Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® [Fast Food]

[Radiatia]

Your Name: Harvey Edwin Webber
Nation: The Federal Republic of Pacificius
Previous Business Experience: Middle level Accountant at National Pacific Bank in San Francisco.
How much money will you be investing in the company? All of my life savings, ie. 140,000 NSD.
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 14 as a speculative investment, but a plan for an entire network of Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® Restaurants across all of Pacificius has been laid, coming to a total of 200 restaurants in the end.
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X] The Burgers
[ ] Your family (I have no immediate family still living, so this question has only one answer)

TO: Harvey Edwin Webber
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Pacificius.

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

Your Name: Minister Epsilon 7
Nation: Butoxi
Previous Business Experience: I am the head minister at the Ministry of Foods and Entertainment of Slaves currently.
How much money will you be investing in the company? $7,000,000 BTX (Roughly $4.5 MILL RAD)
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 4
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[ ] Your family
[x] Neither. I choose this as risking myself for either would possibly ruin any chance of possible profits. More burgers can be aged, and a family isn't needed.

TO: Minister Epsilon 7
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Butoxi.

Hot dang, you seem to be a thinkin' man! The Greasy Joe's family is always lookin' some people who can turn them brain things into thoughts and things!

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

Your Name: Ugga Lilliwell
Nation: The Aeronalan Tribal Federation
Previous Business Experience: Sell parts of hunting for huge profit. They give me bead for it, or they die of starving.
How much money will you be investing in the company? Five deer. Is worth many tsenyens!
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): One. It saves on hunting, yes?
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[X] Your family - If mould and burnt, cannot eat burgers. But can eat family burnt.

TO: Ugga Lilliwell
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in the ole' Aeronalan Tribal Federation.

Though I gotta say I am a little concerned that ye value yer family more than our delicious but aged burgers. We'll put ye on probation and see if we can't brainwash train ye up ter be a more suitable manager.

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[New Edom]

To: Cletus Agney, Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers
From: CEO and Board, 100% Pure Beef LTD

Dear Sir,

We really admire your company and have a proposal for you. We would like to become one of your suppliers. If you have a price for your supplies currently, we'll beat it. New Edom currently is one of the biggest areas of cheap but legal labour in the world, managed by expert factory supervisors and management, and we have a large source of meat patties available that will suit your needs very well. If this is suitable to you, then we will make sure to provide you with meat patties or meat loaves on a weekly basis, guaranteeing shipment at the lowest prices imaginable. We would be happy if you should become a regular supplier to cut our prices down to 30,000 NSD for 3 ton shipment. If this is satisfactory to you, looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
CEO and Board, 100% Pure Beef LTD.

[Libertatem Insulas]

Your Name: Joey Barnes
Nation: The Free Land of Libertatem Insulas
Previous Business Experience: Former Burger Town Manager
How much money will you be investing in the company? $800,000
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens):1 (small nation)
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ x] The Burgers

[CoolLand]

Drinks, You'll Want To Drink!


A subsidiary of The CoolBucks-CuppaCoffee Alliance.

C&C Cola is a world-leader in soft drinks, and other beverages. We manufacture dozens of products, offered in dozens of chains, and hundreds of countries. C&C Cola is a member of The CoolBucks-CuppaCoffee Alliance, an alliance between CoolBucks Coffee Co. the largest chain in the world, and CuppaCoffee plc, the second-largest cafe chain in the world.

C&C Cola provides quality, delicious products. C&C Cola products are the perfect accompaniment to your fine food products. This is why C&C Cola wants to work with you, and be an official supplier of Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers! We believe that our two companies would be perfect partners, and would be perfect to enter into a partnership together.

C&C Cola would like to be your exclusive supplier for soft drink products. Additionally, C&C Cola, on request can formulate an exclusive and new flavor for your fine company.

if you wish to have more information on my company, feel free to check our website, c&c.cbg/global

I, and my company hope that we can begin supplying your fine company, and that we can work together in the future.

All The Best,
C&C Co-CEO George Anderson

[Neo-Platinum]

Your Name: Gaz
Nation: Neo-Platinum
Previous Business Experience: Shareholder in many companies in Earth.
How much money will you be investing in the company? "Our" spare change picked up (5,450,000.95)
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 110
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[X] Your family (When the fire brigade gets to it, they might be just wet stale burgers)

Just make sure the dice circles are not mould but areosol and that all food items have tons of areosol and the stuff made for lighters

[Zokoria]

Your Name: Anders Mathiassen
Nation: The Norsefire Republic of Zokoria
Previous Business Experience: Was a counter person in a McDonalds restaurant near Starkeville; Later became a rich (but very religious) businessman who convinced Chick fil-A to set up a franchise in Zokoria, after it infamously opposed gay marriage months ago.
How much money will you be investing in the company? US$ 550,000,000
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 128
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X] The Burgers
[ ] Your family

[Radiatia]

To: Cletus Agney, Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers
From: CEO and Board, 100% Pure Beef LTD

Dear Sir,

We really admire your company and have a proposal for you. We would like to become one of your suppliers. If you have a price for your supplies currently, we'll beat it. New Edom currently is one of the biggest areas of cheap but legal labour in the world, managed by expert factory supervisors and management, and we have a large source of meat patties available that will suit your needs very well. If this is suitable to you, then we will make sure to provide you with meat patties or meat loaves on a weekly basis, guaranteeing shipment at the lowest prices imaginable. We would be happy if you should become a regular supplier to cut our prices down to 30,000 NSD for 3 ton shipment. If this is satisfactory to you, looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
CEO and Board, 100% Pure Beef LTD.

TO: CEO and Board, 100% Pure Beef LTD.
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We done did a read of them there squiggles that ya called a letter.

So let me get this dang thing straight - 100% pure beef contains no additives, chemicals or other mystery animals? What are ya, queer!?

It's the slight rancidity of our meat an' all them there additives that make Greasy Joe's so deliciously greasy!

Nevertheless, we done been impressed by yer pricing an' you've inspired Joe to make us a new recipe, complete with fresh pure beef.

In short, looks like you've got yourself a deal, partner.

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

*NEW*

New Edom 100% Pure Beef Burger

• To celebrate our new partnership with 100% Pure Beef, Ltd., we're releasing a range of Premium burgers containing fresh, New Edomite beef
• We've heard the demand for fresh, non-rancid meat and we will give you the freshest beef you've ever eaten!
• Just as New Edom is rich in culture and heritage, you'll need to be rich too, to afford this incredibly expensive premium range burger!

_{See? It's VERY fresh.}

[Radiatia]

Your Name: Joey Barnes
Nation: The Free Land of Libertatem Insulas
Previous Business Experience: Former Burger Town Manager
How much money will you be investing in the company? $800,000
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens):1 (small nation)
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ x] The Burgers

TO: Joey Barnes
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Libertatem Insulas.

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

[nation]Your Name: Anders Mathiassen
Nation: The Norsefire Republic of Zokoria
Previous Business Experience: Was a counter person in a McDonalds restaurant near Starkeville; Later became a rich (but very religious) businessman who convinced Chick fil-A to set up a franchise in Zokoria, after it infamously opposed gay marriage months ago.
How much money will you be investing in the company? US$ 550,000,000
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 128
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X] The Burgers
[ ] Your family[/nation]

TO: Anders Mathiassen
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Zokoria.

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Uelvan]

Your Name: Ralph Ralphson
Nation: Uelvan
Previous Business Experience: Drug Cartel Leader
How much money will you be investing in the company? 500 Million Tsenyens
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 625
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[ ] Your family
[X] Save the cash register

[Arrentine]

TO: Grease Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers
FROM: SuperStar Cruises
SUBJECT: Grease Joe's On Deck

We have been looking for companies willing to construct shops aboard all four of the ships of the upcoming SuperStar Fleet. Customers will pay for ALL FOOD while booking the cruise, a portion of the food fee will be sent to each company aboard, meaning passengers will be given the food on board for no extra cost.

Currently, an estimated $20 million pounds may be earned a year in food, your portion will be an estimated $5 million each year. If you have any concerns regarding these, please reply or telegram us immediately. Enclosed is the required application.

Your Name: Kyle Martin
Nation: Arrentine
Previous Business Experience: CuppaCoffees agreed previously
How much money will you be investing in the company? Estimated $5 Million Pounds/Year
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 4 (Aboard four vessels)
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X, duh] The Burgers
[ ] Your family

Sincerely,
Kyle Martin
CEO of SuperStar Cruises

[United Timelines Outpost Number 99999999]

Hello. We here at the United Timelines value excellent food regardless of the health risks. Thus, such a business that follows the same philosophy is bound to peak our interest.

Your Name: John-Jimmy-Joe-13, Minister of Agriculture and Food Engineering
Nation: United Timelines
Previous Business Experience: We are emerging from economic isolationism due to internal conflicts, so none.
How much money will you be investing in the company? Thirty-Two Million (32,000,000) Towelettes.
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): Forty (40), all located within Capital City.
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[x] Your family
The explanation is that while the burgers would be destroyed in the fire, their smell would spread, promoting investigation of the source. Once the cause of the delicious aroma has been identified, all involved will be compelled to eat at Greasy Joe's. Although I would live in shame for the rest of my life, shunned by my piers for selfishly and futilely attempting to preserve the genetic material of my forefathers, there would be more customers enjoying your burgers through the sacrifice of those lost to the flames. If this is not a sound business plan, then I shall make note to allow my family to be immolated for the negligent action of living in a burning building.

We will provide all food products. The risk of imported food becoming contaminated by a biological or nanotechnological virus from the wastelands is too great. If this is an issue, then I am afraid that business cannot continue officially. However, I will quickly begin a revolution to throw off the shackles of oppression and rectify this situation.
We hope to hear back from you soon.

[Marxist Equines]

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---

---

To Mr. Bendiks and/or the marketing team of Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers,

Sugarcube Corner Baking Company has noted your wide selection of culinary products sold by your company, "Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers". We think our two businesses would do quite well together. So, what we're proposing is a co-location deal: we open up shared franchises combining Sugarcube Corner sweets and Joe's Grease Burgers; after all, when you're loading up on grease and fat, what better way to top it off than a nice big bowl of ice cream or a delicious plate of pie or cobbler? Mmmm...

Anyway, we think that by working together, we can not only make lots of money, but also provide the first pairing of its kind in the culinary industry. However, we do have a couple things to note about how we operate:

• Sugarcube Corner's products are completely vegetarian, and therefore any Grease Burgers sold at our own franchises would be limited to vegetarian/vegan ingredients only. We understand that beef burgers are a major part of your own business, so we won't try to impose such a restriction on your own franchises carrying Sugarcube Corner products; this only applies to us.
• If we enter in this agreement, your company would, in effect, be a franchisee; thus, in order to use Sugarcube Corner's branding, we'd have to verify that shared locations are making our products to the exact specifications stated in our recipe books - and yes, that includes all the clauses about love and care. We'll, of course, be sure to put the same attention to detail in our cooking of your burgers - keeping in mind our vegetarian requirements, of course.

We look forward to hearing back from you. Our franchise application form is attached, in case it helps solidify our agreement. Likewise, we've also attached our own franchise application form if you're interested, though it's not required.

Thanks,


Mr. Carrot Cake
Co-Owner of Sugarcube Corner Baking Company

---

Your Name: Sugarcube Corner Baking Company
Nation: United Socialist States of Marxist Equines
Previous Business Experience: We are a business!
How much money will you be investing in the company? As much as it takes for this partnership to be successful for the both of us.
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): As many as you're willing to establish as part of this agreement.
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[X] Your family - by saving the family, the burgers are cooked in the process, which means that we can get right back to serving up your delicious burgers with no delay!

Code: Select all

[pre][size=300]Sugarcube Corner[/size]
[size=150]Retail Franchise Establishment Form[/size]

[b]Applicant name:[/b]
[b]Location of Sugarcube Corner franchise:[/b]
[b]Do you agree to follow all recipes [i]exactly[/i]? (Y/N):[/b]
[b]Do you agree to forward 25% of all revenue to Sugarcube Corner? (Y/N):[/b]

[b]Applicant signature:[/b]

________________________________

[b]Approving official:[/b]
[b]Approving signature:[/b]

________________________________[/pre]

[Resource Extraction Solutions Inc]

To: Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers

From: Resource Extraction Solutions Incorporated

We have been looking for ways to expand our company and dump dangerous radioactive waste at the same time! We would like it if you could create a new burger that containing the waste from our own nuclear reactors, the burger could be highly expensive as it is a glow in the dark burger. This also would reduce lighting costs and increase profits! We will pay you one NSD for every kilogram of radioactive waste you dump for us, to cover the cost of paying you we have decided to sell your burgers at our shopping centers. It is a win-win situation.

Your Name:William Teller
Nation:None
Previous Business Experience:CEO of R.E.S. Inc.
How much money will you be investing in the company?Thirty million NSD
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens):134
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[x ] The Burgers
[ ] Your family This already happened, except instead of burgers it was U-235.

[United Timelines Outpost Number 99999999]

You have yet to respond. Your timeliness is of utmost importance for this tran- OHSHI-*bludgeoning sounds* God-damn anonymous representatives. Howdy. My name is John-Jimmy-Joe the 13th, and I came here to kill this sonofabitch trying to make business decisions for me. Let me tell you a story.

When the first John Jimmy Joe founded John Jimmy Joe's Grease Spoon Cafe, he made a promise to the whole Omniverse: If these burgers aren't the finest burgers in all the United Timelines, he'll eat his hat. Sure enough, he couldn't catch up with the competition, and he died choking on his hat. Since then, every John Jimmy Joe after him tried to make the best burger in the Omniverse, and they all ate their hats, and they all died. Even John Jimmy Joe the Ninth, who made his hat out of cotton candy. Then I came along, and I did what every John Jimmy Joe should have done. I didn't wear a damn hat.

Now, I was running a damn good business when I was called in to be the Minister of Agricultural Engineering. I decided I couldn't let it fall into the wrong hands, so I closed John Jimmy Joe's Grease Spoon. Now there's a great hole in the colony, a hole that can only be filled by delicious, greasy burgers. That's where you come in. If you were to set up shop in the colony, then we could collaborate, I could show your boys a thing or two about burgers in the U.T. I suggest taking your time thinking about this, and don't worry about our ban on foreign meat due to our fear of contamination. I can pull a few strings to make it disappear.

[Kaznan]

Your Name: Joosep Alvar
Nation: Kaznan
Previous Business Experience: He's been said to have been arrested for one of the biggest corporate scams known to Kaznan!
How much money will you be investing in the company? 3.2M Kaznanian Credits
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): Two, for now...
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[x] The Burgers
[ ] Your family

Hello, this is Joosep Alvar here, and I just cracked open a large helping of pre-war meat! So I will be able to manage selling every product on the menu, however cannibalism is not practised in Kaznan so the vegetarian burger is off the menu! I hope Greasy Joe's takes me to the top!

Thank you,
Joosep Alvar

[Reino do Brazil]

Your Name: Jael Sousa
Nation: Kingdom of Brazil
Previous Business Experience: Absolutely none
How much money will you be investing in the company? NSD 1000.000.00
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): the ones enough for the money, not sure
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X ] The Burgers obviously
[ ] Your family

In Brasil we are also prime beef producers; so if you may need us we will be happy of doing business if not thats ok just the same.

[Radiatia]

Your Name: Ralph Ralphson
Nation: Uelvan
Previous Business Experience: Drug Cartel Leader
How much money will you be investing in the company? 500 Million Tsenyens
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 625
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[ ] Your family
[X] Save the cash register

[OOC: Sorry for slow response. See my sig.]

TO: Ralph Ralphson
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Uelvan.

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

An' when you done talked of savin' the cash register, well, I nearly spit. That's the kind of innovative thinkin' that made us a world leader in the fast food industry! I'm sure y'all will go far!

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

(Image)
TO: Grease Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers
FROM: SuperStar Cruises
SUBJECT: Grease Joe's On Deck

We have been looking for companies willing to construct shops aboard all four of the ships of the upcoming SuperStar Fleet. Customers will pay for ALL FOOD while booking the cruise, a portion of the food fee will be sent to each company aboard, meaning passengers will be given the food on board for no extra cost.

Currently, an estimated $20 million pounds may be earned a year in food, your portion will be an estimated $5 million each year. If you have any concerns regarding these, please reply or telegram us immediately. Enclosed is the required application.

Your Name: Kyle Martin
Nation: Arrentine
Previous Business Experience: CuppaCoffees agreed previously
How much money will you be investing in the company? Estimated $5 Million Pounds/Year
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): 4 (Aboard four vessels)
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[X, duh] The Burgers
[ ] Your family

Sincerely,
Kyle Martin
CEO of SuperStar Cruises

[OOC: Sorry for the delay, see my sig.]

TO: Kyle Martin
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in ole' Arrentine, an' on a boat as well! We're all very excited about that there prospect. Greasy Joe's aims to be available anywhere, at any time, even for people on boats!

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

Hello. We here at the United Timelines value excellent food regardless of the health risks. Thus, such a business that follows the same philosophy is bound to peak our interest.
Your Name: John-Jimmy-Joe-13, Minister of Agriculture and Food Engineering
Nation: United Timelines
Previous Business Experience: We are emerging from economic isolationism due to internal conflicts, so none.
How much money will you be investing in the company? Thirty-Two Million (32,000,000) Towelettes.
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens): Forty (40), all located within Capital City.
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[ ] The Burgers
[x] Your family
The explanation is that while the burgers would be destroyed in the fire, their smell would spread, promoting investigation of the source. Once the cause of the delicious aroma has been identified, all involved will be compelled to eat at Greasy Joe's. Although I would live in shame for the rest of my life, shunned by my piers for selfishly and futilely attempting to preserve the genetic material of my forefathers, there would be more customers enjoying your burgers through the sacrifice of those lost to the flames. If this is not a sound business plan, then I shall make note to allow my family to be immolated for the negligent action of living in a burning building.
We will provide all food products. The risk of imported food becoming contaminated by a biological or nanotechnological virus from the wastelands is too great. If this is an issue, then I am afraid that business cannot continue officially. However, I will quickly begin a revolution to throw off the shackles of oppression and rectify this situation.
We hope to hear back from you soon.

[OOC: Sorry for the delay, see my sig.]

TO: John-Jimmy-Joe-13, Minister of Agriculture and Food Engineering
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down in the ole' United Timelines!

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

To: Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers

From: Resource Extraction Solutions Incorporated

We have been looking for ways to expand our company and dump dangerous radioactive waste at the same time! We would like it if you could create a new burger that containing the waste from our own nuclear reactors, the burger could be highly expensive as it is a glow in the dark burger. This also would reduce lighting costs and increase profits! We will pay you one NSD for every kilogram of radioactive waste you dump for us, to cover the cost of paying you we have decided to sell your burgers at our shopping centers. It is a win-win situation.

Your Name:William Teller
Nation:None
Previous Business Experience:CEO of R.E.S. Inc.
How much money will you be investing in the company?Thirty million NSD
Number of branches you wish to establish (each branch costs at least 800,000 Tsenyens):134
If your family was trapped in a burning building, while a pile of slightly mouldy Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers® were stored in another burning building, and you could only save one, which would it be? (Select One):
[x ] The Burgers
[ ] Your family This already happened, except instead of burgers it was U-235.

[OOC: Sorry for the delay, see my sig.]

TO: William Teller
FROM: Cletus Agney, Franchise Liason Manager

---

Howdy,

We're glad to see you're interested in opening a franchise down with the ole' Resource Extraction Solutions!

Greasy Joe's Extra Greasy Grease Burgers in the best dang rootin' tootin' little old fast food restaurant this side of the Great Radiatian Desert. You're on to a good thing by opening one of our branches, I can tell you.

Well, we'll be sure to send you on our "Spit and Polish" programme, where we'll be teaching ya the secret tricks that make this business better than any other, and then after that you're investment will be sure to translate into profits for us.

And also, if you're lucky, you might see some of the profits too.

Well I wish you all the best, you're on to a good thing and I look forward to leeching off working with ya!

Best wishes,
Cletus Agney
Franchise Liason Manager

2012 Joseph Bendiks Drive
Meganorf, SKORPTSCH
Radiatian Federation

[Radiatia]

You have yet to respond. Your timeliness is of utmost importance for this tran- OHSHI-*bludgeoning sounds* God-damn anonymous representatives. Howdy. My name is John-Jimmy-Joe the 13th, and I came here to kill this sonofabitch trying to make business decisions for me. Let me tell you a story.

When the first John Jimmy Joe founded John Jimmy Joe's Grease Spoon Cafe, he made a promise to the whole Omniverse: If these burgers aren't the finest burgers in all the United Timelines, he'll eat his hat. Sure enough, he couldn't catch up with the competition, and he died choking on his hat. Since then, every John Jimmy Joe after him tried to make the best burger in the Omniverse, and they all ate their hats, and they all died. Even John Jimmy Joe the Ninth, who made his hat out of cotton candy. Then I came along, and I did what every John Jimmy Joe should have done. I didn't wear a damn hat.

Now, I was running a damn good business when I was called in to be the Minister of Agricultural Engineering. I decided I couldn't let it fall into the wrong hands, so I closed John Jimmy Joe's Grease Spoon. Now there's a great hole in the colony, a hole that can only be filled by delicious, greasy burgers. That's where you come in. If you were to set up shop in the colony, then we could collaborate, I could show your boys a thing or two about burgers in the U.T. I suggest taking your time thinking about this, and don't worry about our ban on foreign meat due to our fear of contamination. I can pull a few strings to make it disappear.

[OOC: Please don't spam. I am busy in real life.]