Substandard Equipment Corporation
Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:07 am
Being Breotania's premier private industrial corporation, SEC wishes to make its goods available to the international eye!
Is money pressing you? Quality getting you down? Need a lot of something quick? Let our children make it for you!
Military Equipment
So awful, not even our military uses them!
SECG-25 Submachine Gun
This gun will only set you back $25.00. No standard cartridges fit this monster, and you'll be hard pressed to find a cartridge made for it that fits! This air cooled beast will jam with the slightest humidity in the air! Fool your friends! Laugh at your enemies as they pick up the failures that are your troops' rifles, and fail to fire a single shot as the barrel just falls off.
SECG-49 Revolver
So cheap, it hurts! This $15.00 revolver accepts only a blend of .44 calibre minnie balls and gunpowder. Tired of having a revolver that turns to the next chamber for you? Turn it yourself!
Transport Equipment
Have your mechanics work twice as hard for equal problems!
SECE-9432 Turbofan Engine
Guaranteed by government testing to almost always spontaneously explode mid flight, it's rated as one of the most fuel-efficient and green engines in all of Breotania! Only $500.00 for this monster and you can get rid of those pesky leftie politicians as they sit in transit!
SECL-39427 Locomotive
Steam has never looked this attractive! For $800.00 this locomotive, built only 4 cm too wide to for standard tracks, makes the perfect April fools' day gift for the third world dictator. It can't pull as much as a diesel locomotive, nor is it as fast, but it can do it with style with its manual stoking action! Your engineers will never work this hard to get an external combustion engine working!
SECV-1 Nuclear Powered Vehicle
New! From the makers of the wildly successful nuclear power plants all over Breotania, comes a vehicle that powers itself on the future for only $160.00! Requiring constant maintenence to prevent it from spontaneously melting down and causing a small nuclear incident in your garage, this car is perfect for the tinkerer inside all of us. Strong aluminum body design shields radiation so you don't have to.
General Products
We're so intense in our business negotiations that we cut the middle man in half!
Rations-in-a-can
These rations last longer than their expiration date, they taste like rubber, but they'll get you through anything! Produced from native livestock entrails, a ration-in-a-can can feed most soldiers for a week for only $1.00
WARNING: May cause red tide poisoning
SEC-47 Victory Cigarettes
Victory Cigarettes are the proud cigarettes of the Breotanian Army. Made with more tar than tobbacco leaves, they're highly addictive, radically cheap, and are so awesome they don't need to follow corporate tax laws! Have your troops smoke a pack full of Victory cancer sticks today! $.50 a pack
Custom Substandard Equipment
Need something, but it isn't listed in our catalog? Get a quote today! We will build it at half the price of our competitors!
We will double our production speed just to get your custom order in!
