International Tezdrian News Network.

[Tezdrian]

This a thread dedicated to all news that takes place in The Somalia of NS. This thread will be updated as needed with news articles about Tezdrianian goings on.

[Tezdrian]

War Declared on The Federation of Malakian Principality

This action has officially been classified as a "Military Combat Exercise" for "Intolerable Socialist Leanings." More info will be included shortly.

[Tezdrian]

Empress Tan seeking to Adopt

Empress Tan, being unable to produce children due to a rare fertility defect, is seeking to adopt a "Child of Noble Birth." Anyone interested may contact the Empress herself. The only conditions are that the child must be female, and no older then 7.

[Tezdrian]

bump

[Malakian Principality]

Empress Tan seeking to Adopt

Empress Tan, being unable to produce children due to a rare fertility defect, is seeking to adopt a "Child of Noble Birth." Anyone interested may contact the Empress herself. The only conditions are that the child must be female, and no older then 7.

From: Direktor, Baba Ganush, of Malakia

To whom it may concern:
I, Direcktor Baba Ganush, have a proposal for Empress Tan, the benevolent leader of The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian. In sight of the recent declaration of war against my country, I Baba Ganush, offer you, the Deserving Empress Tan, my first born. With the thought of your massive army bearing down on the gates of Malakia, it is with sadness, but wisdom, that I offer you my small child, only of the age of 2 years. Her name is Sarku, and she has the gentlest of eyes, and is in perfect health.

With this adoption, we hope that amends can be made between Malakia and The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian, so that both of our nations can avoid the devastation of war, and continue or peaceful existences.

Our small nation as a whole waits for your response, in deep prayer that our homeland may stay sovereign.

Honorably,
DireKtor, Baba Ganush

[Daemonicai]

Empress Tan seeking to Adopt

Empress Tan, being unable to produce children due to a rare fertility defect, is seeking to adopt a "Child of Noble Birth." Anyone interested may contact the Empress herself. The only conditions are that the child must be female, and no older then 7.

From: Direktor, Baba Ganush, of Malakia

To whom it may concern:
I, Direcktor Baba Ganush, have a proposal for Empress Tan, the benevolent leader of The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian. In sight of the recent declaration of war against my country, I Baba Ganush, offer you, the Deserving Empress Tan, my first born. With the thought of your massive army bearing down on the gates of Malakia, it is with sadness, but wisdom, that I offer you my small child, only of the age of 2 years. Her name is Sarku, and she has the gentlest of eyes, and is in perfect health.

With this adoption, we hope that amends can be made between Malakia and The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian, so that both of our nations can avoid the devastation of war, and continue or peaceful existences.

Our small nation as a whole waits for your response, in deep prayer that our homeland may stay sovereign.

Honorably,
DireKtor, Baba Ganush

An official message is sent to Malakia.

Dear Direktor Baba Ganush,

The Grand Imperium of Daemonicai bids you not to be afraid or give up what is yours. 'Empress' Tan is a boderline psychotic woman who's country was better off as a republic. This so-called empire that the hag claims to have is non-existent, as her country was divided up between nations as part of a war the idiot wench caused. A small contingent of Tezrian forces had only managed to take a small western part of the occupation zones, just below the territory that the Grand Imperium owns. No-one hassled them, as they were a generally insignificant place. The new Provisional Republic of Tezdrian was doing very well until Tan re-appeared and drove her already battered nation into yet another war. We will help protect you if the need arises. Tezdrian is an unstable, minute country that has MANY enemies. People who are willing to take any excuse to grab the last of the independant Tezdrian land and annihalate its people. We were on good terms once. But with the return of this madwoman, those relations are looking a little shaky.

From High Chancellor Charles Daemonicai of the Grand Imperium of Daemonicai

[Tezdrian]

Empress Tan seeking to Adopt

Empress Tan, being unable to produce children due to a rare fertility defect, is seeking to adopt a "Child of Noble Birth." Anyone interested may contact the Empress herself. The only conditions are that the child must be female, and no older then 7.

From: Direktor, Baba Ganush, of Malakia

To whom it may concern:
I, Direcktor Baba Ganush, have a proposal for Empress Tan, the benevolent leader of The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian. In sight of the recent declaration of war against my country, I Baba Ganush, offer you, the Deserving Empress Tan, my first born. With the thought of your massive army bearing down on the gates of Malakia, it is with sadness, but wisdom, that I offer you my small child, only of the age of 2 years. Her name is Sarku, and she has the gentlest of eyes, and is in perfect health.

With this adoption, we hope that amends can be made between Malakia and The Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian, so that both of our nations can avoid the devastation of war, and continue or peaceful existences.

Honorably,
DireKtor, Baba Ganush

Empress Tan to Adopt a Malakian Child!!!!

Empress Tan has announced today, that she is going to adopt a 2 yr. old Malakian Child. She says she will finalize the adoption after pictures of the child are sent to her.

Our small nation as a whole waits for your response, in deep prayer that our homeland may stay sovereign.

[Daemonicai]

The High Chancellor writes a letter to Queen Tan.

Dear Queen Tan of the Constitutional Monarchy of Tezdrian,

I am writing to you to inform you that waging another war in this short period after the collapse of Old Tezdrian is in-advisable. Attacking newly-emerged nations is frowned upon by most nations and Tezdrian still has an abundance of enemies. We advise you not to lead your country into another war, seeing as the last one proved disastrous for it. The last one, you lost your empire and much of your country, in another one, or a strings of new ones, you could be wiped off of the map for good. Think of your battered people. Haven't they suffered enough already?

Yours Sincerely, High Chancellor Charles Daemonicai of the Grand Imperium

[Tezdrian]

Code: Select all

Code Level Encryption 9
High Chancellor, I only said that to gain publicity. Everything has come out OK, and now I have a new Heiress out of the deal.

[Daemonicai]

Code: Select all

Code Level Encryption 9
High Chancellor, I only said that to gain publicity. Everything has come out OK, and now I have a new Heiress out of the deal.

The High Chancellor sent another reply.

Dear Queen Tan of the Constitual Monarchy of Tezdrian,

Somehow, I doubt you will get his daughter. If you trully want an heir, you can invest in our nation. We have extremely advanced technology. We invest heavily on genetics, and have almost perfected medical cloning. I propose a program were you can help invest in the cloning of an heir for your throne. We need a genetic sample of you or your husband or partner. Do you want a male or female?

Yours Sincerely, High Chancellor Charles Daemonicai of the Grand Imperim of Daemonicai

OOC: Is Tan married? Also, I roleplay advanced PMT if you're wondering.

[Tezdrian]

Code: Select all

Encryption Level 1313
First of all, let me thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would be thrilled to invest in your technology, and finally have a son. The program shall start immediately. I shall send you DNA samples from myself, and Prince Qatark, my fiancee.

[Daemonicai]

Dear Queen Tan, leader of the Constitual Monarchy of Tezdrian

This will be a great thing. The first ever human to be cloned. Your child will have that honour. The diferences that he will inherit from the DNA of you and your fiancee will make him as though you concieved him through normal pro-creation. Also, please note that, in this type of cloning, when the embryo starts to develope, you will have to take it, have it attached to you placenta in your womb and give birth to him like a normal mother. We have developed a drug that will prepare your body for pregnancy, so it will react to the embryo normally and develope a hospitable environment. I hope you are okay with this. Thankyou for the DNA samples. We expect a successful embryo to be formed in about to weeks. You will have to journey over here beforehand to revieve the necessary drugs and preparations and wait until the two weeks to recieve the embryo in your womb. We have run millions upon millions of simulations and this cloning will be successful with no birth defects.

Yours Sincerely, High Chancellor Charles Daemonicai of the Grand Imperium of Daemonicai

[Malakian Principality]

From: Direktor, Baba Ganush, of Malakia

It appears that Malakia has emerged from a potentially devastating situation with incredible luck, and a new ally to be indebted to. I myself am incredibly grateful that Sarku may remain with her people, her country, and her father, and that Empress Tan will also receive the joy of her own child.

Malakia will celebrate this occasion with a week free of labor, feasting, and a statue built in honor of our savior nation, Daemonicai. The statue will be erected in Grand Malakian Park, in the capital city of Greil. I, Baba Ganush dutifully wait for a picture of the image that will be immortalized in honor of this great occasion.

We give our best wishes to Empress Tan, hoping that her pregnancy is healthy and successful, and my nation is also indebted to Daemonicai, who our people would die for, as a symbol of the brotherhood created today.

With Great Sincerity and Honor,
Direktor Baba Ganush

[Malakian Principality]

From: Baba Ganush, Direktor of Malakia
Tezdrian still a Belligerent Nation

The following are several Telegrams from the Dishonorable Nation of Tezdrain:
1.)Empress Tan still demands the child.
2.)If you do not give her up,The Federation of Malakian Principality will be annihilated
3.)The slave trade has boosted our army considerably. Our army boasts 35 million men, and we have nukes. Give up the kid, or die.

It has come to the attention of my country that Tezdrian still demands ownership of my child, despite promises from the Almighty Nation
of Daemonicai to genetically clone a child for Empress Tan. Naturally, Malakia has now withdrawn its once desperate move to give up its favorite daughter, assuming that Empress Tan would no longer insist on invading Malakia, now satisfied with her impending pregnancy.

Unfortunately, this is not the case, and rather than back away from aggressive sanctions, Tezdrian has threatens Malakia with a staggering force of 35,000,000 men (OOC: **cough** god-mod **cough**), and the threat of nuclear annihilation.

Malakia is willing to swear allegiance to any nation will to help maintain its mountain top sovereignty.

Sincerely and Honorable,
Direktor Baba Ganush

[Allemande]

The United States of Allemande pledges its full support for Melakia in the event of a war with Tezdrain. If you wish, we will dispatch a military liaison team to begin going over the logistical arrangements necessary for this. In particular, we will want access to a least one major airfield with 1200m runways as close to sea level as you can manage; this will be used by our air transports and strategic bombers.

As for Tezdrian, Allemande would like to remind Madame Tan that a state of war still technically exists between us following the cease-fire that ended day-to-day hostilities in our previous conflict. For that matter, we don't even recognize Tezdrian as a sovereign state, nor do we recognize Madame Tan as that so-called "nation's" ruler. We would remind the Tezdrians that, after watching their misbehavior on the Island of Hyskos, in East Dorzhabad, and at home, we have very little patience for any further hijinx.

tl&dr: Back off Tezdrian, or else.

[Malakian Principality]

From: Baba Ganush, Direktor of Malakia

Once more, I bid many thanks to Malakia's new-found comrades, the most recent of which is The United States of Allemande. Malakians all over Malakia now know that hospitality and honor can still be found on this planet - with our new comrades leading this meritorious example.

To be on the safe side, I would appreciate a relatively small force to bolster our defenses in the event of an unlikely Tezdrian invasion.

However, there is an issue with the 1200m runways you requested. Sea Level doesn't exist in Malakia, as our flag suggests, but we do have a commercial airport with two 1100m runways available, located at 1558m above sea level. Currently we are retro-fitting them for your use, and they'll be ready in a weeks time. However, we suggest that you first speak to several Malakian cargo pilots before you attempt to challenge the High Peaks of Yao Kao Ku yourself, as the mountains have distinct wind patterns that, while relatively simple, can overwhelm even the mot sophisticated aircraft.

For any additional information on Malakias topography, or national status, feel free to wire me anytime.

The people of Malakia, have sworn allegiance to your land, and will die to aid you, our brethren, at any time. In honor of this day, a week of feasting has been declared, and a statue erected in Grand Malakian Park in Greil, our capital city.

With Great Sincerity and Honor,
Direktor Baba Ganush

[Allemande]

Until this crisis is over, we will dispatch a short division (our 17th) of mountain troops and an airborne brigade (our 26th) reinforced with air cavalry and a special forces battalion. Considering the mountainous nature of your country's terrain, this should be more than sufficient to slow any Tezdrian attack until further reinforcements can arrive

Assuming that your nation is landlocked, two questions arise:

• You do not share a common land border with Tezdrian, so how are they planning on getting to your county?
  
  
• With whom do we have to arrange overflight rights to reach your nation?

[Malakian Principality]

From: Baba Ganush, Direktor of Malakia

My nation thanks you very much for your impending support. And i will willing answer your pending inquiries.

1.) Quite frankly, my aides and myself are not entirely sure as to how Tezdrian might invade, because to reach our nation, they'd have to march inland over various regions and nations, and then still try to enter Malakia through on of the two passes that leads through the mountains. However, when a country of 402 million threatens to invade and use nuclear armaments, you tend to flinch a little and start to prepare for anything that could be messy. That is why we raised the alarm. Our best guess was an aerial invasion, but even then, if our mountains didn't get them, our AAA would.

2.) The countries that that surround Malakia until open water is reached are:

- The Armed Republic of Jaffathos
- The Sultanate of Salawat

Both nations are inoffensive in nature (despite the forename of Jaffathos) and will be informed of your military over flights, so that they may not be alarmed. I have wired them directly to make sure there are no accidents, and I have been assured by them that your planes will fly freely over their countries, to Malakia.

With Great Sincerity and Honor,
Direktor Baba Ganush

[Allemande]

Thank you for that information. We will begin airlifts immediately in order to place the proper military forces in your country to forestall an invasion. We would also advise your neighbors to place their forces on alert as well; if Tezdrian wanted to invade, they would almost certainly have to occupy either or both countries in order to do so.

As for Madame Tan, I trust that this lays to rest any hope of adventures in the High Peaks of Yao Kao Ku. You have been warned.

[Brewdomia]

OOC: Ah, Tezdrian how many people besides me are you fighting?

[Tezdrian]

A message of Apology to The Malakian Principality

I must sincerely apologize to Baba Ganush, Direktor of Malakia, for Her Majestys threats. She has suffered a Demented Breakdown, and is delirious at the moment. She is currently taking medication, and wishes to apologize.

Sincerely,
Head Assemblyman Silvannus.

[Malakian Principality]

From: Baba Ganush, Direktor of Malakia

This apology is accepted. May all nations involved in this international incident now go on their separate, peaceful ways.

With Great Sincerity and Honor,
Direktor Baba Ganush