Why? Why did a country that won multiple world championships in multiple sports and played host to arguably the multiverse’s most popular domestic football league suddenly just… stop? What exactly was going on while the Big Blues were off playing their final matches in Paripana? Just what were MediocreDarren, NeoFascistAlan and Zlatko2 trying to tell readers of the Albrecht Herald Online all those years ago?
A dozen years of Candelariasian time later, two out of three of these questions, and possibly several others, will finally be answered.
Possibly. Ish.
Well. Bit of an odd one, this.
Most of you, noticing this thread lurking betwixt the Wife Carrying World Series 13 Sign-Ups and the Domestic Cheese Rolling NewsWires and idly clicking upon it, will either not recognise the name of Candelaria And Marquez, or do so only from perusing the list of all-time World Cup winners (according to Sporcle we’re officially less memorable than Dorian and Sonya, so don’t feel bad about it). My Big Blues won two World Cups and lost in a final in between (all against The Holy Empire, for some reason), won a couple of rugby union and field hockey world cups, the Di Bradini Cup a few times. My domestic league, the CMSC, attracted a fan base of a solid half a dozen enthusiasts, and was a leading force in the UICA competitions. I accidentally turned the non-sporting region of Rushmore into one of NS Sports’ big two, and marginally less accidentally engendered the creation of Esportiva too so, y’know, soz.
That’s about it, really. Mildly big deal, for about three and half years. Then toddled off. You may pay me no further heed, because if any of the above is news to you you’ll get absolutely nothing out of this thread.
Thing is, even if you remember all the above as though it was yesterday you’re unlikely to get anything out of this thread either. This is really just about some extremely belated Closure for yours truly. Honestly, you really would be advised to stop reading at this point. Leave it, mate. It’s not worth it. Ramblings of a madman. Gowon. Shove off.
But if you do plan on sticking around at least for a few paragraphs longer, here’s the backstory. And prepare ur butts, because things are about to get self-indulgizzle up in this thrizzle.
When I concluded my participation as Candelaria And Marquez in the NSWC with World Cup 51, I did so with the fullest intention of returning, probably no more than a year later. I mean, I very much enjoyed doing this… whatever it is we do here, so why wouldn’t I? Apart from anything else, I really wanted to wrap up the storyline(s) that I’d left dangling. Over the course of the next few months I began writing what would ultimately become the following, sort of, with the intention both of doing just that, and setting up a new status quo for my nations. Real life once again got in the way of completing that particular project though, and by the time I’d summoned up the sinews to become properly active on NS Sports again I was in the mood for tossing all that to one side for a while and starting with something fresh.
As it turned out, Seunem soon proved to be anything but fresh – and the prospect of actually turning it into a proper country, at a time when pesky RL stuff was starting to get in the way once more, saw me throw in the towel after just a couple of cycles. Instead, after making my final appearance on these here forums prior to today at the World Cup of Dreams, I went back to working on the Continued Adventures of Candelaria And Marquez intermittently for a while, shrugging off various misgivings I had… principally about it becoming too long to know what to do with, with a side order of concern that at least one other NS Sports person was doing something rather similar, and far better than I ever could, around the same time, and a tertiary nagging conviction that it was all completely shit and pointless and a waste of my time. Which, obviously, it was. It’s imaginary sport, it goes without saying.
Also, iirc, the old nswiki went kaboom at pretty much the moment I was planning on making heavy use of it, which was… frustrating, somewhat. Just a tad.
Ultimately, though I got pretty deep into finishing the damned thing, the third of those concerns won out and I abandoned the project. I still regularly gave thought to coming back here, ‘cos, y’know, I missed it, and even some of you shower, with various different possible new nations or a further reinvention of C&M or Seunem. But invariably, RL stuff would get in the way again and put it on the back burner once more.
In late 2020, I happened to have a couple of TG conversations that inspired me to go rooting around my old files to see what I still had lying around. I ended up cobbling together a few old NSwiki pages for my CMSC teams and sticking them up on the new nssports wiki, and added a few more in the middle of last year and then the final tranche a couple of weeks back, alongside some other bits and pieces relating to Gordon Bay City (you want pillywiggins, we got pillywiggins!) and a newish nation page and wotnot. At the same time, I also rediscovered The Beatrice, something I thought I’d deleted in a fit of pique years ago, and figured I might as well do something with it.
Reading through it made it clear that I’d really lost my writing mojo by that point. I mean, not my ability to spew out this gibberish at a prodigious rate. Lord no. This thing is fucking novel-length. There’s more words than Sense and Sensibility. It’s just that it was, y’know… shite. I’d very much put lore ahead of lols, whilst simultaneously sacrificing any kind of coherent plot. It still had some comforting hallmarks of me-ness – utterly uncompelling protagonists and wafer-thin, identikit, personae with inconsistent yet strangely similar speech patterns generally; people explaining the plot down implausibly long corridors; people turning around to look other people in the eye so often they must have serious neck problems by their fifties; seemingly important characters wandering off halfway through; other extremely important characters being introduced out of nowhere… It was also derivative yet naïve of its source material, has some quite bafflingly dull chapter titles, no footnotes, is so absurdly self-referential that following what’s going on – if that’s even possible – requires a solid grasp of my Jolt-era throwaway RPs going back to our Baptism of Fire run beyond even my own memory… In general it was just such a waste of any theoretical reader’s time, my own included.
Still, though… Having reread a bunch of my old stuff I steadily began to hear the cry of several million Candelariasians wanting answers. They deserved them, frankly, even though I knew full well that this wouldn’t really provide any particularly satisfying ones. It was intended to be as much set-up as conclusion, after all. So I knuckled down for a while and rehashed parts of it, removing chunks where even I didn’t understand what I was driving at, brutally massacred some topical references, pretty much totally rewrote certain parts ravaged by the passage of time, and added a few sections that had been left as XXX FILL IN LATER the first time around as best I could, which… turned out to be not very well at all, because I’ve barely written anything in the past decade and it turns out it’s just like riding a bike, in that I can’t actually ride a bike.
(Are you still here, btw? Jesus. Glutton for punishment, you. Were you privately educated, perchance?)
This was mostly in late 2020 and early 2021. While I’d intended to finally get this done and dusted a year ago, 2021 proved a pretty shitty one for ol’ Camcam here, and I gave the whole ghastly business no further thought until this year when I finally thought: fuck it, rolled my sleeves up, and ‘finished’ it. The result is not at all how I’d intended to conclude my plots leading up to the close of WC51 – I think I’d completely forgotten that within about a month – nor is it exactly what I wrote tennish years ago, nor is it what I’d write now. It’s a hideous chimeric monster, of a kind that no-one outside of maybe a few US states and El Salvador could possibly be expected to bring to term.
Is it worth anyone who enjoyed any of my stuff over a decade ago reading this? I hope I’m selling you very hard on a ‘No’ vote. I’d be amazed and slightly appalled if more than one or two people at most even end up so much skimming a quarter of it. It’s not as though I’ve read any of your crap over the past decade. I should probably do that sometime, shouldn't I? Ugh.
(I jest, I jest. Love you all as if you were my mothers, obviously. And like my mother, contact is best kept limited and restricted to telegram.)
Never the less… it’s here. This, in-characterly speaking, is why Candelaria And Marquez left the wide world of sports, never to return. This, with some tweaks for the sake of the passage of time, is where I would have taken the country next if I had returned as planned. It’s here if you want it, I guess.
Once I’ve finished spellchecking and putting up all twenty-eight chapters over the next few weeks, anyway, unanticipated illness or death or the justifiable homicide of the man next door notwithstanding.
Oh, and I checked with a nice manly mod man that this slightly unconventional (at least, in my day, as far as I can recall) use of the NS Sports forum was acceptable. Turned out it was, regardless, and in any case I’m C&M and – quote – “should be allowed to do what you want, when you want”, an ethos I intend to take into the rest of my life, no doubt propelling me into Downing Street before too long. #satire #hignfy
Anyway.