Ebola-Chan Project Bio-Weapon Sales

[Tornado Queendom]

The Ebola-Chan Project is the Tornado Queendom's Bio-Weapons lab, and it's now selling an overstock of its "Ebola Bombs". Of course, the price is $50,000 for each Ebola Bomb. Of course, our mascot is Ebola-Chan. We hope you enjoy these bio-weapons, and remember: there's no cure for love.

Code: Select all

Name:
Amount bought:
Planned Usage:
Payment Method:
Notes:

[Mockia]

Name: Mockia
Amount bought: 2,000
Planned Usage: To prevent dead memes from rising again
Payment Method: Dogecoins
Notes: Thank you, Ebola-chan.

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: Mockia
Amount bought: 2,000
Planned Usage: To prevent dead memes from rising again
Payment Method: Dogecoins
Notes: Thank you, Ebola-chan.

Approved, enjoy your Ebola to keep dead memes dead.

[Aeprelh]

Name: Aeprelh
Amount bought: 5 bombs
Planned Usage: Studying; usage in case of emergency (WILL ONLY BE USED AS A LAST RESORT)
Payment Method: Bitcoin
Notes: We'll study them for how they work, and we'll ONLY use them when there's no other options.

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: Aeprelh
Amount bought: 5 bombs
Planned Usage: Studying; usage in case of emergency (WILL ONLY BE USED AS A LAST RESORT)
Payment Method: Bitcoin
Notes: We'll study them for how they work, and we'll ONLY use them when there's no other options.

Approved

[Konolas]

Name: Konolas
Amount bought: 1
Planned Usage: «Study»
Payment Method: Bitcoin
Notes: We’re going to «study» it to maybe find out how is this bomb made. WE’RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE MORE I PROMISE

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: Konolas
Amount bought: 1
Planned Usage: «Study»
Payment Method: Bitcoin
Notes: We’re going to «study» it to maybe find out how is this bomb made. WE’RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE MORE I PROMISE

Approved...?

[Ximea]

"Yes. Good. Now dance for me, my children. Dance for your papa." Doktor Wunderbar, the nation's leader, a scientist of terrifying intellect, a mad genius, a hopeless alcoholic who dressed as a plague doctor, squinted into a microscope. Amorphous shapes writhed within his field of view.

"Herr Doktor?" a man in a white, full-body protective suit poked his head through a door. His name was Becchino. "Shouldn't you be wearing a suit?"

Doktor Wunderbar poked the beak of his mask. "It's full of herbs and aromatic resins that will protect me from miasmas and the pestilence."

They were in one of the biosafety level 4 laboratories of a massive scientific complex. This routine had played out before. Becchino honestly did not know if the outlandish plague doctor outfit was really some kind of disguised personal protective equipment, with a full-body positive pressure suit under the coat and HEPA filters in the bird mask. He suspected, however, that the Doktor was telling the truth and only sheer will and transcendent madness protected him from lethal infection.

"What, ah...what are you working on there?"

Doktor Wunderbar looked up from the scope. He produced a flask of whiskey and took a long, hearty sip through a port in the mask. "I've made an infectious disease out of my own blood."

"You...what." It was not phrased as a question. Becchino was not surprised or confused, just dismayed.

"Inspired by 'devil facial tumor disease.' I extracted blood cells, isolated the interesting ones, turned them into cancer, and made the cancer contagious." He took another gulp from his flask. "Really contagious."

"For the love of god, why?"

Beat.

"I don't understand the question."

"Anyway," Becchino continued, "we've received an advertisement from Ebola-Chan Project Bio-Weapon Sales. They're selling - "

"I want one." Doktor Wunderbar turned back to his microscope.

"You want an Ebola bomb?"

"I want an Ebola-chan," the Doktor said.

"Sir...excuse me?"

"If I can turn my own cells into a disease, they can turn a disease into a waifu. We can provide the technical expertise if necessary. Go ahead and place the order."

Becchino took a moment to consider the life choices that had brought him to this position, and left the room.

"Soon, my children," Doktor Wunderbar cooed as he peered again into the microscope. "Soon..."

Name: Doktor Wunderbar, the Scientific Technocracy of Ximea
Amount bought: 1 Ebola-Chan
Planned Usage: Laboratory assistant, platonic headpats
Payment Method: Gold bullion, untraceable
Notes: The Doktor has requested an "Ebola-Chan" instead of the product offered for sale. I don't know what that is, but he claims he knows how to make one. I'm sorry.

[Tornado Queendom]

"Yes. Good. Now dance for me, my children. Dance for your papa." Doktor Wunderbar, the nation's leader, a scientist of terrifying intellect, a mad genius, a hopeless alcoholic who dressed as a plague doctor, squinted into a microscope. Amorphous shapes writhed within his field of view.

"Herr Doktor?" a man in a white, full-body protective suit poked his head through a door. His name was Becchino. "Shouldn't you be wearing a suit?"

Doktor Wunderbar poked the beak of his mask. "It's full of herbs and aromatic resins that will protect me from miasmas and the pestilence."

They were in one of the biosafety level 4 laboratories of a massive scientific complex. This routine had played out before. Becchino honestly did not know if the outlandish plague doctor outfit was really some kind of disguised personal protective equipment, with a full-body positive pressure suit under the coat and HEPA filters in the bird mask. He suspected, however, that the Doktor was telling the truth and only sheer will and transcendent madness protected him from lethal infection.

"What, ah...what are you working on there?"

Doktor Wunderbar looked up from the scope. He produced a flask of whiskey and took a long, hearty sip through a port in the mask. "I've made an infectious disease out of my own blood."

"You...what." It was not phrased as a question. Becchino was not surprised or confused, just dismayed.

"Inspired by 'devil facial tumor disease.' I extracted blood cells, isolated the interesting ones, turned them into cancer, and made the cancer contagious." He took another gulp from his flask. "Really contagious."

"For the love of god, why?"

Beat.

"I don't understand the question."

"Anyway," Becchino continued, "we've received an advertisement from Ebola-Chan Project Bio-Weapon Sales. They're selling - "

"I want one." Doktor Wunderbar turned back to his microscope.

"You want an Ebola bomb?"

"I want an Ebola-chan," the Doktor said.

"Sir...excuse me?"

"If I can turn my own cells into a disease, they can turn a disease into a waifu. We can provide the technical expertise if necessary. Go ahead and place the order."

Becchino took a moment to consider the life choices that had brought him to this position, and left the room.

"Soon, my children," Doktor Wunderbar cooed as he peered again into the microscope. "Soon..."

Name: Doktor Wunderbar, the Scientific Technocracy of Ximea
Amount bought: 1 Ebola-Chan
Planned Usage: Laboratory assistant, platonic headpats
Payment Method: Gold bullion, untraceable
Notes: The Doktor has requested an "Ebola-Chan" instead of the product offered for sale. I don't know what that is, but he claims he knows how to make one. I'm sorry.

Approved, we're using our cloning machines to create a clone of our mascot.

[Alt-Right Death Squads]

Name: ARDS
Amount bought: x8
Planned Usage: Terrorism
Payment Method: cash money
*Notes: Please include the statement, "Cultural Enrichment" on each x8 bombs.

[Monsone]

Name: Monsone
Amount bought: 5,000
Planned Usage: To study and keep as a last resort option in case of war.
Payment Method: Federalisks
Notes: The weapons will hopefully never be used in any conflict, and the MoD has requested them, saying something about pandemics and prevention of pandemics. WE SWEAR THAT NONE WILL BE COPIED...probably...

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: ARDS
Amount bought: x8
Planned Usage: Terrorism
Payment Method: cash money
*Notes: Please include the statement, "Cultural Enrichment" on each x8 bombs.

Approved, as we are willing to fund any militant group that isn't Jihadist or SJW.

Name: Monsone
Amount bought: 5,000
Planned Usage: To study and keep as a last resort option in case of war.
Payment Method: Federalisks
Notes: The weapons will hopefully never be used in any conflict, and the MoD has requested them, saying something about pandemics and prevention of pandemics. WE SWEAR THAT NONE WILL BE COPIED...probably...

Approved, though I don't know why you would buy them when you aren't gonna use them.

[Victorious Decepticons]

Name: Victorious Decepticons
Amount bought: 10
Planned Usage: It's enjoyable irony to kill biologicals with other biologicals, so, biological warfare
Payment Method: We've got crude oil, steel, and copper in quantities large enough for the trade. Or we can give you a loaded "Decepticard" debit card. Or just print you up some money that is guaranteed to be accepted by banks with lower technology than ours. Your choice.
Notes: Of course, most of our warfare is done in much more direct ways, but some bio-supremacist nations just need to be shown their real places in the food chain...

[Synne Industries]

Buying Order from the Synnian Steelport Militia

---

Deal proposal:
Name: Wilmar Sherrib Schröder
Amount bought: 150 bombs
Planned Usage: Scientific Experimentation
Payment Method: Synnian CrybtoCoins
Notes: Please eliminate all information of this purchase from records, will pay extra if needed

Total cost: $7,500,000 worth of CybtoCoins

Equipment details: 150 Ebola-Chan "Ebola Bombs", no modifications

---

- Steelport Militia Leader Wilmar S. Schröder

[Klorgia1]

The Klorgian government would like to know how much of the Ebola virus are in your bombs, how its sustained, and how it will be moved to our secure facilities in the event we take....Greater interest.

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: Victorious Decepticons
Amount bought: 10
Planned Usage: It's enjoyable irony to kill biologicals with other biologicals, so, biological warfare
Payment Method: We've got crude oil, steel, and copper in quantities large enough for the trade. Or we can give you a loaded "Decepticard" debit card. Or just print you up some money that is guaranteed to be accepted by banks with lower technology than ours. Your choice.
Notes: Of course, most of our warfare is done in much more direct ways, but some bio-supremacist nations just need to be shown their real places in the food chain...

Approved, we'll take the oil and the printing money. Remember though, we have BitCoin.

(Image)

(Image)

Buying Order from the Synnian Steelport Militia

---

Deal proposal:
Name: Wilmar Sherrib Schröder
Amount bought: 150 bombs
Planned Usage: Scientific Experimentation
Payment Method: Synnian CrybtoCoins
Notes: Please eliminate all information of this purchase from records, will pay extra if needed

Total cost: $7,500,000 worth of CybtoCoins

Equipment details: 150 Ebola-Chan "Ebola Bombs", no modifications

---

- Steelport Militia Leader Wilmar S. Schröder

Approved, we are gonna censor everything.

The Klorgian government would like to know how much of the Ebola virus are in your bombs, how its sustained, and how it will be moved to our secure facilities in the event we take....Greater interest.

It tends to vary, from around a few viruses to a bomb filled with viruses. Of course, we use Imperial system to measure. They're sustained by freezing the viruses until they are ready to be used, them spreading them when the bomb explodes. They'll be moved in 18 x 14 x 12 inch boxes (45.72cm x 35.56cm x 30.48cm for those who are too lazy to do the math to use the superior imperial system), and will be split into parts.

[Peoples Republic of Joyea]

name:People republic of joyea
Amount bought: 100
Planned Usage: testing
Payment Method: Scud B missiles
Notes:

[Tornado Queendom]

name:People republic of joyea
Amount bought: 100
Planned Usage: testing
Payment Method: Scud B missiles
Notes:

Approved, we'll take the Scud B's and watch as you do some weapons testing.

[The united American-Isreali empire]

Name:united American-isreali empire
Amount bought: 10,000,000 tons
Planned Usage: storage in case of war needs
Payment Method: gold coins
Notes: we will love to collect these weapons, since we have a lot of weaponry we store for use.

[Qhevak]

Name: BioX MicroCorp
Amount bought: 1
Planned Usage: Research
Payment Method: Gold Bullion
Notes:

[Tornado Queendom]

Name:united American-isreali empire
Amount bought: 10,000,000 tons
Planned Usage: storage in case of war needs
Payment Method: gold coins
Notes: we will love to collect these weapons, since we have a lot of weaponry we store for use.

Approved, we'll get RICH.

Name: BioX MicroCorp
Amount bought: 1
Planned Usage: Research
Payment Method: Gold Bullion
Notes:

Approved, though I don't know why you wouldn't use them in war.

[Greater Cebu]

Name: Dr. Calvin Perez
Amount bought: 10 Ebola bombs and 1 Ebola-chan
Planned Usage: Research
Payment Method: Etherium (untraced)
Notes: It is so weird that I even question my career choice. Premier Calvin Perez is somehow into "hentai and tentacles". A world leader obsessed with cartoons. He may be the leader of the glorious country but, oh dear, he knows how to hide his obsession very well that I just figured out his obsession recently. BTW, ship it to Space Port Xanatraz, Alikenea Galaxy, Universe C-267. I will send you the coordinates.

[Tornado Queendom]

Name: Dr. Calvin Perez
Amount bought: 10 Ebola bombs and 1 Ebola-chan
Planned Usage: Research
Payment Method: Etherium (untraced)
Notes: It is so weird that I even question my career choice. Premier Calvin Perez is somehow into "hentai and tentacles". A world leader obsessed with cartoons. He may be the leader of the glorious country but, oh dear, he knows how to hide his obsession very well that I just figured out his obsession recently. BTW, ship it to Space Port Xanatraz, Alikenea Galaxy, Universe C-267. I will send you the coordinates.

Approved, we'll clone the Ebola-Chan.

[The united American-Isreali empire]

Name:united American-isreali empire
Amount bought: 10,000,000 tons
Planned Usage: storage in case of war needs
Payment Method: gold coins
Notes: we will love to collect these weapons, since we have a lot of weaponry we store for use.

Approved, we'll get RICH.

Name: BioX MicroCorp
Amount bought: 1
Planned Usage: Research
Payment Method: Gold Bullion
Notes:

Approved, though I don't know why you wouldn't use them in war.

who said we wont, we collect a lot so if we are attacked we can fight back. we also are offering you land to produce your weapons on the uaie and help cover consuction costys or repairs needed.

[Tornado Queendom]

Approved, we'll get RICH.

Approved, though I don't know why you wouldn't use them in war.

who said we wont, we collect a lot so if we are attacked we can fight back. we also are offering you land to produce your weapons on the uaie and help cover consuction costys or repairs needed.

OK, we need the territory map.