Pat's Spatulas: Global Spatula Emporium [Now Open!]

[Lexmark]

Your One-Stop Shop For Your Kitchen's Most Important Tool!

Welcome to Pat's Spatulas, the premier spatula emporium in Valle Crucis! Are you in need of a cooking utensil for your next big meal? Of course you are! Who could go without God's little helper in the kitchen? That's right, it's time to buy your very first premium-grade, elegantly crafted spatula, made right here in our clean and state-of-the-art warehouse! Rest easy, friends: your spatula hunt is now over!

Here at Pat's Spatulas, we carry every style of spatula that you could ever need! We specialize in spatulas for cookware, for kitchen accessorizing, and even bling! In the trenches in some Godforsaken war zone? Don't use your helmet to try and cook—take only the best, with our Grade-A Military Spatulas, guaranteed as both a cooking utensil and as a bludgeoning tool against insurgents. Need something to bake up that award-winning cake batter? Try our rubber line, guaranteed not to let anything slip past the astute master baker! We want to make sure that your spatula needs are covered, from the first-time bride trying to cook to the desperate father in danger of blowing up the city block! Pat's Spatulas will help you with all of your spatula needs, because at Pat's Spatulas, we know how to make a spatula.

Pat's Classic Cooking Spatula
►Current Price: $15.00 U.S.D.
Pat's Classic Metal Spatula
►Current Price: $25.00 U.S.D.
Pat's Baker's Delight Rubber Spatula
►Current Price: $35.00 U.S.D.
Bling-Bling Golden Cooking Spatula
►Current Price: $65.00 U.S.D.
Razzmatazz Series 24kt Gold Spatula Earrings
►Current Price: $250.00 U.S.D.
Pat's Heavenly Model Grilling Spatula
►Current Price: $300.00 U.S.D.
Grade-A Military Combat Spatula
►Current Price: $100.00 U.S.D.

Patty "Pat" Silvanus, the founder of Pat's Spatulas, has been dedicating her life to building the perfect spatula for more than fifty years. Starting in 1961, Pat's Spatulas have dominated the spatula market in Valle Crucis, and has made her a living legend in the spatula community. Pioneering the sleek metal U-GRILL Spatula in 1981 made her thousands in royalties alone from the numerous copies that sprang up after the fact. She currently lives in her flat in Valle Crucis with her six tabby cats and her beloved little goldfish, Cheeks.

[Nikolia]

Уједињена Православна Краљевина Николија
Краљевски Двор Петров

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Sender: Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace Petrov
Recipient: Pat's Spatulas
Subject: Supplyment request

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To whom it may concern,

Dear Pat's Spatulas, allow me to introduce myself, i am Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace of Petrovs, the home of Nikolian Royal family. I am writting you this letter in order to request one of your products our cooks are interested in. My order is as it follows:

• 20x Pat's Classic Cooking Spatula
• 20x Pat's Classic Metal Spatula
• 20x Pat's Baker's Delight Rubber Spatula
• 20x Pat's Heavenly Model Grilling Spatula

Be aware that your products will be subject of rigorous inspection of Royal Health & Higyene Inspection. Furthermore, i wish to inform you to send your products to: 152 Svetog Nikole bulevard, 11000 Beograd, Nikolia

Yours sincerely,

-Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace Petrov

[Reino do Brazil]

To. Pat's Spatulas
From. Cyntia Jordao, Minister of Defense of Reino do Brazil

The Armed Forces of Reino do Brazil would like to order from your Company 10.000 Grade-A Military Combat Spatula and a pair of Razzmatazz Series 24kt Gold Spatula Earrings.
Thank you for your kind attention.

Sincerely,
CJordao

[Woodstead]

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Sir/ Madam,

We could not help but notice that Pat's Spatulas, indeed, sells spatulas- what we believe to be a major staple in everyday life: restaurants, canteens in schools and prisons, home kitchens, and mad spatula-wielding men on the streets all can be found to possess the power of the spatula- even mightier than the spork.

Jokes aside, LoyaltyMe is interested in offering you a place on our scheme. LoyaltyMe offers its customers a card which can be swiped or electronically linked to online shopping accounts. For participants, every full NSDollar spent on your products would be exchanged for a rate (currently 15 points) which can be put on to a card. Now, when your customer purchases, say 500 points worth of spatulas, or other items from other participants, you can offer a reduction if the customer wishes to redeem a Pat's Spatula voucher (worth 500 pts.)...that might entitle them to a 10% discount on their next item, or whatever.

Market research at the Metropolitan University of Woldland's Business Faculty has suggested that LoyaltyMe works- especially for families waiting for the next bargain, or businesses buying in bulk. People who spend in LoyaltyMe-participating businesses, will get discounted in any other LoyaltyMe participating business.

We would be very interested in setting up a scheme with you. If you wish to participate, please respond with a coupon offer worth 500 points, and it will be promoted here.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Sincerely,
Evadne Platt
Director of Expansion, LoyaltyMe

[Lexmark]

(Image)
Уједињена Православна Краљевина Николија
Краљевски Двор Петров

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Sender: Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace Petrov
Recipient: Pat's Spatulas
Subject: Supplyment request

---

To whom it may concern,

Dear Pat's Spatulas, allow me to introduce myself, i am Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace of Petrovs, the home of Nikolian Royal family. I am writting you this letter in order to request one of your products our cooks are interested in. My order is as it follows:

• 20x Pat's Classic Cooking Spatula
• 20x Pat's Classic Metal Spatula
• 20x Pat's Baker's Delight Rubber Spatula
• 20x Pat's Heavenly Model Grilling Spatula

Be aware that your products will be subject of rigorous inspection of Royal Health & Higyene Inspection. Furthermore, i wish to inform you to send your products to: 152 Svetog Nikole bulevard, 11000 Beograd, Nikolia

Yours sincerely,

(Image)

-Jovana Duderić, Manager of Supplies for The Royal Palace Petrov

Your One-Stop Shop For Your Kitchen's Most Important Tool!

Why hello there from Pat's Spatulas! Your order will be processed immediately for a total price of $7,500.00 U.S.D. If my spatulas aren't the greatest kitchen utensil you've ever used, please let me know and we'll replace them at no additional cost to you!

— Pat's Spatulas Corporate Warehouse and Hair Care Centre

[Lexmark]

To. Pat's Spatulas
From. Cyntia Jordao, Minister of Defense of Reino do Brazil

The Armed Forces of Reino do Brazil would like to order from your Company 10.000 Grade-A Military Combat Spatula and a pair of Razzmatazz Series 24kt Gold Spatula Earrings.
Thank you for your kind attention.

Sincerely,
CJordao

Your One-Stop Shop For Your Kitchen's Most Important Tool!

Why hello there from Pat's Spatulas! Your order will be processed immediately for a total price of $1,000,250.00 U.S.D. If my spatulas aren't the greatest kitchen utensil you've ever used, please let me know and we'll replace them at no additional cost to you!

— Pat's Spatulas Corporate Warehouse and Hair Care Centre

[Nouvel Ecosse]

Attico's Drinkeries

108 Commitment Road
Endeavour
Nouvel Ecosse
Telephone: 27391027839
Website: www.AtticoDrink.ast

Dear Pat,

Recently at Attico's we conducted a survey of customers to find out what they thought could really add to their Attico's experience. What could we do that would improve their meal, their general experience. Typical results prospered: "Toilet Cleanliness", "Waiter friendliness", "Cheaper Booze", you know that type of stuff. But we allowed the use of an "Other" category.

Now, the internet works in mysterious ways, and well, we received 40,000 votes for "More use of Spatula", "More Spatula", even just the word "Spatula". Some online "Goblin" website, as I believe they are referred to (I don't normally keep up with the modern lingo), thought it was hilarious, and soon had it "trending" on social media sites.

Now, sadly, we can't ignore it, not only because it topped our survey by a large distance. It seems that the public is hungry for "Spatulas", and what they are hungry for we must deliver.

Hence, we would like to make the following application, although rather reluctantly:

x20,000 Pat's Classic Metal Spatula
x20,000 Pat's Classic Cooking Spatula

We look forward to receiving the delivery.

Yours,

Francesca Wallis
International Manager for Attico's Drinkeries

[Lexmark]

(Image)

Attico's Drinkeries

108 Commitment Road
Endeavour
Nouvel Ecosse
Telephone: 27391027839
Website: www.AtticoDrink.ast

Dear Pat,

Recently at Attico's we conducted a survey of customers to find out what they thought could really add to their Attico's experience. What could we do that would improve their meal, their general experience. Typical results prospered: "Toilet Cleanliness", "Waiter friendliness", "Cheaper Booze", you know that type of stuff. But we allowed the use of an "Other" category.

Now, the internet works in mysterious ways, and well, we received 40,000 votes for "More use of Spatula", "More Spatula", even just the word "Spatula". Some online "Goblin" website, as I believe they are referred to (I don't normally keep up with the modern lingo), thought it was hilarious, and soon had it "trending" on social media sites.

Now, sadly, we can't ignore it, not only because it topped our survey by a large distance. It seems that the public is hungry for "Spatulas", and what they are hungry for we must deliver.

Hence, we would like to make the following application, although rather reluctantly:

x20,000 Pat's Classic Metal Spatula
x20,000 Pat's Classic Cooking Spatula

We look forward to receiving the delivery.

Yours,

Francesca Wallis
International Manager for Attico's Drinkeries

Your One-Stop Shop For Your Kitchen's Most Important Tool!

Why hello there from Pat's Spatulas! Your order will be processed immediately for a total price of $800,000.00 U.S.D. If my spatulas aren't the greatest kitchen utensil you've ever used, please let me know and we'll replace them at no additional cost to you!

— Pat's Spatulas Corporate Warehouse and Hair Care Centre