SoMac Christmas Fête [OOC, Closed]

[Langenia]

*bonk* Go to procrastination jail.

May we burn for our sins of sloth.

Found this. I have a response. I've already burned enough, can we stop now?

[Socialist Macronesia]

Man, today's been really slow.

[Kiu Ghesik]

Bishop's personality is basically just "your cool gay uncle except he's a terrorist"

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

[Socialist Macronesia]

Bishop's personality is basically just "your cool gay uncle except he's a terrorist"

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

while you're busy developing your characters, I'm busy designing the absolute fusterclucks of

• a silent rotary gun (for stealthy air support because that makes total fucking sense)
• an integrally suppressed bullpup sniper rifle designed to shoot borderline anti-tank rounds
• an ecm unit that's simultaneously a cruise missile, loitering munition, and torpedo

and more

[Langenia]

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

while you're busy developing your characters, I'm busy designing the absolute fusterclucks of

• a silent rotary gun (for stealthy air support because that makes total fucking sense)
• an integrally suppressed bullpup sniper rifle designed to shoot borderline anti-tank rounds
• an ecm unit that's simultaneously a cruise missile, loitering munition, and torpedo

and more

Hey, since small arms is my Achilles Heel concerning military hardware I'm gonna be learning some things from your stuff.

[Kiu Ghesik]

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

while you're busy developing your characters, I'm busy designing the absolute fusterclucks of

• a silent rotary gun (for stealthy air support because that makes total fucking sense)
• an integrally suppressed bullpup sniper rifle designed to shoot borderline anti-tank rounds
• an ecm unit that's simultaneously a cruise missile, loitering munition, and torpedo

and more

the difference between our two settings in a nutshell
i allude to the tech because i can't be bothered to write it
you write the tech and can't be bothered to write characters

also

Nate, pointing: May I sit there?
Khensu: That's my lap
Nate: That doesn't answer my question, Khensu.

[Main Nation Ministry]

Bishop's personality is basically just "your cool gay uncle except he's a terrorist"

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

That quote generator is brutal as hell.

[Kiu Ghesik]

i cannot wait to write this motherfucker
it's gonna be glorious

kovalova: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
brittany: Nope, absolutely not.
delisle: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
bishop: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
sidorov: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
van heerden: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

That quote generator is brutal as hell.

tbf it is just like 50% transcriptions of vines i think
i don't care, though, it's a fuckin trip down memory lane

Kovalova: Nathaniel Bishop, my old arch enemy.
Brittany: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Kovalova: I have a life outside of you, Sacha.

[Main Nation Ministry]

Kovalova: Nathaniel Bishop, my old arch enemy.
Brittany: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Kovalova: I have a life outside of you, Sacha.

Me want link.

[Brettenwald]

That quote generator is brutal as hell.

tbf it is just like 50% transcriptions of vines i think
i don't care, though, it's a fuckin trip down memory lane

Kovalova: Nathaniel Bishop, my old arch enemy.
Brittany: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Kovalova: I have a life outside of you, Sacha.

Marco: We need to get through this locked door. Paris, give me your credit card.
Paris: Here.
Marco, pocketing it: Thanks. Helena, kick down the door.

[Kiu Ghesik]

Kovalova: Nathaniel Bishop, my old arch enemy.
Brittany: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Kovalova: I have a life outside of you, Sacha.

Me want link.

here

van Heerden: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Kovalova: Wasn't Bishop with you?
Bishop: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Kovalova: WHY. why did you give Bishop a KNIFE!?
van Heerden: I’m sorry. He said he felt unsafe.
Kovalova: Now I feel unsafe!
van Heerden: I’m sorry.
van Heerden: ... would you like a knife?

Brittany: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

A. Rudin: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

[Brettenwald]

Marco: Bye Khensu! Bye Ross! Bye Nate! Bye Etor! Bye Khensu!
Ross: You said ‘bye Khensu’ twice.
Marco: I like Khensu.

[Kiu Ghesik]

Marco: Bye Khensu! Bye Ross! Bye Nate! Bye Etor! Bye Khensu!
Ross: You said ‘bye Khensu’ twice.
Marco: I like Khensu.

Nate: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Patyu Literally everyone: Nate, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

[Main Nation Ministry]

Leader: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

Leader: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Keller: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Leader: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Leader, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Keller: How?
Leader: How what?
Keller: How could they be worse?
Leader: They couldn’t, I lied.
Keller:

Leader: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Keller: How can you still say that?
Leader: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Leader: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Jessica: It’s not a joke.
Jessica: *sniffles*
Jessica: I’m a legit snack.

Leader: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Jessica: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Leader: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Leader: I prevented a murder today.
Jessica: Really? How’d you do that?
Leader: self control.

[The Polar Nation]

Irma Jones: Violence isn't the answer.
Sami Sessersuaq: You’re right.
Irma Jones: *sighs in relief*
Sami Sessersuaq: Violence is the question.
Irma Jones: What?
Sami Sessersuaq, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Irma Jones, running after her: NO-

Irma Jones: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Sami Sessersuaq: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Vali Andersson: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Sami Sessersuaq: Isn't that just killing people?
Vali Andersson: Ah, technicality.

Vali Andersson: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Sami Sessersuaq: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Vali Andersson: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Irma Jones: Sami Sessersuaq, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!
Sami Sessersuaq: Well of course I have.
Sami Sessersuaq: Have you ever tried going mad without power?
Sami Sessersuaq: It's boring.

[Kiu Ghesik]

Ari: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Ross: You and me!!!
Ari, tearing up: Okay.

Khensu: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Nate: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Khensu: No! Four to five seconds!
Nate: Too late!!!

[Brettenwald]

Marco: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Marco: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Paris: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Marco: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Marco: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Helena: That's why I carry two swords.

[Brettenwald]

Marco: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Aurelia: 'Prettiest Smile'
Catyu: 'Nicest Personality'
Ross: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Nate: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Oh crap, another distraction for the Procrastination Overlord.

Alastair: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Alastair and Marie, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Kamile: Our turn, Ari! One, two, three- vanilla!
Ari, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Alastair: Dammit, Marie!
Marie: What?! It wasn’t me!
Alastair: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Kamile!
Kamile: Not me either.
Alastair: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Ari: *whistles*

Alastair: Yo is Ari sleeping or dead?
Marie: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Ross: Yeah, so did I.
Ari: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Alastair: Marie, I'm sad.
Marie: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.
Ross: Wilhelm, I'm sad.
Wilhelm, nodding: mood.

Alastair: I think Paris was right.
Diego: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Marco: They wouldn't do that.
Paris: You're right, Marco. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Paris: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Paris Told You So' on the back*

Alastair: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Diego: Plane tickets?
Marco: Concert tickets?
Paris: Prostitution?
Alastair, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

Alastair: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Marie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Wilhelm: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Ophelia: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Alastair: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

I'm done for now.

[Brettenwald]

Alastair: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Diego: Plane tickets?
Marco: Concert tickets?
Paris: Prostitution?
Alastair, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

I'm done for now.

_{marco's waaaaaay more likely to say prostitution than paris for canon reasons}

Also, the DC Metro's proposed 2021-22 service changes would shut down stations and reduce service on bus routes I use a lot and I'm in the middle of angrily responding to a survey about it.

[Romextly]

Diego: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Alastair: If?
Furia: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

[spoiler=In Diego's Defense he was drunk]Diego, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alastair, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Furia: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Diego: playing systemic oppression[/spoiler]

Diego, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Furia: You did WHAT–
Alastair: William Snakepeare

Diego: I trust Alastair.
Furia: You think they know what they're doing?
Diego: I wouldn't go that far.

Diego: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Alastair does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
Furia: If Alastair were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Alastair jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Diego: You jump off a cliff!
Furia: Gladly. Provided Alastair did first.

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Diego: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Alastair: If?
Furia: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

[spoiler=In Diego's Defense he was drunk]Diego, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alastair, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Furia: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Diego: playing systemic oppression[/spoiler]

Diego, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Furia: You did WHAT–
Alastair: William Snakepeare

Diego: I trust Alastair.
Furia: You think they know what they're doing?
Diego: I wouldn't go that far.

Diego: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Alastair does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
Furia: If Alastair were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Alastair jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Diego: You jump off a cliff!
Furia: Gladly. Provided Alastair did first.

Your prompt:
Alastair: I just ended a four year relationship.
Wilhelm: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Alastair: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Marie and Ophelia fighting from across the room*

Alastair: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Marie: Alastair no.
Wilhelm: Mistlefoe.
Marie: Please stop encouraging him.

Alastair: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Marie: Wasn't Wilhelm with you?
Wilhelm: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

*The squad is having dinner together*
Alastair: Marie, can you pass the salt?
Marie: *Throws Wilhelm across the table*

[Romextly]

Diego: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Alastair: If?
Furia: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

[spoiler=In Diego's Defense he was drunk]Diego, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alastair, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Furia: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Diego: playing systemic oppression[/spoiler]

Diego, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Furia: You did WHAT–
Alastair: William Snakepeare

Diego: I trust Alastair.
Furia: You think they know what they're doing?
Diego: I wouldn't go that far.

Diego: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Alastair does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
Furia: If Alastair were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Alastair jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Diego: You jump off a cliff!
Furia: Gladly. Provided Alastair did first.

Your prompt:
Alastair: I just ended a four year relationship.
Wilhelm: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Alastair: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Marie and Ophelia fighting from across the room*

Alastair: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Marie: Alastair no.
Wilhelm: Mistlefoe.
Marie: Please stop encouraging him.

Alastair: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Marie: Wasn't Wilhelm with you?
Wilhelm: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

*The squad is having dinner together*
Alastair: Marie, can you pass the salt?
Marie: *Throws Wilhelm across the table*

[spoiler=You wanna go?]Diego: Today is a day of running through hurdles.
Furia: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?
Diego: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
[/spoiler]

Alastair: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Diego: Stop romanticizing the past.

Alastair: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Furia: I'm a knife.
Diego, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

Diego, negotiating with Alastair: We have Furia. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
Furia: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?
Diego:
Furia: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Diego: FURIA STOP

[Langenia]

Diego: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Alastair: If?
Furia: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

[spoiler=In Diego's Defense he was drunk]Diego, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alastair, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Furia: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Diego: playing systemic oppression[/spoiler]

Diego, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Furia: You did WHAT–
Alastair: William Snakepeare

Diego: I trust Alastair.
Furia: You think they know what they're doing?
Diego: I wouldn't go that far.

Diego: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Alastair does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
Furia: If Alastair were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Alastair jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Diego: You jump off a cliff!
Furia: Gladly. Provided Alastair did first.

Your prompt:
Alastair: I just ended a four year relationship.
Wilhelm: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Alastair: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Marie and Ophelia fighting from across the room*

Alastair: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Marie: Alastair no.
Wilhelm: Mistlefoe.
Marie: Please stop encouraging him.

Alastair: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Marie: Wasn't Wilhelm with you?
Wilhelm: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

*The squad is having dinner together*
Alastair: Marie, can you pass the salt?
Marie: *Throws Wilhelm across the table*

[spoiler=You wanna go?]Diego: Today is a day of running through hurdles.
Furia: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?
Diego: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
[/spoiler]

Alastair: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Diego: Stop romanticizing the past.

Alastair: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Furia: I'm a knife.
Diego, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

Diego, negotiating with Alastair: We have Furia. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
Furia: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?
Diego:
Furia: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Diego: FURIA STOP

Oh man, this made my day

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

When you don't want to work on your paper:

https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1515140