midtable finishes both of the previous two times.

The opposition is as strong as ever as in addition to the Arrosian giant there will be matches against Mytanija, Sajnur and Sangti & the Filindo Isles. Seven home fixtures will take place at TCC Sports Ground in Geneva City on the even numbered match days.

[Audioslavia]

Carrying the One

Parts [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8]
[9][10][11]
[12]

---

A few thousand years ago, Audioslavia had a disastrous fourteen minute experiment with a monarchy. Regardless of how meaningless those fourteen minutes were, the very fact that there was a monarchy at all means two things are true forever. First, there will forever be a lineage of descendants of the usurped monarch. Secondly, it will always occur to at least one person in the world that, hey, maybe there should be a king after all, and while there is a person with a claim to said kinghood, there will always be a Restoration movement, no matter how small or disorganised.

In Audioslavia’s case, there’s also a counter-restoration movement, which aims to brutally murder anyone in Audioslavia should they hold the title of first in line to the throne

---

"Okay Tania, another breath, you're doing so well" said Mildred. Mildred had said the words a thousand times before, maybe more. Not always with the word 'Tania' but, well, quite often. Tania was a posh name, and it had to be said, this was a posh hospital.
"Need a deep breath now, Tania" said Mildred, taking another peek, "And a big push now. Now Tania, come on"
It doesn't matter how posh they are. At this moment, they always swear like sailors. You could put a nun in this position and they'd be effing and blinding like a construction worker who's just somehow had their toe stubbed by an immigrant.
And one push later, Mildred saw the crown. Not 'that' kind of crown. That comes later.
Tania Farrington turned the air blue, and with another almighty push, she gave birth to the rest of the baby. And, it would be remiss to omit, quite a bit of poo as well. Don't look at me like that, it's nature! A woman gives birth to two babies at the same time. A small, smelly, quiet one at one side and a larger, crying one at the other that ends up learning how to read and driving a second hand Mazda and complaining about how young policemen have become. Usually in that order.

"There you go, Tania" said Mildred, holding the newborn baby for a second as an assistant got busy with the whole 'well they can't take this whole placenta with them, how about I get busy with these tiny sheers' business.
"B.. b.. boy or girl?" asked Tania, reaching out her arms.
"A bit early to be making a decision about that" said Mildred, with a wink, wrapping the baby in a white towel, "but from the looks of it it has a bit of a head-start as a.."

Mildred almost dropped the child as, ten feet away, a window was smashed into thousands of tiny fragments by a burst of automatic gunfire. Bullets and glass embedded themselves deep in the bleached green concrete wall to their left. Mildred screamed. Tania almost seemed not to register. Leaning forward with whatever energy she had left, which was less than none, and taking the baby away from Mildred's hands, holding it close at it sang the song all new-born babies sing. You know. The seventeen minute avante-garde jazz acapella number about existence that consists entirely of the letter 'A'.

Four people entered the room.

Three came through the window, leaping, grunting, clad all in black, like dollar-store riot police, weapons slung over shoulders. One landed on his feet and immediately produced two handguns, one in each hand. Even Mildred knew that both safeties were still on, and Mildred was the sort of character who would be introduced into a story with the name Mildred.

The fourth came through the door in a cleaners' uniform. He wasn't dual-weilding anything, unless a bucket and a mop counted as two parts of the same weapon. They aren't, of course, but looking at the man, tall, rugged, quite clearly exceedingly posh despite his apparent profession, you might guess that he could, if pressed use either proficiently as a weapon.

"Everyone get down, this is a robbery" shouted the first of the black clad window men.
"What?" said another, quietly, side-eyeing the first man.
"I mean, just.... everyone get down" said the first man. "Sorry force of habit". Mildred dropped to the floor with a yelp, as did her assistant, who dropped down so quickly she fell into a small hole made for un-named characters and never appeared again.
"You too, janny" said the third man, noting that the janitor hadn't actually dropped to the floor, and was instead advancing towards the trio with his hands in the air.
"I'm afraid my name isn't 'janny'" said the janitor.
"I don't care if your name is Rip Von Fiddlesticks, you get on the ground right now, or I dedecorate that back wall with your cardiovascular system"
The janitor smiled, and nodded towards what had, until recently, been a pregnant woman.

Tania had unravelled the baby from its towel and was holding it in front of the would-be attackers.

"It's a girl" said one of the trio.
"You sure? Maybe she's tucked his oopsiewhatsit between his legs"
"What? Have you even seen a baby's..." started the first one again, but stopped. "Fuck it. Come on lads, let's go"
"You may as well use the door" said the janitor. "It's not like security will do anything, is it? I mean, you're armed to the teeth and you're trying to leave having not killed anyone. Just broken an old window. Which, I do assume, you will pay for..."
"I'm not paying for shit" said the dual-wielding man.
"If you'd like to give me your names, I can send you the bill" said the janitor
"I'm not giving you shit" said dual-wielding man.

Tania Farrington wasn't entirely sure what happened next. She was sure she had never seen a janitor move so fast, so gracefully, so fiercely, yet so quietly. One moment, there were three men in black, the next, there were none. The only explanation was the one given to her by the janitor. She wasn't sure she understood that, either, but it had apparently involved aikido, a mop, and a conveniently placed hole made for un-named characters.

[Darmen]

All Greens Face Tough Weekend To Open Qualification

SCOTT CITY - Riley Mac Pharlain's All Greens may be riding high after their fourth place finish in the 47th edition of the Copa Rushmori, but a tough pair of matches scheduled on the opening weekend of World Cup Qualifying could easily humble the Darmeni national team. Or, who knows? Perhaps a pair of good results to kickoff the campaign might increase the All Greens confidence even more.

The first test the Darmenis will face is an away match against Kimi-Suomi, where the All Greens expect an ice cold welcome from the Eagle-Owls. Darmen has never previously faced the fifth pot side, ranked 91st in the multiverse, but Mac Pharlain will be hoping for three points on the road against a defensive minded team.

"With them playing five backs, we expect to be challenged moving the ball down the pitch, especially on the wings. We'll have to take advantage when we can, I expect set pieces will be important," commented Mac Pharlain.

The second test of the weekend will be against Tumbra, with the matchup against the number two ranked side in the multiverse sending shivers down every Darmeni fan's spine. Darmen has faced the Black Eagles before, with the teams having been paired most recently in the World Cup 96 Qualifying campaign. Darmen did not come out of those two matches looking very good, with whatever pride the Darmenis might have taken from a 1-0 loss at home to the Tumbrans being obliterated by an embarrasing 5-1 loss in Cuono.

Mac Pharlain, while trying to remain upbeat and confident in his team's ability, recognizes the challenge facing Darmen. "Tumbra is a very challenging opponent. The one thing we'll have going for us in the upcoming match is a full 95,000 stadium filled with All Green supporters, cheering us on. If we keep the momentum from our good Copa performance going and combine that with an excellent 12th man effect, we have a good chance to spring an upset and start our qualifying campaign off with a hot start."

[Banija]

Banija, after a failure at ARC 3, are back at World Cup Qualifying 'with a point to prove'


Banijan fans look on at ARC 3 as Milchama celebrates yet another goal in their romping victory over Banija, that eliminated them from the regional tournament

JINJA CITY, HANGAZA- It's that time of year, the beginning of World Cup Qualifying. In many senses of the word, it is a fresh start for this Banijan national team- the last time we saw them, bad things were happening. Let's take a ride back to ARC 3? Coming off of a very successful World Cup cycle, after a pair of brutal ones. Got Banija back to the World Cup Finals after a one cycle hiatus(goodbye World Cup 96), and not only got there, but made a run. The goal was to simply get to the knockout stages- but the Banijans found themselves standing amongst the last 8. The World Cup was a beautiful one- the first World Cup for Banija without legitimate title contending expectations since... World Cup 83? Or World Cup 84? So who knew what would happen. But the team stepped up to the challenge. A draw against the group's top ranked team, Saint Eleanor, to kick off the cycle. Then, a swashbuckling, thrilling, 4-3 win over Mytanija to earn a crucial 3 points. Then, a big rubber match against the co-hosts, Eastfield Lodge, on the Final day- and we delivered them a 6-2 beatdown, on their own home field, to reach the knockout stages with 7 points, as group winners.

Why not continue success there? A 2-2 draw with Baker Park after 90, and no goals coming in the extra 30 minutes of play, yielded a penalty shootout in the first ever Round of 32 match- a shootout that we won, 3-0, to advance to the Round of 16. And in the last 16, we were once again level at 2 goals a piece after 90 minutes, against The Kytler Peninsulae. But an extra time dagger from Otem Ssema, a header from a tall CB off the bench, put the future WC98 co-hosts, KYP, out of the tournament, and Banija into the Quarterfinal. But the third time going to extra time, our luck ran out- an exhausted Banijan team fell to a deserving Tumbra side in penalties, as Opio Ssambwa's final penalty was saved by the Tumbran keeper. Despite the heartbreak, it was a great return to the pinnacle- Banija showing the late stages of the World Cup that we hadn't left, only had taken a small break away.

And so, the opportunity was there to build upon that at ARC 3. An emotionally charged game against a major rival, Equestria, to kick things off in the Squornshelan Confederacy- and a 4-1 dominating victory made Banija look like an early favorite in that tournament. But then, suddenly, the wheels came off. Just 1 goal across the final 3 games, with 6 conceded. Most importantly- all three losses. Oontaz stunned Banija on MD2, earning their first ever victory over the Kadongo Kamu in six tries, and then in their next game, the defending ARC champions, Milchama, pumped Banija straight out of the tournament. And to add insult to injury, Siovanija & Teusland beat Banija, 1-0, in a match that did not matter much for us. It was a stunning result. People thought that this Banijan team would have a chance to go up against the giants of Arrosia, against the Squornshelous', the Valanoras, the Farfadillis of the world- and instead, we finished in the bottom half of our own group.

Something that we had not done in forever. Our first ever Regional tournament, the Fourth Coupe D'Esquarium- Banija finished 3rd out of 5, needing second place to move on. From there, we went to United Valhaven- where we hosted, and finished third, at the only UV Regional Football Championships. Then, off to the AOCAFs- 16 entries into that famed tournament, three trophies- and more importantly, never once did the Banijans get knocked out in group play. And going to the ARCs, as well- getting to the KOs of ARC 1 and ARC 2. But ARC 3... Too much to ask. 19 consecutive regional tournaments, we made the knockout stages- so much so that the Banijans had treated it like a birthright. But there are no birthrights in sport- we were unceremoniously dumped, completely getting outplayed and outcoached three games in a row.

"Look, this elimination- it hurts. We feel it, right in here." Wangolo told reporters, pointing at his own heart. "We're gonna fix things." Most regard it as a fluke, although there's a harsh minority that blame the coaches. And so that leads us to World Cup Qualifying. The mood is rough, but of course, the tournament was a year ago- enough time to get the taste out of your mouth. "It's a new day, a new tournament- we have taken the necessary lessons, and now are moving on." He told reporters. "It's World Cup Qualifying, we are in Pot 1- what more could we want?" And this is true indeed. Banija is back in Pot 1, headlining an interesting group 7. "A lot of quality up and coming nations in this group." Wangolo said. "Edsmontik were in the last World Cup, Sargossa are a traditional big nation, and Auprussia has a ton of quality as well. I expect a legitimate battle to get out of the group."

The fact of the matter is, Pot 1 brings expectations. The beauty of World Cup expansion is that more nations arrive. But if you don't? That's even more pain than before. The goal for this team has to be to win this group- it is winnable, despite there being quite a few tough opponents. And if they want to do that, they'll want to get off to a fast start- which they'll have an opportunity to do, in their opening match, against a scrappy Pyazhnaya here at BCEL Park.

---

Stadium of the Restoration closes for significant renovations, stadium expansion- will not be used during World Cup 98 Qualifying
RBSA Leaders say that the renovation is 'absolutely necessary' on an aging stadium, confirm that the national stadium will not be used during World Cup 98 Qualifying

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Banija's national stadium has always been the Stadium of the Restoration. The national stadium in both gridiron and soccer, it is a sports stadium, in a sports-mad country, built on top of a historic site. Where the stadium sits now is where the 'Banijan Restoration' was declared and made official- when, in 1835, Banijan independence was declared from Quebec, for the first time, and the Banijan Monarch was restored to the throne, in a fully sovereign manner. Long seating just shy of 70,000, the Banijans knew that they needed to enlargen it. So, when they bid with FFR to co-host World Cup 81, they partnered with Teus architectural firm AEP to tear down the old stadium, and build the new stadium in the exact same spot. That was built before World Cup 81, and it was a tremendous build- the stadium was built to be state of the art, and it remains so.

But of course, that was a while ago now. World Cup 81, it is World Cup 98- nearly 3.5 decades have gone by? The stadium is not falling apart, by any means- but it is no longer brand new. The RBSA wants to invest in their crown jewel, and renovate it to keep the stadium one step ahead of its peers. This is a stadium that continues to draw the biggest matchups- it just hosted the IFCF Champions League Final, for the second time, as well as hosting the Cup of Harmony FInal, just last cycle. But the new RBSA Executive Chairman, Isaza Lugave, has said that this was a priority of his. The RBSA 'had an obligation' to keep this stadium at the forefront, at the cutting edge, and they did just that. Now, of course, it wasn't necessarily the easiest thing to do- the RBSA can't just do that on its own. But getting buy-in (and funds) from the Olympic Committee of Banija, as well as commitments from both GFLB(Banija's gridiron league) and S-FPL(Banija's top soccer league) owners to help provide cash, they put bids out. And who won the bid to renovate the stadium? The original builders of the stadium- AEP.

The biggest feature of the partnership is stadium expansion. The stadium will be expanded from 91,835 to 101,835- making it just the second 100,000+ seat stadium in the country, behind the Istria Lightning Yard. Besides the big-time expansion, they plan to do things like update technology, better protect the natural grass surface, and replace the gridiron turf, that sits underneath the grass soccer pitch, with grass for gridiron- so that both surfaces use natural grass. There are also, of course, other projects that need to be done throughout the stadium that will be done as well. The downside of this renovation? It has to close while it is going on, which means it will not be used during World Cup Qualifying. This is the first ever World Cup Qualifying campaign where they will not play at least one match in the national stadium. A sad day for fans, yes, but necessary.

"We recognize the special connection that fans have, with this team, with their stadium." Said the Executive Chairman, Isaza Lugave. "It is a shame that we cannot use it- but long-term, it is in everybody's best interest that these renovations take place, and take place now." Besides not being used for the World Cup Qualifying campaign, it will also not be used during domestic league play- which means that the RBSA will need to find another stadium where they will play their Cup Final.

[Omerica]

.

[West Barack and East Obama]

BBC OFFICIAL REPORT: Global Uproar as "Miracle Lozhoan Team" is Revealed to be West Barack and East Obama's Team in Scooby-Doo Disguises

By Football Correspondent Gary Obamaniker

Jakartington WB, West Barack - Millions of Obamen, Lozhoans, Esportivans and sports enthusiasts woke up this morning to the stunning revelation that the Lozhoan team that had won the 39th Campionato Esportiva in Limey George was, in fact, the West Barack and East Obama National Football Team meticulously disguised as the Lozhoan players. The accusation was first made by notable traitor and sports-obsessed maniac Jake Obamaheimer (known by his terrorist alias Jake Oppenheimee) on his illegal radio show Radio Free Obama, but was surprisingly confirmed by national team head coach Buck Obamafinakis in a press conference this morning.

"Yeah, that's what we did. Pretty impressive, eh?" smirked Obamafinakis. "I mean, just take a look at these masks. They're really amazing, with a super soft texture, yeah, and they even get all the wrinkles right. They were designed by the President's Secret Service themselves, so you just know they're top quality. Wait, just zoom in on my face. Yeah, you, the sucker holding the TV camera. Zoom right in. Can you tell if I'm wearing a mask or not? For all you know, I could be some intern, and the real Buck is sipping coffee in the hotel room. Okay, but, for real though. TAKE A GODDAMN LOOK!"

Following Obamafinakis' press conference, which ended with him being escorted out of the building by security after no one was actually able to tell if he had a hyper-realistic mask on, the West Barack and East Obama Football Association released a statement double confirming the rumours. It was mentioned that the "ongoing collapse of the Lozhoan football system and closure of their football league" due to financial issues had caused the Lozho Football Association to declare bankruptcy. With no authority in place to field a football team, the Lozhoan monarch Queen Hayley II made a special request to Almighty President and Glorious Leader and Eternal Presider Barack Obama himself to supply footballers so that "the Pelicans would not be embarrassed on a regional stage." President Obama accepted this request and did everything he could (which is, by the way, everything anyone can do, as President Obama can do anything) to sneak the legendary West Barack and East Obama team into Limey George to compete for the title.

As mentioned enthusiastically by Head Coach Obamafinakis in his press conference, coaches and players were fitted with state-of-the-art disguises and masks to enable their entry into Limey George's stadia. The players were also forced to adapt to a style with more attacking flair to avoid arousing suspicion, with many making their first-ever professional forward pass in the tournament. However, the Obamen excelled against their opposition, who were likely unprepared to face a Lozhoan team supposedly in crisis that was really a top twenty team in disguise. A comfortable victory against Riena didn't raise any eyebrows at first, but a 7-2 demolition of the hosts began to raise hopes of a Lozhoan dark horse run in the country, with the poverty-stricken Lozhoans uniting in the face of destitution to get behind their surging team. Of course, a disguised Buck Obamafinakis was under orders to not ring alarm bells too hard, so they tanked a game to Katzeburg 4-1 to set up a knockout match against Slembana, where most were expecting this Cinderella run to end.

That is, until Lozho stunned Slembana with a 1-0 victory courtesy of a cracking free kick by Lily Chobamya, who had to shave her long hair to fit into the mask of a bald footballer (the West Barack and East Obama FA later apologised for this oversight). Lozho then went on to seal a solid victory against fellow underdogs Gouvanarch, before going on to shock the footballing world when they dumped Eshialand, a team in the top thirty in the World Cup rankings, out in the semi-finals. Suddenly, the "Pelicans" found themselves in the final of a competition no one, not even the President, expected them to reach. With silverware on the horizon for "Lozho," and it being too late to turn back, Queen Hayley II and President Obama gave their blessings to the Obamafinakis coaching team to do whatever it took to bring home the Campionato Esportiva.

The big day arrived at Lime Grove Lane against Fhulgamous Peninsula, who were also seeking their first-ever Campionato Esportiva title and had put up a very impressive campaign so far. Of course, by now, "Lozho" had gone back to default settings and was about to upset everyone who had anticipated a fiery clash between two first-timers. Every "Lozhoan" sat behind the ball, hoofed it up and sideways, and committed enough fouls to get the local authorities involved. In the end, a stray ball that rolled into the back of the net sealed an anticlimactic game for the "Pelicans," who wildly celebrated their win in an empty stadium where every fan had stormed out. Esportivan social media was also a storm, with numerous salty fans complaining about that "foreign twat" or "random git" that apparently did not deserve to be etched into Esportivan football history for eternity.

Even though much time has passed since the Campionato Esportiva and everyone had turned their sights towards the upcoming World Cup qualifiers, rumours of an illegitimate Lozhoan win had been reignited after many took notice of Lozho's omission from the World Cup signups and trading card prints. In particular, the conspiracy theorist nincompoop Jake Obamaheimer illegally purchased PDFs of scanned confidential documents in Limey George, which allegedly showed that Lozhoan officials had failed to submit proper roster documentation, filed legal challenges against drug tests, and threatened to call President Obama on the Limey George officials who resisted. These bold accusations led to the theory that the West Barack and East Obama National Football Team had actually stood in for the Lozhoans in the Campionato Esportiva, and soon Esportivan social media was back to kicking up a storm, with many angrily pinging governing bodies to launch a formal investigation or to even strip our deserved title from our hands. In the end, the Obamen decided to come clean, because hey, all of this is pretty impressive; you've gotta admit.

Anyways, the confirmation from Obaman officials blew this situation into even bigger proportions than it already was, with even the most uninvolved neutrals and casuals providing their uninformed opinions on the situation. Most were furious and demanded a lifetime ban for the football teams of both Lozho and West Barack and East Obama, whilst the Lozhoans were incensed at being lied to about their "Dream Team" that had kept them sane during their ongoing economic crisis, and most of US Obamen were happy to once again prove that we're one of the best teams to ever play the game.

"Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. I just, I just, I just don't believe it." commented @Unbelieving_Neutral on X. "You can't believe it. Well, I'm not believing it. Because this is just unbelievable. I mean, this is unfathomable. How can you believe this? I mean, of course it's believable to an extent, but I gotta say: wow. This is, well, unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. But you better believe it. Believe that this is unbelievable. Because I'm telling you: you'll never not believe in something as unbelievable as this ever again."

"We've won a Seven Nations Cup and a Campionato Esportiva. Hey, maybe we'll be able to win every major region's cup!" chortled Back Raback, a fruit vendor in New Barack City during a street interview. "You know what? Let's do it. We can make history. Any struggling minnows out there: give us a call, and we'll give you a title. Well, not us, the team. I'm just a humble fruit vendor. Anyways, want a strawberry?"

"It's a disgrace! It's a bloody disgrace, and I'm fed up! Lock 'em all up!" huffed Gerzude Zamzam, an elderly Lozhoan retiree from Ghezhan. "Um, what do you mean we could be stripped of this title? I mean, I don't know about all that. That's a bit harsh, yeah? Look, it's not that big of a deal, dear."

Following this extraordinary news, all eyes will likely be on the Obamen, with many trying to see if their Campionato Esportiva heroics can be replicated and perhaps give the Obamen their first-ever World Cup title. But for now, read all about it on the BBC.

[Bir Matras]

Bir Matars sport news

The last fight for Al-Koleq and Arendse
In a press conference earlier this morning, Goalkeeper Hassan Al-Koleq(36) and offensive midfielder Zinedine Arendse(37) both announced that they would be retiring from International football after this World cup. The announcement didn't come out kd nowhere as both players had been hinting at retirment for some time already. Still it was a sad Moment for the Fans, after both players had been an integral part of the Team for the past decade. Especially captain Al-Koleq will be missed as he lead the Team through a wondrful time. National Trainer Katrina Nastrova put out a Statement saying that she was sad to know that the players will go, but promised to make their last few matches with the Team the best Bir Matras has ever played.

---

Location: Bir Matras national training facilities
Katrina was standing on the side of the training court observing the players in one if their final Trainings before the world cup. "Come on Abdel, you can be faster than that" she shouted over to Abdel. After the Training, Katrin got the Team together to hold a small speech: "Listen I know you're all exited for this. And so am I. It's the fucking World cup after all, who wouldn't be exited. But don't let that affect your performance in a bad way. Embrace it and use it. Use it to play better than you have ever played. You are not just playing in a tournament, you are writing history for the nation. Do your best so we can write a good one." With that she dismissed them. While the players were leaving, she remained at the Training grounds lost in her thoughts. She didn't Show it, but she was nervous. She would be the first Trainer ever to represent Bir Matras at the world cup. She would also create history. And this thought scared her. She feared that she would go down as a horrible Trainer in the books if they performed poorly. Katrin quickly shook her head trying to get rid of These thoughts, before going back inside to prepare everything for the upcoming games

---

schedule for Bir Matras
Bir Matras vs Hispina(03.01)
Chromatika vs Bir Matras(04.01)
Bir Matras vs Kronbia(05.01)
Bir Matras vs Kimi-Suomi(06.01)
Tumbra vs Bir Matras(07.01)
Bir Matras vs MIP(08.01)
Darmen vs Bir Matras(09.01)
Hispina vs Bir Matras(10.01)
Bir Matras vs Chromatika(11.01
Kronbia vs Bir Matras(12.01)
Kimi-Suomi vs Bir Matras(13.01)
Bir Matras vs Tumbra(14.01)
MIP vs Bir Matras(15.01)
Bir Matras vs Darmen(16.01)

[Recuecn]

"Frankly, coach, you've done more than anyone else alive for this team, and it's ridiculous that the FNRF is getting rid of you." Franky Adams, Reçueçn's star striker, was unafraid to speak his mind.

Heissler, the coach in question, shrugged. He was too mild-mannered and conscious of appearances to openly critique the his own governing organization, but even from an unbiased perspective, it was hard to understand why the FNRF was refusing to take the obvious decision and simply officially confirm their current interim manager in his role. Instead, they were searching far and wide for a suitable replacement for the previous head manager, and the search was not going well.

To the players, this was baffling. Why waste time with a wild goose chase when Heissler was right there--the most supportive coach the players had ever had? When Relié had been assistant manager, and Heissler worked beneath him, there had already been a sense of good cop, bad cop--Relié always pushing the players while Heissler took care of them and made sure they weren't burnt out. Then, Relié had become interim manager and then finally head manager, and Heissler had moved up to the assistant manager position--and the dynamic had persisted. Perhaps there were times when Relié's demanding style had proven necessary, but the players far and away preferred Heissler. Now, with Relié gone, the team got along better than it had before at any point during its history. It gelled. For the first time ever, the team experienced total harmony.

Except of course, for the FNRF's meddling. The governing body dangled the imminent managerial replacement over the team like the sword of Damocles. While internally, the team was enjoying its smoothest moments of cooperation, it faced unprecedented external pressures.

Right now, practicing at the ÉNRF complex next to the Stade National, the players were moving in sync. World Cup qualifying was about to begin, and the team needed to be running smoothly like a well-oiled machine. The training was looking good, but at the moment there was a pause between drills, and the players were taking the opportunity to gossip about the head coach situation--as they did almost every time they had a chance to talk among themselves. As more of them started to chime in, echoing Franky's sentiments, Heissler cut them off.

"Okay, okay," he said, waving his hands, "I'm glad you all like having me as your coach. But we need to focus on practice. Our first qualifying match is just a few days away. Let's keep this moving. This next exercise focuses on passing. We're good at using our defense as a fallback, but we can't be so reliant on them. I want us to use the mid-field more. Lapix helped me design this drill..."

The players trotted over to their assigned positions to continue their practice. Internally, Heissler breathed a sigh of relief. The constant wondering about what the FNRF's next move might be was wearing on him, and he was grateful that he could keep himself busy with preparations for qualifying. It took everything he had, but so far, despite the circumstances setting him up for failure, he was keeping the team on the rails.

Meanwhile, at FNRF headquarters, a few blocks away, the exact opposite was true. There was no pressure on the federation, no external factors pushing it toward failure. Yet despite the context setting the federation up for success, its internal division and dysfunction was tearing it apart. One simple choice had hung over the FNRF for two years now, and the federation had done nothing but kick the can down the road, prevaricate, and procrastinate. The members of the executive board simply couldn't agree on anything. Their different approaches and backgrounds made it nigh impossible for them to work together, for they were frankly a ridiculous cast of characters--

A cast of characters to whom we will be introduced in the next installment.

[Mytanija]

OOC note: The Gazeta Sporta article in this RP is temporally situated between the hitherto unposted 43-44 and 44-45 1. Prvenstvo seasons and it is, therefore, in the past. Atletik won the IFCF Champions League at the conclusion of the 43-44 season, however due to RL commitments I have been unable to RP this as yet. I do plan on doing so. Due to these RL commitments I also did not submit a league season / entry for IFCF competition last cycle and this arc is intended to explain that absence and tie up some loose ends in an acceptable IC fashion.

FSM: ATLETIK TO PLAY IFCF MATCHES IN KYTLER PENINSULAE
SPATE OF POLITICAL VIOLENCE CAUSES GOVERNING BODY TO HOLD MATCHES
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS & BLOCK IFCF ENTRY FOR OTHER CLUBS

by Nevenka Planinc

The FSM have decreed that Atletik Težia will be the only Mytanar team to play in IFCF competition in the 44-45 season following a spate of political violence impacting pre-season football matches and other public and sporting events ahead of the upcoming Mytanar general election. Atletik are the reigning IFCF Champions League winners and despite the FSM originally stating that no Mytanar teams would be entered to IFCF competition for the upcoming season because of the attacks, the Thessian club made a case to the governing body for their admission – confirming that they would be happy to play their matches overseas to at least give themselves a chance of defending the trophy.

Today the FSM announced confirmation that Atletik have been given the green light for this plan and will play their 44-45 IFCF Champions League matches at Roddens Stadium in the Kytler Peninsulae. The decision is expected to be met with consternation from other clubs that finished in IFCF qualifying positions who will argue that a similar arrangement could have been made for them, however the governing body have conducted talks with the government and Minister of the Interior Đuro Periša and it is believed that they recommended that domestic games be played behind closed doors and as few IFCF matches as possible be played until the capabilities of the terrorist group claiming responsibility for the attacks, ZPOV, are assessed more fully, lest they attempt to launch an attack overseas.

The other IFCF qualifying clubs are already believed to have had talks on potentially bringing a civil case against the FSM for loss of income from the matches which they will now be unable to play. They may feel bolstered – which may be unwanted in some cases – by opposition leader Krsto Gojkovic and his MNK party proclaiming that the government are playing politics with the attacks and trying to use them to scaremonger in the run-up to the upcoming general election. Gojkovic distanced himself and his party from the terrorist group, despite their stated support for his political agenda, and condemned the use of force whilst arguing that Premijer Rogina was failing to listen to demands for ‘ponovna decentralizacija’ (‘re-decentralisation’), or a push to give more power over to Mytanija’s various regions. This idea can stoke fears about a return to Kalinina-era ethnic tensions, something which ZPOV are not shy about wanting to emulate.

ZPOV, a Zrnskian Orthodox and ethnonationalist aligned paramilitary organisation, released a public letter following a fortnight of attacks claiming that Premijer Željka Rogina’s Jedinstvo and Lejla Preradović’s PsD were subverting the will of ethnic majorities in Zrnska, Magevskaya, Nasto and Avnalia by forming the Popularni Front against Gojkovic’s MNK. Their letter also threatened to continue the violence if the Popularni Front refused to agree to votes on secession for the prior-listed regions, as well as ‘majority-Zrsnkian’ areas of Vojovitica – i.e., border areas and the city of Miago. Their attacks – centred on three pre-season football friendly matches; two political rallies; a music concert; and a large athletics meeting – all came in cities and regions which supported the Otpor cause against Kalinina’s Zrsnkian nationalist regime during the Mytanar Conflict and in their statement ZPOV claimed they have the ability to maintain the same rate of attacks, seven over two weeks, for the foreseeable future.

Alen Valjarević’s excellent Oslobođenje article ‘A Tale of Two Mytanijas’ explains the background of the latest rise in tensions ahead of the upcoming general election, but these bomb attacks, including on Atletik’s Novi Atletskistadion; 1896 Ebor’s Olujastadion; and Ararat’s Korecky Road ahead of pre-season matches bring all of the context into real focus for many in Mytanija. This focus strikes fear into the hearts of many, a fear about a return to the dark days of the Mytanar Conflict and the interethnic violence which marked the Kalinina-era. It appears that the FSM are entirely unprepared to allow their matches to be a target for ZPOV to aim at. There is perhaps a fear of bringing this political violence overseas which has led the FSM to block the entry of Mytanar sides (outwith Atletik) to IFCF competition, particularly given the large numbers of Mytanars of all ethnicities overseas due to fleeing the Conflict and decades of emigration from the motherland.

The government have made a few statements amidst the attacks, with both Premijer Željka Rogina and Minister of the Interior Đuro Periša trying to reassure the public that the Policija, OZNA (civil / state security and intelligence); and VOiKO (military intelligence / counterintelligence) are all working to try to identify individuals involved, potential future targets and to breakdown and tap the group’s lines of communications to guard against future attacks. Rogina also announced that an inquiry would be held to understand how the security services failed to identify the attacks in advance. Periša has publicly said that ZPOV are a sophisticated paramilitary group, clearly possessing experienced operatives with capabilities across a number of areas.

Both Rogina and Periša have asked the public for calm in Thessia, Visoravna and Raknija and in a direct plea to any remnants of the almost folkloric Otpor paramilitary which resisted Kalinina’s violence have asked for no reprisals for the attacks which have resulted in hundreds of casualties – numbers which are still being reckoned with by civil bodies as they look to give an accurate view of the devastation caused by ZPOV. Heightened security at public buildings around the country has been put into action, with a military presence visible in major cities across Thessia, Visoravna and Raknija.

The sporting world will await further insight from the government, but it looks like the FSM have made a decision quickly in an attempt to minimise the likelihood of any future attacks on stadiums around the country. The economic impact is something the governing body will have to support clubs with and there may well be on-field ramifications, with players perhaps looking to break their contracts rather than stay in Mytanija amidst a climate of potential violence and ethnic tension – and indeed actual violence ahead of and during these pre-season matches. Clubs may look to take the legal route for any financial losses they may experience as a result of the FSM’s quick decision making.

[Juvencus]

The Second Great War of Unification(1876-1892)

Yanis Benani was a Juven-Qurijan doctor from the Sud, born in Mezzane in 1848 to a large family that he would describe as "dirt poor, yet always with food on the table". Benani's family was a family of red dye makers that moved in caravans all across the Crescent and did not really settle in one spot until after the Great Attempt of 1865 on which his family would have to hide in Pumuni in Santo Domenico to escape the genocide of his people. While listening about the genocide and stumbling across the images in one of the newspapers of the region, he saw images that convinced him to become a doctor and to tend to those who are vulnerable. Showing great fervor towards his studies and eventually his profession, Benani became renown all over Juvencus as someone who can treat wounds using the world's most modern strategies in a way that benefit the patient the most. During the war he also became infamous for tending to soldiers' wounds from either side of the conflict, thus earning the respect of an entire nation.


The Doctor's Office, Pumuni

Chapter 29: Doctor Benani Affair(March 24th, 1892)
"I may not be God. But by God's grace I am meant to heal everyone in this land, no matter how they have treated me." ~Yanis Benani

With the war reaching its final stages, the Juven army was moving eastward to Santo Domenico. The setup for a combined siege to liberate Santo Domenico and Vinceti was already done by February, with the usage of the railway lines connecting the eastern side of the country. However, Pumuni, a strategically located village further north in the final reaches of the Crescent mountain range was known as Doctor Benani's residence.

His selfless treatment of soldiers regardless of which side they fought on caught the attention of several Scudelliano officers who placed him on military trial for treason and while the process was under way he was imprisoned within the bounds of his own office in Pumuni. Lieutenant Geronimo Iolettois, the highest ranking of those officers presented Benani with an ultimatum. He would either join forces with the Scudellois only treating their soldiers or face excecution for the highest level of treason. Benani would be a staunch defender of his own personal beliefs and refused to back down despite Iolettois' persistence.

Word of his imprisonment reached the Juven camp and a battalion of 650 men marched towards Pumuni led by Lieutenant-Colonel Emmanuele Verano to negotiate his freedom. The Juven battalion outnumbering the Scudelliano force by 2 to 1 and being better-equipped had the upper hand in the negotiations. Verano's assertiveness did not meet fruitful ground in the initial negotiation with Iolettois with the latter stating that Doctor Benani's freedom was dependent on his choice, which infuriated Verano.

Verano's next course of action was to impose an ultimatum of his own which stated that the Scudelliano side would have to free Doctor Benani or face the consequences of such an atrocious action. In this case this would mean execution by hanging. Fearless as he was, Iolettois would not back down and a sudden, bloody and messy battle ensued in the streets of the village. This would conclude with the massacre of the majority of the Scudelliano soldiers, Iolettois' capture and subsequent hanging and the deportation of the Scudelliano soldiers into prison camps. Lastly and most importantly, Doctor Benani was free, as was the town of Pumuni itself, giving an important vantage point for the Juven for entry into the mainland of Scudelli.

Battle Outcome: Doctor Benani and Pumuni freed. Resounding Juven victory!

The Juven State: 650 troops, 105 casualties
Independentists: 325 troops, 250 casualties, 74 POWS, Iolettois executed

[Cobrio]

OOC: Continued from a previous series of RPs

Odikolo, Cobrio
Many years ago

“Uncle Amari,” Odell asked. “Which animal is the best?”

Amari laughed. Only a child could ask something so innocently foolish. Odell was no ordinary child, though.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“Nothing, little panther.” Amari said. “I only laugh because you before sabi answer.”

“If I knew the answer, why would I ask?”

“Ah, you sabi this also.” Amari tapped his nephew’s temple gently as he said it. The boy went quiet for a moment, before frowning.

“Can you tell me anyway?” He asked. “I like it when you tell me stories.”

Of course. Amari knew the effect he had on his nephew. He was preparing him, in fact. This boy would inherit the Gift, if Amari had his way. It was difficult, given his mother’s desire for him to study in Osarius – like so many other young Cobre people these days; as if Cobrio didn’t have the capacity to teach; ugwu mentality had poisoned his people – and his father’s... well, his father’s apparent aversion to his heritage. Amari was certain that Odell’s father was of Cobre descent too, and simply refused to acknowledge it... but that was a discussion for another time.

“No just story I tell you, Odell. No forget this, na.” He told the boy. “But okay. Let me tell you the story of the azure and silver dragons of Banpo, then.” Amari said. “I have not told you this one before, and I think perhaps you should know it, na.”

“Dragons?! They were real?!” If Odell wasn’t interested already, he was now.

“Wetin kiwani Uncle Amari tell you before, na?” Amari said with more than a hint of annoyance.

“Coooooool,” the boy said. Really making sure to drag out the word for emphasis.

“Before the time wetin dey have ugwu King and Queen in Cobrio land,” Amari started. “People dey in big families. Houses, they call it.”

“We live in houses now, wha-”

“No same meaning.” Amari cut him off. “No talk. Listen.” Odell fell silent with a nod.

“As I was telling you, na. Big families. Houses. Maybe today we dey call them clans? But in these times, houses. Because in one big house all dey live.” Amari paused. “You ken?”

Odell nodded.

“Okay, so one of these houses. People dey call it Argento. Your school teacher will tell you about this people soon. But Uncle Amari thinks you dey ready to know today. Remember, Odell. Knowledge dey-”

“Become power.” Odell finished.

“Good. Now, Argento. They were a powerful house, because many years before, the Opapa had found an egg made of stone. When he took the egg to the nguso, he was told it contained one of the grandsons of Ologun.”

“Grandsons?”

“Grandson I call he, na? You know the story of how Ologun created onina, abi?”

“No,” Odell said slowly, as if wary of a trap.

“Ahhhh,” Amari said. “This one you dey must ken before sabi.” He shifted his dundun and rapped out a quick rhythm. Odell tucked his legs under himself and leaned forward, eyes wide with interest.

“Olugun, the Great Father, one day have a problem, na.” Amari started. “His two sons, Oku and Nkume, were fighting.”

Amari struck the dundun again, this time sending out a rippling boom, not unlike thunder. Odell paused, certain he could see this battle between demigods, even though it clearly wasn’t happening right now. So lost in his mental image was he, he didn’t realise Amari had stopped talking. His uncle was, in fact, watching him with a slight smirk on his face.

“Little Panther,” he said softly, “you don’t ask why?”

Odell gasped. He knew the answer already, even though Amari had not yet told him. He could see the answer, as if she was created from the sound of the oja. When had Amari started playing that?

“It was a girl,” he said. “A beautiful girl.”

Amari nodded silently. The high notes of the oja became more frantic. “Àmụmà,” Amari said. “That was her name.”

“She lived in the clouds,” Odell said.

“Just so.”

The boy looked up at the sky. Though nobody else could see it, to Odell, the clouds parted to reveal a face, smiling at him. He had never seen something so beautiful.

“Olugun, who no have limit to he wisdom, was saddened by their fight.” Amari said. “So he dey place on a mountain, away from everyone, to speak.” The dundun boomed. Odell heard the voice of Olugun.

ᴍʏ sᴏɴs. ᴄᴇᴀsᴇ ᴛʜɪs ǫᴜᴀʀʀᴇʟ. ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ.

Though the sky had cleared earlier, Odell felt everything darken. He felt storm winds and saw two men atop a mountain.

ᴍʏ sᴏɴs ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ. ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪᴛ ɪᴛ.

Rain fell, soaking Odell to the bone instantly. He yelled in shock from the biting cold and everything stopped. The rain disappeared, the sky cleared again, and he was no longer wet.

“Little Panther,” Amari said. “Too many okun?”

Odell shivered once. “What happened, Uncle Amari?”

“What you dey see, Little Panther?”

Odell paused. “Everything.”

“Good.” Amari smiled. “You see.”

[Riena]

The Riena Sentinel

---

World Cup 98: Second time lucky for Riena?
Wavelets embark on second qualification campaign under Cocoa Haneda

---

It's that time in the cycle again — qualification for the World Cup is once again upon us. For Riena, this campaign marks just the second attempt at shattering the glass ceiling and breaking into the illustrious ranks of nations who have made it to the World Cup proper. For fans of the Wavelets, the bitter disappointment on missing out on a spot in the playoffs last time around will linger long in the memory — having fought valiantly and surpassed all expectations, Riena faltered at the penultimate hurdle, losing to group rivals Zenic and allowing a golden opportunity to qualify to slip from their grasp. Optimism abounded following that painful near miss, and Haneda led her callow squad into the Cup of Harmony with the nation's hopes on their shoulders, where a respectable showing in Banija was ultimately tempered by an underwhelming knockout stage exit to WCC newcomers Kronbia. Yet more disappointment was to follow for the Wavelets faithful in the Campionato Esportiva — having failed to qualify from the group stage in their return to regional competition on home soil, Riena followed that up by slipping on yet another banana skin, an upset defeat to hosts Limey George dooming them to a second consecutive group stage exit. Now, with their attention turning to the World Cup qualifiers, Haneda must find some way to recapture the brilliant form Riena found during the heady early months of her tenure if she is to mount another relatively successful qualifying campaign. Read on for three talking points as the Wavelets prepare to open their campaign with a trip to Libesia before hosting Christian Brothers in Nagato.

Riena's inability to deal with high-pressure situations remains a problem for a team aspiring to greater things

---

It is perhaps only to be expected of a young, relatively inexperienced squad who have barely any experience of multiversal football under their belts, but there have been a handful of warning signs for Riena when it comes to the squad's collective mentality. Under Haneda, the Wavelets have tended to perform well whenever there have been little to no expectations placed on them — see the 1-0 win over Baker Park and the 0-0 draw against Tumbra in the previous qualifying campaign. In contrast, they have often choked whenever they are under pressure to perform. Case in point — Riena's loss to Zenic when they had to win on demand to make the playoffs, the aforementioned Cup of Harmony penalty shootout defeat to Kronbia, as well as the twin shock defeats against unheralded Nova Anglicana Admin Zone of Esportiva and Limey George which condemned the Wavelets to group stage exits in successive Campionatos. While it is all very well to ascribe such collapses in high-stakes situations to the callowness of youth, it is worth remembering that great players — and by extension, great teams — must have the mental fortitude to perform, and perform well, whenever the pressure is on them to secure a result. As of yet, Haneda's Riena have shown precious little sign of being able to deal with the pressure. This is most definitely an issue that Haneda and her coaching staff must deal with promptly — no serious team with aspirations of securing World Cup qualification, or indeed silverware of any note, can afford to buckle under the pressure of expectation.

Is Haneda's tactical inflexibility a sign of her faith in her principles, or a stubborn refusal to fix a malfunctioning system?

---

Much ink has been spilled over Haneda's tactical preferences. Throughout her debut qualifying campaign with Riena, the young manager typically set her team up in a high-energy, high-pressing 4-2-3-1 system, making use of a pair of flying full-backs to augment a potent attack blessed with highly technical attackers. While this approach yielded no little success in its early days — Haneda claimed a famous away victory against Baker Park, the biggest scalp of her managerial career thus far, playing this exact system — there has been signs that opponents are beginning to figure out a way to nullify it. This was perhaps most notable in the two matches that condemned Riena to exits in the two tournaments they have played since — a goalless draw against Kronbia and a 2-3 loss to Limey George. What must concern Haneda is the different ways in which she found herself tactically outmanoeuvred by her managerial counterparts in those matches. Kronbia successfully shut down the focal point of Riena's attack, the attacking midfielder Nagisa Nakiri, by putting two players on her and cutting off the passing lanes in the middle of the park. With the rest of the attack having a rare bad day at the office, Haneda's tactical alterations failed to pick the impenetrable Kronbian lock, and the Wavelets eventually found themselves on the losing end of a penalty shootout as a result. For their part, Limey George played Riena at their game, getting in behind the high defensive line that has been a characteristic of Riena's tactical configuration under Haneda with swift interplay down the wings before exploiting the lack of height in the Riena defence with deadly balls into the box. Haneda had no answer to this relentless aerial bombardment, and Riena duly conceded three goals to lose by the odd goal of five.

These two matches are perhaps the most obvious examples of Riena's tactical failings under Haneda, but there is an argument to be made that Riena's relative success during their maiden qualification campaign has been in spite of Haneda's tactical configuration rather than because of it. Even so, the manager has shown little inclination to make adjustments even when her approach has been ineffective. Her supporters claim that her single-minded refusal to compromise on her tactics is a sign of the faith she has in her tactics and in her players to ride out rough patches of form; on the other hand, her detractors say that her inflexibility marks her out as a misguided systems ideologue blind to her own failings. To be fair to Haneda, she has made a handful of attempts to deviate from her tried-and-trusted 4-2-3-1, most notably experimenting with a 3-5-2 in the most recent Campionato Esportiva, but the results have been poor, forcing Haneda to return to her tactical roots. It remains to be seen whether Haneda simply does not have an actionable Plan B whenever her Plan A fails. Her attempts at playing alternative tactical systems does suggest that she and her coaching team are aware of the issue and are making every effort to rectify it, but it remains to be seen whether they are capable of tactically setting Riena up for success for the rest of this cycle.

Accusations of favouritism continues to dog Haneda as she picks her squads

---

Every international manager will face accusations of favouritism at some point in their careers, but for Haneda, the criticism is perhaps more acute than it is for her counterparts. Since her appointment, Haneda has selected just thirty-two different players in her squads, and it is apparent that there is a core group of players that she trusts more than others to carry out her gameplan on the pitch. Yet despite her loyalty to them, some of those players have undeniably flattered to deceive in Riena's colours. Take, for example, the right-back Shiori Mihane: once touted as one of the most naturally talented players of her generation, a succession of injuries and niggles have set her career back significantly, to the extent that she is no longer first choice for her club or country. Haneda herself has been obliged to replace Mihane in her first-choice lineup simply because she has been so often unavailable through injury, but despite that, she continues to pick her, perhaps in the forlorn hope that she will be able to unlock Mihane's mercurial talent on the rare occasions she is fit. Another example is the winger Reisa Yuzuriha, who was similarly expected to develop into an elite attacker, but has failed to kick on due to her inconsistency and profligacy in front of goal. She, too, continues to be regularly selected for Haneda's squads despite frequently underwhelming whenever she plays.

Her tendency to pick frequently underperforming/injured players is a product of Haneda's marriage to her tactical system — having drilled her system into a core group of players over the course of the previous cycle, she is — somewhat understandably — hesitant to select players who will need to learn it from scratch. To put things into perspective, of the twenty-three players named in the Riena squad for the first two matches of World Cup 98 qualifying, only four players have fewer than ten caps, two of those reserve goalkeepers. Just eight other players have been named in a Riena squad under Haneda's management, and they have just thirteen caps between them. This reliance on a core group of players, admirable though it may be, cannot be unsustainable in the long run as players age, fall victim to injury, or suffer from losses in form. One solution is to simply for the manager to name larger squads of up to thirty players, and sources from within the RFA indicate that they are amenable to making that change in the future. Working with a smaller group of players has its benefits, of course, but it would seem that Riena would benefit from having a larger pool of players for their manager to select from. For the time being, however, it seems that Haneda intends to persist with the same group of players she has relied on throughout the past two years as she seeks to mastermind a push for qualification.

---

[Vdara]

Back in the Saddle

Despite multiple players switching clubs during international football's off-season, Vdara's WC98 squad is broadly the same as it was at the end of WC97, having gone through a large overhaul mid-cycle following a kneejerk reaction from manager Markos Moustakakos, who did not take too kindly to negative results against Crpostran and Aleirave. Now, with form trending in their direction and an interesting group draw, predictions began to flood in for an unprecedented fourth consecutive qualification.

VdarArena Training Centre
Chania

Sauntering out of the press centre following an intense questioning session from the nation's most annoying tabloid journalists, Markos took this rare occasion of pre-tournament annoyance as an opportunity to hide in a nook near the bins to smoke a cigarette. Of course, the manager of Vdara's most respected athletes doing something as detrimental to their health as smoking would be greatly frowned upon - but this is Markos Moustakakos, who was getting rather more cranky and scruffy as he aged. Muttering to himself, he began to ramble in between puffs of cigarette.

"I don't know why they ask me these things. 'Are you going to win the group?' 'Come second?' 'What are your expectations?' 'What do you think of this player?' - I don't know! I've never seen most of these guys before and they want me to give detailed descriptions of each and every player from each and every opponent. Fuck that! That's the scouts' problem for now, not mine, and that's besides the fact that they've been busy trying to find new players to draft into the fold for this tournament. Needless to say, they found fuck all."

He paced around a bit, blowing smoke all over the bins, and looking around him to make sure nobody was listening to his rants.

"All the time, the questions. All the time! Why can't they be nice ones? 'Oh, Markos, what's your favourite type of cheese?' or 'Mr. Moustakakos, will you sign this match-worn WC85 qualifiers jersey?' Why does it always have to be so hard, for crying out loud. The tournament hasn't even started yet and I'm smoking and ranting to an audience of bins."

Just then, a muffled voice came from seemingly nowhere.

"And the bins are listening."

"Agh, what the fuck?!"

A startled Markos flung open the bin lid, which let out another massive cloud of cigarette smoke.

"Afternoon, gaffer."

"Lambros? What in god's name are you doing here? You're a manager now, are you not?"

Former Captain Lambros Tantalopoulos emerged from the bin, visibly more stubbled than the cycle before, and dusting bin residue from his tracksuit bottoms.

"Well, gaffer - or should I say, Markos - a little birdie told me you tend to turn up here after press conferences, so I thought I'd wait around."

"Extremely weird for you to hide in a bin just to stalk me, but okay, sure. I didn't even know you smoked?"

"Oh, I didn't know either. But the little bi-"

"Yes, yes, enough about the little fucking birdie. What do you want?"

"I know you think I'm back for revenge, especially after the way in which you unkindly binned me off last cycle."

Markos' eyes darted to the bin and back.

"Well, you seem to have settled in well, but enough about the bin. How's South Newlandia treating you?"

"Oh, don't try and make this conversation cordial. You and I both know that we weren't going to get along after you stripped me of not only the armband, but my place in the team."

"You were past your best, Lambros! Languishing in the Ko-orenite lower divisions, with the team beginning to falter - what was I meant to do, give you a round of applause? A fucking testimonial?"

"Some respect would be nice! I captained this team to so many of its greatest achievements, and you fucked me off without prior warning."

"You fucked yourself off, you half-witted fud. The prior warnings were the losses and draws to Crpostran and Aleirave, in which you proved totally incapable of leading the squad much longer. Look how it ended, after all - another qualification, and progression to the knockout stage. There was method to my madness, and it unequivocally worked out for us all. You're managing a successful team, I'm managing a successful team. What more could you want?"

"Well, if I'm being entirely honest, it's transparency I'm after. I wasn't quite satisfied with the answer you gave me in the boardroom two years ago, and I want a better one. So, Markos. Tell me here, and tell me now: was it actually performance-related, or did you just need an excuse to cover up for the shoddy games? I need some tips for my managerial career, after all."

"Of course it was performance-related, nobody wants to fire their team veterans into the sun mid-cycle. This is the same Vdara that sacked a manager mid-qualifiers, we're ruthless! It's what we do, you can't really sweat it."

"See, that's not a fair comparison whatsoever. When Lukaeks got sacked all those years ago, you were the one that benefitted. You were the shining light, a glint in your eye. A hero's welcome, a Hollywood smile, everything. Then, when we succeeded, you got all the credit for what came, despite the foundations having already been laid by your predecessor. I have to say, Markos, I feel like that predecessor. I wore the armband proudly and gave 100% day in, day out, only for you to fob me off, fling the honour at someone else, and pretend I didn't have a part to play when we eventually qualified. It hurts, man! I have to say, though, the joy I get from knowing that this job makes you absolutely miserable is amazing. The pressure's getting to you, big man. I know what it's like to be a manager now. It's tough, sure, but you have to weather the storms that come and try to not let them get to you. But you! Oh, you, you, you... you're bricking it, mate. You know that you've had more years behind you than you do ahead."

"And you're telling me this after hiding in a bin? Don't make me laugh, Lambros. You're an amateur coach compared to me. If it's my job you're after, you'll need to get yourself some actual successes."

"Why, though? All you had was an under-18s World Cup and some aura?"

"In my first year of management, ha. Besides, nobody with aura hides in bins. Do you ever hear about the likes of Jaffacake, Tzimices, or Di Bradini hiding in bins? Course not. Real men have lackeys to do that sort of thing for them, like your assistant, or your shittest scout."

"I clearly have aura, otherwise you wouldn't have captained me."

"If you have to insist, you probably don't. Now, bin man, unlike you I have better things to be doing, and you've interrupted my peaceful smoke break, so fuck off and go and hide in someone else's bin."

Markos emerged from behind the bins, only to see one of the youngsters staring back at him.

"Were you talking to yourself back there?"

"None of your business. Run back to the others."

"It's fine, we all have our mental moments from time to time."

"Son, if you ever tell me that an old friend-turned-nemesis popped up from the bin next to you seeking answers, I'll have you sectioned. Also, you don't dare to tell a fucking soul about that."

The youngster looked baffled, before running off to where he was meant to be. Clearly this cycle was getting off to a confusing start.

[Libesia]

Debasis Garg (file photo)

Retired Zwangzugian footballer Debasis Garg has been appointed manager of the Libesian national team in what has been variously described as “a bold forward thinking step”, “a landmark moment of international advancement for the Cheetahs”, and “possibly an administrative error”.

The Libesian Football Association has denied reports that Mr. Garg was accidentally appointed manager despite lacking any experience or qualifications while being delayed navigating the notoriously labyrinthine Libesian customs and immigration bureaucracy for a cancelled connecting flight and being directed to fill out form Q17!A instead of form Q17!B, for a lost luggage receipt.

President Thandabantu Hambani forcefully denied newspaper allegations that Garg had been appointed as a result of a mix-up at the customs and immigration bureau, although an LFA spokesman said: “Actually, Mr. President... that’s not entirely accurate.”

[Banija]

- Deleted by Banija, RP posted with the wrong nation -

[Damukuni]

Damukuni: A Travelogue
presented by DAX, official Damukuni broadcaster of World Cup 98

The first installment of our travelogue will introduce you to our fair country, give a brief overview of our history, and set up where we're headed as we take our worthy World Cup qualifying stage opponents on tour!

Who We Are

---

Damukuni is a federal republic of 22 states in the northern continent of Esportiva and on the southern edge of the continent of Dre in Sonnel. In Esportiva, it's bordered by Tumbra to the east, Kita-Hinode to the northeast, the Banijan territory of Njaza to the north, and Boring Paradise to the northwest. The five states in Sonnel are bordered by Nicerford to the north and Aeryngale to the east. Its capital, Atarashii-Damushuto, sits near the geographic center of the Esportivan portion, known as the mainland. Each of Damukuni's states has its own capital and subdivisions, except for Reishu Circuit, Shinagawa-chō, and the Sonnel states, which are unitary states. All states have, since 2014 (it is now 2084), mandated a republican form of government.

Since 2014, Damukuni has had an executive President, who serves as both head of government and head of state. Its bicameral Legislative Assembly consists of a High Senate, whose representatives are chosen in equal number for each state by each state's legislature, and a Popular Congress, where representation is based on population and is directly elected by each state's population of eligible voters. Its High Judiciary, which interprets the country's constitution and serves as its highest federal appellate court, consists of 12 justices, who are appointed by the President and confirmed by the High Senate.

How We Got Here

---

In 1093 AD seafaring disciples of St. John Bosco fell through a portal to a distant land in the multiverse. They encountered a land inhabited by native Damukunians (who themselves were an offshoot of a tribe of Sunrisians). By 1250 AD, a group of people that spoke Ethanian (or Ethanese, if you prefer) settled in what is now West Bay. The two peoples and cultures converged by 1300 and established, with the help of the mission program started by the missionaries, a papal state governed as a small set of princes.

By the year 1500, several of the princes agreed to confederate and allow their states to become democratically governed. Except for what is now the state of Tenjiro, which was its own feudal country at the time, the citizenry of the territories outside what were known as the "Free States" became resentful, as the democratic areas of the country grew in economic power and influence through the empire. Roughly 500 years later, with the Free States taking near complete economic control of the country, the pope died, and a hardline feudalist, Nakerebu Cardinal Nakewara (Pope Narcissus), was elected; he attempted to consolidate control of the country into a unitary theocracy. His reign as pope only lasted three weeks; on 24 January 2014, a uranium miner named Naruto Shinagawa led a group of initally 50 of his colleagues on a protest march from their mines, in the northwest of the country (now part of Reishu Circuit) all the way to the capital city, only to find that Narcissus and his attendants, fearing a rebellion, had fled the country. A transitional goverment was installed, and, on the 31st, Naruto Shinagawa proclaimed a new federal republic, consisting of all of the mainland states plus the feudal state of Tenjiro.

In 2020, Damukuni's first warp-capable spacefaring cruiser, FSS Shinagawa, was completed. It promptly discovered the planet Sonnel and was allowed to claim land in exchange for preservation of the cultures of the native inhabitants. Today, South Dre is home to five of Damukuni's 22 states.

In 2025, the chieftain of Islana Lunigo entered into an agreement with Damukuni to become a state in exchange for protection of the culture and natural resources within the island.

In 2075, the southern part of the state of South Damukuni, dominated by Guayabalense peoples, rebelled against the state government. The Legislative Assembly passed, and then-President Sayano Narukami signed, an agreement for the southern part of the state of South Damukuni to become the State of La Costa, with Retalhuleu as its state capital. The remainder of the state would be renamed for South Damukuni's capital city, Endoshi.

Where We're Going

---

The first two qualifying matches against the Busoga Islands and Siovanija & Teusland will be at the Namagoro Cricket Complex, in Damukuni's largest city, Namagoro! You'll hear more about the state and its capital city in the next installment. Stay tuned!

OOC NOTE: An updated map will be available in the next RP.

[West Vdara]

Channel 2 Kanaria

"Glorious comrades of the revolution, we greet you once more with the exciting news that our great footballers will be ready to fight once more! Regrettably, we find very few ideological comrades in our group, and it appears we will once more be flying the lone flag of socialism high above our opponents. How despicable of them, one can only hope they change their ways! For more information on the teams that we regrettably must face, we must go to sports correspondent Stavros."

The screen cuts to a bushy-haired, odd-looking fella with sunglasses and an oversized blazer.

"Kalispera, Western Vdarans! Yes, it is true, our proud nation will be hoisting the red flag above many of our globalist, anti-revolutionary opponents. Our first hurdle is the nation of Archalit, who we have very little information about - but from what we know, the proletariat there are oppressed and must be freed by foreign intervention. In addition, there is perhaps our most capitalist and globalist opponent yet in the form of West Barack and East Obama. They may also have a red and yellow flag and a supreme leader, but there is nothing red about them! They oppress their citizens under the precursor of 'Obamacare', and we must travel to this nation of fat cats and elitists following our first match. But fear not, our men decked in glorious revolutionary red and yellow kits shall endeavour to crush their spirits once and for all. Back to you, comrade."

"Thank you, Stavros. Your passion for this nation's ideological and sporting escapades is second to none, and our people will surely share your enthusiasm. In other news, a controlled explosion at the headquarters of the Western Vdaran Information and Intelligence Bureau was carried out today by an experienced demolition team in order to provide our emergency crews with greater experience. There were no casualties, as this was a drill, and citizens have no reason to be concerned. Thank you all for watching tonight's briefing, and stay tuned for further information to come."

[Saint Eleanor]

Group of Six Twenty-Nine meeting (XLII) --- SAINT ELEANOR 1-2 Mytanija
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], all other players [by convention]
Location: The team hotel, New Lodger City, EFL

MAJOR MATCH EVENTS: Coombe 56; Ovsyannikov 24, Vdovichenko 68. The match has been extensively discussed and, as is the form, will not be relitigated here. All Eleanorian players will be available for the first round of WC98 qualifiers.


LESSONS LEARNED: "Are there any to be had?" (~ Exandra). Yes, as plenty of her teammates were apt to argue. "We all thought that G would be a tough group, just maybe not this tough" (~ Tim), for starters. The Banija and Eastfield Lodge draws were "totally reasonable, given the circumstances" (~Esther); there was a widespread, although not unanimous, sense that the team deserved something out of this game, as well.
This was a match very much punctuated by its goals. There was action, to be sure, "but I daresay that it was not all that crucial to the proceedings" (~ Denise). Everyone agreed that we were "a bit desperate for another goal after that" (~ Robby), but "the Mytanars repeatedly took us by surprise, especially with the fullback switch - I would never" (~ Graham) - which is something we need to look out for in future games against high-quality teams, on a case-by-case basis, of course. Nevertheless, there was "very little, perhaps almost nothing" (~ Lydia) to fault with our overall execution of strategy throughout the tournament.
Our coaches in particular will probably be asking themselves "Can we please stop conceding bangers?" (~ Tina) - although that might not be a fair demand when we've scored a couple ourselves.


RECOMMENDATIONS: There is no need for any tactical change. "We are a very, very good team who played very, very good qualifiers that simply had a surprisingly bad final tournament; quelle surprise there, given the circumstances" (~ Olympia).
New players will be called in, given the retirement of Exandra and Georgia; there may be one or two down the pipe, but not an unbelievable amount, nor are we looking at anything like WC91/95/97.


MOVING FORWARD: I will be handling notes for MD1 of WCQ98. SEFA will be organising a major press conference tomorrow afternoon at which I'll summarise the notes made in this meeting there.

~GB

Oneshot: The Next Right

7:19pm - Friday 7th June 2013

"How close have you come to throwing it all away?"

"I couldn't find a job for two or three months."

"You're wrong, Dave. You've gotten it all so terribly wrong." Gregory Batley was not happy, to say the least, Something had happened on the next street down or three; he wouldn't get to his urgent meeting, or so he told the two or three people in his life that it was. His driver had signalled right. That was the plan. That was the destination.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at your life right now. You're taking a man with nowhere to go..."

"11 Wilcox Street."

"Yes, that's a layby. It's why I've called on your services."

"Bit of skirt there, I take it?"

"No. Not in this decade. Times change." (Apparently, feminism is still controversial to some people.)

"Why is this 'wasting my time?' Clearly there's something important." Dave Reynolds was right. He was not, however, expecting to be proven right any time soon.

"Now, you're stuck at a red light. Think about the consequences. You jump it, get into a bit of trouble - walk free. Or you don't. And you don't."

"And why should I believe this is so important? It's on the next right, couple of more minutes and you're there."

"Fate has her ways."

"Bridget doesn't normally intervene with the taxis...?"

"Stop acting like a child. This is a time for men. You take the next right, or I leave."

"I can't."

"You can. I'd say you have to."

"Do not tell me what to do. I am busy trying to follow the law and get you to your destination as fast as I can."

"I know. I am just saying I need to get to my destination."

"And I said I'm doing it."

"I've been waiting here the past few minutes. For what?"

"This is a known issue."

"Not known to me, sir. Think about how close you've come to throwing it all away." With that, Greg walked out, conveniently forgetting his luggage. Dave stared into space, inexorably, waiting for the light to turn green. That was the last day he would work as a taxi driver.

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Lodger

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Sport >>> Football >>> World Cup 98

A new era for Eastfield Lodge - a look ahead at World Cup 98 qualifying

Ahead of this weekend’s opening qualifying match for the 98th World Cup, we look ahead at what the Imperial Commonwealth can expect under the helm of its first ever foreign manager.

World Cup 97 was a magical experience for football fans both in Eastfield Lodge and across the multiverse. The first ever 48 team finals, the first ever finals to be hosted in the Imperial Commonwealth, the co-hosts exceeded all expectations by not only advancing from the group stages, but even reaching the quarter-finals with a spectacular series of wins. It was a fitting end to the long-suffering career of Robert Andrews at the helm of the team, announcing his retirement straight after the match against the Squornshelans. His replacement, lYuezhou’s Corinne Mersiades has a very simple brief - turn a team that took 20 cycles to qualify into one that are regulars in the finals.

Copa Rushmori 47 wasn’t a great start - a loss and a draw from the opening two matches, before clawing a place in the knockouts by winning the two remaining group games, where the run was ended by Darmen. In fairness, being appointed only a few weeks prior to the tournament, with a single friendly against an inexperienced Schottia side the only match preparation in advance and an ever ageing team learning a brand new system, the odds were stacked against Mersiades. Now, with time under her belt, more research available regarding her pool of options, and some surprising moves in the transfer market bringing up the stock of Eastfielder players, there is a hype around the camp and the wider footballing public that the Imperial Commonwealth

The Squad Changes

With a change in formation comes a change of the starting lineup and the squad as a whole. And with an ageing squad comes a spate of retirements. It’s a straight swap on the goalkeeping bench as Dorinda Becker-Athena is replaced by her club successor Yuvin O’Sullivan, the former U18 national team keeper finally breaking through to the first team. In the backline, both long-serving full backs in October Lie and Leyton Begum announced their international retirements, along with RGS centre-back Jazzmine Sky-Afzal. Replacing her in the heart of defence is Zakaria Webber, the former Stags centre back now plying his trade for Chromatik side Alnio. Albion’s Sadid St Cleer takes over at left back, whilst right back sees the first new addition to the squad as Olympia’s Keyshawn Strong is rewarded for a magnificent season with a callup and a likely debut ahead of another debutant, Royal Jam’s Diana Kirkup.

Midfield is the biggest area to be shaken up, and it starts with Harun Farrow assuming the captaincy after Sky-Afzal’s retirement, the newly minted Hoima Warriors midfielder now joined in the centre of the pitch by the Royals’ Vonn Cope, who also makes his international debut at the relatively ripe age of 31. Further down the squad list you’ll also find new additions from Royal Jam and Walston Brook Albion, with Vivia Winter-Lula and Urvi Blomqvist hoping to climb up the pecking order and claim a spot in the finals ahead of the returning Emmie Toure and Florian Mordecai. The three attacking players lineup in a similar fashion to the old squad, with Boet Caceres predicted to replace Sundus Gebo-McGraw on the right hand side of the three. Paisley Lysander continues to lead the centre following his big money move in the summer to Chromatika’s Crossroads, whilst there are debut call ups for VLC’s Genaro Wraight and former Strawberries midfielder Daisi Hackett. Up front, the ageing VLC pair of Ramsey Dean-Jamal and Bishop Messa were difficult to split, but in the end Messa was the one to lose his place to newcomer Chappell Holdsworth of Norrion Rovers.

The Opponents

Eastfield Lodge will head into the qualifying campaign as the second seeded side for only the fourth time in their history, but Corinne Mersiades will be looking to break the trend that those previous campaigns have set - the Imperial Commonwealth have never qualified from a group where they are a second seed.

Matchdays 1 (H) & 8 (A) - Mertagne (18)
The opening match of the campaign is a straight up clash between the top two seeds in the group, in a tie that will largely set the tone of the whole group for both sides. The two have only met in one qualifying campaign before, the mammoth 20 match World Cup 94 campaign where Mertagne were surprisingly held on their own turf, before returning the favour and demolishing Eastfield Lodge 3-1 in the return leg on the final day. This will be too close to call, but the opening day should certainly be a fun competitive match.

Matchdays 2 (H) & 9 (A) - Olastor (318)
These two nations share a lot of history, with Olastor originally founded from refugees fleeing the original establishment of the Empire. And both being located in Rushmore, have shared plenty of encounters on the pitch in the Copa Rushmori, with Eastfield Lodge largely the victors in those. In World Cup terms however, it has been 20 World Cups since the two last met, with the second seeds remaining unbeaten across four total encounters and having won three of them. The 7th seeds should pose little threat this time as well in either match.

Matchdays 3 (A) & 10 (H) - United States of Nova Calania (89)
The fifth seeds on Nova Calania are the first new opponent this World Cup cycle for the Imperial Commonwealth. However, their relatively poor showing last cycle does give hope for Eastfield Lodge this time out as well, and fans will be expecting wins all around as well.

Matchdays 4 (H) & 11 (A) - Natanians and Nosts (72)
Another long participating nation with little success, the fourth seeds do have history with Eastfield Lodge in the few cycles after the last time the Imperial Commonwealth qualified manually. The first meeting was actually in a Cup of Harmony group stage though, a draw seeing the Imperial Commonwealth exit in a rather dismal performance. Being drawn into the same group in World Cup 80, the second seeds gained their revenge, winning both legs to head into these matches 2-1-0 up.

Matchdays 5 (A) & 12 (H) - Kandorith (117)
The sixth seeds are another new opponent for Eastfield Lodge, 117th Kandorith are another one of those sides that have been around for a while but never consistently enough to build up a head of steam. Although the two have never met in World Cup competition, we still believe there to be enough of a gap that Eastfield Lodge should come out on top across the two encounters.

Matchdays 6 (H) & 13 (A) - City of Myrtle Beach (51)
The trickiest matches to call will be both matches against the third seeds, the relative newcomers in this group compared to the more storied members elsewhere. Myrtle Beach actually qualified for the last World Cup, beating Cardenao in the group stage only to be narrowly eliminated on group difference in the third place table. Having been newcomers, the two teams have never met prior to being drawn together, but being a key match in the run-in will make this one to watch.

Matchdays 7 (A) & 14 (H) - Northwest Kalactin (UR)
The lowest seeds of the group are the side that Eastfield Lodge will have to face on the final matchday of the group, and they may host Northwest Kalactin needing a result to secure qualification. As final games go, this is probably one of the easiest they could have asked, especially with the Imperial Commonwealth’s infamous history when it comes to last matchday gambits. The two sides have yet to meet in WCC competition, but anything less than two wins will be a concerning sign.

---

Likely line-up to play Mertagne/Olastor (4-2-3-1)
Horak - Webber, Guillou Strong, St Cleer - Farrow, Cope - Caceres, Fredrich, Lysander - Noble
Suspended: N/A
Injured: N/A

[Busoga Islands]

President Delbin Kasekende Sr., at a pep rally two days before Busoga's first home World Cup Qualifier

... "And this is why, this is WHY the plan- Buosga 100- is going to have a perfect ending! A three cycle surge to the World Cup!" He spoke to the crowd, and they cheered. "Look at what we've done here- we've invested in this program, invested in this national team- and in a few days, we've got our first home World Cup Qualifier in 10+ cycles? The world will know Busoga's name- and when they hear it, it'll be heard with respect!" The crowd cheered towards the end of his speech. The plan was bold, and public- three cycles, get there by World Cup 100, It was a bold move for a President who had been so transformative- but he had wanted, desperately, for Busoga to have some sort of sporting success before he eventually left his post.

Delbin Kasekende Sr. was the second President of the Islamic Republic, and he had been in charge for almost an entire quarter century. Year 24 in office- four, 6 year term. And for someone who had been in office so long, he had actually done a pretty good job of maintaining the support of the public. Consistently re-elected with the same majority that got him into office, and generally peaked around 60% popularity. Busoga had remained a legitimate democracy, with President Kasekene presiding over consistent economic growth in his time in office. Strong economic growth, steadying the ship when AO split in half with the formation of Anaia, and keeping things cool again when AO died and Arrosia formed.

Busoga was a small country, surrounded by big ones. Keep stability, maintain economic growth, and be calm in the face of the changing winds of the world- he probably could hold onto this job for as long as he wanted. Election time was soon, and he was going to run for a fifth term. He was personally popular- but amongst other politicos in the Busoga Islands, he was grating. He did a good job not making it cronyism, or family business or anything- but now two generations of politicians had essentially been locked out of the best spots, the top jobs. Busogas foreign and finance minister, for example, were the first two that he had when originally elected. So while the nation's younger politicos were ready to get rid of him, here was here to stay... For now.

He was an all-encompassing figure. President of the Islamic Republic. President of the Busoga Islander Soccer Association. His son, famous member of the national team. His grandson- player in the NSCF, for LeBois Santura University. But getting the national team to the World Cup? Well, he would get that done, or die trying...