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Kaleidoscopic Eclipse's Cabinet of Curiosities [Slaves]

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:41 pm
by Khorzromoth
Greetings. Hello. Good day, or whatever period of time is applicable. And most importantly...

Welcome, dearest customers and others, to my personal collection! "I", to the extent that such a designation may be applicable, am the Spawn of the Ahxhian Gestalt currently known to verbally-communicating modosophonts as "Kaleidoscopic Eclipse". I have traveled far and visited many places over the course of my existence, and collected more consciousnesses of various beings than I can really keep track of. In truth, I don't even know why I do it. It just happens.

In any case, the fact of the matter is that I simply have amassed more "souls", as you lot like to call them, than I really know what to do with, and I've caught wind that there's great demand among the civilisations of "realspace" for low-maintenance labourers. If you happen to be among those who wish for such things, I'm most pleased to say that you're in luck! Simply give me a good quantity of whatever solid material you can spare, and tell me what kind of specifications you want your labourers to have or what service you need them to fulfill - I'll get to work moulding the raw materials into your desired form and planting consciousnesses from my collection within them, and before you know it, you'll have top-quality, custom-built, artisanal slaves right at your doorstep! And the best part? They're all so moody and glum from being all packed up in my metaphorical suitcase, they'll be positively eager to obey your every command as long as it gets them out of here.

In case you're wondering about payment, there is none. Besides the raw materials, anyway, of course. I know you all love to deal in this funny thing called "money", but unless you want me to craft my wares out of it, it isn't very useful to me. The actual properties of the material aren't particularly important - the end result will be almost identical to a normal member of the buyer's species, unless otherwise requested, with the caveat that they won't age, tire, or need nutrition. The exchange rate is 5 metric tons worth of raw material to 200kg of slave matter, which is roughly equivalent to three humans. I know, I know, it's a bit wasteful, but I'm too lazy to actually perfect the process. Sue me.

Key points:

  • 5 metric tons of material, regardless of the quality or rarity, will net you an average of three human-sized slaves
  • Slaves will match your species' physical characteristics unless specified otherwise, though mental traits may differ as the implanted consciousnesses are taken from a wide range of species
  • Slaves will require no maintenance whatsoever
Example Order:

PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Khorzromoth
  • No. of slaves requested: 1,000 slaves
  • Average mass per unit: 70 kg
  • Intended purpose: Mining
  • Other specifications: Can morph body parts into sharp objects
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Iron, coal, diamond
  • Total mass of slaves: 70,000 kg


Code: Select all
[box]PURCHASE FORM
[hr][/hr][list][*][b]Nation name: [/b][nation name]
[*][b]No. of slaves requested: [/b][insert number]
[*][b]Average mass per unit: [/b][???kg or other unit of measurement]
[*][b]Intended purpose: [/b][purpose goes here]
[*][b]Other specifications: [/b][whatever else is necessary, also specify morphology if needed]
[*][b]Material(s) used for purchase: [/b][properties aren't too important, preferably solid]
[*][b]Total mass of slaves: [/b][???kg or other unit of measurement][/list][/box]

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:08 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Monitoring this.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:14 pm
by Bloodshade
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Galactic Federation of Bloodshade
  • No. of slaves requested: 1
  • Average mass per unit: 75 kg
  • Intended purpose: Study
  • Other specifications: None, keep it as vanilla as possible. We're curious.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Titanium
  • Total mass of slaves: 75 kg

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:21 pm
by Surrealist Patagonia
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: The Avant-Gardist Commune of Patagonia
  • No. of slaves requested: 500
  • Average mass per unit: 70 kg
  • Intended purpose: For pleasure and slave labor :)
  • Other specifications: I want ones that have two dicks :)
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Ketamine
  • Total mass of slaves: 35000 kg

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:25 pm
by The Arkeyanaverse
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Erzat Braute Vielmersa(literal translation: (The) Root Dwellers)
  • No. of slaves requested: Valax-Shreguath(literal translation: Forty Five)
  • Average mass per unit: Xerasath(literal translation: 60kg)
  • Intended purpose: Shir-Nagathix(literal translation: Agriculture)
  • Other specifications: Selunasa, Thenizar Hoho illira vimu yearna(literal translation: Modified, to survive in our Home)
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Hideansah(literal translation: Root Hide)
  • Total mass of slaves: Veni-Hyprus-feli(literal translation: 2700kg)

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:28 pm
by Bani Musandam
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Bani Musandam
  • No. of slaves requested: 1
  • Average mass per unit: 60 KG
  • Intended purpose: Hug
  • Other specifications: I just want hug
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Sand
  • Total mass of slaves: 1

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:31 pm
by The Auraverse
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: The Azure Syndicate
  • No. of slaves requested: 2x10108
  • Average mass per unit: 312kg
  • Intended purpose: As of yet undetermined, pending reception.
  • Other specifications: If possible, have all biomass be composed of compacted, long-grain Basmati rice.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Neutronium
  • Total mass of slaves: 6.24x10110kg


ADDENDUM

Greetings, orb man. I think we've briefly poked at each other at some point or other, in some distant manner - regardless, I'm just interested in your methodology. Might have a follow-up order of butter humanoids - we'll have to see.

Kind Regards,

Dr. Ismael Hatlen, Director of the Azure Syndicate

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:41 pm
by Synne Industries
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: [☀ ☀ ☀]you know the one [Unknown Agent]
  • No. of slaves requested: 10
  • Average mass per unit: 6.77x1040kg
  • Intended purpose: Funsies
  • Other specifications: Volume must not exceed 0.52m3 (3-dimensional). Other than that, surprise me.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Cerebrospinal fluid
  • Total mass of slaves: 6.77x1041kg

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 9:10 pm
by Khorzromoth
Empirical Switzerland wrote:Monitoring this.

Window shopping, are we? Very well, be sure to let me know when you've made your decision. You aren't trying to disrupt my little venture here, are you? I should hope not.

Bloodshade wrote:snip

Granted. One 75kg construct, designed in standard Lahmian physiology out of the delivered quantity of titanium, should be on its way to the appropriate destination within the Galactic Federation. As always, the origin of the consciousness I used is unclear - the body may be "as vanilla as possible", but the mind might be very different from what you're used to, and most likely will take some time to adjust to its new physical form.

Surrealist Patagonia wrote:snip

Granted. Included are 300 constructs of human physiology, weighing 86.67kg on average, and 200 constructs of "skinboy" physiology, weighing 45kg on average. The humans are optimised for manual labour, while the skinboys are optimised for... other purposes. Both types, however, are biphallic; the skinboys are simply dramatically more "endowed", at the cost of all their other features being heavily atrophied. They have also been engineered so that ingesting their appropriate bodily fluids will result in a ketamine high, and their thought processes have been laced with aphrodisiac memetic agents to prevent cognitive irregularities and other issues from interfering with their intended function.

The Arkeyanaverse wrote:snip

Granted. 45 agricultural labourers have been built out of the given sample of Root Hide after a brief study of the Root Network and the conditions of life within it, and delivered to a designated pickup location within the Root Dwellers' controlled region of said Network. They have been designed after the sender's own physiology, and should have no difficulty surviving along the Network's walls - physical difficulty, in any case, though I did also select a sample of minds that seem generally better-suited to the task than most.

Bani Musandam wrote:snip

Granted. Enclosed is one 60kg construct of standard human physiology. I did a bit of tinkering with this one's mind to optimise it for your purpose, just because I'm nice like that. Nothing too wild like reconstructing its personality from the ground up, mind you, but it should be a fair bit more inclined to dispense emotional support and hugs without overt coercion than the average mind-broken sophont of forgotten origin and physical form that's been traveling around for an unclear amount of time inside a metaphorical box. I hope this will satisfy your need for hug.

The Auraverse wrote:snip

Ah, the Azure Syndicate. Yes, I do believe we've had some form of contact prior to this, though the only direct encounters have been with two other nodes operating under different names. Regardless, your order has been granted - 2x10108 312kg constructs consisting entirely of rice within the desired specifications have been routed to the Syndicate. Their physical forms have been designed for malleability to make them easily repurposable for whatever task comes to be deemed fit - this also means that a large portion of the minds occupying the constructs are even less familiar with how to operate their bodies than most other cases, with many being prone to spontaneously collapsing into amorphous rice piles, but this is a problem I expect the Syndicate should have little difficulty in remedying.

Synne Industries wrote:snip

Granted. Cramming all that mass into the required volume and keeping it all relatively in place all on my own was a little more difficult than the previous orders, but I really outdid myself this time - all 10 of them fit neatly within a 0.5m3 physical space. I can't quite guarantee they'll be intact on arrival, that depends on the physical conditions of the locale you'll be putting them in. I don't think the slaves are much more comfortable than when they were still in my pocket, though. They can't do very much with their bodies, you see, and it's hardly cushy having your mind and senses hooked up to these funny little matter chunks - maybe they're just too dense to figure out what to do with themselves. Get it? Anyway, you might be able to do something about that, or you could just leave them as they are, it's all up to you.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 9:15 pm
by Bani Musandam
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Bani Musandam
  • No. of slaves requested: 2
  • Average mass per unit: 60 KG
  • Intended purpose: Hug
  • Other specifications: I just want hug, but I want a spare in case bloodshade steals it again
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Sand
  • Total mass of slaves: 2
  • Total mass of slaves: 120 KG

PostPosted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 9:33 pm
by Khorzromoth
Bani Musandam wrote:
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Bani Musandam
  • No. of slaves requested: 2
  • Average mass per unit: 60 KG
  • Intended purpose: Hug
  • Other specifications: I just want hug, but I want a spare in case bloodshade steals it again
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Sand
  • Total mass of slaves: 2
  • Total mass of slaves: 120 KG

Tsk, tsk. Those pesky, stingy Bloodshadians could've simply asked for a new one but nooo, they had to steal from the needy. Modosophonts, I swear. No offence. In any case, your order is granted. Same deal as last time, I did some consciousness adjustments on both of them for greater inclination towards hug dispensing. They're also some of the more well-kept minds I have in my stash, so there should be minimal risk of them having spontaneous mental breakdowns mid-service. Try not to lose them. I do hope whoever came to you from Bloodshade to steal your property has their hugging needs fulfilled, but if they try that again, just direct them here.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2020 8:22 pm
by Kasa Tkoth Sphere
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Nation-of-origin Grand Bahilnem Hierarchy; private order
  • No. of slaves requested: 1,000
  • Average mass per unit: 4.5 x 109 mP (~ 98 kg) — very large standard deviation, please.
  • Intended purpose: Thinking about printing some new bodyframes for myself; need a lot of artistic inspiration. They're also getting sport-hunted once they're done, sure.
  • Other specifications: I've heard you can get pretty creative with these. I'd love if you could come up with a bunch of cellular-biological bodies from as far across the spectrum of organic physiques as you can. Lots of different aesthetics; I'm not interested in something boring.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Water ice sound good? I guess I could send over hydrocarbons and nucleic acids and such if you have to make these folks out of the payment material specifically, but that'd be annoying to ship, so that's definitely the backup option.
  • Total mass of slaves: 4.5 x 1012 mP (~ 98,000 kg)

PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2020 2:58 pm
by Khorzromoth
Kasa Tkoth Sphere wrote:
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Nation-of-origin Grand Bahilnem Hierarchy; private order
  • No. of slaves requested: 1,000
  • Average mass per unit: 4.5 x 109 mP (~ 98 kg) — very large standard deviation, please.
  • Intended purpose: Thinking about printing some new bodyframes for myself; need a lot of artistic inspiration. They're also getting sport-hunted once they're done, sure.
  • Other specifications: I've heard you can get pretty creative with these. I'd love if you could come up with a bunch of cellular-biological bodies from as far across the spectrum of organic physiques as you can. Lots of different aesthetics; I'm not interested in something boring.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Water ice sound good? I guess I could send over hydrocarbons and nucleic acids and such if you have to make these folks out of the payment material specifically, but that'd be annoying to ship, so that's definitely the backup option.
  • Total mass of slaves: 4.5 x 1012 mP (~ 98,000 kg)

Granted. You've certainly come to the right place to look for a variety of organic physiques - I've picked these critters up from all kinds of places, and disembodied as they may be, plenty of them still do have memory imprints of their original bodies lying around somewhere. A bit of rummaging through my repertoire later, with some creative liberties taken, it wasn't too hard scraping together a good thousand organic bodies of just as many different shapes and sizes out of your sample of water ice. I've got animals, plants, fungi, slime molds, you name it. Depending on how you view colonial organisms, I may have surpassed the 1,000 figure by a bit - there's more than a few of them in there, some of which have at least couple thousand semi-independent detachable sub-bodies, all piloted by bits and pieces of their original minds after I smashed them up a little to spread them out. In any case, I hope you find what you're looking for in this bunch, but you can always call back if you need more. Unless I run out of stock, of course, though chances are that isn't happening anytime soon.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 8:20 am
by Bopar
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Bopar
  • No. of slaves requested: 1000
  • Average mass per unit: 80 kg
  • Intended purpose: Mining
  • Other specifications: N/A
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Coal
  • Total mass of slaves: 80.000kg

PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2020 7:15 pm
by Synne Industries
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: [☀ ☀ ☀]you know the one [Unknown Agent]
  • No. of slaves requested: 250,000
  • Average mass per unit: 0.021kg
  • Intended purpose: Decoration and/or conversation
  • Other specifications: If at all possible, have all slave matter shaped of material appropriate for and in physical forms resembling Old Earth desk ornaments, car fresheners, fuzzy dice, and the likes.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Assorted scratch tickets
  • Total mass of slaves: 5250kg

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2020 10:06 pm
by Khorzromoth
I would like to preface both of these orders with my sincerest apologies for the delay in deliveries. "I", as a distinct "ego" within the structure of the Ahxhian Soul Web, had unfortunately ceased to be during this period of neglect as a result of... I'll just say the butterfly effect. Thankfully, my stock hasn't suffered in any particularly notable fashion after lying around unattended for a while, and neither has my craftsmanship. Worry not, dear customers, your orders and payments have been received as normal.

Bopar wrote:
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: Bopar
  • No. of slaves requested: 1000
  • Average mass per unit: 80 kg
  • Intended purpose: Mining
  • Other specifications: N/A
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Coal
  • Total mass of slaves: 80.000kg

Granted, that's 2,000 tons of coal expertly fashioned into 1,000 sturdy, well-built slaves for all your mining needs. A simple, familiar order for a change, getting wild and creative with these is good and all but sometimes it's nice to go back to the basics. I must say, though, it's not quite the material I'd be expecting for a mining order - people tend to want coal when they use these, and people who want coal wouldn't be so eager to dispense with so much of it - but who am I to judge such things? It isn't my place to speculate over the economic circumstances of my customers. Expect your slaves to arrive promptly.

Synne Industries wrote:
PURCHASE FORM

  • Nation name: [☀ ☀ ☀]you know the one [Unknown Agent]
  • No. of slaves requested: 250,000
  • Average mass per unit: 0.021kg
  • Intended purpose: Decoration and/or conversation
  • Other specifications: If at all possible, have all slave matter shaped of material appropriate for and in physical forms resembling Old Earth desk ornaments, car fresheners, fuzzy dice, and the likes.
  • Material(s) used for purchase: Assorted scratch tickets
  • Total mass of slaves: 5250kg

Granted. I did my best to keep everything within the bounds of design styles and material compositions appropriate to what you've termed "Old Earth" - a quaint little collection of trinkets, to be sure. Conversation may be a little more difficult, at least initially - a lot of them don't seem too keen on being stuck inside inert objects, with a few of them objecting particularly strongly to being "made into marketable plushies", whatever that means. I also arranged some of the more conflicting personalities into matching sets, just for the fun of it. They'll come around eventually, I'm sure. And if they don't, I suppose that's where the "and/or" comes in handy. The one thing I can guarantee you is that they'll make neat decorations.