Worldvision Song Contest 87 | OOC | Sign-ups CLOSED

[WorldVision Committee]

CONTEST THREAD

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Most Recent Winner: Scotatrova | 252 points | Oreo City-Antahbrantahstan

NSWiki article | IIWiki article

WorldVision Directory

WorldVision & WHF Discord Chat
(currently active, tbh we live on here)

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IMPORTANT DATES
Host Voting Open - Monday, 21st December, 20:00 GMT
Sign Ups Close; Host Voting Close, IC Thread Up - 28th December, 20:00 GMT
Deadline for Entries; Voting Begins - 11th January, 20:00 GMT
Voting Closes - 18th January, 20:00 GMT

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Hello!

Welcome to the WorldVision Song Contest, based on the Eurovision Song Contest, aiming to provide and unite nations from different parts of the World through music. The WorldVision Song contest is an outlet to showcase the popular or native music of your nation. As with every contest, there are a few simple rules and regulations that you'll need to follow. If you're new, continue on to the FAQ/Guide To WorldVision! If you are simply looking for the rules, look no further than the box below:

WorldVision Rulebook

As it was introduced prior to the start of '79, the same strike system for punishments will be in effect, where players breaking certain contest rules will receive strikes depending on the severity.

• One Strike: No immediate consequences;
  
• Two Strikes: One-contest ban;
• Three Strikes: Two-contest ban.
• Strikes expire after five editions; however, a strike expiring during a ban does not edit or shorten it.
• Bans stack; that is, a nation reaching three strikes within one edition is immediately banned for the following three editions.
• Bans erase strikes once they are completed.
  
  Here are the following issues that can net you a strike:
  
  One strike:
  
  • Not voting in the contest (will also disqualify a contestant from competing)
  • Changing votes without Worldvision Committee supervision.
  • Posting halftime results when not the host or WVC & refusing to remove results (which also results in disqualification)
  • Posting an incomplete entry.
  • Not declaring a new puppet, or when transferring ownership of a puppet.
  
  Two strikes:
  
  • Engaging in tactical voting.
  • Intentionally refusing to vote.
  • Attempts to evade a ban.
  • Entering more than one puppet in the contest.

FAQ / Guide To WorldVision

I'm new here, how does this all work?

Welcome! Here at WorldVision, we write our own lyrics to existing songs, then vote on them! Many of us write performances and background information on the performer as well. This contest is based heavily on the Eurovision Song Contest, so it helps a lot if you're familiar with it! One major difference from it is that the winner doesn't host the next contest- here we have people bid each edition to host the next contest.

That sounds fun! How do I sign up?

Signing up is simple! You can fill out and post the application below, or simply state your interest in joining. If you do use the application, you don't need to fill everything in.

Code: Select all

[b]Nation Name:[/b] Your nation's name goes here.
[b]Official Broadcaster:[/b] Your official broadcaster for WV goes here.
[b]Song Title:[/b] The IC Song title goes here.
[b]Artist(s) Name(s):[/b] The name of your act goes here.

[b]Tune:[/b] The real-life tune you're basing your song on goes here.


This is all so exciting! I want to host!

In order to host, you need to have fully participated once, especially to get the feel of how the contest runs. While you wait, you can look at current bids to learn how good bids look like. If you've signed up before host voting has begun, then you can vote for the host! Once you've finished a contest, you can bid for host, as long as you don't vote for your own.

How do I write an entry?

Writing an entry is just a bit more work than Alexander Rybak makes it seem. Most of us use an existing song as a tune, which we usually link through YouTube, and rewrite the lyrics so that they are original- which means that we wrote them ourselves and did not copy the real lyrics (at least 80% should be your own, which is generally easy if you write your own). Translating real lyrics does not count!

To do well, it's best to write a performance and choose a tune that hasn't been used before - don't be afraid to ask us if you're unsure! In addition, it's always good to look at past contests and learn from the winners and highest placed entries.

If you do post a reservation/placeholder post for your entry, please make sure that you finish it with a completed set of lyrics. If you don't finish, or if you don't withdraw on the OOC thread, you will receive a strike, which is explained in the spoiler below this section.

So what comes next? Voting?

Yes, that's right! After the entry deadline, you cannot edit your entry without permission from the Committee. After the host posts the interval act and opens voting, you may post your votes. Just like in Eurovision, you give 12 points to your favorite entry, then 10, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and finally 1 point to your next favorite. Please vote on time!! The host may choose to close voting after the deadline, but if you do not vote on time you will be disqualified.

Next, you do the televote. Here, it means that you open the form that is linked by the host, and rank each entry from 1 to 10, with 1 being worst and 10 being best. Ever since the official implementation of the televote in WV83, everyone's televotes will be revealed by the Committee, so you can see the full breakdown after the contest ends. We use a weighting system to calculate the televotes - this will be changed at the discretion of the committee if the number of 0's exceeds 10% of participating nations (this will be done only for those nations with a score of above -10).

This sounds awesome! I want to enter a puppet nation and write more entries!

You can do that! You may enter a second nation, but make sure you confirm that it is yours in the signups! However with great power comes great responsibility: you can only give a maximum of 5 points to yourself in the jury vote, and only a maximum score of 6 in the televote, and together with your main nation you can only give a maximum of 18 points to another nation.

I do not feel safe or welcome here. What do I do?

If you are bullied, harassed, intimidated/etc by someone within the contest, please contact the Committee or one of its members, and we will ensure confidentiality and analyze the situation. We will deal punishment as deemed appropriate depending on the severity of the offense.

I have more questions! Who do I ask?

If you have more questions you can ask in the thread, join the Discord server linked at the top of this post, or TG the WorldVision Committee. The Discord server is probably where you are going to get the fastest reply.

So basically, be original, try to be fair, don't be a jerk, and have fun. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to TG the Committee - it helps if you add the Committee's individual member names (Beepee, Ethane, Malta Comino Gozo, Nekoni, Todlichebujoku) in the "To:" box along with "WorldVision Committee" for a faster response. DM on Discord also works!

Even if you've missed the deadline or aren't participating, feel free to discuss the contest in this thread or post commentary in the IC. You'll find that we all greatly appreciate some good commentary.

With all that said, welcome to WorldVision!

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Confirmed nations (53)

• Achaean Republic
• Amuaplye
• Antahbrantahstan
• Antenovaria
• Axuva
• Beepee
  - Northern Beepee
• Belgaam
• Britonisea
  - Nightom
• Carrelie
• Crabaiaia
• Ekoz
• Electrum
  - Electrum Diplomatic Offices
• Elejamie
  - Placely Placington
• Ertzei Kishim
• Ethane
• Hafämarimët
  - Oqmet
• Indusse
• Izemdu
• Kalosia
  - Saviera
• Kasanovakoratica
• Llalta
• Malta Comino Gozo
  - Crustyland
• Mister X
  - Missus X
• Natanya
  - Teesdexxia
• Nekoni
  - Kyritakia
• Normandy and Picardy
• North Alezia
  - South Alezia
• Pemecutan
• Rhim Flavezztowland
  - Tohotokai
• Rosmana
• Rusanland
• Saintrabina
  - Christarnea
• Scotatrova
• Spiritual Republic of Caryton
  - Shorestead
• Talvezout
  - Nahlcomo [withdrawn]
• Tödlichebujoku
• Waisnor
• Western Fardelshufflestein
• Zeganas

Have you been left out by mistake? Just TG us!

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National Finals (9)

• Achaean Republic - Casals Sinfónico Popular CLOSED
• Caryton - National Final CLOSED
• Nekoni - Absolution 87 CLOSED
• North Alezia - Alezimania 5 CLOSED
• Polkopia - Landa vy Polkopiya CLOSED
• Rhim Flavezztowland - The Flavezztowlander National Final CLOSED
• Scotatrova - National Final CLOSED
• Talvezout - Talvezout E Mouzeh CANCELLED
• Tödlichebujoku - Sinun Valintasi CLOSED

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Host Bids (3)

• Cityburgh, Placely Placington
• Peeto, Polkopia
• Engium, Scotatrova

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Disqualified Nations (0)


If you have any questions regarding the strike system, please contact the Worldvision Committee and we can assist you.

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[Crabaiaia]

Confirming
Nation Name: Crabaiaia
Official Broadcaster: Musikus Crabja
Song Title: Fedora Haven
Artist(s) Name(s): Borsalinos Topos

Tune: Gangsta's Paradise but pitch is 1.25x

Edit: Topos will feature Bankis Douglasos as his background singer

[Nekoni]

Much like that worrying lump that isn't going away any time soon, Nekoni will be back to clog up the arse end of the table.

But-OOH, WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO?

Do I learn? You're damn right I don't.

[Kyritakia]

Much like that worrying lump that isn't going away any time soon, Nekoni will be back to clog up the arse end of the table. What will I be sending? Who cares.

And I'll inevitably appear and withdraw three hours from the end.

[Malta Comino Gozo]

Malta Comino Gozo confirms participation after a top 5 placing.

Adam Borg is the singer.

Greyson Chance - Dancing Next To Me

[Crustyland]

Crustyland signs up!

Maruv-Suren Song

[Hafamarimyht]

Hafämarimët is back, full details later but the tune is Say Something by Kylie Minogue

[North Alezia]

Lezzy Returns

...ALEZIAN BROADCASTING AUTHORITY PRESENTS...

^CLICK ME FOR THE PLAYLIST IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO ALL THE SONGS FIRST^

Hello and welcome! Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to Tel Hadiv! Where we'll find out who'll be North Alezia's next Worldvision Entry. So, without further ado, here are the list of entries this season

Tel Hadiv is trying to get it for the second time, with the song "No"! Will Kelsi do well enough to guarantee that Tel Hadiv will be the Worldvision Region for this edition?

Tune: RAYE - Natalie Don't
Language: English (Hebrew maybe added)

Definitely not out of the competition, OPAL tried once again with another song in French! She might sound and look less elegant... But It's OPAL. She can always be elegant wherever and whenever she wants. Will she finally break the streak of losing and finally get the ticket?

Tune: Sandrine Francois, Il Faut Du Temps
Language: French

Nearly earning top 10 in Worldvision 84, Mina Al-Diyyah still has the appetite to go once again representing her region that has won three times until Pyalivostok and Tel Hadiv broke their streak. Zafizamarrah as always, is ready for revenge. Will she restart Zafi's streak of winning?

Tune: Fatin- Away
Language: English, Arabic

Having won once, The Russian Region is more than ready to add to their won count. This song is probably might be the most meaningful out of the bunch this whole season. Will Pyalivostok get the trophy again?

Tune: Kazka - Plakala
Language: Russian

After getting 5th last season, Basna is no more "The Laughingstock of Alezia", Basna won't be complacent and put Basna in a very upbeat taste. Will Basna change the prespective of everyone and actually win Alezimania and automatically, the ticket to Worldvision this editon?
Tune: FAITH - Headphones
Language: English, Indonesian

Aramna has a not very good run last edition with placing sadly last. Aramna would try again and North Alezia is looking at this 2000s-feel song to do well. Will that speculation be true?

Tune: Vivi Aldiano - Status Palsu
Language: Aramnan

OOC:
Hello guys, Lez here.

Thank you for your support last edition. I still can't believe you love Idresh Noam-Khaled so much. That 8th place is the second time North Alezia earn a top 10 position, and thus, I'm very happy with it. Thank you once again.
Like usual, there's still a long way to go for Worldvision Glory.
So, The national contest returns!

Other than these 6 regions voting, I need your lovely help to vote for who is the best to represent North Alezia in Worldvision.

Due to the long resting period for WHF. This season (and further seasons until WHF continues production), This season of Alezimania only selects the song for Worldvision Song Contest. For the WHF orchestra edition, we might use Alezimania again but maybe with limited songs.

In order to cast your vote:

Vote 5,6,7,8,10,and 12 to your favorites. 12 to your most favorite, 5 for your least favorite.
After you decide, vote by TG or by DM on my discord, HowDidIGetHere?#5211
Cast your vote by writing your points, then write the region you want to give your points to. For example
XX pts-Basna
XX pts-Zafizamarrah
etc.
You can also vote with the artists name, or songs name, or using all of them!

You can vote until next week (9th of December 2020) around 17:00 PM WITA or around 10:30 AM BST on the same day. If the number of voters are not enough, the deadline will be lengthened by a day.

Thank you, and have a nice day/night
Don't Stop Nooting (sorry Llalta I like that phrase)
-ABA|Lez

Preconfirming South Alezia

[Antahbrantahstan]

Confirming.

Tune: Nogizaka46-Synchronicity

[Beepee]

DELIGHTED TO BE PARTICIPATING ONCE AGAIN...

Following the highly credible 13th place result in Oreo City, the Beepeean Occasional News Corporation is delighted to announce its participation in the 87th edition of WorldVision.


Nation Name: Beepee
Official Broadcaster: Beepeean Occasional News Corporation (BONC)
Song Title: Marry Me
Artist Name: The Goolies

Tune: Die Draufgänger - Marie


Also pre-confirming the return of Northern Beepee

[Achaean Republic]

The Achaean Republic returns after another top-ten placement at Worldvision with a national final!

But this time, it won't be WorldVision: La Final (slated to return for WV88)--rather, the Casals Sinfónico Popular competition will take its place to select a representative for two Multiversal singing competitions.

12 songs were selected to compete in the District of Muñíz's University Auditorium alongside the University of the District of Muñíz Symphony Orchestra in order to represent the nation in the World Hit Festival's special Orchestra Edition! They have also agreed that another representative will be chosen for Worldvision!

1. Ella Habib
Tune: Maya Diab-Baadou

2.Beauchamp feat. Krystal Díaz
Tune: Ricardo Arjona feat. Gaby Moreno-Fuiste Tú

3.Khaleb Chennoui
Tune: Adham Nabulsi - Mish Ayb

4.Andrea Gutiérrez
Tune: Kany García - Aunque Sea Un Momento

5.Grupo Clássico
Tune: Amalia Hoje-Gaivota

6.Fetichera
Tune: Café Tacvba - Eres

7.Avenida Cuatro
Tune: La Quinta Estación - Sueños Rotos

8. Narinho
Tune: Dilsinho - Astronauta

9. Anita Carrasco
Tune: Arilena - Vegim

10. BREAKNESS
Tune: Red - The War We Made

11. Viviana Mercado
Tune: Ednita Nazario - Si No Me Amas

12. Juan Valdéz
Tune: Kinky - Para Que Regreses

TO VOTE: Please use the form and pick your top ten artists from 10 points to 1; two songs will not receive points. You have until Friday, December 10, 2020 at 11:59 PM EST to cast your vote!

[Northern Beepee]

Northern Beepee confirms its participation...


Nation Name: Northern Beepee
Official Broadcaster: KooriTV
Song Title: Goodbye
Artist Name: Miriam

Tune: Michelle - Vorbei Vorbei

[Ertzei Kishim]

Dikla Romanova to Return for Ertzei Kishim

Famous internationally for being robbed by Polkopia voting for himself in WV76 performing in the 76th WorldVision Song Contest held in Roasrio, Dikla achieved an impressive 2nd place. The Kishraeli-Polkopian is now back, solo, with a new song ready to rock the stage at WorldVision. Since her participation there has not been another rock song performed by Ertzei Kishim in the contest... that is about to change. While heavily leaning into the pop-genre, her song "Magniv Od Mabat" (Steal another look) is inspired by 80's rock. While production and writing on the song isn't finalised, Dikla and her team are optimistic about a positive result.

Dikla Romanova - מגניב עוד מבט
Languages: English, Hebrew
To the tune of: Miley Cyrus - Midnight Sky

[Kalosia]

After a devastating finish, Kalosia confirms participation.

Nation Name: Kalosia
Official Broadcaster: MediTV

Song Title: Lose My Mind
Artist(s) Name(s): DAZHURI

Tune: Sevgingni Menga Ayt — Lola Yuldasheva

Radiu-Televižio Kalosia has agreed to lease the broadcasting and participation rights to the contest to the private broadcaster MediTV, for 3 editions with the possibility of extension.

Also pre-confirming Saviera.

[Indusse]

We are signing up! There isn't any time to be lost!

[Saviera]

Saviera confirms. Kalosia is our master.

Jorts Sirmemes, who represented us at WorldVision 62, is set to return for the nation.

That is, with a gay anthem taken from the German national final for Eurovision 2013, The Righteous Ones by Ben Ivory.

[Elejamie]

Not sure what I'm going to send this time around (whether it be the runner-up from my NF from last time) or if I send something else, but I'm still participating either way.

Also pre-confirming Placely Placington even though I think it's gotten to the point where we all know it's me.

[Oqmet]

Oqmet will return as a puppet of Hafämarimët!

Nation Name: Oqmet
Official Broadcaster: OTV
Song Title: TBA
Artist(s) Name(s): Tëqana Mëlšahrë

Tune: Myahri - Aýterek - Günterek

[Hafamarimyht]

Confirmed!

[Placely Placington]

THE ORIGIN STORY

Over at the WorldVision general broadcaster’s headquarters, they received a package. After scanning it to make sure it wasn’t anything illegal or dangerous or even contaminated, they brought it over to the head honchos who then proceeded to open the box it arrived in. Inside was a video cassette with a couple of blank labels on it and a lot of writing on it: “Dr Who - Marco Polo”, “Hag in a Black Leather Jacket”, “London After Midnight”, “Nobody Ordered Love”, “Saki Sanobashi”, almost all of the writing had been crossed off as if it had been taped over many times. There was one exception, however. A small bit of writing that was just squeezed in that said “Placely Placington WV87 host bid”. A bit unusual but just as long as it actually contained the host bid in question then it should be good enough. The representative from Beepee was fortunate enough to bring out a VCR player and, once everything was set up, the tape was popped in and everyone gathered around to watch it. It might actually have a host bid on it!

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The logo for the contest. Breaking kayfabe here for a brief second because I want to say if there’s any copyright issues or anything like that then please let me know so I can get a different logo made. Sure there’s Fair Use and all that and it’s supposed to be all crappily copied because that’s PP’s ethos but I don’t want to cause any unnecessary hassles.

Some stock music played as the logo played on screen for about 15 seconds. It was completely static, with no effects whatsoever. The music and the logo faded out and instead we’re greeted with Dave McDaverson smoking out of a pipe. He took a couple of smokes from it, letting out long exhales a couple of seconds after each one, before he turned around in his seat and was greeted by the camera. Completely surprised by all of this, he hurriedly threw his pipe to one side and sat up straight. “Hello!” He said, paying no attention to the bit of paperwork that was now starting to catch on fire. “I’m Dave McDaverson, the Chief President Man of Placely Placington.” He then pointed down at what would’ve been the bottom of the screen and moved his hand around. There wasn’t a caption on screen to show it, the budget didn’t stretch that far. “And I want to tell you why Placely Placington should host the 87th WorldVision Song Contest. Sure we’ve all heard the news reports about mass corruption, widespread epidemics, high death rates and mass stupidity but those are all lies! There’s so much more to Citysburgh and Placely Placington and I want you all to take a tour with me.”

PART ONE: THE COUNTRY

We then get a title screen with the above phrase and a repeat of the same stock music from earlier. Then we now cut to the middle of Citysburgh. It just looks like your bog-standard American city from any cartoon provided you’ve been watching some really crummy cartoons. In the middle of the shot was Dave, holding both of his thumbs up. “Here we are in Citysburgh.” He said, beginning his bit. “The capital city of Placely Placington. Founded in… some date by… some guy, it’s where we do capital things. It’s our only city, so we do city things here too! And we have plenty of city things here too. And we like to do city things too. We city every day here. We’re the citiest city out there, that’s how much we like to city!”

“Did you forget your lines again, sir?” Television Director asked from behind the camera.

“No!” Dave replied, obviously lying.


Glorious Citysburgh. Absolutely majestic, ain’t it? All credit for bottom right goes to u/northvanseb over on Reddit, as it was originally their picture.

We then cut to a field in the middle of nowhere. Behind Dave McDaverson is Chief Economist standing next to a chain-link fence that’s barely a metre long. Dave looked at the fence behind him before back at the camera. “Over here we have the Eagle Fence.” He said, beginning to explain what the thing was behind him. “We have a problem with eagles dropping pianos onto people, so we had this fence built. It’s six feet high but that’s because we don’t know how to build it any higher. Chief Economist over there is for size comparison by the way.” Chief Economist waved and said something but due to the distance he couldn’t be heard clearly. “On the upside, the holes are small enough to stop any eagles flying through and dropping pianos onto us.” Just as he said that last bit, a piano started to drop out of the sky and it immediately flattened Chief Economist, the resulting loud DOUNG! filling the air. Dave McDaverson grimaced and slowly turned his head to see a piano sticking out of a piano-shaped crater. He then turned to face the camera and then shrugged as he carried on walking, with Television Director following him.

After a two minute walk in complete silence, which would’ve been cut out by a more sane editor, we finally get to a shot of Dave standing right in front of a river. At least, it’s supposed to be a river as I’m not sure if water’s supposed to be that vermilion. There were also a whole load of chalky white mountain-shaped things in the background, one of which appeared to have a mine on it. Dave then spoke again. “And in the background we have The Mountain Range but over down here we have the river. Our River. Look at it, it’s a majestic thing, isn’t it? And the water’s ready and safe for drinking.” He immediately pulled a glass out of nowhere and scooped out some of the water. Then he drank a few glugs before he stopped and moved the glass down. “Ah! Dee-lishus!” He said, his jaw dissolving into dust while he was speaking.


The glorious Placingtonian countryside. Not pictured: a lake that explodes due to the water being contaminated with rubidium.

Once again, we cut back to Dave McDaverson, now with a working jaw again. As we’re walking along, we then see Dave standing outside of a building. In the background, there are sirens as a huge cloud of smoke billows in the distance. “So now I’ve shown you the sights and sounds and scenes of Placely Placington, let’s talk about things to do. We have plenty of cultural things to do here. We have freak pointing, we have waiting in line, we have embez-” Dave immediately paused before speaking again. “Er, buying things. We’re an entirely safe and clean country and rumours about me dying from the coronavirus twice in one day are lies. Lies and slander!”

At that point an actual coronavirus large enough to be visible to the naked eye bobbed up and down as, in the background, it floated past Dave. “Mornin’ Dave!” It said in a deep voice, completely casual as if it was going about its day and wanted to greet someone it knew.

Dave looked a bit miffed at the camera before smiling again. “Anyway, with that out of the picture, I’m sure you’re wondering how we keep coming back despite dying a few times. Follow me.” He walked into the building and Television Director followed him. A few more minutes of walking, they reach a platform with a giant machine directly in front of it and connected by another platform. There were some loud pulsating sounds and a few flashes of green light from the glass display that also acts as a door. “This is the Clonomat. It automatically clones a new one of us whenever we have an accident with their old one. And I think we’ve got a new person with us.”

There was a bright green flash that lasted a couple of seconds before the display door opened and out walked a newly cloned Chief Economist. The new clone looked at its surroundings before immediately noticing something was up and had a massive crisis. “WHERE AM I? WHAT HAPPENED? I REMEMBER A PIANO HITTING ME AND NOW I’VE WOKEN UP HERE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME-” As the newly cloned Chief Economist broke down, Dave pressed a bright blue button. “GANIH!” Chief Economist said as he immediately straightened himself out and fell to the ground, completely rigid and completely dead.

Dave opened up a hatch and pushed what was the clone of Chief Economist down it before closing it again. He stood back up straight and spoke.“Sorry about that, WorldVision peoples. That’s not supposed to happen, we sometimes get a few mistakes that manage to get made but we deal with them as quickly as possible.” After stepping away and moving to one side, just so the Clonomat and its flashes won’t ruin the shot, Dave finished his bit. “Anyway, beautiful city, beautiful country, please come and visit, yadda yadda yadda. So, with further to do, let’s have a look at the stage our performers will be performing their performances on. Perform!”

PART TWO: THE STAGE

The stage. In reality it’ll be twice as big and a couple of feet higher off the ground than the one in the picture. At least it’s not another fucking 360° stage.

After a quick title card with the stock music from earlier making a reappearance, we then cut to Dave McDaverson standing in front of a stage in the middle of a different field. He was wearing a bright orange hard hat and there was a Test Subject wearing the same kind of hat, same colour too, right behind him just hammering away at the floorboards. Dave then turned to his side and pointed right at the stage behind him. It was a cheap but simple wooden stage, the kind you’d probably get knocked out in a day or two. “This is the stage everyone will be performing on.” He said, breaking the silence. “It’s very stagey. It should be big enough for all of our entrants to perform on. We haven’t had any accidents for the past three days either, so you know we’re super safe.”

Just as soon as he said that, a Test Subject immediately fell through the stage. Despite only falling not even half an inch, he died upon impact with the ground. Dave made an annoyed look at the camera at which point Television Director spoke again. “Just keep speaking, sir, let’s just pretend it never happened.”

Dave nodded and then carried on his bit. As you can see, we can’t really afford too many special effects. And we can’t stick them in either. We can’t have pyros. It’s wood, they’ll say it’ll burn. We can’t really afford a fan machine or a whole load of coloured lights or anything like that. But! We’ve got a better idea. We’ve hired a whole load of midg-”

Television Director immediately interrupted. “You can’t say that, sir.”

“Dwar-”

“I don’t think you can say that either.”

“Little people?” Television Director nodded and the camera shook up and down with him. “Little people. We hired a whole load of little people who’ll run up and down the bottom of the stage with flashlights and fans and lighters and signs for the right effects. It won’t be perfect, there was a small incident with pulled pork that I can’t really go into any detail with, but it should still provide your entrants with enough flashy things to make everyone interested.”

PART THREE: THE HOST

The man, the myth, the legend himself Chief President Man Dave McDaverson. No, I don’t know why he seems to have a gun either.

After the title card showing the above phrase is displayed for five seconds, with the stock music making its return, we then cut to the same thing again. Dave looked into the camera and without missing a beat said “It’s me. I’m hosting. You can’t get much better than the Chief President Man himself of the entire country hosting your song competition. But I won’t be going it alone, as I’ll have a friend to help us with the televoting mathing.” He then walked along and came up to a small cardboard box, one the size of a ring box. He tapped the top of it and stepped back, with the flaps opening and Dave the Hobo worming his head out of the box. Dave McDaverson looked down at Dave the Hobo and simply asked. “Do you want to help me with our song contest?”

Almost immediately, Dave the Hobo answered “Get the hell out of here, you’re turning my joyride into a hellride!” He then disappeared back into his box and started to sing another song on his keyboard.

Dave McDaverson immediately turned back to the camera and said “I’ll ask him again later.”

PART FOUR: THE POSTCARDS

A still from the video showing what one of the postcards would look like, with the winning entry from last time being an example. In reality, it’s also what my laptop screen looks like. It is that manky in real life.

After the title card showing the above title, with the stock music making its unwelcome appearance yet again, we then cut to a dank office. Not in the memey sense, whatever that means, but rather because the office itself seems to be a damp, depressive hellhole. A complete beigey-grey with holes in the ceiling where you can see the asbestos poke through. At one end of the office, or more accurately the only end visible in the shot, we see two sets of doors and, in between them, a big golden statue of Dave McDaverson, replete with jewels and all that good stuff. The real Dave was standing next to a cubicle, his hands together, before he spoke up. “And here we have our creative studio. It’s also for other things but we’ve also made it into a creative studio. And this is where we’ve made our logos and where we’re making our postcards. Let’s have a look at one right now.”

Dave walked into the cubicle and Television Director joined him shortly afterwards. Television Director wormed his way over to the computer and stood right in front of it, getting a good shot of the postcard that had just finished being made. Of course, as it was just a test one, it instead displayed the winner from the last contest instead. Unfortunately, Dave didn’t know that. “Wha- Hib- That’s not the right person representing them!” He said angrily to the Test Subject who immediately stopped slapping his hands against the keyboard and mouse. He then picked up a used shopping bag and held it up close to the Test Subject. “What do you think I pay you for?”

Just then, a massive tentacle slithered out of the bag and the tip of it firmly latched itself onto the Test Subject’s forehead. It made a few sucking noises before it popped off and slithered its way back into the bag. The Test Subject’s head immediately fell onto the keyboard with a dull wet sound followed by the sound you get by hitting several keys at once. “Oh don’t tell me you’re going to sleep.” Dave said, still angrily. There was no response. A few seconds of silence later, Dave was a little bit calmer as he said “OK, you can sleep but when I come back I want to see some more right postcards!” Television Director immediately backed away but it was only to let Dave come out of the cubicle. He smiled again at the camera and then said “You’ve got to keep a firm grip on these people, you can never be too easy.”

PART FIVE: THE END

We then cut to the final title card with the stock music, both of which play for a few seconds, before we cut back to Dave in the charred out remains of his office. He’s sitting at what once was his desk, completely ashen and looking like it could break apart at any point. He sat upright in his equally burnt and almost destroyed chair and smiled once again, saying his last bit directly into the camera. “Well I hope you’ve enjoyed our tour of our little nation. I don’t think there’s much else to talk about-”

“What about the scoreboard, sir?” Television Director pointed out. “Or that plan to give a country a 25 points penalty because they kept spelling our country’s name wrong?”

Dave looked unimpressed for a couple of seconds before he instantly regained his smile. “Eh, we’ll worry about that later. For now, I’m done with my bit and I’m done with my video. I hope you all take our humble little bid into consideration.” At that point, Dave picked up his pipe, lit it and started to smoke again. After he exhaled, the camera zoomed out and we then get the stock music once again. We then immediately cut to the screen below, which plays for about a minute before both the screen and the stock music started to fade out, bringing the video to a complete end.

Note: ETV didn’t actually endorse or pay for this. We have no idea why they credited us for it.

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A couple of seconds after the video ends, we then get another title screen. It was a black screen with some red Japanese characters on, with a subtitle underneath it in yellow reading “[GO FOR A PUNCH]”. There were also some Japanese mantras going on in the background audio. Fortunately, the representative from Malta Comino Gozo came in and paused the video; nobody wanted to see what will happen after that. After turning the TV off, the five representatives all looked at each other as if they were wondering whether or not they should seriously consider this bid. After all, it technically was a bid: it showed what their country was like, what the postcards will look like and what the venue will be, so there was probably a good reason for it. On the other hand, the whole thing was a bit unorthodox so at the same time they might not consider it. Only one way to find out, really!

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EDIT: Whoops, not only forgot to confirm our confirmation as a puppet but also what our entry will be.

Nation Name: Placely Placington
Official Broadcaster: Wait, We Have A Broadcaster?
Song Title: Vote For Placely!
Artist(s) Name(s): Test and the Subjects

Tune: Dutch Idol - Simply The Best

[Waisnor]

After reaching best result in Oreo City, Waisnor once again confirms participation.

Nation Name: Waisnor
Official Broadcaster: First National Channel (FNC)
Song Title: TBA
Artist(s) Name(s): TBA

Tune: TBA

[Izmedu]

Izmedu signs up

more will be revealed at a later date

[Polkopia]

Last edition of Worldvision marked another Top-10 finish for Polkopia and the PNB opted to continue the tradition of using a National Final in order to determine Polkopia's entrant for the next edition of the contest. It should come as a surprise to no one that this National Final will once again take place in the form of the Landa vy Polkopiya, which has served as the National Final for Polkopia for decades and is one of Polkopia's longest-running TV shows. The contest dates back to 1972, where the winner of the competition received a cash price and was flown to Peeto in order to record more tracks with an established Polkopian record label. Of course, times in Polkopia are much different now, and apart from exposure on several media platforms, the winner of the Landa vy Polkopiya typically has the opportunity to represent Polkopia in the Worldvision Song Contest.

The lineup for this edition of the Landa vy Polkopiya has been revealed! As always, the PNB is calling on international juries to submit their votes before the conclusion of the semi-finals, and this result will be mixed with a televote in a 50/50 format in order to calculate the overall winner of the competition. The list of competing entries can be found below:

Semi #1

#1. Anton Redd - Fly
Language: English
Tune: Gryffin, John Martin - Cry

#2.Lev Yašin - Vo Nebe
Language: Polkopian
Title Translation: In the Sky
Tune: Sevak - Беги

#3.Maša - Šokhmat
Language: Polkopian
Title Translation: Chess
Tune: Zlata Ognevich - Океан

#4.Anya Glaš - Musor'
Language: Polkopian, English
Title Translation: Garbage
Tune: Lous and The Yakuza - Dilemme

#5.Rena Lorak - Temperatura
Language: Polkopian
Title Translation: Temperature
Tune: LOBODA - Пора домой

Semi #2

#1. Rokzana - Utopia
Language: English
Tune: Lana Del Rey - California

#2. Kasia Vipčak - Požniy
Language: Polkopian
Title Translation: Empty
Tune: Полина Гагарина - Небо в глазах

#3.YOHAN - Storm
Language: English
Tune: Dotan - There Will Be A Way

#4. Zeži - Dead End
Language: English
Tune: Fousheé - Deep End

#5. Karman Ćorluka - I've Said All This Before
Language: English
Tune: Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good

To vote: Send a TG (Or DM on Discord) to Polkopia with all 10 of the songs in order from your favorite to least favorite.

[Spiritual Republic of Caryton]

Caryton confirm.

[Electrum]

Electrum and EDO