Sometimes you just need something to protect yourself with.
From: Pentagonal Armaments
To: The World
Subject: New Discounts
Hello future Comrades and Capitalist Internationals who don't want to be called Comrades, but we aren't sure what to call them, so there currently isn't a word here that is like Comrade, but for suitable for non-socialists.
To thank all of our past, present, and future customers, for your help providing jobs, along with additional state revenue used to fund defense, humanitarian causes, healthcare, education, child-care, rehabilitation of traumatized war-veterans, peacekeepers, and heroes, resettlement of war refugees and orphans, infrastructure, etc etc... We will be offering members of the Capitalist International, and/or members of various defense, humanitarian, or economic cooperation alliances/factions/confederations a 5% discount on our products for the next year. This is provided that your nation or organization passes a background check, and is the state or is allowed by the local state to obtain hardware that we sell.
Nations with an embassy with us over at CoHRE receive an additional 2.5 percent discount, and nations with serious trade relationships with CoHRE receive a further 2.5 percent discount. Members of CoHRE count both for the discount of having an embassy and being part of a humanitarian/peacekeeping organization.
Long live the Fighters, long live the Growers, long live the Workers, the Builders, and Learners. Peace and Serenity be to the Wounded, the Mourners, and the Survivors. Peace and Solitary to all Mankind.
May your offspring and years be as many as your heart desires, Pentagonal Armaments