PASCHA AUREAM
This Papal Bull has been inscribed on the date of 1st April, and is issued in the Twentieth and First century of our Lord.
(i.) THIS BULL HERE INSCRIBES the condoning and support of the true papacy for the NS: The Gathering community festival that has coincided with the resurrection of our lord, Jesus Christ. All those who participate are freed from any sins pertaining to usury, simony, and general lechery until its end. We wish that you would remember, however, the centerpiece of the occasion on this blessed Easter day.
(ii.) All those who come into possession of our card, that of the Ultra-Rare Il Borgia Vaticano are granted by papal dispensation through this bull, a total indulgence for any and all sins committed until the acquisition of the said purple card. If you are arrested by our holy inquisition, merely present the card, and you shall be released immediately without major harm to your person.
(iii.) It is here commanded that all loyal soldiers of Christ not only acquire these cards, but to trade and sell them and to raise their value has high as the vault of heaven shall allow. It should be every Christian's duty to glorify their church, to espouse its value before heathens and heretics. Let us spread the word of god through the gilded light of trading cards, and may it burn ourcompetitorsheretics away in the golden lights of righteousness brighter than any burning witch.Written by, issued, and executed by Her Holiness Papissa Clementia XV Borgia, episcopus servus servorum Dei.
