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How to write diplomatese

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 1:12 pm
by OMGeverynameistaken
Alright, I've noticed that this tends to be a bit of a 'thing' here on NS, while some people have got it down, others could use some pointers, so I figured I'd do a little thread on it.

The issue at hand is diplomatic letters, notices, and so forth. I have seen, quite often, rather...strange formats and usages of certain words, for instance, addressing a fellow national leader as 'dear (leaders name here)'. While perhaps a cultural phenomenon, it's generally accepted that you don't open diplomatic correspondence with 'dear', so I'll address this first.

The opening
(For further information on titles and forms of address, see this topic:
Styles of Address and Titles

The opening of your communique is highly dependent on who exactly you're addressing and the 'style' of your nation. Obviously the Evil Empire of Eviltopia is not going to address the President of the Happy Republic of Flufflyland in a polite manner, except possibly as a means to lure him to his doom. Of course, if Eviltopia and Fluffyland are allied, things might be different. The two situations might be presented thusly...
"A Dispatch From His High Evilness, the Supreme Dark Emperor of Eviltopia, May He Forever Reign in Shadow and Devour the Souls of your Children:"


That's a bit of an exaggeration, though. A more...normal nation might simply go with cold politeness for somebody they don't like...

"To the President of the Happy Republic of Fluffyland:"


Now, for a friendly state, you might go with something along the lines of...

"Greetings to Our Most Respected and Trustworthy Ally, The Happy Republic of Fluffyland,"


You may also find that you have to talk to a nation MORE powerful than yourself, who you may possibly be just a teensy bit afraid of. In that case, something like...

O Great Emperor Vlad VIII, the most Evil, who devoured the toes of all of our soldiers so recently,


That's a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but sometimes a bit of flattery right off the bad is the right way to go if you don't want your toes eaten.

Now, there's also more personal diplomatic correspondence, for instance, between familiar national leaders. In that case, it's generally accepted that it should be addressed to the ruler using a short-form title, something along the lines of 'To His Imperial Majesty, The Emperor Vlad VIII of Eviltopia". Some states, such as myself, have leaders who collect titles like dandruff with the apparent goal of having more titles than anybody else. You don't have to use the ENTIRE long form of a title unless you feel like exaggerating or being exceptionally subservient. In some cases you may want to check if there's a specific form of address to use. For example, in my factbook I have a handy reference chart of titles for nobility.

The exact intricacies of how you refer to various nobles or royals is a bit complex in between states, but generally 'your majesty' or 'your highness' is reserved for the ruling family, appending 'imperial' if the majesty in question happens to be an emperor rather than a king. 'Your grace' for dukes (and possibly grand dukes, but again, that depends on nation. Grand Dukes in Russia are part of the royal family.), and 'your lord/ladyship' for everybody else.

While some nations might have specific titles, unless they say otherwise you're probably safe using those general guidelines. No doubt they will correct you if they want something specific ;)

Most officials from democratic/republican type governments, as well as communist ones, generally pretend to be equals, even when addressing obviously inferior states. Your president probably isn't going to call a fellow president "the ruler of the puny territory of Bobtopia" or something like that. Most states go with "Mr. President", "Mr. Secretary" or something like that, barring any noble titles.

Now, if your royal is addressing some lowly government peon, such as a president (or a royal you really, really, dislike), feel free to drop in all the we's and our's you desire. Further insult may be added by misuse of titles, refusing to use certain titles (for instance, my own Emperor of All Russias refuses to recognize that anybody else has a claim to the title 'Emperor of Rome'), and similar.

Further, some people have lots of fancy seals and images they like to throw in over their messages. My advice is to keep these small. Your crest might be very impressive, but it doesn't have to be a 900x900 monster. Something small is best.


The message

Politeness is generally the universal language of diplomacy, even in declarations of war. However, there ARE subtle ways of being rude, or at least tweaking somebodies international nose. However, even when being rude, certain conventions are observed. You don't find much swearing and suchlike in such messages, nor extremely detailed threats of violence, and usually not threats of personal violence to the receiver. Generalized threats of violence are, however, acceptable.

For instance, in the 19th century, Nicholas I of Russia threatened to raze Warsaw if the Poles kept acting up. This threat consisted of a single line in a six paragraph letter, the rest of which was mostly 'so shut up and be good little subjects, I swear to God I am tired of your silly little Polish antics.' In polite form. It's important to note that this was the end result of a 20 year rebellion against Russian rule, and that Nicky was not the sort of monarch who dealt lightly with rebels.

For example, you might wish to threaten a fellow state who you dislike, so you might initially be tempted to say something along the lines of...

If you don't put a stop to the goddamn hippies we're going to come over there and fuck you up.


While direct in getting your point across, this has a few issues, namely that it makes you look like a dick. And, of course, warmongering is frowned upon by certain parties, at least if you do it in an impolite manner. So it's best to cover your bases and issue some demands first before you start with the direct threats of violence.

...And so, if you do not immediately order the various hippie communes which have been set up along our border to be dismantled, we will be forced to take direct action against the border crossers and place further embargoes on the export of UV lights and fertilizer to your state...


So, most of your diplomatic letters should be worded with polite language, but you can be as demanding as you like otherwise ;)

In the case of royalty, you've got all sorts of different protocols and suchlike, however, there are a few conventions that are fairly universal. Firstly, royals tend to drop the use of the 'majestic plural' ("we" and "our" in reference to oneself) when speaking personally to other royals. Further, royals from a similar culture or region may address each other as 'cousin' regardless of whether or not they are related, it's basically a way of saying "my equal" without actually referring to somebody as such officially.

Non-royal diplomats tend to correspond in a fairly normal manner, albeit with polite language. Being diplomats, they most likely will use, at the very least, formal language to address their fellows. Diplomatese is something of a habit, and so they tend to find more subtle ways to be rude. Direct correspondence between presidents/general secretaries/supreme peoples commisars, will most likely, as above, be conducted as between equals, except in cases of demanding things as a result of war or suchlike. As an example...

As my fellow ruler will no doubt recognize, the presence of the counterculture communes along the Happyland-Eviltopia border provides a good alternative channel for our nation's chief exports, as well as giving us a wonderful opportunity for cultural exchange.


A royal, though, might want to appear to be the 'better' in these circumstances and thus can be a bit demeaning should they so choose, however, a lot of the time it's best to take the 'fellow national leader' route and at least be polite.

The End
As with the start, you have to consider who sent the letter. If it was the president, king, or otherwise the leader of your nation, you can go with the big fancy signature and all that. However, if it's the assistant secretary to the Chief Wardrobe Officers Junior Secretary, you might want to go a bit more humble.

On that note, do remember that it's unlikely that your national leader will respond to everything. Kings and presidents are busy people, and often have enough money to hire people to write letters for them. Thus, while a letter may be addressed from the Emperor of Eviltopia, it might not have been written by him. Usually you should come up with some way to distinguish this, for instance, in my own case, I append the (signed) in parenthesis to letters actually written by the Tsar, and leave them off when it was written by some secretary.

Even when not writing royal/presidential letters, you should remember who you are writing with. The Minister of Agriculture isn't going to respond to a letter from another states secretary of foreign affairs (unless it was specifically addressed to him, of course). Likewise, the king isn't going to respond directly to a letter from some random government official, unless he's an exceptionally enlightened monarch with views on equality and all that. Kings like to remain aloof, generally ;)


Anyway, that concludes my rambling little guide. Please note that this is intended as a rough guide, and is not definitive by any stretch of the imagination. Consider it a starting point to your future in writing good diplomatic letters ;)


Zykorinov's "[Proper National Message/Response]"

Original Topic
Zykorinov wrote:In regards to the amount of people who do not know how to make a good response to a declaration of war (or make a declaration themselves), or how to simply inform a nation that you will help them out (provide assistance), I have decided to come up with a nifty little example of a proper National Message and/or response:


[b]Alignment! -- In a good National Message, alignment is a very important factor. Try using the
[ align=center ]text[ /align ] tags (but don't include the spaces within) to center your text, and make it seem more official. This beats left-justified text.

Image
Nation Seal! -- You can't go wrong with a national seal. It makes the message look decisively more official. If you don't have a national seal, try to create your own! Or, you can ask someone (politely) to make you one, or just rip off a Real-Life nation's seal, like I did. Also, you can go to this site to make your own!

TO: Addressed Nation's Name, Group Being Addressed
FROM: Your Nation's Name, Ministry/Department/Leader of Your Nation
The To/From Lines! -- This is also a very important aspect of your message. It delegates who you are sending the message to (the "TO" line), and who/what department is sending it (the "FROM" line).


Greetings from The Republic of Zykorinov. It has come to our government's attention that your Nation has
<insert problem here, if there is one>. We request that you <insert request/demand here, if there is one>. Failure to comply with our demands, failure to respond to this message, or failure to seek an agreement regarding our demands, will result in <insert consequences here>.
The Body! -- The body is where the real business begins. Here, you list your grievances, requests, et cetera; basically whatever you are making your message for. This is, perhaps, the most important part of your message. Failure to write a good body can result in your requests being ignored.

Signed,
Image
Leader of Zykorinov
Closing Lines! -- The closing of your message is not extremely important, but it is where you the target Nation will look last. I, personally, include bold and italics tags to my closing lines, to give it a more official look. Normally, you should put a salutation (Signed, Regards, Thank You, et cetera), your Nation's leader (or the head of the Ministry/Department that is sending the message), and their position within your government. Also, you can obtain a signature (like mine) here


**So, there you have it. A workable format for any official message you desire. Whether it be a declaration of war, alliance, or some other matter. I hope this will help anyone new to NationStates, or curious about the RP etiquette that we have here. Thank you.**



Format #2 -- The Email...
[This one will be short and sweet.]

To: Recipient Nation
From: Your Nation

Encryption Status Check .... Loading Encryption .... Encryption Activated.

The body of the email should go here. Please see the "Formal" format, above, for tips on what to put in it.

Yours,
Your Nation

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 1:18 pm
by Ozymos
Yeah, the hippies are going to be most people's problem when they first arrive in II. Goddamn them! :lol:

Although it's been done before, this is arguably the better of the guides to writting a Diplomatic Message. Nice work.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:19 pm
by OMGeverynameistaken
It has? I must have missed the thread. Ah, well, more exposure for proper writing, then ;)

And yes, indeed, those hippies are always trouble. They're usually just shot on sight in the Russian Empire ;)

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:25 pm
by Satirius
Sticky this for the love of God.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:40 pm
by Astralsideria
To be honest, this post is because I want to be able to find this again. There's nothing I can say, it's just so awesome ^__^.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:50 pm
by Chazicaria
Good job

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:06 pm
by Ozymos
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:It has? I must have missed the thread. Ah, well, more exposure for proper writing, then ;)


Yeah, but it was a while ago now and has faded into obscurity. And like I said, this is much better.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:11 pm
by Fanaglia
Satirius wrote:Sticky this for the love of God.

This

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:29 pm
by Ozymos

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 3:53 pm
by Maltropia
Very good thread, incredibly helpful. Many thanks.


And yes, this deseres to be stickied. ;)

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 4:54 pm
by Rethan
<glorified tag>
Bravo! Sticky this! Ra-ra good fellow!
</glorified tag>

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 5:41 pm
by Techno-Soviet
Ozymos wrote:
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:It has? I must have missed the thread. Ah, well, more exposure for proper writing, then ;)


Yeah, but it was a while ago now and has faded into obscurity. And like I said, this is much better.


Oh yes, the one written by Stok? I remember that.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 5:48 pm
by Ozymos
Techno-Soviet wrote:
Ozymos wrote:
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:It has? I must have missed the thread. Ah, well, more exposure for proper writing, then ;)


Yeah, but it was a while ago now and has faded into obscurity. And like I said, this is much better.


Oh yes, the one written by Stok? I remember that.


Now that you mention it, I do remember one by Stok. Dunno where that is now. It didn't crop up whilst I was searching for that other one I mentioned.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:05 pm
by Jimanistan
Fine piece of work. Even I learned a few useful things... Sticky-worthy, by God.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:37 pm
by OMGeverynameistaken
Ozymos wrote:http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=24657&p=945347&hilit=Proper+National+Response#p945347

Found it. As I said, it was a long time ago now.

Huh. Interesting. I may have to PM the creator of that one and see if I can copy/paste his bit at the end, since it is a bit different.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:22 pm
by New Mysteria
Bumping this and repeating the call to sticky this. This is well done.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:25 pm
by Russkya
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:Huh. Interesting. I may have to PM the creator of that one and see if I can copy/paste his bit at the end, since it is a bit different.


Do so. Stok's a pretty good guy, shouldn't be a problem. It'll help un-fuck NS II, one more tool in the toolbox so to speak.

I agree with the repeated requests to sticky this thread. Has someone brought it to the mod's attentions or are we just hoping they come across it?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:52 pm
by Zeppy
Nice, great idea.
Call the mods to sticky!

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:00 pm
by Ozymos
Russkya wrote:
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:Huh. Interesting. I may have to PM the creator of that one and see if I can copy/paste his bit at the end, since it is a bit different.


Do so. Stok's a pretty good guy, shouldn't be a problem. It'll help un-fuck NS II, one more tool in the toolbox so to speak.

I agree with the repeated requests to sticky this thread. Has someone brought it to the mod's attentions or are we just hoping they come across it?


I never found Stok's. This was someone else's. But yes, these sorts of threads should contribute to the un-fucking of II.

Seconded. This could do with being stickied, if not incorporated into another sticky.

@OMG: I'm not sure if the OP of that thread is still active anymore, but i'd go ahead and ask anyway, and if you're getting no response just credit him where neccessary.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:06 pm
by Zeppy

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:36 pm
by OMGeverynameistaken
viewtopic.php?f=23&t=36617

A related topic for those who want to show off how to talk to people in their nation.

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:35 pm
by OMGeverynameistaken
Zykorinov responded positively, so I've added some copypasta from his topic on actual message formatting.

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:49 pm
by Zykorinov
Bravo, bravo. This trumps my own format, as it went into far more detail. This is more of a semi-format, majorly consisting of what to put into said format. But still, great job.

I do agree that this should be stickied.

[ @Oxymos: I don't get on much, anymore. IRL stuff and my recent re-addiction to the Xbox 360 are to blame. ]

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:13 pm
by Bryn Shander
OMGeverynameistaken wrote:You may also find that you have to talk to a nation MORE powerful than yourself, who you may possibly be just a teensy bit afraid of. In that case, something like...

Yeah, that'll be the day...

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:16 pm
by Auman
Diplomacy? That shit's for pussies. What you really got to do is not take any shit from no one. If a diplomat comes to your nation and starts talking like his opinion actually matters, put a couple of rounds into him. It works for me. Coolguyface.jpg

EDIT:

If you want an example of how men talk, I.E., engage in diplomacy, I think this is the best example I could find on the internet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43NrJ7WNq8g