FROM CHANCELLOR FUNGUSAMONGUS LAMEPUN
Greetings nations of the world! For those of you with relations with the Republic, you probably know that our army consists of pies, skillets, snapping turtles, a weenie missile, and pure fail.
What little we had of each branch of our armed forces came and demanded an expansive budget allowing them to fund themselves. We're talking eleven percent of the national budget! I myself had visitors from a Star Trek fan (some human show) and our air force (it turns out we have one, two biplanes with machine guns).
My co-Chancellor, Marvin Weirdidea, got representatives from the Navy, Army, a universal conscription guy, and a hippie. Now, I don't know if it was his aquatic instincts that did it, but my turtle friend gave the funds to the Navy. I wanted to fund the space program, but no! I mean, how do we expect to compete with space nations if all we have is a GPS and signal sending satillite made out of a toaster? Ah well, I'm having the last laugh. Poor Marvin forgot that we're a landlocked country.
We now have a huge Navy, the envy of the land of power, and few places to put it. there isn't an ocean for a long time. We have a desert in the north, lush forests in the center, and a swamp in the southwest. So, we have battleships in the swamps and admirals in lakes and ponds. Nice.
However, they don't call use hard working for nothing. Right now, we're collaborating with our neighbors to use these boats for new porportions! Can you say FLOATING BATTLESHIPS?! WHOO! It's like a battleship, but hovering a few inches off the ground, and it moves at a speed of 10.427714902807775 knots (12 MPH)!
Anyway, there lies the problem. We're not a warring nation, but we need to defend ourselves. Our only defense is our huge and powerful navy, which floats in swamps, ponds, and lakes, being completely landlocked. Since every military Skillet we had went to them, we need to get these battleships and destroyers on land or something, or we're a human lounging on a sofa holding a bottle of Coke. Vulnurable.
We will be taking proposals to help fund R&D of our levitating boats of awesomeness. We've sank it all, so whoever helps would be using their funds. In exchange for getting us defended, we will in turn ally with the funder, and guarentee two flying battleships to their military post-haste, and a third, fancier one, after five years.
We would be forever grateful to those who will assist us.
REGARDS,
CHANCELLOR FUNGUSAMONGUS LAMEPUN, HEAD MUSHROOM OF THE REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
P.S.: Here was what a human said our flying battleships would look like based on the Navy's schematics.
Only the ships will be produced, since we're funding our Navy.
