BNP's Britain Travel Advisory

[BNPs Britain]

BNP's Britain Travel Advisory

TO: All member nation/regions
FROM: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

Please be aware that The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain is a Catholic/Christian state and that visitors from foreign countries cannot practice any of the following religions when visiting our nation or any other religion which is not on the list:

Islam
Hinduism
Chinese traditional religions
Buddhism
Taoism
primal-indigenous religions
African Traditional & Diasporic religions
Sikhism
Juche
Spiritism
Judaism
Baha'i
Jainism
Shinto
Cao Dai
Zoroastrianism
Tenrikyo
Neo-Paganism
Unitarian-Universalism
Rastafarianism
Scientology

Anybody found practicing any of these religion faces a prison sentence of up to 12 years and/or a fine of up to £20,000. Anybody found recruiting people into any of the religion's faces a sentence of up to life in prison and/or a unlimited fine.

Yours sincerely

Emma Colgate
Minister for Foreign Affairs
The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

[Grittonia]

The nation of Grittonia is sending 1000 Imam's and 10,000 scientology followers with our best regards .

[Kylarnatia]

To: BNP's Britian
From: The Ancient Empire Of Kylarnatia
------------------------------------------------------

Is this some kind of joke?

You can't take away someones beliefs and rights just because you don't like them. Now we don't want to be enemys with you, but I don't see this ending well, your destroying britian, and you can't deny it.

Dominic Jager,
Economic Chancellor of Kylarnatia

[Noordeinde]

The Office of the President
The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde

Sir, Madam,

It's a disgrace that you are actually a member of the World Assembly and domnesticly enforce these laws against other religions. The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde highly condemns your country untill other religions may be practised as well without the fear of being arrested and prosecuted.

Yours,
Jonathan Roosevelt
President
The Grand Duchy of Noordeinde

[Leistung]

To: Minister for Foreign Affairs, BNP's Britain
From: Office of the Chancellor
Subj: Civil rights abuses in BNP's Britain

Let it be known that visitors to BNP's Britain incarcerated for the reasons stated in your travel advisory will be promptly granted asylum in the Federal Republic of Leistung and will be removed from BNP's Britain forcibly, if necessary. No Leistungi citizens will be imprisoned or fined in BNP's Britain for practicing a "restricted" religion, lest your government desire military action.

We strongly recommend you comply with this decree, as opposition will result in harsh penalties.

With the utmost contempt,

Hans Ziegler
Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Leistung

[Walmington on Sea]

23 Lime Crescent, Walmington on Sea

"...or any other religion which is not on the list."

"So, no CofE, then?"

"Hard to say, sir. Given the severity of the penalties, one might've hoped they'd be a little clearer than, 'Catholic-slash-Christian'. Does that mean predominantly Catholic, but other denominations are okay, too, or were they just implying that Catholicism is the only sort of Christianity they consider proper?"

"...You know what, Wilson, I think I've just about lost interest. How's the second test looking?"

Deputy Prime Minister Arthur Wilson put down his teacup and set to the considerable task of unfolding and refolding the day's edition of The Standard, a broadsheet almost bigger than the average Walmingtonian, moving from the regular Today in the Tinpots column to the far more important business of day two of the second test in Volumbo. "Oh" he said, almost afraid to share with PM Mainwaring the latest. "Hackett's gone for a duck, and the monsoon's hit."

[BNPs Britain]

To: Office of the Chancellor, the Federal Republic of Leistung
From: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

Any person/people military or otherwise who tries to forcibly remove a prisoner from BNP's Britain will be executed by firing squad and the prisoner as well. You can request for a imprisoned citizen to be transferred to a prison in there own country to carry out the rest of his sentence
after 4 years of imprisonment.


Yours sincerely

Richard Barnbrook
Secretary of State for Justice
The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

[Kylarnatia]

----- I loled when i realised, your forgetting devil worship

[Platypusistan]

To: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain
From: The Theocracy of Platypusistan Ministry of Religious Affairs

The Theocracy of Platypusistan would like to clarify whether or not Platystani nationals traveling in the UK will be allowed to freely practice their religion, Platypusism. The people of Platypusistan take their religion very seriously, and not conducting their frequent, conspicuous daily rituals is not an option. The Theocracy of Platypusistan hopes that you consider this issue very carefully, It would not be in the interest of either of our nations to unjustly incarcerate Platystani nationals.

[BNPs Britain]

----- I loled when i realised, your forgetting devil worship

or any other religion which is not on the list

[Tolvan]

*OFFICAL COMMUNIQUE*

To: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain
From: Sir Robert Donovan, Foreign Minister, Commonwealth of Tolvan

RE: Travel Ban

Dear Sir,

Please be advised that all travel and trade between the Commonwealth and your nations is hereby suspended due to your nation's oppressive policies, while the majority of Tolvanic citizens are Christian, the Commonwealth is nevertheless a staunch supporter of religious freedom. All BNP nationals onTolvanic soil have 48 hours to depart or request asylum or face arrest under the Immigration Act of 1896. All ships flying the flag of the BNP Britian are barred from entering Tolvanic waters, should they attempt to do so they will be boarded and interred. Any attemtps to retaliate against any Tolvanic citizens unfortunate enough to be within your borders will be dealt with harshly. You will not be warned again.

[Kylarnatia]

----- I loled when i realised, your forgetting devil worship

or any other religion which is not on the list

---- Oh yes, sorry. Also, you haven't replied to my letter.

[Platypusistan]

To: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain
From: The Theocracy of Platypusistan Ministry of Religious Affairs

We understand what the policy is, however we request an exception for followers of the Church of the Holy Platypus. There is a significant Platystani community in the UK, all of them follow Platypusism. We wish to guarantee the religious freedom of Platystanis world wide.

[Leistung]

To: Office of the Chancellor, the Federal Republic of Leistung
From: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

Any person/people military or otherwise who tries to forcibly remove a prisoner from BNP's Britain will be executed by firing squad and the prisoner as well. You can request for a imprisoned citizen to be transferred to a prison in there own country to carry out the rest of his sentence
after 4 years of imprisonment.


Yours sincerely

Richard Barnbrook
Secretary of State for Justice
The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

To: Minister for Foreign Affairs, BNP's Britain
From: Office of the Chancellor
Subj: Re: Civil rights abuses in BNP's Britain

You misunderstand -- any and all foreign individuals arrested in BNP's Britain for "religious offenses" are to be turned over to the Federal Republic at the earliest possible convenience. Once in Leistung, they will "carry out" the remainder of their sentence.

It should also be made known that any individual charged the fine for practicing the religion of their choice will be reimbursed fully by the Federal Republic. Opposition to either of these policies in the form of violence towards our citizens will be taken as an act of war.

With the utmost contempt,

Hans Ziegler
Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Leistung

[Kylarnatia]

To: BNP's Britian
From: The Ancient Empire of Kylarnatia
---------------------------------------------------

The church of Kylarnatia is a Christianity related religon, except we belive that god created the universe with the big bang, and made the humans sepratly. Now we would love if you could make an exception for are group of Christians which basically just follow the same religion but with one diffrent view which they keep to themselves.

Stephine Williams,
Religious Leader of Kylarnatia

[Leistung]

OOC: The Leistungi Catholic Church is centered around St. John's Basilica in Falkenberg, Leistung. It does not acknowledge the Pope of Rome, instead following Pope Tiberius II, a Leistungi national. Would you have an issue with that?

[BNPs Britain]

To: The Theocracy of Platypusistan Ministry of Religious Affairs
From: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain does not recognize Platypusism as a religion or the Church of the Holy Platypus and advises Platystani people living here can practice there religion. We will advise you if this changes so you can inform your people and they don't get unduly arrested


Yours sincerely

Jeremy Clarkson
Ministry of Religious Affairs
The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

[BNPs Britain]

To: All Nations/Regions
From: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain does not discriminate between different Christian or Catholic religions therefore any Christian or Catholic based religion is allowed within reason.

Yours sincerely

Jeremy Clarkson
Ministry of Religious Affairs
The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

[Barzan]

Somewhere in the back-offices of Barzan’s Foreign Ministry, two deputy ministers are busy studying the international news wire. The press release from the United Kingdom of BNP's Britain catches their eye…

Jens: Hey Willi, take a look at this.

Willi: What?

Jens: There’s this country called “The United Kingdom of BNP’s Britain” that sent a directive to the international media stating that no one who practices any religion other than that of their own established Church is allowed to travel to their Kingdom.

Willi: Heh, so… is their tourist industry is making too much money and they needed to cut back? Or is it that, even though they’re such a small nation, they’re so swamped with trade surpluses that they feel they have no need for allies or trading partners?

Jens: I guess not.

Willi: Should we suggest to the Minister that we issue a travel ban?

Jens: Well, people need exit visas to leave, and most people aren’t able to get passports anyway, so what’s the point?

Willi: Well, it would make us look good – we can decry the evil imperialist capitalists and their policies of oppression…

Jens: But no one wants to go there anyway!

Willi: Don’t be such a Dummkopf , Jens. This is diplomacy. We want to look good by rallying against what is seen to be a wrong in the eyes of the international community.

Jens: Ja, but we don’t practise those religions either. Technically the government is atheist.

Willi: But we don’t ban religion, and we certainly don’t go around naming “right and wrong” ones. We make fun of them all but allow people to do what they want in the privacy of their own homes. We simply don’t allow public proselytising or sedition which would harm our socialist fatherland.

Jens: True. But our population is pretty homogeneous anyway. Those who do have religions are mostly Protestants and also maybe some Catholics and Jews.

Willi: Still, Condemning the actions of an oppressive, Fascist, capitalist regime, no matter how puny, insignificant, or isolated from the international community, would be a positive PR move for our Republic.

Jens: Ok. Let’s bring it up at this afternoon’s briefing with the Minister.

Later that day…

The People’s Republic of Barzan
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Foreign Office

PRESS RELEASE

20 June 2009 (13:30 hrs Barzan Standard Time)

The Foreign Office has issued a Travel Warning for The United Kingdom of BNP’s Britain that covers the entire country and is effective immediately. Because of the increased stoking of inter-religious tensions by the Kingdom’s Fascist government, an already tenuous security situation is likely to quickly deteriorate, placing any and all foreigners in grave danger of violence from the police, national security forces, paramilitary and civilian organisations. The Foreign Office hereby orders all Barzan citizens present in BNP’s Britain to depart immediately for their own safety. The Office also recommends that any other foreign nationals strongly consider doing likewise.

Earlier today, the government of The United Kingdom of BNP’s Britain issued a decree that all persons with religions other than that of the official religion of the established state Church would be subject to lengthy prison sentences and excessive fines. It is not known how such crimes are to be judged, as BNP’s Britain’s laws are quite vague and hubristic in this regard. We can only assume that such laws are either pretexts for the suppression of any non-Fascists living within BNP’s Britain or as ploys to extort hard currency from foreigners. We have heard reports of large numbers of Platypusistan nationals being arbitrarily detained because of this new decree.

Please remember that The People’s Republic of Barzan has no diplomatic relations with The Kingdom of BNP’s Britain, so there are no consular services available to Barzan citizens in BNP’s Britain.

# # #

[Umkhonto we Sizwe]

All over Umkhonto we Sizwe, TVs were turned on. Citizens watched in bars and outside electronic shop windows as their fearless leader, Simba Mbaye, stumbled into the camera shot of the presidential office, placed the bottle of whisky he was holding on his desk, and sat at his seat, checking his quiff in a mirror before being signalled by someone off-screen to start talking before he embarrassed himself further. And so, he commenced his speech,

'My fellow citizens, at this hour, Sizwean forces are in the early stages of preparation to drop thousands of copies of the Koran, the Torah, Dianetics and Delia Smith's Winter Cookbook over the oppressed nation of BNPs Britain, and to defend the world from grave danger. On my orders, Sizwean forces will begin launching illiterate immigrants at selected targets of some importance, to undermine Nick Griffon's ability to post comments about how much he hates everything. These are opening stages of what will be a brief and probably insignificant campaign. More than 35 of my girlfriends are giving crucial support, as is the local mosque and that video rental shop across the street.'

At that point, before he could go any further, his mobile phone began to ring. Mbaye put his and up and turned away from the camera to take the call. After much muted muttering, Mbaye flipped his phone shut, stood up, swiped the whisky from the desk and promptly fell over. Then, the screen went blank.

'We now return to our regular broadcast of "Friends"!' announced the television. The crowds cheered.

[Saint Gilbert]

+ To be read in all Catholic and Anglican Churches throughout Saint Gilbert this Sunday +

To: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain
From: The Prince-Bishopric of Saint Gilbert

We are a Christian state, but we cannot and will not condone this ridiculous policy you have implemented. To quote the great scholar Alcuin of York, "faith is a free act of the will, not a forced act." That is a truth self-evident to any right-thinking Christian.

You should hang your heads in shame, as should any clergyman within BNP's Britain who does not stand up against this tyranny. Christ did not shed his blood on Calvary so that a tinpot amateur dictator could use his memory as a means to purge his enemies.

Sirs, you may consider yourselves a Christian nation. We do not. And I think you can rest assured the rest of Christendom does not.

May God have mercy on your misguided souls.

The Rt. Rev. Eustace Edwardson
Prince-Bishop of St. Gilbert's

The Rt. Rev. Dr. Cecil Latimer,
Anglican Bishop of Mallingford

The Rt. Hon. Montague Winscote-Howe,
Prime Minister of Saint Gilbert.

[Northern Colonies]

*** Official Government Communication***

TO: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain
FROM: Minister for Foreign Affairs, Federation of Northern Colonies

The Northern Colonies Government officially condemns your attempts to ban the practice of any religious faiths. It is our nation's belief that it is abhorrent to think that is right for free thought to be eliminated though the actions of the state. We urge you to cease and decease from any attempts to restrict the freedom of religion. Further action may be undertaken if this persecution continues.

Furthermore, under the Immigration and Migration Act 1978 and the regulations made thereunder, religious persecution is one of the categories that allow asylum seekers to gain access to the Temporary Protection Visa and the Permanent Protection Visa (Refugee Status).

Yours Sincerely
John Nickelmayer
Minister for Foreign Affairs

**** Travel Advisory Update **** (message posted on www.travelsmart.gov.nc)
Nation: The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain

The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has today upgraded its travel warning after an announcement from the Government of The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain in regards to the banning of the practice of certain non-Christian religions. The Department recommends that all Northern Coloninal nationals resident in The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain to leave as soon a practically possible. The Department also recommends that non-essential travel to The United Kingdom of BNP's Britain should be avoided.