Human Rights campaigners are sickened as the Dictator David Gregory announces the new "Troublemaker Torture" plan, whereby new, some would say disgusting new punishments have been brought forward for certain crimes.
For example if one were to steal from a store, and to quote "the offender would have their hands slowly cut into half way with a hacksaw, burnt and then stuck into a dicer"
The Dictator believes this will prevent further offences from happening, a sort of deterrent, this paper has no complaints, because after all, David knows whats best for us!
Mr. Gregory is preparing for the barrage of complaints from other nations, but to be honest, he doesnt really care.
UJN TIMES-9.7.09

