Grand Duke Jason Frost glared at his bedroom door. That had sounded like a knock, but he had requested that he not be interrupted except in an emergency. This had better be important, he thought before saying, "Come."
The door didn't open, but the maid lying beneath Jason said, "I'm trying to! It's not my fault you stopped."
Jason stood up, gave the maid an apologetic look and told her, "I swear, I'll make this up to you." Then he turned to the door. "I said get the fork in here! NOW!"
A nervous-looking young page opened the door and said, "I-I-I'm sorry, sir. I-I know you said not to interrupt..."
"Spit it out," Jason growled.
The page gulped, nodded and, with an extreme exertion of willpower, kept his eyes on his leader rather than the nude maid behind him. "Big problem, sir," he said. "Ships from New Nicksyllvania are approaching in an attack formation. I thoink we're being invaded."
Jason nodded. "You've done your country a noble service today, and you should be rewarded," he told the page. "Have you passed all your sex-ed courses?"
The page nodded.
"Then finish what I've started," Jason said. "Don't leave this room until she's completely satisfied." He got dressed quickly, then vanished into thin air.
Jason reappeared in the situation room. A group of military, political and diplomatic advisors was already in place. "What's going on, Sam?" he asked without preamble.
High Admiral Samuel Gillespie stood and activated a bank of monitors which clearly showed the enemy fleet approaching. "It's not the entire New Nicksyllvanian fleet," he said. "Either they've held ships in reserve, or only some of the lords are attacking us and the Emperor hasn't formally declared war yet."
Jason nodded. "Do we still enjoy naval superiority?" he asked.
Gillespie nodded. "We're slightly outnumbered, but their navy has a reputation for being the weak link of their armed forces. We should be able to inflict some damage out on the ocean. It's when the battle carries over to land that I'm worried about."
Jason thanked Gillespie for the information, then turned to his High General. "General Wansor, are your men ready?"
"Troops are scrambling right now," Magnus Wansor said. "They're being sent to high-priority locations first -- here at your palace, Embassy Row, you know the drill."
"Fighters have been scrambled as well," said Aurora Frost, the High Commander of the Aerospace Corps. "I should really be up there with them," she added in a mournful tone.
Jason nodded to his daughter. "Dismissed," he said. Aurora smiled her thanks, and bounced happily out of the room. Jason noted that she was already wearing her flight suit. He turned back to the others and said, "Have the troops on Embassy Row take advantage of the nearby terrain. We didn't just give those ambassadors views of the local rainforest because it's pretty. We can wage a full-scale guerrilla war from there. For that matter, somebody go make sure the plants in my garden are properly pissed off. They can add an extra line of security, especially the ones like Venomous Tentacula that are capable of locomotion." An aide got up, wand already in hand, and headed out of the room in the direction of the gardens.
"Speaking of Embassy Row, Milos is out warning all the foreign ambassadors of the impending attack right now," said Minister of War Roland Wansor, the High General's older brother. He was referring to Milos Ganush, the Minister of Foreign Affairs.
"Good," Jason said. "Recommendations, Roland?"
"Escalate to STD threat level. Since we're currently under active attack it makes sense to do so, it will keep our troops in far-flung locations likeArea Sixty-Nine that aren't under attack yet on high alert, and it'll let our allies who pay attention to such things know that we're in trouble."
"I'd rather not involve our allies," Jason said. "If we bring in allies then they'll bring in allies too, and we'll still be outnumbered."
"Bringing in our allies may be unavoidable," Director of Intelligence Bryan O'Noonan said. "If Milos is really up on Embassy Row right now telling the Dekerins that we're under attack, then it's no longer our choice whether allies involve themselves. We'll just have to wait and see what they do."
"Fair enough," Jason said. "Anything else?"
"We should have our fighters strafe their ships," Roland suggested. "If their navy is really weaker than ours, we can win this battle on the high seas. Inflict maximum damage out there, and they'll be demoralized by the time they get here. They might even retreat without a ground battle, if we hit their navy hard enough."
"What about the possibility of a blockade?" Jason asked. "We're an island nation, so it'd probably be easy to do."
"Not necessarily," High Admiral Gillespie said. "They'd need to outnumber us by a much greater margin. They've got more ships, but not so many that they could blockade us. Not at the moment, anyway."
"Another thing we need to consider is tech," Roland advised. "What level do they have, how much, and how well do they maintain it? Technology won't work right if you don't take care of it properly. This holds true even for old-school methods of killing... it's why you polish that sword of yours so often."
"You know, it really creeps me out when you watch me do that," Jason joked. Laughter swept across the room at the masturbation reference. "All right, I'm going to hang out here and help you guys coordinate things," the Grand Duke said. "If and when there's a ground battle, I'll join our troops on the front lines. Sam, tell your men to go all-out. If our strategy is going to work, we want them fighting like Ralkovians."
"So even crazier than usual, then?" Sam asked, grinning. Without waiting for a response, he started speaking into his comm, relaying the orders to the naval commanders about to engage the New Nicksyllvanian fleet. Everyone in the situation room seemed to hold their breath in anticipation.
Aurora Frost went through her preflight checks and announced her readiness to take off. Being in a cockpit again felt nearly as good as the night she had spent with that Zeltron woman last week. Zeltrons had to be the best lovers in the entire multiverse.
"Nice to see you still know how to fly, Polaris," a voice from the control tower snarked from her cockpit's comm speakers, referring to her by her call sign.
Aurora switched to a private channel so she could communicate with the woman in the control tower without being overheard. "Lyona, is that you?" she asked.
"One and the same," the voice replied. "They're not going to let me leave this job until I'm dead."
"You could just retire, you know," Aurora said. You would never know it from looking at her, but Lyona was nearing sixty years of age... she had put her time in.
"And miss out on seeing you fly again? I've got a hundred guilders that says you crash and burn."
"You're on," Aurora said. "And if I have an ace mission, you have to do whatever I want for a week." An ace was a pilot with five or more career kills... an ace mission was a single flight in which a pilot scored five or more kills. Aurora had had six ace missions during her career... she was fairly confident there was another one left in her. As her fighter lifted from the ground and moved toward the approaching enemy ships, the conversation died down and Aurora switched back to the open comm channel so she could talk to other pilots in the formation if she needed to. This was going to be fun.
