WC 82 RP Thread

[Krytenia]

Pretty Please, With Ancherion Top
By Rami Niblick in Ostholden, Ancherion

LADIES, gentlemen, and others, this is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. Okay, so Alex Sampson is actually a Libra, but you get the point. With the pointy-eared agent of destruction disappearing into the horizon, Krytenia's unlikely tilt at qualification suddenly looks that bit less unlikely. True, Ancherion haven't exactly been pulling up trees in qualifying, but three points are three points, and after the disasters of the Valrauncion era, we'll take what we can.

It's a refreshing sight to see Krytenia so comfortable on the ball. Unless, of course, you happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. Roberto Juliano returned to the midfield like he'd never left, enjoying a new-found freedom in the Sampson style of football. Selaphiel Kennedy is nigh-unplayable on the ball. Hell, even the back four look like they've finally got their heads attached properly now. Krytenia dominated the game from start to finish, allowing their hosts precious little of the oxygen of possession. Kennedy and Chris Naismith both netted in the first half, and the game was as good as over when Josh Coquelin added a third with a viciously dipping volley on the hour mark. Ancherion briefly gave themselves a sniff of the game late on when substitute Charlotte Green met a cross beautifully to head home, but it was a mere blip, and Kennedy bagged himself a second a few minutes from time to complete a rout.

Next up is the return match against Indusse. The Dragons spluttered to a point with that idiot in charge; Sampson's sky blue squadron, though, will be looking to take all three and do it in style. Onward!

ANCHERION - 1
Green 79

KRYTENIA - 4
Kennedy 26, 86
Naismith 37
Coquelin 60

[Mytanija]

FIRST-HALF SALVO SHOWS SIGNS OF LIFE
REPIN SAVES HIS JOB WITH SOLID RESULTS VS COSUMAR, VARTUGIA; STILL UNDER PRESSURE

by Nevenka Planinc

VARTUGIA 1-3 MYTANIJA (at Any Field That Doesn't Fit For Football Stadium; attendance 1,093)
VRT: Bait 87’
MYT: Kalinic 10’, J. Odonelec 26’, Andrijasevic 29’

VRT: IDK What; Player, Click To Edit, This, Bait (C); Name, Bob, Bob Bob, Th, Bad RP; Dont Trust-us
MYT: Kasun; P. Odonelec, Apostolov, Jernejec, Nikolov; Vukomanovic, Hrdaljko (sub. Pogaenik 55’); Gavrilovic, J. Odonelec (C) (sub. Shishkin 45’), Kalinic (sub. Nikic 50’); Andrijasevic

Mytanija followed up their spirited 3-3 draw with Cosumar at the Miagostadion with an altogether different assignment as they travelled to Vartugia to play a team that had done almost as poorly as the Hoops in the final game prior to the halfway point of qualification for World Cup 82. The early optimism surrounding the Hoops as dispersed entirely at this point and many believe that this qualification cycle can already be consigned to the scrapheap of Mytanar footballing history and that the FSM should be looking forward to a potential Cup of Harmony invite and trying to redeem the country’s reputation a little bit there.

Lev Repin naturally has other ideas as he tries to save his job (and his reputation, as a Cosumarite news source wryly noted), and he went some way in doing that in these last couple of fixtures. The trip to Vartugia was fraught with uncertainty as the Hoops looked to play a team that hasn’t competed in NSWC competition before. From the strange name of their stadium to the strange name of their players, not much added up and this provided Repin an opportunity to get some points on the board that he couldn’t afford to pass up.

He named a much changed team from the 3-3 draw with Cosumar and used the fixture to give game time to some younger players in the national pool, including Patrik Odonelec, Alen Hrdaljko and Zlatan Andrijasevic. There was also a change to a 4-2-3-1 formation from the 4-3-1-2 that Repin has used since the loss versus Qusmo. The only first-choice players named were Pedja Kasun and Jasno Odonelec, with the latter making himself nigh-on impossible to drop given his solidly consistent performances in a team that has been entirely disappointing. He had 4 goals in 7 appearances before this game and few would bet against him adding more to that tally.

Boris Kalinic opened the scoring ten minutes in with a dinked finish over Vartugian goalkeeper IDK What. A delightful ball from Alen Hrdaljko between the home team’s left-back and centre-half cut open their defensive line and Kalinic sped in behind them before coolly chipping the ball over the onrushing goalkeeper. A fine finish and a goal for Kalinic who hadn’t scored since his first cap for the national team. He will have put himself back in Repin’s thinking with this goal and his more general level of play in this game – albeit against limited opposition.

Repin will have a lot to think about regardless, given the team’s poor performances up until this point. Losses against lower-ranked opposition like Sajnur, Kavagrad and Alluersia are particularly disappointing when taken in the context of how tight the group is. Solid results in draws against higher-ranked countries such as Cosumar and Mattijana show that this group of players can get things done, but they haven’t performed to their true potential in qualification for WC82.

Jasno Odonelec continued his great form with the Hoops’ second in the 26th minute, a long ball from his cousin Patrik Odonelec found Zlatan Andrijasevic, with the big centre forward putting himself between the ball and Vartugian centre-half Click To Edit. Andrijasevic chested the ball down and Odonelec allowed the ball to bounce once before unleashing a terrific half-volley that flew into the net. The home side’s goalkeeper didn’t even move and domestic commentators used the old adage about a ‘foot like a traction engine’ to describe the pace with which the 1912 Stelburg playmaker hit the ball. 2-0 and Mytanija looked to be cruising, although they were only performing to expectations at this point, something they hadn’t done during qualification thus far.

Zlatan Andrijasevic turned from provider to scorer three minutes later. Kalinic was played in by Jasno Odonelec, a fine pass to the by-line allowed the winger space and time to hit a pass into the centre of the penalty area and the Directus man didn’t disappoint. Kalinic fizzed it in and Zlatan Andrijasevic simply needed to turn the ball into the back of the net to send the Hoops 3-0 up and surely onto what was only their second win of the group stage.

Repin rested some of his more important players, substituting them off early into the second half. Jasno Odonelec – who had taken the captain’s armband for the game – came off at the interval itself, allowing young Maks Shishkin to come on for his first international cap. Pedja Kasun took up the armband for the remainder of the game. Five minutes later and Boris Kalinic came off, Sinisa Nikic taking his place and five minutes after that Alen Hrdaljko was brought off for Radovan Pogaenik. Repin was aware that he didn’t need any injuries given the team’s poor showings (although he has had almost a full complement of players to choose from throughout qualifiers!), and the need to improve after the halfway point of qualification.

The Hoops did concede a late consolation from the Vartugian right-back and captain Bait, but it wasn’t a terminal lapse in concentration like so many have been for Mytanija during qualifying games up until this point. The solid lead the team had built paid dividends and is a perfect example of how the team needs to take their chances, a lack of doing so has led to the lowly position within the group that the Mytanar national side currently occupy.

The last two games do demonstrate what the team can do, though, and there is no doubt that there has been some improvement. The spirited performance against the group’s top seed Cosumar evoked memories of historic Mytanar sides that fought it out toe-to-toe with the multiverse’s best teams. The real disappointment has been in fixtures where the team has been billed as the favourite and arguably should have won, it’s well-known that beating the less-fancied opposition is the usual route to qualification, games against top teams are good for narrative but this sport is all about consistency in those games where your team ‘should win’.

Failure to do this has been the downfall of this team and Repin will hope he can create the background for further resurgence in the break between now and the next qualification fixture, a tough task away to Velestria.

[Kelssek]

Kelssek salvage point in ten-goal thriller

A scrambling end to scrappy game saw Kelssek gain a point from a match that had everything: goals, heartbreak, comedy. Brayden Custworth scored thrice in the last ten minutes, but unfortunately there was no hat-trick as one of those scores was into his own net.

Custworth broke the deadlock, a 3-3 deadlock that is, showing the finishing that earned him a transfer to Oldem Mechanical with 81 minutes on the clock. Olastor struck back just two minutes later as Kai Poirier saved a long range shot, but managed to direct the ball directly onto Custworth's knee and into the goal. Tracking back has never been so cruelly punished.

Custworth must have thought his header to make it 5-4 after being left curiously unmarked would stand as the winner one minute into stoppage time, but the board did say six and Olastor sent the home fans away celebrating when they managed to scramble the ball over the line following a poorly-cleared corner kick.

At the halfway point in qualifying, the result left unfancied Olastor in first place in the group, ahead of much more-fancied 95X on goal difference, with favourites Turori and Kita-Hinode coming up behind. Kelssek sits in fifth place with a 3-4-2 record, knowing anything genuinely could happen the way this group has turned out so far.

"Many of the teams we're playing are complete mysteries and it's no surprise there are lots of surprises," said Kelssek manager Kirk McDonagh after the match. "This was just one of those games, you know?"

[Lisander]

Foot-blog.ls

Good Job, Lisander, and Welcome, Nico!

While we were still celebrating the victory against Pratapgadh, a small incident caused the departure of a player in the national team that is playing the qualifiers. Tássio Camden probably no longer plays in these qualifiers. But it's for a very special reason. The #10 of national eleven was released to be present at the birth and to the first days of the life of his daughter, "Nico". Camden's wife, Pia St. Marie, also a capped midfielder, but for the national field hockey team, gave birth earlier than expected.

As soon as the team arrived in Frederickvil for the match against Garifunya, Camden was told by his relatives that St. Marie had gone into labor three weeks earlier than planned and asked to leave the team, which was reported shortly afterwards by the coach Andreas Fox at a press conference.

"Dear friends, I would like to inform you that I have released Tássio Camden from the national team until the end of the qualifying rounds. He's already back in Lisander, having left on the same plane we arrived. His wife, fellow athlete Pia St. Marie, had to be hospitalized for a minor complication of her pregnancy. I could not, in any way, keep Camden with the team at a time like this. I believe his place is there, with Pia and their baby. According to what Camden has talked to me about, he should be back for the Final Tournament, if we qualify, or maybe for the last round of the Qualifiers, in Sparta Stadium, but this will, of course, depend on the health of wife and baby. For the second half of the qualifiers, a replacement midfielder will be called. However, Camden remains on the roster, and so the # 10 shirt will not be used in the upcoming games. As the tradition rules, anyone who is summoned in the place of Camden and any other who needs to leave will use #24, #25, #26 and so on."

While the national team was on the field, keeping the first place in the group (a solid 3-1 in Garifunya. Milo Somerville at 36', Yoann Dawson at 53' and Lukas Hiltmann at 87' scored Lisander's goals, while Adriaan van Petersen scored for the hosts at 71'), Camden was at the Sainte Galadrielle l'Archange Maternity Hospital in Kasandora, for the birth of little Nicole Galadrielle Camden-St. Marie, who came to the world with 48cm and 2.8kg. Due to her almost premature birth, the girl should spend a few days in the incubator before leaving the hospital and returning to the family home in Sirenia.

On the internet, Club Sparta (Camden team) and Hellenian Hockey (St. Marie team) welcomed Nico, and even "argued" to know in which of the teams the girl will play in the future:

Club Sparta @clubsparta Welcome #Nico! The red and black nation awaits you with open arms! You'll only have to decide between Hockey and Football! MEEPSHEARTS 4001.2k 21:17 - 18 March 2019

Hellenian Hockey @hellenian_hc Sorry @clubsparta, but this princess is Hellenian from Mommy's belly! #WelcomeNico MEEPSHEARTS 90977 21:41 - 18 March 2019

The Foot-blog team welcomes little Nico and sends her best wishes that everything goes well. May this little girl bring luck to her daddy and the whole national eleven!

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

another unnecessary filler backstory, just for continuity purposeshttps://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1183762

Following the ceremony that saw the new Kabaka crowned, the delegation representing Baker Park returned to the residence of their Ambassador to Banija, Robert Johanssen, where they were served a light buffet supper. The Head and his wife were staying as guests at the Johanssen home, while the rest of them were staying at a hotel in the city. They were scheduled to return to the Commonwealth the next day, but had managed to arrange a lunch audience at the residence with a few important VIPs.
Upon their arrival two days earlier, the PM had prevailed upon the Banijan Ambassador to Baker Park to see if the former Luguba--now Sarauniya--Iriama and her second son, Omugabe Basamula, would be disposed to have a private luncheon with the Baker Park delegation. The PM had a particular affinity for the now former Queen, and the Omugabe was widely seen as being the successor to his older brother as the Waziri.

Although they were sure that the Kabaka would continue to have a close relationship with the country, staff of both Rebecca Schoenlein and Michael Gregson thought it a good idea to cultivate relationships with others who would be close and influential to the King. Swede Johanssen had a close social and diplomatic relationship with the Royal Family, so the invitation wasn't too out of the ordinary.

Obviously, the Kabaka himself could not be expected to take time from his duties for a courtesy meal with a close ally nation, but in the absence of any official announcement, it wouldn't be out of bounds for either of the invited guests to accept. With the addition of a few other members of the Royal House, the guest list ended up at 36.

The PM, Ambassador and the Head agreed that the mood should be kept respectful, as the family were still officially in mourning; the menu was developed with locally sourced produce and meat prominent.

Both the Prime Minister and the Head of State had a few brief remarks prior to the start of the serving; they reflected on the late Albert III and thanked the Banijan guests for allowing them to repay some of the hospitality that they received on their previous visit. The Omugabe made a brief reply, saying that he and his family were grateful for all of the support and friendship that Baker Park had provided for the Kingdom.

The meal went smoothly, the tone of the gathering shifted from quiet respect to lighter conversation and warmth as the Royal guests strived to make their hosts comfortable by steering conversations away from the past and towards the future.

The Queen Mother thanked the Prime Minister for her continued interest in the Queen's welfare, and that the invitation was most welcome as a distraction from the events surrounding the death of her husband and accession of her son; of course she wore the brooch that Schoenlein had sent as a gift, saying it was a cherished piece of jewelry.

It ended up being the Commonwealth contingent that had to cut the post-lunch discussions short, as they were scheduled to depart on their flight home.

[The Sherpa Empire]

The police were not sure what to do with Danu. They thought he might be schizophrenic, but they weren't eager to send him to the camps. They seemed to sense that there was something different about this case. They kept him locked up while they waited for the results of the DNA test and debated what to do with him, but they weren't abusive. There was a cop named Tsewang who gave him oranges and custard to supplement the bland gloppy meals that were served to the prisoners.

A few days went by.

The sketch of Kai Qiang based on Danu's description was shown on the evening news as "a suspect wanted in connection with the Urumqi bombing." They didn't want to use Qiang's name because that would make it too difficult to sweep under the rug if Danu's information turned out to be wrong. They weren't very confident in him as a source.

A few more days went by.

People came and went from the jail -- new arrests, releases, and transfers to the camps.

Syangboche Athletic Complex, Namche:

The Fuzhou Bats and the Khumbu Icefall Doctors were getting ready to play a game of baseball. Minister of Public Works Dawa Patil waddled out to the pitchers mound to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. Even though nobody expected him to be any good at pitching, he still felt nervous having so many eyes on him. The stadium was not unusually large for a venue of its kind, but Patil was not a professional athlete, and the view from the field was new to him. It was awe-inspiring and it made him feel very small to be surrounded by such an awesome structure. Around the stadium, colorful pennants and prayer flags fluttered in the wind. On a balcony in right field were the names and numbers of players whose numbers had been retired: #3 Rao, #6 Zhang, # 16 Banerjee, #83 Ihawa. Dawa Patil knew who they all were, and he couldn't imagine what it was like having the athletic talent that they did. He didn't feel worthy to pitch from the same mound as Jamling Ihawa had, even as a ceremonial thing. He went into an awkward wind-up, arm flab and belly fat jiggling with the movement, and threw a pitch in the dirt.

National Stadium, Kathmandu:

The Fuzhou Rockets and the Kathmandu Aryans were getting ready to play. Minister of Public Works Jamling Ihawa took the mound to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. These sorts of public appearances were his favorite part of being a government official in a fascist state -- especially when he could find an excuse to make an official appearance at a baseball game. His pet project as Minister of Public Works was renovating the nation's ballparks. Building highways and nuclear power plants was just drudgework that he slogged through so he could keep his position. Sports venues were what he actually cared about. It was his way of being part of the game even though his hereditary magic had prevented him from playing competitively. He threw a nasty curveball right into the catcher's glove, and the crowd loved it.

[Indusse]

Football coaches develop the knowledge, techniques and motivation of football teams and players
Football coaches are essential to a team, specifically to a football team, because they are a patriarch and who the entire team admires and looks to for everything. Football coaching helps develop strategies and tactics for the team throughout the season. Some football coaches usually start at a lower lever before they better themselves for a higher level coaching position . Coaching involves countless amount of hours, training and development ,income, skills and most of all interest. Many view the potential of great coach as providing their players with the highest levels of guidance possible. From the outside people think that a great coach …show more content…
Football coaches develop the knowledge, techniques and motivation of football teams and players
Football coaches are essential to a team, specifically to a football team, because they are a patriarch and who the entire team admires and looks to for everything. Football coaching helps develop strategies and tactics for the team throughout the season. Some football coaches usually start at a lower lever before they better themselves for a higher level coaching position . Coaching involves countless amount of hours, training and development ,income, skills and most of all interest. Many view the potential of great coach as providing their players with the highest levels of guidance possible. From the outside people think that a great coach is great because they have all the knowledge and the ability to spot out your faults. There are a lot of qualities on how to be a football coach, and many responsibilities. These are the ability to be a good communicator, being open-minded, having fairness and equality, being patient , approachable, and being responsible and reliable. There are different types of coaches and they all have many different attributes about them. Some coaches have better knowledge and they have the fundamentals to highlight and correct a players mistakes. Others may just have broad and extensive knowledge and may have a specialist area or topic that they excel within. The more experienced and superior the coach will be better at basics than novice coaches.

[Indusse]

EQUESTRIAN STATES   1-2.   INDUSSE

Indusse defeats equestrian states the WCC president yesterday!!!

STARBLAYDIA WAS DEFEATED BY INDUSSE 
 at free republics Olympics

Nation names in Malayalam

ഇക്വസ്ട്രഇയാൻ  സ്റ്റേറ്റ്സ്  Equestrian states
ഇന്ടസ്സ് indusse
സ്റ്റർബ്ലായ്യ്‌ഡിയ starblaydia
ഗാരിഫ്യൂണിയ garifuniya
പ്രതാപ്ഗഢ് pratapgadh
വാളനൊര valanora
വിലിട്ട.  vilita
എരാമൻ eraman
ഭരണിൽ  baranil
സിനിയാദ്  Zeniyadh
ട്യൂറോറി turori
ക്രയ്ടിനിയ  Krytenia

[Jeruselem]

Dazza Dallas Stadium, after Jeruselem finally got a home win 3-1 against Libera Populum
Princess Katya and Kaz Sallad having drink to celebrate the win.

Katya: Home win! And a good one too!
Kaz: We needed that one, no more 0% record at home
Katya: Yes, this group is very tight. We can't afford to drop many more points as it is.
Kaz: We have Nova Anglicana and Main Nation Ministry on 20, with the same win-loss record. We are 3rd on 17 with two losses. Barunia are up to 4th on 13, 4 losses. Libera Populum 5th on 12 who we just beat today. Vakolicci Haven and Celeria on 11, Zwangzug on 11 and Joshenia on 10. And the last two
Katya: 10 points between 1st and 8th. I would say, it's gonna be a rough ride from here on.
Kaz: If we just double the points from half way, we'd be 3rd still. We're not doing enough

Katya: You'd better get ready for Mum's interview, because the halfway interview is a long and full of stats.
Kaz: I'm sure she'll mention our attrocious home record so far
Katya: I'm sure auntie Chloe already mentioned that to you
Kaz: But a 5-2-2 record with 1 home win isn't exactly terrible
Katya: Yeah but five games at home for five points isn't exactly totally productive
Kaz: True, we have room to improve on that

Katya: You look like you've been fighting with all those bandages on your arms
Kaz: Fighting skin cancers that is, had a lot cut out. And I suspect there's probably more lurking
Katya: You'd better cover up in the sun
Kaz: You can see why didn't do well as a player
Katya: We don't seem to have that kind of skin
Kaz: Oh, my Dad is like that. Clever man but he burns in the sun after 5 minutes.

Katya: What about the kids? Same problem?
Kaz: No, they avoided that problem. They are a lot better football players than me.
Katya: You just got all the dodgy genes hey
Kaz: Yeah, some sucker like me gets that. Good times. How is the tennis.
Katya: Eh, didn't make the final squad. I'll only get in if a few of them drop out.
Kaz: You're pretty good, well compared to idiots like me.

Katya: We're talking picking the best in the country, I'm too young to be that good.
Kaz: Keep trying girl, you're still young.
Katya: Don't worry, I'm persistently persistent in persisting you know.
Kaz: I just realised I've never done one these halftime interviews.
Katya: You never watched my aunt doing these?
Kaz: Yeah but she's a natural on TV and she's also OCD. Not me

Katya: Well, just a few things will be mentioned.
Kaz: Like what?
Katya: It goes like ... how we doing on the table, then discuss the prospects of ourselves and our immediate threats to us. Also our inability to score enough goals when it matters and letting in too many in some games. Then a brief chat about the other groups in the World Cup. Then you have pick who you think could be the top 2 for those groups. The performance of key players in the team and ones underperforming, as well as ones overperforming. The weaknesses shown during the 9 games and what we could do better. Noted patterns like our home form and away form being so different.
Kaz: Um, OK
Katya: And all that in an hour!
Kaz: I see you seem to know what to do.

Katya: Yeah, Mum's been training me. Well, my aunt Chloe as well.
Kaz: I know what you'll be doing when you're an adult
Katya: I love a good chat
Kaz: You're a talkative one

[Abanhfleft]

At least the next game proved to be a somewhat easier affair than that earlier game against Xemlice. Once again Locomotive Imgortur were at home, and this tine they were playing against the Fleftic Air Force. Not the actual whole Air Force itself, mind, but the football club originally established to give Abanhfleft's airmen an oportunity to play football during their downtime. There was a time when Locomotive would have been afraid to face a team like Fleftic Air Force. The Air Force Club used to be a powerhouse in Fleftic football, and because of their stringent rules that only actively serving members of the Air Force could play for the club it had used to be one of the big producers of homegrown talent for Abanhfleft. Now the current Air Force team were a shadow of what they used to be; teams no longer dreaded either their visit or going to Pilken to play them. The currents of modern football and Fleftic integration into UICA had seen to that.

Both The Imgortur Express and the Locomotive Imgortur Fans' Group were back in action at the North Side, singing their songs and occasionally popping their flares. The Express also put up a tifo before the match showing a diesel-electric locomotive engine shooting down a fighter jet with the Fleftic Air Force's roundel and football club logo using a trio of footballs. It was a pretty clear statement of what the fans wanted to see from their team.

And while the fans didn't see three goals in the game, they still saw three points won in front of them. Coke Handu pounced on a mistake by Air Force goalkeeper Harvey Nix and stole the ball away from Nix, who also happened to be a technical sergeant in the actual Air Force. But there would be no backup to save the day for either Nix or the Air Force club while Coke stroked the ball into the back of the net.

Time then to go on to Sebet and face Sarvusdalamoive. Now this was a tougher proposition than Fleftic Air Force. Sarvusdalamoive, like Locomotive, were founding members of the Fleftic Premier League who were now on hard times. One massive difference between the two clubs though was that Sarvus had actually managed to win the Premier League once, in the 2009-10 season. Locomotive Imgortur could not claim to have won the league in their entire history, and really, they shouldn't be harboring title ambitions at all. Survival, after all, was the most important thing for Loco. Anything else beyond that was a bonus.

In any case, Locomotive really had to focus if they hoped to walk away from the Mohammad Darhan Arlan Stadium with all three points. Sarvus had two potent strikers in the form of Conrado Azucarrera and Edgardo Kaczmarski who could steer the ball into the goal nine times out of ten no matter where they were on the field. And if neither Kaczmarski nor Azucarrera could find the space they needed to score their goals, Sarvus had other offensive options, chief among them long-range shot aficionado Toumain Vincelot. Really, Locomotive should be worried about a goal coming from just about anywhere from the pitch when they come to play Sarvus; heck, even their goalkeeper could sometimes score the flukiest of goals, but sometimes the referees still give the goal because it didn't break the spirit of the game, whatever that means.

Come game day though, and Locomotive would not get a good start to the match. Edgardo Kaczmarski managed to get the drop on Redentor Queen and peeled away to score the opening goal barely five minutes in, meaning that Locomotive were now put into a situation where they would have to chase the game for 85 minutes at the most. That was always going to be a tough proposition no matter their opposition, but Klearchos Kazantzakis had a strange feeling going up against Sarvus this time. This really shouldn't be happening though. Locomotive were higher up in the table than Sarvus, and yet it was Loco who looked like they were scared out of their wits playing against the Pinks. Things just didn't compute.

At least things got better in the second half, or so it would seem. Aided by a very intense talk at half-time from Kazantzakis, Locomotive Imgortur locked down on defense and began playing a tighter formation. Their passes and plays were now also crisper and more carefully executed, and chances finally began opening for the Engineers, and Rhys Bustamante finally capitalized on one such opportunity by stealing the ball from Sarvus's Llamalean veteran Matthew Hull-Benson and went on a counterattack all on his own, and although Bustamante eventually had help in the form of his strike partner Coke Handu he decided to go on his own, and it turned out to be the correct decision as Bustamante slotted the ball past Ernest Meachum and into the bottom right corner. Kazantzakis's celebration to the goal must be seen to be believed.

And yet that wasn't the end of the story for Locomotive in Sebet. If it was then there was hardly any reason to devote much more time to it than necessary. It wasn't so much the manner in which Locomotive let the point slip from their grasp but matter in how they let it slip that was the really important thing. After drilling for so long and so hard about preventing Toumain Vincelot in getting into situations in which he could score from outside the box, it was one such Vincelot rocket in the fifth minute of added time that ended up costing Locomotive. Gilles van der Meijde, a 19-year-old defender raised from Locomotive's youth team into the first team's ranks, had been shown a yellow card almost as soon as he had come on due to his following to the letter his coach's instructions to stick to his man (in this case Toumain Vincelot) like white on rice, and the young defender was now understandably more cautious in getting close to his man, and that distance was what allowed Vincelot to cock back a leg and aim for the top right corner with great success. The image of Klearchos Kazantzakis about to tear out his hair would make the rounds around the Fleftic footballing world before the next meme came along.

It was a case of regrouping once they had made the long trip back to Imgortur. The next two games in Locomotive's schedule were not particularly intimidating or tough games: home against Fleftic Army FC and then an away trip to Paulsen FC. "Forget about what happened at Sarvus," Kazantzakis had told the team before they started their training and preparations for playing against the Army club. "That's in the past. There's nothing that we can do now to change it, except if anyone of you in here has a time machine they're not telling me about. But I highly doubt that. Now let's keep doing what we've been doing well, and let's learn about what we did wrong against Sarvus, and make sure that we don't do it again now that we're playing against Army." Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. The late loss against Sarvus was very painful and still seared in their minds, but they also knew that there was no time at all for them to dwell on it anymore.

Up against Fleftic Army FC and things went a little bit better for the Engineers than it did against Sarvus. Locomotive scored another early goal through Rhys Bustamante, and while Army had numerous chances to equalize (mostly through their main striker, Pridnestrovian import Isaak Avvakumov) this time Locomotive's defenses held firm. And it was pretty much the same story when Loco went out to visit Paulsen FC. The atmosphere at Paulsen's John Joseph Paulsen Stadium was very raucous; the home fans know absolutely well who they support and they are ready to yell to the high heavens who it is that they support. But Loco did their best to ignore the cheers and jeers of the Paulsen fans, as well as concentrate on the cheering and chanting of their own away support, and with twenty minutes left to play they were rewarded with a Melisizwe Afolayan goal, who headed in the corner kick from Navin Badakar.

But yet again there was to be some late drama. Paulsen have had their chances to score, and really they could have won this game much earlier if they had only taken said chances, but their profligacy in front of goal would end up costing them. By the time that a Paulsen player, namely their Fleftic under-21 international Wallis Walliams, had managed to stick the ball into the net, it would end up not counting because Walliams was offside when the ball fell to him. Locomotive Imgortur hung on for a 1-0 away win against Paulsen.

Yes, technically Locomotive Imgortur have had a great start to the current Premier League season. But it still had to be taken into account that they hadn't yet played any of the Fleftic "Top Six" teams, the teams that consistently fought for the title before Abanhfleft's integration into UICA. Now that was going to be a stern test, and they were coming up to those dates really fast.

[Savojarna]

Southeast Sameba, four years ago

Three days since they left their house at the edge of town at the break of dawn. Three days in which the men of the Gustav Karl Janssons Brigade were on the run from the Euran army. They tried to lie low, walking through the mostly destroyed towns in small groups. Between them, they had to hope. Nothing would be able to fool the Euran intelligence into thinking that forty men walking through the Sameban countryside were anything else than a bunch of soldiers, and then they had to pray that they wouldn’t recognise the fact that they definitely were not from here. So far, Halvorsen’s approach of walking as fast as they could to minimise the time exposed and praying to all the Gods there were to avoid being caught seemed to have worked. Clouds covered their walk for a large part, avoiding the lethal Euran airpower that was an omnipresent force in some of their minds.

At nine, they took a break in a destroyed village. There was a small restaurant or cafe, deserted but mostly intact, in which they found some food. Halvorsen sat down at the biggest table with some of his men. Rasmus Grön looked as serious as ever, almost stoically focused, as if he was pondering a particularly difficult question in an exam. Tore’s massive body was more tense than it used to be as he tore apart a loaf of bread they found in a cabinet, stale but without any mold. The tall man was no longer relaxed, but aware of the possible horrors of war. Helgi almost snatched the bread from his hands. The young soldier had joined the militia basically out of school and couldn’t wait to leave when they first headed to Sameba. Next to him, Arkismäki shook his head. He was a silent man, Sumani and blonde. Arkismäki was lean and short, not looking like a soldier at all, but he made it up with his brains. When he spoke, his voice was grating and machine-like, with a strong Finnish accent, but what he said was almost always true. A military veteran, keen observer and one of Halvorsen’s closest helpers.

Behind the little group, Kare Ullman had found the fridge. It worked, and there was some cheese and ham in it. A meal, better than what they had in the past three days. The village could only have been vacated recently. Halvorsen frowned. If the village had been vacated recently, he thought, there may still be presence. Probably Euran, but Sameban paramilitaries would not have been better. What if they were being observed? Betrayed? Jumped by local franc-tireurs? He called Vitalainen on the secured line that the general gave him before they left. The Savut man was not happy with their position. “You’re too slow. We can’t get you out in time from there, the Eurans are watching. We’re behind their lines. We’re not supposed to be here, Lauri. That’s YOUR job. We’re helping you, but we aren’t Gods”, he said on the other end of the line. At least they didn’t know anything about Euran missions in progress.

When the little troop left the house again, they stumbled across yet more fields. Suddenly, Rasmus stopped, almost making Ulman bump into him. “Vehicles! On the road to the West!”, he shouted, causing everyone to stop. Some stood still in fear. Some got almost giddy in hope. Halvorsen looked, together with Arkismäki, and saw that they didn’t move. They walked over, some of them putting their hands on the sports bags they were carrying or under their jackets, readying themselves to jump to cover or shoot as soon as possible. The vehicles were deserted and wrecked. Halvorsen’s expression darkened immediately. The EAF could still be present. But it was useless, they had to go on. Two more hours until their next break. It didn’t last long. Mikkelsen was not as young as Helgi, but also someone who joined the militia more or less during their education. A student volunteer like Rasmus, but not a high-minded philosopher, but an engineer. Practical thinker, useful for the team - Halvorsen liked the young boy. That’s why he immediately noticed when the usually collected soldier shrieked. “Drone! To the north. It must be flying quite low”, he said. Mikkelsen knew the drones of the different sides. This one was Euran. Halvorsen had seen it as well.

They immediately shortened their lunch break. Arkismäki took the lead, and Halvorsen himself joined his second-in-command, Ulrich Jensen, in the back. The sky cleared up, and the chatting among the men grew quieter. Then, it became a murmur. Tore thought that he had heard a sound, a low vroom. He froze momentarily, shivered and walked on. Then, the noise came back. This time, it was Arkismäki who heard it first. The Finn stopped immediately, and Helgi almost ran into him. Arkismäki knew immediately what was going on.
DUCK!”, he shouted, falling down onto the ground out of reflex. But there was nothing to duck into.

A second later, there was a hole in the ground. A hole with the leftovers of Arkismäki in it. Helgi Philipsson had been thrown up into the air grotesquely and laid over the edge of the hole. The man behind him laid on the ground, unmistakably dead. The jet had disappeared, leaving a gaping wound in the landscape and three dead Savojars. As the sound of a helicopter became audible, Halvorsen realised something. This wasn’t an attack meant to destroy them. It was supposed to stun the until the Euran troops arrived. “Run!”, he said, before he realised what was about to happen. “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES; BY ALL GODS!”, the leader of the troop shouted, untypically for him but driven by fear, as he ran for the closest ridge.

It was chaos as the Eurans arrived. Grön ran, stumbled, ran again. He fell into the hole and broke his arm, which would be his saving grace later on. Unable to raise his hands and aim at the Euran soldiers coming for him, he avoided being shot then and there. Ulman ran into the other direction at first, right into the arms of the helicopter. In panic, the stout Thorsborger shot at it as if it was an attacking bird. The adrenaline made him empty his entire rifle towards the helicopter, until the sounds of his old army rifle were overlaid by a dry staccato. The helicopter’s on-board cannons would be the last thing that Kare Ulman heard. Jensen had been standing in the back, closest to the helicopters. Ulman’s desperate stand had given him the time to run towards the ridge before the ridge disappeared. A missile from the heli had ripped it apart, throwing Jensen onto the ground and showering him in dirt and rocks. He landed on the ground hard, but was intact. Nevertheless, Ulrich Jensen had been in enough battles to know that fighting was no longer an option.

Halvorsen had been far enough behind the ridge to be shielded from the impact, only stumbling as the missile hit the ground. A rock narrowly missed his head, and the commander ran off over the next hill. Looking back, he saw that the helicopters had landed. He ran over the next hill as if he had a tiger behind him. Behind that hill, he saw a few bushes and trees where he could seek cover. Looking back, he saw that the helicopters had all landed. They were still watched, no doubt, but he’d have some time to figure out what to do next without being in immediate danger. Around twenty-five men were still with him. Three had gotten lost when the jet stroke. So, there were roughly ten more missing. Some must have died, some captured. His heart sank as he realised some were now lost in hostile territory, without any means of navigation to find their squad. They had to move on, though, or face the Euran Army.

Back on the plateau, Mikkelsen and Valdman had frozen in fear just as they jumped behind the ridge that no longer existed. The young engineer was close to taking the same exit as Ulman had just seconds before. He reached for the grenade in his pocket when he felt a thump on his lower arm that caused him to drop it. “NO!”, Valdman shouted at him. “We have no chance to fight them. Drop your weapons and pray”, he said and let go of his rifle. Mikkelsen followed the example and stood still, arms up, weapons on the ground, as the Euran soldiers left the helicopter and started to take their prisoners.

[Balqia]

The office was silent, Viktor had some sheets of paper in his hands, at the background a mute TV was playing Channel 1. The door opened in silence, Kruma and Primlid went to Andrec’s desk. Both sat and finally the assistant manager spoke:
-Hello Andrec. Why did you called us here?
Viktor raised his head, left the sheets above the desk and then looked to Ladislav. His eyes had deep dark circles, he had lost weight and most of his hair was lost.
-Kruma, Primlid… good.-He extended his hand to the TV control, and with the click of a button the sound of the television erupted through the room.
-Hello Balqia, my name is Leonidas Balkoviq and you are watching Sport Report. Today we have more bad news, the National Team was defeated again, but this time with the shameful score of 5-3. More informations with our contact in…-
The device was turned off. Andrec stared at both of them.
-Why?
Primlid responded to that with the voice of a child that just was caught eating cookies before dinner.
-We are in a wave of bad luck Viktor. I am trying, but it’s just impossible to do something, Darmend is in the top twenty. Our offensive in the begin of the match was...- he was abruptly interrupted by the head manager.
-I’ve saw the damn game.-He was almost yelling, but suddenly he rubbed his eyes he calmed his voice-I am sorry… look, the boys aren’t doing good enough. I beg you, please do something. Faj isn’t advancing enough, and Kalniq need to respond more quickly, when their forward...-he take a look at the sheet in his desk-Kr...ig Bla...Kraig Blekuud?! Scored that goal in the tenth minute… Kalniq spent too much time idle before moving, Balq was too slow to intercept him and Kalta didn’t even moved. Ah, when Faj advanced in the thirteenth minute he didn’t scored that goal because Rigo was too far away, and Kaesar was spending time in the middle trying to catch him. The forwards are unsynchronized, it’s up to you to change that. And do something about the middle, they are too slow. When that Feliks Lucanus made the second goal in the twentieth minute, Ptolq could’ve stopped him at the middle, but he wasted too much time. I think Kaesar...
-Calm down- If Primlid didn’t stop him Viktor would’ve spent the entire day pointing mistakes and flaws in the team’s structure. -These are minor mistakes, I know you are stressed because of the wave of bad luck but...
-Bad luck? BAD LUCK?- Andrec exploded -THIS IS NOT BAD LUCK, THIS IS PLAIN INCOMPETENCE. Primlid, your job was good in the Baptism of Fire, I admit that, but the World Cup is just a shame. Our medium ball possession along the cup was 45,3%, this is just mediocre. The team morale is so low that players are betting AGAINST the team, I caught Ozot and Erianiq discussing if we will suffer more or less than five goals in the next match. And don’t let me start on Kaesar getting a yellow card because he tried to punch the darmeni goalkeeper.
Primlid was serious, his face didn’t expressed any emotion, but his eyes sparked with rage. He got up and went to the door.
-I am done here.
Only Kruma was left in the room with Viktor. Both of them stared at each other, Ladislav got up and brought two cups of water. The manager drank it within seconds, his friend was reflecting on something when Andrec asked
-So, how’s life going?
-Down hill- Kruma smiled -I never thought that both of us will be discarded because of bad luck, I was thinking in leave the country with my family at the end of the cup, but if I try to do it now… Well, they got an eye in us.
-Damn Janus, I could kill him.-He analyzed the sheets-To the hell with this, five goals, five. These damn players can go to hell. I’ve seen horses that play better than this.
The assistant coach laughed nervously. He stared at the water and shook the cup lightly. So, do you think we have a chance to classify?
-Ha. No, only a miracle would made us win the next games. Maybe we have a chance in the harmony cup, but until then both of us will be in some cell waiting judgement for corruption and treason.
-You know, we surely will fall, but we could at least fall with some honour.-Kruma’s voice had a tone of malice. He was smiling, but his eyes exalted despair.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I know a lot of people, and some of my friends have some problems with Mr Janus. Maybe we could give them a helping hand if they gave us too.
Viktor understood were his friend was going with his reason, and that was surely an interesting card to have in hands.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

OOC: I'm skipping match reports for the time being to focus on the Grand Tour; these are so much more fun to write. Apologies for falling even further behind, but I don't want to halfass them just to get caught up.

Molvania, the general geography thereof, and the city names herein are the creation and property of Jet Lag Publishing and Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner, and Rob Sitch

A Grand Tour of the Confederacy

Molvania: The Rising East
Part 1: Sivolvia
Part 2: Han Dold
With the upcoming match against Sargossa taking place in Lutenblag, let's take a tour of the most populous state in the Confederacy: Molvania. While its history has been spent as the most downtrodden region in the Confederacy, and the constant butt of jokes, a new era of optimism seems to be dawning in Molvania.

Geography
Molvania is a much larger and more geographically diverse region than Han Dold, or even Sivolvia, and is itself divided into four provinces. In the southern province, where the cities of Svetranj and Slagvec can be found, the terrain is dominated by the Molvanian Alps, which form the border with eastern Algolia. The Alps, historically have been a region greatly exploited for mineral resources, and it is only very recently that government regulation has begun to slow the destruction of the environment here. Despite this, one can still find relatively pristine areas, if only by journeying very far from the cities. To the west, somewhat lower highlands lie along the border with Megabrantis. The heart of Molvanian wine country can be found here, though the industry is still recovering from former economic policies which dictated the bulldozing of vineyards to make room for collective farms growing food crops regardless of the suitability of the soil or climate. The cities of Sasava, Sjerezo, and Mukjus are located here, and perhaps by virtue of their closer connection to the rest of the Confederacy, tend to be a bit more diverse ethnically than most other cities in Molvania, excepting the capital. In the east, the terrain flattens into broad, semiarid plains, on which lie the cities of Bardjov, Lublova, and Dzrebo. Though extensively managed irrigation and modern farming techniques have allowed these cities to grow and thrive, in the far east, there are still some who live as seminomadic herders on the high steppe. This is the wildest and least integrated part of Molvania, and many of the stereotypes of strange dress and customs perpetuated throughout the rest of the Confederacy originate in the east. Finally, the heartland of the country is the Great Central Valley, where the capital, Lutenblag is located, along with the smaller cities of Gryrorik, Motensparg, and Jzerbo. The central valley is the breadbasket of the state, and has far higher population density than any other province. Once a severely polluted region due to unchecked industry fouling its rivers, reformist government has begun to turn things around, though it is still recommended that visitors refrain from drinking tap water in Lutenblag.

History
While the region that is Molvania today has been inhabited since prehistory, but the first reference to the current name dates from the early medieval era, when the head of the noble house Molvanskij crowned himself Prince Nikod I, claiming the rulership not only of Molvania, but of eastern Algolia, Flania, and Megabrantis as well. Nothing if not an ambitious man, Nikod attempted a simultaneous invasion of all three of his neighbors, with armies marching from each of Lutenblag's gates, the fact that it was the dead of winter notwithstanding. Unsurprisingly, these invasions were disasters, with the northern force turning back in the face of a howling Flanian blizzard, while the southern force met with similar difficulties try to cross the Alps. Nikod himself tumbled from a bridge narrow and drowned while leading the western force, and his soldiers decided to return home as well. With Nikod dead, Molvania, which had been united for approximately three months, promptly split into a collection of squabbling principalities and city states, which fiercely resisted the efforts of Nikod's surprisingly bloodthirsty son Fyodor to reunify the country despite the fact he was only 11 years old. Molvania would remain divided until a rather precocious communist revolution managed to take power by championing the rights of oppressed industrial workers a full two years before Molvania's first factory was constructed. In fact, Molvania took to communism so enthusiastically that they added a third symbol, the trowel, to the hammer and sickle on the red and yellow Molvanian "Tricolor." It was under this government that Molvania first participated in the World Cup, making two attempts at qualification before being invaded by Squornshelous, which had long since consolidated its hold on the rest of the Confederacy. Molvanian resistance was fierce at first, but they were hopelessly outclassed in equipment and training, and mass desertion of conscripts expected to go up against armored vehicles with single-shot, bolt-action rifles began after less than two weeks of fighting. In a direct about face from their pre-war bluster, the government, almost to a man turned collaborationist, and the end result was that very little changed for ordinary Molvanians apart from the addition of the Squornshelan sunburst to flagpoles. Molvania during the civil war was quite the opposite. Due to its rich mineral resources, Molvania saw a large Imperial presence, and was one of the major battlefields. The local government maintained its close alliance with the Imperium, and was subject to a brutal purge in the few weeks of anarchy that followed the Imperial withdrawal, and preceded the accession of the current republic.

Culture
Family is central to Molvanian culture, and while many Molvanians today live in cities, the tradition of an entire extended family living under on roof on their farmhold deeply informs customs. Molvanian language is remarkable in that it has distinct, one-word terms to describe fairly distant relations, with prefixes and suffixes being added to denote generations of separation, or second and third cousins. Molvanians can therefore succinctly describe their exact relation to every member of their clan. This is important, because family hierarchy is based on generations, rather than on age. Thus, it is not unusual for a Molvanian to use the formal mode of address young children who happen to be further up on other branches of their family tree. Visitors to Molvania should definitely consider purchasing a phonetic phrasebook, as Molvanian is a difficult language to learn, and everyday speech is rife with untranslatable idioms. Molvanian food, stereotypically speaking, is heavy on gravy and light on edible ingredients. More insensitive representations have depicted Molvanians eating anything from stewed calf's nose to literal mud. The reality of Molvanian cuisine is somewhat different. The variety of meats consumed is indeed broad, but the cuts used will be recognizable, and the state has a particular specialty of cured and smoked hams that are greatly sought after in Confederate restaurants (though confusingly often marketed as "Algolian Ham"). The gravy part is true though. Visitors should use caution when ordering a house salad, as it usually comes drenched in chicken gravy with giblets instead of vinaigrette. Molvanian music still lives in the shadow of late pop star Zladko "ZLAD!" Vladcik, whose hits like "Elektronik - Supersonik" and "I am the Anti-Pope" dominated Molvanian radio for decades. Football is by far the favorite sport in Molvania, and clubs of all sizes are ubiquitous. The state contributes a very large number of players to the national team, with the starting lineup including six Molvanians.

Getting There and Getting Around
Under the communist government, Molvania installed a fairly comprehensive rail system connecting the main cities of the country, as well as extensive light rail in the capital. Unfortunately, those systems have remained untouched by modernization and refurbishment efforts since that time. While it is still theoretically possible to travel by rail, in practice it is essential to have a car. Infrastructure improvements are a main priority for the current government, but the herculean nature of the task means that roads and railways in many areas of the country are badly deteriorated. Lutenblag itself is in better shape, and four wheel drive vehicles are not necessary to travel the capital's roads, as they are in some far-flung regions of Molvania. As far as getting into the country, Lutenblag's airport is the gateway to the region, and has drastically improved its lost luggage number in recent years.

[Filindostan]

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NATIONAL | BUSINESS | PROVINCIAL | INTERNATIONAL | SPORTS | ENTERTAINMENT | SPORTS PORTAL

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FOOTBALL: WORLD CUP 82 QUALIFIERS
Pula Garuda back on hunt for World Cup Finals spot with 5th win in a row

SAN MARCO - Who would have thought that five matches ago, Filindostan was languishing at the bottom of the Group 14 table having failed to win over all of the group contenders?

Upon arriving to the halfway point of the campaign, Ethel Toh's Pula Garuda squad have made it five wins of five since the Filindostan Football Federation board member arrived and decided to alter the composition of the squad, a move deemed very risky by pundits and fans alike. After announcing recent call-ups to be given a chance to don the national colors and represent the nation in the World Cup 82 qualifiers, the Filindos registered their fourth win of the campaign, thanks to a late goal by Ivan Deddy Lie to break Britaen hearts of snatching two points away from the Esportivan nation and keep the winning streak alive. The new-look forward partnership of Seto Tuhuteru and Kris Soegijapranata produced goals from either of the forwards, with two goals conceded by newly-capped international, Abner Sitohang. In actuality, all of the starting players of the Pula Garuda were all new call-ups.

The manager though reverted to her possibly the strongest lineup in her squad when the Filindos hosted The Sherpa Empire in San Marco, and Ina wasted no time threatening the opposite goal guarded by Sarang Lotsawa, which she were able to break twenty-eight minutes after the opening whistle has sounded. Thirteen minutes later, she was able to dazzle through opposing defenders and score another past Lotsawa to double Filindostan's lead at 2-0.

The Sherpa Empire though fought back and levelled the proceedings at 2-2, after Ilyas Song scored a wonderful goal past Abram Jampang two minutes after the Perokojak forward had scored her second goal. Shubhashish Srihatta completed the comeback eight minutes into the second half, and it was anybody's game from that point on. Ina though, was unstoppable, and she ensured to go home with the match ball when she scored another goal, this time through a direct free kick at 66 minutes. The competition was still fierce, though not much yellow cards were shown in the last few minutes. The Sherpas tried to go for a last gasp equalizer in a free kick, sending players forward, but a crucial interception that led to a blitzkrieg of a counter-attack led the ball to be fed to Ina, and the forward ended the proceedings at 4-2.

The real challenges are yet to come...

It was the first stern test of interim manager Ethel Toh, after she put radical changes to the philosophy, and the identity of the Pula Garudas. Gone were the iconic players of the Filindos, such as Bochog, King, Yakob, Damaris, Casimir, and especially, the Empress of Defence, Dina Satyawan, and younger and hungrier players were put into the squad in their place. The risk seems to pay off at the start, as Filindostan were able to beat lower ranked sides, including their latest win over the #105 team in the multiverse, but as the next round of matches coming up, the challenges gets harder for the Filindos. After the mid qualifying break, they host Starblaydia, and Polkopia at the National Stadium, having drawn and lost to these teams respectively, and with only six points now separate Group 14 leaders Cassadaigua, and the trio of Polkopia, Filindostan, and Starblaydia, the next set of matches will be crucial for all the teams involved, and the result of these matches will determine Toh's fate whether the interim tag will be removed, or the FFF would have to look elsewhere to lead the Pula Garudas to their next international competition.

They would prepare for these matches though, travelling to Dwile to face the World Cup co-hosts, but as of this writing, the Pula Garudas are being annihilated by them, with the score being 5-1 for the last ten minutes of the match.

Time can only tell if this year will be the Pula Garudas' year or they will have to wait another campaign to make it to the World Cup Finals for the first time.

Written by FSNA Staff.

Britaen 2–3 Filindostan
Undisclosed location, Britaen
Scorers: Britaen penalty taker 32', Britaen forward 77' :: Seto 13', Kris 39', Deddy Lie 85'
FID Lineup: Abner (6.5) -- Claudius (5.5), Esther Marbun (6.5), Kadek (7), Chanchan (6) -- Shiloh (7), Deddy Lie (8), Eybie (7), Ryan (6.5) -- Seto (7), Kris (6)
Substitutions: Edna (6) for Eybie (65'), Buknoy (6.5) for Esther Marbun (71'), Rai Sanada (-) for Kris (89')

Filindostan 4–2 The Sherpa Empire
Filindostan National Stadium, San Marco, Filindostan
Scorers: Ina 28', 41', 66', 90+2' :: Song 43', Srihatta 54'
FID Lineup: Abram (7) -- Graci (6.5), Johnpaul (7.5), Buknoy [c] (6), Dwi (6.5) -- Shiloh (7.5), Deddy Lie (6.5), Mordecai (8), Bilhah (7) -- Bienvenido (6.5), Ina (10)
Substitutions: Kadek (7.5) for Buknoy (50'), Casanova (7) for Deddy Lie (68'), Seto (-) for Bienvenido (87')

Schedule - WC82Q including friendlies
PQF1: at Equstrian States - Cloudsdale (Sky-High Coliseum) - Draw, 5-5
PQF2: vs Qusmo - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium) - Win, 1-0
PQF3: at New Lusitania - Leiria (Estádio Dom Dinis) - Loss, 1-2
MD01: at Starblaydia - Jhanna (Stadii Di Bradini) - Draw, 1-1
MD02: at Polkopia - Peeto (Marshupov Arena) - Loss, 3-5
MD03: vs Omerica - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium) - Loss, 3-4
MD04: at Cassadaigua - Concord Heights (Concord Heights Stadium) - Loss, 1-4
MD05: vs Abristan - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium) - Win, 3-1
MD06: at North Quadana - Undisclosed location in North Quadana - Win, 2-1
MD07: vs Tiiwark - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium) - Win, 2-0
MD08: at Britaen - Undisclosed location in Britaen - Win, 3-2
MD09: vs The Sherpa Empire - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium) - Win, 4-2
MQF1: at Apox - Dwile (The Garganaut) - Loss, 1-5
MD10: vs Starblaydia - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium)
MD11: vs Polkopia - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium)
MD12: at Omerica - Ville du 28 Mars (Stade de l’Indépendance)
MD13: vs Cassadaigua - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium)
MD14: at Abristan - Undisclosed location in Abristan
MD15: vs North Quadana - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium)
MD16: at Tiiwark - Undisclosed location in Tiiwark
MD17: vs Britaen - San Marco (Filindostan National Stadium)
MD18: at The Sherpa Empire - Changsha (Hunan Territorial People's Stadium)

[Qusmo]

This was originally supposed to be a Part II of the RP I released for Matchday Eight, but I didn’t have enough time to finish it then. It is inaccurate in light of Matchday Nine’s scores, but it illustrates how Cralt-Nirlo was thinking at the time - & his character more generally.

They put the paper down & smiled. They hadn’t been too optimistic since they got sacked, but Cralt-Nirlo Fox felt optimistic in a way they hadn’t since the World Cup. “Look at all these jobs opening up.”

It was true: there were a lot of national teams that were having serious discussions about sacking their manager. Some even had pulled the trigger. & a ship would need a new captain at the helm - & it just might be them.

Filindostan won’t last long before they start taking applications. They’ve already sacked their manager. Twilight Striker. They had had some good times with her. She had taught them a lot. They had been a team. But Cralt-Nirlo moved on to bigger & better things since being on the staff as an assistant for the second half of World Cup 80 Qualifiers & for Filindostan’s Cup of Harmony 72 quarterfinal run. &, from the recent results, it was lucky they had.

Filindostan had started off their qualifying campaign with a murderer’s row of a schedule. & they were slaughtered. When Twilight Striker had been sacked, she had earned only a single point from the team’s first four matches. With Cassadaigua & Polkopia each taking full points from their first four matches, Filindostan was already eleven points off pace for a qualification pace, after only four matches. That was the largest gap among all one hundred fifty teams which were in the qualifying campaign.

Filindostan had to make a change. It was understandable. & they did. & the caretaker even had a little success to start their run; they had gotten Filindostan back into the conversation, & they showed that there was potential in San Marco - something Cralt-Nirlo had already learned from their time there. But Ethel Toh was just an executive & a caretaker, & they’ve only faced minnows so far. Once they face the Sherpa Empire, Starblaydia, Polkopia, Omerica, & Cassadaigua in succession, things would look very different.

& wouldn’t the FFF love to welcome back their former assistant manager who increased Filindostan’s offensive production sevenfold after arriving midway through World Cup 80 Qualifying? Wouldn’t they want to welcome back the manager who had qualified for a World Cup, who had earned Qasden its first World Cup win, & who had started their national team career with Filindostan itself - & had such success?

& then there was Qusmo, Cralt-Nirlo’s own home. The stories there were well-documented. Avarn-Oxolt Ban had been decent before, when Fuzpon Qusma barely expected to ever win a match, but they hadn’t performed up to their expectations this cycle. Avarn-Oxolt could get Qusmo to be a middling team, but excellence was clearly beyond their grasp.

Cralt-Nirlo could help with that. Avarn-Oxolt had typically had a good defense - though even that was failing them now - but they were never able to have any sort of offensive success. & that is precisely what has kept the team from actually enjoying success when it has mattered. Whenever Qusmo faced the opponents that mattered, it failed. It got close to Polkopia in World Cup 81 Qualifying, but when it actually played the then-two-hundred-twenty-third-ranked team in the Multiverse, Qusmo could only collect a single point from their two matches. Qusmo could put away Juvencus in the Cup of Harmony 73 group stage, when Qusmo had already guaranteed advancement to the knockouts no matter the result; when they played Juvencus again in the semifinals, though - when it really mattered - they were defeated soundly.

Cralt-Nirlo was licking their lips at the opportunity. & an opportunity it would be. Rumour had it that Avarn-Oxolt needed a win against Saltstead on Matchday Nine to keep their job. They knew from practically every article they read, however, that Avarn-Oxolt had had thirteen opportunities to play top-thirty-two opposition in competitive matches before. Avarn-Oxolt looked closer into the numbers, & seven times - more than half - they had been unable to score. Qusmo had scored one goal four times & had scored two goals twice - & had never scored more than that. Cralt-Nirlo compared those records with Avarn-Oxolt’s competitive record against top-thirty-two teams: seven losses, four draws, & only two wins. It matched perfectly. & against Saltstead’s defense, the best in Group 11, what were the odds that Avarn-Oxolt could finally figure out how to run an offense?

So, once Avarn-Oxolt was sacked, who would Fuzpon Qusma turn to? Who would be their ideal candidate? Perhaps it would be a Qusmi, or at least someone who had managed in Pug Qusmyra & knew the player pool. Perhaps it would be someone who had experience with a national team setup, perhaps even as its manager. Perhaps it would be someone who could focus on resuscitating Qusmo’s struggling offense, & doing so by employing classic Qusma tactics would be even better yet. Perhaps it would be someone who had experience winning big matches against top-class opposition, like a three-nil win over Pasarga in World Cup Qualifying, or perhaps it would be someone who had experience leading a country to qualify for the World Cup or to achieve a nation’s first win in a World Cup match.

Cralt-Nirlo had been the first person Fuzpon Qusma had offered the job of Qusmo’s national team manager to. They hadn’t just been the first person Fuzpon Qusma had asked in their previous hiring process; they were the first person to ever get that offer. Cralt-Nirlo had turned them down then, but Fuzpon Qusma would surely come calling again, especially given what Cralt-Nirlo had achieved in the years since that first call. & perhaps, this time, they would say yes.

& if not, they could still stay in Rushmore by teaching Lev Repin & Mytanija how to really employ a deep-lying forward.

Yes, times were good for Cralt-Nirlo. They should talk to the board of Vermillion Rage now to get permission to manage both a national team & the club at the same time; the offers would surely be coming for Cralt-Nirlo.

& Cralt-Nirlo Fox would be ready when they did.

[Taeshan]

A big last matchday in the first half of World Cup qualifying for the Purple Knights as they made a road trip to Gladom Newion in a bid to keep pace with the group leaders Free Republics and Darmen. With both of them likely to get wins with home matches the Knights looked to not be put in an awkward position by failing to get their own needed 3 points at what seems to be an inferior opponent. Having not dropped a single point in a match not against the rest of the top 4, the Knights wished to make it through the last night of qualifying without doing so. With their only blemishes 8 lost points against the top 3, and without a single road dropped point they seemed set to make an impressive end to the first half of qualifying.

To say the Knights made an impressive final matchday battle foe for the home side would be an understatement. Xander McDrew threw out a more offensive lineup than usual with Alex Turniquette missing his first start in over a decade. While he would come on late to sure up the defense, the Knights went with a back three in a 3-4-3, with Miles Snavely taking the Captain's armband once more getting a rare start. That would prove a brilliant move from McDrew as Snavely scored an impressive hat trick against a rather defeated home side. The fourth goal would be a masterful Janson Jewsbury free kick that made it 4-0, and gave the Knights a steady 19 points from 9 matches. Putting them only a point off of qualifying. That said they face three sides that have already either defeated them or tied them, on the road in the second half of qualifying, so don't hold your collective breath.

[Cassadaigua]

To Mr. Dominic Lenski,

We are delighted to hear about Peak’n’Break’s interest in the city of Grande Mountain, and the naming of the stadium. Your previous endeavors have been brought to my attention, and I am happy that a company of yours is interested. I have one question for you at this time, and that is what are you expansion plans in to the Cassadagan market? How can consumers in not only Grande Mountain, but throughout Cassadaigua be assured of easily being able to access one of your delicious products? We otherwise feel that you would be a great sponsor, but everyone can agree on what makes a quality muffin.

Sincerely,
Liz Trafelski, Grande Mountain Stadium Business Relations President


We’ve hit a skid,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

The elephant in the room has spoken. After starting 4-0-0, Cassadaigua has only won two of their last five games. Fifteen points were possible in them, and only eight were earned. These should have been some of the more winnable games too, making you wonder if the team got a little over confident with the great start, which included winning in Starblaydia. Despite the struggles going into the midway point, Cassadaigua leads the group at 6-3-0. Let’s have a show of hands on how many feel confident on maintaining that advantage? I don’t see many. Because they still did salvage three draws and have not, technically, lost a match yet (a 1-1 draw against lowly Tiiwark in Concord Heights is a realistic loss), the Fillies have a three point lead over second place Polkopia, five over Filindostan, and six over Starblaydia.

In the same stretch where we are 2-3-0, Starblaydia is 2-2-1. So, unbelievably we have actually gained a point on them. Filindostan has responded well to their coaching change, and Polkopia is having a very Tinhampton-y look to their own campaign. (For readers who might not get that, that is a high compliment). Of course, even they are 1-3-1 in their last five. This may make some of their fans tell us to stop complaining about our own skid, but the fact of the matter is, teams are going to get this corrected. Which ones will do that first? Starblaydia, eventually may realize that the future can wait and they should focus more on their veterans then 19-year old phenoms. Of course, maybe the 19-year old phenom channels his inner Simeone Di Bradini, and carries the Purple on big winning streak. They’ve only allowed 10 goals in the nine games, so they have not gotten where they are because of their attack, they are there for their back end. That’s likely to change because they do play attacking soccer. Filindostan is a very concerning team here. They are lingering near the top, and you know what teams like that do. They get hot, and sneak in when no one is looking. They had a tough start, and have won five in a row. The next few matches for them will be key, obviously, since they will look to atone for their slower start.

It’s hard to find where the problem is. With 31 goals, and only 15 conceded, Cassadaigua’s +16 goal differential is one of the best in all of qualifying right now. They’ve won some games big, and that can help in the long run.


(Personal Record keeping below, to keep track of goal scorers)
Omerica 2–2 Cassadaigua (CDG Goals: Mayer 32', Ranucci 62')

Polkopia 2–2 Cassadaigua (CDG Goals: Pierce 16', Monroe 73')

Cassadaigua 5–3 Abristan (CDG Goals: Mayer 9', Mattison 24', Martin 29', Crocker 52', Schanke 60')

North Quadana 1–5 Cassadaigua (CDG Goals: Ranucci 15', Mattison 34', Pierce 59', Schanke 73', Brenner 85')

Cassadaigua 1–1 Tiiwark (CDG Goals: Martin 66')

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Oh; Lo!; Oho...
By The Stentorian (Holy Empire World Cup 82)

Oh! Oh! Oh!
'Tis True that Eastfield Lodge is a civilised land
This I do declaim,
I declaim!
I declaim!
I declaim!
This I do declaim

For 'tis true
We gathered at the Imperial Hippodrome
To have civilised discourse between
The two sides
And sip upon cups of tea.

And Eastfield Lodge do sip upon
Cups of tea
In a most pleasing manner.

Lo!
(And note that, unlike Oh!, I only say 'Lo!' once)
I doth proclaim
I proclaim!
I proclaim!
I proclaim!
I doth proclaim

That this is likely the only time
That I'll ever write
'Werdickley Safadão'
In a poem.

Given that he scored two equalisers
Against us
This is probably no bad thing.
But I do rather like writing
'Werdickley Safadão'
'Tis an aesthetically pleasing name.

Oho... Oho... Oho...
Hath complacency gripped our proud team
I shall disdain
I disdain!
I disdain!
I disdain!
I shall disdain

To give these foul rumours force.
But, realistically,
If you take the lead twice at home
And you're the top seed in the group
And you've won the Cup four times
You shouldn't be surrendering the lead
Should you?
Not to mention twice.

So Oh; Lo!; Oho...
Hear me declaim, proclaim, disdain...
I am the Stentorian
Who twice set up the Limerick Writer
To score goals
Only to see Werdickley Safadão
Twice restore the tie.

But I hath forgiven Safadão
For he has an aesthetically pleasing name
And his teammates are most civilised.
And Eastfield Lodge do sip upon
Cups of tea
In a most pleasing manner.

[Zwangzug]

Dear Ms. Trafelski,

We would hope to expand into Cassadaigua via food courts at college campuses. Students in your nation surely need nourishing carbohydrates at all hours of the day, and we hope to be an affordable and accessible alternative to dining halls. If this is successful, our next step would be to add branches near train and bus stations in large commuter cities.

Best,
Dominic Lenski

The Kerlagrad Courier
Tsereteli remains employed

Halfway through the World Cup qualifiers, and national teams around the world are engaging in an ancient and glorious tradition; dismissing their managers for perceived underperformance. Filindostan has fired Twilight Striker. Krytenia showed Valrauncion the door. Mytanija's boss is on notice. And so on.

We here at the Kerlagrad Courier have an important question: When will Makvala Tsereteli's name be tossed around casually like that?

Oh, we don't mean to imply she's doing a poor job in this moment. Yes, defeat to Main Nation Ministry was frustrating, but Zwangzug have had some fine results in this qualifying stage. Indeed, as seventh seeds, they sit right where one would expect.

But at some point, we get jealous of countries that have enough interest in football to dismiss people for underachieving. Can't we have standards, too? Beyond "be a law-abiding sentient being with knowledge of football?" No wonder we have the reputation of being pushovers--if we can't send strongly-worded letters to our coaches, how is the rest of the world going to take us seriously? It's time to get ominous. It's time to briefly pretend Tsereteli could get sent somewhere else after other countries' shufflings. It's time to...all right, maybe not actually come up with the names of the rest of the league managers, that sounds like effort.

I know some of our critics will point out that no individual, or nation, ought to expect success. To which we say; that is quite true. We do not sling around cliches about firing Tsereteli in the confidence that a later manager will do any better with the material they might have to work with. Nor should we get complacent and believe that our long history makes us entitled to do better than any other seventh seeds. Rather, we seek to form virtual torch-wielding mobs for the thrill of pointing fingers at a scapegoat, which is a joy we can all get behind.

[Audioslavia]

Yippy-ay-yay M**********rs

A look around the groups at the halfway stage of qualifying, set to the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky

Brenecians invited all to Kingsgarden one day
To watch them play their visitors, the people known as HUE
Now Wheeler and Szubanski, they often shot to kill
HUElavia knew better as
They beat them one to nil

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Elsewhere in Audioslavia, Wilf Lidgley has a plan
From Eura to Darkmania to TigerSharkistan
He’ll meme them all with images from 2009
The only tricky part is how
To carry all these limes?

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

From Brusseldorf and Sulsuland and Quakmybush they came
To fluster San Regada in a string of football games
Up at the top His Holiness is doing what he can
But his poets keep on writing shit
That doesn’t fucking scan

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Clad in blue and scarlet, they’ve nicknamed themselves The Suns
In the fourth group they’re the favourites, their seeding's number one
“Barunia will conquer all” they proudly did proclaim
And duly hit position nine
After only seven games

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

The Power of the Bongo, it continues to remain
In spite of taking two defeats to Ko-oren and Ethane
As the scorinator’s passed to Valanora and Mriin
They sit atop on 21
While Ko-oren have 18

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Group the sixth, we’re not impressed, we’re calling you a cab
We asked you all for football, but you gave us all Adab
One team says ‘we are at the top’, another says ‘we’re not’
Another eyes The Macabees
And mutters ‘Bumbaclot!’

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

“We’ll finish what we started”, the Squornshelan Remnant states,
He supports the Black and Reds with his Squornshelan Remnant mates
Their fatherland, they have a cup, way back in yesteryear
But then so have Brenecia
and so have Crystalikere

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

In yesteryear, Osarius, they won it back-to-back
But now it’s not just patience and an oblong pitch they lack
To Baranil, Zuiopien and others now they trail
The Firebird crash-landed
And was eaten by a snail

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—-

Nephara sit atop the group, they’ve won all nine of nine
They’ve beaten Pridnestrovia, Blaneu and Walenstein
Eight of them rose up to fight and eight of them were floored
One further team was so fed up
They even left Discord

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Olastor, Cosneolta and Turori have a Flaw
The football that in Migli’s played, it really is a Bohr
Kelssek and Kita-Hinode, they are well beyond their primes
I fell asleep at Alanikka
At least ninety-five times.

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—-

The Mytanars are menacing, they deal with defeat
By drinking pints of Lagerbeer and fighting in the street
Velestria, contrarily, they have a different tilt
They travel back to Hartford Park
And go dancing in their kilts

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Some say Mriin’s a brony, but they couldn’t be more wrong
Their football team are Satyrs now, their winning streak is long
Alas, they’re still in second place, they’re sat behind the Farf
A team they’ve all respected
Back since they were a calf

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—-

Some say that Helmet Vilkaus is the greatest man alive
He warned of his Vilitan threats in 2005
But that they’re now the champions is neither here nor there
They’re barely better at this game
Than Competitive Solitaire

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

Starblaydia were confident, Starblaydia were cool
Until the Dagans came to town and kicked them off their stool
The violet ones are panicked now, they’re running out of time
They’ll need a bloody Sherpa now
To navigate this climb

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

—

They call themselves Indusse and they’re never giving up
They’ve won against Equestria, and now they’ll win the cup
Krytenia, on blue alert, they too had to relent
The winners of group fifteen will be:
…show more content…

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay
We all only just halfway

[Omerica]

blogdefootball.co.or
All the football news that's fit to print!

---

What ever happened to the magic?
By Rokus Sneyders

The Northern Times hailed it as an example of “the Independent Associations Championship’s power to turn minnows into monsters.” La Romainbourgeoise proclaimed it “the greatest moment in Omerican footballing history.” La Travailliste celebrated it as “the rebirth of Omerican football.” The National called it “[t]he nation’s return to grace”.

Despite losing on penalties to Drawkland, the IAC final was a golden moment for the Incorrigibles. After a history littered with controversy, tragedy, heartbreak and betrayal, these United Republics finally had a moment to cherish. We finally had a moment to celebrate. The Curse of Kilkenny is (arguably) broken. Omerica have medals from a major tournament. Anne-Sophie Groothuis finally proved herself a competent manager.

How fitting

The Incorrigibles—a team historically so bloody rotten that ediraf used trash cans as the basis for the team’s change strip—went as far as they could go and then some. Even an unlucky three-goal drubbing at the hands of Kavagrad in the group stage could not deflate the team. Wins over perennial World Cup contenders Free Republics and Baptism of Fire winners Beepee buoyed a campaign that could have easily been remember as a disaster in a parallel universe.

So where has the magic gone? Nine games in and Omerica have yet to notch their hundredth international win. The Incorrigibles sit closer to the bottom of the group than the top—both in terms of points and position—and are six points off the qualifying spots. The national team couldn’t even beat 242nd-ranked North Quadana in South Provence. The national team couldn’t even hold on to a win against unranked Britaen in the Seafoam Islands. Two seemingly easy home games, five points dropped in total.

Now I have a really simple explanation for all this and it may just blow your mind. Let me submit: the Incorrigibles did not make it to the final because they were good; the Incorrigibles made it to the final because they were lucky. Big teams like Mercedini, Tinhampton and Barunia sat in the other half of the draw; other potential bigwig opponents like Abanhfleft and Juvencus fell before they could even face Omerica. Hot Skitty on Wailord Action were hardly any kind of threat; psychic defenders or no psychic defenders, they would have been torn apart even by the current Starblaydia team. The Free Republics were playing with a second-string squad; on a normal day, they would have trashed us. The first two knockout games were against Beepee and Darkmania, who, while not bad, are certainly not Brenecia. And technically, under football’s statistical conventions, the Incorrigibles didn’t actually win their semifinal.

And as for the final, Omerica faced Drawkland, who appeared in and lost both of the last two finals ending by the same 3-1 margin. The Kick Corps had just come off a humiliating and humbling loss to Saltstead in the World Cup qualifying playoffs, handing them their first ever failed qualification campaign; even then, in all their actual finals appearances, they had never managed to advance out of the group stage. Yet somehow Omerica found the one way to lose a trophy to Drawkland—a team with a well-documented tendency to choke in high-stakes matches—by dragging the match all the way out to penalties, which Omerica have a long and illustrious history of failing at.

But perhaps more emblematic of Omerica’s true garbage-tier football was the match against Kavagrad. Then ranked exactly 100th in the world, the Redhearts were seeking to improve on their performances in the fifth IAC, where they were knocked out in the group stage and could have easily lost their nerve in what both teams knew what a crucial match. But they didn’t and it showed: it only took eighteen minutes for Kavagrad to take the lead and it only went up from there, ending 3-0 to the rank underdogs. The second half may have been a better performance for Omerica, but that doesn’t matter when you can’t score.

This really fits the paradigm of Omerican football: when we control our fate, we find a way to blow it, whereas when a good result happens, it’s always because of something out of our control. We didn’t have control over the IAC draw. We didn’t choose to have the Free Republics field a reserve team. We didn’t personally knock any major favourites—save the aforementioned Free Republics, who were not even playing a full-strength side to start with.

But we did allegedly start the Curse of Kilkenny by withdrawing from that seemingly ancient Cup of Harmony (the alleged part being the start of the curse, not the withdrawal). We stormed off the pitch in Burningham after calls didn’t go our way. We qualified for the first and thus far only time thanks to a Nepharim team bottling their last three qualifying games. Now we’ve decided that even if we defeat Sherpas or Filindostanis, we’re going to repeatedly throw away games that we need to be winning: North Quadana, Tiiwark, Britaen. It’s hardly any wonder we’re wallowing in sixth place.

So I guess there’s only one thing to say at this point: enjoy the trophy, Drawkland. Just remember that you’ve still never actually won a final. ◇

---

Uniting Omerican sport fans across the United Republics — blogdefootball: a proud member of the Gryphon Pride network

[Qusmo]

Thirty-two national teams shall play in each edition of the World Cup. Each World Cup shall be co-hosted by two nations, which shall automatically qualify for the World Cup. The thirty remaining teams shall be selected on the basis of their performance in World Cup Qualifying. World Cup Qualifying shall consist of a single double round robin group stage followed by a series of playoffs played on the basis of teams’ performances in prior qualifying rounds.

The teams to enter World Cup Qualifying shall be divided into sixteen groups of equal numbers. Each team shall play each other team within its group twice, including once in a match its representative football association shall host & once in a match its opponents’ respective representative football associations shall host. In no group stage match shall extra time or a penalty shootout be played. Three points shall be awarded for a win, one point shall be awarded for a draw, & no points shall be awarded for a loss.

Teams shall be ranked on the basis of points, with goal difference the first tiebreaker, followed by goals scored, then head-to-head record. After all scheduled matches have been played, a final ranking of each group shall be determined. The highest-ranked team in each group shall qualify to the World Cup. The second-highest-ranked team in each group shall advance to a Runners-Up Playoff. The third-highest-ranked team in each group shall be ranked amongst each other, & the first- through eighth-ranked teams which rank third-highest in each of their respective groups shall advance to an Elimination Playoff. All other teams which entered World Cup Qualifying shall be eliminated.

In each playoff, each team shall play against one other team. They shall play in two matches within a single playoff round, including once in a match its representative football association shall host & once in a match its opponent’s representative football association shall host. To determine playoff winners & playoff losers, teams shall be ranked on the basis of goals scored in the two matches played in the playoff, with away goals as a tiebreaker. Should the two teams be tied on both these criteria after the conclusion of the second match, an extra time period shall follow immediately thereafter, & the teams shall be ranked on the same criteria following the conclusion of extra time. Should the two teams still be tied on both these criteria after the conclusion of extra time, a penalty shootout shall be played, & the winner of this shootout shall win the playoff.

Sixteen teams shall play in the Runners-Up Playoff; the eight winners of their respective Runners-Up Playoffs shall qualify to the World Cup, & the eight losers of their respective Runners-Up Playoffs shall advance to the Final Playoff. Eight teams shall play in the Elimination Playoff; the four winners of their respective Elimination Playoffs shall advance to the Final Playoff, & the four losers of their respective Runners-Up Playoff shall be eliminated. Twelve teams shall play in the Final Playoff. Teams which were the third-highest-ranked in their respective groups shall not play another team which was third-highest-ranked in its respective group in the Final Playoff. The six winners of their respective Final Playoffs shall qualify to the World Cup, & the six losers of their respective Runners-Up Playoffs shall be eliminated.

Fuzpon Qusma proposes reforming & standardizing World Cup Qualifying

Fuzpon Qusma today announced sweeping changes to World Cup Qualifying which would improve World Cup Qualifying by extending an opportunity for in-form lower seeds & out-of-form higher seeds to qualify via a playoff while weighting group stage performance such that better performances are rewarded.

World Cup Qualifying would be split first into sixteen groups & then into a series of playoffs, with co-hosts getting two of the thirty-two spots available in the final tournament. Group winners would get the next sixteen, with fourteen more to be allocated via playoffs. First, group runners-up would play each other in the Runners-Up Playoff; the eight winners would qualify, while the eight losers would get a second chance in the Final Playoff. The top half of the third-place teams would play in a Elimination Playoff, with the four losers eliminated but the four winners advancing to the Final Playoff, where they would play group runners-up. The final six places in the World Cup would be allocated to the winners of this Final Playoff.

This new format being introduced by Fuzpon Qusma would combine the best of a group stage-only World Cup Qualifying format with a conventional playoff format featuring a group stage with the second- & third-place teams playing to qualify. Just like the playoff format, up to three teams from each group can be left in the tournament following the group stage; so, the pressure of a qualifying group of death can be alleviated by making it possible for three qualifiers to emerge from a single group, while weak groups could receive only one qualifier.

However, it will also ensure that group stage performance is strongly weighted. Group winners will have automatic spots in the World Cup. All group runners-up will get a spot in the playoff, needing only to win one of two playoff ties to advance. Teams which finish third in their groups will need to be among the top half of third place teams to be entered into a playoff & will have to win two consecutive playoff series, including one against a fellow third-place team & another against a second-place team.

This proposal would standardize all future World Cup Qualifying campaigns by creating opportunities for teams which are subjected to an especially difficult qualifying group to qualify & forcing teams from weaker groups to demonstrate their talent to qualify, all while providing significant incentives & rewards for teams to perform to their best in the group stages, ensuring every match of every stage has real value for teams which want to qualify for the World Cup & that we have the fairest World Cup Qualifying system which is feasibly possible. Fuzpon Qusma has submitted this proposal to the World Cup Committee for official consideration, & we look forward to its debate & eventual passage ... [Show more content]

Xilit-Xalan Den took off their glasses, looked down at their lap, & rubbed their temples. They sighed.

“Well?”

Den grasped for the right words. “Von - ” they paused, still searching. “What you have produced is… certainly very interesting-”

“Thank you, I-”

“I wasn’t finished, Von.” The two stared at each other for a few seconds. “Von, you’re nineteen years old. You’re an unpaid summer intern here. Someone who was your age when someone who was your age when someone who was your age when you were born had not even been conceived when the first World Cup Qualifying campaign happened. & you’re telling me that you think you know better than every person who’s ever come before you about how to do this?”

Dwada-Prant Von thought about this. “Yeah. I mean, you just have to look at the statement I’ve prepared to-”

“I’ve looked at the statement. I have to have read & reread that thing five times over. First off, I think this technology thing is broken. I clicked the ‘show more content’ button & it took away content; all that’s happened is that I can’t see that button & I can’t see two of the dots of the ellipsis in the end.”

“Yeah, so apparently our technology has a two thousand eight hundred automatic character limit, so it cut everything off after the two thousand eight hundredth character.”

“Okay, I get that, but it’s not showing me anything. What else did you write?”

“No, you’re seeing it. Look, let’s highlight all of this, & let’s word count it, & - yep, two thousand eighth hundred one characters precisely.”

Den looked at their computer silently for a moment. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“So you’re saying that instead of one full stop, the programme put in three full stops, three extra words, & a button.”

“Well, technically, it was an ellipsis, not three full stops, & the three extra words were the button-”

“Great. Lovely. Thank you. Much appreciated.” Den sighed again.

“Are you alright?”

“What?”

“It’s just, you’re breathing a little heavily.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You know what? That’s a perfectly understandable reaction. You’re not in tune with your breathing, with your body. You know, I know a great meditation for beginners course that I think could really help you out, get yourself centred & calm. Hate to budge in, but whatever you’re going through seems pretty stressful; I think it could really help you out.”

Den bit their tongue & gripped the edge of their desk. “No, thank you. Could you give me a minute to think this proposal over?”

“Of course.” Von didn’t move from their seat, or even uncross their legs.

“Alone?”

“Oh, of course. Thank you for taking this into consideration; it’s exciting, isn’t it?”

“Quite.”

&, with that, Dwada-Prant Von finally, gloriously, left. “Margaret Almighty. A fixed number of groups? A two-stage, three-part playoff? The same qualifying format, mandated every single time? Are they trying to make Fuzpon Qusma the laughingstock of the Multiverse?” They heard the sound of a notification from their email. “Ah, Ucyxi-Upuln Zev. At least they’ve got a head squarely on their shoulders.” They opened the email & read the title of the proposed press release: Fuzpon Qusma proposes that all future World Cup Qualifiers use the Casaran system

“WHAT THE-”

Group 11
Cosumar 5–1 Alluersia
Vartugia 1–3 Mytanija
Velestria 0–0 Kavagrad
Mattijana 0–1 Sajnur
Qusmo 2–0 Saltstead

   Group 11                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cosumar                          9    5   3   1    22    9  +13    18
 2 Saltstead                        9    5   3   1    13    7   +6    18
 3 Sajnur                           9    5   1   3    12   12    0    16
 4 Qusmo                            9    4   2   3    11   12   −1    14
 5 Kavagrad                         9    3   3   3    13   10   +3    12
 6 Mattijana                        9    3   2   4    15   15    0    11
 7 Velestria                        9    2   5   2     3    5   −2    11
 8 Alluersia                        9    2   3   4     8   14   −6     9
 9 Mytanija                         9    2   2   5    14   15   −1     8
10 Vartugia                         9    1   2   6    10   22  −12     5

Qusmo gets back in WC82Q hunt with vital half-ending win over Saltstead
Qusmo 2–0 Saltstead
Mastad Kolla, Kolle, Qusmo (cap. 60 000)

---

GK  Vanza-Jerat Gep
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
CB  Ozolx-Alfan Ixi
CB  Lynul-Savar Mal
57’ Zenon-Gerol Kal
DM  Jerat-Jonto Jan
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
AM  Gavax-Nenzi Abe
71’ Ilinx-Vulav Ixi
LM  Kynda-Sevet Pec
RM  Ilinx-Ibilx Tla
65’ Forzu-Ralox Kal
ST  Prant-Pertz Gor (79’)
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol (86’)

[The Sherpa Empire]

Danu was eating his lunch when another prisoner came up beside him and asked, "How do you know what Kai Qiang looks like?"

Danu began to explain that he was from another timeline where Kai Qiang was famous for stock car racing rather than terrorism. He was interrupted by the other prisoner grabbing him by the hair and slamming his face into the edge of the table. "Argh!" Danu cried.

"Try again," the attacker said. "How do you know Kai Qiang?" Danu tried to squirm free, but the other man had a strong grip.

"Hey, break it up!" a guard yelled from the side of the room. He strode toward them. Another guard heard the commotion and moved in from another direction.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW KAI QIANG???" Danu's attacker demanded again, shouting right in his ear.

The guards grabbed him and pulled him away before he could slam Danu into the table again. "Break it up!"

"You've crossed the wrong man!" the prisoner yelled as he was dragged away. "Kai Qiang is the avatar of Justice and the hero of the People! All his enemies will be struck down, his workers' paradise will be built on the ashes of your fascist Sherpa ethnostate, and we will water our crops with your blood!" His eyes gleamed with a quasi-religious zeal that rattled Danu to his core when their eyes met.

"Yeah, yeah," said the guards. "Enough commie talk."

Guilin:

Kai Qiang and Yuan Qiang had just spent the last hour or so tidying up their family shrine where both their parents were buried. They brought their children over to the graves and showed them how to leave an offering of incense. Yuan Qiang's son Wei Xing sort of understood what was going on, at least enough to feel proud of himself for putting the incense in the right place exactly how his mother asked. Kai Qiang's daughter Kami clearly had no idea what was happening or what she was supposed to do. She was too young to understand any of it. Kai Qiang set the incense in its place and scooped Kami up in his arms. "I've got a big race coming up this weekend; wish me luck," he whispered to the grave markers.

Somewhere in the suburbs of Ho Chi Minh City:

Kai Qiang's mother led him down into the basement under her house. "The guns are down here," she said. She pulled a cord dangling from the ceiling and a single incandescent light bulb flickered to life, illuminating a room with a dirt floor and exposed insulation spilling out of the walls. Several large crates were stacked around the room. Qiang walked over and opened one of the crates and random to see what was inside. He lifted out a Cassadagan machine gun and looked it over. He couldn't hold it properly with only one hand -- he'd lost his right arm when he skidded off a cliff in a high-speed car chase with the SS -- but everything looked right. He was happy with the gun. "Those are the ammo," his mother said, pointing to some other crates.

"Great," said Qiang. "Now we just have to figure out how to get these across the border."

[Indusse]

They call themselves Indusse and they’re never giving up
They’ve won against Equestria, and now they’ll win the cup
Krytenia, on blue alert, they too had to relent
The winners of group fifteen will be:
…show more content…

Yippy-ay yooooooooo
Yippy-ay yaaaaaaaay

reply to audioslavia:Audioslavia has done well and has always done well. we are giving audio its own malayalam spellingഔടിയോസ്ലാവിയ

[Kelssek]

“Right. Now turn around. Slowly. Hands where I can see them.”

Hannah and Gavin complied.

“Right. Who are you, then?”

A man wearing a shirt, tie, and a heavy outdoor jacket regarded them, his arms folded across his chest. Hannah very much doubted that a heavily armed tactical squad would show up to take them away at a snap of this man’s fingers, but it was the probability of such an outcome that his manner communicated which made her very reluctant to pick up the spray bottle of cleaning fluid and hurl it in his face.

“I work here,” she said eventually.

“And so do I, in fact, I am assistant operations manager, what is the meaning of this?” Gavin said, quickly, before he could change his mind.

The man took a heavy step towards Gavin, who flinched despite trying very hard not to. He held up an official-looking photo ID card. “Agent Samuel, National Security and Intelligence Directorate”.

“It just says ‘Government of Kelssek’ on it,” Hannah pointed out.

“Because the existence of the Directorate is classified information, and revealing its existence is a criminal offence,” snapped Samuel.

“Wait, but... you just...”

“I just what?”

“Oh.”

The sound of a bell ringing came from the counter. Someone was wanting a sandwich.

“You should go and see to that, ma’am. And remember,” Samuel mimed someone being handcuffed.

“You really think I'm going to tell a customer there's a dead body in the oven?” Hannah retorted.

“I've dealt with some idiots in my time.” said Samuel. The bell rang again, more insistently. Hannah put on her fake service smile and went out to the front.