NS World News- Your nation's news

[Iron Coast (Ancient)]

PRINJAB REBELLION QUASHED; DRZAG IMPRISONED


Guraja, Prinjab, Iron Coast (GP)- Grand Admiral Alexei Morshav announced the defeat of Prinjab rebels this morning. The disgustingly capitalistic rebels had taken many towns and were advancing on the (the state capital of) Guraja when the Grand Admiral himself led an enormous army into the Prinjab River basin and routed the rebels. Rebel leader Josef Drzag has been imprisoned in Jurn Penitentary in Jurn,LU. His execution date is set for June 14th.

[Castigonia]

PRINJAB REBELLION QUASHED; DRZAG IMPRISONED


Guraja, Prinjab, Iron Coast (GP)- Grand Admiral Alexei Morshav announced the defeat of Prinjab rebels this morning. The disgustingly capitalistic rebels had taken many towns and were advancing on the (the state capital of) Guraja when the Grand Admiral himself led an enormous army into the Prinjab River basin and routed the rebels. Rebel leader Josef Drzag has been imprisoned in Jurn Penitentary in Jurn,LU. His execution date is set for June 14th.

Castigonian Press Secretary Gary Harris released a statement this afternoon:

"Concerning the situation in Iron Coast, the government is looking into possibilities of a peacful intervention to save Mr. Drzag's life, but if no compromise is reached, Castigonia may be forced to intervene millitarily."

[United Southernours]

Breaking News - Governor Meade (CvP-Virginia) found dead in Harpers Ferry Homestead

Left: Harpers Ferry, Virginia
Below: Governor Meade

Confederate News Today - Tragedy besieges Virginia as the popular Conservative Governor George Meade was found dead in his Harpers Ferry home. This is believed to have happened as a result of what appears to be a homicide. There was significant evidence that Governor Meade had taken his Richmond 1852 Navy Revolver and shot himself twice in the head, but not only do the finger prints not match on the gun, it is near impossible for anyone to inflict two gunshot wounds to their own head. Mrs. Meade, who was in town at the time, believes her husband was murdered. She has come out and said that the prime suspect is Virginian State Delegate Thomas Hooker, a member of the Dixiecrat party, who supposedly said back in 2015, while in Richmond, Virginia, that he was going to murder Governor Meade as soon as a Dixiecrat won the Lt. Governors seat.

The current Lt. Governor, soon to be sworn in as governor, is a member of the Southern Unity Party.

[American MapleStory]

Henesys- In the Nation's capitol today, the House Assembly will be debating the effective ways to reduce the Republic of Maplestory's Admission of waste into the protected reserves. This will be a crucial vote for the Communists, as support for these waste eliminating bills is coming from the strengthening Republican Party of ROM. No votes are expected until next week. If a bill does pass, it will be sent to the Senate, and if it passes the Senate it will be sent to the EPA Ltd. for final inspection.

[Zeppy]

Zepese Broadcasting News
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Member of Parliament of Catalonia resign after admitting taking heroin

A leading Conservative politician in Catalonia resigned after admitting he had taken heroin following a warning from drugs squad detectives that he was in danger of being blackmailed.

By Miguel Pinyol, Catalonian Political Editor
Published: 7:00AM GMT 02 June 2010

Fransisco Mayall stepped down as a Conservative Member of the Catatonian Parliament from Segrià after it was announced he had been seen socializing with a suspect in a major police drugs surveillance operation.

The Federal Drug Enforcement Agency (FDEA), an federal elite police unit from the Department of Justice of Zeppy, were concerned his influence as Catalonian Conservative Shadow Minister of Justice might be exploited.

Within weeks of the dramatic meeting at the Segrià Municipal Hall, he confessed to fellow Conservative MPs he had used heroin in the past but had since stopped taking the Class A drug.

Around the same time Mr. Mayall left his flat in the western area of Segrià where he grew up, and moved into a new rented home in the City of Valencia.

But over the last weekend in February he suffered a breakdown and checked into Manel Esteller Hospital, a rehabilitation center which specializes in treating drink and drug problems.

He unexpectedly quit as Catalonian MP last Friday and it subsequently emerged the Conservative Party of Catalonia had prepared a statement linking his decision to a “chemical dependency”. He is understood to be in the Canton of Valencia recuperating.

Former Catalonian MP Fransisco Mayall (Segrià, Conservative)
announced his resignation as MP today due to drug scandal.

Tipped as a future Catalonian Premier, he was in charge of a Ƶ2.4 billion annual budget and had appeared with Representative Michelle Crescas, Federal Conservative Leader, at the top table of a Conservative fundraiser in Barcelona only four days before stepping down.

However, it has now emerged Mr. Mayall admitted taking heroin 14 months ago, after two federal officers from the FDEA visited him on May 6th last year.

Although he was not interviewed as a suspect or accused of a crime, the police warned him he was making himself vulnerable to blackmail.

“The FDEA were made aware of a dealer claiming to have evidence of drug use which would have
destroyed his career,” a federal source said.

Officers asked Mr. Mayall if he was aware of any
incriminating mobile phone footage, but the source said he “told detectives he was no aware of any
such blackmail attempt”.

Over the following days and weeks, close colleagues questioned him about drugs. He told four of them he had previously used heroin.

“He agreed that he would take steps to change his lifestyle and sort himself out,” said a source close to Mr. Mayall.

It is understood senior Conservative figures were told of Mr. Mayall’s drink and drug use almost a week ago, but said nothing as Supportive Media Flat, a public relations firm he had hired, tried to limit the damage.

But the full scale of his health problems leaked out last week, ending the pretense he resigned solely because of work-related “stress and exhaustion”.

A Supportive Media Flat spokesman said last night that Mr. Mayall has flown abroad for a period of “rest and recuperation” but refused to comment on the heroin and blackmail claims, made in a series of Sunday newspapers.

A Conservative Catalonian Parliament spokesman confirmed the former MP held a private meeting with two officers at the Segrià Municipal Hall last May, but refused to comment further. An FDEA spokesman refused to identify individuals interviewed in the line of the agency’s work.

It is reported that a by-election for his vacated seat has been scheduled by Governor Mariona Rosselló of Catalonia for July 9th. Conservatives are expected to lose the seat due to this scandal to Labor.

[Nuevo Leone]

Gay Pride Celebration
As the annual gay pride celebration on June 9th grows near, those in support of gay pride in Nuevo Leone are in a frenzy to buy decorations, food, and all things party across the nation for the event. "The sales are incredible, things have been flying off of the shelves for the past couple weeks", says local buisness owner Dale Edwards. It is clear the masses of gay party-goers have clearly helped the economy of Nuevo Leone. The Gay pride festival will be held in Crystal Park this June, 9th lasting until June, 11th.

Increase in Military funding
The government of Nuevo Leone has recently passed legislation increasing military and police funding due to the ever increasing crime rate and the vulnerability of our borders. Some citizens have protested against this act because it will mean producing more weapons and machines of war. The president of Nuevo Leone, Fransua Mandela, issued this statement in hopes of ending the protests. "In these troubled times, we must look towards keeping our national security a main priority. In the past 2 years the rate of illegal immigration, drug trafficking, and crime has increased rapidly due to our lack of military and police funding. I can assure you this act will greatly reduce all of these problems as it does mean better equipment, better training and more soldiers and police officers on the job to prevent these problems from re-emerging again". Only time will tell if the increase in military funding was truly worth it.

Snapple: The pride of Nuevo Leone
For the past 10 years Snapple has been considered the nation's most highly purchased beverage. In the past 2 years alone 5 Snapple factories have been opened. In the past 8 years, over 40. It is evident that this beverage has created many jobs across the country, and has quenched the thirst of millions of Leonians. Everyone has their own reasons for liking the drink, but no one knows how this love affair between the Leonian people and Snapple started. Atleast to the citizens of Nuevo Leone, snapple is truly "Made from the best stuff on earth".

[The Grand Millian]

braking news: The Empire has just finished integrated the former nation of The Mudkip, about 35 of the former nation of Doofenia puppets, and part of the former nation of Doofenia it self. Fearther additions to The Empire are all of the former nation of Doofenia, Potato world 2, and the rest of Doofenia's puppets

[Zeppy]

((OoC: If this thread does well as the main NS News Thread, it could be stickied. We will have to see though.))

[Wikipedia and Universe]

Westboro Baptists Attempt to Crash Pride Parade and Clash With Riot Police

The Pride Parade makes its way down Nicholas Faust Street.

This month, the annual series of major Gay Pride Parades is being held across the country, with the largest festivities being held in Olivia. This week the Wikipedian chapter of the Westboro Baptist Church engaged in an unauthorized rally, in which they blocked the Pride Parade and began to toss stones and pieces of asphalt at peaceful Pride participants before moving back.

WBC members picket the Pride event before attacking.

They tailed the parade and one threw an improvised Molotov cocktail made from a gallon milk jug. It was at this point that riot police were called in to handle the situation and protect the Pride Parade. Police led WBC rioters a street away from the Pride Parade and deployed tear gas and sound cannons to disperse the rioters before conducting a baton charge. The Westboro rioters reacted by smashing the glass window of a sex shop and storming it, pinning the shop clerk to the wall and nearly strangling him to death before riot police broke it up with stingball grenades.

Riot police stand guard and prepare to confront Westboro Baptist rioters.

The rioters that were not arrested fled, but later blocked the entrance to a library that was on top of a hill. They began chanting litanies such as "We will stand, we will fight, stop supporting sodomites!" and throwing chairs and a picnic table at the police before making their way to the bottom of the hill, where they were pursued by police. More tear gas canisters, smoke grenades, and stingballs were thrown at the rioters, who proceeded to seek out and attack the Pride parade. Police then formed a line protecting the parade and conducted a forward baton charge at the rioters, who then finally dispersed. Later that night picketers were found in front of the home of a homosexual couple, demanding that they be evicted because of their sexuality. When they attempted to break in and ignored orders to stay on the sidewalk and step away from the house, foam was sprayed over the picketers to cloud visibility while police forcibly removed them from the premises. However, the Pride events are scheduled to continue normally this month.

[Abanhfleft]

First Trendstarter in Space


Major Simbaldt Singelert with Trendstart Governor-General Bob Rodinee

VIKRANT, TRENDSTART - Major Simbaldt Singelert is now the first Trendstart national in space. His spacecraft, the Hawk 17, was launched from the Boz Desalitt Space Center onboard a modified A-1 rocket. He is expected to complete thirty orbits around the planet before he returns. He is tasked to accomplish some scientific projects concerning plant growth in zero gravity and to rendezvous with a communications satellite that has failed to completely open its solar panels. Major Singelert is the fourteenth Fleftic national in space, and is a friend of Governor-General Bob Rodinee, leader of the Colony of Trendstart.


Launch of the Hawk 17

[Binary Load Lifters]

Citizen 1 Undergoes Experimental Surgery To Remove Malignant Tumours

CITY 1 - The leader and Head of State of Binary Load Lifters, Citizen 1, is due to take leave of office to travel to City 3 Hospital to meet Chief of Oncology Burt Turson. Dr Turson will be leading the surgical team, made up of experts in their fields, to attempt to treat Citizen 1s cancer, which has been confirmed by previous doctors to be in the terminal phase. Due to Citizen 1s age of 77, the head anaesthetist will use a new and powerful form of spinal block, rather than general anaesthetic to control the pain, which will mean that Citizen 1 will be fully conscious throughout the procedure. No figures have yet been estimated of the chance of success of this new procedure, or the chance that Citizen 1 will survive the process.

Dr Turson addressed us at a conference at the hospital: "Myself, and all the staff assigned to the welfare of our leader will do our best to ensure that everything will go to plan. Our duty to him is his wellbeing and comfort. I, myself, have over 30 years of experience in this field of medicine and we have decades upon decades of experience from the team combined. Citizen 1 is in best hands."

Prior to his trip to the hospital, the following statement from Citizen 1s office read this short statement: "Dear Citizens. You may be aware of my current state of health, which had, regrettably, continued in its decline. Without action, this would worsen, which could leave me very ill for a long period of time. During my time in office, I have championed healthcare for all, which is now something I can take advantage of. This experimental surgery could extend the life of many others, and improve the quality of that life also. While I am away from office, as per protocol, you will be governed by the Emergency Executive Council, who are people I trust to make decisions on my behalf. Rest assured, this will still mean business as usual. I look forward, after my recovery, to return to my office."

[Trendstart]

THE COLONY OF TRENDSTART CONGRATULATES SIMBALDT SINGELERT AS THE FIRST TRENDSTARTER IN SPACE!


A picture of Major Singelert inside his spaceship

The entire colony rejoices as Major Simbaldt Singelert, a citizen of the newly-incorporated Antslinngs Islands, waves at them above their heads as he circles the planet. Major Singelert is the son of a factory worker, and a veteran of the 2008 Abanhfleft Catholic Revolution. He joined the Trendstart space program, which was funded by the Abanhfleft Congress, soon after revolution's end, when he was selected for the fifth flight into space. But, his flight was canceled when funds were reduced. He finally flew onboard a Fleftic spacecraft today, June 3, 2010, at 12:57 pm.

[Tutlingburg]

Today's Most Popular Stories

Forest Fires Continue To Threaten City

More Hollyside residents were evacuated toady, as the largest of three forest fires near the city, encroached on an outer suburb. These latest evacuations bring the total number of evacuees to over 5000. Firefighters from across the country continue to try and halt the blaze, both from the ground and from the air. Their efforts so far have been hampered by the hot and dry conditions, and high winds. Already, ten homes have been destroyed by flames and many others are at risk. Another problem which has arisen is the large clouds of smoke which have drifted across the country, lowering air quality in many different cities.

Country-Wide Cell Phone Blackout Causes Confusion

At approximately 10:35 yesterday morning, the entire Tutlingburg cellular network was disputed. The first disruptions were reported in the eastern half of the country, and continued to spread until the entire country was without cell service. Wired telephone and Internet services were not affected. As mysteriously as the event began, service was restored around 12:15 PM. FlashNet Communications, the largest provider of cellular technology in Tutlingburg, was unwilling to comment on the event. The federal government was also unwilling to comment, although a senior administration official in the Department of Defense, was quoted as saying they are looking at all possibilities,"...including Cyber-Terrorism."

Prime Minister's Daughter Arrested

Amanda Browning, daughter of Prime Minster Robert Browning, was arrested last night outside an Ilseham bar. Ms. Browning was apparently involved in an altercation with another woman outside the bar and was arrested by local police. The Prime Minster's office refused to comment, not wanting to interfere in an open case. This isn't the first time, Ms. Browning has been in trouble with the law, she was arrested two years ago, at a anti-police brutality rally, and was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Those charges were eventually dropped.

[Jeuna]

A sampling from today's headlines:

Photographer captures decadence of young Franberrian elite
Enthusiasts build replica of 20th century Praetonian battleship
Qiao authorities consider breaking silence on musical miscreants
Jeunese 2010 summer tea festival schedule
Ishidran conflict winding down, victory declared
Juno-Aequatian relationship bears rethinking
Summer rainy season brings flooding in rural Xiuhunan
The Tieshan Fringe Festival (Day 4)

[TurtleShroom]

VIXEN NEWS

GRAND ALCOHOLIC TRIBUNAL: SACRAMENTAL WINE FALLS UNDER PROHIBITION

• Jonesboro - Vixen News:

A big blow was delivered today to assorted religious sects and immigrants used to using alcohol in their sacraments, offerings, and rituals, particularly that of Catholic Christians. The Grand Alcoholic Tribunal has narrowly declared sacramental wine to be under Prohibition, and therefore, it can not exist in TurtleShroom.

GAT Chief Justice, Weiser James, talking during a
photo shoot. His fellow judges were not present
at this time.

The high court ruled today in a 9-8 decision that the alcoholic contents of sacramental wine were consumed in a manner that, if unsupervized, "can cause drunkeness", and that, regardless of the usual commitments to religious freedom, "this wine, holy or not, is wine, and like all wine, it should be banned due to our country's consitutional Prohibition".

His Soberness and Headmaster of the Ministry of Prohibition, Chief Justice Weiser James, joined the other eight dissenters in this ruling.

"I reckon that the opinion of tha other nine is that all wine gets ya'll drunk, and it must be outlawed." the highest chief judge stated in an interview, "-but I beg ta diffuh. The wine used in them cathedrals is strictly regulated and can't get nobody drunk, 'cause it's used once a week in small cups. Bannin' it is a harmful affront 'ta religious freedoms normally held dear by these faiths in TurtleShroom. The international community isn't 'gonna be pleased 'bout this."

The other nine justices disagree with the dissenters.

"They can always use grape juice." they repsponded.




According to a survey taken by the TurtleShroom Great Census, four out of five of all surveyed Catholic churches already use grape juice anyway, but those who still use sacramental wine will be enraged at this decree. As with any banned alcohol, getting caught is two weeks in prison, doubled every sentance.

An unrelated court case several months ago declared hand sanatizer to be legal under Prohibition, as did one regarding rubbing alcohol.


-Ken Henderson, Reporter.
VIXEN NEWS: Where our motto is, 'Report it All Correctly, then Spin it with Your Conservative Opinion'!!

[Zeppy]

Zepese Broadcasting News
[English] - [Arabic] - [Aragonese] - [Basque] - [Catalan] - [French] - [Greek] - [Hebrew] - [Italian] - [Latin] - [Spanish]

Early election in Acadia as Benoni defeated

The Premier of Acadia has lost the motion of no-confidence forcing her to resign or call new elections.

By Marcus Jean Baptiste, Acadian Political Editor
Published: 8:15AM GMT 03 June 2010

TOULOUSE - Conservative Premier Anne Benoni of Acadia from Haute-Garonne has lost a parliamentary vote of confidence by a minority of one - forcing her to either resign or call an early general election.

The vote of "no confidence" was brought by the Leader of the Acadian Labor Party Frédéric Mas, Member of the Acadian Parliament from Monaco and the government's downfall was announced at 22:19 ZST.

Premier Anne Benoni has lost a vote of
confidence.

The Acadian Parliament carried the Labor motion by 127
votes to 126, as the motion was support by Bloc Occitana, forcing Mrs. Benoni into an election by Parliament.

An election could be called as early as 10 July although Labor are pushing for 26 June.

Mrs. Benoni, who will remain in office until she wins a new mandate or is defeated in the election, remained defiant as she spoke to Parliament following the result.

"Mr. Presiding Officer, now that Parliament has declared itself, we shall take our case to the Canton," she said.

She will meet Governor Marie Poitou-Charentes at the Governor's Mansion to ask for Parliament to be dissolved "as soon as essential business can be cleared up".

Frédéric Mas MP has led the vote of
non-confidence.

"I will announce as soon as maybe - and that will be as soon as possible - the date of dissolution, the date of the election, and the date of the new meeting of the new Parliament," the Governor said.

Mrs. Benoni, who had waited tensely for the result, said: "We shall facilitate any business which requires the opposition."

Labor MPs cheered jubilantly in Norman, Breton and Occitan after the result waving red papers, while Conservative somberly rose and left
the Chamber shouting in French.

At least 17 working days must elapse between the Governor's Proclamation of an election and polling day.

Labor expect the dying government to dissolve Parliament by the weekend.

The Governor, who has the right to choose the election date, is expected to call it on 10 July.

Nouvelles Radio-Zepese
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Début des élections en Acadie comme Benoni défait

Le premier ministre de l'Acadie a perdu la motion de censure forçant à démissionner ou de convoquer de nouvelles élections.

Par Jean-Baptiste Marcus, rédacteur en chef politique acadien
Publié: 8:15 am GMT 03 Juin 2010

TOULOUSE - Le premier ministre conservateur Anne Benoni de l'Acadie de la Haute-Garonne a perdu un vote de confiance du Parlement par une minorité d'un - la forcer à démissionner ou déclencher des élections générales anticipées.

Le vote de "pas confiance" a été introduit par le chef de l'Acadien du Parti travailliste Mas Frédéric, membre du Parlement acadien de Monaco et de la chute du gouvernement a été annoncée à 22:19 ZST.

Le premier ministre Anne Benoni a perdu
un vote de confiance.

Le Parlement acadie adopté la motion du travail par 127 voix contre 126, que la motion a été l'appui du Bloc occitana de l'Acadie, obligeant Mme Benoni dans une élection par le Parlement.

Une élection pourrait être appelé dès le 10 Juillet Bien que le travail sont pour le 26 Juin pousser.

Mme Benoni, qui restera en fonction jusqu'à ce qu'elle
remporte un nouveau mandat ou s'il est défait aux élections,
est resté rebelle, tandis qu'elle parlait au Parlement après le résultat.

"Mme le président, maintenant que le Parlement s'est prononcé, nous prendrons notre cas dans le canton, dit-elle.

Elle rencontrera le gouverneur Marie Poitou-Charentes à la Maison du Gouverneur pour demander que le Parlement soit dissous "dès que les affaires essentielles peuvent être résolus".

Frédéric Mas député a entraîné
le vote de pas confiance.

"Je vais annoncer dès que peut-être - et ce sera dès que possible - la date de dissolution, la date de l'élection et la date de la nouvelle réunion du nouveau Parlement, a affirmé le gouverneur.

Mme Benoni, qui avait attendu tendu pour le résultat, a déclaré: Nous allons faciliter toute entreprise qui exige l'opposition."

Travail députés applaudi avec jubilation dans normands, bretons et occitans après le résultat agitant documents rouge, tout
conservateur sombre leva et quitta la chambre en criant en français.

Au moins 17 jours ouvrables doit s'écouler entre l'annonce du gouverneur de l'élection et le jour du scrutin.

Travail attendons du gouvernement mourir de dissoudre le Parlement par le week-end.

Le gouverneur, qui a le droit de choisir la date des élections, on s'attend à ce qu'il appel le 10 Juillet.

[Cheona]

GRAND OPENING: FIRST AVIATION INDUSTRY IN CHEONA
Reported by: Mrs. Shun Xian-Il



Yesterday, 09.12 AM

Greetings all happiness Cheona citizens. Yesterday was be a nice day for us, because we was open the FIRST aviation industry for our need. This aviation industry named Jialing Aviation Enterprise was open for bussines today. The JAE CEO, Mr. Robert Sung (third by right) said very honour to lead this aviation indsutry and always try to gain relationship between other aviation industry in around the world.

"For now, we must gain relationship between other aviation industry in around the world. First for all, we must build a citizen airplane. Then, if we get enough supply, workers, and tech, we can build own produced military aircraft..." said Mr. Robert Sung.

This is the hope of all of us to make this country become self-reliant industry, especially aviation industry like this.

[Binary Load Lifters]

Citizen 1 Recovering Well

After major surgery yesterday to remove malignant tumours from his body, Citizen 1 is recovering well in City 3 Hospital. The tumours were considered by many to be inoperable, however a pioneering technique, developed by Dr. Burt Turson, allowed all the tumours to be removed. Citizen 1s condition is currently stable and could return to office as soon as a fortnight's time. Binary Load Lifters will continue to be governed by the Emergency Executive Committee.

The week's Chair of the Committee, Dorian Hague said: "We give Citizen 1 our best at this time, and await his return so that everything can return to normal. I would also like to convey our sincere gratitude to Dr. Turson and his team for their outstanding effort in treating what many thought was a doomed situation."

[Abanhfleft]

PLANE WITH SENSITIVE CARGO CRASHES


An image of the aircraft in question after the crash

SPRIEKT, MUFEWEK - An NQA Cargo Airbus A340 crashed just in front of the runway of Spriekt International Airport. Why it overshot the runway is currently unknown, although torrential rains earlier may have played a part in the crash. The crew have been identified as Pop Leroom, pilot, and Sarge al-Zarudi, copilot. Both escaped without serious injury. Six barrels of what had been identified as heavy water were also discovered inside the remains of the aircraft. Heavy water is known for use in nuclear reactors, and the Spriekt Nuclear Power Plant confirms that it is due to take in a delivery of heavy water today. Since the power plant has considered the recovered heavy water contaminated, the management has said that it will order another batch from the manufacturers in Xemlice later. This is the first crash of an NQA Cargo aircraft since its inception.


One of the barrels of heavy water recovered from the crash site

Announcement from the Abanfleft News Agency: We would like to apologize for a mistake we have made in our first post. The city of Porcusces is located in the state of Ceneisis, not Dorfdifving. We apologize to the good people of Porcusces, and we thank them for bringing this to our attention.

[Concordant America]

"In other news, the nation has finished constructing the 319 m the Richmond Mega Corporation HQ, which is expected to give out 100,000 jobs, employing those who would otherwise be out in the streets. In main news, Obama has reportedly been killed. And in sports news, there was the roaring Richmond cup in motion, drawing hundreds of thousands of spectators, both cheering for the two sides, the Demolition Democrats and the Roaring Republicans. And that's all for this minute's news and goodbye."

[New Amerik]

NEW AMERIK NIGHTLY
"Telling you what you need to know since 2026!"

Marissa Enriquez - In recent news, hostilities between the Texas Principalities and the Great Plains Union flared up again, as a raid on the Unionite state of Nebraska by the Kansa Principality left twenty three people dead, eight more seriously injured, and a total of fifty three Unionites captured to be sold into slavery by the Texans. This is merely the latest in a set of raids on Unionite states by neighboring Principalities. While Prince Parkinson of the Kansa Principality at first denied the claims that the principality was behind it, stating that "We are certain that this act is due to a rogue group......and we offer our condolences to the family's and people killed in the fighting.", eyewitnesses report official military insignia of the principality were seen on the raiders during the attack. So far, New Amerik has not gotten involved on either side, though the Emperor recently ordered a thousand more of the Guard to be placed on watch duty at the Plague Defense Bastion on the Amerik-Texas border at the Border River, also known as the Mississippi River. It seems likely, however, that New Amerik will likely support the Unionites in case of possible war, and there are rumors that the Emperor is looking to expand New Amerik with the destruction of a rival. King George J. Bush of the Texas Principalities had no comment on the raid, and Califico, California Holdings, and the Elder Cults could not be reached for an opinion.

[TurtleShroom]

58 minutes ago: Following new legislation in TurtleShroom, there is now a private sector based on doomsday devices (TurtleShroom has found 1 easter eggs).

VIXEN NEWS

GOVERNMENT TURNS DOOMSDAY LEVER INTO TOURIST ATTRACTION

• Jonesboro - Vixen News:

late last night, a mysterious Lever appeared in the city park of TurtleShroom's capital of Jonesboro. Written upon it was "Pull the Lever and See the World End". A bomb squad, a group of preachers, and the heads of state themselves were called out to the scene.

Artist's conception of the Lever. In reality, the writing does
not read "Do Not Pull", and it is also seems to have
a casing of marble with gold trim, and stainless steel
inner workings.

The Chancellors were both clear on the idea: don't pull the Lever. However, the others weren't so sure. Various senior citizens had given their input as well.

It seems that this lever, as analyzed by local clerics, might just be the real deal. Christianity holds that in the end times, Jesus Christ would appear out of the sky and wisp away the faithful Christans of the universe. The sinners, meanwhile, are left to die and suffer horrible death plagues. This lever may have had the power to call Christ forth. What would become of the nation and the world? Pulling the lever was too risky, but not pulling the lever seemed too agnostic.

It was then that a wise hot dog vendor brought forth his suggestion. Why not encase the lever in plexiglass, station a soldier, and turn it into a tourist trap? That way, tourists could SEE an item that could end the world, but they couldn't touch it. A nice profit turned out.

So far, one hundred thousand people have already come to see the Lever of Doom in its first day alone. If this crowd keeps up, new facalities may be needed to accomodate the tourists. There goes the city park, but in comes money!

Currently, the maintenance and guarding of the Lever of Doom is vested upon the Ministry of Domestic Affairs. However, they eagerly hope to transfer this operation to the private sector for ease of upkeep.
The soldier, however, will continue to live near and protect the Lever from anyone stupid enough to pull it.

The lever, a giant vertical knife switch, is an impressive contraption in its own right. Encased in a box of solid fine marble and trimmed in fine gold with a handle of stainless steel and a cross on top, this was no cheap item to produce. It is estimated that it would take three humans, seven turtles, or twelve mushrooms to pull it down and "end the world".

The Lever can be seen between the hours of 9:00 AM and 10:00 PM, closed Sundays. Look to new Doomsday Exhibits, soon to come, including an authentic (decommissioned) TurtleShroom nuclear warhead and a vial of deadly biological warfare salmonella!


-John Doe, Journalist.
VIXEN NEWS: Where our motto is, 'Report it All Correctly, then Spin it with Your Conservative Opinion'!!

[Zeppy]

Zepese Broadcasting News
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Tunisian Minister defends education cuts

Tunisian Education Minister Muhammad Pasha has defended the government's policy on school budgets.

By Riyad Mustafa Fahmi, Tunisian Political Editor
Published: 9:15AM GMT 04 June 2010

TRIPOLI - It follows a number of resignations from the education boards over cuts set at millions of Zepros.

Protesters claim that the budget cuts will affect the most vulnerable children.

However, Mr Pasha argued that the Socialist Party-led government was spending 54% more on education than it did five or six years ago under the Labor-led government.

11 Members of the Tunisian Parliament have sent a letter to Premier Dariush Mehmet demanding the resignation of the Education Minister or a motion of no confidence will be introduced.

Tunisian Education Minister Muhammad Pasha
is attacked over education cuts.

"I accept that it is not helpful to tell people that they have to live within their budget," Mr Pasha said.

"The real question is why did they (the Assembly Members who protested) not feel like this five or six years ago?

"We are now spending 54% more on education than we were then. If it is so bad now, why were these Assembly Persons not protesting then?"

Earlier this week, eight Board of Education Members resigned in protest after the Ifriqiyah Education Board voted for a Ƶ7m package of cuts.

ZBN Tunisian education correspondent Abu Kareem Muhammad said the budget shortfall for the provincial boards are about Ƶ30m.

"We have heard over and over again from boards that we do not want to make these cuts, that Muhammad Pasha is responsible," he said.

"They are all saying this - it is not just one board or a few politicians - it is all of the boards. I have not heard one dissenting voice saying Muhammad Pasha is right and that 'we have to clean up our act'."

[Abanhfleft]

Berrylist National Guard Sends Aircraft To Mezaladbyi Theater


Berrylist National Guard Douglas C-118, registration number 3-AMYR

KING'S HOUSE, BERRYLIST - The Berrylist National Guard is sending over a Douglas C-118 transport aircraft to the rebel state of Mezaladbyi, which has been declaring its independence since 1984. The C-118 will be used for supply transport duties, as well as for troop transports. It took off from King's House Air Force Base with forty support personnel as well as two FGM-148 Javelin anti-tank missiles.

For the benefit of the people monitoring the news, the Mezaladbyi Revolution began on January 8, 1984, when a nuclear device exploded in the capital of Ropudel, killing the governor and most of the Mezaladbyi National Guard troops. A man who calls himself "The Colonel" had claimed responsibility for the attack and taken over the state government, while the vice governor at the time escaped to Abanhfleft and set up a government-in-exile. The war continues to this day.

Frigate Deploys To Mezaladbyi


AFS Sim'b?a U (FF-1006)

SWUKAT, HORLO - The AFS Sim'b?a U, a Jianghu-class frigate, deploys to the Mezaladbyi theater today. She is commanded by Captain Helmut Pilken. This is her third cruise to a combat area.

[Southern United Africa]

Government Forces Battle Dempsey Loyalists in Northern Dianic Republic

After a recent spate of hate-filled attacks from Dempseyist insurgents, led by the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB) and comprising mostly of former SUAMF members and Dempsey loyalists, provisional President Prier Wintle ordered that the military be sent in to intervene. After being quickly built up following the fall of the Dempsey regime (with the aid of the Wikipedian and Epicnopolian militaries), officials stated that the military is ready to perform its duties and actions.

Government forces move into the northern Dianic Republic near the Namibian border.

Just as the Wintle administration makes plans to hold an exposition, study, and mass export of Dempsey-era military hardware, the Dianic Republic military must go into action using recently released SANDF equipment that survived mass destruction by the falling ANC government before Dempsey took power. General Fenyang Nyathi stated that the nation needs to strengthen its military and take a stronger approach to the AWB and Dempsey loyalist insurgents.

"I remember when the AWB stormed the Johannesburg World Trade Center in '93 and nobody did anything. They tried to pull a similar stunt this year when MDISC liberated the city of Durban, and the Wikipedian marines standing guard there gave the AWB a taste of their own ass, even though the Wikipedians were outnumbered. The Epicnopolians made sure that the people of Cape Town were secure while defeating the Dempseyist forces there. Now it is time for us to assume that role. We can not stay idle when these groups attack, we must hold our ground."