World Cup 80 • EqueStar • Roleplay Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Sat May 12, 2018 5:18 am

Princess Cassie and Ben Hamish of Zion Bank

Cassie: This is Princess Cassandra Elise Dallas of Jeruselem. I'm with Ben Hamish of Zion Bank, he's a banker. This video is to help foreigners dealing with money in Jeruselem.
Ben: We're here to help
Cassie: I'm a certified and qualified securities trader as well as a cryptocurrency trader. Ben speaks for our banking system.
Ben: I'm the official PR guy for Zion Bank

Cassie: Unlike some other countries, we have flexible monetary system. We accept cryptocurrencies as money here now, we accept it's a new way for things. It's best to embrace change.
Ben: We still have a strong banking system here too, we accept all currencies from all nation, at current market rates that is.
Cassie: We have an odd system with odd school mixed with high technology including cryptocurrencies. You like Silver, Gold? We'll trade it. You like money in hand like cash, we still have cash. Debit, credit and even cryptocurrency cards are supported here.
Ben: Jeruselem has one of the biggest electronic monetary networks in it's region. Every part of our country can access electronic monetary systems via the Internet. All parts of Jeruselem have Internet.

Cassie: We still have cash here. Jeruselemites like cash. We have recently dropped all banknotes under 100 shekels, but will introduce a 100K note later.
Ben: If you don't have local currency, it's easy to change your own nations electronic currency or cash to the local currency. Of course, exchange rate charges and conversion rates apply like everywhere else.
Cassie: You can also change your crypto to the shekel via an ATM here. We got crypto ATM machines.
Ben: Some banks have precious metal vending machines too. If you love precious metals, we'll support you too.

Cassie: Banks have places you can store your precious metals, well for a monthly fee. You have to prove it's yours and not stolen though. They don't just assume it's yours.
Ben: We don't want to be store places of stolen assets.
Cassie: In some places, there's a lot of taxes on everything. In order to keep money flowing, we don't overtax transactions. We want people to be able to spend money with confidence.
Ben: We support lower taxes on monetary transactions.

Cassie: Of course it doesn't mean we like fraudsters, scammers, thieves and other lowlifes.
Ben: We work hard to make sure honest people can do their thing safe from those who seek to deceive and steal your money.
Cassie: Unfortunately like everywhere else, some of the locals don't have honest intentions so like everywhere else you can't trust everyone. Be careful, watch out for yourself.
Ben: This is true, we have to watch for these type of people.

Cassie: If you're not just planning to visit and actually live here, there's few things you have to know. You pretty much need identification to do a lot of things money related purely because of need for personal identification. This is especially applicable to people who aren't Jeruselem citizens, and are citizens of other countries.
Ben: Yes, it's not an easy thing to verify who one is so they have to ensure they have the right paperwork.
Cassie: It's easy if you come from the same region as Jeruselem but probably a nightmare for places we view as hostile. There's a few of those.
Ben: It's nothing personal really, it's necessary evil.

Cassie: I suggest strongly you don't turn up here with no money, it's an expensive place to live.
Ben: Yes
Cassie: So if you're playing to stay or live here so any significant period of time, there's some decisions. Buying a place here to live here is really expensive, since prime real estate is hard to find as most of country is like a sandy dessert of some description ...
Ben: Prime land here is precious. In most cases, you're best of renting not buying unless you're a Princess like her.

Cassie: Yeah, thanks for that. If you need to borrow money, it's not easy. Government ensures regulations make lenders make sure you can pay off the loan and have enough collateral in case you don't. They don't want people defaulting on loans left right and centre.
Ben: And interest rates are rather too high for my personal opinion, so loans aren't cheap in any matter.
Cassie: The good news is the pay here is relatively good compared to well comparative places, but mainly due to our high cost of living.
Ben: That would depend on the job you get too. The type of job you get determines how well paid you are. One fact, we have the best paid prostiutes pretty much.

Cassie: Yeah, thanks. Some of my friends do that job purely because of the pay. We are infamous for our ... girls. I'm not helping by appearing nude on TV all the time.
Ben: I'm not suggesting you take that profession. It's just a weird fact of this place.
Cassie: Of course there's plenty of other jobs, normal ones. Now, it is hard to get jobs here as the locals are pretty dogged on holding on their jobs.
Ben: Like everywhere else. It's easy to get low paid jobs like cleaning and plucking fruit but high skill jobs are hard to get as you need to be qualified.

Cassie: One of the more highly paid professions, is related to finanical services ... and banking.
Ben: True, good money where I come from if you're good enough to get a job.
Cassie: Another financial cost is transport on top of having somewhere to live assuming you have job or have some income from ... somewhere.
Ben: Cars here aren't exactly cheap either.

Cassie: Jeruselem doesn't want the place to turn into a sea of cars, so we don't want too many cars. And for environmental reasons too, we don't exactly have a sea of oil either.
Ben: The good news is we do have decent public transport system so in cities, one doesn't need a car. In some places, you still need a car or truck or in some cases a tank.
Cassie: If you stick to the major cities, you don't need a car. You don't need to buy a car, you can hire it.
Ben: If you don't have money, don't buy a car. This is a banker saying this.

Cassie: One thing important to finance is communications, we have pretty good Internets. It's pretty fast, fibre to most homes unless you're in a small village in the middle of whoop whoop which is something different.
Ben: That helps us expand electronic monetary systems through the country.
Cassie: In some cases, we have to use satellite or longer distance wireless Internets too. Purely due to logistics.
Ben: So some people can work from home and never need to visit a bank branch for money.

Cassie: You shouldn't have issues getting cash as there's ATMs everywhere, even crypto ones.
Ben: Althugh getting cash in parts of country is a bit trickier, due to them being in middle nowhere
Cassie: Yes, but for most people its not an issue because most people don't go there.
Ben: I guess so

Cassie: So that's it. You get an idea about financial matters in Jeruselem. We haven't covered every topic, just the basics.
Ben: Please visit, spend money here.
Cassie: See you all later.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat May 12, 2018 7:25 am

Bulls Enter Pen

There were many who speculated that Lidgley's 'resting' of both Roddy Fraser and Desya Kuznetsov was, in some way, a cover for the Kuznetsov being excluded after putting Jeremy Jaffacake in a headlock before the D2R press conference, with Fraser the sacrificial lamb to prevent the media saying Kuznetsov was paying for his 'crime'. Either way, Arjen Jensen's fine form against Dance 2 Revolution and Dalmat - scoring three of Audioslavia's five goals over the two matches and grabbing two assists to boot - has rammed home the idea that Lidgley has a real selection headache ahead of him.

With the side employing a 5-3-2 formation with the emphasis very much on parry and counter, and with the strikers expected to drop deep and push wide to maximise space and help with the defence, chances will always be few and far between, meaning the attackers need to be as lethal as possible. All four of the forwards named in Lidgley's squad seem to fit the bill.

First there's Roddy Fraser, the AFC Treason striker who, despite having missed all of World Cup 79 and being under 30, is already Audioslavia's second top goalscorer of all time, averaging a little under a goal per game for his country. Before cycle 80 he was the only Audioslavian striker to have any caps at all.

Then there's Desya Kuznetsov, the wild and unpredictable Cazadores Cathair forward initially preferred as Fraser's strike partner. Kuznetsov, still young and eager and with the size, strength and sledging skills to trouble any defence, is probably the least technically gifted of the four but arguably the most effective at turning defeat into victory.

Ciro Oljer, of Spartangrad, has come on in leaps and bounds this season, taking the UICA Champions Cup by storm as the Eurans have powered towards the latter stages. Fans demanded he play, and he has, slowly turning himself from a bench player to a rotation system between himself and the two above.

Arjen Jensen's transfer to Telecontare at the tender age of 16 raised a few eyebrows last season, but the striker has set about forcing his way into the first team for both club and country and now, with three goals in three international starts, must be put into consideration for a starting place by Wilf Lidgley.

With two dead rubbers coming up, Lidgley will experiment with different combinations. Fraser, seemingly nursing permanent niggles, will most likely be rested. He will, assuredly, play a role in the playoffs.

by **Schottia** » Sat May 12, 2018 7:58 am

Enrico Hanson-Conavacio

Part Fourteen.

The Haunting

The medical offices, Harbour Hill Stadium, Handon

Claire Hanson opened the door of her surgery carefully, as if she expected to be met by some inrushing toxic gas, or a swarm of flesh devouring insects. The truth of the matter, however, was that she had an appointment with Corinne Martel-Burns. Given the family she had, you'd think that the Schottia Physio would be well prepared to deal with someone with Connie's idiosyncrasies, but the fact was that no amount of training could prepare any individual for "CMB."

Claire could litterally be opening the door to anything. Nothing, yet nothing that the Directus striker could do would surprise her anymore. Being in a position of care, and confidence, Claire had been treated to a few insights into Connie's inner workings over the years. It was Claire's job to ensure that all the players were physically up to the job, and with some squad members that was easier than with others. She wasn't proud of it, but she had helped cover up several off Connie's issues in the past, many of them would have seen the 26-year-old send home on the spot, had Lionel Mah caught wind of it. Whether it was drunkenness, evidence of drug use, or unexplainable bruised and injuries - Claire know she should have reported it, but she hadn't

'Conn– ' Claire froze with terror as she peered round the door, down towards the waiting area. 'No... No! It can't be...' But is was.

Sat beside her patient, clad in a tunic of brilliant white, was the ghostly figure of her father. Connie and Mr Hanson turned to face her at the same time, and there was something in the footballer's expression that told Claire instantly that she wasn't hallucinating. Claire had seen a few interesting things during her time in football and she wasn't shocked easily. She had visited the Dreamed Realm, watched her team play against bears, her son's best friend was even a Pegusus; but there was something about coming face to face with the spirit of her father that shook her to her very foundations.

'Claire. Sweetheart.' Mr Hanson said at last, and it was obvious from the way he spoke that he had a lump in his throat. 'Can we have a wee chat..?' She nodded slowly, mouth slightly open, eyes lacking focus. She moved out of the way, while Connie and the spirit of her father slipped past her and through the surgery door.

Claire said nothing for a long time. Mr Hanson kept his eyes on the carpet tiles, and Connie occupied a seat in the corner of the room, both looking apologetic. The atmosphere was a wall of silence, smothering everything in the room, as the two arrivals gave her as much time as she needed to deal with the intrusion.

'You bastard.' She eventually spat, stepping across the room and swinging her fists at the apparition. Everyone in the room would have been happy for some of the blows to land home - just to kill the tension - but instead, Claire's hands simply whizzed through him in a series of unsatisfying swishes. 'You bastard, you bastard! You went off and left us when we needed you!'

There was an agonising ten-minute wait, while Claire wept on the floor of her surgery, and all the other two could do was sit there feeling guilty for having brought this into her life. Not only did Claire not believe in ghost, but she wouldn't have even called herself religious. The idea that her father, who died five years previous, could walk through her door, had been an impossibility until that morning.

'See...' Connie said, pointed down at her Physiotherapist crouched on the floor. 'I told you this would happen.' Her voice seemed to break some sort of a spell that had been cast on the room, allowing Claire a way into the conversation, which perhaps didn't involve confronting raw grief head-on.

'You told him this would happen, did you?' Claire was laughing, but it was the laugh of someone clinging to their sanity with their fingernails. 'A nice chat on the bus over here... Chatting to the spirit of my dead father... just as you do!' She looked between the two of them, but neither was willing to return her gaze. 'So - do I not get some sort of an explanation as to why the two of you came to be sitting here..!'

Mr Hanson opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure how best to start. 'Well it's not that interesting a story really– '

'NOT THAT INTERESTING A FUCKING STORY!!!' Claire screamed with a tone, and intensity that would be hard to match. 'YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! I WATCHED YOU DIE! I WAS AT YOUR FUNERAL!' Mr Hanson tried to motion for calm, but it was obviously ignored. 'And you have the cheek to walk in here and tell me it's not an interesting story!?!'

'He's my guardian angel... apparently.' Connie put, with an unhelpful shrug of her shoulder. Claire's ire bounced between the two of them; it was hard to tell whom she was most angry with.

'Her guardian angel!' Claire pointed at Connie, but her eyes were on her father. 'What about me, huh? I suppose I'm only your daughter, god forbid you could come back and take care of me! What makes her so special?' She was red in the face as she looked at the former Tihon striker with the worse jealousy imaginable.

'It doesn't work that way.' Mr Hanson pleaded, not really sure how he could salvage the situation at present. 'I don't get to choose. And besides, her need is greater. Look at her! She's a fucking mess!' Connie shrugged once more, but this time in acceptance, there was no point denying the obvious.

'Look.' Mr Hanson added, upbeat that he might be finally getting through to his daughter. 'I'm only back here cause I made a mess of it the first time. I was meant to help put her on the straight and narrow, two Mid-Winter's ago, and I went and ballsed it up.' He smiled with all the humility his grumpy old face could muster. 'I was a shite dad, and it turns out I'am a shite guardian angel too.'

'He was fucking dreadful to be fair.' Connie agreed. 'Yesterday I drank five pints of lager in two hours at Chromatik City Airport. And where was the cunt? Sitting in his marble-villa in heaven, with his feet up, drinking malt whisky.' The prospect of being able to call Mr Hanson a cunt and get away with it was too tempting. While he might have been annoyed beneath the surface, the spirit said nothing.

The plan worked, as Clair softened a little. 'Well I see death did nothing to improve your parenting skills.'

'Nope, still shite, ye're not missing anything.' He spread his arms wide. 'I'm not even supposed to be here, I'm breaking every rule in the book to speak to you.'

'Then what are you doing here?' Claire asked, as the question entered her head for the first time. She watched her father and Connie exchange glances, before the latter got up with a nod of the head and made her way outside. Once the wayward striker was on the other side of the door and it was firmly closed behind her, Mr Hanson made to speak.

'I just don't want to see ye chucking yer life away.' He said, genuinely concerned.

'What do you mean– '

'Look, I can see what's going on.' He cut her off. 'I know you don't think I'm there, but I do check in on you from time to time, and I now your struggling - I know the kids can be a drain– '

'The mirror in the Fiddlers' Bar...?' Claire asked, closing her eyes as she already knew the answer to her own question. Suddenly dawned on her what this was all about.

'For example.' Mr Hanson confirmed that he had indeed been in attendance that afternoon.

'Listen, dad... Colin Donaldson and I.. that was a mistake, nothing serious. It was just– '

'Sweetheart.' The spirit held up a hand to stop her. 'I'm not here to judge ye - fucksake - I'm the last person who should be judging anyone. I just wanted to come here and remind ye that ye've got a family that loves ye, and that's not something to throw away. Yer mother and I had our ups and downs, but... Just...' Mr Hanson shook his bald, stubbly head. It was true, he was a shite guardian angel.

'Dad I know what you're trying to say, and you're right.' The spirit was grateful that she did, because he didn't have a clue. 'I'd already come to a decision anyway.'

Mr Hanson nodded his head, relieved that he'd somehow had a measure of success. It was just a shame he had to be dead for five years, before he'd finally been able to say something supportive to his own daughter. Maybe if he'd turned the football off for two seconds and paid a blind bit of attention to her growing up, he would have noticed that she had her head screwed on.

'Dad.' Claire said finally, as Mr Hanson was preparing to say a quiet good bye and head towards the door. 'You might be a terrible guardian angel - possibly even the world's worse - but you took a took a risk coming here, just to help me. You're a good man.'

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:22 am

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIA • OONTAZ DERT LI NG • COPPER CUPRUM • TRENDSTART • FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

WORLD CUP 80 QUALIFIERS: ABANHFLEFT VS DARKMANIA
By Malik Qazizadah

The Abanhfleft women's national football team congratulate each other following a romping victory against Darkmania in the World Cup 80 qualifiers. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Andros Tasasa)

ROSENPFELBLATZ, MEZALADBYI - Abanhfleft exacted a modicum of revenge against the Darkmania in terms of the Lady Revolutionaries' qualification hopes by not only beating the Darkmania team on home soil but also beating Darkmania comprehensibly.

It was probably more than fitting that it was the Rosenpfelblatz City players on the national team roster that brought about the Lady Revolutionaries' victory as the Fleftics hosted Darkmania at the Aeroflot Stadium in Rosenpfelblatz, Markovsky Province, and the home fans were in fine singing form as the home players thoroughly dismantled the opposition.

As had been the theme for the Fleftics ever since Ginny Katesmar took over and steered the Lady Revolutionaries back on the right path towards qualification, Abanhfleft got off to a flying start and were quickly rewarded for their efforts with a penalty after Përsater practically flew into the legs of Alexandra Rousseau to stop the forward from scoring a goal, much to the displeasure of the home faithful. Rousseau herself stepped up to take the spot kick, and a cleverly taken Panenka resulted in Abanhfleft drawing first blood against Darkmania.

Rousseau found herself on the score sheet once again just nine minutes later as she managed to overpower Yürang and rifle in a shot into the bottom right corner straight under the armpit of Ërimär, and it was soon a case of Darkmania just being unable to mount a meaningful challenge against the Fleftics, who now had the momentum going for them and simply looked unbeatable on the day.

That being said, even the Lady Revolutionaries themselves were unable to mount any scoring chances worthy of the name for the rest of the first half, although Chelsea Stuart, a player well known for finding the back of the net in the Aeroflot Stadium almost as much as Alex Rousseau does, almost did achieve just that but her attempt chip shot over the Darkmania goalkeeper flew just over the crossbar.

The second half, or at least the first four minutes of it, was an exact replica of the first five minutes of the first half in that Alex Rousseau scored a goal, although this time she didn't have to go to the penalty spot to get the goal to complete her hat trick. Clever passing from Lea Choi allowed Rousseau to nip in just beyond the defensive line to smash in her hat trick goal from just inside the box.

Rousseau would have at least one more chance to add to her goal tally before she was finally taken out of the game to be replaced by her Rosen City Ladies teammate and strike partner Karen Villegas, who made her presence known almost immediately by slamming a header right against the joint between crossbar and post, and Villegas would finally tally her first goal in the game four minutes after her introduction with a carbon copy of Rousseau's third goal, taken just inside the box and smashed into the roof of the net.

It would be a third Rosenpfelblatz City Ladies player in Britt Hanokssen-Hanks who would complete the absolute rout of Darkmania by going for goal from over thirty meters away, and while the ball was actually on target, it was the deflection off of Bernsüng's back which would eventually spoof the Darkmanian goalkeeper and see him completely wrong-footed and rooted to the spot as he watched the ball nestle into the back of his net.

However, it wouldn't end all smiles for the Lady Revolutionaries, and Victoria Carter lost her clean sheet at nearly the final kick of the game when Jordana Valentine, who also knows a thing or two about scoring in the Aeroflot Stadium (for club Ludogorets Markovsky Ladies), ended up bundling the ball into her own goal while trying to defend from a rare Darkmania counterattack.

Abanhfleft women's national team manager Ginny Katesmar: "We only have two more games left to play and still our fate is in our hands. Petroslovania and Savojarna are tough very tough matches to end these qualifiers. It's not a dream scenario for any of us but we now know what we have to do to achieve our goal, and that is to win the rest of our games so that we stand a chance of making it to the playoff spots. That's about our best hope right now."

                 ABANHFLEFT 5 - 1 DARKMANIA
ROUSSEAU (5' pen, 14', 49')       VALENTINE (89' og)
             VILLEGAS (65')
                BRITT (80')

DARKMANIA
GK: 1 Ërimär
RB: 3 Yürang
RCB: 4 Tërman █ (Bernsüng █ - 61')
LCB: 5 Lërnÿn
LB: 6 Ërim
RM: 8 Përsater █
RCM: 9 Årdalberg
LCM: 10 Rånde
LM: 11 Vërnspern
RS: 12 Tÿrn
LS: 13 Mjøe █ (Änderm - 85')

ABANHFLEFT
GK: 1 Carter
RB: 2 Osgood
CB: 4 Jackson
LB: 3 Valentine
RM: 5 Maynard (Erin - 73')
LM: 6 Choi █
RW: 7 Prescott █
CAM: 10 Torres (Britt - 81')
LW: 8 Singh
RS: 9 Stuart
LS: 11 Rousseau (Villegas - 61')

MATCH STATS
Possession
Abanhfleft: 55%
Darkmania: 45%
Shots
Abanhfleft: 21 (13 on target)
Darkmania: 9 (3 on target)
Corners
Abanhfleft: 10
Darkmania: 4
Fouls
Abanhfleft: 20
Darkmania: 15

by **Free Republics** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:27 am

Sporting World

Republican National Soccer Team, LLC Stands Strong Against Drawkland and Electrum, Keeps Playoff Hopes Alive
By: Nova Hellstrom-Hancock

Never before have the flaws of the 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw system been more blatant than in group 8 of World Cup 80 qualifying. With 2 matches remaining for all sides, Republican National Soccer Team, LLC is sitting in fourth place thanks to an epidemic of draws. However, they have nothing on Northwest Kalactin, who have drawn a grand total of 11 matches so far and sit in a distant 7th place in the group despite only having lost 3 times. Thus, if qualifying ended today, a team with 5 losses would actually be headed to the playoffs while two teams that only lost 3 times would be sitting at home. If the World Cup were using 2 points for a win, which is functionally equivalent to the way draws are treated in football (OOC Note: In the Free Republics, "football" refers to gridiron.), the Republican National Team would currently be tied on points for 3rd place.

The poor performance of the Republican National Soccer Team, LLC squad in qualifying this year mirrors their poor performance in the group stage of the Independents Cup, where they finished third in their group and barely advanced to the knockout rounds. However, for some reason, Soccer General Theriault's teams always seem to show up for knockout rounds. Just ask their Independents Cup opponents and just ask those who faced the previous generation in past World Cup knockout round matches. However, Soccer General Theriault dismisses suggestions by many in the media that his team is under-performing because they've become arrogant after qualifying for last year's World Cup and winning the tournament whose previous winners, including reigning champs Schottia, have dominated the World Cup in recent years.

Not that long, it appeared unlikely that this squad would advance to the World Cup but after Johnny Smith's 83rd minute free kick goal lifted them to a 3-2 victory at Drawkland, they had a renewed hope. These hopes appeared to have been snuffed out against Electrum after Ralf Schroder mishandled an Electrum corner to put the team down early. Electrum's goalkeeper and defense, whose identities are currently unknown because Electrum has uncharacteristically failed to announce their roster for this cycle, managed to put the match into a deep freeze, showing the experience of a former World Cup champion who knew they were facing a young and dangerous opponent with the potential to pull off an upset. Wisely, they recognized that the lapse in judgment of a Republican defender was a lucky accident for them and went out of their way to magnify its importance. Then, after halftime, Olympic Stadium in Baseton was suddenly flooded with a deluge of heavy rain as it seemed that the home side's qualifying hopes were fated to die on this pitch.

As the second half of the match progressed, the conditions on the pitch progressively deteriorated. Then, in the 73rd minute, Republican striker Love Holm slipped on the muddy field and did not get back up. Lecha Arsanukayev intentionally kicked the ball out of bounds so hard that it landed in the upper deck, permitting an ambulance to drive onto the pitch and take the star Republican striker to the hospital. The visiting team and the referee protested the decision to drive the ambulance onto the pitch but Sir Koby Theodore and Soccer General Theriault were insistent that their star player receive immediate medical attention and the referee reluctantly permitted Holm to be removed from the pitch via ambulance and substituted. By the time the match resumed, it was already into added time so the official just added 20 minutes of additional time onto the clock as Steven Bosters took to the pitch wearing special shoes that provided better footing in mud. Moments later, Zak Josef would win the ball from one of Electrum's strikers and boot it long for Bosters. Bosters, with a better footing compared to everybody else on the pitch, was able to outrun the Electrum defenders, obtain possession of the ball and get a 1-on-1 opportunity against their keeper. He faked a shot and the keeper dove to the left to stop it then Bosters kicked the ball, with his weaker foot, to the other side of the goal and scored easily. Although around 10 minutes were supposed to be remaining in added time, the referee would call time on the match shortly thereafter but not before giving Electrum a shot at a match-winning goal.

An infuriated crowd, realizing that the match had been stopped early when they thought a Republican win was still obtainable, began charging the pitch as the referee and the visiting players fled. After the match, doctors at Baseton General Hospital announced that Love Holm had only minor injuries and would make a full recovery in time for the next match against Ceyesca. With matches remaining against Ceyesca and The Macabees, there appears to be a clear path forward for the Republican National Team to make the playoffs, if Aggrey-Fynn Land falters in either of their remaining matches. Should the team fail to reach the playoffs, Soccer General Theriault has suggested the possibility of a more aggressive schedule in the coming off-season to better prepare the team for next year's World Cup. The failure of Republicans to qualify for the World Cup would also likely lead to increased interest in the World Bowl, where the Republican National Football Team is hoping to build off of an unexpected 4th place finish.

Nova Hellstrom is the editor-in-chief of Sporting World, the coach for the Republican National Soccer Team, LLC Cheerleading Squad and one of the most decorated champions in the history of the (old) Republican Wrestling Conglomerate where she won the World Ladies Championship on 7 different occasions. At one time, she was a part-time international sports correspondent for Sporting World and a co-chair of the World Cup 68 Seeding Committee. She got her start covering high school soccer for the Petrograd Times before working for Sporting World. At one time, she played girls soccer for Petrograd Christian School. She was Sporting World's correspondent at the 27th Di Bradini Cup, the 52nd Baptism of Fire and during qualifying for the 65th World Cup before transitioning into a successful career as a professional wrestler. She lives in Falatulu with her ~~slave~~ husband Kieran.

by **Sargossa** » Sat May 12, 2018 9:42 am

SSM | Sargossan State Media
International Edition - Sport

On The Cusp

Blanco Borrayo reports;

Oh to be a fan of Farfadillis, Schottia, Pasarga or Eura. What it must be like to sit through a routine and drama-free campaign. Not for them home and away defeats to unranked Stetzra. They simply turn up, bash the opposition about a bit and book their hotels in Starblaydia or the Equestrian States. This is clearly not the Sargossan way. Instead the Corsairs were down in eighth place not so long ago. A change in coach ensued and since then they have slowly clawed their way back into some kind of contention.

Round sixteen of the qualification campaign saw North New South Wales arrive in Sargossa off the back of a poor run of form. The Atlantian side had started well, with only top seeded Brenecia ahead of them in the first few rounds but since then points have proven harder to come by. So far had they fallen that a defeat would see them doomed to watch the World Cup on telly back home. Against them was a Sargossan side fresh from an impressive win in Brenecia, albeit a Brenecian side already assured of qualification and with their foot well and truly off the gas.

Arguably it was the visitors who started the stronger but football can be a cruel game and it was Sargossa who took the lead courtesy of a Zevallos freekick that took a slight deflection off the wall which contrived to completely wrong foot the keeper. It was a goal that served to settle some nerves and the second soon followed as Marí took advantage of a defence backing off him to fire in low and hard from the edge of the box. But North New South Wales got some reward for their earlier play when Carl Perez lost his marker and swept Will Martin’s cross in at the near post to halve the deficit.

Playing games at altitude in Torreón has been called a cynical ploy in the past but it also happens to be an effective one. In nine games played in the Chaloco Mountains Sargossa have won seven and drawn two. There had even been talk of constructing a 70,000 seater stadium on the outskirts of the city as a semi-permanent venue for the national side. That idea was scuppered after huge backlash from fan groups and Soluca-centric powerbrokers alike. Instead El Torrigal gets trotted out for occasional qualifiers. Usually to good effect.

Perhaps it was the altitude, perhaps it was normal fatigue or perhaps it was the fact that their team is, at best, limited. Whatever the reason the visitors faded in the second half, badly. Matías Cáceres twice escaped from covering defenders to double the Sargossan lead before a towering Mayoral header from Zevallo’s cross made it five. Still the Corsairs poured forward, perhaps mindful of the goal difference that could yet prove a crucial factor in who makes the playoffs. A sixth looked increasingly likely as the visitors waned dramatically and it was Alfredo Valenzuela who administered the coup de grâce, passing the ball into the net following a cutback from man of the match Alonzo Zevallos.

Alongside the cheers for each Sargossan goal were equally loud shouts for goals going in quite some distance away. Because over in Juvencus the Cup of Harmony holders were having a nightmarish time at home to New Lusitania and the Algarves. At the top of the group Brenecia have moved on to 40 points after a win at upstarts Stetzra. Sargossa, thanks to that Juvencus loss, are now in second place. Tobiasia, winners in Olastor, are level on points in third. Juvencus have dropped to fourth and both New Lusitania and the Algarves and Stetzra are just about hanging in there in fifth and sixth respectively. For North New South Wales, Lochario, Indusse and Olastor the campaign is officially over.

   Group 4                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brenecia                          16   13   1   2    37   13  +24    40   Q
 2 Sargossa                          16    7   5   4    30   20  +10    26
 3 Tobiasia                          16    7   5   4    33   29   +4    26
 4 Juvencus                          16    7   4   5    34   30   +4    25
 5 New Lusitania and the Algarves    16    5   5   6    28   27   +1    20
 6 Stetzra                           16    5   5   6    17   21   −4    20
 7 North New South Wales             16    5   4   7    27   28   −1    19
 8 Lochario                          16    5   3   8    24   35  −11    18
 9 Indusse                           16    3   7   6    27   36   −9    16
10 Olastor                           16    2   3  11    16   34  −18     9

But Juvencus fans need not despair just yet. A positive result in Lochario will see them reclaim a playoff spot with Sargossa facing up to Tobiasia in the penultimate round of matches. Whisper it but a Sargossan win would almost certainly assure the Corsairs of a playoff berth, thanks to what would be a three point lead and a superior goal difference going into the final round. A round in which Sargossa host New Lusitania and the Algarves and Tobiasia face an unenviable trip to Brenecia.

by **Zwangzug** » Sat May 12, 2018 10:12 am

"Sometimes," said Lucas, "it's just like, it could have been worse, you know?"

That wasn't what the others heard, by and large. He knew what he was saying, but Kim was more or less the only one who didn't do double-takes at him when he talked. He tried to remember whether he'd been taken aback by her accent before, but hadn't really come up with anything; he'd just been called up at the beginning of qualifiers, and it wasn't like she spoke much to begin with.

"You mean, you could have not recovered quickly?" she said. "Or at all?"

"Yeah," he shivered. "I was scared."

"So were we."

Empathy, coming from her? "Thanks."

"Not for you," Kim amended. "Scared that we'd just be one of those stupid countries that's like, 'everybody needs to get their act together and win it for our fallen comrade.' We win for ourselves, or not at all."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "That's the spirit, I guess."

*

"You looked good out there!" Martin beamed.

Subroto blinked. "If you're trying to flirt with me, I'm not, like, into left-backs."

"No no no! I mean, your intangible stats were good."

"My intangible...stats? Is that even a thing?"

"Sure! Efficiency--you weren't running all over the place, but you made good qualitative use of the steps you took. Throw-ins never overshot. No dangerous collisions."

"I'm just glad I got to play."

"So how do you feel, physically?"

"Uh, I'll get back to you on that," said Subroto, gulping and sprinting for the bathroom.

Martin blinked. "Was it something I said?"

"Probably," said Heather, "we're all allergic to your spiels."

"Well, hey, maybe if you paid attention more you wouldn't have tried so many needless tackles..."

*

"Hey," said Spencer. "Coach?"

"What's up?" said Tsereteli. She was pleased with what she'd seen of him. Of course, he was Zwangzug's greatest scoring threat by some distance, and his performance on the day had shown it. But moreover, he didn't seem as...unstable...a figure as some of the rumors from Zwischen had put it.

Then again, she also had Lucas' nonsense to decipher, Martin's well-intentioned but tedious monologues to endure, and the goalkeepers' and Ephesian players' grudging tolerance of each other to enforce. Compared to all that, how bad could Spencer be?

"Yezur were...hosts on Matchday 4, right?"

She glanced over at her calendar. "Yes, that's correct. We lost 2-1."

"I know, I know," he said impatiently. "But they don't, like, exist."

"That's the way of the world," she said gently. To be honest, she had little more understanding of the machinations of nations going grey and white than any of her players did. But she had to look confident.

"So shouldn't we get, like, hazard pay for going there?"

"I don't think that's how compensation exactly works."

"But these are dangerous conditions! Exposing players to the voids of nothingness can't be good, never mind the results! Doesn't the World Cup Committee have something to say about this?"

"Uh, I think the World Cup Committee has other stuff on its mind," Tsereteli bluffed. Considering what she knew about some of its bygone leadership, it was a wonder they kept their own house/sovereign nation in order at times.

"Well, I think at the very least we should have nonexistence insurance! Is that in our bylaws?"

"I don't think we have bylaws."

"Then we should! Even if there's no formal pay for this, us players have got to defend our rights, you know?"

"You've got to defend something, that's for sure," she muttered.

Spencer ignored her, pacing off and fomenting his complaints. So, there was her striker's flip side, she supposed. It could be worse.

(Edit post-qualifiers so I have records: let's go with Gleason 20 and 82, Ge 45+1)

by **Mercedini** » Sat May 12, 2018 11:01 am

World Cup: State Of The Race
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to Mercedini Sports Daily's coverage of qualification for the 80th World Cup hosted by Starblaydia and the Equestrian States. We have two matches left to play in the qualification schedule at the number of nations left in contention dwindles significantly from the original pool of 152 nations who had a possibility of winning the entire thing a couple of weeks ago. Most of those nations have since been eliminated leaving serious contenders and late challengers remaining in their respective groups. A number of nations have already confirmed their spot in the World Cup group stage draw including la Vherderoja in our very own Group 13 following a near perfect sequence of results up to now. As we keep harping on about, there are four nations fighting for two playoffs with another twist in the tale following the sixteenth match day, so let's digest where we are in the state of the race.

   Group 13                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts   H    A     
 1 Farfadillis                       16   15   0   1    63   22  +41    45  0-3  2-4
 2 Mercedini                         16   10   2   4    36   27   +9    32
 3 New Gazi                          16    9   4   3    36   22  +14    31  3-3  3-3
 4 Ko-oren                           16    8   5   3    28   22   +6    29  1-0   -
 5 Acronius                          16    9   2   5    38   27  +11    29  4-2  2-3
 6 Octinstine                        16    5   2   9    27   35   −8    17  3-2  1-0
 7 Stegosauristan                    16    4   1  11    20   37  −17    13  1-2  5-2
 8 The Sherpa Empire                 16    3   3  10    16   29  −13    12  1-0  2-0
 9 Cathaldonia                       16    3   2  11    20   46  −26    11  NXT  5-2
10 Austenesia                        16    2   3  11    22   39  −17     9  2-1  2-1

Changes high and low in the group table following another round of results. but there is only one place which we are focusing on and that is the race for the playoffs which saw everyone from 2nd to 5th change places with Mercedini and Ko-oren moving up and New Gazi and Acronius moving down in a dramatic change up to the play-off race. Mercedini's victory over Acronius meant the Golden Eagles gave themselves a massive advantage over their main rivals in the play-off race with their win coupled with Acronius' corresponding loss plus New Gazi and Ko-oren dropping points to lower ranked opposition means Mercedini go three point clear and could potentially wrap up their playoff place with a favourable set of results tomorrow, more on that later on.

No more developments at the top or bottom of the table, as the teams who have their fate already sealed have not moved around all that much at the round out the campaign attempting to gather a final batch of points which will help their ranks and in future cycles. With all that out of the way and only six points left to claim in qualification, let's analyse the matches that all of the playoff quartet have to play.

#     Nation                            pts.    GD          MD17             MD18                    Prob' of Play-offs
2nd   Mercedini                          32     +9          Octinstine (H)   Ko-oren (A)             80%
3rd   New Gazi                           31     +14         Farfadillis (H)  Austenesia (A)          40%
4th   Ko-oren                            29     +6          Acronius (A)     Mercedini (H)           40%
5th   Acronius                           29     +11         Ko-oren (H)      The Sherpa Empire (A)   40%

As you can see, here are all of the teams still in contention for the two playoff spots, the points they have the final two opponents they need to play before they are sure of their fate in the group. There is plenty of overlap in the upcoming fixtures with two matches being played between members of the four rivals in the race for the playoff places. Mercedini look to have the easiest two matches of the four, as they play two matches against teams ranked below them in the table and have beaten before. Octinstine and Ko-oren are those opponents with out pundits expecting the Golden Eagles to get four points from them, including a win at home and then rounding out qualification with a draw against Ko-oren.

New Gazi currently hold onto the second playoff spot and would go into the playoff draw as a non-seeded team as a team who finished third in their group if the qualification campaign ended now. They effectively need to cancel out any gains made by those teams around them and limit any net gains to two points or less. They have the most varied duo of games, playing both top and bottom of the table which is expected to bring mixed results for the Pot 2 team. We are fairly confident they will get three points from their games in total, meaning Mercedini could be safely in the playoffs should these results go as expected, although anything could happen then desperacy and apathy combine at either ends on the pitch.

Ko-oren currently sit in third on head-to-head rankings and sit two points outside of third place, meaning they still have work to do when it comes to getting the points they need to stay afloat. They have by far the most difficult set of matches as they are both against main play-off rivals in Acronius and Mercedini, meaning any result for or against them could spell big news for their qualification campaign. With these matches so hard to predict given the varied forms these teams have experienced throughout the campaign. Ko-oren goes into the match as a real dark horse, with two wins potentially propelling them to a solid 2nd place if other results go their way.

Finally, Acronius were safely in third place before their 4-2 loss away at the Sports City Stadium in Mercedini, they have a slightly easier set of matches to play with Ko-oren and The Sherpa Empire waiting before them, but a recent dip in form has seen their fortunes drop, meaning they now have it all to do. Both of their games are perfectly winnable, but they will need plenty of results to go their way against teams above them before they have a shot at the playoff places. A loss against Ko-oren would mean they would be eliminated with a game to spare, with a draw eliminating both teams should Mercedini and New Gazi win. There's plenty to digest with their next match either giving them a foothold in the playoff places, or eliminating them entirely from the competition.

So plenty to digest as the curtain is beginning to close on the first phase of qualification, it will be all eyes on the result against Octinstine plus another on the result around the multiverse as Mercedini could potentially wrap up an extension to their campaign with a game to spare. We may be off with our prediction but the number of routes that Mercedini have compared to their main rivals mean they can afford to slip up and still qualify for the play-offs, given the number of matches between rivals. We will see whether our predictions come to fruition tomorrow, we hope you have your fingers crossed!

by **Ko-oren** » Sat May 12, 2018 11:45 am

World Cup Qualification almost at an end

And what an end it will be. It looks like Ko-oren will be in the mix all the way until the end, even if our chances aren't the greatest. Mercedini are ahead in points, New Gazi in H2H, but it looks like we might fight off Acronius.

Meanwhile, fans are looking forward to the start of next season already. Transfers have ended in Ko-oren, and some of our national team members have found a new contract with a new team: Russell Swadling has moved to an Alara squad that should challenge for first place. Katashi have signed Heliodoro Araujo to add to their group of national team players, though they will need some help to get the championship - but they should get to at least a Globe Cup spot. By far the biggest signing was Lynn Holstege to Maethoru, who want the glory back that they were used to such a long time ago.

Before we're there, however, we get to see nailbiter after nailbiter in the last few matches of Group 13.
Matchday 17 will have:
Mercedini vs Cathaldonia, which will likely give them a victory - which means they are pretty surely in the playoffs.
Acronius vs. Ko-oren, which will pit the champions of the away game versus the team that needs a win to stay in the conversation.
New Gazi vs. Farfadillis, which will determine New Gazi's attitude for the last game. New Gazi were second for a while, with excellent papers for the playoffs, until they all of a sudden started to drop points. And with arguably the hardest game so close to the end - a mistake here could see them drop to fourth with one match to go.

And then, on to matchday 18:
Austenesia vs. New Gazi, which means that New Gazi plays the easiest opponent right after the hardest one. Even if that easy opponent is probably the reason why the Dragonflies miss the playoffs entirely... Ko-oren recorded two points from two games against Austenesia.
The Sherpa Empire vs. Acronius, which gives Acronius a fairly winnable game on the last day, even though the Sherpa Empire could be a surprisingly hard team to beat. They scored a few against Farfadillis, beat New Gazi, but also lost to the minnows. Dragon slayers?
Ko-oren vs. Mercedini, which gives the Dragonflies two games against direct rivals for the playoffs after one another. And it's a home game, so you know that Ko-oren will struggle.

It can hardly get more exciting than Group 13, where first place has long been decided but four close teams could all take the playoffs by storm. Let's look at the other groups though, because there are some good ones out there.

Group 1
Ok, pack it up, we already found a closer group than ours. Like our group, first place has long been decided, but instead of four teams, there are six teams still with a possibility to get to the playoffs. Yuezhou and Bostopia will need a miracle, but they're still in. Really though, it's Eastfield Lodge's to lose, with Eshan, Natanians and Nosts and North Prairie all going for that third place.

Group 2
Vilita and Savojarna have this group locked up, and Abanhfleft and West Angola are left to take third place. West Angola just won a huge three points against Savojarna, otherwise Abanhfleft probably would have taken third.

Group 3
Four teams left to join Nephara and Audioslavia, or rather, join Audioslavia to the playoffs. Lisander and Flardania should take the fight until the end.

Group 4
Another group like ours: Brenecia has qualified long ago and have a 14-point cushion. Sargossa, Tobiasia and Juvencus will have to decide who finish second and third, with two more teams barely hanging on - but they have a chance.

Group 5
This one is pretty much done. It's Mriin's to lose, they should take first. Chromatika will finish second, and Kalumba will have to actively try to lose third to Garifunya in order to miss the playoffs.

Group 6
See Group 5, but with South Covello in first, Darmen in second, and Baker Park and Kita-Hinode in possible third. Here, too, there's a big gap between the current third and fourth.

Group 7
I'm seeing a pattern. Either it's a 'Group 2' group, where everything's nearly decided, or it's a 'Group 1' group, with one far too strong team and a bunch of others close together to fight for scraps. In this case, Eura's got it, Apox is pretty much there, and Abaja, Tzerinn, Taeshan and Nova Anglicana are left to decide third. That's a shame, any tournament that has both us and Taeshan and Nova Anglicana in it is a great tournament. If not the World Cup, maybe we should aim for the Cup of Harmony, all three of us. Just to be together like in the old times.

Group 8
It's a 'Group 2'. Electrum and Drawkland should have a fun fight for first (FFFF), while the Free Republics will have to do everything they can to keep Aggrey-Fynn Land from second place.

Group 9
This is a new pattern, I guess. Barring any divine intervention, it's Pasarga, Qasden and Soltsteed, in that order. Jeckland shouldn't count itself out just yet, but they can't afford the smallest mistake.

Group 10
This one is a 'Group 2', with Ethane in first, Turori in second, and a group of nations battling for third, of which Banija should take that with their three point gap between them and Jeruselem.

Group 11
Direct qualification for the World Cup is 'wide open', meaning that Ceni looks very likely to get it, Yesopalitha, Buyan and Tumbra will all need miracles, but even Kandorith might still surprise and take third from their current 5th place.

Group 12
Again, a new pattern. A 'Group 12' means that you shouldn't have to watch it, matches just don't matter anymore. Except if you want to know the seeding for the playoffs between Super-Llamaland and Maryloupe, but otherwise, don't bother with Group 12.

Group 13
This one looks familiar. Farfadillis is just too strong, and a few nations might grab playoff spots: Mercedini, New Gazi, Ko-... this one's ours. I have to say, looking at all of these groups, our group is pretty damn exciting. If your fifth place can still grab second and it wouldn't be a very far-fetched scenario, you've got a fun group.

Group 14
Valanora and 95X have put an Atlantian Oceanian stranglehold on this one, with Damukuni likely finishing third. They need a point to secure the playoffs, that is.

Group 15
Cosumar in first, needing four points to stay there. Barunia, Valladares and HUElavia are left to fight for both playoff spots, which is honestly a more fun battle to watch than whether Cosumar will stay in first.

And now, to finish it all off; dividing these groups into Fun Tiers so you know what to watch and what to just let happen.

Terrible tier - Just let this pass you by. Everything's done and dusted, save your energy and time for more interesting groups:
2, 9, 10, 12

If you've got nothing better to do tier - Might still have some important matches, but overall, we've got the point of this group.
5, 6, 8, 11, 14, 15

Really exciting tier - We've got the general idea of it, but many hopefuls will have to be disappointed within the next two match days.
1, 3, 4, 7, 13

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sat May 12, 2018 1:12 pm

THE TALE OF THE FLUFFY BUNNIES AND THE WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION PARTY

After Matchday 12, the fluffy bunnies had been ever so sad.

They had lost 4-2 and home to Yuezhou after both Patches and Cinnabun had been sent off for kissing opponents.

With their foreheads.

The mean and nasty referee had not been impressed at the 'fluffy bunny kiss', and had shown both of the cute little bunnies a red card.

This had made both Patches and Cinnabun sad, and soon the whole team was sad when they lost a third match. They were even sadder when they discovered that Eastfield Lodge had won again, and the fluffy bunnies had slipped to second place in Group One.

Afterwards, Wiggles agreed that this had been a low point, and that if ever the fluffy bunnies had thought of giving up on world cup qualification, it was after matchday 12. They were really, really, sad.

But then something magical happened, boys and girls!

After matchday 12, the fluffy bunnies couldn't stop winning!

They listened to Mr Tzimsces and Mr Di Bradini when they started talking about 'discipline' and other things.

Up until then, the fluffy bunnies had thought that discipline was something that involved whips and gimp masks (please don't ask your parents what this means, boys and girls), but now they knew that instead it meant things like tighter marking and not getting sent off during a match.

And gosh, it immediately began to pay off when the fluffy bunnies came from 2-0 down to defeat Eshan 3-2!

Even better, Eastfield Lodge had lost 1-3 to Yuezhou, who were claiming some awfully impressive away from home scalps, though afterwards Snickerdoodle claimed that it might have something to do with his magical Eastfield Lodge voodoo doll.

And then, even better than that, the fluffy bunnies defeated Eastfield Lodge 3-1, without any help from Snickerdoodle's magical Eastfield Lodge voodoo doll, but with lots of help from a newly disciplined back three, and some fine attacking play from Snuggles and Prince Fluffles, who liked scoring goals ever so much.

After that, the fluffy bunnies beat Vietmihn 5-3 away from home, and all of the bunnies agreed that this 'throw caution to the wind and win by scoring more goals than the opposition' lark was ever so exciting, except then Mr Tzimisces cut their carrot ration for letting in three goals, and they agreed to try even harder at the defensive discipline thing that didn't involve whips and gimp masks, but did require lots and lots of concentration over 90 minutes.

Concentrating for that long, was super hard for a fluffy bunny. But then the fluffy bunnies proved they could do it after all, by thrashing Poggers 5-1; and if Whiskers hadn't given away a penalty for tripping up Quacky Ronald when he was clean through on goal, they might have won 5-1.

Even better, Snickerdoodle's magical Eastfield Lodge voodoo doll continued to work wonders, as the fluffy bunnies' nearest rivals slipped to a 6-1 loss to North Prarie.

And with those results, the fluffy bunnies had qualified for the World Cup!

'Hurrah!' cried the fluffy bunnies, who did their best to hush up the existence of Snickerdoodle's magical Eastfield Lodge voodoo doll before anyone could find out that they had resorted to perhaps not entirely fair supernatural support for their qualification campaign.

'Hurrah!' cried Mr Tzimisces and Mr Di Bradini, who were terribly excited that they had managed to get the fluffy bunnies to focus on something for a full 90 minutes more than once.

'Hurrah!' cried the immortal dread lords Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail, who were ever so pleased to think that the fluffy bunnies had reached the World Cup.

'Hurrah!' cried the marketing men and marketing bunnies, who were hoping to make lots of money out of official fluffy bunny World Cup 80 sponsorship.

And last - but by no means least - 'Hurrah!' went all of the boys and girls who just loved the super cute, but occasionally terribly violent, fluffy bunnies, and who wanted to give them bunny love and bunny cuddles all day and all night.

And so the fluffy bunnies had a super party of celebration that lasted all night long, with lots of fresh, tasty carrots, and lots of lovely cups of tea.

And hookers.

But that's a different story.

Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, into the burrow.

THE END

by **Tobiasia** » Sat May 12, 2018 1:51 pm

Tobiasia 2-1 Olastor

The Tigers roared into a victory against Olastor which puts them equal with Sargossa in the table on points and 3rd overall.

Philips knocked the first goal with a header from a well taken corner by Zeya. Olastor came back well with a good shot to the top left corner, but Rosa Uzele made a brilliant shot from 27 yards which put them into the lead in the 85th minute.

The win means Tobiasia are now above Juvencus, but below Brenecia and below Sargossa on goal difference.

Our view
A good game at an important time, but Sheffield’s team will need to pull out all the stops to grab a qualification place, or at the very least a playoff spot.

Highscorers
•Fraser Philips: 12
•Rosa Uzele: 8
•Lee Ryans: 6
•Harry Lithgow: 2
•Sally Urtup: 2
•Arthur Slim: 1
•Flint Eastgate: 1

Most assists
•Sally Urtup: 6
•Lee Ryans: 5
•Harry Lithgow: 5
•Flint Eastgate: 5
•Arthur Slim: 4
•Fraser Philips: 2
•Rosa Uzele: 2
•Katrina Zeya: 2
•Paul Goldsmith: 1
•Frank Woods: 1

by **Vilita** » Sat May 12, 2018 4:57 pm

Jungle Cats re-claim Top Spot in Group 2

Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra, Vilita :: After opening the World Cup 80 Qualification campaign with a Matchday 2 defeat to rivals Savojarna, the Vilita National Team had been trailing the Savojar's for the entire campaign and could move no closer after a Matchday 11 draw with the 54th ranked nation in the multiverse. That would all change on Matchday 16 however with the Jungle Cats 7-1 thrashing of Spaceania which, coupled with the Savojar defeat to West Angola, saw the Vilitan National Team finally climb back atop the table and retake their World Cup 80 Finals qualification back into their own hands, knowing that four points from their final two matches would be enough to punch their ticket to a competition that, if geographical history plays any part, the Jungle Cats could be one of the favorites for.

Defenders (Apps/Goals)
11 [2] - Arocki Tadalek :: Colonial Sile
9 [2] - Kwuimekii Hentetii :: Rammsissil
9 [1] - Mileke Drokasorna :: Colonial Sile
9 [1] - Linkat Cjinder :: Yeaddin Owls AFC
8 [1] - Jirak Trikala :: Jungle Strike FC
5 [1] - Rintala Sekagaya :: Lonngeylin Coast
4 [0] - Jirijii Januaa :: Mliona-Lpaka
4 [0] - Monner Vileai :: Eastal Lunar
1 [1] - Endur Rotropii :: Marine Coast United
1 [0] - Inbekira Ajhabekk :: Iksara Daii (STR)

Forwards (Apps/Goals)
10 [1] - Nuola Brenzil :: Kionao Locals
8 [4] - Fishtii Blikala :: Marine Coast United
8 [4] - Berali Tzufarei :: Rammsissil
8 [1] - Sipke Tarala :: Lonngeylin Coast
8 [1] - Linvoi Warazil :: Jungle Strike FC
6 [4] - Tenziki Kulakao :: Yeaddin Owls
5 [3] - Nii'arala Milaaso :: Eastal Lunar
4 [1] - Kiliko Riazen :: Northern Union (BRE)
1 [1] - Kaivel Illatara :: Makosile
1 [1] - Enzoril Alabonni :: Marine Coast United

Midfielders (Apps/Goals)
11 [2] - Cavuna Aquafek :: Turoki Tide
10 [2] - Westii Yahaya :: Yeaddin Owls
9 [3] - Va'a-Rio Kiwavn :: Rammsissil
8 [2] - Jurzen Devmiko :: Rammsissil
8 [0] - Tripate Falcon :: Makosile
6 [2] - Karisto Monafog :: Lonngeylin Coast
6 [0] - Purapal Eskiiy :: Eastal Lunar
5 [2] - Kamarul Zaman :: Phraen Palace (STB)
5 [1] - Cywrenta Vlintejni :: Rammsissil
4 [2] - Polaox Torerun :: Turoki Tide
3 [0] - Ikala Mravedii :: Lonngeylin Coast
3 [0] - Tinjus Mngomeni :: Arcticala Inlet
3 [0] - Kudii Davasarii :: Cednia Beach AFC
2 [0] - Jyuola Mtalata :: Mliona-Lpaka AFC
1 [0] - Limu Katarakhna :: Eastal Lunar

Yeaddin Owls netminder Mako Canopii appeared in half of the Jungle Cats first fourteen matches with a record of 5-1-1 with just one poor performance, the nailbiting 4-3 victory over Abanhfleft on Matchday 4. Defending Vilitan League champion netminder Cilamara Issah of Lonngeylin Coast appeared in 5 matches as the Canopii-Issah duo appears set to be the primary tandem should the Vilita National Team advance to the World Cup finals. Issah posted a 4-0-1 record with one shutout and, like Canopii, one game to forget - the Matchday 6 defeat to Petroslovania where Issah conceded four times in a 3-4 defeat to the 107th ranked nation in the multiverse.

On defense, Colonial Sile's Arocki Tadalek has continued to be the rock at the back of the Vilitan defense appearing in 11 matches while also contributing a pair of goals to the cause. Pacy outside wingbacks Kwuimekii Hentetii and Linkat Cjinder have also been making life both difficult and confusing for opposing offenses.

Squad captain and former Galacticos World Player of the Year list mention Cavuna Aquafek of the Turoki Tide has taken a few matches off in the second half of the campaign, yielding to younger players in need of experience during matches against lesser opposition. This allowed Tadalek to equal Aquafek in appearing in 11 matches total during the campaign. Aquafek did play a part in Vilita's 7-1 thrashing of Spaceania, however, getting on the scoresheet in the process. Aquafek's Turoki Tide teammate Polaox Torerun has missed a large portion of the qualifying campaign recovering from injury but is expected to be fit should the Jungle Cats qualify for Starblaydia and the Equestrian States. Rammsissil's Va'a-Rio Kiwavyn leads Vilitan midfielders in goals with 3.

In attack, Tenziki Kulakao of the Yeaddin Owls continued to be Vilita's most prolific goalscorer with 4 goals in 6 appearances although youngster Nii'arala Milaaso was hot on their heels with 3 goals in 5 appearances. Marine Coast United's Fishtii Blikala and Rammsissil's Berali Tzufarei also put in four goals with Blikala-Tzufarei and Kulakao lookin like a force to be reckoned with though Kionao Locals forward Nuola Brenzil provided significant assist contributions.

A pair of youngsters made their international debut's thus far in the campaign with utility athlete Enzoril Alabonni having a memorable debut on Matchday 10 against Darkmania slotting home their first internationstatal goal in the 38th minute of a 4-2 victory. Limu Katarakhna, the Turorian qualified for the Vilita National Team who made headlines choosing to play for Vilita when Turori's National Citizen squad got off to such a horrible start in their own World Cup 80 Qualifying campaign, finally etched it in stone on Matchday 16 against Spaceania coming on as a substitute on the hour mark, sharing the load with Poloax Torerun who was just looking to regain fitness having recently returned from injury.

Vilita [4] - [2] Darkmania

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 10' Berali Tzufarei
:: 38' Enzoril Alabonni
:: 68' Rintala Sekagaya
:: 84' Linkat Cjinder

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 60%
:: Shots on Target: 11
:: Corner Kicks: 11

:: Darkmania Statistics ::
:: Possession: 40%
:: Shots on Target: 8
:: Corner Kicks: 12

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Darkmania ::
[GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua, [D.]Monner Vileai, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [ML] Westii Yahaya, [MC] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC]Karisto Monafog, [MR] Jyuola Mtalata, [FC] Enzoril Alabonni, [FC]Berali Tzufarei, [FC]Nuola Brenzil
BENCH::
[FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC]Sipke Tarala, [M]Ikala Mravedii, [M]Purapal Eskiiy, [U ]Polaox Torerun, [D]Jirak Trikala, [GK]Mako Canopii

Vilita [1] - [1] Savojarna

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 50' Cywrenta Vlintejni

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 51%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 6

:: Savojarna Statistics ::
:: Possession: 49%
:: Shots on Target: 3
:: Corner Kicks: 7

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Savojarna ::
[GK]Upsin Ajaara, [D.]Arocki Tadalek, [D.]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [D.] Jirak Trikala, [ML] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC]Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC] Cywrenta Vlintejni, [MR] Tripate Falcon, [FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [FC]Nuola Brenzil
BENCH::
[FC]Sipke Tarala, [FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [M]Jyuola Mtalata, [M]Karisto Monafog, [U ]Berali Tzufarei, [D]Jirijii Januaa, [GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua

Vilita [1] - [1] Sevmenika

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 36' Mileke Drokasorna

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 55%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 6

:: Sevmenika Statistics ::
:: Possession: 45%
:: Shots on Target: 2
:: Corner Kicks: 1

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Sevmenika ::
[GK]Nikki Tzimas, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [D.]Jirak Trikala, [D.]Mileke Drokasorna, [D.] Kwuimekii Hentetii, [ML] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC]Tripate Falcon, [MC] Cywrenta Vlintejni, [MR] Westii Yahaya, [FC]Sipke Tarala, [FC]Kiliko Riazen
BENCH::
[FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC]Nuola Brenzil, [M]Jurzen Devmiko, [M]Kudii Davasarii, [U ]Linvoi Warazil, [D]Inbekira Ajhabekk, [GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua

Vilita [2] - [2] Abanhfleft

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 20' Fishtii Blikala
:: 90' Linvoi Warazil

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 50%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 6

:: Abanhfleft Statistics ::
:: Possession: 50%
:: Shots on Target: 4
:: Corner Kicks: 6

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Abanhfleft ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [D.]Mileke Drokasorna, [D.]Jirak Trikala, [ML] Kamarul Zaman, [MC] Westii Yahaya, [MC]Jurzen Devmiko, [MR] Cavuna Aquafek, [FC] Fishtii Blikala, [FC]Nuola Brenzil, [FC]Sipke Tarala
BENCH::
[FC]Berali Tzufarei, [FC]Linvoi Warazil, [M]Purapal Eskiiy, [M]Va'a-Rio Kiwavyn, [U ]Tinjus Mngomeni, [D]Inbekira Ajhabekk, [GK]Cilamara Issah

Vilita [2] - [1] Copper Cuprum

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 16' Va'a-Rio Kiwavn
:: 86' Endur Rotropii

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 55%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 11

:: Copper Cuprum Statistics ::
:: Possession: 45%
:: Shots on Target: 3
:: Corner Kicks: 5

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Copper Cuprum ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [D.]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [D.]Arocki Tadalek, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [ML] Westii Yahaya, [MC]Tripate Falcon, [MC] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MR] Karisto Monafog, [FC]Nuola Brenzil, [FC]Sipke Tarala
BENCH::
[FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [FC]Kiliko Riazen, [M]Tinjus Mngomeni, [M]Ikala Mravedii, [U ]Jirak Trikala, [D]Monner Vileai, [GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua

Vilita [2] - [0] Petroslovania

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 39' Tenziki Kulakao
:: 45' Jurzen Devmiko

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 62%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 4

:: Petroslovania Statistics ::
:: Possession: 38%
:: Shots on Target: 3
:: Corner Kicks: 5

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Petroslovania ::
[GK]Cilamara Issah, [D.]Mileke Drokasorna, [D.]Arocki Tadalek, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [ML] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC]Tripate Falcon, [MR] Cavuna Aquafek, [FC] Berali Tzufarei, [FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [FC]Linvoi Warazil
BENCH::
[FC]Nuola Brenzil, [FC]Fishtii Blikala, [M]Cywrenta Vlintejni, [M]Kamarul Zaman, [U ]Purapal Eskiiy, [D]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [GK]Mako Canopii

Vilita [7] - [1] Spaceania

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 7' Berali Tzufarei
:: 24' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: 31' Cavuna Aquafek
:: 46' Fishtii Blikala
:: 48' Westii Yahaya
:: 51' Karisto Monafog
:: 56' Rintala Sekagaya

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 59%
:: Shots on Target: 14
:: Corner Kicks: 23

:: Spaceania Statistics ::
:: Possession: 41%
:: Shots on Target: 4
:: Corner Kicks: 5

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Spaceania ::
[GK] Mako Canopii, [D.] Arocki Tadalek, [D.] Rintala Sekagaya, [D.] Inbekira Ajhabekk, [ML] Karisto Monafog, [MC] Cavuna Aquafek, [MC] Westii Yahaya, [MC] Polaox Torerun, [MR] Tripate Falcon, [FC] Berali Tzufarei, [FC] Nii'arala Milaaso
BENCH::
[FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [FC]Fishtii Blikala, [M]Limu Katarakhna, [M]Cywrenta Vlintejni, [U ]Tlikao Muratai, [D]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [GK]Nikki Tzimas

With two games to play in World Cup 80 Qualification the Vilita Jungle Cats have assured themself at least a spot in the World Cup playoff round and can clinch a berth in the World Cup 80 finals with victories in their final two matches against Norcambria and West Angola.

Of course it was West Angola who put the Jungle Cats back atop the table with their 2-0 victory over Savojarna on Matchday 16. With West Angola also in a tight battle with Abanhfleft for the 3rd position and a place in the playoffs, they will certainly have it all to play for when they meet the Jungle Cats on Matchday 18. As such, the match against 237th ranked Norcambria on Matchday 17 may be the last chance for Vilita to experiment with younger players before presumably testing out its potential World Cup Finals - or playoff bound - roster against West Angola on the final matchday. Norcambria, however, haven't quite been eliminated from contention yet. While they must know they are unlikely to advance to the playoffs being four points behind with the top side still to play, but mathematically there is still hope which is more than most 237th ranked sides would be able to hope for with two matchdays to play.

The 47 goals scored by the Jungle Cats thus far in the campaign is 7th among all teams but the 36 points they have are just outside the top 10. With Vilita also sitting outside the top 10 in the rankings for the first time in recent campaigns they will also be looking to close out the campaign with a pair of victories to attempt to move back inside the Top 10.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Within a few hours after the planned attack had been foiled, the major TV networks and cable channels in Baker Park were broadcasting video taken showing the hold of the boat packed with explosives and ordinance, with the unmistakable markings of the Banijan military stamped on crates of grenades and ammo that were interspersed among barrels of petroleum and crates of dynamite. All of this was arranged in such a way as to be triggered in a chain reaction by blowing up the motor.

The video loop of the capture, search and detention was repackaged and a bit more closely edited for distribution to other nations via satellite, with Equestrian States, Valanora, Chromatika and Consumar within AO particularly targeted.
___________________________________________________________________________________

On board NSC Achilles, the captives were kept in three separate cells in the brig. They were individually taken to the interview cabin, questioned and returned. Then their statements were compared. A second of round of questions then began to play each man off against the other two. Dusembei Okiniposi seemed to be the most vulnerable of the three, especially as it seemed he knew less of the actual planning than the other two, and so was the logical choice to turn over against the cousins.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Lt Commander O'Brien had felt sick when she realized that the boat that was being used in this interdiction was the same one she had sent to be boarded. She did take a small bit of consolation that the orders were to avoid harm to the crew, but she didn't want to think about what might happen to the four men. Would they think that she had tricked them?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Mahoney had enjoyed himself immensely on Saturday night. He had enjoyed hearing about Jonas' family and their stories. He'd discussed some of his own life back in Baker Park, how different it was to Banija, but stressed that people back home were genuinely sympathetic to the way the drought and the famine were affecting people here.

Sunday morning, Mahoney received a text at 9:45--"need you at office asap" He thought it strange that he would be needed on a Sunday, but he hurriedly dressed and made his way downtown.

Gabriel was there, along with another man he hadn't seen before. "Matt, it's been nice knowing you. I hope we'll have a chance to catch up some day." He held out a key ring, and handed Matt the metal lockbox that had been in his desk drawer. "In the box is everything you need. You take it home, do not bring it back here. There are instructions you need to follow carefully. Tomorrow is a completely different world from right now." With that he reached out to shake Matt's hand and he and the other man left through the rear exit, both carrying cardboard boxes.

Matt had no idea what that meant, but he decided he needed to go back and see what this box could tell him.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

© Sporting Times Weekend 2018
Keller Field host to final home WCQ
by Mindy Cartwright
National Soccer Writer

On the back of two straight victories, the Commonwealth National team need only to walk away from tonight's encounter with Kita-Hinode with a single point to eliminate the Hinodejins and clinch at least a berth in the playoffs.

BP have shown a return to the form that had lifted them to second in the table before the 4 match winless streak. The have been fewer mistakes defensively and much more compact play in the center of midfield.

Manager Trevor Richmond will be looking to get the side in a frame of mind that will see them peaking as this tournament draws to a close. He'll stay with a mostly unchanged lineup for the third consecutive match.

by **Mriin** » Sat May 12, 2018 7:30 pm

"This is why we can't take anything for granted," Don growled into the mic. "Everyone's always looking to play spoiler."

"Why do you think we fell behind so early, Mr. Mizzet?" probed a rather forward but refreshingly polite journo.

"These low-ranked sides always have a chip on their shoulder to end things on a high note after a mediocre campaign. Get one last big hurrah in at home, claim a scalp and say you did something on the cycle. I'd chalk it up to that adrenaline driving us down two-oh in the first half. Not to discredit Shibaguchi, though--it was the number of chances she had that was an overperformance, not the finishing. If you start watching after she gets the ball in our red zone, both goals were very deserved."

"So if it was adrenaline that fueled the Ajians at first, you think that wearing off is what let us back into the match?"

"No, I don't think it 'let us back in'. We were always there, and there were razor-thin moments where we nearly equalized at one. Did the Ajians having a slow second half hasten the process a bit? Sure it did, but we're always planning to outlast smaller sides. Solara's marauding just came up fruitful at sixty minutes instead of seventy. We didn't roll out the first line for nothing; the goals were a matter of when, not if."

"How are you feeling about your chances at the auto-qualification spot, following the Chromatiks being held to one point in Kalumba?"

"I wish I could look at you all and say we had it locked up with a straight face, but as we were shown today the road is never going to be easy. Garifunya's already pulled a fast one on us, and even if Cosneolta is having a down year we're the ones visiting them on the final day. Not to mention even the slightly stumble from the Chromatiks doesn't ensure anything--we would need both a win ourselves and another draw from them to confirm anything early. But these are all known factors to us, which means we have the tools to play around them--we're certainly not letting off the gas anytime soon. Personally, I'm looking forward to being a Pot One team come the World Cup."

by **Ceni** » Sat May 12, 2018 7:43 pm

To Brobdingnag We Go
Chapter Ten: Museums and 7Ball

Iarocav's discussion of Sirvatal's contest entices Andrew to petition the group to visit the Drawkionel History Museum, although Seth and Sarah exert significant resistance on the grounds that museums bore them. Besides, they point out, Andrew most definitely did NOT enjoy Fort Drawk, and the Drawkionel History Museum would only be more of the same. Andrew prevails, and the group trudges the few blocks from the National Gardens to the Drawkionel History through the crowded streets of Drawk City. Even Iarocav can't use his status to clear the crowds, for even he gets easily lost in the throngs of people out and about. The group, as a result, must dodge briefcases, elbows, and food vendors to work their way to the Museum. Constantly running into people's legs, Andrew does not like this state of affairs, and angrily mumbles something about needing stilts and a catcher's helmet to even walk. But they get to the museum, at last.

THE DRAWKIONEL HISTORY MUSEUM
Partially history museum and partially a vanity project (according to some), the Drawkionel Museum is dedicated to the history and personal lives of the country's Drawkionels. Before its unification, Drawkland once contained five separate emperors, and each of the current Drawkionels once ruled over one of those various empires. Mostly through the efforts of Iarocav, the country became unified, although the five immortal Drawkionels still rule over their former landholdings, at least nominally: they delegate much of the actual work of governing to elected councils and bureaucratic functionaries. Still, they retain their large roles in the country's history and culture.

Each of Iarocav, Kanyo, Ellzidan, Malicoll, and Callagard have their own wing in this pentagonal museum, with a soaring spiral staircase in the middle of a central atrium wrapped in translucent glass, allowing plenty of sunlight to stream in. The wings host artifacts relating to each Drawkionel's personal lives and role in the unification of Drawkland, although Iarocav's features the largest number, of course. In addition to hosting artifacts for public display, the museum also puts on plenty of demonstrations and keeps up a fairly spacious archive. The public also generally enjoys the museum's many interactive displays and games putting them in the shoes of the Drawkionels. Sometimes the Drawkionels themselves like to visit the museum from time to time to indulge in a little nostalgia, so the museum's curators keep it well organized and in ship-shape condition. Visit Drawkland magazine recommends a full day to explore this spacious museum, chock-full with relics too numerous to count.

"And this," Iarocav explains, pointing to a large diorama at the center of the room, "is Valsum, the largest volcano in Drawkland. I'll let you in on a secret." He starts to whisper. "The historians will tell you that we held our little meeting at a temporary camp on the summit of the volcano. They won't tell you the truth: we actually decamped to an enchanted chamber in the center of the volcano."

"I get the feeling that you're just trying to brag about how cool you are," says Andrew, unafraid to challenge the leader of Drawkland. Seth and Sarah, meanwhile, enter into a catatonic state, the Drawkian leader having dispelled a key truth of their Drawkian history with a snap of the finger.

"How much more of our history would you like to change, Iarocav?" wonders Sarah aloud. "If we can't believe this little detail, how can we believe the rest of this whole shabang?"

"Most of the rest is true, Sarah," says Iarocav. "Most of it."

Sarah rolls her eyes. "Care to tell us which of the rest isn't?"

"If we get to it." Iarocav smiles.

Sarah remembers that she's carrying a bottle of water, twists open the cap, and throws it at the Drawkian emperor. "I bet nobody's every done that to you before." Surprised, Iarocav flinches, but he can't avoid the rainstorm appearing out of nowhere.

"Can someone bring me a towel, please?" says Iarocav. "I don't like being wet." Sarah snickers.

"Let's move on," interjects Andrew. "I see another one of those interactive battle simulators around the corner, and you guys are standing here like two birds fighting over a mate." As the group ambles through Iarocav's wing of the museum, Sonnel's sun sets over the horizon. "I guess Visit Drawkland did get something right about Drawkland. We'll definitely need to come back tomorrow if we want to have any chance of finishing this museum."

Sarah and Seth, who earlier claimed that visiting museums bored them, wholeheartedly agree with Andrew's sentiments, and the group makes plans to hit the sack in one of Iarocav's many houses before returning to visit the remainder of the museum the following day. "If I may make a recommendation," Iarocav chimes in, with a wet towel in hand, "I'd recommend spending the most time on Ellzidan's wing tomorrow, and skimming the rest. Of the remaining Drawkionels, she has the most interesting backstory."

The next day, the group takes his advice. An elf, Ellzidan learned to fight early on, bonded with a dragon, and learned to play soccer, all while defending justice and playing a major role in the formation of the country itself. Andrew quickly finds himself engrossed in the various simulations of the wing, while Seth and Sarah at least find something interesting to do, perusing the interesting life of one of Drawkland's most enigmatic people.

"Well, that's that," says Andrew, finally finished with the last simulation. "How about we head to the Royal Drawk Museum for the rest of the day?"

"Absolutely not," the three Drawkians chime in, their voices in synchronous harmony. "We'll be too tired. The Royal Drawk Museum is just too large," explicates Sarah. "I haven't seen the whole thing, and I live here."

"Tomorrow, then," ventures Andrew. "We can at least see the interesting scientific stuff."

The group nods. "Tomorrow," Seth confirms. "We'll go there tomorrow."

THE ROYAL DRAWK MUSEUM
Lovers of pretty much everything flock to the Royal Drawk Museum en masse because it has everything that everyone with every interest might want to see. The Royal Drawk Museum represents a combination of art museum, history museum, science museum, and natural history museum all in one, stretching over five city blocks in the heart of Drawk City. Easily the largest museum of any kind in Drawkland, the Royal Drawk Museum contains exhibits ranging from a naturalistic display of the various Drawk species to an exhibit surrounding the best works of the country's best artists to artifacts surrounding the country. Located in a stately granite edifice with neoclassical columns, the Museum is one of the top tourist attractions in the entire country. Visit Drawkland magazine opines that visitors should choose which things they'd like to see, for nobody could ever hope to see the whole thing even if they had a whole week to kill.

"So," asks Andrew, "what do you guys want to see?"

"I think we can rule out the history section," opines Sarah, "since we got a good chunk of history yesterday with the Drawkionel Museum. I hate staring at art, so let's scratch that off too."

"Science it is," proclaims Seth. "I must admit I'm a bit too dumb to understand most of what's going on, though."

"You are not dumb, Dad," says Sarah. "But I'd agree with you on the Science and Natural History exhibits. That way, we can explain everything about Drawkian science to my little Earthling half-brother here."

"Hey," says Andrew, interjecting. "Remember I exist here, right in front of your nose. Please don't insult me in front of my face."

Sarah doesn't see Iarocav's water bottle flying toward her face until it's too late. By then, the spray from the open bottle has totally drenched Sarah's meticulously prepared hair. "That's in revenge for yesterday!"

"You- you- you!" Sarah turns as red as a vintage Chevrolet Corvette. "How dare you!"

"Those are big words coming from someone who did the exact same thing yesterday," says Seth in an admonition. "How about we both apologize and leave these incidents behind us?"

Sarah fumes but nonetheless agrees with her dad's proposal. Iarocav gets the party free admission into the museum, and they delve into the intricacies of Drawk biology and interstellar travel. Amidst the skeletons of ancient marine creatures draped across the marble ceiling and specimens of every type of Drawkian animal imaginable, Andrew looks like a kid in a candy store, reveling in the size and grandeur of everything. It takes all day to finish just the natural history, but everyone enjoys it.

"Should we come back tomorrow?" asks Andrew.

"If you want," says Iarocav. "But there's a big 7ball game happening tomorrow, and I'm sure that you Arrowswords would like to enjoy Drawkland's national sport while you're here. Drawk City versus Metropolon, two of the biggest teams in the country. We can enjoy the game in my private box."

"Sounds good," replies Andrew. "But I'd still like to return to the museum someday."

HEPTAD HONORS STADIUM
Fitting with the Drawkian passion for everything relating to the number 7, the Heptad Honors Stadium hosts a maximum of 77,777 fans for matches of Drawkland's national sport: 7ball. Of course, both teams competing against each other feature 7 players, sets (or 7ets as the locals would call them) go up to 7 points, and teams must reach a total of 7 sets first in order to win the match. Playing in a field with four goalzones, teams must both come up with quickly executed formations to an open bucket at the top of a 7-foot tall pole shaped like the number seven, as well as prevent opposing teams from scoring goals. As one might imagine, 7ball can physically drain its participants, but many Drawkians both participate in recreational 7ball and watch professional 7ball.

The Heptad Honors Stadium (with the Latin root for the number seven in its name) hosts the Drawk City 7s, one of the most popular and successful 7ball teams within Drawkland's national 7ball league. Surprisingly, it does not have seven sides: the circular stadium beneath a huge geodesic dome has precisely zero sides, but the Drawkians don't mind this, and they flood the stadium on regular occasions to watch their favorite team.

The cheering of seventy thousand fans pumps Andrew up, and a tingling sensation moves from his tailbone up his spinal cord to his brain. Surprisingly, Andrew starts to cheer for the hometeam, waving a Drawk City 7s pennant he's found in Iarocav's private box. Sarah and Seth look at each other and shake their heads simultaneously. "Oh, we'll make a Drawkian out of him yet."

A bell rings on the stadium floor. "The game is starting," says Iarocav. On cue, the tip off happens in the center zone. The players run, throw, dive, jinx, juke to avoid the opposition's defense. Every time Drawk City scores, Andrew cheers. He particularly enjoys the antics of their Poleman 7, who performs a particularly... interesting pole dance amidst the rest of the action.

"Tell me," says Andrew, "do people come to 7ball games to watch the action, or the pole dancing?"

Iarocav laughs. "They like the sport as a whole, although the pole dancing is a nice side benefit."

"This is fun," Andrew says as the game goes on. Drawk City has eked out a small lead against Metropolon. "I wish Ceni had something like this."

The Drawkians all chuckled. "We do love our 7ball," says Sarah. "I'm glad that you love it too."

by **North Prarie** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:02 pm

Philip Tran is North Prarie's entry for the Winningest XI competition.

-------Francis-------

Bradley Francis looked at his teammates with delight. He had scored an insurance goal to boost the Prarieans lead over Eastfield Lodge to 3-1. It was the 41st minute. Bradley had already scored one in the 5th, and Chris Rios has scored a great one from outside the box in the 22nd. They were shocking the football world right now. The Lodger City Memorial Stadium stadium was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop, except you couldn't, because the 1104 were bouncing with delight in the top deck. Blue smoke rose up into the air above them, but it was so high that it wouldn't delay the game and the refs couldn't penalize the Prarieans.
Bradley looked towards Matthew Oliver in his rain-stained navy jacket on the bench. It had just started sprinkling rain, but the forecast said it would stop before the final 45 kicked off.
Matthew gave a thumbs-up and a smile, but Bradley knew he was definitely a bit annoyed inside. Bradley had been outperforming him fairly recently, and a mere 7.5 rating in the Yuezhou game confirmed his spot in the lineup. Coach W, or Manager Alan Willis as the official documents called him, tinged the lineup with youth that game, starting Everett Elliott and Francis to sub in for James Griffith and Matthew Oliver at left back and striker, respectively, to make up for subpar performances from both players. And they had both delivered. Bradley had scored 2 goals and Everett had made a good stop on the Eastfieldian right winger when the EL tore down the left side of the pitch.
"Oi Rios, this is a decent performance, amirite?" he yelled to the Prariean left winger.
"Definitely decent, that's for sure."
"Ever had a game like this?"
"Yeah, I think one time DCFC beat Scott City 7-1. Now let's get our heads in the game one-two, or else we might blow it."
"Good call."

-------Tran-------

Philip Tran looked around the huge stadium, and looked around at all the quiet blue and green jerseys. Then her looked up and saw the bouncing blue, silver, and gold Prariean fans with a blue cloud above them, partnered with a waving of flags and singing of the Prariean national anthem. He looked behind him and saw the Loon City product Everett Elliott bouncing up and down and talking to Todd Olson, the DCFC veteran who himself looked pretty excited. He looked at the bench, where the young Prarieans like Jon Rose and Gerben Samson were doing dance moves from the viral game Basenight, where older Prarieans like Fred Goldberg and Ferdinand Noel smiled at the 21 and 22 year olds and tried to do some dances themselves. They were dads though, so they obviously botched it.
Then Philip Tran found someone wearing a green Tobiasia City FC jersey in the stands. His club. Philip Tran smiled, pointed at the fan, and smiled and gave a thumbs up.
Would Philip Tran be the future of North Prariean soccer abroad? Or would it be Terrell Miller? Or maybe even Kyle Schmitz or Erick Amerigo?
Ahead, behind, up-right.
Those were the locations of his friends and teammates, but the people who would soon be competitors not only in the UICA, but competitors for the title of poster boy for Prariean soccer. Chris Rios was 29, and 30 in a couple of months. He couldn't last forever. DCFC wouldn't always control the national team. There, soon, would be a good number of FC Volaworand jerseys in the stands, and maybe even jerseys from Petroslovanian, Tobiasian, Devontan, and maybe even clubs from Starblaydia or Nephara in the stands, among others.
But they couldn't be overly ambitious.
That would set high expectations.
And then the Prarieans wouldn't fulfill.
They would go into the sophomore slump and lose a manager like Filindostan and Razenthuria. Maybe they would be constantly stuck in the middle of the rankings like Abaja, Devonta, and Yuezhou.
You have to be optimistic and ambitious, but too much of it could be your downfall.
That was pretty much Philip Tran's life motto.
Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? It's the music of the people who will not be slaves again. When the beating of your heart matches the beating of the....
Whistle to start the final 45.

-------Schmitz------

Kyle Schmitz saw the ball bounce right to him.
He hit it with the inside of his foot.
It flew into the side of the net.
The stadium went quiet, except for the top section, where the blue cloud rose once again. Kyle ran to the corner and got into a little circle with his teammates, where silver jerseys kept coming and hitting Schmitz on the back and ruffling his hair, before giving someone else a high five. Rios, Tran, Francis, Amerigo, Miller, Elliott. More than half of the team was there. They talked excitedly.
Erick, can you believe this?
Tran, this is better than the time we took care of Scott City, right?
OMIGOD EVERETT THIS IS CRAZY!!
Oi, shut up Francis, you already got a hat trick.
That's why being a striker is better!
See ya in the UICA, man! You're the star, not Petrosillo, now!
Kay Loons, let's get back to positions. Kickoff, right?
Oh jeezus Rios, you're such a fun sponge.

Kyle glanced up at the scoreboard while jogging back to his spot.
Five.
5.
F-I-V-E
to one.
Us Prarieans.
On the road.

The rest of the game flew by. Erick Amerigo netted one on a cross by Bradley Francis. Eastfield Lodge tried to pressure the silver jerseys, but the wall that was Elliott, Olson, May, and Mack. If they did get by, they would miss or hit an easy one that Gio M could catch easily. The referees added on 3 minutes, but it didn't matter.
Final whistle.
We just pelted the 44th ranked team in the world six to one.

-------Willis--------

This is pretty much a battle between Eshan, Nats, and North Prarie for the 2nd playoff spot.

That was the text on a Wiscord World Cup update chat by a reporter from Qasden.
Someone from the 27th ranked team noticed us.
That was all Allan Willis needed to make his day.

by **Turori** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:39 pm

Cocoabo Stepping Up
Citizens concede as Cocoabo prepare to become "Turori's Team"

For a more complete backstory regarding Cocoabo Forest and the Rise of the Modern Cocoabo please visit the Historical Record on the Atlantian Oceania Forum

Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori :: Turori's National Citizen squad tried blaming whatever they could for their poor start to World Cup 80 Qualifying. From an unpreferntial schedule to the presence of the silouette of a Cocoabo on their kits, every possibility was brought up.

World Cup 80 Qualifying:

Turori's National Citizen Squad even went so far as to have Tropicorp Sports make new kits in White and Nigel's Green for the team to play in so they wouldn't have to suit up with a Cocoabo on their kits.

It didn't make a difference. The Citizen Squad still lost. After an opening round stunner losing the opening round to unranked Melbergia, the Citizen Squad proceed to fail to win the entirety of their first three-game set from matchdays five through seven including defeats to Quakmybush and Acapais and another stunning result being held to a draw by lowly Lazhal. While the Cocoabo Squad did suffer a defeat against Jeruselem, it was the only blemish for the Cocoabo Squad. When the second half of the Campaign started, the Cocoabo were well ahead of their Citizen counterparts who had only mustered a single point over the first nine matches of competition. Sure, mathematically it was possible for the Citizens to come back but if they were to do so, the collapse from the Cocoabo would have to be so massive the unified Turorian team wouldn't be anywhere near the World Cup qualifying places.

For that reason, the Citizen Squad agreed to concede and allow the Cocoabo to focus on post World Cup Qualifying preparation. Two of the Citizen Squad's three matches in its three-game second round set would be switched to the Cocoabo, the match against Xianina at the Coliseum of the Inurahtii and the away match against Ethane, the groups top side with Turori floundering, who the Cocoabo had already beaten during the first half of competition.

Citizen Team Schedule:

[L] MD1 v. Melbergia
(Iobabao Legendary Park, Mliona)

[L] MD5 @ Quakmybush

[L] MD6 v. Acapais
(Almintora National Stadium, Almintora)

[D] MD7 @ Lazhal

>> TO COCOABO SQUAD << MD11 v. Xianina
(Coliseum of the Inurahtii, Inura)

MD12 @ Jeruselem

>> TO COCOABO SQUAD << MD13 @ Ethane

MD17 @ Banija

MD18 v. The Liamese Empire
(Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori)

Cocoabo Team Schedule:

[W] MD2 @ Xianina

[L] MD3 v. Jeruselem
(Kionao Minor Field, Kionao)

[W] MD4 v. Ethane
(Cednia Beach Center, Cednia)

[W] MD8 v. Banija
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[W] MD9 @ The Liamese Empire

[W] MD10 @ Melbergia

MD14 v. Quakmybush
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

MD15 @ Acapaias

MD16 v.Lazhal
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

All the positive highlights from the first half of Qualifying came from the Cocoabo Squad. Cocoabo #99 had a brace as the Cocoabo Squad ran out 5-0 winners against Xianina to set a tone after the Citizen Squad had plopped an egg in the opening match against Melbergia. It seemed to set things right and give the Turorian faithful hope that they would be able to re-bound and still emerge atop the Group 10 table.

Turori [5] - [0] Xianina

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 1' Cocoabo #97
:: 37' Cocoabo #99
:: 43' Cocoabo #57
:: 45' Cocoabo #99
:: 73' Cocoabo #61

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 69%
:: Shots on Target: 10
:: Corner Kicks: 13

:: Xianina Statistics ::
:: Possession: 31%
:: Shots on Target: 3
:: Corner Kicks: 7

Turori Eels Lineup v. Xianina ::
[GK]Cocoabo #86, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [D.]Cocoabo #59, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [ML] Cocoabo #62, [MC] Cocoabo #64, [MC]Cocoabo #71, [MR] Cocoabo #61, [FC] Cocoabo #97, [FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #98
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #91, [FC]Cocoabo #94, [M]Cocoabo #65, [M]Cocoabo #72, [U ]Cocoabo #60, [D]Cocoabo #53, [GK]Cocoabo #85

Unfortunately, the Citizen Squad's continued struggles were like a massive anchor to the Turorian hopes as they had just a 50% record midway through qualifying. Of course, despite the struggles there were still some big wins for the Cocoabo Squad including the massive 2-1 Victory over Ethane, the top challenger rankings wise in Group 10. While the struggles for the Citizen Squad were preventing the Eels from challenging Ethane for the top spot in the table, the result showed that no matter what post-World Cup 80 Qualification competition the Turori National Team would advance to, Turori still had the potential to rise to the occasion and win big matches against tough opposition.

Turori's Jeckyl & Hyde like appearance in World Cup 80 was expertly captured by the media in Ethane, perhaps also a little disappointed that their team was unable to capitalize on a struggling Turori side that had dropped points to so many of the World's backmarkers.

They haven't had the greatest start to their qualifying campaign. In fact, that's an understatement. They've had an abysmal start to their world cup qualifying campaign. They were the top seed in the group, although very closely ranked to the 2nd seed Ethane (top of 2nd seed vs 2nd bottom of seed 1). Naturally, you'd expect them to challenge for, or be in, the top spot in the group. However, they're actually struggling down in 5th on 13 points, 8 points behind group leaders Ethane.

Turori's results so far have been somewhat of a mixed bag. They started off awfully with a 0-1 loss to Melbergia, an unranked team, and never really managed to get out of that rut bar a few results. Throughout the campaign, they seem to have almost flipped in terms of which teams they perform against. Naturally, you'd expect a good team to do better when an opponent is worse quality. Yet this is the opposite of Turori. They've lost against Melbergia (UR), Jeruselem (50), Acapais (117), and drawn with Lazhal (227), but won their game 2-1 against Ethane (18). I'm not going to delve into any complex reasoning for why this could be the case, but suggest that it could be because they think they're easy victories so don't put nearly as much effort in, or that The Citizens Team is just so much worse than The Cocabo team.

Yet despite some of these more disappointing results in their qualifying campaign so far, their campaign is far from over. Because of the 2 playoff places for those who finish 2nd and 3rd in the group, Turori still has a chance of reaching the playoff round. They're only in 5th, 2 places behind a playoff place. That gap to Quakmybush in 3rd stands at only 2 points. If they were to beat Quakmybush and Jeruselem in the reverse fixtures, and equal their other results, they'll easily make the playoff stage.

Turori [2] - [1] Ethane

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 22' Cocoabo #61
:: 57' Cocoabo #91

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 57%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 13

:: Ethane Statistics ::
:: Possession: 43%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 10

Turori Eels Lineup v. Ethane ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [D.] Cocoabo #54, [ML] Cocoabo #64, [MC]Cocoabo #71, [MC] Cocoabo #61, [MR] Cocoabo #62, [FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #91
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #94, [FC]Cocoabo #98, [M]Cocoabo #72, [M]Cocoabo #65, [U ]Cocoabo #46, [D]Cocoabo #56, [GK]Cocoabo #87

Another tricky match for the Cocoabo came on Matchday 8 against Banija, one of the up and coming teams looking to punch above their weight. The Cocoabo had no concern about the Banijan side - not caring who they were or why they were so brightly colored and posted a clinical result to defeat them through some unlikely midfield production. Unlike the Citizen Squads that tend to have a balanced production of goalscoring, the Cocoabo get the majority of their goals from their trained forwards Cocoabo #91 and Cocoabo #99. Against Banija however they showed the ability to adapt and ultimately the reason why they have thus far been so successful during World Cup 80 Qualifying when compared with the dismality on display from their Citizen counterparts.

Turori [2] - [1] Banija

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 43' Cocoabo #46
:: 50' Cocoabo #62

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 54%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 9

:: Banija Statistics ::
:: Possession: 46%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 12

Turori Eels Lineup v. Banija ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #59, [ML] Cocoabo #63, [MC] Cocoabo #64, [MC]Cocoabo #61, [MC] Cocoabo #62, [MR] Cocoabo #46, [FC]Cocoabo #91, [FC]Cocoabo #94
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #98, [M]Cocoabo #71, [M]Cocoabo #72, [U ]Cocoabo #54, [D]Cocoabo #57, [GK]Cocoabo #86

by **Qasden** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:40 pm

Vans Scatter Devonta, Jeckland to Better Qualification Hopes

TORGOS, PASARGA
by Kippy F

Before travelling to Devonta, the Qasden National Team had just taken 2nd place, tied in points with Jeckland and only 2 points ahead of USD and Soltsteed. Two matches later, they're the prime candidate to dethrone Pasarga for the auto-qualification spot of Group 9.

As our "special" journalist, Dooblestoop Hackel, discussed before, the Blue-Reds had a more dismal approach to the 80th World Cup, falling to lower teams and drawing games that shouldn't have been drawn. At the end of the first half, the Qads were fifth, a position that spiked worrying fear into fans back home. It was a moment of grief at the 'pality, seeing as their home record was murderous at best. Almost as if there was no way we could reignite our flame.

That changed, however, following a defeat at home against Banija in a friendly, when something sparked inside the kits of Qasden. Following that fateful day in Fyre, the Vans took to the stars and wrapped up multiple wins, including a key victory over BoF 65 Champions, Soltsteed. With a clean rout of Dunnes in Qad City, TQ rose up to second place, earning themselves a fighting chance at making the playoffs, if not the auto-qualification itself. Poised for greatness with a newfound sense of confidence, the Qads traveled with Dooblestoop to Devonta and clipped the cyan and lime with goals from Valentijn Munson (42') and Milkface (72') giving them a clean 2-1 win. Back home, the Vans rematched Jeckland with vengeance for an earlier defeat at stake. After a powerful brawl and an incredible defense, the Vans were able to take a 3-1 win and further solidify their hopes for qualification.

This brings us to now, Match 17, right here in Torgos, Pasarga. The Wanderers themselves are one of the fiercest teams in the multiverse, clocking in multiple qualifications and even securing a World Cup title. Throughout qualifying play, the Pasargans had conquered their opponents 11 times, drawing them 3 times, and losing only twice, giving them 36 daunting points. At 31 with 1 match following tonight, the Vans have only one option in order to remain steady for auto-qualification, which is a hefty victory. Be it as it may, a defeat would puncture the lungs of Qasden's hopes of avoiding the playoff insanity, while a draw would still allow the green boys to waltz into Equestrian States and Starblaydia with ease (We'll qualify for the playoffs, but that's less convenient than a direct flight to Purple World). Now a win isn't entirely enough to secure the top dog position itself, as the Nusalians would also need to pick off Pasarga while being accompanied by a Qasdonian win over Chateau de Soleil at Hotchskarth Cabin. Only then can we be sure of safety, which wouldn't even last that long on it's own.

Can the Qads blindside Pasarga for a quick trip outta 9? Or will the Wanderers squander the Vans hopes and dreams with one measly snap? All that and more is about to surface, so stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for our next report, live from the crescent-loving Turkish town of Torgos!

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:43 pm

THE NUMBERS ARE IN!
Härlighet Ligan, select Sekundar Ligan clubs ranked by average attendance this year

The dust has settled on the 25th CosumarLigan season.

A lot happened between the lines this year - 1013 witnessed a celebration decades in the making for Eastweald, the continued re-emergence of OAS Royal under Sur Arora, and the first ever top-flight season played by a team from one of Cosumar's extraterrestrial colonies (Fevelo)! But who won in the stands? The final attendance numbers for each team have finally been released by the FSF, so we've created this nifty infographic to sum it all up for all of you hardcore soccer fans across the Fiefdom who love to obsess over this kind of thing!

All 18 Härlighet Ligan clubs are ranked by their average attendance across 17 home matches this season. Across each row is the percentage of total stadium capacity, the trend (whether their average is better or worse than last season's), and how each club's rank in the attendance battle compared to their actual performance. Relegated clubs in red, promoted clubs in blue below the line dividing HL from Sekundar Ligan. Pro/Rel playoff combatants in purple.

Point of Interest #1: Ramusok, Gellano Fiefs remain model markets. There is little debate that the fiefs containing the capital city and the Weald, homes of some of Cosumar's longest-running traditions in the sport, are still king. Ramusok United and OAS Royal placed #1 and #3 in the country in attendance, with a combined 150,000+ coming out for a match each weekend in the capital on average. The huge population of the area helps. The raw numbers for Weald Classic rivals Mallox and Eastweald aren't quite as gaudy, but more impressive are their percentage stats. The Orange Palace has the longest active sell-out streak, going back almost eight years despite some lean times on the pitch in that span. Eastweald too sold out all but one match this season at Old Weldenskirgen, with a lone blip due to playing at lunchtime on Mother's Day ruining a multi-season sellout streak of their own. The people of the Weald never fail to turn up and create incredibly passionate atmospheres. Even Centus Serpents fans still fill nearly all the seats at Somerset Road despite a decade of midtable mediocrity in the second division.

Point of Interest #2: Mixed results for newly-promoted sides. Helfin Fief experienced the largest year-to-year increase in the HL this season, averaging nearly 5,000 more spectators per match with fans excited about a long-awaited return to the top-fight. Interestingly, Zakhoro Aces experienced a decrease in attendance upon going back up. Perhaps the folks down there are jaded by their long history as the archetypical yo-yo club and don't even get excited about the song & dance of promotions and relegations anymore. Even though they survived this time, you can't blame them if they'd rather watch their team shred the Sekundar Ligan with exciting, proactive style. Finally, to complete the diverse trifecta, IFK Aldenskoett experienced no change, selling out the intimate Eagles' Nest every match. Rumors of a new, bigger stadium in the works continue to rumble.

Point of Interest #3: Like-for-like switches next season. An attendance shark and an attendance minnow depart, and attendance sharks and minnows arrive to replace them. League execs will be disappointed to see the large attendance draw of Stoneshore United exit, but luckily their strong optics and financials will be replaced by FC Kaldukosic - who still commanded large audiences for several years after relegation due to their monopoly on Cosumar's most populous city. Expect a big spike next year upon their return - they should enter the top four immediately. Leviathan Arena is a great gameday experience. Meanwhile, officials will be glad to be rid of Fevelo Colony's minuscule business metrics, but Keenan's aren't far superior - bottom half of Sekundar Ligan last season despite an exciting team.

by **Equestrian States** » Sat May 12, 2018 8:51 pm

Matchday Seventeen Cutoff

Let's be honest here, it was only a matter of time before I posted one of those songs.

Results.

by **Turori** » Sun May 13, 2018 12:58 am

Cocoabo Falter in Royal Quebec
Citizen Squad to finish things off, Cocoabo await Playoff Draw

For a more complete backstory regarding Cocoabo Forest and the Rise of the Modern Cocoabo please visit the Historical Record on the Atlantian Oceania Forum

The Samseongoloondongjang, Montreal, Royal Kingdom of Quebec :: If it was the final test for Turori's National Cocoabo Squad before a two-legged playoff with a place in the World Cup Finals at stake against a team either similar to, or exactly identical to their Matchday 17 foes, the Cocoabo did not pass with flying colors.

World Cup 80 Qualifying:

It is a result that will leave some doubt behind particularly if the Turori National Team do not end up advancing to Starblaydia and the Equestrian States after the Citizen Squad, after an horrific start to their own World Cup 80 Qualifying schedule, finally broke out of the doldrums and recorded their first victory.

With the Cocoabo Squad up 15-1 over the Citizen Squad after 10 Matchdays of competition and with just 15 points left on the able for the Citizens the decision was made to pull the plug on the head to head competition and concede that it would be the Cocoabo representing Turori in the post qualifying cycle. To best prepare the Cocoabo for the next stage, three of the Citizen Squads five remaining matches were shifted over to the Cocoabo Squad including the home match against lowly Xianina and the two high-profile away games against Group leaders Ethane and playoff challengers Banija that would provide big tests for the Cocoabo to prepare them for further competition.

Citizen Team Schedule:

[L] MD1 v. Melbergia
(Iobabao Legendary Park, Mliona)

[L] MD5 @ Quakmybush

[L] MD6 v. Acapais
(Almintora National Stadium, Almintora)

[D] MD7 @ Lazhal

>> TO COCOABO SQUAD << MD11 v. Xianina
(Coliseum of the Inurahtii, Inura)

[W] MD12 @ Jeruselem

>> TO COCOABO SQUAD << MD13 @ Ethane

>> TO COCOABO SQUAD << MD17 @ Banija

MD18 v. The Liamese Empire
(Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori)

Cocoabo Team Schedule:

[W] MD2 @ Xianina

[L] MD3 v. Jeruselem
(Kionao Minor Field, Kionao)

[W] MD4 v. Ethane
(Cednia Beach Center, Cednia)

[W] MD8 v. Banija
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[W] MD9 @ The Liamese Empire

[W] MD10 @ Melbergia

[W] MD11 v. Xianina
(Coliseum of the Inurahtii, Inura)

[W] MD13 @ Ethane

[W] MD14 v. Quakmybush
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[D] MD15 @ Acapaias

[W] MD16 v.Lazhal
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[L] MD17 @ Banija

With their tails firmly between their legs there was nowhere further for the Citizen Squad to fall. They had assured that they would lose the Citizen v. Cocoabo competition for the second consecutive campaign. They were on the verge of being relegated to representing themselves only in the Eagle's Cup, and perhaps getting a shot in the AOCAF with their Vilitan counterparts.

It was lucky for the Citizen Squad that the Football Association of Turori did not want to overwork the Cocoabo Squad despite increasing their workload. It meant that the Citizens were still given one more chance to prove their worth, facing off against Jeruselem on Matchday 12 - the only opponent that the Cocoabo had failed to defeat up until that point.

The Citizen Squad made the best of the opportunity as G.Q. Disterfred II made 4 saves to keep the scores level at the half before Turori dominated the second half of play; goals from Wiztsana Iretziia and Yitizo Mpala'a securing three points for the Citizen Squad much to the relief of players and Citizens alike throughout the Island Emirate.

Turori [3] - [1] Jeruselem

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 30' Inamari Altariiz
:: 51' Wiztsana Iretziia
:: 53' Yitizo Mpala'a

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 55%
:: Shots on Target: 9
:: Corner Kicks: 5

:: Jeruselem Statistics ::
:: Possession: 45%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 2

'Turori Eels Lineup v. Jeruselem ::
[GK]G.Q Disterfred II, [D.]Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.]Tarek Edgeli, [D.]Geafi Laina-Sola, [ML] Kigaoua Oalalka, [MC] Indelli Nura'amura, [MC]Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Timi'sala Koarena, [MR] Aiden Varess, [FC]Inamari Altariiz, [FC]Meldi'ita Mungwaii
BENCH::
[FC]Wiztsana Iretziia, [FC]Matlya Eelador, [M]Kentu Umaka'a, [M]Teliima Loinara, [U ]Tujamu Treola, [D]Mikki Mayelli, [GK]Wiyauw An'maude

It was back to the Cocoabo after that, however, with the biggest challenge on the books starting the Cocoabo Squad in the face: Ethane away. The Flammable Gas were running a strong campaign having suffered just two defeats heading into the match - the first was against the Cocoabo Squad in their visit to Turori earlier in the campaign.

Seeming to have hit the peak in their form, however, it was the Cocoabo Squad who outworked the home side despite falling behind 2-1 at the half. It was a second half comeback for the Cocoabo who leveled five minutes into the second half through Cocoabo #91 then got the winner from Cocoabo #65 twenty minutes from time. While the result would ultimately not matter in the standings with Ethane still keeping a big advantage in the table, it was a real confidence booster for the Football Association of Turori - particularly coming off the Citizen Squad's victory - that the Cocoabo were in fact the real deal - not only could they lead the Turori National Team to the World Cup Finals but they could compete once they got there.

Turori [3] - [2] Ethane

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 3' Cocoabo #72
:: 49' Cocoabo #91
:: 69' Cocoabo #64

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 53%
:: Shots on Target: 9
:: Corner Kicks: 7

:: Ethane Statistics ::
:: Possession: 47%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 5

Turori Eels Lineup v. Ethane ::
[GK]Cocoabo #87, [D.]Cocoabo #53, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [D.] Cocoabo #59, [ML] Cocoabo #61, [MC]Cocoabo #62, [MC] Cocoabo #71, [MR] Cocoabo #72, [FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #91
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #94, [FC]Cocoabo #90, [M]Cocoabo #64, [M]Cocoabo #65, [U ]Cocoabo #46, [D]Cocoabo #56, [GK]Cocoabo #86

Which is probably what made the defeat to Banija all the more disappointing. The Cocoabo were trained not to have let downs. The were trained to be clinical, professional and all the other things that would mean they didn't care i they were playing Banija, Schottia or Ravea, they were going to execute their job to the best of their ability. To make matters worse, the match was on Neutral Territory in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec after questions about safety in Banija forced the match to be moved from the Stadium of the Restoration in Busukuma.

For some reason the best of the Cocoabo Squad's ability includes beating Ethane but not the next two challengers in the group, Banija or Jeruselem.

It means that Turori's National Cocoabo Squad will head into the World Cup 80 Qualification Playoff on a losing streak. A one game losing streak, but a losing streak nonetheless as the Citizen Squad take over for the final match against the Liamist Empire to give the Cocoabo time to rest up and prepare for the critically important playoff round. They bounced back in good form after their only other defeat of the campaign, turning defeat against Jeruselem into victory over Ethane. They will likely have to do something very similar again once the playoff round starts if they will have any chance of coming back to Turori and claiming a spot in the EqueStar World Cup 80.

Turori [0] - [1] Banija

:: Turori Goalscorers ::

- None -

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 53%
:: Shots on Target: 4
:: Corner Kicks: 4

:: Banija Statistics ::
:: Possession: 47%
:: Shots on Target: 3
:: Corner Kicks: 1

Turori Eels Lineup v. Banija ::
[GK]Cocoabo #85, [D.]Cocoabo #58, [D.]Cocoabo #59, [D.]Cocoabo #57, [ML] Cocoabo #46, [MC] Cocoabo #71, [MC]Cocoabo #64, [MR] Cocoabo #61, [FC] Cocoabo #90, [FC]Cocoabo #99, [FC]Cocoabo #91
BENCH::
[FC]Cocoabo #98, [FC]Cocoabo #94, [M]Cocoabo #63, [M]Cocoabo #65, [U ]Cocoabo #62, [D]Cocoabo #53, [GK]Cocoabo #87

by **Jeruselem** » Sun May 13, 2018 5:19 am

Melbergia, after Jeruselem wom 4-0. Princess Cassie and her sister Chloe

Cassie: Well, one of our best games. Pity we lost to quak 1-0 last game.
Chloe: Turori didn't win though, they lost
Cassie: Banija beat Turori?
Chloe: Yes, that's not what we wanted

Cassie: Ethane will win the group, Turori have a playoff spot.
Chloe: We need to win, preferably like 10-0 and we need Banija to lose ... badly.
Cassie: So if they draw, or win we're not in the playoff
Chloe: Pretty much!

Cassie: We were never going win the group
Chloe: I know
Cassie: How about plans for the Cup of Harmony
Chloe: Well, the odds are we're not going make it

Cassie: That last loss to Quak really set us backwards
Chloe: Sure did, and those 6 draws. I'm sure we could have won at least half of those if not most.
Cassie: You can't say we were terrible though, we were in the playoff position at some stage
Chloe: Turori pretty much threw that out the window when they started winning games

Cassie: We can still make it
Chloe: Providing Banija lost badly, and we win our game ... overcoming a huge goal difference differential
Cassie: You just never know
Chloe: They just need to draw, they even don't need to win

Cassie: Well, Schottia beat Lynchberg 12-2 so anything is possible.
Chloe: I doubt we could score 12 goals against anyone. And that was 1st vs last too.
Cassie: We just love to leave it to the last game, as always
Chloe: Yes, always to the last game.

Cassie: There's always another world cup
Chloe: Hopefully I won't be pregnant in the next one
Cassie: Not the best timing, hey
Chloe: Babies never time things the way you want it

Cassie: I hear the host of that dating show is retiring
Chloe: Yeah, I dunno why. It's great gig to be hosting that show.
Cassie: I'm too young, they want a mature host with loads of real world experience.
Chloe: Sounds like a job for Mum

Cassie: I dunno, she'd prefer to babysit the kids.
Chloe: How's the trading going?
Cassie: Oh that, I don't have time at moment. With all this travel, but that's going be over so back to making money.
Chloe: Until we go to the Cup of Harmony, that is.

Cassie: Well, we have to win something ...
Chloe: We can't even win that so far
Cassie: Oh well, we can try.
Chloe: I hope so.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Sun May 13, 2018 9:25 am

THE TALE OF THE FLUFFY BUNNIES AND THE WAR AGAINST THE PONIES

With World Cup qualification guaranteed, the fluffy bunnies could turn their attention to other matters, such as where they would play in the World Cup.

Starblaydia sounded like a super place, and that nice Mr Di Bradini described it as a magical land full of rainbows and sunshine and carrot patches and buttercups and endless cups of tea. Even better, the carrots were purple.

The fluffy bunnies did so hope that they would get to play in Starblaydia!

But then there was Equestrian States, which is full of ponies.

The fluffy bunnies were not sure that they wanted to play in Equestrian States.

Many, many years ago, many years after they had enslaved their humans, and shortly after they had expanded into space - but before the fluffy bunnies had conquered their universe - they encountered a murderous race of ponies from a strange planet called the Hippodial Provinces.

The very bad ponies from Hippodial Provinces slaughtered the poor little bunny explorers that they encountered, which made the fluffy bunnies very sad.

Furthermore, the immortal dread lords Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail weren't going to take that short of thing lying down, and soon unleashed the Bunny Legions of Doom against the Hippodial Provinces in order to wreak their revenge.

For 10,000 years, a might war broke out across the stars, as fluffy bunnies and mean and nasty ponies battled for supremacy of the universe we now know as Fluffy Bunny World.

Bunny stormtroopers were unleashed, planets ran red with blood, stars were exploded, black holes were steered, and bunny death stars were built.

In all the tens of thousands of years it took to conquer Fluffy Bunny World, and turn it into a carrot-strewn paradise for cute little fluffy bunnies (and their subject slave races), only the Hippodial Provinces came close to defeating the Bunny Legions of Doom.

But eventually, Be'Atrix - bunny goddess of victory - inspired the Bunny Legions to their final victory through the development and use of a wonderful thing called the Ultimate Annihilator

And now there are no ponies at all in Fluffy Bunny World.

So while the fluffy bunnies know that the ponies of Equestrian States are not the ponies of Hippodial Provinces, and have managed to wrap their cute little bunny heads around a complicated thing that grownups know as 'alternate realities', they still do not like ponies very much.

They are trying not to worry.

They are instead trying to focus on carrots and buttercups and rainbows and other bunny things.

But still, the fluffy bunnies were not sure that they wanted to play in Equestrian States.

Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, into the burrow.

THE END

by **Zwangzug** » Sun May 13, 2018 9:53 am

"Well, it could have been worse," said Lucas. "Especially given last time."

Kendra stared at him. "What did you say?"

"Last time we got destroyed by these guys. I'll take a draw, even if we'd gotten hot before that."

"You sound like yourself again," said Leslie. "Did you get hurt? Better see a doctor."

"I'm fine!" Lucas protested, but his teammates would have none of it, and it was off to the specialist again. Nose-touching, line-walking, the whole ten yards. (Zwangzug occasionally used its own obscure binary system of metrics, but footballers deferred to international convention even when metaphor was involved.)

"The brain is somewhat plastic," the doctor shrugged. "I think you're all clear. Let us know if anything changes."

"Uh, is it?" Lucas asked. "Like I know about AI and everything, but I think I'm just a simple organic."

She laughed. "Adaptable to change. Sometimes people's rhythms of articulation get thrown off. We don't know why, it's not particularly common, but it happens. If you're back to--well, your own normal, anyway--I'd say appreciate it."

"Good news," Lucas said, once he'd reported back. "Now you can all understand me again, so there's no excuse to not pay attention to my tactical ideas."

"Oh, please, yes!" said Heather. "I'm going to lose my mind if I have to listen to another of Martin's."

"Maybe Keppal will somehow crash and burn next season so he gets cut," Leslie whispered.

"Hey," said Joel. "I heard that."

"You gonna be okay?" Shoshana asked Kim, quietly. "Without anybody sounding islander around?"

Kim shrugged. "No worse off than I was before, right? If people want to make conversation, they know where to find me. Otherwise...there are some people here I'm fine avoiding."

"Well, let me know if you ever need to talk. We gotta stick together, yeah?"

Kim giggled. "Sure."

"Hang on," said Desmond, "since when have you had any tactical ideas? Your idea of innovation is trying to install a mod for sentient but non-anthropomorphic zebras in UICA video games."

"Look," Lucas protested, "if Equestrian States can co-host a World Cup, I just think we need to consider all our options, you know?"

"At least use AI, then you don't need all the graphics."

"It's not that hard, you just start with our jersey and then--copy-paste some."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Ricardo, "but Spencer, do you have any commie music on your headphones? I need something to tune out this nonsense."

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