Welcome to my house.
I sell things.
They are good things.
Chew will like them.
Item # 1
Stink No Mo
Your friends and family talked to us and they said you need this. Really. Just buy it. This was made for you.
PRICE: $33.99
Also available in the twin pack with Lame No Mo for just an additional $10!!
Item # 2
Steam Powered Pogo Stick
To go with that super riveted leather flying helmet? Seriously? Steampunk's dead man. Deal.
PRICE: 50 platinum ingots...Or a bite of your burrito. Come on, man. I'm hungry. Just one bite?
Item # 3
Tickle Me Chupacabra
Actually, don't tickle him. Really. Trust us. That's how we lost Bob in R&D. Buyer beware.
PRICE: $400 USD
Item # 4
The Cowboy Stache
When that little caterpillar fuzz won't do, you need to bring the big guns. It's time to roll Ron Jeremy style. Wear it well.
For rockin' some style. Cowboy Stache.
For keepin' it classy. Cowboy Stache.
What about...- "Cowboy Stache!"
Could you just...- "Sssshhhhh. Cowboy Stache."
For the ladies, too.
PRICE: $ 250 NSD
*Warning! Occasional Fu Manchu may develop.
Item # 5
Jerk Face
You don't need this. You already have one.
PRICE: See above statement.
Item # 6
Super Spleen Finger Force! (Complete DVD Series)
Follows the adventures of Tot, Chugs and Blendy as they fight crime and party. This travesty was the brainchild of Cyrus Silversmith, who brought the series to Television in the Blackhelm Confederacy in 2003. The series was loathed by Confederate audiences and was pulled after 6 episodes, with another 3 unaired.
It was deemed so horrible, that Government censors ordered all copies of the subsequent DVDs destroyed. Cyrus Silversmith torched a warehouse filled with crates of the DVDs, along with himself. However, it was rumored that a crate on a truck outside the warehouse survived the inferno... This was no rumor and we have possession of the whole crate! Obviously, supplies are limited, so order quick!
PRICE: $20 USD
* Limit 3 copies per customer
OPEN FOR BIDNIS!
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