Very good trade

[Hetrica]

Hello other regions of the world, i have a deal

I have a brand new coffee machine for your desk, it can set time, tps sugars, tps coffee, milk, froth, froth design
You want it?
Buy now for only 1000 dimes (my currency)

For help and questions comment below

*warning may explode if you put sunglasses on it or if you do not follow the instructions*

[New United States of Columbia]

No.

[Australian rePublic]

Hello, I wish to buy your machine

[Visegradian Poland]

Hello, I wish to buy your machine

me too

[Red Spoon]

Our Holiness would like to buy 1000 machines.

Thank you

[Ionicus]

--------------------------------------------------
TO: The People's Republic of Hetrica
FROM: Jonathon R. Mauz, Museum Director for Unionhead International Coffee Machine Exhibit
DATE: 20-FEB-2016
SUBJECT: RE: Very good trade
--------------------------------------------------
To whom it may concern,

Greetings! Allow me to introduce myself, I am Jonathon R. Mauz, the Museum Director for the Unionhead International Coffee Machine Exhibit. We are the largest coffee machine museum on Earth! We currently showcase 2,000 exhibits, from our fascinating "Coffee Machines of the Ancient World" exhibit to our interactive caffeine injection stations. We also have an archival collection of over 30,000 machines and thousands of technical documents relating to these coffee machines. Additionally, the museum frequently receives donations that fund our 30 man team to scour the globe, uncovering the long and mysterious history of coffee machines, the coffee process and to obtain books of Coffinology, the study of coffee.

Recently, our team of online experts (not to be confused with the expeditionary team) has found your coffee machine online being listed as "Very good trade". Though confused perhaps by the title, we later deduced that the machine was not for trade, but for sale, though in your nation's currency. The item you described is of a desktop design, a rarity in the world of coffee machines. Most were designed for counter top or floor usage. Of all our coffee machines we possess, only 7 are of desktop design. This alone makes your machine quite rare. However your listing goes more in depth. The design is described as being of "tps sugars, tps coffee". We can only assume that by "TPS" you mean thermionic pressure system, a modern evolution of the coffee making method used by the Ancient Athenians over 3,000 years ago. This is the only thermionic pressure system we have ever seen in a modern day coffee machine.

We also notice that your model comes with a clock. This, surely, is an unprecedented and innovative feature. Being able to see the current time as your coffee is being brewed would eliminate the clock feature of ovens and microwaves, thereby reducing their price and electrical consumption. This machine also appears to have a "froth design", which must refer to John J. Froth, the leader of the world's highest-end, jewel encrusted coffee machines. We believe the machine you possess is a one of a kind prototype, and therefore invaluable to not just the coffee machine world, but human culture and knowledge itself. The prototype theory is further reinforced when you mention a critical design flaw whereby sunglasses cause the unit to spew hot water and steam when placed upon it. This is most likely why the design was scraped.

You conclude your listing by asking, "You want it?". The answer is yes. Very much so.

Currently, we are willing to provide you with 24.6 million NSD, or the equivalent of that in your currency, the "dime". If you are referring to the U.S. currency, the dime, we can offer you either 1,000 of these or 2,460,00 dimes.

We can assure you your one of a kind machine will be kept in safe hands. Our permanent display will keep your machine under 3 inches of bulletproof glass, reinforced with carbonized steel. The interior of the vessel will be filled with an inert gas, humidity will be controlled, and the overhead lights will emit no UV radiation, to ensure that the coffee machine stay preserved for future generations to enjoy for hundreds of years.

We hope you'll consider our offer,


From the Desk of Jonathon R. Mauz, Museum Director for Unionhead International Coffee Machine Exhibit

[Hetrica]

press this button to order coffee machine
FREE COFFEE MUG WITH ONLINE PURCHASE

Thank you for your purchase

by pressing the button you accept the terms and conditions

[Kentukistan]

This Coffee "Machine" is a disgrace! Upon further inspection, Kentukistani Spy Agents Coffee Testers found out there is no "thermionic pressure system"/"TPS", but rather a Midget whos size varies by machine who pee's into coffee grounds through a filter and into the cup. We demand refunds as well as retribution for this unholy piss entering our Eternally Great Country!

Proof:

[Hetrica]

This Coffee "Machine" is a disgrace! Upon further inspection, Kentukistani Spy Agents Coffee Testers found out there is no "thermionic pressure system"/"TPS", but rather a Midget whos size varies by machine who pee's into coffee grounds through a filter and into the cup. We demand refunds as well as retribution for this unholy piss entering our Eternally Great Country!

Proof:

(Image)

This is not the coffee machine, i don't know where you got it but it wasn't from us. Because breached the clearly stated term no. 547 you must pay a fine of 500,000 dimes, if you do not pay conflict may ensue or world assembly will deal with this

(term no.547 stated that no midgets must be stated in diplomatic meetings, messages or anywhere on a forum.)

[Kentukistan]

This Coffee "Machine" is a disgrace! Upon further inspection, Kentukistani Spy Agents Coffee Testers found out there is no "thermionic pressure system"/"TPS", but rather a Midget whos size varies by machine who pee's into coffee grounds through a filter and into the cup. We demand refunds as well as retribution for this unholy piss entering our Eternally Great Country!

Proof:

(Image)

This is not the coffee machine, i don't know where you got it but it wasn't from us. Because breached the clearly stated term no. 547 you must pay a fine of 500,000 dimes, if you do not pay conflict may ensue or world assembly will deal with this

(term no.547 stated that no midgets must be stated in diplomatic meetings, messages or anywhere on a forum.)

No such fines will be recognized by Kentukistan. The coffee machine was powered by false claims and lies.

[Hetrica]

I regret this aggression but my forces have been mobilized on your border, pay the fine or things will get nasty.

I MEAN IT!
PAY UP!
DO IT!
NOW!
OK!
!!
!

[Kentukistan]

I regret this aggression but my forces have been mobilized on your border, pay the fine or things will get nasty.

I MEAN IT!
PAY UP!
DO IT!
NOW!
OK!
!!
!

We do not take kindly to threats against our country. You can take your fine and, kindly, shove it up your ass.

[Redsection]

I regret this aggression but my forces have been mobilized on your border, pay the fine or things will get nasty.

I MEAN IT!
PAY UP!
DO IT!
NOW!
OK!
!!
!

We do not take kindly to threats against our country. You can take your fine and, kindly, shove it up your ass.

Chill you gulag owner , the last thing you want is a bunch of Falangists on your back !!!

[Redsection]

Our glourious leader will take five machines .....

[Opeleope]

From the Opeleopan Bureau of Trade, Commerce, and Economics
Office of Makov Sdorgasky, Minister of Trade
To whom it may concern,
We would like to acquire the plans of this coffee machine with the intent of producing it at the state-owned Arim Heavy Industries conglomerate, known for producing most of Opeleope's weapons, military gear, commercial planes, mining equipment, and heavy-duty trucks. Do not enquire as to why a company that produces mining and military gear, trucks, and planes would want to produce a coffee maker.

[Hetrica]

Ok, the price is 100,000 dimes and involvement in any conlficts that arouse from these coffee machines

[Australian rePublic]

So there's only one machine?
First in first served. The machine is mine!
AT THE ORIGINAL PRICE. This is what the Australian law states and if you don't give it to us, there will be an international law suit

TO EVERYONE ELSE:
It's a second-hand coffee machine and there is only one. They are NOT manufacturing coffee machines

[Hetrica]

There is one machine, FOR NOW but the machine was advertised that is was put up for sale in the first box but it wasn't until later that it could actually bought, the coffee machine is going into a museum, and the blueprints have already bought. BUT, as you are from the best country on earth then you get the blueprints and 50,000 free coffee mugs (i have no idea why we made 50 thousand mugs when it is a mug per machine and there is only one machine)

[Kentukistan]

TO EVERYONE ELSE:
It's a second-hand coffee machine and there is only one. They are NOT manufacturing coffee machines

We have been saying this all along. We already determined that they used midgets instead of half-tree half-coffee plant mutants to pee into the cups , and now they are NOT MANUFACTURING NEW COFFEE MACHINES? ETERNAL LEADER IS NOT PLEASED BY THIS DEVELOPMENT!

[Australian rePublic]

There is one machine, FOR NOW but the machine was advertised that is was put up for sale in the first box but it wasn't until later that it could actually bought, the coffee machine is going into a museum, and the blueprints have already bought. BUT, as you are from the best country on earth then you get the blueprints and 50,000 free coffee mugs (i have no idea why we made 50 thousand mugs when it is a mug per machine and there is only one machine)

We will take you to an international court. The coffee machine is rightfully ours. We will take you to court and sue you

[New Ducklands]

This Coffee "Machine" is a disgrace! Upon further inspection, Kentukistani Spy Agents Coffee Testers found out there is no "thermionic pressure system"/"TPS", but rather a Midget whos size varies by machine who pee's into coffee grounds through a filter and into the cup. We demand refunds as well as retribution for this unholy piss entering our Eternally Great Country!

Proof:

(Image)

Just like he said, its a lie. Buy mine instead! Its actually reliable, dispences ice, water, tea, coffee, milk, suger, and espresso!

[New Ducklands]

New Ducklands officially bans this from them. And sues you 20,000 Euro's (20,000 Euro's = 35,689.58 Dimes). We support the Australian Republic here as well as Kentukistan!

[Hetrica]

The company that made this machine is closing down due to the suicide of the companys boss, nobody would take the company, so the company is closing down. All who bought this coffee machine will not get there money back and the prized coffee machine is going into a vault and the coffee mugs will have to do as a payment. divide 49,950 coffee mugs, and give them to each other. Sorry for all problems with this

[Ximea]

But it belongs in a museum!

[Hetrica]

The Hetrican coffee emporium/muesum owner has seen this request and commited suicide. The machine is a national artifact now so it can not go into any muesum but a hetrican muesum. Sorry for all issues regarding this