The dance on the thin blade between humanity and insanity is an inevitable one for the warrior. I danced that rhythm long ago.
Sweat rolls down my cheeks, evaporating before they slip too far and drip down into my uniform. I feel as if I am being boiled alive in this heat. All I see is an endless desert as we drive through southeastern Potthan. I've been on this convoy for three days now after a four-day voyage by ship out of Kríerstatón 'Vos Díelaht.' Strong summer winds lift gusts of sand across barren lands as our column enters the border town of Nero.
Refugee camps abound along these ranges. They stand on the edge of the road, begging us for food, water, and money, dressed in what were more dirty, torn rags than clothing. I can see the filth that fills their pores on their brown faces, as we look out at the wasteland through the tinted glass ports of the Tiznao truck. Shacks made of spare wood and metal, tents if not, spread across the landscape just outside of Nero and the 'suburb of shanties' — as I call it — comes up right against the outskirts of the town. I feel little sorrow as we leave that ghetto behind us, I have by now seen too many of the world's most destitute battlefields to spend emotion on those who are better off dead.
The town is not much to speak of. A small military compound dominates the entrance along the Potthani border. From where I can see, it looks abandoned. From what I know, it might as well be. The Baarjastani military holds little purchase in these areas of their country, and it was too recent ago that they found themselves almost defenseless against the bloody, quarterless raids of the Potthani Terror Brigades, the feared PTBs.
Drab, low-rising buildings made of sun-dried bricks make up most of the architecture. Pieces of tan and charred rubble litter the margins of the streets along bombed-out lots, still left unrepaired since the war. Children play in the street, kicking around a soccer ball and chasing each other around the moving convoy as if none of the death and destruction ever happened. They shouted after us as we kept moving down the long road that cut through Nero like a river of cracked, churned pavement. I turn away from my narrow window at the sound of someone speaking.
"...my little girl, Akidna, is only four years of age. My two boys are not much older, eight and ten." The men are passing photographs around and when they finally come around to me I just pass them right along. I haven't had the luxury of children yet, at least children that I know of, and I'm 34. This asshole should consider himself lucky. "This is my first diplomatic mission away from home," he's telling those pretending to listen. "I'll be away from them and my wife for a year at least, or so they tell me. These types of posts always drag on." Jogornos Viversa says the last with sadness and his eyes dart down to the gray, steel floor of the cabin. When the pics come back to him, he puts them away in a wallet he stores in the inside pocket of his tapered suit jacket. There is no pity for him here.
Each one of us in this truck has sacrificed that dream of a family for the violence of our reality. We each have our reasons. Mine came six years ago. What most civvies back home don't realize is that war and peace are like parallel universes. Like two different countries, with different rules. I lost my connection to your world and have become intoxicated with mine.
I look back up to see buildings turn to sand again. I must have been lost in thought for quite some time to have crossed Nero and not even realize it. The cabin is quiet again, the jogornos — the Díenstadi word for diplomat — keeping to himself and only some of the men murmuring between themselves. It's been a long ride and we are all tired.
By the time we reach Barbakán 'Kuraya Milag' we are in the early evening and if it the sun still rides high it is because of the season.
The base is predictably lyran [OOC: my in-character word for 'spartan'], with tall tan walls made of concrete and barbed wire hiding squat, equally-as-ugly barracks and administrative buildings. It's small, enough for the battalion, its attached anti-air complement, and other small attachments. Only about a quarter of those actually stay here, if our earlier briefing was anything to go by. MPs man the gates, letting us through without forcing us to stop. They know who we are. Inside, the streets are almost bare of soldiers. Most of my comrades are elsewhere, concentrated in eastern forward operating bases, where the war is being fought. That's where I should be, but instead I'm here, taking care of the man telling soldiers who haven't seen home in almost two decades about how much he misses the kids he saw a week ago.
We aren't staying at 'Kuraya Milag' for very long. The jogornos wants to stop here for a meet and greet with Koronel Benjamin Conway, battalion commander. We get to watch, standing in the courtyard of base HQ, while that great yellow ball in the sky beats down us with its arms of fire, our rifles in our hand and in full battle rattle. The jogornos takes his time.
The koronel is a big guy and a good fighter. I've seen it first hand in the dark, twisted, depths of the Indran jungle. I've seen him run another man through with his blade. But the man was a career officer in the Morridane army. If the man split early it's because the Golden Throne pays those that fight for it well, but he's the certified ass kisser that a soldier in his position needs to be. That's why you'll never catch anyone salute at me. Fuck that. I'm just not good at it and I leave it to the people who are, people like Conway, the damn finest commander I've had the honor to serve under.
He makes short work of the diplomat, who's all smiles and pleasures until he gets back into the transport's passenger compartment. Inside, the doors close as the last of us honor guard pile in after him. His face is sour.
"The kríerlord ought to have allowed me to schedule my visit to Falzaah." Is he whining? The diplomat sounds bitter. Soft. He has a face of discomfort, as the convoy jerks into motion again. "This drive is proving to be most inconvenient. Your, do you say,...colonel" — he twists and slurs that word in his Díenstadi accent — "had much to tell me and more that he could not because I could not make the time. The waste. Ah, well."
I bet you're just bitchin' 'cos yer bum hurts from riding that seat all day. It's just a thought. Apparently, an out loud thought.
"What was that, Primsargént Byrd?" The jogornos turns his head and neck at me as they were one unit, like a wide-eyed vulture in sight of a fresh carcass. "You murmured something."
I need to watch my damned tongue. I'm leaning back into my seat, relaxed. Some of the others are looking at me now. They must think this amusing or some shit. I keep it cool. "My apologies, jogornos. I was merely thinking aloud, it was nothing of importance. I assure you."
Viversa eyes me. "I see," he says. "I wouldn't expect you men to understand anyways. It is a thing of politics."
I wish I could shoot him right now. But, I can't. Well, I could. I'm not ready for the brig, though. They say that they send you to New Empire for capital crimes, and not to the underground cesspools they call cities, but to the surface. Up there, all there is death and radiation, all product of a nuclear war dozens of years ago that is distant memory for most. I haven't been, maybe it'll be my next stop, who knows. But, I know blokes in the Morridane army who deployed there for the peacekeeping mission and I've heard the stories.
The rest of the trip, anyway, we make in silence. Despite the diplomat's complaining, we are not driving to Falzaah directly. Our next stop is Barbakán 'Toi Bora', a FOB north of 'Kuraya Milag', closer to the informal frontier with the syndicate-held east. It's a fort out of which a company of fellow régulies operates out of. Bandag 'Kelo'pa Jenein.' 'Dark Repear,' in old Díenstadi.
We arrive at 'Toi Bora' as the sun hangs just over the horizon, it stains the clouds with its dull orange-red glow. In the distance, the melody of small arms fire sounds.
The temperature has dropped thirty degrees from where it stood when we first crossed into Baarjistan. In my power armor I am unaffected, but I am looking forward to shedding all of this gear and meeting up with some old friend — if the diplomat allows. There is hardly any wind, but it's almost as if I can hear a howl and I can feel the chill creep into my bones. Something out there calls to me, lures me to it. The stench of a battle soon to come wafts into my nostrils and I breathe it in as we exit our truck for the last time today.
My veins boil in bloodlust. I am at home. I am at war. I am Primsargént Leland Byrd of Tabor 'Cazaterüs' and this is the story of my adventure in Baarjistan.