The Zombinator 2000(DX), the ultimate anti-zombie weapon!

[Aperture Science]

It is the stance of Aperture Science that any zombie outbreak is not the fault of Aperture Science or any of its subsidiaries. As all Aperture Science Aperture Science Zombie Immobilization Units are equipped with multiple failsafes, and are perfectly safe. Further, all Aperture Science Aperture Science Zombie Holding Pens are completely impregnable to any form zombie assault. Aperture Science accepts no responsibility for any zombie outbreak and will not issue remuneration or compensation of any kind. That is all.

If you are in a zone threatened by the zombie outbreak, do not be dismayed! Aperture Science is pleased to offer to you the latest in anti-zombie technology.

While long heralded as the ultimate anti-zombie weapon, Aperture Science technicians have found that the chainsaw is both unnecessarily messy and offers a great risk of infection, as well as frequently jamming with partially minced zombie flesh. This is naturally undesirable in a situation where the utmost caution and discretion is required to avoid becoming a zombie oneself. Indeed, most melee weapons have significant risks, generally involving putting one within biting distance of those nasty, unwashed teeth.

While the standard shotgun offers a solution, it is not the ideal weapon. Therefore, Aperture Science has adopted the standard shotgun design base and modified it into a suitable anti-zombie weapon. Aperture Science is proud to present, the Zombinator 2000(DX), the ultimate anti-zombie weapon.

Featuring a 20 round drum magazine, the Zombinator 2000(DX) features single shot and burst settings for crowded situations. It's short barrel is ideal for close situations, such as sneaking through manor houses, sewers and abandoned farms. The under barrel lug is suitable for mounting flashlights as well as bayonets.

With it's 10 gauge barrel the Zombinator 2000(DX) is guaranteed to 'put the hurt on' anything in front of it, no matter what ammunition is used!

For now and now only, each order of the Zombinator 2000(DX) comes with 100 rounds of 'Zom-BE-Gone' 10 gauge incendiary buckshot ammunition. Each pellet of our specially designed round is coated in magnesium, which aids in immediate destruction of the zombie brain matter, vitally important in ensuring the final destruction of any walking corpses.

Order your Zombinator 2000(DX) for a mere USD2,500.

All zombie disposal operations should be carried out by trained professionals. The Aperture Science Department of Zombie Affairs accepts no responsibility for injury or zombification as a result of the use or attempted use of this weapon. Aperture Science makes no warranty or guarantee as to the effectiveness of physical weapons of any kind (including the Zombinator 2000(DX)) against zombies. By purchasing the Zombinator 2000(DX) you are agreeing that, should you be zombified at any time, your living corpse becomes the property of the Aperture Science Zombie Research facility.

[Free Commonalities]

From: Neem Ralk, Strategos

We wish to purchase 1,000 of these shotguns for our police departments for $2,500,000.

[Carbarosia]

Why would you need this weapon when you have such care in doing things?

But just incase we would like to purhase 1,000 for test runs.The $2,500,000 Million is being wired.

[Gimmadonis]

These weapons have become very popular over here, especially with local militias.

Gimmadonis will place an order of 15,000 weapons, for $37,500,000.

[Aperture Science]

Those who ordered the Zombinator 2000(DX), Greetings,

We are happy to confirm that your orders have shipped on receipt of your payment. It is suggested that you deploy the Zombinator 2000(DX) in high-risk areas, such as farmhouses, sewers and small towns. Ideally it should be secured inside a nondescript cabinet which can be conveniently discovered by the only person who will survive the zombie outbreak. If this is not possible, it can also be left in the hands of a completely incompetent local police officer who will be killed in the first five minutes of the outbreak, this may backfire, however, should the zombies gain the intelligence to operate weapons.

Your orders are appreciated and all money received from sales of the Zombinator 2000(DX) go directly to the Aperture Science Department of Anti-Zombie Technology and Research, furthering it's goal of a zombie-free world.

Have a nice day!

Sales-Bot (TM) Mk II, Aperture Science Sales Division

[Belkaland]

I must protect the title of the Ultimate Anti-Zombie Weapon for this barbaric weapon, that title belongs to the biological weapon that defends any good nation, Genetically Engineered flies & maggots that feast on Zombie Flesh and only Zombie Flesh, 1 swarm of them can devour 100 Zombies in 10 minutes.