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Imperial Swiss Mountain Vaults!

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2020 10:08 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Ever wanted to hide that cold hard cash of yours somewhere safe and away from your nation that is constantly rebelling against you as their dictator? Or just wanted to keep your mula safe? Well, you’re in luck!! Because the Imperial Swiss Vaults are opening up their doors to you for safekeeping of your treasures! How it works, is in our mountainous landscape we have planted vaults all over the Imperial Alps in the highest of peaks and deadly of mountains, only accessible via our helicopters and helipads! And let’s be honest, if a robber can afford one of our helicopters, I don’t think they need your money! So, invest in an Imperial Swiss Vault today! You won’t regret it!
Vault Ownership Tax: 5% of all of the worth that goes into the vault every time new valuables are stored.
Routine weekly checks are held just to ensure no dangerous items that could injure any of our Switizens in a terrorist act are not present, if you are not a scumbag then you have nothing to worry about! There is also an initial payout to buy a single vault upfront before the ownership fee, this payment amounts up to 1.2 million Switzcoins, or whatever your currency is, but we can assure you that with our out of this world military defense measures put on these vaults, they're practically their own mini-armies with the security measures in place!

New Section!
Vault Class ranges from Classes 1-5, and they represent the security your vault is given in what location it s at! Keep in mind, All vaults do have the same advances high security military-grade protection measures, however the class indicates the safety of it's location, here is the Class and Tax for all classes:

Class 1: Easily spotted in an area of a mountain at least 200 ft above any accessible building or spot to the public, usually on the slope of a smooth mountain that is hard to climb, but easy to keep footing on, and if found vault security ensures it's safety.
Tax: 3%
Height: 200-299 ft above accessible ground

Class 2: Somewhat hidden reflective surface makes the vault difficult to notice on the mountainside, but not impossible. It is 300 ft at least above any accessible surfaces below, and for reference is usually above the height of The Statue of Liberty. It is on a mountain that is ensured no climbers without a special permit and government approval can climb, making them trusted, even though access to the vault is impossible to them.
Tax: 6%
Height: 300-450 ft above accessible ground

Class 3: A hidden and reflective paint as well as advanced Swiss Military camouflage ensures the covering and hiding of the vault's surface from far away, and up close. To further ensure its safety it is placed on mountains that are recommended to the public to not climb on, and can only be climbed by extremely experienced climbers, and they are hidden away from all known routes up the mountain, making them nearly invisible. They are at the least 500 ft and can go even higher above accessible grounds.
Tax: 10%
Height: 500-799 ft above accessible ground

Class 4: Vaults are hidden in reasonable parts of caverns inside the mountains, allowing for total invisibility from the surface. They are places not too far down to ensure the ability to move objects in. They are places inside mountains that are forbidden to the public and many people wouldn't dare climb on, making any chance of average civilian discovery improbable and near impossible. They are hidden in spots 800 ft at the lowest above normal and walkable ground on the surface, and are ensured cavern interference will not affect the vault's inside containment.
Tax: 15%
Height: 800-999 ft above accessible surface ground

Class 5: These vaults are absolutely insane! With positions appointed by the best and most extreme military strategists and approved by people with a genius IQ or higher, these vaults are not only absolutely impenetrable by just the public, but also some of the worlds best military superpowers! The Mountains they are selected to be on are absolutely forbidden to any member of the public and hidden in access through pipelines that are labeled as chemicals and gases such as oil, there is no other accessible way in by humans! For as soon as the vault is sealed the hatch breaks off and a key is to be sent to the leader of your nation holding it! With positions deep within mountains with the rockiest slopes in the entire region of Karma, and most aggressive and dangerous wildlife and activity such as venomous snakes and constant rockfalls, there is no reason any sane, or insane, person would have a reason to scale this mountain, besides being suicidal(even though we do allow euthanasia)! It is absolutely impossible to detect from anything of todays technology, even tech that is secret to the public! With this vault comes a hefty price, but absolutely sheer assurance that nobody will find this!
Tax: 20-35% (Negotiable)
Height: 1000-3000 above accessible surface ground

To get one just fill this format out!

Country Name:
Planned Valuables:
Time of ownership:
Vault Class:
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):


Great! I hope you purchase a vault today!

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2020 8:47 am
by Wack-i
Country Name: Wack-i
Planned Valuables: Tanks, oversized lemons, nuclear submarines, war plans. (weapons are unoccupied and turned off)
Time of ownership: 6 Months
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 4

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2020 9:22 am
by Empirical Switzerland
Wack-i wrote:Country Name: Wack-i
Planned Valuables: Tanks, oversized lemons, nuclear submarines, war plans. (weapons are unoccupied and turned off)
Time of ownership: 6 Months
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 4

Great! Preparing Vault in the Matterhorn now! Please enjoy your quality protection, just hop into a helicopter with me and lets go straight to it!

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 4:43 am
by World Web
Country Name: World Web
Planned Valuables: Nuclear Weapons
Time of ownership: 3 months
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 3

PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 5:56 am
by Empirical Switzerland
World Web wrote:Country Name: World Web
Planned Valuables: Nuclear Weapons
Time of ownership: 3 months
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 3

your purchase has been made! follow me in into this helicopter and into the side of this mountain! Just make sure to turn off your weapons of mass destruction!

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 5:36 pm
by The Island of Blanc
Country: Island of Blanc
Planned valuables: 3 tons of Uranium, 5 Ballistic missles, 1 mini frige, 5 Heavy Tanks.
Time of ownership, 2 years
Number of Vaults, 2

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 5:48 pm
by New Equestria
Country Name: Holy Empire of New Equestria
Planned Valuables: 12.3 Billion NSD from the State Treasury Reserve, 1.7 tons of Gold Bullion, an experimental Rifled Percussion Cap Cannon, a full circus to include a bearded woman, a few thousand tubs of ice cream (for aforementioned "bearded woman"), the scrapped remnants of an inventor's attempt at a flying machine (rest his soul), the cousin of the State Department of Weight and Measures Under Assistant Secretary's clerk's oderly's servant, a certain carraige of certain sentimental value, a keg of beer, papers written by our glorious Emperor whilst being tutored as a schoolboy that are of an especially embarrassing nature, a few dozen priceless works of art, some pottery, 231 marble statues in the style of ancient Roman art, 13 ACTUAL ancient Roman statues, a portrait of the Emperor accompanied by a bust of him on his 21st Annual Half Quarter Weekly birthday celebration, 100 multiple book volumes detailing the (almost) complete history of the nation, a 17th century re-constructed Imperial Galleon, what we think is a unicorn but could also be a rhinoceros (we're not sure what either is), and 3 and a half Pomeranians (don't ask).
Time of ownership: As soon as may be achieved
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): I'm sure with some creativity we can fit them into 1

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 8:41 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
New Equestria wrote:Country Name: Holy Empire of New Equestria
Planned Valuables: 12.3 Billion NSD from the State Treasury Reserve, 1.7 tons of Gold Bullion, an experimental Rifled Percussion Cap Cannon, a full circus to include a bearded woman, a few thousand tubs of ice cream (for aforementioned "bearded woman"), the scrapped remnants of an inventor's attempt at a flying machine (rest his soul), the cousin of the State Department of Weight and Measures Under Assistant Secretary's clerk's oderly's servant, a certain carraige of certain sentimental value, a keg of beer, papers written by our glorious Emperor whilst being tutored as a schoolboy that are of an especially embarrassing nature, a few dozen priceless works of art, some pottery, 231 marble statues in the style of ancient Roman art, 13 ACTUAL ancient Roman statues, a portrait of the Emperor accompanied by a bust of him on his 21st Annual Half Quarter Weekly birthday celebration, 100 multiple book volumes detailing the (almost) complete history of the nation, a 17th century re-constructed Imperial Galleon, what we think is a unicorn but could also be a rhinoceros (we're not sure what either is), and 3 and a half Pomeranians (don't ask).
Time of ownership: As soon as may be achieved
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): I'm sure with some creativity we can fit them into 1

Oh my! Somebody came with a plan didnt they?! Okay Coming right up! Just follow me into this helicopter!

PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2020 8:42 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
The Island of Blanc wrote:Country: Island of Blanc
Planned valuables: 3 tons of Uranium, 5 Ballistic missles, 1 mini frige, 5 Heavy Tanks.
Time of ownership, 2 years
Number of Vaults, 2

Coming right up sir! Just follow me!

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2020 5:14 pm
by Voxija
Country Name: Voxija
Planned Valuables: The porn stashes of the president and his husband from when they were teens. It has a sentimental value.
Time of ownership: 5 years
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 1 vault

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2020 7:30 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Voxija wrote:Country Name: Voxija
Planned Valuables: The porn stashes of the president and his husband from when they were teens. It has a sentimental value.
Time of ownership: 5 years
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 1 vault

As the tax of putting stuff in can our leader watch 5% of it?
lol, okay coming right up!

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 9:10 am
by Reino do Brazil
Country Name: The United Kingdom of Reino do Brazil
Planned Valuables: at our discretion
Time of ownership: 5 years renegotiable
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 5

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 10:07 am
by Empirical Switzerland
Reino do Brazil wrote:Country Name: The United Kingdom of Reino do Brazil
Planned Valuables: at our discretion
Time of ownership: 5 years renegotiable
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 5

Sir, we would love to do business with you whoever we need to know in case of any items that could hurt anybody in our nation.

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 10:13 am
by Reino do Brazil
Empirical Switzerland wrote:
Reino do Brazil wrote:Country Name: The United Kingdom of Reino do Brazil
Planned Valuables: at our discretion
Time of ownership: 5 years renegotiable
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): 5

Sir, we would love to do business with you whoever we need to know in case of any items that could hurt anybody in our nation.


Sirs, MoD secret accounts, several tons of gold, conventional weapons, passports and currency.

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 11:40 am
by Empirical Switzerland
Reino do Brazil wrote:
Empirical Switzerland wrote:Sir, we would love to do business with you whoever we need to know in case of any items that could hurt anybody in our nation.


Sirs, MoD secret accounts, several tons of gold, conventional weapons, passports and currency.

Great! A vault is coming right up! Thankyou for purchasing from us! We were glad to serve you! Just make sure to disarm any weapons for the time being!

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 11:59 am
by The Peoples Stick
Country Name: The Queendom of Lady Justice
Planned Valuables: 20,000 labour vouchers, the second crown, the files on alll opposition leaders
Time of ownership: 2035
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):
3

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 12:02 pm
by Champagne Socialist Sharifistan
Country Name: The Sultanate of Sharifistan
Planned Valuables:
190,000 gold dinars, a business book,
How to Be a Good King by Sultan Suleiman Khan and a plan vis vis returning from likely exile if the worst came to the worst.
Time of ownership: 2020.
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):
3

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 12:50 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
The Peoples Stick wrote:Country Name: The Queendom of Lady Justice
Planned Valuables: 20,000 labour vouchers, the second crown, the files on alll opposition leaders
Time of ownership: 2035
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):
3

Coming right up! Thankyou for purchasing a vault!

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 12:50 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Champagne Socialist Sharifistan wrote:Country Name: The Sultanate of Sharifistan
Planned Valuables:
190,000 gold dinars, a business book,
How to Be a Good King by Sultan Suleiman Khan and a plan vis vis returning from likely exile if the worst came to the worst.
Time of ownership: 2020.
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):
3

Thank you for purchasing a vault! We are storing your items as we speak into the vaults!

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 12:53 pm
by Monsone
Country Name: Republican Federation of Monsone
Planned Valuables: 35 tonnes of gold, 35 tonnes of silver, 35 tonnes of platinum, F9,000,000,000
Time of ownership: 2020
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): Probably 3

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 1:09 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Monsone wrote:Country Name: Republican Federation of Monsone
Planned Valuables: 35 tonnes of gold, 35 tonnes of silver, 35 tonnes of platinum, F9,000,000,000
Time of ownership: 2020
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): Probably 3

Great! Just keep in mind that as soon as something is put in it is taxed 5% of its worth

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 2:57 pm
by Monsone
Empirical Switzerland wrote:
Monsone wrote:Country Name: Republican Federation of Monsone
Planned Valuables: 35 tonnes of gold, 35 tonnes of silver, 35 tonnes of platinum, F9,000,000,000
Time of ownership: 2020
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time): Probably 3

Great! Just keep in mind that as soon as something is put in it is taxed 5% of its worth


Hmm. Then the Monsonian government would like to revoke it's aplication the the basis that 5% is not a competitive rate when it comes to the taxation of hidden goods.

PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2020 7:56 pm
by Empirical Switzerland
Monsone wrote:
Empirical Switzerland wrote:Great! Just keep in mind that as soon as something is put in it is taxed 5% of its worth


Hmm. Then the Monsonian government would like to revoke it's aplication the the basis that 5% is not a competitive rate when it comes to the taxation of hidden goods.

We are trying to be nice and friendly, we are planning on raising these taxes later, but if you want to see higher taxes check out our new section on vault class!

PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2020 4:26 am
by Danistarab
Country Name:Danistarab
Planned Valuables: 7,600,000,000 Dinars and 7000 ounces of weed
Time of ownership:2020
Vault Class:3
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):5

PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2020 7:02 am
by Empirical Switzerland
Danistarab wrote:Country Name:Danistarab
Planned Valuables: 7,600,000,000
Time of ownership:2020
Vault Class:
Number of vaults (max:5 at a time):5

This is great but I need to know your vault class and what exactly you are storing, thankyou