Attention, Earthbound peasants...

[World Domination Studios]

Pursuant to issue #233, I have constructed a giant laser cannon on the Moon, turning it into what I like to call a "Death Star".



I will destroy one major city every hour, on the hour, unless, of course, you pay me... ONE MILLION DOLLARS

[Ban Pho]

The National Phok Space Corps are quick to send a "hyperfusionic bomb" towards the moon, destroying all life on it, but not without affecting the earth for all eternity.

[Soyouso]

"Hm? What? He wants to take over the world? Oh, he's one of us.
Look, I can't understand why you'd want this shithole of a planet, but us imperialists get each other. All Soyouso wants is our own continent, either controlled by us or our allies. It probably looks small to you, but by Earth standards continents are very big.
Of course we'll give you one million dollars, dah-ling. Nay, two million. Why? Because we like your spunk. Come over for some hot chocolate or vodka any time. We could be great friends. I mean this as me personally, and as a diplomatic way. That is, when the huge world war we're in ends. If we live."
-His Most Fabulous Majesty, Bartholomew Turnabout, The Dictator of Soyouso

[World Domination Studios]

The National Phok Space Corps are quick to send a "hyperfusionic bomb" towards the moon, destroying all life on it, but not without affecting the earth for all eternity.

The laser is not alive. we are very confused by exactly what you were trying to accomplish with this.

"Hm? What? He wants to take over the world? Oh, he's one of us.
Look, I can't understand why you'd want this shithole of a planet, but us imperialists get each other. All Soyouso wants is our own continent, either controlled by us or our allies. It probably looks small to you, but by Earth standards continents are very big.
Of course we'll give you one million dollars, dah-ling. Nay, two million. Why? Because we like your spunk. Come over for some hot chocolate or vodka any time. We could be great friends. I mean this as me personally, and as a diplomatic way. That is, when the huge world war we're in ends. If we live."
-His Most Fabulous Majesty, Bartholomew Turnabout, The Dictator of Soyouso

I LOVE vodka! I bet I can drink more than you without losing consciousness.

[Soyouso]

Fabulous Music Intensifies as the dictator is layed out on a beautifully made couch with golden rims, in a paint me like of your French girls pose as they liked to do for he was king of fabulousness
"Dr.Evil, dah-ling imperialist comrade, our people are veterans in sustaining alcohol. Are you sure you really want to challenge us to a drink off? Hm, you are a brave one. I gues after we sober up we could speak diplomatically, eh? We already sent the money. You're welcome in any time you want, we should do this at the castle, yes?
-His Most Fabulous Majesty, Bartholomew Turnabout, The Dictator of Soyouso