Good news citizens, we are pleased to announce that we've survived the wave of over a hundred nuclear weapons with minimal damage. In addition when you come out of your bunkers, may notice a few a changes to the landscape. 86% of the land now glows in the dark and scientists say that there is a slight chance that you gain superpowers from exposure. Just think of how much we will save on electricity if the land lights up for us, or how great it would be if you got super powers while doing your day job. Keep these facts in mind citizen as we celebrate this glorious day for the nation.
Now for the weather forecast; snow all week. That's right everyday this week will be a snow day that you can play in for your free time. Truly there has been no better time to be alive.