Dark Harvest II: War Hawks With Frickin' Lasers [ATTN DH1]

[TurtleShroom]

OOC: This is a wrap up of the unbelivably successful Dark Harvest RP extravaganza, and its spinoff, Cupcakes.

---

It is very rare for a nation to survive such immense feats of war without a scratch. In one month, TurtleShroom saw a self-coup by its own military against a popular, but fatally controversial, attempt to cement the anti-Ponyist stance of TurtleShroom.

-but now the Dark Harvest was repealed and the nation did what is so expected from desert nations and tropical jungle banana republics the world over. Blood was spilt in the Dark Harvest, and the lives of a great military commander and numerous innocents were claimed. The military exterminated the Senators that produced the Dark Harvest, and Bathsheba Questira, the pioneer of the executive part of the act, was found in a roadside ditch shortly after the military coup d'etat. (She apparently escaped military custody and died in the desert. :? )


Threats were exchanged and sabers rattled. Words were shot and all seemed to be closing in on the backwater mess that was TurtleShroom. Haters of democracy expressed their disdain and suggested removal of a flawed system, and lovers of the same condemned fundies electing fundies. The ponies were no help; expelling all one million plus of them was possibly the most annoying public works act ever done.

Even now, the citizenry, settling back into their normal lives as a transitionary council convenes until the new Chancellors are coronated (the Regency having been suspended under the previous martial law), the general polls show spiking, increasing despisal and bad blood with the ponies.

Ponies have begun receiving the blame of the war, like when Urminastan threatened total death. Entities like Ctan did not receive this treatment, though that may be because the Necrons' betrayal of the TS forces was classified for the next fifty years.
Yellow Apple received praise and respect, while Urmanian took Nicksylvania's former "honor" as a nation of pure evil.

Comrade Commissar proved its greatness to the TurtleShroomian government, and there was mutual agreement that a permament alliance would be most fitting for the two countries. It was an odd alliance spanning racial and ideological grounds, but the two nations had kept each other's back, and the two had exchanged tourists, residents, and trade without harm and at great benefits.


-but that really wasn't the real reason of all this sequel.

---

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
TRANSITIONARY COUNCIL

&

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
ARMED FORCES
JUNTA

TO ALL BELLIGERENT NATIONS IN THIS DEBACLE:

IN THE DAYS TO COME, TURTLESHROOM WILL BE SIGNING PEACE TREATIES TO OFFICIALLY END THE WARS DECLARED ON HER BY ALL PARTICIPANTS IN THIS CHAOS, EXCEPT URMANIAN, WITH WHOM WE HAVE DRAFTED AN ARMSTICE.

THE FINAL MEANS OF TRANSITION WILL BE CARRIED BY TURTLESHROOM'S INTERNAL MEASURES, BUT FOLKS SHOULD TAKE THAT UP WITH TRANSISTOR JEBIDIAH T. ENDUH, FEDERAL BUREAUCRACY BOARD CHAIRMAN.

THE TIME FOR PEACE AS ARRIVED, AND IN THE DAYS AHEAD, EACH OF YOUR NATIONS WILL HAVE A REPRESENTATIVE DISPATCHED TO TURTLESHROOM, WHERE A PEACE TREATY WILL BE CRAFTED AND AN ARMSTICE SIGNED WITH URMANIAN.

EXPECT OTHER TURTLESHROOMER LETTERS IN THE TIME TO COME.


-ALL OF US

{OOC: There'll be more to this than you think. I'll write the next part sometime next weak. Until then, all of you who played the Dark Harvest should TAG this immeiately!}

[Urmanian]

[The Ctan]

Your terms are unacceptable, war with the Greater Pony Herd is war with the Necrontyr Empire. We also have no diplomats available to visit your nation and suggest that you visit us should you wish to discuss this matter. We suggest sending a Turtle, we are amused by them.

~ Ien Engrhar, International Department, Central Bureaucracy of the C'tan

[TurtleShroom]

Your terms are unacceptable, war with the Greater Pony Herd is war with the Necrontyr Empire. We also have no diplomats available to visit your nation and suggest that you visit us should you wish to discuss this matter. We suggest sending a Turtle, we are amused by them.

~ Ien Engrhar, International Department, Central Bureaucracy of the C'tan

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
UPPER LEVEL DIVISIONS
BUREAUCRAT

CTAN:

With over five billion creatures, you can't send ONE to us? How in the world is that even possible?
No matter. The reason Urmanian is getting an Armstice and everyone else is receiving a peace treaty is because of the treatment of citizens from 'enemy nations' or nations we are technically at war with.

You see, we didn't actually declare war on Urmanian, but they very nearly did on us. They openly called for our total destruction and had set in place the ability to destroy us and sew salt onto our lands, completely eradicating TurtleShroom, everything in it, and probably even nuking us for good measure. They possess a death ray and are more than willing to use it!

We recently faced a plague of locusts that thirsted for blood instead of crops, and while the intelligence that wasn't eaten points to internal pony rebel factions, we're suspecting that Urmanian, at the least, bankrolled the plot.
Urmanian is too dangerous a threat to have normal relations with. We have to maintian the state of readiness and altered status of it and its citizenry that only a war, declared or undeclared, can bring, so that we can speedily and fully combat any potential Greater Herd attack without pesky, time consuming 'normal channels' of handling it, such as trial by civilian court or needing a warrant to wiretap and monitor. (However, we could possibly extend military tribunal jurisdiction to all ponies, but that's risky.)

Urmanian has an open desire to destroy TurtleShroom. We can not make true peace with them because of this. That is why we're only signing an Armstice: it'd cease all battles and hostilities, but would technically keep us both at war to maintain the emergency procedures needed to expedite and prevent attacks from covert operations.

As a nation that once experienced many enemies and threats, we hope you can understand why all of you get a Peace Treaty, while Urmanian gets an Armstice.


Thank you.
-BUREAUCRAT ON BEHALF OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM

[The Ctan]

We are concerned by this and wish to discuss this matter with you further. Please dispatch a negotiating group to our city of Isasrach to communicate with us on this matter. We are interested in the proposal you make of a separate peace, and the charge you levy against our glorious allies in the GPH. On a technical note, Urmanian of course, does not exist. Urmanian is an unhappened realm. Only the Herd exists. The Herd is the ally of the Necrontyr Empire. War with the Herd is War with the Necrontyr Empire.

[Ende]

I wasn't in the last one but I'm interested. Tag, maybe?

[TurtleShroom]

NATIONSTATES
DARK HARVEST PEACE TREATY

Treatise Pen, Inc.:
Guarenteed to broker peace and punish harshly
or your money back!

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
ARMED FORCES
CONSTITUTIONAL-LEVEL BINDING PEACE TREATY

The Military Committees and Junta of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom, under whose auspices the country is under at the time of Ratification;

The peoples of the Eternal Necron Empire of the Ctan;

The supranational oversight and unified delegations on behalf of the United Provinces of the Nuclear Stratocracy of Comrade Commissar;

The Republic of Margate - Witness;

The Peoples’ Great Socialist Huangdiist Teikoku Empire of Greater Imperial Japanese Dystopia;

The Pony Republic of Hippostania;

The United States of Allanea – Witness;

The Absolute Royal Federation of Imerita – Witness;

The Unitary Republic of Lykosia;

The United Dinosaur States of Saurisia – Witness;


CONVINCED of the success of the complete removal of the attempted genocide of sentient horses- the “Dark Harvest” –and all of its advocates and allies;

REAFFIRMING the fact that mass slaughter of these creatures is not in the interests or the will of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom;

DESIRING to bring to an end the state of war between them and to establish a peace in which every state in the area can live in security;

HEREBY AGREE to the following provisions in the free exercise of their sovereignty, in order to implement the “Peace Treaty Ending the Dark Harvest and All Hostilities Against TurtleShroom”.



ARTICLE I

The state of war between the Parties will be terminated and peace will be established between them upon the exchange of instruments of ratification of this Treaty.

All forces from all nations shall withdraw themselves from TurtleShroom, unless TurtleShroom specifically authorizes them to remain for support purposes.

Upon completion of the withdrawal, the parties will establish normal and friendly relations, in accordance with the norms of each country, applicable international law, and this Treaty.

The Parties agree that the normal relationship established between them will include full recognition, diplomatic, economic and cultural relations, termination of barriers to the free movement of people and goods, and will guarantee the mutual enjoyment by citizens of the due process of law.



ARTICLE II

All parties recognize, in particular:

They recognize and will respect each other's sovereignty, territorial integrity and political independence;

They recognize and will respect each other's right to live in peace within their secure and recognized boundaries;

Each Party undertakes to ensure that acts or threats of belligerency, hostility, or violence do not originate from and are not committed from within its territory, or by any forces subject to its control or by any other forces stationed on its territory, against the population, citizens or property of the other Party.
Each Party also undertakes to refrain from organizing, instigating, inciting, assisting or participating in acts or threats of belligerency, hostility, subversion or violence against the other Party, anywhere, and undertakes to ensure that perpetrators of such acts are brought to justice.


ARTICLE III

TurtleShroom hereby agrees to treat this Article on a level equal to their own Constitution, enforceable fully by their courts and by all manners of law in their nation, according to the text as follows:
1. The following shall permanently be considered crimes in TurtleShroom.
a. Whosoever shall voluntarily and intentionally exact physical harm to the body any horse, with the intent of pain, shall be put to death if convicted in a court of law.

b. Whosoever brings a sentient horse under involuntary servitude, except as punishment in the form of penal labor as sentenced by the due process of law, shall be put to death if convicted in a court of law.[I]

c. [I]Whosoever advocates a return of the Dark Harvest or the genocide of sentient horses shall be arrested for violation of this treaty and subjected to a penalty no less than twenty years of prison, and up to and including the sentence of death in a court of law.[I]

d. [I]The sale, consumption, trade, usage, production, distribution, and otherwise existence of any meat or flesh, edible or otherwise, made of or from any horse shall be forbidden in TurtleShroom. Whosoever is caught willingly stockpiling, consuming, or trafficking illegal horsemeat shall be put to death if convicted in a court of law.

e. Further Amendments to the Constitution of TurtleShroom will be proposed and ratified by the Pony Rights Commission of TurtleShroom (as specified in Article III, section 2) and the military of TurtleShroom.



2. To facilitate obedience to this Treaty, a Pony Rights Commission of TurtleShroom, consisting of five members appointed from Urmanian, two members appointed each from Hippostania and Ctan, and one member appointed each from TurtleShroom, Allanea, and Comrade Commissar.

a. The Commission shall oversee, command, and regulate a segment of TurtleShroomer police with national jurisdiction to pursue, prosecute, and capture perpetrators of crimes against this Treaty, in any way they see fit.

b. The officers, addressed as Reapers, shall need not a warrant to perform any task of arrest, detainment, monitoring, or other police powers.

c. The Reapers shall answer exclusively to the Joint Commission, and police power exercised may be vetoed by no TurtleShroomer power.

d. The nine Aldermen of the Commission shall have full command of the Reapers to perform any power vested to them by this Treaty without mercy and without a need of permission.

e. No TurtleShroomer shall interfere with the conduct of the Reapers or infringe their ability to dispense their authorities in this Treaty, and violations shall applicably be prosecuted in a court of the choosing of the Commission.

f. The Commission shall only be permitted to enforce and prevent the crimes described in this Treaty, and no expansion of their power may be approved without assent of the TurtleShroomer Congress and rulers as applicable to their Constitution.

g. Pony Rights Commission Aldermen are hereby exempt from TurtleShroomer prosecution, but may be tried in the Steele Pact Court of Arbitration or a national court under jurisdiction of one of the Parties.

h. Whosoever brings intentional, voluntary physical harm to an Alderman of the Pony Rights Commission shall be put to death.

i. Further Amendments to the Constitution of TurtleShroom will be proposed and ratified by the Pony Rights Commission of TurtleShroom (as specified in Article III, section 2) and the military of TurtleShroom.



ARTICLE IV

TurtleShroom hereby agrees to treat this Article on a level equal to their own Constitution, enforceable fully by their courts and by all manners of law in their nation, according to the text as follows:

1. Effective immediately, the Occupying Sacred Junta of TurtleShroom is absolved.

2. Effective immediately, the enforcement of Article Four Chapter Four Section Two of the Constitution of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom shall be ceased and the Regency dissolved. The Junta shall forcibly amend the Constitution to outlaw the Regency and determine a new means for overseeing matters of state in the vacancy of their throne.

3. Effective immediately, the entire Congress of TurtleShroom shall be dissolved, and all five hundred seats be put up for re-election, the new Congress taking power no later than December in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Twelve. Surviving incumbents shall be permitted to run again for their seats, and parties and coalitions not related to the Dark Harvest shall be allowed to exist without hindrance.

4. Effective immediately, the military of TurtleShroom shall crown the Chancellors so named in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Eleven, and they shall resume the usual Constitutional authorities vested to them as if the Dark Harvest had not previously occurred.

5. Effective immediately, the number of TurtleShroomer Senators to constitute a Quorum of Congress shall be raised from one hundred one to four hundred. The Junta shall forcibly amend the Constitution to raise this number.


ARTICLE V

Each nation ratifying this Treaty shall do so by the usual method of treatise ratification, as they see fit.

TurtleShroom shall ratify this Treaty by assent of the Military Junta, the ratification being its final act.

Between the transition from the Junta to the Chancellery, the government shall operate “headless”, with Congress dissolved and the old laws being enforced by the Executive Cabinet.

-SIGNED IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND TWELVE,

X –
-- FOUR STAR GENERAL TECUMSEH DUKEM
-- FOUR STAR GENERAL SHERMAN DUKEM
-- THREE STAR GENERAL BENEDICT HERALD
-- THREE STAR GENERAL ROBINSON FARMER


-

[TurtleShroom]

This the "Zim Belt". It is the area where the lawmakers that proposed a mass genocide on all sentient horses- the infamous "Dark Harvest" -were located. As part of the undoing of the Dark Harvest, the military summarily executed those who voted for it and razed the houses of those who took up arms to defend their legislators' choices, which they supported.

The people who just lost all their property were rightfully infuriated, so they left their deserts, swamps, and forested homes and went deep into the jungle to rebel. They are now various militias and guerilla rebels bent on punishing the government for its actions and for not holding its ground, alledging that the "wussy" government "coddled the cloppers", as the derogative term for ponies and Ponyists goes.

The green on the map denotes the Zim Belt and where anti-government extremists arisen from the Harvest are thought to reside. The dark green were the original Congressional Districts where the DH writers hailed from.

[The Ctan]

Transmission Source: Assistant Secretary Jack Snipe of the War Department of the Central Bureaucracy of the Necrontyr Empire.
Destination: The Generals of the Turtleshroom Junta
Subject: Your peace treaty proposal
Security: Unencrypted

The Master of the War Department has appointed me to be your liason, I am not entirely sure I liked the way he did this, stating that I was best suited to speak to you directly because of my madness. I am proud of my madness but I may have to start cultivating another vice if it continues to affect my work like this. Perhaps I should start smoking? Anyway...

While we cannot really say with certainty that a separate peace could never happen, we can say that we will never betray our allies. It is beyond your abilities, no matter how highly you think of yourself, to conclude a separate peace with us. The only time we would be at peace with you when you remain committed to a state of inactive war with the Greater Pony Herd would be if the Herd and ourselves were to have some disagreement. We find this unlikely, given how popular the Herd is here, having recently been honored with a full state visit to ourselves, a distinction no other state has been granted in recent times. We are not Iesusians, this perfidity is beyond us. Allies that stand with us may know that we will stand with them until the sun burns out and beyond.

Your terms are rejected, and rejected utterly.

Additionally, as the Necrontyr Empire and Turtleshroom are at war, we will be ordering a force of mercenaries and necron troops to enter your territory and engage with the rebels in your 'Zim belt' you seen unable to suppress in short order, if you resist our forces in any way, you will be fired upon.

Should you wish peace with us and for us to respect your territorial sovereignty, our requirement is simple...

Make peace with the Herd.

P.S. Necrontyr is the demonym, and the formal title of the nation. Necron is a sub-set of Necrontyr. Necrontyr are the species and the civilization derived in large part from their culture, Necrons those who have undergone conversion into and remain as, mechanical life forms.

[Ende]

OFFICIAL COMMINIQUE FROM THE COLONY OF ENDE

Encryption: None
Subject: To the Zim Belt
Destination: Leaders of the Zim Belt

I, Rafael, Hivelord of the Colony of Ende applaud your success in driving the filth that is ponyism from your empire! Though you did not kill them, members of the Zim Belt, you have purged them from your country. Despite this, your fellow humans have looked down on you, and you are now at war with your own people. However, there is a reason we are aiding you, instead of the Junta. You have supplied us with food when we have had none. You were quick to join us! You have allied with us, when others were suspicious. May you live in splendor, Turtleshroomers of the Zim Belt, and may our alliance continue further!

Keep filling our stomachs with supplies, and we shall protect you from any threats that may come your way. The meddling Necrontyr will find themselves lying in a ditch, bleeding their lives out when we are finished with them. Despite their high technology, they seem to view themselves as gods! They seem to think that they can do however they wish! We shall stomp on their throats, crush their bones, drink their blood, and use their bodies to pave our roads! We shall rip their hearts from their chests! We shall utterly destroy all of them!

...if you supply us, frail humans.

So hear this, leaders of the Zim Belt! We have many vehicles coming to aid you, both above the earth and under. They shall arrive to aid you. We shall send many of these back with supplies...and you had best cooperate...but if you do, we shall fill your blockades with soldiers. The might of the Endrenian Empire knows no bounds! Our bullets will pierce the hearts of all who oppose you! So hear us, leaders of the Zim Belt, cooperate with us, and rejoice!

-Hivelord Rafael

[TurtleShroom]

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
ZIM BELT RECONSTRUCTION ZONE
GOVERNOR GENERAL OF THE ZIM BELT
COMMUNIQUE

TO CTAN:

Ctan, handling the Zim Belt guerilla network is our job. We, the military committe of the Zim Belt Martial Reconstruction Zone, have dissolved civilian order and are maintaining full martial law over the dark green of the map. Habeus corpus has been suspended and we patrol the streets to protect civilians from the insurgents.

The police and military of TurtleShroom are more than capable of countering petty rebels in the Zim Belt and beyond. We have tens of thousands of guerillas in our dense jungles and even more waves of rogue bandits in the deserts, most of them foreign and doing service to drug cartels. We have kept them at bay and have not had a civilian casualty in almost twenty years.

Our ability to effectively handle tens of thousands of new rebels stems from our world-class Police Ratio. We have more police than two times the current rebel factions' entire membership.

Furthermore, your actions against the Zim Belt insurgents would be in vain at best, because most of the guerillas reside in the deepest parts of the forest that have never actually been mapped. Entire villages of these rebels, organized and supplied by the drug cartels, have been found largely deserted (insiders having infiltrated us time and time again), tipped off by unclean traitors among us.

To show we are in compliance with the Ctan rules, we have established Martial Law in the Zim Belt for an unforseen period of time.


The military of TurtleShroom will send an attatched message explaining the situation with Urmanian.

Thank you.
-Governor (Two Star) General Kyle Keef II, Military Commander of the Reconstruction

---

Code: Select all

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
ARMED FORCES
FOUR STAR GENERAL TECUMSEH DUKEM

CTAN:
We find your arrogance astoundingly deplorable, and the notion that you, because of your future tech abilities, can run over nations that have satisfied their commitments is in grave need of checks in power and a long look in the mirror.

Urmanian does not wish to broker peace with TurtleShroom. They have openly called for our destruction and consistently wish for our outright decimation. They encourage the looting and plundering of our people and the consumption of our citizenry, and probably not just the mushrooms and turtles, if their own letters are to be believed.

They have openly expressed the call for our annialation and trample the flags of our country in the streets. They burn our flags and effigies of me, our people, our leaders, and even crosses before alters before their pagan idols.
They cheer our downfall and support our enemies. They have no respect for our own people and would prefer to see our nation as a sea of glass.

Before you attack us for not brokering peace with TurtleShroom, consider the fact that we're even at the table with an armstice!
Urmanian has refused any talks and are still at war with our country. We never actually declared war on them; the guilt is on THEIR hooves, and not our hands, nor our claws, and nor our telekinesis.

Before taking such pigheaded, arrogant strikes at us, look to your own, bloodthirsty, blackhearted allies in Urmanian Pony Herd. They're the ones calling for our death.


Signed
-Four Star General Tecumseh Dukem, TurtleShroom Armed Forces


[YellowApple]

Tagged.

Also, my posts will be continuing evacutions; ICly, the YA ADC is still concerned about civilian safety, especially with "Zim Belt" separatists (if I'm reading the posts right), while OOCly, I need to tie this in with events in one of the GEIJD v. Yushuu threads, where GEIJD's leadership is basically hitching a ride on evac transports. So yeah.

[Saurisisia]

Consider this a tag.

[The Ctan]

Transmission Source: Assistant Secretary Jack Snipe of the War Department of the Central Bureaucracy of the Necrontyr Empire.
Destination:General Tecumseh Dukem, TurtleShroom Armed Forces
Subject: Your peace treaty proposal
Security: Unencrypted

Now I may be admittedly mad, but I would say that the true arroagance is in thinking that we will betray our allies simply at your say so. We are quite aware that the Greater Pony Herd has made terrible threats against you. The ponies of the Herd have learnt our ways well, and we esteem them highly for it.

We offered to negotiate with you and allow you to put your case that we we should accept your most unreasonable terms. You refused to even speak about our concerns, ignorant turtle.

Now we are forced to resume hostilities against you. I would say this is a shame, when we had written off all concerns about you and decided to ignore you. But now we must go and attack you again. It is quite tedious you know.

You state the compromise of your military structure by anti-ponyists means that you cannot effectively fight the Zim Bandits, but then you state that you are perfectly adequate to do so. I am mad, but even I see the contradiction there.

To avoid going through non-bandit areas of your country, our forces have been directed to approach through the dead nation of Haiz to your west. They have been monitored to capture or slay any TurtleShroomer that resists in the region. Obviously as a society with a right to keep and bear arms this may cause problems for the innocent, I suggest you evacuate the general area of law abiding citizens. There may be unclean traitors among you, but be assured that we will not encounter this problem. Also we will use overwhelming force.

Also, I think perhaps they're not replying to you because you keep calling them Urmanian. There are no Urmanians any more, the nation's name is, in full, the Greater Pony Herd. Or informally, Adorable Ponies.

Transmission Source: Assistant Secretary Jack Snipe of the War Department of the Central Bureaucracy of the Necrontyr Empire.
Destination: Morning Star, Chancellor of the Greater Pony Herd
Subject: Turtle Message
Security: Unencrypted

This message was sent privately to us by the military junta of Turtleshroom. We don't think much of their idea that telling us something can be done privately from telling yourselves it. So here it is. Enjoy.

Meanwhile, assault landings were taking place outside the Turtleshroom Haiz border, thorn-like landing craft dropping from the skies and disgorging cargoes of necrons in their hovering ghost arks, bizarre open-topped transports with weird ribs that curved up and around them as they were held locked off in place.

With them came hordes of bizzare bird-like humanoids, whose pinions flexed in anticipation, and who carried alongside their weapons, their own viciously sharp claws, and roved ahead of the necron advance as they marshaled their forces, by the thousands.

Each of these anthropomorphic hawks was a Mirkanian, from a country that had been crushed by the C'tan for their crime of hunting humans, these were notably, those who wanted to continue their human-hunting tradition; they were of course not permitted to do so, except on rare occasions like this, and the slim green tracking shock collars that could be triggered to explode that were locked around their necks would ensure that they would not try to escape and pester people whom the necrons didn't want killed. Fielded in squads thirty strong, with bayonet-bearing conventional rifles instead of the usual more sophisticated weapons the necrons preferred. they had one feature to recommend them: They had a wealth of experience hunting bands of humans through forests.

The Mirkanian Penal Legions squads were each lead by sergeants derived from corvid stock; who were generally the most intelligent birdmen and had done well out of the C'tan's transport. One in fifteen had a squad machine gun to go with their weapons.

They were an experiment in the viability of penal legion operation.

[Urmanian]

---

To: The Armed Forces of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom
From: Rubber Stamp, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Greater Pony Herd

---

Subject: Armistice

---

TurtleShroomers,

We are not sure if your arrogance amuses or irritates us. The high-and-mighty attitude of your messages; we find it quite unfitting when you address civilizations far superior to yours. If I was you, I'd consider your tone and watch your tongue. Our patience with you has run out long ago. Quite frankly, anything short of you wallowing in dust before us, kissing our hooves and begging for mercy is unsatisfactory to us now.

You call us bloodthirsty and blackhearted? May I remind you of the meeting of the Dragon's Fury Pact, when you have shot a peaceful Herd delegation, which I was a member of, without any provocation? We are not calling for dismantling of your state for no reason - you had it coming for a long time.

Why should we have any respect for your people? From what we've seen of you up to this point, you TurtleShroomers are hateful little critters driven by bigotry and fear. We are a loving and tolerating kin, yet we have a hard time feeling anything but disgust towards you.

Tell me, why should we pursue peace with you? We can lay waste to your lands with ease, and yes, we do have full intentions to do so. The question is rhetorical though, truth be told, as since our dear friends in C'tan seem to have launched a new offensive against you, there will be no peace of any form or fashion. At least not in any foreseeable future.

---

Signed,
Rubber Stamp,

the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Greater Pony Herd

[TurtleShroom]

NATIONSTATES
DARK HARVEST II: HERE WE GO AGAIN

*snip*

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
HEADMASTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS

The Honorable Secretary Jack Snipe:

Okay. Our current path seems to further your obsession to eliminate us, but again, your people have very legitimate reasons to go after us. I’ll take it over from General Dukem from here.

You previously asserted that all treaties should treat your people and the Urmanians as a unit, and that refusal to make peace with their Herd is the exact equivalent of refusing to make peace with you.

I can understand your considerations and I presume this would be the equivalent of you attacking the crumbling realms of Haiz or Comrade Commissar- our two closest allies –or settling disputes with them and giving them the shaft. Since your nations are such close friends, I apologize on the behalf of my military brethren and will attempt to return to the negotiating table.


Therefore, I propose a second alternative.

We will strike your name from the Peace Treaty and add you to the Armistice instead. This way, we will equate you and Urmanian on the same terms. To make true, lasting peace with a group of horses whose actions I won’t condemn and whose behavior I will not refer to in this letter (for fear of causing further damage) is unthinkable. Their treatment to our people after our reversal of the Dark Harvest is inexcusable, and we truly believe, if their cult leader- Shadowmane –is to be believed, that they will raze us to the ground and slaughter our entire nation while sewing salt into our fields, and other things I will not reference.

If you do not settle for peace with you and Armistice with Urmanian, then perhaps we can just sign the Armistice with you both?

Is this acceptable?


Cold regards,
-Maven Outtacountry, Headmaster Pre and Post of Foreign Affairs of TurtleShroom
P.S.: Our people swore a lifetime of protection for the Haizian people. Even though their national government has crumbled, we can’t accept an invasion of our absolute closest ally and truest friend. (We’ve even considered coming into an annexation/cession agreement with their people!)
P.P.S.: Please, please don’t lay a hand on a single Haiz. (That is to say, the species, Homo sapiens haiz, but also the entire Haizian civilization.) They did nothing to deserve any wrath from your people, so please, if you invade us through the defenseless nation, do not touch them. At all.

Maven sent the telegram, hoping it wasn’t too late to contain the brash tongue of the famously bold TurtleShroomian military.

---

That was when the Urmanian letter was forwarded to Maven. The sheer, unhinged double standard and arrogance of the horses would have made Maven’s blood boil, if he was warm-blooded.

He angrily shoved the Urmanian letter into the desk and wrote a hasty reply, the anger visible in his handwriting because it was shakier.

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
HEADMASTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS

ENCRYPTION: TOP SECRET (Contains jeopardizing data)

URMANIAN:

Your people are not able to comprehend the amount of double standard and hypocrisy in your letter, and I am certain you probably smash turtle eggs and would rape and pillage the houses of humans if you had a chance.
So let me counter the Pact meeting, which, by the way, you have no authority to disclose in an unencrypted letter. (It is of the utmost in TurtleShroomer national security to keep your soul-ripping death ray secret to the people. It’d stir the embers of our rejected, obsolete, discarded and forgotten neo-conservative ways if it was confirmed and disclosed that you had a death ray capable of tearing into the immortal plane of one’s very soul and smash their free will. That is beyond technology and deep into sorcery, and is inexcusably a violation of every free creature in God’s great universe.)

We shot at you in self defense. Here’s why we reasoned to open fire:

Rubber Stamp, your nation possesses a weapon so evil, so dark, so vile, that it can warp souls and terminate free will, temporarily turning people into mindless zombies that, while you claim want to give hugs, are probably programmed turned on the populace and made to cut creatures open while they still live and yank out their hearts!

We saw your death ray! Your black magic has somehow breached the Rusty Gates of Hell and harnessed the corruption and possession (in violation of free will) that was traditionally only reserved to Satan and his angels. To obtain the power normally reserved to demons, your cult must have intimate, deep ties to the devil, or at least the strongest of connections to the occult.

Your nation is the showcase for why sorcery must be banned and cracked down on without mercy. In fact, you could even be the case-in-point for an upgrade of our anti-witchcraft codes, which were laxed in the 1960s.

We know the nature of your death ray; we possess the footage of its use and your open admission to its abilities. We have stored it in the most secure of places in TurtleShroom that technically don’t exist.

Our reasons for open firing were in extreme terror and fear for ourselves in facing a major enemy whose admission into the Pact was not disclosed to us, and having seen your soul-warping, demonic death ray, we feared you were going to come for our souls. Considering your incapability to realize peace with anything that doesn’t agree to bow to your pagan goddesses and your opinions and deeds, and your open calls for our destruction and the destruction of our nation, the idea that you steal souls is not a stretch.

We are willing to make peace, but a total peace and dismissal of your actions will not come. We will not apologize for our behavior towards you until you do to us. We’re being generous! The fact that we even reply to a nation whose people have the collective power to steal souls is amazing.

Anyway, we have begun reinstatement of negotiations with Ctan, and the offer for an Armistice is willing and able. Due to their very close ties with your people, we have considered offering them the Armistice as well, because they refuse unequal treatment before your two nations.


We have heard reports of you burning our flags, torching Bibles, attacking public figures in effigy, and cursing upon our God, our country, and us openly before the statues of your idols and at the alters of your pagan gods. Attacking our country is enough, but our reports show you going after Christ Himself. That’s where we have an objection: we have heard you have burnt the Christian Flag and have melted crosses and smashed pulpits into firewood, not to mention, of course, your apparent protest of the Bible by burning it, too. (Something about human supremacy or that.)

We’re willing to overlook all your heinous acts, your death threats, your wish for our extermination, and your outright attack on us and the One True God to sign an Armistice where each of us pledge to put down our arms for the interest of peace.

We’ve never threatened to invade you. If you are truly a people of tolerance, you should tolerate our existence and enter into the terms of ceasefire and peace. We’re ready to promote harmony and peace between our nations by signing an Armistice to stop this war.

We have repented of the Dark Harvest. It is not us, and we will not repeat it.


What say you, then?
Will you embrace your own tenants of peace, tolerance, and harmony? Or will continue to fuel aggression and the bitter treatment towards Ponyism that creates intolerance and hatred amongst our people and the world?
Show us that we are wrong about Ponyism. Show us its real face.

In your future actions, you speak not just for the Greater Pony Herd, but for your own doctrine. What is Ponyism?

Show us, Urmanian. Show us all.


Signed
-Maven Outtacountry, Headmaster Pre and Post of the TurtleShroomer Ministry of Foreign Affairs

[Urmanian]

Flankfurt am Mane
The Chancellor's Residence

"What exactly in Celestia's holy name is this?" - Morning Star, a grey unicorn, the Chancellor of the Herd, asked, shaking a paper in his hoof. He was nestled in a big red chair in front of a fireplace, wearing a bathrobe and levitating a glass of wine beside him.

Rubber Stamp shrugged.

"A message from TurtleShroomers, your excellency." - the earth pony said and sighed. - "They are rather thick-headed, aren't they?"

Morning Star gestured for Rubber Stamp to sit down in another chair before the fireplace and he complied rather happily for this chance to relax. The earth pony curled up in the chair and sighed in comfort as Morning Star read through the communique and chuckled, massaging his forehead.

"Dear Elements...I do not even know how to call this. I cannot find words insulting to intelligence of TurtleShroomers enough to not sound like praise to them instead." - At that, Morning Star just crushed the paper and threw it into the fireplace and levitated a glass and a bottle of wine, pouring his guest some of the beverage. - "I can feel this letter sapping my intelligence away. But enough of that! Let's drink now, and enjoy this rare moment of comfort."

The glasses clinked, and the ponies drank.

"But, your excellency...what are we to do with them now?" - Rubber Stamp asked as he put down his glass.

"Simple, tell them there will be no peace, at least not until C'tan agree to such." - Morning Star said and grinned excitedly. - "Oh, and I also have such a terrible, terrible idea now! I wonder if C'tan would agree to us using the Orbital Friendship Cannon on TurtleShroom, on low capacity...oh, and also. Next time bring some Bibles, you know, so I don't waste firewood."

---

---

To: The Armed Forces of the Holy Republic of TurtleShroom
From: Rubber Stamp, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Greater Pony Herd

---

Subject: Armistice

---

TurtleShroomers,

There will be no peace. For now, at least, but we will generously condescend to message you when we see that there is a possibility for burying the hatchet. We may consider that if our glorious friends in the C'tan agree to the same.

Oh and also the contents of your letter, all the jeopardizing data, were released into public channels and given to our allies. Not that you know, the Herd possession of the Orbital Friendship Cannon was a state secret or anything, it isn't. You however have admitted yourselves to have attacked a peaceful delegation with no justification but your paranoia, ignorance and bigotry...ah but I digress, digress and stoop to personal squabble. Ahem.

No peace. Repeat this three times, take a deep breath and go entertain yourselves with something more worthwhile than writing letters that will end up in my new shiny office shredder without even being opened from now on.

---

Signed,
Rubber Stamp,

the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Greater Pony Herd

---

P.S.: We are also flattered that you think of us highly enough to consider us a direct threat to someone you believe to be an almighty deity.

---

From: Morning Star, the Chancellor of the Greater Pony Herd

To: Assistant Secretary Jack Snipe of the War Department of the Central Bureaucracy of the Necrontyr Empire and other Necrontyr dignitaries in charge of the Zim Belt punitive operation

---

Hello friends,

I was wondering if we could get clearance to use the Orbital Friendship Cannon on the population centers of the "Zim Belt" from you. On a non-lethal capacity, just to see their faces, but of course if you would find it fitting for us to use the Cannon on higher power settings we wouldn't think twice about blasting some turtles to hell and back.

[Saurisisia]

Dragon Castle
Outskirts of Saurus City Metropolitan Area

"By the Gods, again with this TurtleShroom nonsense?" Hadro asked in an annoyed tone to a tall aqua Dragoness who was a a high-ranking member of the DFA, Valarie Fireclaw.

Nodding, the older Humanoid female replied, "I'm afraid so, Mr. President."

Sighing, his golden wings drooping, the young Regulus then commented, "Ah well, I was never a fan of turtles, anyway. 'Cept as a food, even then, their meat's not too good."

Gently scratching the underside of her snout, the Dragoness then queried, "Alright, so what do you want us to do? Send the Bible-thumpers a message or what?"

Shaking his head, the purple Dragon responded, "No, no, we do nothing. Just keep an eye on the situation and if it comes to it, send a request to the Necrontyr Empire and the Herd about whether we can send some forces to the Zim Belt or not."

"Right," she nodded before heading back out. Smiling, Hadro glanced in her direction before walking over to the shower. He needed something to get his mind off this whole thing.

[The Ctan]

The Mirkanian Penal Legion entered the Zim belt, their guns held under them as they beat their wings, looking around with literally hawk eyed readiness. Their orders were indeed not to engage the diminutive pacifist humans and they passed these tasty snack-packs by, not willing to provoke the wrath of the necrons who travelled with them. The necrons had no respect for or interest in devoted pacifists, the notion of an absolutist pacifist quite alien to them. They considered such persons the rightful prey of whoever came along to disillusion them about the universe, but they had no intention to do so here.

Only Turtleshroomers were of interest.

Ten thousand necrons rapildy deployed, and moved into the country, with nine thousand seven hundred and fifty bird-men in three hundred and twenty five penal legion squads. These advanced across a front ten kilometers wide, deploying pylons, huge machines whose weapons were optimised for engaging orbital and suborbital craft and projectiles.

Lady Cyash, regenerated now, had no intention of being caught wanting twice, and had given orders for anything remotely like a nuclear (or Nooclear, or however the natives pronunced it) delivery mechanism to be shot down without mercy. Supervising the advance from her deep sea-green command barge that clipped along over the treetops at speed, she watched through the noosphere as her forces spread out.

They had come for one thing and one thing only, to bring death to those who still held the Dark Harvest in their hearts, and had not given it up. The population of Turtleshroom had perhaps given up and wanted forgiveness, but these people had not, and the fact that they supported it meant that they were guilty of it in their hearts. The necron advance was guided by orbital augury, and ahead of their forces roved tomb stalkers, huge centipede-like robots that slithered between the trees with mechanised speed, able to filter through the pulse of life all around to home in on humanoid life.

It remained to be seen what resistance they would offer to their round-up. Leaning upon the rail of her command barge, Cyash cued a piece of traditional pony folk music in the etheric link that linked all necrons on the field, and sang along. “Turtle wrap-up, Turtle wrap-up...”

Her pretensions of being able to sing always spurred her underlings into a gratifying mood to kill something.

Three months of progress, and awesome peace
We've kept our gauss guns warm at home, time off from work to play!
But the patience we have is running out, and they've gotten bold
And even though I love the peace, this mayhem's getting old!

The time has come to slay shrooms,
And all things slow and green,
But it's also time to say goodbye:
It's the forest we must clean.
How can I help? I'm new, you see.
What does everypony do?
How do I fit in without burning?
I haven't got a clue!

Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here!

Killing all of the dissenters
A destroyer's job begins
And clearing all the gloomy skies
And let the sun shine in!
We skim the treetops and we melt the folk below;
When the sun comes up, rivers of blood will flow!

Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here!

Little critters hibernate
This forest crawls with lice.
We will reap all of their heads
So quietly and nice!

We help hawks gather up their food,
Smash the homes below;
We've brought back the murder birds
And show them were to go!

Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here!


No easy task to clear the ground,
Find the human weeds.
With proper care and ammunition,
We shall do grim deeds.
Turtles and Sapient Mushrooms
And humans too, too!
We must work so very hard,
It's just so much to do!

Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here!

Now that I know what they all do,
I have to find my place
And help with all of my heart,
Tough task ahead I face.
How will I do without a warscythe,
Help the necron way?
I wanna belong, so I must
Do my best today
Do my best today

Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Let's finish our dread warfare
Turtle Wrap-Up, Turtle Wrap-Up!
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here,
Grim Necron Death is here!

By the time she'd actually finished the atrociously bad song, all her underlings had managed to cross channel to avoid having to listen to it. Of course, quite a few were murderously enraged so it worked in that sense.

Duat

Jack Snipe dropped the sugar cube into his tea, looking aroudn the reading room of the Lyceum. He felt a buzz in his pocket and took his global out, flipping it open, glancing at the Turtleshroom message on it. He put it back.

Tiffin time was much more important after all. Everyone would sympathize, of course?

The message from Morning Star came later, and that one he felt justified a response.

Transmission Source: Assistant Secretary Jack Snipe of the War Department of the Central Bureaucracy of the Necrontyr Empire.
Destination: Morning Star, Chancellor of the Greater Pony Herd
Subject: Orbital Friendship Cannon
Security: True-random One-Time Pad

Sure.

[TurtleShroom]

{OOC: Urmanian, TurtleShroom has a trick in space you'll never see coming. I've had it for years. I'll write it later. -but then again, I may not need it. Think about it! That death ray is the nightmare of every TS citizen. We've wanted a chance to shoot it for AGES. We have a sophisticated privatized space program.}

{OOC: Ctan, for RP's sake, your hoardes of soldiers will first clash with TS' huge Border Patrol. I'll write that this afternoon.}

[Comrade Commisar]

Academy City,
Shi Province, Comrade Commisar

Knock, knock.

"Hello, Mister Yong Shi? I am Xin Xingshi, the leader of SYSTEM and close friends with Provincial Leader Ten Shi. I have matters that may concern you." The young SYSTEM leader said, eventually being allowed within the high-end residence provided to Mister Yong Shi by the state.

Sitting down upon the couch, Xin Xingshi crossed his legs and closed his eyes, simply talking to the residents of the apartment.
"I'm afraid, Mister Yong Shi... that this news is very disturbing..." He said quietly, "The C'Tan and Greater Pony Herd have begun their 'occupation' of Turtleshroomian soil, hunting down Turtleshroomers who oppose their cause."

He opened his eyes, slowly looking at the man and his family and friends.
"We believe that the Greater Pony Herd's Orbital Cannon shall be used to neutralize the populace, and the C'Tan shall use fear to control the citizenry." Xin said, "I wish to help, but Comrade Commisar's Great Armies are in Fukakku, addressing the situation here - Turtleshroom gets second priority. However, I have convinced Miss Yue and Mister Shi that Turtleshroom is of the upmost importances, but I doubt Shrine Maidens and Students can get much accomplished in Turtleshroom now..."

Xin looked at Yong with upmost seriousness.
"Do not mistake us. We do not wish for military involvement in Turtleshroom, however, we cannot sit idle. We sent in the Tsao before, and that was our biggest mistake. They did not care for the populace, rather their own personally glory with the Japanese Emperor. We could've saved so many more..."

Returning to his train of thought, Xin continued.
"In any case, I shall use all my available power to save as many Turtleshroomians as I can from the Ponyists." He smiled, standing up with his hands in his pockets, "Please, Mister Shi, take a vacation somewhere in Comrade Commisar. I hear the Yue Province is quite reknown for its hot springs."

Stepping partically out the door, Xin looked back at Yong.
"I'll keep in touch," He smiled as he steped out, "Have a wonderful time... Young..."

---

Origin: Province of Shi, Comrade Commisar
Destination: All Concerned Parties
Encryption: Level 0 - None


Oh my, my, there has been alot of anger going around, hasn't there?

My name is Xin Xingshi, and I am one of the representatives for the Shi Province of Comrade Commisar. While we do not oppose the actions you have taken against Turtleshroom, I wish for all the involved parties to otherwise refrain from language that could otherwise start another conflict. As I am a representative from the Shi Provincial Government, please do not associate me with the barbarians within the Tsao Province.

Comrade Commisar has had a relatively good relationship with the Greater Pony Herd, if I recall. Did our hospitality during the Dragon's Fury Pact suffice? If not, I am deeply sorry for any inconvenience that may have existed. Leaders of the C'Tan, while Comrade Commisar may be looked at through a somewhat negative light, I would like to state that I have no intention of military involvement within Turtleshroom. We do not wish to trouble the great C'Tan in their efforts there.

I apologize for such obvious flattery. I'm sure you wish to cut straight to the point. Due to the ever increasing tensions within Turtleshroom, would it be too much of a bother if we requested that students in Turtleshroom be allowed to travel to Comrade Commisar unharmed? As a member of the Shi Province, I find that the student must have an education in a safe environment away from fear and conflict. Of course, we understand that they are criminals within Turtleshroom that wish for the destruction of other non-human beings, but I feel that this feeling should not be mutual within the student body. Worry not, Comrade Commisar shall not implement any Anti-Ponyist teachings, we shall simply continue the student upon a course of their choosing. If you have any doubts, we'll allow the Yellow Applans to inspect any Educational Building within Comrade Commisar with an escort.

I, along with many Comradens, only wish for the safe learning environment nessesary for the student body. If this is not acceptable, please state how so and any possibly ways we could come up with an agreement.


Take care and avoid argument,
Xin Xingshi, Leader of SYSTEM,
Province of Shi, Comrade Commisar

Xin Xingshi, Shi Province, Second Person.

[TurtleShroom]

Sim You- Yong Shi sat on the beige couch, his body mildly trembling, as it had since he was whisked away to this luxurious mansion with his family and closest friends.

He was dressed in a red t-shirt tucked into khaki short pants, with a thick, black leather belt completing the look. He wore black tube socks and shiny black shoes. Considering his young age, he could expertly blend in with all of the students in the universities and networks in this province. (Indeed, he even considered furhtering his political knowledge by enrolling in a school.)
Yong held his thick, heavy black glasses in his hands, blind without them, twirling the temple pieces idly.

He had grown much thinner than when he left TurtleShroom. Of course, he was never even close to fat, but at least he looked healthy. Now, the bones of his wrists were visible, and his face was exhibiting wrinkles around his mouth and on his forehead that shouldn't inflict any man, Asian or otherwise, for at least thirty more years.

Sat awkwardly on his head was the old iron crown of the TurtleShroomer regency. He usually wore it around the house; it comforted him like a security blanket. His family worried deeply about him, and they insisted that he ate. He did eat sparingly, primarily reducing his daily meals to rice, grits, Pop Tarts, and bananas, with water, milk, and sweet iced tea. It was not very healthy and starkly contrasted Yong's original, collosal smorgasboard chomping appetite he had before.


That was what greeted Xin when he entered into the heavilly guarded mansion.

"Hello, Mister Yong Shi? I am Xin Xingshi, the leader of SYSTEM and close friends with Provincial Leader Ten Shi. I have matters that may concern you."

Yong nodded as one of his bodyguards motioned for Xin to come and sit down on the adjacent sofa. Yong's parents and siblings gathered around behind Yong's couch, standing directly behind the sitting, dethroned TurtleShroomian ruler.

They all expected bad news.

"I'm afraid, Mister Yong Shi... that this news is very disturbing..." He said quietly, "The C'Tan and Greater Pony Herd have begun their 'occupation' of Turtleshroomian soil, hunting down Turtleshroomers who oppose their cause. We believe that the Greater Pony Herd's Orbital Cannon shall be used to neutralize the populace, and the C'Tan shall use fear to control the citizenry.

All of the natural Oriental coloration left Yong's face when the death ray was mentioned. They were going to use that on TurtleShroom. They were going to use that on TurtleShroom. THEY WERE GOING TO STEAL THE SOULS OF HIS PEOPLE.

Yong's face was lily white, like most of TurtleShroom or the immigrants in the business provinces, as he tried to open his mouth to speak, but no words came out, spare some stuttered, faint mumbling.

"Ohgoshnononononopleasenononotthisnoohgoshohgosh"

He buried his head into his hands, rubbing his hand through his short, neatly cut hair as was a habit before his barber visit. He began to sob lightly, not really hearing or caring about what Xin remarked about TurtleShroomer affairs being second in priority to a huge civil war his nation was aiding in. He didn't hear the remarks about the Tsao- who he really didn't even know about -or much of anything else.

However, he felt very mildly relieved that the Shi State considered delivering TurtleShroom from the death ray and protecting his people a major priority.

"In any case, I shall use all my available power to save as many Turtleshroomians as I can from the Ponyists."

Still blind from not wearing his eyeware, Yong looked towards the general direction of Xin and sniffled a bit, making a very faint smile.

"Thank you. Bless you... that... that means the world to all of us."

He shook his head, still sobbing. He turned to his own entourage and whispered to them.

"Does my homeland know about the death ray? We have means of combatting it... top secret means... it's.. well, it's on the moon."

The family shrugged, but the bodyguards nodded. Sim relaxed his shoulders a bit, feeling a glimmer of hope.

Xin placed a hand on Yong.

"Please, Mister Shi, take a vacation somewhere in Comrade Commisar. I hear the Yue Province is quite reknowned for its hot springs."

Yong did not make any response to the vacation comment. While his family, friends, and guards were adjusting well to the Commissarian lifetyle, Yong himself refused to leave the mansion, speak above a whisper, or eat anything more than what he needed to live. Many times, CC bureaucrats and friends of the Nuclear Minister would offer to show him a good time downtown, or take him to a nice dinner out, but he would reject the offer.

He spend a lot of time sleeping these days, and when he wasn't sleeping, he was reading TurtleShroom's collosal Public Code, that is to say, the laws of TurtleShroom, even if he didn't get all of it.
His health was clearly declining.

Yong's family was obscenely wealthy. They were the richest Asians in TurtleShroom because of their oil powers, but also because they had invested in Pizza Pagoda, Cici's, and Johnny's New York Style Pizza at the time when TurtleShroom declared "Pizza Faith"- an surging cult in the nation's upper class, urban, often irreligious youth, that worshipped the consumption of pizza and praised the farmer as the source of life and greasy goodness -as a legitimate religion. (That is an authentic NS issue. )

They owned land south of TurtleShroom in the Land of Power, where beautiful, white sandy beaches and pristine oceans and beachouses towered. Particularly, it was a swinging tourist city called "Crabby Miketon".
He had vacationed there since he was six, but frankly, neither that or the notion of hot springs, which Yong's parents always wanted to visit, entertained him. He was mixed with feelings of shame, guilt, and even the idea that he was at fault for causing the Dark Harvest.

His heart ached for TurtleShroom, and really, his health was falling because of this emotion.

He forced a smile to his kind host, extending his hand in the wrong direction for a handshake, which Xin wearily shook. He heard the good man exit and turn for the front door, which some Comradean sentries had unlocked for his exit.

"I'll keep in touch," He smiled as he stepped out, "Have a wonderful time... Young...

As the door closed, Yong smiled- a sincere smile -at the mention of his real name. The nation of Comrade Commissar, alongside his family and friends, would never leave him or forget him. Their gratitude was what kept him stable.

The quiet restored, Yong's siblings exited and discussed about this or that. His mother and father sat down and embraced their fallen child, and reminded them of how much they and Jesus both loved him.

That having finished, Yong got up and removed his shoes and belt. He shuffled into his bedroom and shut the door, where he wept for a short time before he fell into a peaceful afternoon nap, for the third time that day.

[Ende]

Rafael strode back and forth on his balcony, viewing the thousands of colonists building up the hive. A worker, completely insignificant in rank and title approached him. The worker was clearly malnourished-his ribs stood out from his dark black (the color of night) torso, which was heavily muscled. Standing at eight feet, the worker was slightly taller than Rafael. Rafael scowled at him.

"Yes, Worker A236? What is it? I'm working on coordinating a military force to retrieve supplies right now. What is it now?"

"Sir, our rations have reached a dangerously low level. Even taking very small portions and limiting meals to one a day is starting to starve the populace. I haven't had a decent meal in days. The workers in my unit sent me as a representative to bring this cause to you."

"You're supposed to be building Drillers right now! Not pestering me about problems I already know and am dealing with! Do you know how you are making me feel? Furious! Outraged! SICK WITH ANGER! I'm spending nights attempting to work out this problem! And you're bothering me about it?" Rafael spat, baring his fangs at A236. In response, A236 slowly backed away. Rafael was violent when he was angry, and right now, Rafael was quivering. A236 pondered how to say his next statement without enraging Rafael further.

"I'm sorry, m'lord, but this is urgent. We're losing the ability to work coherently."

Rafael covered his face with one of his hands, the stress nearly breaking him down.

"Look, A236, it's not easy to manage a colony of 80,000 all by myself. I'm trying as hard as I can to get supplies from the Turtleshroomers without calling Theivery Raids. They ejected...ponies, er, the species that sent Minor Hivelord Shogg a rude message a few weeks back? I'm attempting to ally with their rebels in what they call the "Zim Belt" so we can trade weapons and mines for food. We've got overflowing weaponry, and we don't need it. Do you want to hear my plan?" he said.

A236 paused for a moment, stroking his chin back and forth. "Yes, m'lord. If my fellow workers learn that you have a plan, our hearts would be filled with happiness, and we would strive to achieve your cause. We landed on this planet very recently, and you have managed well. I request, m'lord, that you would tell me your plan."

"Very well then, A236. You have permission to repeat this to your working squad. My plan is as follows. I am currently using the entirety of A and B sector to create a fleet of Drillers. C sector is working on mining the materials. D sector is creating turrets to trade. Here's how the plan works. Once the fleet of Drillers is completed and manned, I shall use them to tunnel under the earth until we reach the "Zim Belt". Once we reach there, we trade the weapons to the rebels, in exchange for their crops. The humans in the nation of "Turtleshroom", our neighbors, are very agricultural. Once we supply a very large amount of weapons, we shall return home with the crops. It should hold us for the next three weeks."

A236 nervously stepped back.

"Thank you, m'lord! Also, I have additional news. I wasn't only here for the request. There's news about the Zim Belt that our scouts picked up."

"Oh, and what is THIS? Do tell me!" Rafael said, seeming very interested.

"Ah, yes! We've sighted what appears to be yet ANOTHER species, and they're proceeding in mass force in the Zim Belt. We attempted to capture some messages from them with our equipment, but no success."

Rafael broke into a smile.

"This fills my heart with joy, A236! This is miraculous news!" he said, grabbing A236 by the shoulders and shaking him. A236 was rather unnerved, fearing that Rafael had lost his sanity.

"W-why? I thought you were siding with the Zim Belt rebels?"

Rafael laughed, a rattling, slightly insanity-tinged laugh.

"Don't you get it, A236? It's so simple! We play both sides off each-other, and take both of their supplies! This could fuel our food reserves for months, if we play this right! First, we supply the Zim Rebels with advanced weaponry. The Zim Rebels are ordinary humans with weak weapons. Then, once the other species is surprised, they'll want additional force. We'll then meet them with the Driller Fleet, say we were there to "assist them", and trade different types of supplies and weaponry to them, for food. Both sides will end up fighting each-other, and we'll get supplies from both!"

A236 stroked his chin, relieved that he had not been the victim of Rafael's anger, and that he had successfully made his point. He turned around, preparing to proceed to the location of where the rest of his sector was working, ready to deliver the news.

"Thank you, M'lord. Seeing as I have no other buisness here, I shall leave you to your overseeing."

Rafael turned around, and waved good-bye to A236, smiling for the first time in days. He wrung his hands, grinned, and resumed overseeing the colony.

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OOC: Turtleshroom, in your next post, the Endrenians could show up. Kthnx?
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[TurtleShroom]

{OOC: Sorry for the rush. I didn't really have much of an idea here, except what I'd use and how.}

Two words. MOON. CANNON.

The meeting between TurtleShroomer military commanders was speedily interrupted by an Asian human in a very well-tailored business suit. It was a member of the TSSSS that collaborated with Comrade Commissar.

"SIRS, WE HAVE LEARNED THAT URMANIAN IS FIXING TO FIRE THE DEATH RAY ON TURTLESHROOM."

All the creatures drinking drinks performed one big spit take, spilling water, coffee, milk, and sweet tea all over the bunker's floor.


"WHAT?!"


"It's true. It's true! Comrade Commissar intercepted that fact and had told the Dethroned Regent."

"No!"

"YES!"

"No!"

"Well, those idiots in the privatized space program are only about launching BILLBOARDS and PROBING URANUS."

Snickers in the background.

"What? ........... ......that again? For the last time, people, Uranus isn't that funny!"

More laughter.

"You're professional soldiers and yet you find Uranus funny?"

The laughter continues.

"Never mind. -wait. Do we still have..."

Silence. Everyone realized what he was speaking about. It was still active, after all, and it did have the ability to be aimed that way...
...-but would they?
Should they?
Is it e-

"READY THE MOON CANNON."

---

HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
ARMED FORCES
"NOOKULAR" BRANCH

ENCRYPTION: TOP SECRET

URMANIAN:

Our privatized space program is scanning the skies for your death ray. That's right. We were tipped off to its use on us.
If it enters our airspace, much less gets used, we will unleash Hell upon you and your death ray will be powerless to stop exactly what we'd do.
You'd never see it coming. It'll come faster than you can think. Faster than you can steal a soul. Faster than all of that combined.

We mean this threat fully. Position that death ray at your own peril, because if it's aimed at us, we'll rain Hell fire upon everything you hold dear.

We're not kidding.
Really. We're not.


Signed,
-ALL OF US

[TurtleShroom]

{OOC: Sorry for the slowness and lack of response to Ctan. I'm not sure why I haven't done this yet.}