Aestorian Parliamentary Records. Azadistan Treaty Debate. Excerpt until Anchor 3.
Lady High Speaker: Order. Welcome to this joint session of parliament. Azadistan Treaty Debate. Statement from the Prime Minister.
PM: Thank you Lady High Speaker.
My lords, ladies, and gentlemen; you will all have seen the proposals laid before the house for a Treaty formalizing the protectorate of Azadistan and allowing its incorporation into the Aestorian Commonwealth. The proposal aims to secure Azadistan from foreign attack and impending collapse and permit the Commonwealth to establish proper democratic government and justice. It fulfils the triple standard of liberal interventionism: international security, democracy, and humanitarian interest.
h2*
The provisions of the treaty are hybrid provisions, going further than the customs limits placed on federal states and also curtailing military, intelligence, and diplomatic excess and independence, and requiring the formal superiority of federal and universal law. They do not go so far as to demilitarize the country, nor to prevent the continued existence and peaceability of their foreign establishment, or indeed the operation of local laws and courts not inconsistent with these limits.
The proposal also makes provision for limited elections to the Commons and Assembly. My government does not believe this treaty is a permanent settlement nor solution. Nor do we desire closer union. This union is a union for as long as it is of mutual benefit, a liaison formalized into a marriage of convenience, freely entered and exited. The year minimum before Azadistan can exit is simply to ensure that the local government has time to breath, reorganize, and come to some sort of understanding of what, as a nation, Azadistan intends to make of itself.
We are aware that certain nations consider themselves to be at war with Azadistan. We hope there will be peace. Certainly the Commonwealth does not recognize any general state of war, and we will endeavour to de-escalate the situation in the coming days and weeks.
h2However we will of course take purely defensive measures to secure the Commonwealth and trade routes.
h2My government also recognizes that the inclusion of Azadistan undoubtedly lowers the GDP per capita of the nation, requiring us to run a higher deficit. As this comes in exchange for unfettered market access we hope this will prove as profitable and long-sighted as our investments in the less developed parts of Panessos and Decis.
h2It is not customary for a government with the confidence of Parliament to submit treaties to Parliament and nor should this be considered to indicate any shift in the Constitutional settlement. This is laid before Parliament as the full application of these provisions would modify the composition of Parliament, and as the government does value the opinion of Parliamentarians and their channeling of the people’s voice.
h2I commend this treaty to Parliament.
h2Leader of the Opposition: Thank you for giving us advance notice of your speech and the text. We received it five hours ago, which, given the speed you are moving at, is quite impressive. Indeed an advanced copy of the Courante would have it that apparently the treaty was written with less than thirty minutes’ thinking time. All this is only at least ten times less discussion than something of this sort should have.
h2 The phrase ‘crossing the road in too much of a hurry’ comes to mind.
h2 Is it possible you might be leading us to the brink yet again?
h2PM: It is in our interests ...not to be too late.
h2LO: I see the foreign secretary is muttering and smirking. He is his usual bouncy self, bouncing treaties through parliament, the prime minister, and international diplomacy like a xenophobic bouncer at a club.
++* Why are we being the party-pooping world policemen, going against the will of a sizeable number of foreign nations? What of international law and the ability of foreign countries to sort this out?
h2PM: I defer to the party-pooper.
++LHS: Foreign Secretary.
FS: Thank you Lady Speaker. I suppose being called the party pooper is better than being called a bouncer, and either beat being called xenophobic.
h2We should not be too late, as I was telling the Prime Minister, and as he has told you. I shall smile a great deal more if I can get this message across to everyone. Let me start by making it abundantly clear that even if you think I leap into things, compared with some countries, including La Cosa Fedora, which declared war on Azadistan after a few rude exchanges at a science conference, my leaping is as a snail compared to the Leader of the Opposition’s impression of me. It has been said a day is a long time in politics and a century is a long time in diplomacy. A century is a long time for the Commonwealth, to be sure, but for Azadistan a month’s peace and quiet would be a release.
Therefore it becomes necessary for us to intervene - rapidly. An invasion to destroy a nation will not wait for Parliament to sit around. It will wait when it catches sight of our flag, our warships, our Pax Prosperitas.
h2 That is why we are being instant policeman of first resort: to delay war until our law and order has made war unnecessary and fruitless.
h2If the people of the Angel alliance had any sense they’d thank us. I hear that Muslim counterinsurgencies can be extremely bloody and extremely expensive. Their generals may have a gung-ho jingoistic attitude, but there is nothing light-hearted about war and terrorism and if the people of the world have any sense they will restrain their bloodthirsty warmongering politicians and vote for a more sensible foreign policy than trying to invade a nation which is on the brink of becoming a failed terrorist-filled state while simultaneously fighting a fully developed nation with powerful trading allies, which, if push comes to shove, will give them a war that will teach them the benefit of peace.
h2If I can finally one make one point -
LHS: Quickly.
FS: The Leader of the opposition has rightly perhaps decried past Ausitorian excess. This is us now decrying foreign excess.
h2LO: Thank you for the lecture. Bluster and improvizations wins again.
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LHS: Order!
$* Order!
$* Silence!
Whether an opinion is a fact is not a matter for an individual to decide. ∩* But the fact is that everybody has the right to draw their own conclusions. The Leader of the Opposition.
LO: Why are we blustering towards war with a liberal alliance in favour of security and opposed to terrorism?
h2PM: Because there are better ways to favour security and oppose terrorism than the jingoistic bluster of these Angels of death.
h2 Can’t you contribute?
h2 I give way to the Deputy Prime Minister.
DPM: Lady Speaker, Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen, can we stop treating this as a party political? We’ve invited the upper chamber along for a debate and all that anyone’s done is scream their heads off. It doesn’t do much for the dignity of Parliament
h2 - even if the bouncer metaphor was hilarious although he’s not always on top.
++ I give way to the leader of the opposition.
LO: Then I repeat, if the Angel alliance are so trigger happy - which you may be wrong about - then why are we not inviting then to help run the country since in general they have the right motivations?
h2FS: One negotiates from a position of strength, in this case legal strength. And we have tried to get international observers in from the Council for Islamic Co-operation, and international peacekeepers. It is because that failed that we must take such strong and immediate measures.
h2But the government is considering getting an international monitoring group together.
h2 They can help us find intelligence on any terrorist elements.
h2 They can help us rebuild the country.
h2 They can help us educate the country.
h2There are downsides to such a policy. The possibility of being misled, the possibility of being seen as an imposition by Azadastan, the possibility of confused and parallel law and order. We must discuss these issues in the coming days and weeks.
LHS: The Leader of the Further.
LF: Thank you, lady speaker. Well well, what a mess we have here. What a tangled web we weave in our diplomatic exploits. The spider-puppeteer strikes again. ∩
So, to contribute: let the international community in to help sort out the mess.
h2 Respect the state government.
h2 Arrange a pathway to independence if they should desire it.
h2 Stop this liberal imperialism interventionism before it’s too late.
$LHS: Order! Right, we’re going to debate this. Anchor one on the record. @1 Debate. Can I have hands for those who currently wish to speak in favour of international mechanisms.
h2Thank you. Can I have hands of those who wish to speak on the treaty change of the composition to the house? The Foreign Secretary.
FS: The proposal is an interim measure. I know the representation is less than standard, but Azadistan’s membership is less than - of - a standard sort. The sovereignty is less than clear and likely temporary and certainly interim. Parliament can increase representation later, in time for the next scheduled election if need be.
h2LHS: Shadow Foreign Secretary.
SFS: The bouncer strikes again. It is not perfect - it would be better to be properly democratic and clearer on Azadistan’s constitutional position - but we can live with the proposed number of representatives for the moment.
h2LHS: Further Foreign Secretary.
FFS: We think the number is too small for a state and too high for an independent country.
h2 It is muddled and confused.
h2 It must be amended.
h2LHS: Foreign Secretary.
FS: Too late, and too early. I move we schedule a debating session in one month. I move we skip to third reading. I move we ratify the treaty and discuss what comes next, rather than unpicking our own diplomacy.
h2LHS: Anchor 2. @2 Votes. Debate Azadistan representation in one month. Those in favour aye, to the contrary nay. Whips?
LF: Aye.
LO: Aye.
LHS: Motion.
*
LHS: The ayes have it. Move to third - LO.
LO: We move to adjourn for fifteen minutes.
LHS: Whips?
LO: Aye.
LF: Aye.
LHS: Those in favour aye, to the contrary nay.
*
The ayes have it. Adjourned for fifteen minutes.
:-:
LHS: Order. Motion to skip to third reading. Leader of the Opposition.
LO: We think it better to finish this debate first.
h2LHS: Foreign Secretary.
FS: Motion withdrawn.
LHS: Anchor 3. @3 International Mechanisms. Lord White.
[…]
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h2 -
hear, hear+ -
laughter, ++ when universal$ -
uproar, especially shouts of "shame!" and "hear hear!" from opposing factions∩ -
unintelligible talking, usually by whichever party you think are unintelligible* -
voting, shouts of "aye", "nay", and occasionally "meh" if the abstainers are being particularly vocalParliamentary Trivia of the Day
Due to the abbreviations used in the Parliamentary Records, the leader of the opposition (usually the second largest party) is often referred to as 'ello, 'ello
; and the leader of the further (opposition) (usually the third largest party, if comparable in size to the opposition party) is often referred to as "the elf".