World Cup 98 | RP thread

[The Martian Independent Republic]

Martian History: The War Without A Shot, Part 2
Three weeks later
"Sir, the people are rioting."
"Why?"
"I don't know, maybe because by cutting off the so-called 'rebels' you've caused massive food shortages?"
"Cut the snark, Jian. Don't we have food storages for this exact situation?"
"For three months! Not for an indefinite period of time! Besides, it's almost all algae. Tea?"
"So you're telling me that the reason why people are protesting is not because they can't get bread, but because they can't get cauliflower? And yes, I will have tea."
"Exactly. Now, I believe you have a speech to give."

Kenton stood at a podium and began to give his speech, both televised and to a jeering live audience.
"Citizens of Mars, the time is at hand to work for the greater good. We all must pitch in, and only through uni-"
A glob of algae hit Kenton in the face, he staggered back a few paces but stepped back up and continued with his speech.
"As I was saying, only through unity can Mars move forward. We have a great task bef-"
Shit. The audience weren't throwing algae anymore. They were throwing rocks, and shouting "Down with Kenton!" He rushed back inside.

"Why didn't you tell me they were violent, Jian?"
"I thought I said they were rioting."
"You said they were protesting!"
"No, that's what you said. I wondered why you didn't say anything with your trademark blustery bravado about it. Might've been that, might've been the tea. In any case, they-
"What do you mean, 'might've been the tea'?"
"You'll see. In any case they, won't stop until you're gone, one way or another. I see only one solution."
"I'm starting to worry this involves the tea..."
"For once in your life, you're right. Now, they want your head, so I'll just tell them you 'disappeared.' And you will disappear - but just to Tyrrenha. You'll be fine, you'll just leave your mark in history as Mars's worst leader in history."
"I'm not backing down! It's not the Kenton way! You can't stop me from doing waaa ii waaaaa..." Kenton's body slumped and his head hit the desk.
Jian loaded him into his personal shuttle and set the coordinates for Kenton's home in Tyrrhena base, luckily along a route not shut down. "One day you'll thank me, John."

[Pyazhnaya]

Struggles and Changes for Pyazhnaya: Two Losses and a New Beginning

Matchday 5: Pyazhnaya vs. Auprussia – A Wild 3-5 Loss
Pyazhnaya's journey in the World Cup qualifiers continued with a dramatic visit to the Parc d'Auprus in Auprussia. Known for their aggressive and risky 4-4-2 formation under coach Pierre Camanin, Auprussia were determined to exploit every opportunity. Pyazhnaya fielded a mixed lineup for this match, featuring both regulars and reserves, aiming to maintain freshness in their squad.

Starting XI Auprussia:
Goalkeeper: Morten Gallis
Defenders: Vitore Enetac, Prospierre Aregnac-Tignon, Mattigallou, Tenlon Rachaiglu
Midfielders: Martin Ivicer, Chandelique, Ingalcer "Payday" Pardau, Elmaire deu Cavaldraissaiy
Forwards: Perugignac, Miren Saloux-Chard

Starting XI Pyazhnaya:
Goalkeeper: Elisey Moroshkin
Defenders: Ayrat Bilyaletdinov, Stanislav Zubov, Vasily Aptekar, Marat Zakharchenko
Midfielders: Danila Terentyev (C), Dilyara Shaykhutdinova, Ilnara Meshcheryakova, Liliana Maksimushkina
Forwards: Maksimilian Kartashov, Danila Mukhametshin

Match Highlights
The match was off to an electrifying start as Auprussia’s Miren Saloux-Chard scored in the 6th minute with a perfectly timed header off a cross from Martin Ivicer. Pyazhnaya responded quickly, with Ilnara Meshcheryakova netting a stunning long-range goal in the 12th minute, bringing the score to 1-1. The audacity of Meshcheryakova’s strike—taken from well outside the box—left the Auprussian goalkeeper frozen, and Pyazhnayan fans erupted in celebration.

However, Auprussia’s relentless offensive approach soon overwhelmed Pyazhnaya’s defense. Ivicer restored the lead for Auprussia in the 28th minute with a clinical finish after a rapid counterattack. Pyazhnaya briefly seemed to gain a foothold when Shaykhutdinova converted a penalty in the 36th minute, levelling the score again. The penalty was awarded after Terentyev was brought down in the box, showcasing Pyazhnaya’s ability to exploit gaps in Auprussia’s high defensive line. But their joy was short-lived as Chandelique pounced on a defensive mix-up to make it 3-2 for Auprussia just before halftime.

The second half continued at a blistering pace. Saloux-Chard completed his brace in the 62nd minute with a superb volley, exploiting a gap in Pyazhnaya’s defense. Elmaire deu Cavaldraissaiy added a fifth goal for the hosts in the 75th minute, unleashing all of his technical prowess with a curling shot from the edge of the box. Despite a late strike from Terentyev, whose solo effort cut through Auprussia’s defence in the 82nd minute, Pyazhnaya fell short. The final whistle blew with the score at 5-3, marking a thrilling but disappointing outing for Pyazhnaya.

Post-Match Reactions
At the press conference, Pyazhnaya coach Aleksandr Zavrashin admitted, "Auprussia’s offensive style caught us off guard. We had moments of brilliance, but our defensive lapses cost us."

Team captain Terentyev added, "We fought hard, but good Lord, our defence was a mess. Sure, Auprussia's high press was very effective, but we cannot allow ourselves to fall apart like this again."

Fans were divided in their reactions, with some praising the team’s attacking display and others lamenting the defensive frailties that allowed Auprussia to dominate large portions of the match.

Matchday 6: Pyazhnaya vs. Edsmontik – Narrow 2-3 Defeat
Pyazhnaya’s next match was against Edsmontik at the brand-new and spectacular Touve Suberarenae. With a capacity crowd of over 100,000, the atmosphere was something truly outstanding. And Edsmontik, known for their disciplined yet dynamic play, came prepared against a reeling Pyazhnayan team that has been outstanding at home but an absolute catastrophe abroad.

Starting XI Edsmontik:
Goalkeeper: Recha der-Zyfragken
Defenders: Steus Kizani, Ivikt Javarkqa, Jerav Travdt, Jolsen Vikral
Midfielders: Kyv Wejikaj, Oddevre Zeukalmen, Maktholm Ghreksbvy
Wingers: Maven Recihkt, Seu Fotserr
Forward: Vioraad Reiovus

Starting XI Pyazhnaya:
Goalkeeper: Rinat Arkhangelsky
Defenders: Maya Shelepova, Zulfiga-Dilyana Tukhvatullina, Naira Akhatova, Olga Smekhova
Midfielders: Danila Terentyev (C), Dilyara Shaykhutdinova, Alexei Chernobrovin, Liliana Maksimushkina
Forwards: Maksimilian Kartashov, Alan Shikhranov

Match Highlights
Edsmontik opened the scoring in the 18th minute through Maven Recihkt, who capitalized on a defensive error when Tukhvatullina and Akhatova each thought the other had the ball secured. A poor clearance by Smekhova landed straight at Recihkt’s feet, and he made no mistake, slotting the ball past Arkhangelsky. Pyazhnaya equalized in the 32nd minute with a well-placed shot by Alan Shikhranov after a brilliant assist from Terentyev. The move began deep in Pyazhnaya’s half, with a clever one-two between Terentyev and Shaykhutdinova slicing through Edsmontik’s midfield.

Just before halftime, Edsmontik regained the lead with a stunning free-kick goal by Maktholm Ghreksbvy. The 25-yard strike curled beautifully into the top corner, leaving Arkhangelsky with no chance. The Pyazhnayan defense was visibly deflated as they headed into the break trailing 2-1.

In the second half, Edsmontik extended their lead to 3-1 thanks to a powerful strike by Vioraad Reiovus in the 58th minute. The goal came from a well-coordinated team move, showcasing Edsmontik’s ability to exploit space. Despite this setback, Pyazhnaya showed resilience. They pressed forward relentlessly, creating several chances. Shaykhutdinova pulled one back in the 85th minute, converting a penalty awarded after subbed-in Shafigullin was fouled in the box. The midfielder’s calm and precise finish gave Pyazhnaya a glimmer of hope, but Edsmontik’s defense held firm to secure the win.

Post-Match Reactions
Coach Zavrashin looked despondent after the match, saying, "It’s another tough loss. We need to regroup and find our rhythm. These games highlight our weaknesses, but also our potential."

Shikhranov, whose performance was one of the bright spots, reflected on the match: "We’re learning the hard way, but I really hope we’ll come back stronger. The support from our fans tonight was incredible, and we want to give them something to cheer about in the next matches."

Fans and analysts noted the improvement in Pyazhnaya’s attacking cohesion, though defensive errors remained a significant concern.

A New Chapter: Zavrashin Departs, A Fresh Start
Following the loss to Edsmontik, the Pyazhnayan Football Federation announced the dismissal of Aleksandr Zavrashin as head coach. Federation president Ivan Morozov addressed the media in a somber press conference.

"The World Cup qualifiers have not gone as planned," Morozov began. "While we acknowledge the hard work and dedication of Aleksandr Zavrashin, the results have not met our expectations. It is with a heavy heart that we have decided to make a change. We thank Coach Zavrashin for his service and wish him all the best in his future endeavors."

Morozov then introduced the new head coach, Viktor Alekseyev, a seasoned manager with a proven track record in domestic and international football. Alekseyev took to the podium with a calm demeanor, outlining his vision for the team.

"I am honored to take on this responsibility," Alekseyev said. "Pyazhnaya has immense potential, and I am committed to unlocking it. My focus will be on solidifying our defense, enhancing our tactical flexibility, and rebuilding a winning mentality. We have two crucial games coming up, and I will do everything in my power to prepare the team for success."

The announcement was met with cautious optimism from fans and analysts, many of whom believe Alekseyev’s pragmatic approach could be what Pyazhnaya needs to turn their campaign around.

Looking Ahead: Home Matches Against Cafu and Malaguay and Banija
Pyazhnaya’s next two fixtures will be at home, presenting an opportunity to regroup under new leadership. First up is Cafu and Malaguay, currently sitting seventh in Group 7 with one win and five losses. Cafu’s defensive struggles make them an ideal opponent for Pyazhnaya to regain confidence and momentum.

Following the Cafu match, Pyazhnaya will face a formidable challenge against group leaders Banija. With five wins and just one loss, Banija have been dominant in the qualifiers, including a commanding 4-1 victory over Pyazhnaya in their previous meeting. Alekseyev’s tactical acumen will be put to the test as he seeks to contain Banija’s high-powered attack.

Interestingly, Group 7 has yet to see a single draw after six matchdays, highlighting the competitive and unpredictable nature of this qualification campaign. Pyazhnaya will need to capitalize on their home advantage to stay in contention.

Building Team Spirit
Off the pitch, the team dynamics have seen a mix of camaraderie and tension. Terentyev and Shaykhutdinova have shown a strong partnership on the field, and rumours are becoming more and more concrete that they seem to be expanding this to off the field. We will keep an eye on potential updates on this.

Meanwhile, younger players like Chernobrovin and Kravtsov-Danilin have been bonding over late-night video game sessions, bringing some much-needed levity to the squad. "It’s important to keep the mood light, especially during tough times," Kravtsov-Danilin shared. "We’re all in this together."

With a new coach, upcoming home matches, and a renewed sense of purpose, Pyazhnaya’s journey in the World Cup qualifiers continues. The road ahead is challenging, but the team is determined to rise to the occasion.

[Vdara]

You’re looking good, but the fact is you’re lazy
But people love you ‘cause you’re funny and crazy

Matchday 5: Yuugria versus Vdara

Another painful away defeat had left a deeply bitter taste in Markos’ mouth. So much so, that when he tried to find the words to express his disappointment to the players, he couldn’t. Of course, he’d recently received an invoice from the Kamijiro FA - whose door he had less-than-gracefully removed from its hinges by using his foot - so any stadium damage was off the cards. Instead, he elected to cool off and suppress his anger, saving it to violently release later on in an email sent to the full squad. The email (censored, for the eyes of children and mormons) has been leaked:

From: markos@favdara.vd
To: Alessia <alarosa@favdara.vd> + 26 others
Subject: [redacted] Yuugria

Dear [redacted]s,

You are fortunate that I managed to contain myself following that [redacted] performance. However, barely any of you [redacted] managed to maintain a modicum of [redacted] decency. Let’s get one thing straight - every single [redacted] one of you [redacted] [redacted]s were a [redacted] embarrassment. In my twenty years of management I don’t ever think I’ve had a performance actually STOP me from losing my rag in-person. That’s how [redacted] angry I was. And yet, I was stunned - like a [redacted] in a [redacted] - and frankly you [redacted]s made me want to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] in my eyes and [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] pineapple. Thankfully, I am a changed man, and my dignity remains intact.

For our next match against Calgasia, I’m expecting nothing but your best behaviour. Lest I [redacted] explode.

Yours lovingly,
Markos Moustakakos
Manager
Vdaran FA

—————————————————————————————
NOTE: THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN SENT FROM AN FAVDARA ADDRESS, AND IS THUS CONFIDENTIAL. FAILURE TO RESPECT THIS WILL BE TREATED AS LEAKING, AND WILL BE TREATED AS SUCH

Naturally, the page news the day after was all about Markos and his pineapple, bringing yet more unwanted attention to the questions surrounding his future - the LAST thing he needed at this moment in time.

Matchday 6: Vdara versus Calgasia

VdarArena
Chania

All questions around Markos’ future seemed to disappear as soon as he stepped foot in the VdarArena - an unlikely cauldron of support in these trying times. A positive home record has its bonuses, which were both visible and audible in the crowd, as an inflatable pineapple was bounced from fan to fan and banners reading “FUCK YER DOOR” were just a few of the home faithful’s highlights. Would the players reciprocate? Wouldn’t they just. A first half hat-trick from an inspired Alessia La Rosa practically sealed her position as captain for another cycle, and any chances of a late scare were dispelled by yet another goal for Sophia Kyprianou, who shows no sign of stopping her appearances on the scoresheets.

Media Pen

As was typical, Markos was interviewed by several different media outlets for his thoughts on the game, as well as other things.

Telemachus Metrakis, Vai Sports
”Markos, another fantastic performance from the girls - is a regret of yours that the national team wasn’t always mixed-gender?”

Markos’ brows furrowed.

”It’s not a decision I was involved with, but when you see the way the girls are playing now, I’d have killed to have some of them when I was in goals! I mean, Katerina is one of the best defenders I’ve had the pleasure of coaching, Sophia has played like a woman possessed all cycle, and Alessia keeps justifying the decision to give her the armband - and that’s not to mention all the others who put in the hard yards on the pitch. So in a way, yes, and I’m delighted that as manager I had the privilege of introducing them to the lineup three cycles ago.”

Tolkien Nunsinz, Irakleio Informer
”You’ve come under some fire for your use of foul language towards your players. In addition, your destructive tendencies have angered some of your opponents. Has this tempted you at all to moderate your usage of it - as well as your temper?”

Markos smirked.

”Frankly, I couldn’t give a fffffudge what people think of my wording. It’s something I’ve always done, and I’m sticking with it as long as it gets results. If you want 100% cleanliness, go and pick up a kids book. As for the door, which I can tell you’re referring to, I will refer back to a sign that was shown in the crowd.”

His smirk grew wider.

”In fact, when they come here, we might just have to remove the doors - just in case. I’m sure nobody will mind.”

Joseph Cullen, The Disrespected Journal
”Just one game shy of the halfway mark, the team sit in third - can things be turned around?”

Markos remained stoic.

”Well, six games played means eight games remaining. Let’s not act like we’re on the brink here! Obviously the next few fixtures will be tough, but that’s the nature of football. We’ll aim to sort out our away form and move from there - and hopefully we’ll be right back at the forefront of things.”

[Drawkland]

PITTSENNAT, DRAWKLAND
The World Cup 98 qualifying campaign may not have been going well for the Kick Corps through the first 40% of the schedule, but that didn't stop the players from attempting to enjoy themselves while travelling to each match. So what if a historically great second half would be needed just to slip into a qualifying spot? The girls were in Pittsennat, back to the town where Sarah Arrowsword had spent much of her domestic career after her long stint at Whitehaven Triumph in Ceni. With the double home game window coming up, it was only natural that the immortal trio of the Kick Corps would head into town a day early so they could explore Sarah's old haunts. Nicole, of course, would return the favor when they traveled to Kayo next week.

Since moving to Brantisvogan FC, Sarah no longer lived in Pittsennat. A couple years before she transferred out, she did buy an apartment downtown that she'd rented out to friends and former teammates once she left. By good fortune, the latest tenant had been traded and moved out of Pittsennat the month before, and Sarah had been too lazy to find a new one with the World Cup going on.

"Why don't you have a property manager to handle that for you?" Nicole asked at the time.

"And have to split my profits? Hell no," Sarah responded. "Besides, you should be thanking me. I'm getting you out of paying for a hotel."

Indeed, there was still a basic assortment of furniture in the place, so Sarah, Cam, and Nicole camped out at Sarah's old apartment for the night. The following morning, the trio decided to go find a place for brunch.

"Oh, we've gotta hit this place called Brandy's. It's like one stop away on the streetcar, shouldn't be too long." Sarah's eyes glittered as the girls prepared to head out. "I'm pretty sure they've got bottomless mimosas before noon!"

"I'm more in the mood for coffee," Cam evaded quickly. "Any good coffeeshops?"

"Ugh, fine." Sarah pondered for a moment. "I think there's one two blocks away around the corner. We can just walk."

"Sounds great!" Nicole agreed.

A few minutes later, they were at ground level and heading down the Pittsennat sidewalk, Sarah in the lead. As they rounded the corner, they passed an open stand with some magazines, souvenirs, and trinkets available. There was a litany of things involving the World Cup, which made sense. After all, this upcoming match against Damukuni was only the second time the Kick Corps had ever been scheduled a match in Pittsennat. Fans of the local domestic team, the Reds, were stoked to have the Corps back in their home confines of Metal Mills Park. Despite its smaller size compared to most Drawkian metropolises, Pittsennat did have a solid soccer culture. It's honestly a surprise that the Kick Corps played there so infrequently.

"Oh, look at that," Cam said as one of the magazines on the rack caught her eye. "'A Guide to World Cup Qualifying.' I wonder what they've got in there."

"What is it?" Sarah asked.

"Seems to be a special edition of 'Pitt Weekly,'" Nicole found the same magazine Cam was looking at.

"Oh, that rag?" Sarah rolled her eyes. "It's just a shitty tabloid. Not worth wasting your time."

"I dunno, it's only a buck. It'll be nice to have something to read at brunch." Cam stepped to the counter to buy the copy.

"Your money," Sarah replied dryly.

Once that transaction was finished, the trio made quick work of the walk to the coffee shop, got their brunch orders in, and sat down. It was relatively busy, but it was clear that the tourist rush for the qualifying game hadn't yet arrived in earnest. There's a reason the girls came a few days before the rest of the team. They kept their conversation going, but while they sipped on their coffee, each girl went through their phone, or in Cam's case, her edition of Pitt Weekly.

"Oh, they've got little bios for most of the players on the roster." Cam wrinkled her nose. "And some creepy paparazzi shots included. 'Who will you see on the streets of Pittsennat this weekend? Don't miss your chance to meet a famous athlete!' Gross."

"I told you," Sarah shrugged.

"Oh, here's the one on you," Cam chuckled, seeing Sarah's entry come up. She read aloud for the benefit of the other two.

Sarah Arrowsword, one of the few mysterious undying members of the Corps, will certainly be out on the town. At 63 years old, she's not your typical bachelorette, though she still shows the same youthful sneer she's had since her debut for the Corps many years ago.

While Sarah's fellow immortals Cam Cross and Nicole Warren found love among the ranks of the Elite Eleven, some may wonder why Sarah herself hasn't shacked up with one of those unserious boys. It certainly can't be their propensity for imbibing large amounts of alcohol, as Sarah is right at home among such frivolities. One insider source suggests that Sarah may have a discreet fling with current Kick Corps staff and Elite Eleven member Nicholas Kingston, which would explain why the levelheaded Kingston has remained a mainstay of the Corps training team despite his teammates being given the boot cycles ago.

Still, Sarah has never been photographed in public with Kingston, which shows this supposed crush may be just that - an unreciprocated infatuation. Local bachelors who wish to press their luck with this imposing immortal may find their luck in a downtown pub, which Sarah has been known to frequent dating back to her days with the Reds. Our recommendation? Find the bar with the cheapest booze.

"I'm sorry, that was nasty," Cam immediately apologized once she finished reading the text. Sarah responded with some noise of absolute disgust.

"I'm afraid to see what they've written about us," Nicole muttered as she took a sip from her coffee.

"H-how would they even know about any of that?" Sarah sputtered, her cheeks getting a little flushed. "Okay, the drinking stuff I get, I was notorious in the bar scene around here for years. But the stuff about Nicholas? That's simply absurd! I mean, I'm not into the guy at all. I'm not sure where they'd get that idea, nor being so certain about it. What if he sees? This is ridicuous."

"There's no need to get defensive, Sarah." Cam shot the slightest grin in Nicole's direction. If anything, Sarah's outburst only proved the opposite of her point. "You said it yourself, this is just a crappy tabloid. They probably just looked at how we're dating Elite guys, and drew the obvious line to the only Elite member you have any supposed interaction with."

"Yeah, like the thing said, it's not like anybody's seen you two together in public, besides maybe with the rest of us all in a big group. Nobody else on the team's ever asked us about you two being an item, so I doubt any of them had loose lips to the press or left that into the grapevine." Nicole added encouragingly.

"It's obviously just stupid speculation. I mean we're the only ones who've ever even joked about it, and ..." Cam suddenly stopped, her eyes wide.

"And what?" Sarah asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Nicole, you don't think ..." Cam looked back to Nicole, face paling.

"Oh." Nicole suddenly understood. "Do you remember saying anything like that?"

"That was like a year ago, I don't know! Maybe?"

"What are you talking about?" Sarah demanded, folding her arms. "Last year? Was this at the IAC?"

"When we had that conversation in the hotel room," Nicole said quietly. "With that stupid keychain. We might've said something along those lines."

"Oh, so you were just talking about me?" Sarah glared. "Big high security risk going on, very important operation happening, but just spreading shit about me is perfectly onsides?"

"We didn't think anything of it," Cam replied quickly. "We had to make the conversation realistic. It's not like it was nasty gossip, we would've said the same thing teasingly if you were there."

"We could be overreacting anyhow." Nicole put her hand on Sarah's shoulder, trying to comfort her to no avail. "It's still incredibly likely it's some gross cutrate journalist taking a shot in the dark to drum up interest. It's been like a year since the whole keychain thing, there's no way whoever had it sat on this information for that long."

"Sure, sure." Sarah rolled her eyes. "Whatever, nobody reads that crap anyway."

"Do you think we should give that to the guys?" Cam asked earnestly. "I mean, if it really did come from our mystery stalker ... they'd want to look into it."

"Are you serious?" Sarah's cheeks flushed again. "And basically tell Nicholas directly that this has grain of truth to it? No way!"

"I thought you said you weren't into him," Nicole countered immediately. She couldn't help but grin slyly, but her face quickly melted back into a troubled expression. "Really though, we have to tell them. If it really is the worst, then we can't risk letting this slide away."

"I'll keep it on me, then." Cam rolled up the tabloid and stuck it in her handbag. "Jaxon will be here for the game, I'll give it to him then."

"Whatever it ends up being," Sarah's lip curled, "you both owe me big time."

"What do you want?" Nicole raised an eyebrow. "Set you up on a fake blind date with Nicholas?"

"I'm locking both of you in my apartment and throwing away the key."

[Omerica]

---

Stade Just-Cartier, Haut-Aven, Charlescourt
Pre-match, Matchday 6

---

“Something needs to change,” they said. “We’re not consistent enough,” they said. “We need a better defence,” they said.

Omerica and Abanhfleft met for the first time at the Emperor’s Cup in Flardania. In the quarterfinals at Liberté Park, Omerica held Abanhfleft to a 2–2 draw, only for Abanhfleft to break Omerican hearts from twelve yards out.

The last time Omerica and Abanhfleft in World Cup qualifying was when Bolton was still in primary school. In stark contrast to the 1–0 win at the Wanda Island Arena earlier in the campaign, it was a disastrous 4–2 home defeat that opened the door for Nephara—two points behind, but with a game in hand—to seal qualification, but fate had other plans. The Cormorants choked against Braxil and Omerica were ultimately able to do it on a wet day in Augusticinia, finally qualifying for the World Cup on the sixth attempt. Nephara went on to crush the Sword Bloke in the playoffs, scrape out of their group on goal difference and lift the World Cup for the first time. Omerica lost two games on the bounce to get grouped and the Omerican Football Federation collapsed not even two years later.

Omerica and Abanhfleft sides wouldn’t meet again until the IAC in the so-called “Free Republics”, where the Revolutionaries spanked the Incorrigibles 3–0. Despite their best efforts to get grouped for the third Championship running, the Incorrigibles squeaked into the knockout stage for the first time, only to be convincingly despatched by the Alpine Union. You wouldn’t have guessed at the time that it would not be the Revolutionaries who would make the finals of the next two Championships and win it at the Seven Stars.

It wouldn’t be until the two sides met at three straight Cups of Harmony that the Incorrigibles would reclaim the all-time upper hand on the Revolutionaries: the two sides drew 1–1 in their group stage encounter in Equestria, with Omerica sealing back-to-back last-16 wins over Abanhfleft in Mriin and Eastfield Lodge.

Nearly half a century after Omerica’s first trip to Abanhfleft, the Revolutionaries were determined to settle an ancient score and establish dominance. They emphatically succeeded. 3–0.

The Incorrigibles had started out the first two weeks with shock wins followed by utterly horrendous defensive performances. That was not quite the change Red was hoping for.

“Welcome to the dressing room,” Red began. “It’s great to have all of you here today.”

A couple of eyes rolled. This was the way it always began. It was getting rather old at this point.

“I know the last time we were in one of these rooms for a match, it didn’t go so well, but we can’t change the past. Today we have a chance to right the ship. And as you all know, if I didn’t trust you, we wouldn’t be here together right now. I’ll hand over to Charity for her to say a few words.”

Red wasn’t sure how well his words were received. Charity just seemed like the better people-manager than him. As she finished and handed back over to him, Red began to explain tactics for the day. Saying things needed refinement around the edges would’ve been an understatement, but a full-on reset would’ve been suicidal at this point. Refinement was what Red could do.

“So if we’re all ready,” the manager said as assuredly as he could possibly make himself, “‘Ome sweet ‘ome.”

---

Post-match

---

Red simply couldn’t hide it. The look on his face was pained. Sure, they’d won. They’d put five past the New Zhengguo keeper, but conceding twice? The press were not going to let him hear the end of this any time soon. This should have been the easiest week of the campaign so far and the Incorrigibles were determined to make it look difficult.

There was a smattering of celebration in the changing room. Every win was important, after all, but despite the seemingly jubilant mood, everyone could sense that something was wrong. Red had nothing to say. Withdrawing to a nearby room, he sat down and put his head in his hands.

“For fuck’s sake.”

---

★
United Republican Football Federation · Fédération des Républiques unies de football
1 Avenue des Révolutionnaires
Old Charlescourt CH · 62–L74 · Vieux Charlescourt CH
United Republics of Omerica · Républiques unies de l’Omerique

---

Eraman v Omerica
World Cup 98 qualifying group stage — Matchday Seven
Old Sample, Sampleville, Eraman
— and —
Katzeburg v Omerica
World Cup 98 qualifying group stage — Matchday Eight
Katzestadt Arena, Katzestadt, Katzeburg
Starting lineup (4–3–3): Lagadec (captain) — Celestijn · Laframboise · Trueworthy · Arteaga — Chaufourier · Corbinian · Monteil — George · Kalei · Kerautret
Substitutes: O’Shannon · Warren — Riley · Mayor · Pelletier · Toustain · Large — Adnet · Hamilton · Lawson · Massé — Glasscock · St Clair · John · Paixdecoeur

---

[Saint Eleanor]

Group of Six meeting (XLVII) --- SAINT ELEANOR 2-0 Carpathia and Ruthenia
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Graham Lawson [ballot]
Location: the National Liberation Club; Central district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

MAJOR MATCH EVENTS: Matsuda 36, Emmerson 65. All Eleanorians are now available following the service of Curran's suspension, although Barnett acquitted himself rather well. Acconci and Pék were particular irritances on the Carpathian side, but - one particularly disputed offside notwithstanding - nothing that couldn't be handled.

LESSONS LEARNED: "We should have been more daring" (~ Graham): a controversial opinion to have! It might not be an unwarranted one, either, given the fairly tepid and relatively close nature of the match: we caught a couple of lucky breaks (particularly in the second half: Acconci's narrow flagging-offside for what I supposed she imagined was a nailed-on goal; followed by Emmerson's almost-first-touch finish a few minutes afterwards).
There was a general consensus, even among those of us who thought that we struck the right balance today, that there was not enough action. This is not to say that the match was a time-wasting extravaganza, but it was certainly a case of "doing less with less" - not a particularly exciting development when part of our ethos should be efficiency, speed and consistent delivery.

RECOMMENDATIONS: See above - although, given that Paringo is at the foot of the table and unlikely to see much success any time soon, tomorrow might be a good time to loosen up the team and our strategy. "One night only!" (~ Cathy)

MOVING FORWARD: I imagine that the post-Paringo notes will be left to whoever is willing in the event of a win; most likely to one of my assistants if it doesn't quite go our way.

~GB

Keith Barnett: "We are definitely blessed with some beautiful things here, such as my wife"
Chief Football Correspondent Jamie Rodgers picks up more than a few insights from the Good Hope Club's latest prospect
Originally published on Tuesday 12th February 2013

Keith Barnett might not be your average fullback on first sight. "But then what has your average fullback been? Definitely crazier than me. Exandra Davies might be a legend but she's also a punk rocker. I keep my tastes strictly top-forty."

As with "just about everyone else in the Good Hope's history" - and certainly Davies herself - Barnett was a faithful student at the Trident Community School. "You say that, but I'd say I was wavering on both counts. Church is something I rarely go to, although I try to keep it in mind. Homework is something I always did, although I'm not sure how much further I took it beyond that. I was definitely more of a geography man than anything, and if you look at what I do in my spare time, you could argue I still am - we are definitely blessed with some beautiful things here, such as my wife." Did he make any other friends? "Depending on who you ask, no. I definitely talked to a few people, I care about them, but I am not the kind of person who goes to parties or does anything bloody stupid. Definitely in the football team, though. It was as diverse as you'd want, or expect, for a team in our area. I've asked about where all the black people are on the team - if more people watched our games, we'd be on proportional representation by now! That's four or five players? We've never had more than two at a time."

Barnett played a major part in Trident's Charles Trump Shield team of 2005, which swept its group stage and made it to the last sixteen before being eliminated in extra time by the Eleanorian Academy. "Those were two very, very good teams on both sides, although I have a nagging feeling I was the only one of them to have much of an impact. We went up first of all, but it was twenty minutes in and we all know how tough it can get when you have your 5pm kickoffs - even in the summer where the sun almost always shines. I got outpaced time and time again, and was lucky to have gotten a couple of tackles in during the first half. The clock kept on wearing down, I was doing better but not quite good enough, but started to do a bit more. Then they equalised, half an hour to go, which became another half-an-hour, and I thought to myself 'fine, let's get this over with.' Then they squirreled past us right when you'd least expect it and I gave up; it's a good job we didn't concede a third. Now, I wouldn't say this is an issue where we need shorter halves - we don't, the children need their exercise - but it is absolutely a case of making sure they practice enough, care enough about the team and everything. I always tried my best, but was it enough? Not always."

His second nomination would be an infamously valiant 2-1 defeat to Independence 1975 - the Academy's de-facto senior team - towards the end of the 2007 season. "Bobby [Robert Walter] had been getting on a bit in years, I was the new one, so Mary Kirkport - the boss, bless her - asked me to take command of the left for the following few games; given how big the teams were for us, she thought it would be best for me to get the experience in early. You have to understand that this was a good Indy team, as they all are, but not one I'd call vintage either: they got knocked out in the [Champions' League] groups and were literally fifth in the table when we arrived. Obviously, the team wasn't particularly excellent, but the individual parts - wow, then as now. You don't keep Newcastle, or Cidh or Kavvy [Kavezalea Felaraneta] or whoever, down in their place, not without a lot of help. Thankfully, we were pretty massed that day: all hands on deck, the odd free-kick or two, which is how we got our goal, then... just defending, constantly. Indy are pretty good at building up the play, leading us into surprise traps, and just running everyone up the wall, which is how they got two against us; they don't normally score unless it's absolutely necessary, which is a bit silly given how the team is these days. Lessons learned, though? Make sure you look out for everyone, don't be a bastard, know your stuff, and make sure you anticipate stuff. That's how I've gotten so good over the past five years or so."

The other standout match in Barnett's career would be a surprise 3-1 victory at Albion Road in 2009. "Derby Day is the most important day, or pair of days, in the world for anyone who cares even remotely about Dockside. The Grand Beach had the upper hand over us in 2008, but this year we were off to a good, positive start, nothing too surprising, obviously a win would keep everyone happy. Obviously my job was a bit easier on paper as Liz Harris isn't the most dangerous person you can imagine; Chrissy Fulton is a damn fine woman, the one person in that team I respect, but I doubted she'd get up too much once we started working. Around ten minutes into the match, nothing much was happening, so I broke from the plan, started moving around everywhere, pushing the ball to the free man and seeing what they do with it. We got one goal in, then another, and I felt like I could just float around, control the game, control the process and keep everyone happy. In the end, we earned a big win, people thought my performance was unusually good, a couple of voices were about saying I should be the captain, I worked the line a couple of more times and the only complaints after the fact weren't down to me. They went down to the second division at the end of it all, which is fucking hilarious for anyone who follows the footy, since they're a big club who sometimes do the bigger-than-thou thing."

Barnett would be the first to attest that "you just cannot hate anyone on the team, unless it's the manager and we're doing poorly - although, in this particular case, she's wonderful and doing excellently." However, he has been somewhat more reluctant to make friends than. "At the Good Hope Club, you come in, you know and immediately love everyone; it's in our blood as a community. But with the national team, there are lots of different backgrounds at play - not that I'd love to see more - lots of district cultures, so you have to put in the effort to really understand people. That's what I consider a friend to be. Tina Falconer is absolutely on the friend list. Bridget Coombe has done a very good job at onboarding, but she's thirteen years older than I am and we'll need a new captain soon enough; I'll count her in as an unofficial mentor in due course, I hope. Us babies are in short supply but Naclé (Öhân) and Rose (Carter), the other new arrivals, are also people I like to talk to; they aren't friends yet, but hopefully we can step in and provide the future newcomers with an excellent experience in the hundreds and maybe beyond."

On the whole, Keith Barnett might not be a name that gets any passions running - even among Grand Beach's most fervent fanatic. He is, however, someone with spades of experience, an eye for action, a strong awareness of the game, and a friendly - if occasionally detached - attitude overall. Typically Eleanorian, you might think, and you would be correct.

Group of Six meeting (XLVIII) --- Paringo 1-5 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Robby Ellis [ballot]
Location: Torch burger; Newbanks district, Saint Eleanor city, EXT

From the desk of ROBBY ELLIS:
- Definitely another average victory here (although Bridget says it's better than we normally plan for): all the team's in order, we know our stuff, we're getting the goals in and everyone is doing splendidly, not much to say beyond that
- Island Fusion could definitely be a bit of a surprise package, although they've been slipping in standards a bit lately
- Given the attack-minded setup, which hasn't been perfectly effective with that said... we are going to go a bit defensive for this one. Hollenberg in at CM, Key up front, Livingston in for Launceston at CB (who is good but willing to step down - I phoned her!)
- In summary - a 4-2-3-1, but open to turning into a 4-3-3-0 of sorts? if needs must, definitely limited positional shifting, everyone needs to stay focused
- Bridget will still be doing notes for IF, as promised

[Edsmontik]

streggvalkligges.eds
YOUR Edsmon Sports Hub

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6/20/2030

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EVENTS

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FDVL
FDVL CHAMPION: REICHAN DE-WALVARJ

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INTERNATIONAL
NSWC98Q MD5

Group 7

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Sargossa 1-4 Edsmontik @ Sargossa Home Stadium
Sargossa ST | M. Rehcikt (3'), V. Reiovus (18'), S. Fotserr (49'), K. Wejikaj (67')

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CHANNELS

WHAT FANS THINK: 4-1 WIN FOR THE EAGLES

Edsmontik secured a powerful 4-1 win over 30th ranked Sargossa.
Despite being a rotated team, with stars like Stuero on the bench, they still pulled through and won.
Players like Reiovus, Fotserr, and Wejikaj, who normally don't see action, got to have their part in the game.
We met with fans outside of the Sargossan home stadium to ask what they think about the win.

Fan 1: Honestly, it was cool. Can't believe that we actually won 4-1 instead of 2-0 or 2-1. Sargossa is a good team, after all. I'm glad for players like Fotserr and Reiovus who have mainly been overshadowed. They got their action, and deserved it.

Fan 2: The game was awesome, Beautifully placed passes and shots, if a single Edsmon player has a rating under 6.0, that would be weird. Everyone contributed, and the tactics worked out great against these Sargossans.

Fan 3: I would say one of the best performing players was undoubtedly Fotserr, filling in Stuero's role pretty well and made many contributions. I could see his match rating being an 8.0 or higher for this game.

We also spoke with Steus Kizani and Oddevre Zeukalmen to get their opinions on the game.

S. Kizani: We did great. Lots of strong movements in the back, and some of the tackles weren't very clean, but otherwise, beautiful performance from defense. der-Zyfragken got his first minutes, I'd say he surely deserves to stay for a while. Up front, almost no mistakes, everything was placed beautifully, and we got the four goals from that. This game was a great one.

O. Zeukalmen: Without the assistance and guidance from my good friend Darion, I would not have played as well as I did. So I just want to thank him for coaching me despite the chance that I would get no game time, and thanks in general to everyone that welcomed me to the national squad. For this game, we definitely had one of our best performances yet, and if we keep this up, we can hold our first place spot.

Edsmontik's win here has put them in first place, but at any minute, that can change. Banija is also sitting at 12 points, just slightly less in goal difference.
If the Edsmons want to top this group, they have to shove past Pyazhnaya with a strong victory.
Can they do that?
Well, it's something that we'll be seeing tomorrow, on ISN.

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6/21/2030

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EVENTS

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FDVL
FDVL CHAMPION: REICHAN DE-WALVARJ

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INTERNATIONAL
NSWC98Q MD6

Group 7

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Edsmontik 3-2 Pyazhnaya @ Touve Suberarenae
M. Rehcikt (18'), M. Ghreksbvy (43'), V. Reiovus (58') | A. Shikhranov (32'), D. Shaykhutdinova (85')

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CHANNELS
NONE

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Due to my limited writing time, next lineup is just the same as lineups for MD5-6

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

This is the MD7/8 cutoff

[Eraman]

i. The Crown Prince of Pasir
ii. Ultras Eraman

Chapter 3: The Golden Boy of Pasirpura

The plane touched down at Pasirpura International Airport just before the sun set, the sky was in a hues of orange and purple. Jebat Derhaka leaned back in his seat, exhausted after flying all over the world for international duty. Four matches in two weeks, an away win against Milchama, a narrow victory over Abanhfleft at home, a chaotic draw with New Zhengguo, and a humbling loss to Huayramarca. It was an emotional rollercoaster ride for the new national team's captain, testing his leadership on and off the pitch.

The wind from the Sripala Sea greeted him as he exited the airport. Pasirpura, dubbed as the pearl of Eraman, a paradise in the morning and a playground in the night. Some call it the Vice City, with bustling casinos and neon-lit red-light districts.

However, Jebat was not the type of person who indulged in such things. Still, Pasirpura is a place that he calls home, the place he was born and developed as a football player.

The next day, Jebat was back training with Royal Pasirpura. The familiar environment gave him some sort of calmness, a much needed one after the competitive schedule of the national team. One of his teammates welcomed him with a hearty shake and a smile.

“The Golden Boy of Pasirpura is back!” announced Arya, the team’s fiery midfielder, high fived Jebat.

Jebat chuckled though he was already in the mindset of the training that was to come. The team had just concluded a match in the Liga Eraman and there were key matches to come up in the season and the team’s performance was being watched with much anticipation.

Some minutes later, Jebat walked to the sideline and seated on it, he wiped the sweat from his face as he looked at the training ground. He could also feel the stress of being a captain, a captain of Royal Pasirpura Football Club and the national team.

“What's bothering you?” A voice came along. It was his center-back partner, Tupai Setiawan, a hard tackler who had been a very important part in Royal Pasirpura’s victories.

Jebat smiled faintly. “Just thinking about how we get here and how there is still a long way to go,” he said.

Tupai nodded and his face was not humorous. “It’s not just a team that you lead, Jebat. You are becoming an icon. For Pasirpura, for Eraman. It’s quite a burden to carry. ”

“I do,” Jebat answered, in a rather normal voice. “But I am ready for the task. ”

That evening, Jebat decided to take a walk along the beach front of Pasirpura and the moon light was shining on the sea. The city was almost alive behind him, but out here, on the edge of the water, it was rather serene.

He continued with his path to an old and rusted pier which he used to visit whenever he was a child. He seated on the edge of the structure and his feet hung over the water, the cool wind brushing against his shirt. There was history in the pier – family picnics, the dream of becoming a footballer, childhood before the burden.

He took out his phone and checked the photos that he had taken during the national team’s games in the past weeks. One captured his attention, it was a photo of the Ultras in Daulapura with people showing their passion. Jebat smiled. They were passionate and this is what made them play, what made them fight. Not for the limelight of Pasirpura or for the trophies.

_______________

Tun Sengalang Petara was in his private office, a room full of books, political materials and portraits of his ancestors. There was a television in the corner displaying Eraman’s match against Abanhfleft. He made himself a cup of herbal tea, his vision was unblurred, and he watched Jebat Derhaka’s actions on the screen with crisp sounds on full volume. Jebat Derhaka, the team’s captain had been quite spectacular in his leadership on the field.

“Impressive,” Tun Sengalang muttered to himself, stopping the screen on the close up shot of Jebat Derhaka holding his fist high in the air towards the Ultras. “He knows how to get the crowd going. ”

Suddenly a knock on the door. ”Enter,” he said.

An aide came in with a file. “The file on Jebat Derhaka, as you requested, Tun,”

Tun Sengalang Petara took the file and read through it again; the summary of Jebat Derhaka’s history in Pasirpura, his progress in football, and his increasing status as an Eraman’s hero. Tun Sengalang made a slight smile on his face.

“Pasirpura’s golden boy,” he said, putting away the file and putting it on the table.

The aide, however, stalled. “Do you consider him a threat, Tun?”

Tun Sengalang leaned back on his chair and his face was rather tense. “Not at all. But symbols have power. And in this game, it’s all about power. Keep an eye on him.”

The aide nodded and left the room and Tun Sengalang turned back to the screen to listen to the shouts of the Ultras. He drank some tea, though the wheels in his mind were already in motion.

[Panay Islands and Guimaras]

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A WIN AND A DRAW AT HOME
San José de Buenavista and Caluya, Antique

The Carabaos are now in Antique for 2 games in the capital and in the Caluya islands. The first game was at the Provincial Stadium where the Carabaos faced the Tamazights in a match where Tiu showcased his skills, with a seal of approval by Ricalde, the Panayense superstar. Tiu scored 2 goals for the rest of the game against Al-Tamazigha. "I was doing my best, and it felt great.", says Tiu. "Never knew I could score a goal 2 times after all the greatest assists I made." And in the match against Of the Godless, the whole Panayense fans in the stadium anticipated a match that would be an easy win for the Carabaos. But the Godless defense showed no mercy to the Islanders. And went on for a goalless draw for the both sides. "We recently got humbled by the defense that these players from Of the Godless.", says Ávila. "But we know that we could do our best to take the Godless players out." The Islanders will face Hapilopper and Baker Park again both at home and away.

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem Government News

World Cup game rolls on despite car attack on Dazza Dallas Stadium

Top seed and the runner up of the last World Cup Valanora where due to play at Dazza Dallas Stadium today the 7th game of qualification at the World Cup 98. So far the World Cup 98 games in Jeruselem have been uneventful apart from large losses to visiting teams in some of the games.

Today this calm was broken when someone tried to drive a car into the Dazza Dallas stadium entrance which is only part of the stadium not protected by rather wall like anti-car barriers. You cannot park a vehicle next to stadium unless you are working there or part of security. There are pole like structures at the entrance area to allow people to enter without causing issues with people movement.

A CyberTruck suddenly drove from an adjacent parking area towards stadium entrance. All areas of the stadium during an active World Cup game are always under survelliance and security is always wary of attempted car bombing attacks. The CyberTruck ran into the one of the poles, which are spaced so a car cannot enter without causing damage. All the security guards responding, cleared out any people near the Cybertruck to keep out of harms way. The driver tried to keep going the poles were solid steel and are embedded into the ground and don't go anywhere.

The drivers compartment of the truck was raked with automatic guns fire. Later revealed they were using armour piercing rounds to penetrate bullet proof glass. The bomb squad was sent in to check if the car was rigged as bomb. The area was fully cleared and later the car was removed with stadium reopen again.

It was verified the driver was deceased from the gunfire but no news about the identity. The visiting and home team got into the stadium without drama although the visitors would have noticed some helicopter gunships hovering around their bus onroute to the stadium. The visiting Valanora team had some the Royal Personal Guard posted to protect them in case they were the target of today's incident.

Even after this drama, the visiting Valanora did beat the Princesses 1-0 in game which was probably a bit close than some expected given some of the Princesses losses to higher ranked teams.

A reminder those female guards at the stadium aren't there for looks and will put down any threats without hesitation. If the Cybertruck had breached the car barriers, stadium security said they had other unnamed measures which would have been used as last resort.

Spokesperson for the Jeruselem royal family, Princess Alice Stella Dallas said
"While Valanora and Jeruselem don't exactly have the best diplomatic relationship, we treat all our visiting football teams like they are ambassadors. Valanora and any other football team visiting will be protected to best our abilities. Unfortunately we do have residents who want attention for wrong reasons and number one team in the World Cup visiting was probably why it was today. Sadly the incident did happen and some people were badly impacted today. We won't let this stop us from our efforts to safeguard the World Cup here."

[Hapilopper]

DID YOU KNOW?... While it rarely happens, the Hapilopper Football Association has a rule that states that players that receive multiple red cards in a game receive multiplicative penalties. In other words, a red card on top of a red card multiplies a suspension on top of another, a third red card adds another multiplier, and so on and so forth. The most ever received in one sitting was three back in 2018 when FC Buckridge defender Nathan Ellis got one red card for a hard tackle on United Hampton Cities midfielder Steve Erickson, a second for kicking him in the stomach after Erickson appeared to simulate an injury, and a third for flipping off the referee. Ellis was suspended four matches for the three red cards.

Somewhere in “Of the Godless”
World Cup 98 Qualifying Match 7: Hapilopper v. “Of the Godless”

All week, the Hapiloppian team, Ellis Football, had been planning on a blowout against this team from a nation called Of the Godless. It would be an old-fashioned Hapiloppian ass-whooping to set an example out of some poor sap, as a way to send a message to the rest of the group that the loss to Yuezhou was just a setback, nothing more, nothing less, and the Hapiloppians were going to come back with a vengeance. For all intents and purposes, the Hapiloppians were going to run up the scoreboard and totally blow Of the Godless out.

If it went according to plan, the Hapiloppians would have scored double-digit goals and shattered World Cup qualifying records, both official and unofficial. The good news was, that two records did get broken during the match. They just weren’t the kind of records the Haps were looking for.

It all got started when Rory Schuyler, a midfielder situated deep in the team’s bench, stormed into Thom Perkins’ office and insisted he started the game. Since the qualifying campaign had gotten started, Schuyler had played maybe three minutes, late in Hapilopper’s shocking 4-0 blowout of Baker Park. And normally, Thom’s first reaction would be to tell this asshole to fuck off, and then suspend him a match for making such a demand. But Thom was feeling a little punchy on this day, and decided he’d humor Rory, just this once.

“If this was against anyone else, I’d tell you to sit down,” Thom said. “Be lucky I’m giving you this chance.”

Looking at his players getting ready, he spotted Tim Radomia, the team’s resident stoner, looking at his phone.

“Radomia!” Thom barked. “How you feeling?”

“Like shit, my leg’s been cramping,” Tim replied. “Why?”

“You want to take the day off?” Thom asked. “Go ahead and burn one. I’m starting Schuyler for you tonight. I’ll cover for you.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Tim responded, heading over to a tub with his stash.

So that’s what happened. The Hapiloppians took the field while Tim undressed, drew himself a hot bath, got himself a glass of wine and some munchies, and lit himself a joint.

Rory, standing in Tim’s place in the midfield, had no idea what he was doing, to be fair. And it was probably fair to assume that Thom was going to sub him out within the first 15 minutes in favor of someone who actually knew what they were doing. The fact was, since Hapilopper was going up against one of the two teams in Group 3 that didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of advancing, they could let off the gas a little bit.

Rory, having an unhealthy assumption about what Hapiloppian football was all about, figured he’d make an impression, out of a desire to make an example out of this Of the Godless team, maybe along the same vein that Nathan Ellis did so many years ago against a debuting Vdara team. The problem was, that Vdara was then, and now, a relevant team. And the problem was that unlike Rory, Nathan Ellis had a bit of a romantic hero quality to him. Rory was just a douchebag.

But he didn’t think of himself that way. He thought of himself as the main character. All the Hapiloppians were going to fall in love with him after he pulled this stunt off, right? Right?

...right?

Instead of clotheslining the ball carrier – in Nathan’s case, Alexis Fotellis of Vdara, Rory waited for the Godless ball carrier to pass the ball, wait a few seconds, grab his attention and kick him as hard as he could right in the nuts. It was a very effective way of getting everyone’s attention. It was also a very effective way of pissing everyone off, as the now-former Godless ball carrier was on his knees on the turf, howling in pain, clutching his nuts, while this dumbass Hapiloppian midfielder stood in front of him, a huge smile on his face.

Worse? The referee was standing three feet away from the whole thing.

He couldn’t believe how blatant the whole occasion was – and in fact, was in such disbelief that he just stood there for about a minute, staring at Rory before asking him what that was all about.

In fact, the whole match came to a stop as both Hapiloppian and Godless players stopped to see just what in the hell had just happened – and what this idiot substitute was doing.

“Wasn’t that great?” Rory asked. “I mean, he’s got to know who we are!”

“No, that wasn’t great!” the referee barked. “I was standing right here and you kicked him!”

“I didn’t mean to kick him in the nuts,” Rory weakly pleaded. The referee wasn’t buying it and gave him a straight red. Rory would get a one-match suspension for his stupidity.

“No, seriously! If I meant to kick him in the nuts, I would have done this!” Rory then picked the poor Godless bastard up and kicked him, even harder, right in the junk. The referee gave him a second red card. Rory was facing a two-match suspension.

Ernie Stevenson started walking over toward the scene on the other side of the pitch from the Hapiloppian sideline, visibly annoyed with the whole thing. Almost like a baseball manager, he made a gesture implying he was going to give this midfielder the hook.

“You dumb fuck referee!” Rory barked at the official. There’s a third red card. Four match suspension.

Rory didn’t get the hint. He flipped off the referee. Fourth red card. Eight match suspension.

By now, the accumulation of red cards was starting to piss Rory off. He started yelling at the official, even as some Hapiloppian players were starting to restrain him. Eventually, he said something about the referee’s relations with a domesticated farm animal. Fifth red card. 16 match suspension. And then there was a sixth red card because those relations seemingly were too naughty to mention here. 32 match suspension.

Red card number seven came after Rory ran over to the offside referee and threw his flag into the air. 64 match suspension.

The eighth red card came when Rory, not done yet with his rage, spotted the Video Assistant Review screen near midfield, put on a headset and started screaming at the VAR officials watching in the control room. For his rant, Rory’s suspension hit 128 games. He hit red card number nine for apparently calling the VAR system “Video Asshole Review” and heavily implying something rather vile with that system, something that we cannot mention in this medium. That meant a 256 game suspension. Then it was on his way to the Godless goalkeeper, for whatever reason, and he came up with an idea that he was going to pick a fight with this guy.

The keeper knocked him out with one punch. Rory Schuyler, in his first and last international start, received a record 10 red cards in one match and a 512-match suspension from the Hapilopper Football Association, covering both club and international play. For all intents and purposes, his act of stupidity, followed by his monumental meltdown when someone tried to discipline him, meant that his professional football career was over.

Between that, and the entire Hapiloppian team receiving an enormous contact high upon walking into their locker room at halftime, as Tim Radomia had effectively smoked the locker room out, meant the Haps were not on their game, only beating the Godless team 1-0.

Dom Probst was absolutely furious post-match. He was beyond apoplectic at Rory for his meltdown. He was enraged at Thom Perkins for sitting Tim for Rory. And he was pissed off at the locker room being fogged out with the deep, thick haze of weed smoke.

It was, to put it mildly, not Hapiloppian football’s best showing.

[Gnejs]

Enda Clentin’s last dance

Chapter two: Enda & Brenda

Part one: Like White Wine And Scones On A Cloudy Spring Day

It was love, and it was beautiful. Until it wasn’t, and that was crucial to the second part of the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team.

Enda Clentin first met Brenda Blymmins through her son, Emlyn Blymmins. Emlyn - ever a misfit and «problematic» child, but also the only IT-guy in the valley - had helped develop and set up an impressive remote video coach system for Clentin and his «Representatives» when they competed in the 93rd World Cup. Due to the discovery - by one Doctor Orem Ustingham - of the so called Far Faraway Syndrome, whereby Delts seemingly aged more rapidly when away from the health giving qualities of the valley’s rivers and fresh air, Enda Clentin had proclaimed that he was never going to leave Delte again. Consequently, some innovation was needed to ensure he could continue his vocation as coach and manager of a national football team regularly competing outside the valley. It was young Emlyn Blymmins who helped jerry-rigg this elaborate setup, and when Enda was eventually relieved of his duty as coach of the Delte national team and offered a new job as the head coach of the Prosaic Union national football team, it was Emlyn he turned to for technological assistance once again. Clentin had previously remote-coached from Tunn’s Farm (The Representatives’ training base), but that arrangement (naturally) came to an end when he was now offering his services to a competitor, and therefore operations were moved to the headquarters of Blymmin Cable Inc. at 33 Mange street in Oswark.

Enda and Emlyn would go on to have a very fruitful collaboration covering multiple WC cycles, but Clentin’s accomplishments as Dandelion coach have been chronicled elsewhere. What’s important here is that the headquarters of Blymmin Cable Inc. was actually just the spare room next to Emlyn’s bedroom, in the house he shared with his mother. His mother was, of course, Brenda Blymmins, and this was how Enda and Brenda first met back in the days leading up to the qualifications to the 94th World Cup. It wasn't necessarily love at first sight, although few could deny there was an instant attraction. Let’s say their fondness for one another grew over time. Both of them likely refrained from acting on that initial attraction due to young Emlyn, seeing as Enda and Emlyn were «business partners», and the divorce between Brenda and Emlyn’s father was still fresh in the boy’s mind (it had only been a decade). But Fate would have it that young Emlyn eventually needed to travel all the way to the frigid north and help The Dandelions implement and adapt to the remote-coaching-system in preparation for the 94th World Cup qualifications, which left Enda and Brenda all on their own in the house of 33 Mange street. It would be very un-valley-like to dwell on the finer details of what went on in the spare room next to Emlyn’s bedroom after the boy left for Rushmore, but suffice to say that Enda and Brenda quickly became quite close and when Emlyn eventually returned there was a new man of the house, so to speak.

Enda and Brenda were two different souls. She a chirpy and hands-on individual with an insatiable lust for life, whereas he was more of a gruff and brooding sort of chap. While Brenda took pleasure from the simple things in life, Enda was often one for viewing the glass as half empty and had a propensity for existential rumanations. But they fit like stumps and bails and together they made a wonderful wicket, to speak in the parlance of our times. They lived a happy life in the valley, and over time Old Enda also developed into something of a father figure for young Emlyn (people in Oswark would often remark «sure benefitted from having a man around the house, that Emlyn»).

For most of us, we would measure the time they spent together in terms like decades (or something like that; let’s just call it «multiple cycles»), but since time works differently in the valley, for Enda and Brenda it was more like a year or two. Perhaps that was the reason they seemingly managed to keep their love and relationship so sweet and unfermented. While Old Enda was partial to staying in, feisty Brenda loved to move around. And since Enda loved Brenda, the couple traveled extensively and followed the River Delte and its tributaries up and down. They did weekend getaways in all the parish towns, from Deltemouth and Sullenden to Ughmirren and Askirk. They took the River Cruise upriver to Leald and picnicked at the nature reserve one day, and soaked in hot spring waters in Marshlock Spa on another. They quickly became a prominent couple on the Oswark social scene as well, and you could often see them during opening nights at the The Oswark Fiesta & Revue, in the exhibition space at the Brewery Sports & Social Club, at Ildemorton Road following the local teams Town (Enda’s team) and United (Brenda’s team) or indulging in some craft ale and white wine at the Six of Staves pub on Aughtshambles Street (funnily enough, the landlord of the Six of Staves - one Emel Radogar - is the one who uttered the famous «prophecy» about Enda Clentin guiding the Dandelions to winning the WC and is probably at least partly to blame for all of this, but I digress).

Brenda also took an active interest in Enda’s work, and could often spend long hours listening to her «boo» explain the intricacies of his coaching philosophy. She was also always a champion of Enda and his supposed genius, whether in the pub or on the street. Sometimes her devotion even took her to as far away a place as the world wide web. When Enda Clentin suffered significant criticism from a Union football blog during the qualifications for the 96th World Cup, Brenda first battled on his behalf in the comments section and then even went to the lengths of a hostile takeover (she had Emlyn hack the blog). Words like sweetness and cottage love came to mind when you thought of Enda and Brenda, so from the outside life during (circaish) World Cup cycles 94-97 was looking pretty sweet.

However, all of this took place against a quickly changing societal backdrop, where the very foundation of valley life as we have come to know it was about to be turned sunny side down. While the consequences would be dire for the valley as such, this was also crucial to the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team.

[Aphrilia]

First Time On The Chopping Block
Back to back losses weren't good for this team.

Even though the team was fifth and was only behind first place by five points (With six games remaining, which is ample time to catch up), Aphrilia hadn't really been performing too well. Not as well as they were expected to do, to say the least. Even when the U21 players that were called up to the senior team played, the team was still shaky.

Back to back losses against Hapilopper was a bad sign. The team was 4 - 0 - 4 with every game for some reason looking like either a loss or a win. If this team wants to maintain it's status quo, they would have to qualify. Or at least finish third, since they're a Pot 3 team. In fact, The Anchors were one of, if not the best Pot 3 team and so far they're not looking like it. Fans are worried, the players are worried. Everyone is worried for this team. There may be a multitude of reasons such as the captaincy change and the DBC running along as well...

But some more pessimistic souls pointed to Christopher Vermont's call-ups. McKernell and Hosokawa weren't even the best options available for call-up within their respective roles.

And don't even get started on the U21 call-ups. Kachel, Gillingham, and Rhine-Faust were fine. They were expected call-ups afterall. But others weren't and some of them were not well received by fans. Villa and Burns especially, the former due to racism and superstition (Some people unfortunately can't change) while the latter was due to him playing out of position. Rhine-Faust was playing out of position too, but she had been informed before hand, thus she had time to try and adapt and it was working for her.

But it wasn't working as well for everyone else. And thus questions were being raised at the team manager. Why? Replacing the players that left was understandable, but it felt like some were just too extra. And as those questions continue to be asked, Christopher Vermont himself was chilling in his office as usual. A cold glass of coffee on his table while in front of him on the table was a paper and pencil. Drawing out more potential tactics and ideas... He wonders if there will be time to let these tactics play out. Perhaps his time as the team's manager is starting to tick down, maybe it hasn't. But if it has, he's going to try and finish these "drafts" of his as soon as possible, whether he remains or not.

As he piked up the pencil and once more drew jagged lines and arrows on them akin to a child drawing fictional war plans, his phone rang due to a call. And for once it wasn't Anthony Christwell, but rather NAFA's president and founder, Clark Thompson. "This is it, huh." Vermont muttered to himself. Dropping everything else and taking a drink from his cup, he picked up the call. "Hey Clark. I'm assuming it's bad news." The manager said first, and all he could her was a sigh on the other side.

"It is." Thompson responded. "The board wasn't too happy at first when you made your call-ups... I don't know why, especially when you did this when the team was formed for the first time. I told them to give your decisions a chance, but their patience is running thin. Christopher, you're on the chopping block right now. If you crash and burn this campaign, you'll get the boot immediately. Reach expectations and you'll be given another shot at the Independents... If you don't want to be on the slab, you need to get the team performing. They're already trying to look for replacements, and I can't really stop them. You don't have much time." So many words expressed by a worried man, from him to another who's on the road to a potential bad end. But Vermont was calm, his response too short for anyone else in his situation.

"Don't worry Clark. I'll do what I can do."

[Grand Exultia]

Well not quite the results we wanted, playing two lower ranked teams both at home and we didn’t come away with two wins, that’s going to put pressure on Apollinaris. I suppose four points out of six is a reasonable return in a gameweek for our debut in the world cup qualifying even if some of us had felt confident the home advantage would see us sail past the lower ranked teams.

A relatively unchanged lineup with just one change in the defence, Haldia comes in to replace Steiner, somehow Elenion is still between the sticks even though we’ve not kept a single clean sheet yet this competition and I cannot fathom how lucky he must be feeling. I’m surprised we haven’t seen a complete overhaul of the defence but I guess that’s why I’m not managing the national team. I would love to pick Apollinaris’ brain just to see his thought process and maybe be a fly on the wall to see what the conversations between him and these players are like. Generally we’ve been quite free scoring so you can’t complain too much about the state of our attack, a very youthful force that bodes well for the future and hopefully as they mature we will progress just as well. Still need to fix that leaky bucket at the back.

The roar of the crowd in the Gyrinx National Park was deafening as the players took to the field, flags fluttering all around and the resounding booms of the drums, you could feel the electricity in the air as the national anthems started up. It’s always warming to see every player singing the anthem full throated, clearly wearing their heart on their sleeve ready to fight and die for the nation, makes you proud to be Exultious. After all the pomp and fanfare we settled down and I don’t think I’ve seen an unluckier Exultious performance, in that first half against Libesia, Elenion made a number of cracking saves tipping the ball over the bar, round the post or seemingly defying gravity to catch and pose for the cameras, he acted as if nobody could score past him and his distribution was excellent. Rather than looking to play out from the back a more direct, route one, type of football was implemented with Vielener the target man and targeted they were. Now not every longfield pass was brought down by Vielener but a good percentage of them were and the dangerous pace coming from Brambleberry and Starkzahn caught the Libesian defence off guard more than once and it was halfway through the first half that the Exultians thought they had taken the lead through such play, a few passes amongst the defenders laid off to Elenion who pumped the ball downfield for Vielener who held off their man, flicked the ball on first time as Starkzahn flew down the pitch, one touch and lifted deftly over Ntombizanele, wheeling away to celebrate the lead until they saw the linesman’s flag raised for offside. Criminal really for a winger, who can see all the defenders, to be caught offside. The Gyrinxes maintained the pressure on the Cheetahs, the Cheetahs happy to sit inside their own half and weather the storm that rained down on them, efforts from range blocked by defenders or parried by the keeper, wingers unable to penetrate effectively along the byline, it was shaping to be a hard fought game, clearly tougher than the smiling faces at kick off would have had you believed. Just before the stroke of half time though another breakthrough as Gillyflower dances down the wing once again faking inside to hit the byline only to double back catching the defender wrong footed, a moment of space as they float the ball to the far post and who but Vielener is there to hold off two separate challengers and nod the ball back across the goal as it bounces in off the woodwork but the officials are there to ruin the party again as the whistle screeches through the air, apparently the referee felt Vielener had been a bit too aggressive with the diminutive defender and had not gained the space legally, always going to be difficult when you stand head and shoulders above your opponents and equally, if not more so, broad.

Dejected going into the half with two goals disallowed and cynics like myself seeing that today was not to be our day. Well we were right, more in the second half as Libesia clearly content for a point away from home never ventured out of their half, until the dying moments, resolutely defending their box from any and all threats. Not to give up the Exultians pushed forward firing effort after effort at the goal, hitting woodwork and keeper in equally frustrating supply and never having much space to make anything happen. An aggressive change saw Strongtower come on for Duskstriker putting another forward in the mix, a near man to man outcome forming in the Libesian half as Brambleberry gets the ball, back to their man, turns one way and goes leaving the ball where it is as Vielener plays it forward Brambelberry beating the offside this time and closing on Ntombizanele quickly, a moment of indecision and the players clash but Brambleberry has managed to nudge the ball past as it rolls to the goaline, the home crowd leaping for joy in anticipation as Mboumoua comes from nowhere to hook the ball clear off the line. The only notable attack of the Libesians came towards the dying throws of the game as Chukwuemeka danced through the almost non-existent Exultious midfield, Hazeeye finding it more important to score than remain anywhere near his actual position, Chukwuemeka then played an exquisite pass with the outside of their boot perfectly out of reach of Grosslaufer into the path of Moléngo who took one touch staring down Elenion and fired it straight at them, Elenion equal to the power caught and smother the effort to a somewhat bittersweet fulltime whistle.

We have ended our losing run, but we have probably dropped two points that would have been critical for us to consider any chance of qualifying in this very competitive group. A strong man of the match performance from Vielener who probably edges out Elenion who does deserve the praises for this game (I can be big enough to admit when a player has played well, albeit rarely).

Well we were in search of turning around our fortunes and continuing the form of this team and the closeness of most losses Apollinaris has stuck with his group clearly looking to gel the players further who won the Baptism of Fire, though that is feeling a long way past since.

In contrast to the Libesian game our return fixture against the Christian Brothers saw a much more end to end viewing that must have excited Exultious fans and neutral fans alike. A familiar result as we put four past the Christian Brothers again this time in front of a lot more of our fans however we still conceded two goals which needs to improve and Elenion is at fault for arguably one of these if not both.

After the last game clearly the forwards were disappointed not to register a goal and came out with a point to prove opening the Exultious account in just three minutes with a well worked through ball down the line saw Gillyflower approach the edge of the box only to pull it back behind the defenders to Duskstriker at the edge of the box who, first time, curled the ball into the near top corner with a finesse we haven’t seen from them yet this competition and hopefully this is the catalyst for more from them. More end to end play as both keepers are tested and it was Elenion who would break first just before the half as a thunderous effort that Elenion went to catch just above their head slipped straight through their gloves just kissing the underside of the bar as it falls into the goal. The first proper mistake from Elenion but not the first goal they should have kept out. Once again the team looks to Brambleberry as the on field leader and a few words of encouragement, with some choice words interspersed that I couldn’t repeat in publication, well they had the desired impact as Vielener once again demonstrates their size and power almost brushing away one of the defenders to feed a perfectly weighted pass to Starkzahn who, coming in from the left, takes one touch with the outside of their right boot to take the ball past the keeper and roll it into the empty net to restore the lead. Positivity from the Exultious fans as the team presses to further the lead only for tragedy to strike, a poor Christian Brothers attack collected quite easily by Elenion who drops the ball at his feet moves it from under him and steps to kick only to slip upon impact and chips the ball directly to the Christian Brothers striker who wastes no time in burying the effort first time. Now I put the blame with Elenion who looked far too casual against an unranked team and now he’s been punished by conceding two very soft goals.

Apollinaris doesn’t shy away from tough decisions and I’ll give him credit for that as he made three changes at half time, Elenion, Thoth-Manon and Vielener all brought off for James, Underhill and Syllis respectively. No change to the shape with straight swaps and for the first time in this competition the oldest player in the squad, Underhill, has taken to the pitch at 33 years of age, a dinosaur in comparison to the youthful squad dominated by youngsters with only Underhill over the age of 25.

As if the match is being written by Apollinaris himself his substitutes would make an immediate impact with Underhill starting a run from deep in Exultious territory, a quick 1-2 with Hazeeye to open up some space, Gillyflower with a run out wide right, Brambleberry with a run left into the middle and the defence just parted like the red sea for Underhill to marauder through and coolly slot past the keeper, the lead restored and Apollinaris looks like a tactical genius, well to some that is. Another impactful substitution would pop up shortly after as Starkzahn would demonstrate some fancy footwork to beat their man to the left opening up enough space to fire a cross low into the box and it was Syllis who found the ball at their feet and a near open goal to tap into and extend the Exultious lead. Whilst the crowds excitement never dwindled the on field excitement seemed to be a little lacklustre as the Exultious players moved the ball around with ease but looked to come off the gas a little and happy to see out the game and record a much needed win.

You cannot deny the impact of the substitutes and therefore strength in depth of our squad but I am starting to wonder now whether Apollinaris’ bullheadedness to stick with the same starting lineup is starting to hamper us and whether a drastic change is required. Only time will tell as we move swiftly into the phase of the group games where we will only face opposition who are ranked above us. A scary position to be in considering the gap of 3 points to any chance of qualifying but you have to keep the faith and with 4 teams all within a win of each other the group is anything but decided.

Report by Patsy Orchinaoff for the Independent Football

[Audioslavia]

Carrying the One

Parts [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8]
[9][10][11]
[12][13][14][15][16]

---

A few thousand years ago, Audioslavia had a disastrous fourteen minute experiment with a monarchy. Regardless of how meaningless those fourteen minutes were, the very fact that there was a monarchy at all means two things are true forever. First, there will forever be a lineage of descendants of the usurped monarch. Secondly, it will always occur to at least one person in the world that, hey, maybe there should be a king after all, and while there is a person with a claim to said kinghood, there will always be a Restoration movement, no matter how small or disorganised.

In Audioslavia’s case, there’s also a counter-restoration movement, which aims to brutally murder anyone in Audioslavia should they hold the title of first in line to the throne

---

Maybe training to become the helmsman of the ship was a mistake. Fraser Farrington wanted to be out of the rain. He wanted to be on dry land. He wanted to be with Tania on a beach in Osarius sipping Negronis and looking after his… let’s say ‘young family member’ because ‘technically niece but hopefully future stepdaughter’ was a little weird. He hoped his brother Terrence would forgive him, wherever he was now. Only Tania would be on the sparkling water right now because, well, because of what happened when they last met.

But no. Here he was in the driving rain, holding a massive wheel with nobbly bits around the end, going absolutely nowhere, but he had to keep holding it just in case the ship started going somewhere.

Four decks below, several members of the crew were crowded round the ship’s engine. To a man, each was tutting, stroking their chin and shaking their head, for no broken engine got fixed without this pagan tutting ritual first being performed. Like a haka for the bald, it finishes with an inhalation of the air through the teeth and the mumbling of the ancient war cry ’namate sfuct innit’. The engine was broken. It wasn't, as Fraser had hoped, 'just going to start up again if we gave it some oil and some kind words'

“I think it’s time for the sails” came a voice behind him. It was that of Archibald Craig. Fraser was usually pleased to see Craig, but in the last month their relationship had become a little more strained, what with him having again caused a situation where Craig might have to be stationed outside a maternity ward in case The Union try to speed-run another royal heir. Fraser got the distinct impression that, the day after telling Craig of his indiscretion, Craig had very pointedly and very deliberately not kicked Fraser square in his balls. It was a feeling he couldn’t shake. A hard punt straight to the balls was something Craig was very much not doing and would never even threaten to do but Fraser got the feeling he was actively not doing it. Honestly, the tension was worse than the boot in the balls would have been. Or maybe not. Fraser also got the impression that, outside of gridiron kickers and MMA fighters, Craig might be one of the worst people to have your Crown Jewels blootered by.
“Sails, bloody hell” said Fraser. “Not seen those before. They still work?”
“Wind still works the same way as it always did, so I’d hope so.” said Craig. “It rather makes the job twenty times harder up here, though” said Craig. Around him, men were pouring up from the decks below and getting busy with ropes. Next to him, First Helmsman Martin had appeared.
“Your Grace” said Martin. Fraser nodded, understanding what was up.
“The ship’s yours, First Helmsman” said Fraser. He and Craig were getting in the way of the men working to get the sails in order, and so they quickly walked aft-wards to the stern. ‘Aft-wards to the stern’. They walked to the back of the ship. The back. Why boats can’t just be like left right front back miles per hour is beyond me.

In the distance, Fraser could see the shimmering blue outline of the Olask Islands, the westernmost point of the nation of Cosumar.

“Look” said Craig. “Aside from a weekend where you… were busy… in Osarius, you’ve spent more than a whole year on this ship. Engine problems like this aren’t solved quickly. We’ll need towing all the way across Hunters Bay to SIlexhera, from there the fix can take weeks. A few months on dry land would do you the world of good. Take the speedboat, it’s half an hour to Olask. Restaurants, theatres, cars, all that land stuff. There’s an airport too that’ll take you most places in Anaia. Why don’t you take a few months? Get yourself set up with a house, somewhere permanent. Somewhere you can put roots. Come back when your ready. Maybe that’s a month, maybe that’s six, your call. It’s your boat”
Fraser thought for a second. He made up his mind. Then he pretended to think for another few seconds so as not to be rude. He stroked his chin. He said ‘hmm’. He tutted. He shook his head. He inhaled through his teeth. He pretended not to notice Craig narrowing his eyes at him.
“Where would I go? Where would you suggest?” Fraser asked.
“Anywhere that’d be friendly. Friendly to you, that is, not friendly to our country. Go somewhere with good connections to Audioslavia and your movements will be well documented, including when you came back here to the boat. The Union can’t, and won’t, get to you if you’re not on Audioslavian soil, so you'll be safe wherever you are. Just choose somewhere where they don't particularly like Audioslavians. Doesn't narrow it down, of course. Try, say, Vdara, or, if you’re feeling really brave, I hear house prices are cheap these days in…”

The speedboat did indeed take half an hour to Olask.
The taxi to the local airport took an hour.
The wait in the departure lounge two hours. In that time, he somehow managed to arrange a house-viewing in what he hoped would be his new home.
The flight took three hours, unfortunately not directly to his destination. Waiting for his transfer in Burningham, Osarius, he checked his phone and saw a message from someone purporting to be associated with the house’s current owner. The house wasn’t available, unfortunately, but there was a similar property, slightly further out of town, that they could do a very good deal on. Prior Street, a relatively peaceful road on the outskirts of the nation’s capital city. Newfort.

—

Monterroso Says Boys ‘Ready’ for Bostopia Test
Fraser Farrington Situation ‘Not An Issue’ says Bulls Boss

.

After a frustrating afternoon in Cathair where the Bulls failed to beat bottom side Hmmland, relinquishing the opportunity to halve the gap between themselves and group leaders Squornshelous, Salvador Monterroso says the Bulls are still confident of extending the gap between themselves and the chasing pack as they battle for what is likely to be the second of two automatic qualification spots for World Cup 98.

Their next opponents are regional rivals Bostopia, who sit four points behind the Bulls in fourth, having lost last week to a resurgent Vetrahjart who are starting to look more and more like the team that defeated Audioslavia on match day three and less like the team that contrived to lose three of their first four games.

Bostopia will likely move to third, and a possible playoff spot, with a win, while the Bulls are hoping to pull out a gap between themselves and the pack. The match may be overshadowed, however, by the delicate political situation between the two nations.

Those of you who have looked at the Successr app at some point over the last year will have seen that the current First in Line to the throne, or ‘first in line to a gunshot wound in his medulla oblongata’ as The Union would have it, is one Fraser Farrington, 21, of Cathair. His whereabouts had been listed as ‘unknown’ for a very long time, with his photo becoming more and more out of date, before his entry was finally updated to reveal a new location. Newfort, Bostopia.

Fraser has claimed, through an attorney, that the purchase of a modest house was done ‘privately’ and ‘with no connections to any official organisations in any nation’. He claims that he did know the property was formerly, and he did very much put the emphasis on formerly, a designated military family house in what was once 1st Newford Barracks of the Emperor’s imperial Bostopian army. He claims, also, to have been completely unaware of what the state of Bostopia would do next, which was apparently to recomission the barracks, to station a military detail close to Farrington as his own personal guard, and after a few days to officially decree that the Audioslavian Embassy was no longer in central Newfort, in the building it had been in for centuries, alongside other embassies for Ko-oren, The Plough Islands, Cardenao et al, but had instead moved to 17 Prior Street, 1st Newford Barracks, Newfort, Bostopia.

Fraser Farrington, known to some as King Fraser I of the Republic of Audioslavia, is now, apparently, and apparently against his own will, the official Audioslavian ambassador to Bostopia.

Salvador Monterroso has said that his side’s formation would be unaffected by this new political landscape. The side are expected to land in Bostopia tomorrow morning.

[Of the Golden Harp]

The Golden Harp Vs Vdara 0-1
Summary
1'kickoff
17' yellow card for Mondy
45' halftime
63' goal for Ferrero Fotellis assisted by Takis Pipadis
89' red card Grazzija Le Brun
90' end of full time
SOG
TGH 1-2 Vda
Shots
TGH 3-27 Vda
Fouls
TGH 13-8 Vda
Bookings
TGH 1-1 Vda
Blocks
TGH 13-0 Vda
Saves
TGH 1-1 Vda
Passes
TGH 900-329 Vda
Pass accuracy
TGH 67%-83% Vda
Man of the Match
Ferrero Fotellis
Comments
Reynolds: Disappointing, not much else to say
O'Finnegan: One shot, that's all we had, no chance to win
Keane: THAT WAS CLEARLY IN THE BOX! WE SHOULD HAVE HAD A LAST MINUTE PEN BU NO, THE REFS WERE CLEARLY BRIBED!
Garbhan: Disappointing, still no goals

The Golden Harp Vs Qasden 2-3
Summary
1' kickoff
14' goal for Qasden
19'' yellow for Keane
27' goal for Qasden
45' Halftime
67' goal for Qasden
84' goal for Garbhan assisted by Keane
89' Goal for Garbhan assisted by Johnson
90' end of game
Stats
SOG
TGH 7-17 Qas
Shots
TGH 13-33 Qas
Fouls
TGH 5-3 Qas
Bookings
TGH 1-0 Qas
Blocks
TGH 8-3 Qas
Saves
TGH 14-5 Qas
Passes
TGH 671-451 Qas
Pass accuracy
TGH 59%-73% Qas
Man of the Match
Qasden Striker
Comments
Reynolds: We allowed too many goals, the tactics change was too drastic, but we did score, Garbhan played his heart out today.
Keane: 4 Yellows! These refs are blind, that was a clear challenge on the ball! *storms off*
Garbhan: I am thrilled we finally found goals, but today our defense couldn't keep it together
O'Finnegan: I should have played better... one more save...

[Banija]

Kabaka- King
Omugabe/Omugaba- Prince/Princess
Katikkiro- Prime Minister
Waziri- Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament

Select Principals Meeting, 2 hours after The S&T Foreign Minister got shot

Banijan National Security Council- Emergency Committee on Siovanija & Teusland Assasination

FULL MEMBERS
His Majesty the Kabaka- Mwanga
The Waziri- Omugaba Immaculate
The Katikkiro- Boaz Gor
National Security Advisor- Dembe Kasibante
SUB Intelligence Director- Lt. Gen. Arjana Donde

INVITEES
Banijan Ambassador to Siovanija & Teusland- Afiya Oyange (PRESENT ON VIDEO CALL)
Omugabe Ssemanda

After the news had quickly started to travel around, it took some time to get the Banijan principals (that were in the Capitol, anyways) all in the same room. It had been a stunning moment- a political assassination attempt in the heart of the Siovanijan capitol. Seemingly, too, out of nowhere- nobody in Banija had registered that there was any sort of threat of violence in the United Republics for their upcoming election cycle. And so, naturally, the Kabaka had to quickly form an emergency committee, and get the Principals meeting, as quickly as possible. Naturally, the Katikkiro, as the head of the elected government, joined him. He was joined by Omugaba Immaculate(the Foreign Minister), the National Security Advisor, the SUB Intelligence Director, the Banijan Ambassador to Siovanija & Teusland(their woman on the ground), and lastly, Omugabe Ssemanda. Some questioned about Omugabe Ssemanda's role- he didn't actually have any role in Government, he was simply 'in the running' for the role of Regent. But, the laws regarding these sorts of things were very clear, and the Kabaka could basically invite whoever the hell he wanted.

So as the people began to pour into Mujaguzo Palace, they had to get ready. Staffers running in and out- there was no point in meeting in person if they didn't have information, and giving some hours for the Prinicipals gave them time to get necessary information- especially once the Banijans understood that it seemed to be an isolated event- to an outsider, at least. A lot of confusion, at least- since nobody was really ready for something like this, there wasn't a ton of time for the Banijans to get any sort of information on what was going on. Still- a Foreign Minister being assassinated, in his own country, no less, was a major event- and when it was of a major ally? It required this sort of meeting.

Once everybody had arrived, the Kabaka walked into the room. Everybody stood for him, and he waved them down. They were about to begin.

"Thank you all for coming, on such short notice." Everybody nodded at him. The entire National Security Council had taken to leaving a suit here at the Palace, in case they were called for an emergency meeting. Still, interestingly enough, Boaz Gor's had actually been taken to the drycleaner's, and he didn't have time to go back home and get his- so he had come in just regular, joe schmoe clothes- a T-shirt and jeans. He had been at his kid's HS gridiron game. Maybe it wasn't all bad- his kid's team was losing to Cass Tech, the best HS gridiron program in the country, by a score of 42-7 through three quarters. Everybody else though, was suited up. But the fact that he didn't bother to go home and get one, showcased the enormity with which the Banijans were treating the event.

"You all know the basics- Josef Wimmer, Siovanija & Teusland's Foreign Minister, was just shot, on the street, in Borograd." Kabaka Mwanga said. He then paused, briefly, for maybe half a second. He was an old man, a tired one- seemingly feeling more tired every day. But, he knew his own responsibilities, and took them seriously. Everybody looked at him pause, before he continued speaking once again. "It seems as if he was shot at point blank range. We are not sure if he survived or if he is still alive- that kind of information is simply not available to us yet." Everybody looked at the Kabaka, nodding their heads after he spoke. Then, he nodded at the Waziri, Omugaba Immaculate.

"Afiya." The Waziri said to the Banijan Ambassador, who was appearing via secure video link. "I'm ordering all leave to be cancelled for Banijan security at the Embassy in Borograd, as well as at the Consulates in Stelburg and St. Jakob. We're going to coordinate with Teus officials on national security issues. We're not sure what's going on, how targeted these assassinations are- so we are making sure our people are safe, as a precaution- and that includes your person." Ambassador Oyange thanked her boss. "There is no danger for the families of diplomatic personnel, as far as we can tell, so no need to send families home. In fact, that should be discouraged- no need to panic. But these extra security steps should help- we will coordinate with the United Republics on sending extra Banijan diplomatic security personnel, if necessary." The Ambassador, once again, thanked her boss.

"Ambassador Oyange." The Kabaka said. "What kind of information do you have on the ground? What's going on in Borograd?"

"Well, there's not much publicly released yet- and as you can imagine, the United Republics Foreign Ministry is quite busy right now." Ambassador Oyange told the room, via video call. "Our embassy has already put out a statement, offering prayers for the health of Josef Wimmer. There are rumors that the gunman yelled 'End imperialism', but again, it's too early to confirm anything with the UR foreign ministry. So we're basically in a holding pattern."

"End Imperialism? You think a Blue Sun guy came all the way out to Borograd and shot him in cold blood?" Omugabe Ssemanda asked.

"Well, considering the context of the election, that's not ruled out- but the Blue Sun are basically a dead, spent force. And from such a small country- one of them coming all the way out to Borograd is unlikely. Not impossible, mind you- but unlikely." Ambassador Oyange said. "But, in the context of the election, there's been a rush of Teus nationalism since the Saint Konrad War- so it's likely to be some sort of Siovanijan reaction to the right-wing push in Teus politics right now."

"But-" Interrupted the SUB intelligence director. "Let me emphasize- these are all theories from the Ambassador. Siovanija & Teusland obviously is conducting their own investigation, and they will let us know in due time, what needs to be done."

Silence for a moment, and then, Katikkiro Boaz Gor asked a question. "Is there a possible chance of violence here? Should we increase security for Siovanija & Teusland's Ambassador to the Kingdom?"

The Kabaka answered this question. "We're going to increase security, temporarily, around the Siovanija & Teusland embassy. Let's do so for the next week or so- don't think it's necessary, but it's, once again, a show of support. Once we're able to get Chancellor Hauser on the phone, we'll meet again."

Everybody nodded. The Kabaka stood up, and everybody stood with him. He grabbed his cane, and he strolled out of the room.

---

Aquila Hongo, 10 minutes after subbing into the Pyazhnaya v. Banija World Cup Qualifier, in the 84th minute

Aquila Hongo was the oldest player on this team- 35 years old, and still pushing along for them. He was a bit too old to play the CM role for Banija for 90 minutes at a time, every single time- but he was a veteran player who did great as a spot player for Banija. In those tougher games, when it required a player with experience to try and see them out, Hongo would step in, and perform. And this match, was a perfect example. The Banijans had the advantage for much of the first half- outplaying their Anaian hosts, repeatedly knocking on the door to get that first goal. But they had seemingly left their finishing boots at home- encapsulated by a moment when Son-Saka, usually devastating in front of goal, skied a shot basically at the 6 yard box into the 16th row. The creation was there, the killer instinct was not, and the home team was surviving.

At the break, however, the game would turn on its head. It was a second half red card for Pyazhnaya that opened the floodgates for the Banijans in Jinja City, and this time, with their full 11, they were able to turn the game on their own. A subsitute in the midfield had the desired effect, and suddenly, it was Pyazhnaya who were on the front foot. Banija was trying to make it 12 points from a possible 12 away from home, which would be a tremendous record- but they were barely surviving to get a point, let alone 3. That's why, in the 74th minute, Hongo was subbed into the match. "Look- Edsmontik did have a draw against Cafu & Malaugay, which gives us a little bit of breathing room." Wangolo told him before going onto the pitch. "Fix things in the midfield, and let's get out of here with a point- although if we get a chance to get 3 points, obviously, go and cease it."

And the 35 year old, right now, was fresh. Running with a renewed motor and sense of purpose, he was harassing Pyazhnaya players everywhere- trying to fill passing lanes, and turn defense into offense quickly. And when he got an opportunity to make a sliding tackle, and take the ball, he saw Son-Saka flying up the pitch, on the left side. "Shit, let's hit him." He whispered to himself. He got up, took a touch, and hit a beautiful long ball- all systems go for Banija. A tired Pyazhnaya side, trying to get back, while Banijans flooded forward, looking for that go-ahead goal. This, of course, included Hongo, trailing the play. Son-Saka hit a cross, and Kagenda had a chance to hit it first time. He did- but a Pyazhnaya defender got in the way, popping the ball backwards- straight to Hongo.

"Oh fuckin-" Aquila thought to himself. The moment had come- he struck true, blasting his foot through the ball, into the right corner. "LET'S GO!" He yelled, watching his beauty of a shot. He ran straight to the bench, to celebrate with the other players. Always a great moment to come off the bench and grab a winner- even better when it was in a critical World Cup Qualifier. He had, for the first time, put Banija in sole possesion of first place in this World Cup Qualifying group- as the path to Pavola suddenly was looking clear.

[Busoga Islands]

Part I
Part 2

Isaza Oyo, crossing the Quebecois-Squorn border into Lublova, from Boekham

Oyo was riding in the back of a car that was driven by his 'point man' in Quebec. Getting to Quebec was the easy part- didn't need a visa to travel to Quebec, thanks to being fellow members of the Quebecois Commonwealth, so it was all about getting on the plane. Now, of course, it wasn't exactly like Isaza Oyo had warrants out for his arrest- but he wasn't a man who liked to be tracked, either. The profile ran on him and his family had gotten a lot of traction, but got crucial facts wrong. It was true that he owned a few rib stores in Lakiska- he needed a way to wash his money, and more importantly, needed a legitimate business to wash his reputation.

But of course, even though he was talking to Quebecois people, he wasn't actually doing it in Quebec. He was going to the Jopok. Meaning he had to cross the border. But the article got one thing right- he wasn't as deep in the game as he wanted to be. The Oyos used to be a feared crime family- but that mother fucker, Kabaka Mwanga, and all of those governments had beaten them down. But it was time to get into the family business, once again. The time was ripe. Economic growth in the country, and rapidly increasing secularization, meant that there was a small, but growing, market for narcotics- coke and crack and whatever else would get the Busogans stress-free and high. He felt it would be easier to fly to Quebec, and then, cross the border via road.

As they approached the checkpoint, Oyo looked at his passports. He had two in his hand- his real one, and his fake one- that went by a fake name. It was a good thing that he had kept this counterfeit passport- he knew a guy in the Busogan Foreign Ministry who would keep making him one. He wasn't necessarily doing anything illegal -yet-, but if he was going to be big in the game, once again, then he needed to continue using his fake credentials. So as they pulled up, to the gate, he handed the fake passport over. The border guard was an old man- this wasn't known as a particularly strict crossing. And he was fine- they didn't have any actual illegal product on them at the moment.

"Francis Kahara?"

"Yes?" Isaza replied. That was his fake name. Francis- the name of his twin brother, who had been killed by the Banijan state. And Kahara- the last name of his favorite all-time athlete, Gitonga Kahara- the WC winning captain for the Kingdom of Banija in WC86.

"Business in the Confederacy?"

"We're on vacation." Isaza said. The guy continued to look through their stuff. "Hanging out in Lublova. Heard there's some nice things to do here." His driver chuckled, and the Squorn border guard frowned. Were they making fun of his city?

"Well, enjoy the country." Isaza nodded, as he got the passport back, along with his driver. They then continued on- next stop, Lublova. They drove on the freeway, and then, of course, shortly afterwards- the skyline for Lublova pulled into view. Oyo frowned. "This is what this city has to offer?"

"Well... You aren't here for vacation, boss." The driver replied. And Oyo nodded. This is what these gangs went to war with each other over? But that meant it was an easier place to hide. A million people lived here- a large enough city to disappear into any number of rundown apartments and factories. A bland city, yes- but that's good for discipline. There's no urge to let loose in a poker room or a strip club in a town like this, considering the fact that those were probably terrible in a town like here. Time to focus- he wasn't really here to let loose, anyways. And sure, he'd have a drink at some point- but at some level, beer was beer, right?

The driver drove him towards what looked to be an abandoned factory. These sort of meetings were always going to be tough to run- the Oyo crime family were not in their heyday, of course, but they still had the rolodex. But they didn't quite have the manpower to secure a facility like this themselves. But, Oyo knew how these things worked- you have multiple groups there, they will provide security for their own guys. So the Jopok, as well as the Lublova Mutri, were the two organized crime groups that Isaza was going to meet.

As he got out of his black SUV, he shook the hands of a few people. Particularly, he made note of the head of Lublova Mutri, and the head of the local Quebecois Jopok group, who were there. The Jopok boss, a younger guy, started them off.

"Got to say, I'm surprised old man- you're back in the game, huh?" He asked. "My people tell me you've got an interesting proposal..."

"Whoa, let him talk." The head of the Mutri replied. "What he's got to say, is something that will interest us all." Isaza Oyo took note of this dynamic people. HIs people had told him that these two groups were used to working together, and yet, had a strong rivalry with each other. They didn't like each other, and it wouldn't take long for a turf war to break out between them. They had fought, time and time before, and they were certainly likely to fight again.

"Thank you guys, for meeting with me." Isaza began. "As you know, we're looking to make some big time moves, in our corner of Arrosia. There's a ton of potential there- in the Busoga Islands, of course, and then even in the bigger fish in that pond- in Banija." Both sides were listening intently.

"Now, you all know how we were basically forced out of Banija, and how we don't do a ton in the Busoga Islands. But- there is a chance for growth in Busoga- entry for all of us, into a new market. And that... Gives us a chance to get a foothold in the Southwest. Which, gives us access to all sorts of markets- in Banija, maybe even Farfadillis, and all the neighboring states. Think about the potential." Isaza Oyo paused.

"How do you get this access?" Asked the local Jopok leader. "You haven't done a ton recently. You got the foot soldiers? And frankly, Busoga has extremely tight import controls, even for an island nation. How can we even get product over to you?"

"Well, I was hoping someone would ask." Oyo smiled, and then continued. "In my home country, in the Busoga Islands, there's currently an election going on. President Kasekende is running for a fifth term."

"What does your country's election have to do with this?" Said the Lublova Mutri head.

"Wait, I'm getting to that." Isaza said. "President Kasekende is up for re-election. It's a good time for a change of government. Now, the other candidate, his name is Orag Saglik. My nephew, Yohanna, works as part of his campaign- and is going to get a major role in government if he wins."

"They're gonna let your nephew get a role in government?" The Mutri leader scoffed.

"Remember- the Oyos have been clean for a long time. Publicly, of course." Everybody laughed, as Isaza kept talking. "But yes- Saglik gets into office, they are going to loosen border controls. And even beyond that- having a man on the inside means we can get more on the inside- at the ports, the middle men, in entire agencies. We'll be able to get our product, into the country, at huge levels- and if we have supply, we can sell. And if we can sell... Everybody makes money. I make money, you guys make money- it's a win-win-win." They asked him more questions on the economics, and it went a bit like a business proposal- he had graphs, he had numbers, he had it all. He sold them on the profit potential.

"So.. I'm sure you all are wondering- how do we win this election?" Isaza asked. "You all heard me say that President Kasekende had four 6 year terms. But we're not just leaving it up to chance, to the voters- Kasekende is going to win by 20 points, again, if we do nothing. But we aren't going to leave things to chance. We, my friends, are getting involved directly."

The whole room had their eyes on him. He smiled, and then continued. "Look- what I have, is expertise. What I need, are scale, and funds. Here's the thing about the President. He's a vain, do-gooder. All he cares about, right now, is the national team. Busoga 100 project. I think he should focus on that- but full-time. We are going to infiltrate the information space within the Busoga Islands, and we are going to flood it. This is a new age- and we have to be ready to meet it. You guys have all heard of 'troll farms'- I like to call them 'Info Brigades'. But we are going to flood the space. Half the stuff, attacking Delbin Kasekende. The other half of the stuff, promoting Saglik. AI creators. Fake accounts. Hell, even run traditional media ads. The whole 9 yards."

They looked at him. "You know... I'm curious. You think this could work?" The Jopok leader said. He looked unconvinced.

"Well, the Busogans haven't really run any major investigations into things like this before. Not only do I think this could work, nor do I think that they could actually catch us in the act- I think we could make an impact on polling fast." Isaza said.

"You know, I like your thinking." The Mutri leader said, smiling. "The rules of the state don't work for you- so you're bending the electorate towards your will. Idk if it could work- but damnit, you got moxie. I'm in." The Mutri leader said. They both looked at the Jopok leader.

He looked unconvinced- but, he didn't want to miss out on an opportunity that a rival gang would have. "You know what? F it- I'm in." The Jopok leader said. All three men shook hands with each other. Isaza Oyo, after locking in details, left one of his men there. They'd run this mostly from Lublova- out of reach, physically, of the Busogan authorities. Go big, or go home. As he rode away, he smiled to himself. He was going to get back in the game. He made himself a mental note, as well, when he got back to Lakiska, to draw on his Siovanija & Teusland contacts once again- while this operation was probably good, as is, if he was really going to get back into the game, he'd need to have all the allies, and all the suppliers, that he'd be able to get.

[Sarzonia]

The weather conditions at Nottingham Pavilion were better this time.

Other than that and the result being a 2-0 victory for the Sarzonian national football team, there wasn't much better to talk about.

It was cold and windy, but at least there were no frozen patches and no ice to cause potential injury for the players.

The result was enough to leave Sarzonia in qualifying position at the midway point of qualifying, just one point behind top ranked Valanora, as the Stars enter the midway point with a 4-2-1 record.

As the last interviews were wrapping up and the now-dressed players began to make their way to their respective buses, a loud sound was heard from the away dressing room.

"Oh fuck," manager Caleb Rush bellowed out before he saw the director of maintenance simply roll his eyes.

"The heat in the away dressing room gave out," he said.

"That's why I said 'oh fuck'," Rush said. The maintenance director looked at his security camera and replayed the last minute or two.

"False alarm," he said. " They cut off the heat by mistake."

"What do you mean they cut it off?"

"It looked like they were trying to turn out the lights and the manager accidentally hit the off switch for the heat. I'll go turn it back on."

Sarzonia would have an away match against Doubeia, a fixture that suddenly loomed as more important than usual given The Gauntlet that was to follow. Namely, home to a Bears Armed side that shut out the Stars at their home venue, then matches away against Jeruselem and home to Valanora. The match against Valanora would be the lone match at Sarzonia's national stadium, Dave Wilson Stadium, and tickets were already sold out.

"We've got to focus on the match we got right in front of us," forward Spencer Wilson said.

[Milchama]

"How is the CoH campaign going?"

"Are we turning into Electrum?"

"No"

"But they were the only ones who campaigned for the CoH"

"True but we don't have an exclusively satirical newspaper report our news"

"True we have real but deeply incompetent newspapers"

"They're just lazy!"

"Yes but their jobs are reporting, how do you be such a lazy reporter?"

"That's a good point"

"Or like why do you think we've mostly gone away from that as a form of RPing"

"Oh I figured it was because match reports get boring"

"Who does match reports in a sports RP? Not when there is politics, religion, history, worldbuilding, and random bs to do"

"That's a good point, why RP match reports when you can have a 30ish post long story about a love story between a midfielder and her weird paramour or a multi regional civil war pile up"

"Why don't we do that?"

"Oh see Zwangzug for that"

"What do you mean?"

"They had a great newspaper report about it a few WBCs back, I can't find it right now and am about to run"

"Oh then we should probably get going"

"Yeah"

"So let us pray"

"Yep"

"Cool"

"Say what I say and do what I do"

"''Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 18 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over all infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

[Sarzonia]

Heading into the second half of qualifying for World Cup 98, Sarzonian national football team manager Caleb Rush decided to give his charges a simple mantra.

"Do your job and let the chips fall where they may."

It might not be the most original mantra out there, but Rush figured it would work.

To start off the cycle, Sarzonia traveled to Doubeia in hopes of maintaining their hold on a qualifying spot. Rush decided not to pay attention to the matchup between Valanora and Bongo Johnson, especially because conventional wisdom said top-ranked Valanora would easily beat off a limp challenge from Bongo Johnson, despite being in their home grounds.

Sarzonia did their part, defeating Doubeia 2-0 to earn an important away result, but Bongo Johnson proved to be much stiffer competition than expected, defeating Valanora 2-1. After Sarzonia and Doubeia retreated to their respective dressing rooms, Spencer Wilson punctuated the interviews being conducted by goalkeeper John Wells, fellow forward Kitt Morgan and Rush with a loud "HOLY SHIT!"

"What happened?"

"Bongo Johnson got the result!" he said.

"A draw?" one reporter asked.

"No, they won!"

"No fucking way!"

"See for yourself!"

The collective gasps in the locker room soon reverberated as people realized what the pair of results meant. Not only were the Stars currently in position to qualify for the knockout rounds, but they were currently leading the group. If those results somehow held, they would gratefully accept the lack of drama compared to the last two World Cup qualifying campaigns that saw the team play an additional match to determine their ultimate fate.

Sarzonia (5-2-1, 17 points) now held a two=point lead over Valanora and an all-important four point edge over Bears Armed, who were currently in third place. With six matches remaining, nothing was close to being decided in the group yet, but the Stars had a chance if they played to their full potential to have a very memorable qualifying campaign.

Rush didn't know if he'd manage the Stars to a World Cup title and become the first manager to do so since the legendary Dave Wilson, but at the very least, he would be fondly remembered in the annals of Sarzonian footballing history.

[Yue Zhou]

LEV REP-OUT?
Mytanar skipper's shaky start reveals fault lines within YFA

NANGANG -- Many Dragons fans were elated to see Yuezhou come away with convincing away victories against Hapilopper and Aphrilia, results that could seriously impact the qualification calculus for all three teams. But YFA President Xu Xiaoliang was reportedly not one of them. According to sources familiar with the longtime executive's thinking, failure to qualify for what is nominally a Yue-hosted World Cup would be an unprecedented humiliation for a federation that still feels a need to prove itself. And while it's highly unlikely that a manager as well-regarded as Lev Repin would be sacked before the end of qualification, Xu is "keeping all options on the table" in a desperate attempt to avert such a fate, which would likely mark the end of his YFA career.

When Repin took over the Dragons just twelve matches ago, it came as a great relief to a YFA that had alienated their previous legendary manager. Although Elaine Ashdown brought Yuezhou to their greatest success in national history, qualifying for four World Cup knockout rounds, reports of persistent meddling in national team affairs that should've been Ashdown's domain led to her moving on. Back then, we reported that Xu had insisted upon a Yue manager to succeed Ashdown, but that many of the top candidates balked at the level of control that Xu seemed to want over personnel decisions. Eventually, while Xu had to comprise on a non-Yue manager with a comparable amount of power to the level that Ashdown was promised (and initially given), he was at least able to save face by recruiting a legendary manager that had recently brought Chromatika within ninety minutes of a World Cup title. And although Repin's first tournament in charge fell short of expectations - the Dragons made the quarterfinals, but were still disappointed to lose to a less-than-full-strength Tikariot team who they have, in recent years, had the better of - Xu remained steadfast in his support for his star manager.

Since then, though, a disastrous zero-point window to start qualifying seems to have changed Xu's view of the hiring, as Repin's Dragons looked far from prepared in losses to Al-Tamazgha and Cobrio. While they've looked more impressive after a shaky start, scoring critical six-pointers against Hapilopper and Aphrilia, they dropped points again to the surprising Panthers, who despite starting the cycle unranked nearly managed the double over the Dragons before a late save courtesy of Zheng Hong. And the team's 4-1-3 start remains short of the caliber the YFA expects from a Pot One team with serious World Cup aspirations. Combined with Xu's desire to elevate a Yueren, like assistant manager Yuan Mingrong, to the position, and it's clear that Xu may be willing to move on quickly in the event of non-qualification.

However, while Xu retains significant influence over the YFA, his reputation as stubborn and difficult to work with, which is seen as playing a pivotal role in pushing out the likes of Ashdown, Chen Huikang, and Corinne Mersiades, reportedly has him on thin ice with the Yue Ministry for Sports, which could lead to his dismissal. Indeed, many consider the longtime administrator's push to move on from Repin as a symptom of his general desperation to save his job, as his second five-year term expires at the conclusion of the World Cup proper. Repin's defenders within the YFA generally point to the Dragons' 4-1-1 performance since that initial hiccup, despite short-term injuries to both star striker Leona Tsang and captain Zhao Deliang, as well as Xu's own penchant for overreacting. When granted anonymity to speak on the situation, an anonymous YFA employee noted that "This guy [Xu] pushed out Ashdown and Chen by trying to control everything, and now that he's finally given a manager some control he wants to take it all back as soon as he can. I mean, if you're choosing between a legend of the game like Lev Repin and Xu, the choice seems obvious."

Still, with the Dragons still a point out of the playoff spots and four points out of autoqualification, the situation is starting to turn desperate. Four points in six points is not exactly a difficult margin to make up, and with matches against Baker Park and Hapilopper remaining, the Dragons still control their own destiny when it comes to the top three places. But an uncertain start in the one qualification campaign where uncertainty should be avoided has the YFA pointing fingers and sowing discord yet again.

WCQ98 MD7: YUEZHOU 1 - 0 Aphrilia, Yübao, Nangang
Starting Lineup (3-4-1-2): Xu; Zeminsson Yao, Zhao, Ji (Deng 55); Huang (Bao 80), Zhaxi, Dong, Milosevic (Wen 80); Mingsdottír Zhang (Zhenyasson Zhang 55); Jia, Tsang (Zhu 61)
Goals: Jia 36

WCQ98 MD8: YUEZHOU 2 - 2 COBRIO, The Meridian, Jiangdong
Starting Lineup (3-4-1-2): Zhao; Zeminsson Yao, Ji, Deng (Yuanjunsson Ren 62); Huang, Zhaxi (Zhenyasson Zhang 73), Dong, Milosevic (Li 62); Mingsdottír Zhang; Jia, Tsang (Zheng HT)
Goals: Dong 33, Zheng 84

[HUElavia]

HUElavia 2–1 Equestrian States
(Brandt 13', Narita 55' | REDACTED 72')
Estadio Porto, Portimao, HUElavia

HUElavia 3–0 Polar Islandstates
(Milano 7', Dias 22', 86')
Nuevo Estadio del Rio, Rio de HUEska, HUElavia

Confessione

A mobster's confession of his family's sins.

Dino once more leaned forward towards Agent Coutinho and put his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose, trying to recall each of the soldiers that were going to the hit. Victorino Méndez, Claudio Pirozzi, Sein Rossi, Neron Arcuri, Faro Toledo, Gil Mazzanti, Giovenzio Giuntoli, Tolomeo Pizzurro, Generoso Speziale, Rino Castello, and Cipriano Filardi. Listing what they looked like and how they acted and what made them tick felt like an eternity. Agent Coutinho would rapidly write as fast as he could, stopping at points to have Dino repeat what he'd say. Eventually, Dino had to stop to make a point. "I know I should've mention this sooners, but be careful with Gil and Generoso." "Why so?" "They're 'interior decorators' who 'paint houses'." "Interior decorators? What's so bad about some guys who do some home renovations?" "They're violent men. They've whacked about 5 or 6 men each." "Who did they whack and how? That is if you know so."

Dino began listing of the names of the people they clipped. Some were well known cases that made the national news. He even included some details that the HBI did not know during their investigations. Some of these details would have Agent Coutinho stop in his tracks to stare in stupor at what Dino was describing. Eventually, Agent Coutinho put his pen down and sighed. "Well, we got quite a bit of information here you've handed us. A whole lot of stuff that really implicates not just members of 'your' family, but other associates. This really can put a real dent into the crimes we've had to follow from these men to put them away for a very long time. If you excuse me, I need to turn these notes into the team."

Just as Agent Coutinho was going to put his hand on the doorknob, Dino spoke up. "Wait." "What is it?" "I- I have one more thing for you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a USB drive. "A USB drive? What's on it." "I got screenshots of group chats, messages and some emails between these people. Given I am a Capo, I would have the knowledge of these conversations. There is also a word document that says what our sayings translate to. This will help you understand the messages and get who did what." Agent Coutinho stood in surprise, looking at the USB and moving it around, inspecting it. "How much data is in there?" "It says 32 GB, there's about 27, maybe 28 GBs in that USB." "OK. Thank you for providing this." Dino nodded as Agent Coutinho walked out and closed the door.

Dino began to tremble. Panic began to fall on his body. His heart pounded, his hands drenched in cold sweat, that no matter how much he'd wipe off on the bottom of his shirt and pants, it'd still profusely sweat. He felt dizzy, the vision coming into waves again. All he could do was close his eyes and breathe. He breathed in and out rapidly, feeling as if he was being suffocated. It felt like if the spirits of the deceased were coming out from beyond to drag him down for breaking the Omerta. Doing the one thing he was sworn to do. But he began to force his thoughts towards his wife and kids. The three people he loved dearly in his life. The three people he did not want to involve in his business, especially his kids. They deserved better and he wanted to give them that chance to live in peace. He began to remember fun times he'd have with his family. Spending time at the beach, starting into a campfire, watching a movie in their movie room with the kids. All these began to calm Dino down, as his family was his anchor in life.

He heard a knock at the door, and in came Agent Coutinho with some papers and a pen. "Alright Dino, I appreciate the time you've spent with me today to give all this information. You're not only helping us, but you're helping your country. I want you to take a moment to go through these papers and sign in the highlighted areas. We're almost done at this point." Agent Coutinho handed over the papers and Dino began to read from the top.

To be continued...

[Kanzlia]

[1][2][3]
[4][5]

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Exceptional result today

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To: Karl Schmidt

---

Karl, you absolute madman. This has to be the greatest night in Kanzlian football! Brilliant, brilliant! The board and especially myself are extremely pleased with our win against Flavovespia. And then a good win against the all tough to beat Yuugria! I'm very very pleased! This puts us in a good position for the second half of the qualifiers.

We'll consider giving a performance bonus for the squad. Decision will be finalised tomorrow. For now, good luck with the preparations.

Sincerely,

Jan Melis
President of Voetbal Vereniging Kanzlia

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80 Koninginstraat, Szbedansk, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Exceptional result today

---

To: Jan Melis

---

Dear President Melis,

Thank you for your kind words Mr. President. Im sure a bonus would motivate my players further. They showed tremendoes character on the pitch today.

I'd also like to update the recovery of Pisaric, Dr. Mes is rehabilitating him well. I've talked to Dr. Halberd and he's confident he can clear Pisaric in time for the match against Calgasia.

Also, it's a big big shame that Dr. Kovacova was a druggie. I never would've expected that. Dr. Mes and her friend is devastated by the news.

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

---

12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Exceptional result today

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To: Karl Schmidt

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Karl,

Thank you for updating me on Pisarics condition.

But if I remember correctly you mentioned Maria Kovacova as Dr. Mes's friend? You know Dr. Mes, she's very introverted, reserved, and quiet. I didn't know she had another friend around here.

Sincerely,

Jan Melis
President of Voetbal Vereniging Kanzlia

---

80 Koninginstraat, Szbedansk, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Exceptional result today

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To: Jan Melis

---

Dear President Melis,

I'm afraid I must've gotten Maria Kovacova and Mariska Kensova mixed up in the last email. Sorry for the confusion, but hey! Atleast we won't have to worry about the junkie again!

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

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12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Re: Exceptional result today

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To: Karl Schmidt

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Karl,

Yes, I suppose that's true. Thanks for clarifying Karl.

We all inevitably mess up.

Good luck with the preparations.

Sincerely,

Jan Melis
President of Voetbal Vereniging Kanzlia

---

80 Koninginstraat, Szbedansk, KNZ

► JM - 01:32
"Dude, we got the wrong guy. Kovacova wasn't her friend." ✓✓
◄ AG - 01:34
"Are you serious right now? How'd you mess that up you moron."
◄ AG - 01:34
"And what the hell do you mean "we" ? This is your fault." 
► JM - 01:35
"Sorry, I messed up. Happy now?" ✓✓
► JM - 01:35
"And it was that idiot Schmidt's fault!" ✓✓
► JM - 01:36
"Her actual friend is a Mariska Kenisova. I can confirm it now." ✓✓
◄ AG - 01:37
"Ok so?" 
► JM - 01:37
"Well get rid of her!" ✓✓
► JM - 01:37
"12,000 Gelders upfront" ✓✓
◄ AG - 01:38
"I can't just fake another drug test so soon after Kovacova you idiot." 
◄ AG - 01:39
"The PR nightmare would be insane! It's too obvious."
► JM - 01:40
"Well what the hell can you do then?!" ✓✓
► JM - 01:40
"If she pieces everything together we are done for" ✓✓
◄ AG - 01:41
"Look, I'm too tired for this. You wake me up at 1 bloody AM, let me get my beauty sleep in first." 
◄ AG - 01:41
"We'll discuss this tomorrow"