Vollare looking for construction team...

[Vollare]

The Principality of Vollare


Greetings Nations of the world we are looking for a construction company to build us a Royal Palace, we will pay up to 5 billion Euros...
Here is a Form you need to complete:

Name of your nation:
Name of the Construction company:
Information about the palace(how many rooms, bathrooms, garage...):
Cost:
Photo of the Palace:


Thank you

[TurtleShroom]

Your Majesty, Prince of Vollare:


I would be delighted to assist you in constructing of your palace. We have a lot of turtles willing to pull their weight in building.

Name of your nation: Republic of TurtleShroom

Name of the Construction company: Pokey Building Enterprises
(Motto: Slow and study builds the greatests buildings!)

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Information about the palace (how many rooms, bathrooms, garage...):

Your palace will have three floors plus a secret attic and a basement.

The third floor is for you and your royal family and contains ten bedrooms. One for you, one for your spouse, one for your kids, and seven guest bedrooms easily convertable to other functions.


The second floor has the basic stuff like one large kitchen and a laundry room. It also has five hundred little-bitty offices for every Congressman.

The first floor has a small lobby. It will serve for the "commoners" who come in and file Issues. Your throne room is to the left of that. It takes up most of the third floor.



Your palace will have thirty nine bathrooms.

The bathrooms on the third floor are for monarchial usage, there are ten. Each one will have a tub/shower combo with shower curtains bearing your coat of arms (supplied by us). Each one will have a toilet and a sink, and the toilet in the bathroom next to the Prince/Head of State's bedroom will be styled to look like a throne. Two are in the halls.

On the second floor, your most senior Congressmen have adjacent bathrooms consisting of a toilet and sink. There are two of those. The rest of the bathrooms are spead out through the sprawling maze of halls that make up your other congressmen's office. There are twenty five of those.

There are two bathrooms in the first floor, each consisting of a toilet and a sink; there is one for the commoners in the lobby, and one for you and your... royal duties.
The bathroom for the throne room has a toilet stylized to look like a throne.

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You will have a seven car garage, or room for two limosenes.

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An adjacent building has one chamber for your Congress (seats eight hundred), a parking lot that fits nine hundred cars and seven school buses.

You will also have a bowling alley in the basement, and meeting hall next to that (for diplomatic reasons).


An additional four acres behind your palace will be open field. You can put as many trailers for additional congresmen as you like, OR you can add something like a tennis court or swimming pool, or another building at your own expense at a future date.


There will be four elevators connecting the three floors, and the appropriate number of staircases to get to and fro. An additional, fifth elevator will be provided for your private use and for the royal family.


There will also be an attic hidden from view where you can store your government secrets, private items, ect. etc. . Use your imagiantion for the attic. It's big enough for most anything you want to keep secret.

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Cost: There shouldn't be one. The Republic will let you keep your reward that was set aside for us. Use that for funding the Palace. We will also pay, with our money, for some things. The Republic will let you do so on the following conditions.

• You let us build a three-bedroom three bathroom condo/vacation home for the Chancellors to visit at the very back of the four acres, in a corner. It will be at our expense.
  
• You set aside one Congress office WITH A BATHROOM (see above) for a TurtleShroom diplomat with permanent residence. He will live in a little eleventh bedroom in the basement. Our expense. Mushrooms don't need much. Yes, our diplomat will be a mushroom. See our factbook.
  
• Excluding what is listed above, you must supply your own furniture for the palace. Obviously, all utilities, toilets, sinks, thrones, the bowling alley, and the desks for you congressmen are included (plus other things that common sense dictates to be on hand right away) at our expense.
  
• You must allow us to put a seventy foot tall, brazen column with a turtle and mushroom on top at the front of your legislature building. You must also allow us to fly OUR flag over your palace and over our condo. At our expense, of course. A flagpole with your flag will be put at the entrance of said palace and legislature.
  
• You can not serve or cook mushrooms at the palace at any time for any reason.

Oh, and one last thing... TURTLES will be building this, so it'll take about twenty years with raw TurtleShroom builders alone. We'll imburse you with a 5,000 skillet monthly payment to supply you and your government the neccessary furnishings until then, at our expense, and without expectations for a refund. If you wish to speed up construction, please help us by supplying your own builders to help the turtles. We will gladly pay their salaries for you.

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Pokey Eterprise employees may take a long time, but they ALWAYS get the jod done. Since turtles take so long, your building comes with insurace. Guarenteed not to be destroyed or we'll build it again at our expense! Pokey Enterprises buildings have survived floods, windstorms, an earthquake, tornadoes, and a riot of humans.

I myself have contracted them to build several public works for our nation. We subsidize them; they are the best in the business. Slow but reliable.

One problem: our roads are rather small. Our biggest highway is four lanes, most roads are two lanes. Most turtles and mushrooms use the Republic's sprawling railroad system. We usually take the train. Do you have railroads? If not, it'll be tough to transport the workers. We'd have to resort to our landlocked Navy's flying battleships. Yes, we have flying battleships. They're often mistaken for islands.



We hope you will enjoy our results.

Regards;
Chancellor Fungusamongus Lamepun, Head Mushroom of the Republic of TurtleShroom.