NationStates

Remote test station, Fort Brigg

A high ranking panel of military officials and scientists greeted Defense Chairman Marv Bonesplitter as he arrived to review yet another potential new breakthrough. He wondered why it was he who had to witness demonstration after demonstration of wild and often completely useless technologies, and he was fully prepared for yet another disappointment. Mr. Chairman, it's an honor to receive you. The four star general extended his hand warmly, and Bonesplitter half-heartedly return the gesture, and a Thank you. was all he uttered.

Sir, we believe we're on to something really big here. To which Bonesplitter let out a bellowing laugh, and he blinked hard as he ran his mighty hand down his face. Yeah, that's what you people said when you tried to sell me on that new tank armor, regenerating bullets, human bombs... The general interrupted with a cough, exclaiming that they were getting closer on the human bomb angle. Whatever, let me see what you have for me today. The first stop on the tour was a giant vat that contained a thick, bubbling and potent smelling fluid.

Sir, we believe we have discovered a solution to a common military problem; fuel supply. Sometimes getting gasoline to remote areas is difficult, and when there is no local supply to pillage your vehicles cannot operate effectively. One thing that does seem to be plentiful on any battlefield are...well, the dead. We have developed a new method for rendering down human fat and flesh into an oil, which can then be processed into an additive for gasoline.

Bonesplitter raised an eyebrow as he glanced around the giant machine attached to the vat. Granted we still haven't figured out how to run a vehicle solely on human flesh, but this additive can increase your supply several times over and is fairly cheap to produce when compared to what it costs to mine oil from the earth. We estimate that you can effectively water down 55 gallons of gasoline with our new compound and expand your supply to just shy of 150 gallons. If you dilute your gas down any further then combustion begins to become a real problem, but we're still working out all the possibilities.

The tour then continued on down the line as the machine actively began converting the human fluids into fuels. Bonesplitter was impressed but not totally sold on the idea. I have a few questions about this whole process. Now, while I understand that nowadays you can run a vehicle on pretty much anything, I'm curious as to what the long terms effects are of using human fuel. What does it do to an engine after years of use? What kind of emissions can we expect? What do you do if your human supply runs out?

A pasty white scientist stepped forward and adjusted his glasses, and after clearing his throat he addressed the Defense Chairman's concerns. Well sir, we've run some tests as far as fuel efficiency and engine wear goes. We've found that overall efficiency drops slightly, so for the sake of argument if you have a vehicle that gets 20 miles to the gallon, you're looking at getting about 15 to 17 with our new additive. As far as engine wear is concerned, we've found that with regular maintenance there is no real issue, but if you're not careful you do get a rather disgusting buildup. Emissions...well...we haven't looked into that yet.

Marv took a second to think things over, and then repeated the last question he asked. And if your human supply runs out? There was a silence over the panel for a moment before the ranking general spoke up. Quite simply sir, you have to keep a steady supply of bodies in order to make this work. You either have to keep killing a lot of people, use your own dead, or ransack cemeteries for fresh.. Bonesplitter interrupted with a wave of his hand. Ok, I get the picture. This whole contraption is rather large, is there a way to compress this down to something more...manageable? To which the answer was yes. Alright, I'm going to approve funding for this program on a temporary basis. There is going to be strict oversight and constant evaluations, and if this new 'fuel' of yours is more trouble than it's worth, I yank the plug. I also want you to take this to the private sector and see what they come up with.

Later that day, a press release was issued that gave a general overview of the new program, and that Automagfreek would be putting the new technology to work in its first large scale test later in the month. A second, more secretive memo was sent out to slave trading nations concerning the purchase and shipment of several thousand people, which would be used to help create a supply of the new flesh fuel. Meanwhile, construction on the first mobile plant began inside the AMF controlled island of Freeksbury. Military officials would keep a close eye on its progress as well as future battlefield results, for if it was not a practical program it would simply be terminated.

In the weeks that passed since the program was initially pitched to Bonesplitter, the first test run of the facility known as the MFL-1 (Mobile Fuel Lab #1) was about to be undertaken. While the Defense Chairman himself would not be attending the demonstration, several high ranking Freekish generals stationed on Freeksbury were scheduled to make an appearance and see for themselves whether the new program was to succeed or fail. A technician clad in a clean white lab coat greeted the high ranking entourage as they arrived in armored cars and with heavy Sentinel escort. Welcome gentlemen to the first official test run of the 'flesh to fuel' program. As you have been briefed, this machine that we have constructed is capable of breaking down any organic matter into usable material, first and foremost being biofuel. The most practical military application for this device is to quite literally feed it with the bodies of the dead enemy and use their remains to fuel our vehicles.

He then led the group to the machine itself, a large and cumbersome metal beast that encompassed the area of a small warehouse. You can see that it is quite large, but this is just the first working prototype and we expect future MFL's to be much, much smaller in size as well as more efficient. Today we have a test group of some fifty prisoners that we are going to feed into the machine in order to demonstrate to you the capability this lab will be bringing to the battlefield. Their crimes were largely political in nature, mostly dissent against our Lord Dreadfire and fomenting unrest across Freeksbury. He then motioned to a large platform that was hidden behind a white curtain, and as the curtain fell the shackled and hooded figures of the doomed men could be seen standing in a single line at the mouth of the insidious machine.

And now gentlemen, witness the future! With that, a pair of Sentinel guards activated the machine and scaled the tower, kicking the prisoners into the whirring jaws of the MFL one at a time. Screams rang out loudly as metal teeth tore through flesh and bone with the greatest of ease, grinding the bodies of the condemned into what could only be described as ground beef, where it was then fed into a large tank where it would be subject to the thermal depolymerization process. Skin, entrails, muscle and bone were all broken down and liquefied into a putrid smelling substance with the consistency of glue, but was treated with water and run through several more processors where it would be further broken down into a more usable fluid.

The demonstration wore on until finally, the first drops of human fuel began to pour out from the hose at the far end of the mobile lab and into drums that had been set up to collect the fluid. This was met with cheers from the technicians as well as several of the generals, who were surprised and impressed by what they have just witnessed. And there you have it, raw human material transformed into pure energy! One of the high ranking officers, a personal assistant to Warchief Zander, then stepped forward. I must say, I'm almost at a loss as to what I have witnessed here today, and I'll happily report the progress of this program to my superiors. My only concern is how we are going to continue supplying this machine after we clear the battlefields of the dead, we'd likely have to turn to the locals as a source of energy if we end up converting our non-combat vehicles over to human biodiesel. Another officer shouted from behind him, You say that like it's a problem! which prompted hearty laughter.

Alright, I think we've seen enough here today. I want to thank you all for coming out to this demonstration, and I look forward to showcasing the new MFL's as they're brought out onto the line.

"This technology is...interesting and I must admit that I personally would like to see these new machines utilized by the Imperium, should the Freekish government see fit to equip us with this new technology I shall personally pursue the legalization and utilization of the MFL device." Speaking slowly and deliberately one Command Marshal Isac Sanfried addressed the Gratislavian command while secretly mulling over the reports he held in his hand, making sure that he had delivered an accurate report. "As you know we've had fuel problems in the more isolated sectors of our campaigns, especially when supply lines become stretched and the likes, the MFL system would arguably provide a reliable solution to this problem."

Sighing loudly a rather tall and thin man in dark military dress slowly stood, gazing at the Marshal with a look of utter boredom. "My dear Marshal this is all fine and well but I personally would like to see the device tested in Gratislavia; before we commit to any monetary exchange with the Freekish government. I'm sure you'll agree that this an appropriate cautionary manner Herr Marshal, or I would hope so any way."

Smiling broadly the Marshal looked at the still standing man with a most incredulous gaze, "Herr Kommandant, are you volunteering to be the MFL's first test subject?"

"Well we have quite a sense of humor don't we Herr Marshal, regardless my point still stands we need to test the device here in Gratislavia before we agree to any monetary exchange." The man now identified as a Kommandant declared in an arrogant tone.

"My point stands as well Kommandant, for it would seem you have truly not spoken against testing the device, first hand." Chuckling a bit the marshal turned away from the man blocking out his string of protest; bringing himself face to face with the Imperiator of Gratislavia. "Lord Imperiator in accordance with the alternative protocol I would like to request an official communication be sent to the Freekish government to ascertain the possibility of MFL testing within Gratislavia; to merely assure the device functions properly of course." Frowning slightly the Marshal paused and looked downwards. "Should...we be devoid of test subjects I shall happily acquire the resources needed to properly facilitate the MFL program."

Raising his eyebrow slightly the Imperiator, none to happy began to speak. "Tell me Herr Marshal, do you think it's becoming for a marshal of Gratislavia to look like a down trodden school boy when he addresses his ruler!? Hold your head high man and straighten your posture, no man of my military force shall hold himself in such a manner. You there what are you chuckling about, I've had enough of your bickering with the Marshal Kommandant." Shouting the Imperiator in a fit of rage began to stand quickly while still addressing the cabinet. "Now here this, Gratislavia is a civilized nation; and this machine has no placed in the regular armed force; however I do agree that this might be a useful tool for irregular units however. Therefore your request is granted Herr Marshal, get to it."



Addressed to: Lord Vladius Dreadfire of The Imperial Republic of Automagfreek
Regarding: The MFL program
Encryption: GQ1(Regular)

The John Lee Office, San Angelo

President Cloud was interrupted from the government budget reports he was reviewing by a knock at the door. "General O'Brien has arrived, Mr. President." said a young man with the security detail, leaning in the doorway. "Thank you, let him in."

General Sean O'Brien, four stars, was the head of Air Force Intelligence. "Good afternoon, Mr. President. May I presume this is about the report I sent you?"

"Yes, General, you may. Do you have the full version?"

General O'Brien set the folder he was carrying down on the desk. President Cloud picked it up and began to read. "Pull up a seat, General." he said, and gestured to an empty chair. General O'Brien sat as the President continued to speak. "Business as usual in the Imperial Republic, I take it?"

"Something like that, sir. This time, the achievement is technically impressive but we don't understand why it is being employed as it is." General O'Brien made a vague gesture of disgust rather than elaborating on the subject of it.

"What you mean is, why are they grinding up people instead of cows? It's not like our tissues are particularly remarkable." The President raised an eyebrow.

"Exactly."

"I don't pretend to understand the Elder Empires, only acknowledge that they exist. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Is there anything else you needed?"

"Actually, Mr. President, there is. Are we going to take any kind of official measures against this...thing?"

"General, we've worked for a long time to build our reputation for free trade, and there's no reason to make an exception for this device." The President had an excellent poker face. "The simple fact of the matter is that there is nothing inherently wrong with the device; if someone here wants to take the PR risk to make something more productive than glue out of the useless parts of his cattle - and can talk Automagfreek into selling! - then let him. The angel value of the increased mileage is considerably less than what you can get from chopping someone up and selling his organs on the international black market, so there's really no added economic incentive to kill someone with it. Where's the harm?"

"You're right, of course. Government policy towards the Imperial Republic in light of this?"

"Won't change. I'll have the press liaison issue a 'no comment', but have him see if he can get it to come across as 'we shouldn't need to say how awful this is' rather than indifferent. International policy towards nuclear-armed tyrants stays the same. Their business stays in their country, we do nothing but give them the occasional negative PR piece. Their citizens or slaves make it to our country, and there's a whole forest of Independence IX's* that says they won't go back unless they want to."

"Understood. Good day, Mr. President." He rose and headed for the door.



*The Independence IX is the most common Front Range ICBM.

To our esteemed friends in Gratislavia, we gladly accept your request to test the new MFL devices. Automagfreek will shortly embark on a campaign against an insolent island population to the southeast of Gholgoth who refuse to host our fleets, and we will be putting the MFL to work in our first live test. We invite your personnel to accompany our technicians as they test and fine tune this device in a combat setting.

Also, should Gratislavia seek to employ this technology for themselves, we will be more than willing to sell your government production rights to the MFL.

-Warchief Zander
Commander of the 2nd Imperial Cohort