Toolsbergian Public Broadcast!

by **Toolsbergia** » Sat Jul 25, 2015 7:29 pm

Erwin Frankhorst vs Bigots!

V.S.

Greetings righteous progressive citizens of Toolsbergia and other hopefully similar people's of the world! Tonight we bring you an epic death match!
As part of his initiative to wipe out conservativasm and bigotry Prime Minister Erwin Frankhörst will be challenging a serious of uneducated, ignorant hicks and nationalists, staring with Jim-boy from Texas USA.

Jim-boy thinks that LGBTQ is a "sin" and believes he has the right to vote against marriage equality. He also thinks that he should be allowed to own a gun so he can go on shooting sprees.
Prime Minister Frankhörst on the other hand, is well educated and disagrees with both of those points.

Right now, odds are estimated in favor of PM Frankhörst almost 10-1, as many feel his well-trained combat skills will triumph over Jim-boys inbred genes.
Stay tuned to watch the fight unfold!!!

Remember, Glorious Comade is monitoring all reactionary activity...

by **Ardoki** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:25 am

Erwin Frankhörst vs Bigots!

Cárthach Delaney: Hello, I'm Cárthach.

Moyna Kennedy: And I'm Moyna.

Both: We're lucky to be your commentators to the first instalment of Erwin Frankhörst vs Bigots! tonight.

Cárthach Delaney: It's set to be an exciting night.

Moyna Kennedy: Filled with blood, gore and sweat.

Cárthach Delaney: So Moyna, I'm really hoping that PM Frankhörst crushes the skull of Jim-Boy. I want to see, bone, blood, and brain matter flying everywhere!

Moyna Kennedy: I would prefer a more slow and painful death. I'm hoping that PM Frankhörst breaks every bone in Jim-Boy's body, gouges his eyes out, castrates him, then slowly mutilates him with a sharp object. He would eventually die of blood loss from his many painful wounds.

Cárthach Delaney: Moyna, you sure must be a fan of blood sports. For those watching back home in Ardoki, remember to comment on Setsuzoku about this epic death match.

Moyna Kennedy: So grab some popcorn and lemonade, and join us for this first instalment of wondrous conservative euthanasia.

by **Sebtopiaris** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:27 am

what the fuck

by **Ardoki** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:40 am

Sebtopiaris wrote:what the fuck

PM Frankhorst shall kill all the conservatives.

by **Overused Memes** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:42 am

For fuck's sake.

by **Ardoki** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:46 am

Stop spamming this thread with un-helpful OOC posts.

Toolsbergia will have to have them all deleted.

by **Toolsbergia** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 8:41 pm

OOC: Thank you Ardoki!
But now they get to see the smack-down!

The Epic Fight Begins!

Brijan: Hello everyone, I'm ace reporter Brijan Göbelof, and we are here narrating the battle between progress and failure!

Aleksa: And I'm Executive Minister of Tolerance Aleksa Von Baringar, and it looks like the fight is beginning!

Brijan: Okay, Jim-boy is coming out swinging with multiple punches. It appears PM Frankhörst is has dodged 1, 2, 3, 4 punches! Ohh Frankhörst just came up sharp with an undercut.

Aleksa: Jim-boy appears to be staggered by the strike! He's stumbling around, it looks like his inbred-genes can't handle the powerful blows of tolerance and acceptance!

Brijan: Yes ma'am, you can say that again! Oh wow look at that PM Frankhörst just unleashed a glorious roundhouse kick to Jim-boy. Jim-boy is down. Jim-boy is down!

Aleksa: Wait this fight isn't over yet, it looks like Jim-boy is getting up! It appears this redneck is ready for even more beating!

Brijan: Well that's the end of Round-1 and I'm gonna say PM Frankhörst definitely one this round; now we will take a short break and be back for Round-2!!!

Remember, Glorious Comade is monitoring all reactionary activity...

by **Toolsbergia** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:18 pm

OOC: Back and Bump!

by **Toolsbergia** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:03 pm

The fight continues. Jim-boy comes back swinging, but Frankhörst block his punches. Frankhörst then kicks Jim-boy in the side and knocks him to the ground.

Brijan:What a champ! Frankhörst seems invincible compared to this hillbilly!

"Your going to hell, queer-lover!" The redneck says as he gets back up and throw another missed punch at the Prime Minister.
"I'm bi you ignoramus! Eat progress!" He then does a double-punch knee-jab combo, and Jim-boy is flustered and dazed by the impact of Frankhörsts hit.
"Finish him! Finish him!" The crowd cheers.
PM Frankhörst rushes up to the beleaguered Jim-boy.
He removes his boxer glove..

Brijan: Oh my Darwin! He's going to do his famous Three-Finger Death Punch! It's really happening people! This is!

Aleksa: Looks like Jim-boy is about to learn there isn't afterlife. Stupid religious bigots...

Frankhörst then touches Jim-boy once in head, once in the torso, before jumping behind him and touching once on his back leg.
A loud "bang" rings out as Jim-boy's head explodes from the force of the Death Punch.

The crowd is silent for a second but the Prime Minister raises his glove in victory as the corpse of Jim-boy falls to the floor. Confetti falls down as the crowd goes wild in support of their leader.
Back in Texas, USA, Jim-boy's inbred family is mad their cousin is dead and write ignorant things on the internat.
Frankhörst has won the fight!

by **Guadalupador** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:56 pm

0230 Hours: Nosamo, Guadalupador. (11/8/2015)

Enrique Yanama was wide awake this late for the fifth night straight in a row. Recently, sleep hasn't come easy for the Grand Premier. He attributed it to his constant work. As his advisers and friends tried to convince him to see a doctor about his possible insomnia he would brush them off and continue to stay up all night and keep himself occupied with work, or with television. It was just one of those nights where he would flip through the channels on his satellite television, that he had bought himself. He liked flipping through the thousands of foreign channels, and watching television shows not normally seen in Guadalupador. As he channel surfed, he came across a Toolsbergian channel broadcasting some live fight. Wonder what's this all about... Enrique thought as he attempted to get invested in it. As the slightly familiar older man beat some poor sod, that apparently didn't know how to fight, he said some cheesy one-liners before the PM ends up killing the man, to the joy of the Ardokian commentators. "The Fuck Is THIS?!" Enrique yelled in shock, and disgust at what had happened in front of him. Yanama quickly changed the channel, and went on with his night.

by **Ardoki** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 11:14 pm

Cárthach Delaney: Jim-Boy is punching at Comrade Frankhörst.

Moyna Kennedy: But our Great Comrade is dodging. Wow...What a glorious roundhouse kick.

Cárthach Delaney: Jim-Boy is staggering. Oh no he didn't!

Moyna Kennedy: That little bitch has used intolerant slurs! Finish him PM Frankhörst!

Cárthach Delaney: What a brilliant combo from Comrade Frankhörst. Wait...Is this what I think it is?

Moyna Kennedy: It looks like he is going to use the Frankhörst Three-Finger Death Punch! Jackpot!

Both: Wow...Look at that Punch of Progress!

Moyna Kennedy: That is what happens to reactionary scum.