Murderer of seven impaled in Herbertskirken, Tullemark

[Medwedian Democratic Federation]

14th day of February of the 2018th Year of the Lord

MEDWEDIAN INTERNATIONAL PRESS SERVICE

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MURDERER OF SEVEN IMPALED IN HERBERTSKIRKEN IN THE PROVINCE OF TULLEMARK


Wooden stakes used for impalement on display in the park of the town Herbertskirken. Source: MIPS-PHOTO

It has been confirmed by the Municipal Police of Herbertskirken, in the west of the province of Tullemark, that Albert Martinsgaard, a murderer of seven women and children, has been executed by impalement on a wooden stake today, on the 14th of February. Along with him were impaled two sodomites, three thiefs, a vegetarian, four thought-criminals and seven consumers of intoxicating substances. The process was efficient. The stakes were smeared with oil before being driven into the criminals from below at 08:00 Medwed Standard Time. A team of ten torturers and two surgeons prolonged the deserved suffering of the condemned by injecting adrenaline and administering smelling salts. The prescribed sentence time was seven hours for the murderer and four hours for the other condemned; all survived until the thresholds had been reached, after which hay was assembled and lit to bonfires at the stakes. The remains of the corpses were incinerated, after which the execution site, located on the town square of Herbertskirken, was disinfected.

The Municipal Police of Herbertskirken would like to express gratitude towards all viewers of the execution. Two classes of Herbertskirken Grammar School attended the procedure in a field trip.

GLORY TO GOD AND FATHERLAND!
GLORY TO HIS EXCELLENCY, OUR BELOVED LEADER, THE GLORIOUS AND HONOURABLE PRESIDENT OF THE MEDWEDIAN DEMOCRATIC FEDERATION, HIGH MARSHAL THEODOR LYNDEN FRANKENSTEIN!
GLORY TO MEDWEDIA!

[Skyhooked]

From: Skyhooked
To: Medwedian "democratic" federation.

We don't care about murderer, cause he deserved that. Good job on wasting this degenerate. But we know, that together with him, you just killed bunch of innocents. What the heck is wrong with you? You realize, that we won't take those artrocities kindly. Especially,
since we were oppressed by the ones like you. Better cease at once, or you gonna have trouble.

[Purpelia]

We in Purpelia consider your punishments barbaric. For to kill one of your own people is to kill ones own family. However we also fully support your right to do this. For it is your nation and your family. And what happens in a family stays in that family.

[Hamilpore]

We would like to declare our opinion that the practices of the Mewedian Democratic Federation should be considered barbaric. Such practices should not be enforced within any modern nation. We, along with our co-patron nations, condemn the Mewedian Democratic Federation for crimes against humanity. Such actions will be reinforced with a total embargo on Mewedian goods and a lack of intervention against hostilities.

Our G-d is the Lord, Our Lord is One.
May hashem have mercy upon your souls.

-Hamilpore Diplomatic Service-

[Purpelia]

Why would you act against them over this? I mean sure, they are barbaric, but so what? Not your citizens, not your problem. And sure, condemning them and calling them barbarians is fine. We do it too. But that's just propaganda for internal consumption to make your people think better of their government. An embargo is actual economic action. Even if it does not lose you profit just maintaining it is going to cost you. So why do it?

[Kenmoria]

Kenmoria has long since abandoned the death penalty as barbaric, but recognise its uses especially in circumstances such as this. Therefore, we urge the Medwedian Federation to cease using such extreme practises and switch to a cleaner, more efficient, but ultimately more humane method, like lethal injection.

[Pilarcraft]

From: The Office of the Chief Spokesman
The Confederal Alliance of Pilarcraft officially condemns the so-called Medwedian Democratic Federation for the following:

• Unlawful murder of two Innocents
• Disproportional, unjustified punishments not befitting the crime of theft.
• Unlawful murder of one innocent.
• Legalizing the concept of "Thought-crime"
• Disproportional, unjustified, and unlawful punishment for the act of intoxication, which is not a crime.
• Disproportional, unjustified, cruel, and barbaric methods of execution.

and hereby announces that The Confederal Alliance, along with any nation in a formal alliance with us, to see you in contempt of laws of nature, sapient, and the fundamental matter of justice.

Adyson Lionheart
Chief Spokesman

[Faskeland]

The National Socialist nation of Faskeland has chosen to CONDEMN the degenerate Sand Cultists of Medwedia.

The condemnation is supported by:

• Excessive pain for condemned.
• Execution of sodomites and the innocent vegetarian.
• Support for the Christian fiends.

All Medwedian officials will now be designated as ‘shoot on sight’, and rebels will be supported by Faskeland.

Death to Christiandom.
Death to degeneracy.

[Skyhooked]

(Image)

The National Socialist nation of Faskeland has chosen to CONDEMN the degenerate Sand Cultists of Medwedia.

The condemnation is supported by:

• Excessive pain for condemned.
• Execution of sodomites and the innocent vegetarian.
• Support for the Christian fiends.

All Medwedian officials will now be designated as ‘shoot on sight’, and rebels will be supported by Faskeland.

Death to Christiandom.
Death to degeneracy.

It's really weird, but in this case, we agree with those national-socialsits. So, our folk are getting loaded for bears too.

[Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft]

The Minecraftian Federal Administration strongly condemns these atrocities:

. Barbaric method of execution and deliberate attempts to prolong their suffering
. Disproportionate punishment for thievery
. Criminalisation of sodomy, vegetarianism and drug use, which are victimless crimes

Ideally, abolish capital punishment, If for some reason you need to retain it, use a more humane method such as lethal injection or firing squad.

[Arbeiter und Bauern]

The Communist Party of Workers and Peasants recognizes Medwedia as a reactionist and crypto-fascist state which is to be dismantled in the course of world revolution.

Nothing but death to fascism!

[Blakullar]

"I want to thoroughly and wholeheartedly protest the impalement of these criminals! I'll have you know that scaphism is a much better way to torture someone to death! Especially if you spike the honey with bisacodyl beforehand!"

~ Ippolyta the Manreaper.

[Hamilpore]

Why would you act against them over this? I mean sure, they are barbaric, but so what? Not your citizens, not your problem. And sure, condemning them and calling them barbarians is fine. We do it too. But that's just propaganda for internal consumption to make your people think better of their government. An embargo is actual economic action. Even if it does not lose you profit just maintaining it is going to cost you. So why do it?

It is because we are a moralistic society. We stand for certain rights on a national level.

[Medwedian Democratic Federation]

"I want to thoroughly and wholeheartedly protest the impalement of these criminals! I'll have you know that scaphism is a much better way to torture someone to death! Especially if you spike the honey with bisacodyl beforehand!"

~ Ippolyta the Manreaper.

Dear Ippolyta,

We indeed do use scaphism, but for direr crimes such as the selling of tofu, not naming the full title of His Excellency, Our Beloved Leader, the Glorious and Honourable President of the Medwedian Democratic Federation, High Marshal Theodor Lynden Frankenstein, sodomy or jaywalking. All Medwedian executioners are trained to prepare and perform scaphisms. Special scaphism honey that contains bisacodyl and several substances that improve pain perception is produced in the Executioners' Supply Factory II in Tulleborg. His Excellency, Our Beloved Leader, the Glorious and Honourable President of the Medwedian Democratic Federation, High Marshal Theodor Lynden Frankenstein has himself developed the recipe.

Signed,
The Honourable General-Major and Executioner-General-Major Wengbert Kirkenhammer,
Federal Minister of Torture and Execution of the Medwedian Democratic Federation


GLORY TO GOD AND FATHERLAND!
GLORY TO HIS EXCELLENCY, OUR BELOVED LEADER, THE GLORIOUS AND HONOURABLE PRESIDENT OF THE MEDWEDIAN DEMOCRATIC FEDERATION, HIGH MARSHAL THEODOR LYNDEN FRANKENSTEIN!
GLORY TO MEDWEDIA!