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Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation [OLD]

A meeting place where national storefronts can tout their wares and discuss trade. [In character]
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Spartan Philidelphia
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Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation [OLD]

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:49 am

Image
A Friendly Welcome from the Highly Creative Folks at SPAAC
Also, a note: Don't use this one! It's old. We have a new one.

Founded by Luigi Mario, the Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation started out as a small chain of restaurants selling cheesesteaks.The company expanded slowly until its R&D department made an amazing leap forward on the road to understanding genetics. They created the delicious Cheese Cow, a cow whose beef is quite cheesey. Eventually, it was the largest producer of beef and cheese products in Spartan Philidelphia, and it was the 2nd largest chain restaurant as well. Soon, its founder, Luigi Mario, was able to expand the range of products to virtually almost anything. These days, SPAAC is one of the largest employers in Spartan Philidelphia and now sells a range of products over the entire world.

Hopefully, you remember our company's name, the Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation. Did you notice the "Almost Anything?" We cannot sell everything and one noticeable group of unsellable objects are things with the letter W in their name. This is due to technical difficulties and such. We cannot even sell the precious Cheese Cow. (Previously, we were able to overcome the barriers thanks to science, but as we all know, science is bad. We angered the wraith of some deity and now we are once again unable to sell it.)

So that's all... start buying. Also, since you seem so curious, there is no plan to replace [insert your nation's name here] with

[Updated paragraphs of information are loading on to the screen. This may take weeks or even months. Until then, enjoy this letter written to people who think they're being clever by not following thefucking rules.]

SPAAC wrote:
NOOB wrote:"i ordur w. llolozl"

So stealthy, so cunning. Silly noob!


From the Desk of Luigi Mario,
Founder, and Co-CEO of SPAAC,

Coincidentally, is also the Supreme Leader of Spartan Philidelphia


The Gold $tuff Di$count $ection
The gold color i$ $o that it'll be harder to read!
We will be abu$ing the dollar $ign if you did not notice yet.


5% DI$COUNT GET! for all of tho$e who take the time to use correct grammar and punctuation. Hurray!
If I $ay how I like your idea, you automatically get 1% di$count for all purcha$e$. Hurray!
If you merely a$k for a 1-2% di$count, you will receive it. Hurray!
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:00 pm, edited 38 times in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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SOME ARE MARY

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:50 am

Base lick Lee.

You what N duff wout dubya?

Eyes Ave Zuff We Out Duh-be-ya.

Why are me mom-ney. Eves and Butter! Donut Wah eye err me mummies!

If you didn't understand the last one... When you do not wire me money, I penalty you, and get more money then what I would've originally gotten. Then all are happy.
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:22 am, edited 15 times in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Spartan Philidelphia
Minister
 
Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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The Society Stealing Your Freedoms with More Rules

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:52 am

Rules of the Shop
  1. Can't sell you things with the letter W in their name.
      Explanation for the layperson (in layperson's terms, those who failed in reading comprehension):
      Apparently, Some don't understand this rule in the least. I have added this spoiler to explain it to them. NO W's. Which means selling the "Milky Way Galaxy" is off-limits, but nevertheless, you can always go for the next best thing and merely buy "the Galaxy that the planet Earth is located in." Any alternative names to the object you request do not matter as long as the name used has no W's.
  2. Don't be stupid.
    1. See Gold $tuff Penalty $ection 1
  3. Use Grammar. (Occasional mess-ups are forgiven.)
    1. See Gold $tuff Penalty $ection 2
  4. Follow the Rules.
  5. Follow the Rules.
  6. Follow the Rules.
  7. Follow the Rules.
    1. See Gold $tuff Penalty Section 3

    Gold $tuff Penalty $ection
    We will be abu$ing the dollar $ign a$ well.
    $ection 1 - Rule 1: Object reque$ted will not be $old.
    $ection 2 - Rule 2-3: Lower quality of reque$ted item($) Po$$ible banning, 200% penalty fee$.
    $ection 3 - Rule$ 4-7: 1000% Penalty (each)
    $ection 4 - Do not order thing$ that are fucking retarded extremely $tupid.
    $ection 5 - Follow the rule$.
    $ection 6 - Bribe me. (Hopefully, your attempt will be very chee$ey.)
    $ection 7 - Attempting to Undermine the $y$tem?
    $ection 7 - Part Aa: Any attempt$ to undermine the fortified $y$tem $hall be eliminated.
    $ection 7 - Part Ab: Any attempt$ to undermine the fortified $y$tem $hall fail.
    $ection 7 - Part Ac: All attempt$ to undermine the fortified $y$tem $hall not $ucceed.
    Section 7 - Part Ad: All attempt$ to undermine the fortified $y$tem is ungood.


    Recommendations of the Shop
    These are not real rules, but recommendations to make your stay here wonderful!
    1. Try to be as vague as possible, this will help improve the quality of the product
    2. Good Humor/Humour might help as well
    3. Follow the Rules
    4. There are hidden rules. You'll find them in these posts right here. LOOK FOR THEM NOW OR FACE THE PENALTIES!
    5. Eat healthy foods!
    6. BUY GRIFFINCREST! THEY'RE THE BEST!
    7. Join us in worshipping the Flying Spaghetti Monster
        May ye all be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
          The previous was brought to you by Mosey Rotini, the Captain of All Pirates in Spartan Philidelphia
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Wed May 12, 2010 12:39 pm, edited 29 times in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Spartan Philidelphia
Minister
 
Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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More Things

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:55 am

Favorite Things We've Ever Sold!
Items that don't remind me of pointless spam.

Cheese [Animals] - Tastiness. Now you don't have to add the cheese separately!
Cheese Berries - Cheese in the shape of berries grown from a plant. The outer layers protect the cheesey inner parts very well.
Hrape Berries - Berries that are a little larger than a grape, and don't grow in bunches. Each plant carries approximately 45 berries and it flowers once every year. There have been cases where the berries/flower(s) look vaguely like famous people and icons.

Things We Won't Sell
Imagination is good, but don't be stupid is Rule #2 right after "No Ws"

  1. Objects in which include the letter W in their name.
  2. No more stupid items.
  3. Nothing Ultra-Powerful...
  4. Weapons development department has been cut to a minimum, so try and avoid weapons.
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Mon Mar 01, 2010 1:51 pm, edited 10 times in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Justorica
Minister
 
Posts: 3173
Founded: Apr 20, 2009
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Re: The SPAAC Storefront

Postby Justorica » Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:53 pm

I would like one giant flying tank that is built to look like Rosie O'Donnell and Obama are having sex. I would like a blimp that looks the same too. I would also like a copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: The SPAAC Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:51 pm

I would like one giant flying tank that is built to look like Rosie O'Donnell and Obama are having sex. I would like a blimp that looks the same too. I would also like a copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Sold a flying tank that looks like Rosie O'Donnell and Obama are in the Act of Commerce and the exact same thing except in the form of a blimp

Its not a very good tank, and it only looks vaguely like what you described; however, its the best we could do right now. Same thing for the blimp

Sold the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Of course, only the fictional book, and not the real Guide. We only have one copy of that., the real guide doesn't exist, and is too complex for us to make.
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Justorica
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Posts: 3173
Founded: Apr 20, 2009
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Re: The SPAAC Storefront

Postby Justorica » Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:40 pm

I would like a white wrench that changes color when wateris poured on it, and then I want two white woman wombats that know how to walk and eat wheat.

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: The SPAAC Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:29 am

Justorica wrote:I would like a white wrench that changes color when wateris poured on it, and then I want two white woman wombats that know how to walk and eat wheat.


Was that supposed to be a joke?
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Justorica
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Posts: 3173
Founded: Apr 20, 2009
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Re: The SPAAC Storefront

Postby Justorica » Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:40 am

I did it on your other SPAAC storefront before, why not break in the new one?

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Spartan Philidelphia
Minister
 
Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:54 pm

People whine about me closing about me closing the shop for a couple renovations, and then they don't buy anything. What's the deal with that?
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Sorgan
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Posts: 3560
Founded: Jun 11, 2009
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Sorgan » Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:29 pm

TO: Spartan Philadelphia.
FROM: The Universal Union ((OOC: A corporation Within Sorgan)
SUB:Iron Casting

We would like a Iron casted statue of a strong man wearing a toga holding a scale in on hand and a Parthenon style building. Please make sure that this is Greek style art.



Thank you.

Sincerly, The Board of The Universal Union Healthcare,Auto Insurance,And much more.

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:22 am

Sorgan wrote:TO: Spartan Philadelphia.
FROM: The Universal Union ((OOC: A corporation Within Sorgan)
SUB:Iron Casting

We would like a Iron casted statue of a strong man wearing a toga holding a scale in on hand and a Parthenon style building. Please make sure that this is Greek style art.



Thank you.

Sincerly, The Board of The Universal Union Healthcare,Auto Insurance,And much more.


Sold that stuff

As a bonus, we will put a Greek-styled marble monkey statue right next the strong man.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Turkish Federation
Diplomat
 
Posts: 594
Founded: Dec 20, 2006
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Turkish Federation » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:28 am

Hurray! Your new storefront is open!

We would like to buy your storefront for any cost.
The Turkish Federation
Factbook - Embassy thread - NSTracker

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:40 am

Turkish Federation wrote:Hurray! Your new storefront is open!

We would like to buy your storefront for any cost.


Just sign this here contract:

I, [insert name here] will pay 1,000,000,000infinityGold Stuff in order to buy SPAAC. We pledge that if we cannot sufficiently pay the for the company, we will pay the rest of it in nationally-owned stuff. If we cannot pay for the company in full by the end of 1 minute, SPAAC will be repossesed by Spartan Philidelphia. We will allow SPAAC to keep anything we've payed to them. The rest of the debt will be relinquished.

Signed:
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Sarrowquand
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Posts: 499
Founded: Oct 06, 2004
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Sarrowquand » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:01 am

The Grey Bureaucracy is interested in purchasing a 1:1 scale map of Sarrowquand, we would like a map of the world but recognise that despite the size it would probably be lost on delivery. Please include all details including buildings, wildlife and people. Also we will probably need the map to record its own location in Sarrowquand for maximum accuracy.

Grey (545,000) Director of the Bureau of Cartography
Katganistan wrote:Purpure argent bend
Sinister, with arms of gules
Y displayed in Or

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:09 am

Sarrowquand wrote:The Grey Bureaucracy is interested in purchasing a 1:1 scale map of Sarrowquand, we would like a map of the world but recognise that despite the size it would probably be lost on delivery. Please include all details including buildings, wildlife and people. Also we will probably need the map to record its own location in Sarrowquand for maximum accuracy.

Grey (545,000) Director of the Bureau of Cartography


We are sorry for the inconvenience, but we could not understand what you are asking for. Please try again!
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Mandolore the Enraged
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Posts: 385
Founded: Jul 08, 2009
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Mandolore the Enraged » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:14 am

I need impenetrable dalek soldiers

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:22 am

Mandolore the Enraged wrote:I need impenetrable dalek soldiers


Sold 2 Dalek Soldiers

Equipped with impenetrable armor, although they can only function in temperatures between 69-75 Fahrenheit, and they have trouble using stairs. Their systems also seem to get a blue screen of death whenever they hit a solid/liquid surface at a speed of 10 mph (16.09 km/hr).
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Turkish Federation
Diplomat
 
Posts: 594
Founded: Dec 20, 2006
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Turkish Federation » Sun Aug 09, 2009 12:30 pm

Spartan Philidelphia wrote:
Turkish Federation wrote:Hurray! Your new storefront is open!

We would like to buy your storefront for any cost.


Just sign this here contract:

I, The Republic of the Turkish Federation will pay 100,000,000,000infinityGold Stuff in order to buy SPAAC. We pledge that if we cannot sufficiently pay the for the company, we will pay the rest of it in nationally-owned stuff. If we cannot pay for the company in full by the end of 1 minute, SPAAC will be repossesed by Spartan Philidelphia. We will allow SPAAC to keep anything we've payed to them. The rest of the debt will be relinquished.

Signed: The Turkish Federation
The Turkish Federation
Factbook - Embassy thread - NSTracker

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Spartan Philidelphia
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Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:25 pm

Contract Accepted

The Turkish Federation still owes: Infinity Gold Stuff
If you cannot pay us in a time span of 1 minute day, we will have to take SPAAC back. Also, we are sending over some people to discuss the land we will be taking from you. (We will be nice and extend the time of which you need to pay) The Turkish Federation now owns SPAAC and will take care of all deals and orders. for the next day.

Code: Select all
[quote="Turkish Federation"]I, The Republic of the Turkish Federation will pay 100,000,000,000[size=1]infinity[/size]Gold Stuff in order to buy SPAAC. We pledge that if we cannot sufficiently pay the for the company, we will pay the rest of it in nationally-owned stuff. If we cannot pay for the company in full by the end of 1 [strike]minute[/strike], SPAAC will be repossesed by Spartan Philidelphia. We will allow SPAAC to keep anything we've payed to them. The rest of the debt will be relinquished.

Signed: The Turkish Federation[/quote]
Last edited by Spartan Philidelphia on Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

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Wutaco
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Posts: 453
Founded: Jul 08, 2009
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Wutaco » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:30 pm

We need a nuclear missle.
Last edited by Wutaco on Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You keep sending them, I'll keep knocking them down!

In response to a thread involing bringing back a Neandrathal:
Lackadaisical2 wrote:We should make one, then fuck it to see if we can interbreed.

More Quotes:
SexocraticLands wrote:I hope the fan kills the cat. And then the fan should kill Miley Cyrus.


Perhaps the fan could rig her jet so it crashes into the Jonas Brother's tour bus?


JuNii wrote:
The Norse Hordes wrote:Fuck PETA. Fuck Glenn Beck.

Ewww... do I reallly have to?

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Spartan Philidelphia
Minister
 
Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:38 pm

Wutaco wrote:We need a nuclear missle.


We are sorry, but there is no such thing as a nuclear missle.
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

User avatar
Wutaco
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 453
Founded: Jul 08, 2009
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Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Wutaco » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:11 pm

Nuclear Bomb than.
You keep sending them, I'll keep knocking them down!

In response to a thread involing bringing back a Neandrathal:
Lackadaisical2 wrote:We should make one, then fuck it to see if we can interbreed.

More Quotes:
SexocraticLands wrote:I hope the fan kills the cat. And then the fan should kill Miley Cyrus.


Perhaps the fan could rig her jet so it crashes into the Jonas Brother's tour bus?


JuNii wrote:
The Norse Hordes wrote:Fuck PETA. Fuck Glenn Beck.

Ewww... do I reallly have to?

User avatar
Spartan Philidelphia
Minister
 
Posts: 2222
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
Ex-Nation

Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Spartan Philidelphia » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:14 pm

Sold a Nuclear Bomb

Modelled after one of the first nuclear bombs! (Picture is Actual Size(It might be a little smaller))

Image
Spartan Philidelphia
Region: Sparta
[Defunct] National Corporation:
The Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation
Leader: Luigi Mario
National Religion: Pastafarianism
Population: 50,420,000

Thank you all powerful moderators who were sent by Max Barry to protect us from all things spammy and trollish.

User avatar
Wutaco
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 453
Founded: Jul 08, 2009
Ex-Nation

Re: Spartan Philidelphia Almost Anything Corporation Storefront

Postby Wutaco » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:58 pm

Very nice!
You keep sending them, I'll keep knocking them down!

In response to a thread involing bringing back a Neandrathal:
Lackadaisical2 wrote:We should make one, then fuck it to see if we can interbreed.

More Quotes:
SexocraticLands wrote:I hope the fan kills the cat. And then the fan should kill Miley Cyrus.


Perhaps the fan could rig her jet so it crashes into the Jonas Brother's tour bus?


JuNii wrote:
The Norse Hordes wrote:Fuck PETA. Fuck Glenn Beck.

Ewww... do I reallly have to?

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