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Bob's Wooden Spoons- Get Spooned! (MT OPEN)

A meeting place where national storefronts can tout their wares and discuss trade. [In character]
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Australian rePublic
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Bob's Wooden Spoons- Get Spooned! (MT OPEN)

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:11 am

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Do you need cooking utensils? Do you need a diciplinary device to use on your children? Do you need to remind the team who finishes last in your sporting competition that they're shit? Whatever the need may be, well let Bob Spoon you! Bob sells high quality wooden spoons at low, low prices! High quality wooden spoons at low prices.

Do you need to laugh at the looser of your tipping competition? Well then laugh at them when giving them wood- the wooden spoon that is!
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:46 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Sporting Uses

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:31 am

Does your sporting competition need to add insult to injury to the team who finishes absolutely last? Do you need to remind them of how shitty their performance was during the year? Well then give them the spoon! Wooden spoons represent failure in sports. By giving them the wooden spoon, you will be using the idiom litterarly!

Also you can use wooden spoons in your
League's Club's many resturants (see culinary uses)
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Culinary Uses

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:41 am

Do you run a resturant? Do you own a pub? Do you run an establishment with multiple resturants (League's Clubs, RSL clubs, hotels, etc.) Do you teach cooking classes? Do you cook at home? Are you a professional chef or cook? Are you studying cooking? In either case, you need a wooden spoon. Wooden spoons are used for stiring! How can you cook without incorporating the important task of stiring in atleast most of your meals?

Whatever the type of cuisine, stiring is important in cooking, and with a good quality wooden spoon, you will be stiring like a pro
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Other Uses

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:01 am

Is your child a brat? Do you wish to give your child the mental illness most commonly known as "respect for others?" Well using Bob's spoons as a diciplinary tool will instill the permanant mental scars that come with respect for others!

Do you run a high-end school? Are you a tight-arse? Do you want to give your students a cheap item that they can give to their parents as a cheap Mother's/Father's Day present? Well then buy them wooden spoons. Not just any wooden spoons, Bob's wooden spoons. Buy them some cheap paint, get your students to paint, and tah dah! Painted wooden spoons!

Do you run the local fire department and need to remind people to keep looking when they're cooking? Print it on a spoon!

Do you own a trophy shop? Well then, Bob's wooden spoons can be on-sold to your customsers

Do you own a spoon distribution company? Well Bob's wooden spoons is for you!
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:04 am

Reserved for future expsnsion
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All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
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Frequeny asked question?

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:06 am

Surely you have some burning question
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All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Prices

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:10 am

Spoons: $5 each
Price per 500: $ 2400
Price per thousand: $ 4000 each

Engraved spoons: $ 5000 per 1000
Wooden spoons for sporting competitions or related contests: $10 each
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:21 am

Buy today- get spooned tomorrow!**

**must order before 4 pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (winter) or Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time. Does not apply to weekends or public holidays. Does not apply over the Christmas break. Next day delivery guarantee is not applicable to all nations, and not all places within the nations that it does apply. Other factors may limit next day delivery. Next day delivery is not a guarantee
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
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My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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The Royal Empire of the Lemons
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Posts: 317
Founded: Sep 10, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby The Royal Empire of the Lemons » Tue Aug 29, 2017 7:52 am

Dear Bob's Wooden Spoons

I would like an engraved wooden spoon that says "Talk shit, get hit" in cursive. I need it for teaching the ambassador to the WA not to be a damn softie cooking.

Yours Sincerely,
Otto Cooper
Minister of Defense
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King: Finn Lemon
Ambassador to the WA: Angelina Noel
Minister of Defense: Otto Cooper

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Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:14 am

Australian Republic wrote:Buy today- get spooned tomorrow!**

**must order before 4 pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (winter) or Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time. Does not apply to weekends or public holidays. Does not apply over the Christmas break. Next day delivery guarantee is not applicable to all nations, and not all places within the nations that it does apply. Other factors may limit next day delivery. Next day delivery is not a guarantee

To: Bob's Wooden Spoons
From: FatEx

We would like to offer our delivery services for any orders that you have to be delivered in Fatatatutti. Or motto is, "When it absolutely, positively has to be somewhere eventually." If we don't deliver your goods somewhere, sometime, we will definitely send you a letter of apology which you may or may not receive. For a small additional nominal exorbitant fee, we will make an effort to deliver to the addressee. We also offer international services.

P.S. Do not pay any attention to our rivals, the Untied Parcel Service. They are unreliable.

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:39 pm

The Royal Empire of the Lemons wrote:Dear Bob's Wooden Spoons

I would like an engraved wooden spoon that says "Talk shit, get hit" in cursive. I need it for teaching the ambassador to the WA not to be a damn softie cooking.

Yours Sincerely,
Otto Cooper
Minister of Defense

Accepted!
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:40 pm

Fatatatutti wrote:
Australian Republic wrote:Buy today- get spooned tomorrow!**

**must order before 4 pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (winter) or Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time. Does not apply to weekends or public holidays. Does not apply over the Christmas break. Next day delivery guarantee is not applicable to all nations, and not all places within the nations that it does apply. Other factors may limit next day delivery. Next day delivery is not a guarantee

To: Bob's Wooden Spoons
From: FatEx

We would like to offer our delivery services for any orders that you have to be delivered in Fatatatutti. Or motto is, "When it absolutely, positively has to be somewhere eventually." If we don't deliver your goods somewhere, sometime, we will definitely send you a letter of apology which you may or may not receive. For a small additional nominal exorbitant fee, we will make an effort to deliver to the addressee. We also offer international services.

P.S. Do not pay any attention to our rivals, the Untied Parcel Service. They are unreliable.

Accepted
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Regalis Union
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 166
Founded: Jul 21, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Regalis Union » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:49 pm

Dear Bob's Wooden Spoons,
The goverment needs 100 spoons that say "Timber!" on them for the Wooden Fiesta.
Last edited by Regalis Union on Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:19 pm

Regalis Union wrote:Dear Bob's Wooden Spoons,
The goverment needs 100 spoons that say "Timber!" on them for the Wooden Fiesta.

Accepted!
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Valkiir
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Posts: 989
Founded: Jan 31, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Valkiir » Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:33 pm

I need some information before I decide to purchase.

are they
  • Lead free
  • Organic
  • Gluten free
  • Free Range
  • Cruelty Free
  • Sustainably grown and harvested in an environmentally conscious manner

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:12 am

Valkiir wrote:I need some information before I decide to purchase.

are they
  • Lead free
  • Organic
  • Gluten free
  • Free Range
  • Cruelty Free
  • Sustainably grown and harvested in an environmentally conscious manner

Lead Free- There's no metal in them
Organic- I suppose
Gluten Free- They're made of timbre. We strongly advise that humans do not eat them
Free Range- Trees don't move
Cruelty Free- Trees don't feel pain
Sustainably Grown and harvested- Of coarse they are. We're not gonna destroy every tree- our only source of revenue- without replacing it
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Arthropol
Minister
 
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Founded: May 19, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Arthropol » Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:47 am

Our prime minister wishes to order two wooden spoons for cooking purposes.
Kingdom of Arthropol - Royaume d'Arthropol
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Capital: Arthropol City
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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Aug 31, 2017 4:55 am

Arthropol wrote:Our prime minister wishes to order two wooden spoons for cooking purposes.

Accepted
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Australian rePublic
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Posts: 32200
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:42 am

It's been too long since Bob's spooned someone!
NationStates' resident cockroach. I've been around forever, I'm a pest. I'm everywhere and you can't get rid of me
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
Greek Australian----Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png

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Democratic Exodian Territories
Minister
 
Posts: 2710
Founded: Aug 29, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Democratic Exodian Territories » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:32 am

From: Exodian Secret Service
To: Bob’s Wooden Spoons

May we ask, do you also sell soup spoons? Are these spoons clean and made of non-scented wood, and will not taint the taste of soup when they’re dipped in it?
Last edited by Democratic Exodian Territories on Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Nov 13, 2017 10:31 pm

Democratic Exodian Territories wrote:From: Exodian Secret Service
To: Bob’s Wooden Spoons

May we ask, do you also sell soup spoons? Are these spoons clean and made of non-scented wood, and will not taint the taste of soup when they’re dipped in it?

Sure
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All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
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Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
My countryball, courtesy of Recaxa https://i.imgur.com/SPUTpra.png


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