Whaling begins in the Satanic Kingdom (Open, MT).

[Lucifeles]

Satanic News Agency
"For international, national and regional news."

www.sna.sk/national news/economy/whaling-begins-in-satanic-kingdom/

National News - Economy

Whaling begins in the Satanic Kingdom


Here, a duo of whalers can be seen preparing to decapitate a whale for prize.

FELATAN - Earlier this week, the great Quen'Thalas Satanic Council announced the legislation of whaling, an issue which had never seen much attention in the Satanic Kingdom. Lady Neferia Dread, the de facto head of the Council, announced that 'in order to advance the goals of Satan, whaling must become common practice and government sponsered', as all Lucifelens agree. Our great nation must advance Satan's goals by destroying other sentinal life which does not benefit humanity, thus the killing of whales and using their head as a prize should be law. Our economy is great, as is our military, so foreign intervention is highly unlikely and will be destroyed by the latter.

Whaling begin yesterday in the sadly whale-rich waters of our fine lands, with the last ten whales of the Greater Lucifelen family being hunted down and killed, the crew of the ship who did so - the Prestige - being awarded $100 USD each. Approximately twenty other whales were killed, the Lower Lucifelen family becoming a 'Critically Endangered' family according to estimates. All the whalers who took part in yesterday's killings were awarded with $50 USD each.

While international backlash may hit our nation, we will stand tall in the face of foreign aggression and fight off all invasion.

[Birkaine]

Our economy is great, as is our military, so foreign intervention is highly unlikely and will be destroyed by the latter

OOC:

Economy: Imploded
Population: 10 million

[Lucifeles]

((OOC: It's called dictators who don't want the people to think their economy and military are shit. You think Kim Jong tells his people 'the economy's a clusterfuck, the military is huge but dogshit'?))

[Sorgan]

To:The Satanic Kingdom
From: U.S.S.S Foreign Affiars

We in no way support you're ways of this barbaric sport also known as "Whaling". Our Parliament votes against this action and all foreign trade,diplomatic iterations,and otherwise is canceled. Expect to see no Sorgan Citizen in you're Lands. Once again this is a brutal sport not supported by are government. It is hurtful to the environment and the whale population. Please do not whale in our waters if you find you slaughtered all in you're waters.


Unsigned,,,

[Avenio]

The Most Serene Republic of Avenio



Official Telegram - Published by the Cultural Ministry Subcommittee on Official Publications

To: The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles,

The Most Serene Republic condemns these brutal and barbaric acts against the critically endangered Lower Lucifelen subspecies, and towards the noble cetaceans in general. However, we cannot interfere with your politics, and would like to propose a compromise.

We would like to request that a pair of scientific vessels under Avenese registration, the Oceanus and the Phorcys, be allowed to enter Lucifelen waters to collect DNA samples of the Lower Lucifelen phylum, and to capture breeding pairs of the various species in an effort to save your doomed biodiversity. These whales will be released in the Chamomile Marine Sanctuary in Avenio, where they will hopefully repopulate.
We await your reply.

Signed,

Prime Minister
Sophie D'Invierre

International Affairs Minister
Urbain D'Iberville

[Lucifeles]

The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council

---

To: Government, Sorgan.
From: The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council, Lucifeles.
Subject: RE: Action towards whaling.

Dear members of the Sorgan government,

Whales contribute nothing to humanity except flubber and soap, both useless; they are not required as every other animal which does not serve humanity and is not blessed by Satan. However, we shan't whale in your waters; soon enough, you may.

Yours Sincerely,
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council.

* * *

The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council

---

To: International Affairs Minister Urbain D'Iberville, Avenio.
From: The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council, Lucifeles.
Subject: RE: Authorisation to collect Lower Lucifelen samples.

Dear International Affairs Minister Urbain D'Iberville,

We authorise your vessels to collect samples of the Lower Lucifelen subspecies, but they shall be under watch by our fleet. Otherwise, we shall continue our genocides. That is all.

Yours Sincerely,
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council.

[TheBNLCorporation]

The CEO walks up to the podium "Hello government members of the Satanic Kingdom! We would love to trade with you. This "Blubber" is valuable in our nation and we would love to set up trade routes. If we can a meeting would be great!" The CEO still smiling walks off the podium and a BNL logo pops up and it plays a jingle.

[Lucifeles]

The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council

---

To: CEO, TheBNLCorporation.
From: The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council, Lucifeles.
Subject: Flubber trade?

Dear CEO,

Even though flubber is useless in our nation, we would be interested in establishing trade routes with the Corporation. We shall begin collecting flubber at once, and shall sell it to you at market value. Good day.

Yours Sincerely,
The Quen'Thalas Satanic Council.

[Noordeinde]

The Office of the President
The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde

To: The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles
Subject: Whaling.

Sir, Madam,

The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde strongly condems the Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles for taking this controversial step to start a whaling programm for economic purposes. Whaling isn't the solution to solve the problems of an "imploded" economy and further it's very bad for the envirement.

Further the Grand Duchy of Noordeinde would likes to point to the Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles on the facts that whales are rare animals and might extinct in the future. Therefore Noordeinde strongly urgess the Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles to immediatley stop this unneccesary whaling activities. It's cruel and inhumane, there's no economic profit at all and the Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles damages the envirement for life.

Further The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde wishes to know a couple of things.

1. Will the whaling fleet operate in international waters as well or only in territorial waters?
2. Does The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles respect the whale sanctuaries in the ocean and stay out of there?
3. Is the Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles willing to end their whaling programm in exchange for first the neccesary financial and humanitarian aid and afther that development programms to establish a "good" and hopefully green economy?

Further the Grand Duchy of Noordeinde wishes to deploy a Karel Doorman Class Frigate to escort the Avenio scientific vessels.

And as a safety precaution the Noordeinde Navy will deploy the Hr.Ms Overlord of the Noordeinde Navy Anti-Whaling fleet in the nearest whale sanctuary to enforce international laws which forbid whaling vessels to chase, hunt or harvest whales wheter for economic or scientific purposes within the boundries of the sanctuary.


The Hr.Ms Overlord on active patrol in the whale sanctuary.

Yours,
Jonathan Roosevelt
President
The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde

[Gun Manufacturers]

Satanic News Agency
"For international, national and regional news."

www.sna.sk/national news/economy/whaling-begins-in-satanic-kingdom/

National News - Economy

Whaling begins in the Satanic Kingdom


Here, a duo of whalers can be seen preparing to decapitate a whale for prize.

FELATAN - Earlier this week, the great Quen'Thalas Satanic Council announced the legislation of whaling, an issue which had never seen much attention in the Satanic Kingdom. Lady Neferia Dread, the de facto head of the Council, announced that 'in order to advance the goals of Satan, whaling must become common practice and government sponsered', as all Lucifelens agree. Our great nation must advance Satan's goals by destroying other sentinal life which does not benefit humanity, thus the killing of whales and using their head as a prize should be law. Our economy is great, as is our military, so foreign intervention is highly unlikely and will be destroyed by the latter.

Whaling begin yesterday in the sadly whale-rich waters of our fine lands, with the last ten whales of the Greater Lucifelen family being hunted down and killed, the crew of the ship who did so - the Prestige - being awarded $100 USD each. Approximately twenty other whales were killed, the Lower Lucifelen family becoming a 'Critically Endangered' family according to estimates. All the whalers who took part in yesterday's killings were awarded with $50 USD each.

While international backlash may hit our nation, we will stand tall in the face of foreign aggression and fight off all invasion.

**Heavily encrypted message**

The ASoGM would like to suggest The Satanic Kingdom of Lucifeles at least wrap this slaughter up in the bow of scientific discovery. It will earn you far less condemnation from the international audience, and may even get you some help in killing the whales that are found in your territorial waters.