Great Valencia wrote:Sorry, we can't wire the money. But we CAN send it over via carrier pigeon with a below 1% chance of it ever arriving. Also, thank you for the
Here's a nice story to tell your grandchildren. There was a carrier pigeon (something like it) just a few days ago in a laundromat I was inspecting. Just flew in and stayed there. Wouldn't leave for a while, but it did eventually. Not everyday you see this sort of thing.
OOC: Happened, actually.
Eisenfaust Imperium wrote:We would like to purchase a God-Modding license. Please be sure to wire us the money it will cost you before we don't pay for it.
Thank You.
Sold God-Modding LicenseCongratulations! You now have earned the ability to modify your own GOD! Not creating a new one, just modifying an existing one to your heart's content. Like the Romans did with the Greek gods, or the Christians and Muslims did with the Jewish God, or some other example that you'll surely find using the great and powerful GOOGLE, Guardian Of Old Grey Laotian Elephants. (He's the reason why Asian elephants have smaller ears than their African counterparts.)
European elephant ears, very conspicuously, seem to be lacking. Scientists speculate that this may be due to the generally cooler climate of Europe and the fact European elephants do not exist. Despite this, many European elephant ear enthusiasts, including a certain mother, like to LIE. They point out the under-averageness of the average Asian elephant ear. Lies! Damned Lies! Statistics! They all mean nothing. European elephant ears do not even exist! Liars, I say! I've seen their Elephant porn! It's so boring! AND THEY HAVE NO EARS AT ALL! AND THEY DON'T EXIST. IT SUCKS EARS.
There isn't even any evidence that European elephants exist at all!
But... there's no evidence that they DON'T exist. Am I right?
European elephant ears do not belong in the realm of science and logic, but of theology and religion!
I have created a religion. It is called Euroelephantearianism. YOU, the faithful follower, will await the faithful day when your faithful European elephant ear actually shows up and boosts the self-esteem of hundreds of millions of people everywhere, and making many other feel inadequete.
ATTENTION!: IF YOU SPOT A EUROPEAN* ELEPHANT'S EAR, YOU HAVE SEEN A MIRACLE! THE INCARNATION OF A EUROPEAN ELEPHANT EAR THAT YOU CAN SEE AND FEEL.Well, you could just use that godmodder thing to enlargen the elephant ear sizes, but of course, if you do that, you'd be a fucking GODMODDER. See what I did there? Just don't use one-liners.
That was a favor! You have a tutorial god to mod now! It's all just a game in the end, really.
*Not imported from other continents. Must be homegrown. Not in a lab either. And mammoths don't count either, Japanese** folk. I've seen enough harry elephants for a month.
**Irrelevant, but it has to be said. Word on the 411 street is the Japanese Archipelago lacks native elephant ears, too.
That last one took a long time, so I've given my factory workers a day off, as mandated by the damn gov'mint. I lead the government though... hmm... Why the hell did I become Supreme Leader in the first place? It's like I'm some useless figurehead for the evil shadow government conspiracy.
AND THUS, THOU SHAN'T NEVER WIRE NO MONEY, FOR THY FACE CONSEQUENCES ELSEWISE. IT'S IN THE RULEBOOK, DAMNIT.