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Welcome to the Cube, Bar Between the Universes [Closed]

Where nations come together and discuss matters of varying degrees of importance. [In character]
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A m e n r i a
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Posts: 4306
Founded: Jun 08, 2017
Democratic Socialists

Welcome to the Cube, Bar Between the Universes [Closed]

Postby A m e n r i a » Tue May 03, 2022 1:02 am

Part 1: General Rules


Hello, Amelia

First of all, allow me to welcome you to the team and thank you for applying to work with us. As I have mentioned to you during our interview, this job requires a high level of situational awareness and adherence to rules and standards. The patrons of this establishment come from different dimensions, planets, and universes, and thus have specific and various needs and expectations. As an intern temporarily replacing me, you are more than a bartender. You are here as a companion and confidant to our diverse clientele.

While most of our patrons tend to be peaceful and understanding, this does not mean they are incapable of violence. Therefore, The Cube has a set of rules for all employees to ensure both their safety and customer satisfaction. Your job is to provide our patrons with food and drink while being a shoulder to cry on they can trust. While some regulars have a specific set of rules for serving them, these rules apply to the job in general and must be followed as long as you work here.

1. You are provided with three sets of uniforms, each one consisting of a pair of sunglasses, a white dress shirt, a dark grey vest, a black tie, a silver watch, a belt and a gun holster, a pair of black socks, and a pair of black trousers. Please be sure to wear every single item in one set during your shift as missing one could prove to be dangerous or even fatal. If you are missing any of these items, please contact me immediately.

2. Do not cause damage to my property or disturb the guests staying at the top floor.

3. The Pianist is your only coworker in The Cube and there is a list of current guests under the counter with a picture of them. If you see anyone else prior to opening, leave immediately and contact me.

4. The Pianist may seem like a shy girl, but she is far from harmless. DO NOT anger her.

5. If you see The Pianist taking someone upstairs that is not an employee, allow her, and ignore any screams or calls for help from the top floor. Her contract allows her to do this monthly, and if she doesn't get the satisfaction, she'd turn her attention to the nearest mortal - you. Trust me when I say you do not want this to happen.

6. You will be provided with a fully loaded revolver in every shift, kept in a blue box right under the counter you have chosen to work from. Before opening, At the end of the shift, put the revolver and the box back where you found it. It will be fully loaded and repaired by your next shift, regardless of its condition on your last one.

7. The same goes for every tool and utensil in the establishment. They will be in pristine condition when you begin your shift, regardless of what happened the previous day. Do not concern yourself with their loss or damage. They can be replaced. Your soul cannot.

I understand this might seem overwhelming at first, but it is extremely important that you understand, remember, and follow these rules. Former employees have faced pain or even death for us to be able to obtain such information, and even myself. We are here to serve our customers, but that doesn't mean we should risk our lives more than we need to just to do that. On that note, I welcome you again to the team.

Good luck,

The Barkeeper
Last edited by A m e n r i a on Wed May 04, 2022 6:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
The Empire of Amenria (亚洲帝国)

Sinocentric Asian theocratic absolute monarchy. Set 28 years in the future. On-site factbooks are no longer canon.


Nani!? A rules creepypasta set in R1!?



User avatar
A m e n r i a
Senator
 
Posts: 4306
Founded: Jun 08, 2017
Democratic Socialists

Postby A m e n r i a » Sat May 14, 2022 7:05 am

Part 2: Rules for Serving Jaret and Schrödinger


Hello, Amelia

You might be wondering why we asked you to start working today, as it is neither the start of the week nor the start of the month. TO be completely honest, I'd rather have you begin on Monday, but Saturdays are when a particular set of customers I'd like you to meet would most likely visit.

As I mentioned before, each regular here has a set of rules specific to them, and special risks associated with them. Below is a list of rules and information on the two regulars you'll probably be meeting tonight to maximize a successful evening. Be sure to prepare accordingly.

Regular order:

Salt and chili tofu with steamed rice and a side of celery, cauliflower, cucumbers, papaya leaves, and cassava leaves and a beverage consisting mix of skimmed milk, honey, one chicken egg yolk, and ginger for Jaret and a bowl of Golden Gertrude brand cat food with another bowl of pure fresh water from Zannam for Schrödinger.

Customer Description:

Jaret appears to be a slim man in his mid twenties to early thirties (although he's probably much older, considering he mentioned memories from early as 2000), with very short hair you would think he's bald if you see him from far enough. He's often seen wearing loose clothing, with his favourite outfit consisting of a light blue hoodie over a white T-shirt and blue jeans and a pair of black sneakers. He is often seen wearing a pair of blue-rimmed glasses. Schrödinger looks like a male calico manx around the age of 3-4 years old. His eye colour shifts and changes in rapid succession with blue, green, yellow, and orange being the colours his eyes are most often seen in, although purple, pink, and black eyes for him are not unheard of.

Rules for serving:

1. Both Jaret and Schrödinger are respected patrons of this establishment. Just because the latter looks like a cat, doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to him or that you can leave him out of conversations. When you welcome one, welcome the other, and make sure to thank both after they have paid for their order.
2. You will be able to understand Schrödinger's meows, as well as his other attempts at communication. Don't ask me how, even I don't know.
3. Schrödinger doesn't mind being pet, but be sure to put your hand in front of his face for him to sniff before you do. You wouldn't like to be randomly hugged by someone you just met, would you?
4. Schrödinger might rub his head against your hand, your legs, or other parts of your body closest to him. This means he likes you.
5. If Schrödinger suddenly goes quiet and lowers his body as if he was about to pounce, pay attention to his shadow. If it looks as if he has more eyes, tails, and mouths than he should, leave immediately. Don't worry about payment, they are honest entities.
6. Even when Jaret is alone, refrain from saying anything negative about cats in general, especially Schrödinger. The two have a deep bond and have saved each other's lives in several occassions, and Jaret wouldn't take kindly to anyone badmouthing the creature that saved him from the terrible and unworldly fate he was forced to endure decades ago.
7. Both Jaret and Schrödinger are normally very friendly and polite, but they're easily offended by insults against animals.
8. Avoid the topic of rivers when talking with Jaret. He has bad memories associated with them.
9. If Schrödinger hisses, growls, or yowls in your general direction, duck immediately and hope he gets whatever is behind you before it gets you.
10. If you've served the duo for long enough, Schrödinger might roll over and show you his belly. This is NOT an invitation to give him a belly rub. Such a luxury is only reserved for his loved ones, and attempting to give him one without being a loved one would be considered an insult. Needless to say, you do not want to insult customers, especially ones who can alter reality itself like him.
11. Jaret will pay for both his own order and Schrödinger's in black marbles with glowing dots and patches of bright colours here and there, making them look like they were made from space itself. Don't worry about change, he always pays the exact amount charged.
12. At the end of their visit, Schrödinger might drop something from his mouth you could've sworn wasn't there before. This item can range from some money, wrapped candy, to even diamonds. This is your tip.

That should be everything you need to know about Jaret and Schrödinger. Considering how they are probably the kindest of all our regulars, I like to introduce new employees to them first. While they are certainly capable of holding their own against the most powerful entities in the Multiverse, they are the least dangerous regulars to you. I feel that introducing them to you will give you a general feel of what this job is like, and if all goes well with the two, you can consider your job mostly secure for as long as our contract stated. When the least dangerous customer is capable of wiping out entire planets, you know this is a job that needs extreme levels of caution.

Good luck and happy serving,

The Barkeeper
The Empire of Amenria (亚洲帝国)

Sinocentric Asian theocratic absolute monarchy. Set 28 years in the future. On-site factbooks are no longer canon.


Nani!? A rules creepypasta set in R1!?




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