Chairwoman Oomiya's Birthday Gala [Closed RP]

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

He could see his father's face in his mind's eye as the guards steadied him and lay him back down while he sobbed. It was rounded, whole, not skeletal and paper white around hollow eyes. "Father," he whimpered, both as a question and as a plea.

Alastair was seeing things. This was a figure drawn from his addled memory and shaped into imagination. He already knew what this projection of his father was going to say next, or at least guessed the general idea of what he would say. When his father spoke, his voice was urgent, unwavering, the way it had been whenever he was confronted with a crisis. He didn't say Alastair's name, did not show him any affection they way he did in life, but Alastair did not want any affection. He was currently repulsed by the very idea of it.

"There is not much time," his phantom father began, and Alastair was suddenly thinking of Hamlet. Hamlet had been visited by his ghostly father, had been told of his father's purgatorial suffering. He'd been told his father was murdered.

The imagined figment of Alastair's father, however, had no inclination to speak of Hamlet. He instead continued, "I am not here for pleasantries. I am here to reform you."

Alastair jerked as though a bolt of electricity was run through him. He started to sob harder, and his head pounded, his chest ached. His throat was scratchy and parched. He had to force the words "But how?" out, followed by a barely discernible "Just let me die." He was a lost cause; why was he having a pretend conversation with a father who was almost certainly disgusted with him?

One of his guards made out Alastair's words and responded to him, but Alastair did not hear. He was trapped in his own little world. He was drawn into himself and shuddered despite the fact that they had covered him in two blankets, and he kept mumbling like he was having a conversation with someone. There was no one in the room except for the guards and the doctor who'd checked on him earlier. She had not left yet because she had opted to monitor his condition, and she was not directly engaged with him. Alastair had not even noticed she was there. He was moaning, talking to himself, hiding his face in his arms, bawling. He seemed a small child who had somehow been deposited into a grown man's body.

His guards could no longer stand idle; his situation had become too grave for them not to act. They had to get him to a hospital, a psychologist, a rehabilitation center, somewhere that could help him.

But they had to wait for his meeting with Oomiya first.

There was the soft sound of conversation, and Kehrer opened his eyes. Just above him, there was a flash of white, and he wondered if he had fallen back into unconsciousness again. Fear permeated his body, until he looked closely and realised it was a doctor's coat.

That's right, there was a doctor. For some reason, he had forgotten that simple fact. Kehrer now understood: even if his liver had been replaced with a flash-cloned version and his blood vessels swept clear of all traces of alcohol, his mind was still corrupted, his memory blurry and failing.

"King Kehrer?"

Hearing his name being called out, he looked up at the doctor standing before him.

"Ah...yes?"

"As I was saying, King Kehrer, you might continue to experience some symptoms of withdraw from alcohol intake. I was informed by your guards about your situation, and although hallucinations and falling unconscious are certainly not common, they are nonetheless not a sign to be worried. I have told your guards to inform me if there are any developments or worsening of your condition, but as of present there is no cause for alarm."

Kehrer nodded, using a tremendous amount of his effort to do so.

The doctor turned towards his guards, and her voice lowered. Kehrer strained to hear what she was saying, but he couldn't make out much more than "refrain from alcohol". His guards uttered their acknowledgement, and the doctor left right as Kehrer felt something pressing against his arm.

"Energy infusion, as the doctor ordered for you" his guard explained, "it should improve your condition." He turned around, showing Kehrer the strange looking instrument. There were some symbols he couldn't recognise, but there was indeed "50ml" written on the side in bright lettering.

Kehrer stared at the words for a while, praying this world's more advanced medical technology could at least restore his functioning. He felt hopeful; at least the fatigue and pain were gone for now, and his thoughts were becoming clearer.

"Are you feeling better already, King Kehrer?" his guard asked. "If you are well enough, perhaps you can rejoin the others and finish your lunch."

The world was a kaleidoscope spiraling inward in blurred fractals. Alastair found it impossible to concentrate on a singular sight, touch, sound, and responding to the doctor...he hadn't the energy. He lacked the will. Her words were a jumbled mess coating him in pain and confusion, and his mouth was leaden, his muscles stone. His body was trapped in its own sluggish timeline while the universe unfolded around him in a time lapse.

He took a shuddering breath, nodded his head. Tears dripped from his face into his lap where his hands rested. His palms faced upward in supplication, begging him to cry into them, to not sink into immobility again. It was okay if he collapsed again; it was okay that he could not stop shivering. His blanket was wrapped around him, and he could not stop shivering.

The speed of the surrounding world soon prompted the doctor to leave, and Alastair found one of his guards rolling up his right sleeve. Another steadied his arm while the first injected something into his vein that only stung slightly when it penetrated his skin. He was so detached that the words "energy infusion" meant nothing to him, that the lettering on the syringe, foreign as it was, failed to captivate his attention.

After only a few seconds, the whispers of vitality swirled within him. The paces of his milieu and his own tortured mind evened out, and the lead evaporated, the stoniness softened.

"Are you feeling better already, King Kehrer?" A guard, inquiring about his condition. Yes, this guard, Muntz--the one who had just injected him with what was likely pure adrenaline. "If you are well enough, perhaps you can rejoin the others and finish your lunch."

"I finished my lunch," Alastair reminded him. "I devoured everything." Suddenly, he was reminded that he was utterly disgusted by himself. "I do not want to reconvene with anyone." Was there bitterness in his voice? He did not care. "It would be best if no one...know one ever saw me. Again. If...no one here ever saw me ever again." Throughout this whole ordeal, he had been crying. He blew his nose into a tissue now, crumpled it up, and crushed it underneath his grip to steady himself. He was completely serious in not wanting to interact with the other leaders after the massive coxcomb he had made of himself.

"I...I think...I...do I...do...I...need help?" The question was so difficult to articulate, but God, it had been swirling around for a long time. "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I--" He broke off. Sniffed. Blew his nose again. "Why am I such a failure?"

[Libertalonia]

Lilith could understand that sentiment. To be caught between two opposing sides was nothing strange to her- after all, her nation was in an even more fragmented power struggle for their world. She was curious by Norton's admission of neutrality though.

"How does one remain neutral in such a scenario?", she questioned. "And what led you to choose not picking a side? Isn't that even worse than choosing your alliance?"

"We are lean to the Western Powers." Norton replied
"But we don't express support, and only in times of war we declare our support. And no, it's not that bad. At least your one of the most powerful in the Non Aligned Movement, right?".

"Yeah, mostly, we do have one major though, Shinjou. by some pure misfortune, they have kept their fascist system in place and their military on a full power trip, I fear that this time, they'll go to war and will try to cross the pacific and onto our shores evidenced by a rapid naval expansion"

She showed photos of what seems to be, one carrier of a huge size, two battleships, several helicopter formations and heavy tank divisions belonging to shinjou, then another set taken by spies in the areas of interest, the capital is one of those grandiose yet empty and uncanny cities, shinjou factories paint with a lot of red, probable death camps and major fortresses.

so with a sadder tone in her voice "And these are the people I fear the most"

[New Goldman]

"We are lean to the Western Powers." Norton replied
"But we don't express support, and only in times of war we declare our support. And no, it's not that bad. At least your one of the most powerful in the Non Aligned Movement, right?".

"Yeah, mostly, we do have one major though, Shinjou. by some pure misfortune, they have kept their fascist system in place and their military on a full power trip, I fear that this time, they'll go to war and will try to cross the pacific and onto our shores evidenced by a rapid naval expansion"

She showed photos of what seems to be, one carrier of a huge size, two battleships, several helicopter formations and heavy tank divisions belonging to shinjou, then another set taken by spies in the areas of interest, the capital is one of those grandiose yet empty and uncanny cities, shinjou factories paint with a lot of red, probable death camps and major fortresses.

so with a sadder tone in her voice "And these are the people I fear the most"

"No offense, but the name "Shinjou" sounds something out of an anime." Norton remarked as he looked over the photos. "America certainly has bigger carriers than these in my world. And Battleships are outdated machines. These look like some...Nazis."

[Sanghyeok]

The world was a kaleidoscope spiraling inward in blurred fractals. Alastair found it impossible to concentrate on a singular sight, touch, sound, and responding to the doctor...he hadn't the energy. He lacked the will. Her words were a jumbled mess coating him in pain and confusion, and his mouth was leaden, his muscles stone. His body was trapped in its own sluggish timeline while the universe unfolded around him in a time lapse.

He took a shuddering breath, nodded his head. Tears dripped from his face into his lap where his hands rested. His palms faced upward in supplication, begging him to cry into them, to not sink into immobility again. It was okay if he collapsed again; it was okay that he could not stop shivering. His blanket was wrapped around him, and he could not stop shivering.

The speed of the surrounding world soon prompted the doctor to leave, and Alastair found one of his guards rolling up his right sleeve. Another steadied his arm while the first injected something into his vein that only stung slightly when it penetrated his skin. He was so detached that the words "energy infusion" meant nothing to him, that the lettering on the syringe, foreign as it was, failed to captivate his attention.

After only a few seconds, the whispers of vitality swirled within him. The paces of his milieu and his own tortured mind evened out, and the lead evaporated, the stoniness softened.

"Are you feeling better already, King Kehrer?" A guard, inquiring about his condition. Yes, this guard, Muntz--the one who had just injected him with what was likely pure adrenaline. "If you are well enough, perhaps you can rejoin the others and finish your lunch."

"I finished my lunch," Alastair reminded him. "I devoured everything." Suddenly, he was reminded that he was utterly disgusted by himself. "I do not want to reconvene with anyone." Was there bitterness in his voice? He did not care. "It would be best if no one...know one ever saw me. Again. If...no one here ever saw me ever again." Throughout this whole ordeal, he had been crying. He blew his nose into a tissue now, crumpled it up, and crushed it underneath his grip to steady himself. He was completely serious in not wanting to interact with the other leaders after the massive coxcomb he had made of himself.

"I...I think...I...do I...do...I...need help?" The question was so difficult to articulate, but God, it had been swirling around for a long time. "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I--" He broke off. Sniffed. Blew his nose again. "Why am I such a failure?"

Judging by their reaction, his guards were quite caught off guard by this question.

"I'm sorry, King Kehrer?" one of them asked in an unsure voice. "Did you ask us something?" Half polite, half uneasy, he averted his gaze from Kehrer's face directly.

Kehrer was equally embarrassed at having let out such a confession of weakness, and he almost wanted to tell them that he had said nothing, that it was just an illusion, that he was fine. But he wasn't fine, and he knew it. He couldn't hold back on this anymore- his rampancy and degeneracy had maimed him and almost led to his death- and so summoning a great deal of courage, at last he spoke once more.

"I think I need help," he said, so softly his words were barely audible. "I know something is wrong. I would like to find some help, for the sake of myself and my wife and family. And for our kingdom, of course." Immediately as he finished speaking, he turned his head away in shame.

Silence.

Now I've done it, he thought as the feeling of shame welled up from inside. Not only have I lost my appearance and sanity, I can count dignity among my other once-hads. At this rate...

The silence was interrupted.

"I agree, King Kehrer" one of the guards said at last, relief evident as he spoke. "What do you propose we do?"

[Wuchu]

Yamada was still staring in the direction where the Chairwoman had been and Ari had departed when she received a sharp jab on the side of her cheek.

"Hey, what was that for?" she said, pouting at Kotera.

"If you keep starting at where the O-chair's gone, my meal's going to get cold." Kotera replied.

"Our meal."

Kotera didn't refute that.

---

"Kotera-kun, can you help me?"

"With what?"

"I can't seem to reach this piece of sweet omelet. Can you feed me?"

Kotera obliged without even thinking twice. Damn, have I gotten used to this? Magic is really screwing up my brain harder than--

"Ah~" Yamada said, opening up her mouth.

The piece of sweet omelet was placed in, and she chewed thoroughly.

"Now it's your turn," Yamada told Kotera.

"Ah~" Kotera made the same sound Yamada had, even though he felt like Yamada was enjoying this more she should have.

It was at this moment that they remembered they were not alone, and they turned around to see Esther and Weil looking on with intrigued expressions.

"Sorry....." Yamada's apology disappeared as her voice became quiet.

"Ah, don't worry, it's great to see my grandson finally show some interest in people for once. If you hurry up, this old one might even get to see her great-grandchild!" Weil was practically daydreaming now, and her tone was longing.

"Oh, how I would love to hold my great-grandchild in my own hands while I am still on this world. You know, I was talking with Hannah about how we were worried you might never settle down, but it seems my fears have been abolished," Esther added, her voice joyful.

Kotera almost spat out his spoonful of miso soup, while a light shade of red was spreading across Yamada's cheeks.

Grandparents, they're no different no matter where they're from, Yamada thought.

The remainder of the meal was... calm. Hannah and Esther both chatted away, their topic of conversation shifting organically from their own wedding, onto the events of their day of departure from Shtet, into discussion about pollution and cruise ships, then the books they've recently read, and so on, and so on - the way a couple who knows everything about each other and yet still manage to surprise each other speaks is almost sublime, like a dance of words, of the occassional "Ah yes, I remember," and the "No, no, that's not quite the way that went..."

I was, perhaps uncharacteristically, quiet. I'm still not quite sure why, really. But in that moment, I just sort of sat there, listening, enjoying the time in a very squeaky-clean manner. No drugs, not even a word of Heidegger to interrupt the flow.

I was looking up at the ceiling, drinking a glass of rice wine, when I noticed that two mice were sitting on the decorative rim, tucked between the ceiling itself and their VIP seats. They, too, were just sitting there, calmly.

[Sanghyeok]

[Removed]

[Kiu Ghesik]

Oomiya looked at Ari as the latter's face changed expressions about ten times in a single moment. If Ari was trying to hide her thoughts, she was doing rather poorly. Anyone could, with a single glance at Ari, realise that she was in nothing less than a state of confusion and vulnerability.

And that was before she started speaking. Somewhat haltingly, Ari asked a question she had been waiting to ask since she had felt concern after Oomiya's address not three hours ago. If Ari had been uneasy before, now she was purely nervous, and it showed on her face and in her behaviour.

"There is no need to worry," Oomiya said, her voice equal parts curious and calm. "It is only natural to have concerns. And, since I did promise to all invited that I would be willing to answer their questions, I will now respond to yours. But first, there is another matter to be attended to."

As Oomiya finished speaking, a rather formally dressed lady placed a tea set before the two of them, before pouring equal amounts into their cups. After doing so, she bowed slightly, and exited the room, leaving Oomiya and Ari alone once more.

"There can be no civilised discussion without the most civilised of drinks," Oomiya said before taking a small sip of the tea in her cup. "Now, as to your question of 'everywhere', I certainly do mean everywhere. Perhaps not immediately, of course, given the strength of both myself and our nation."

Another sip of tea, and Oomiya continued. "But in the long term, that would certainly be our goal: of all universes, and all nations within those universes we shall spread our ideals to. I imagine, though, that your real concern lies with our ideals?"

"Ah, I..." Ari paused, put the tea to her lips, and smiled. It went down smooth, calming her frayed nerves. Perhaps, she thought, there was something more to it than tea- considering who she was sitting across from, that was likely. Her breath no longer fast and shallow, she looked to Oomiya, setting the cup on the saucer with a gentle clink. "...possibly. I suppose- I suppose I can't see us ever living like... like this."

That, at least, was true, no matter how hard she tried. These- these buildings, the city, it was all so massive, so sprawling, a landscape unto itself. And it was a landscape she had no clue how to survive in. A human landscape, a human hive. She was raised in the land, taught how to live as a part of it, as a mere piece of the cosmic machine, but this city was a machine unto itself. It was innately human, rather than of nature, and that... scared her.

"I... I know you are an... an elder, and wise, but..." Tread carefully, now. It would not do to alienate this one. "...I am still... hesitant. I... to turn to, ah... policy, I... I would need some... assurances. I do not mean to detract from the day, but- if you were to, say, incorporate us, what would... happen?" The question that followed was left unsaid, but nonetheless perfectly clear- would you cage us, if you were to rule us?

Though I doubt you ever will. There are strong enough foes out there I cannot see you prevailing. There are greater Leviathans out there than your own.

[Sanghyeok]

The remainder of the meal was... calm. Hannah and Esther both chatted away, their topic of conversation shifting organically from their own wedding, onto the events of their day of departure from Shtet, into discussion about pollution and cruise ships, then the books they've recently read, and so on, and so on - the way a couple who knows everything about each other and yet still manage to surprise each other speaks is almost sublime, like a dance of words, of the occassional "Ah yes, I remember," and the "No, no, that's not quite the way that went..."

I was, perhaps uncharacteristically, quiet. I'm still not quite sure why, really. But in that moment, I just sort of sat there, listening, enjoying the time in a very squeaky-clean manner. No drugs, not even a word of Heidegger to interrupt the flow.

I was looking up at the ceiling, drinking a glass of rice wine, when I noticed that two mice were sitting on the decorative rim, tucked between the ceiling itself and their VIP seats. They, too, were just sitting there, calmly.

Yamada looked at Kotera, whose expression could best be summed up as "amused". Evidently he was enjoying something, though Yamada didn't know what.

"Are you thinking of something?" she asked, looking in the direction that Kotera was staring at. He shook his head before turning back towards Yamada as he spoke.

"Not much, really. I just realised its been perhaps the longest time I've been without chemical help in some time."

"Chemical help?" Yamada tilted her head at Kotera's puzzling response.

"What you would call psychedelic and mind-altering substances," Kotera explained. "They're really helpful for improving one's day, don't you think?"

Yamada thought back to her last experience with 'chemical help' and decided 'improvement' would not be how she would call that disaster. She merely nodded once, before speaking.

"It's getting quiet row as lunch ends. Would you care you explore the gardens here with me?" She reached out her hand in invitation, which Kotera quickly accepted. They walked past Hannah and Esther- still deep in their conversation- and away from the courtyard where the prying eyes were, towards the privacy of greenery, nature, and flowers.

[Sanghyeok]

"Ah, I..." Ari paused, put the tea to her lips, and smiled. It went down smooth, calming her frayed nerves. Perhaps, she thought, there was something more to it than tea- considering who she was sitting across from, that was likely. Her breath no longer fast and shallow, she looked to Oomiya, setting the cup on the saucer with a gentle clink. "...possibly. I suppose- I suppose I can't see us ever living like... like this."

That, at least, was true, no matter how hard she tried. These- these buildings, the city, it was all so massive, so sprawling, a landscape unto itself. And it was a landscape she had no clue how to survive in. A human landscape, a human hive. She was raised in the land, taught how to live as a part of it, as a mere piece of the cosmic machine, but this city was a machine unto itself. It was innately human, rather than of nature, and that... scared her.

"I... I know you are an... an elder, and wise, but..." Tread carefully, now. It would not do to alienate this one. "...I am still... hesitant. I... to turn to, ah... policy, I... I would need some... assurances. I do not mean to detract from the day, but- if you were to, say, incorporate us, what would... happen?" The question that followed was left unsaid, but nonetheless perfectly clear- would you cage us, if you were to rule us?

Though I doubt you ever will. There are strong enough foes out there I cannot see you prevailing. There are greater Leviathans out there than your own.

Oomiya sipped on the tea lightly as she heard Ari's inquiry, enjoying the intricacies of its flavour. Ari's questions were, perhaps surprisingly, nothing unexpected. And yet, they were thought provoking.

Interesting. From a historical standpoint, one could say all of our past societies have been determined by class struggle. But from a scientific point of view, the answer would the relationship between humanity and nature.

"I understand your fear and unfamiliarity," Oomiya said, and she spoke with more reassurance than normal. "From your point of view, our people have completely reversed the relationship between nature and humanity, between environment and society."

Ari nodded. This whole civilisation was grand but also incredibly daunting. To live in a world where the role of humanity was to master nature, and not live under its whims, where the land and skies and even things as sacred as time and space themselves were being altered at will? She couldn't imagine it.

"But that is not so," Oomiya continued. There was a light clink as the empty cup was placed back on its dish, but there were no ripples this time. "In fact," Oomiya said, "humanity never has mastered our surroundings. Your people and mine are quite similar in that we remain within the confines of what nature allows us. True, perhaps, we appear to make changes that are fighting nature itself. But if there is something I have learned, it is that us humans are very insignificant indeed. There are rules we cannot break even with our technology, and it is doubtful we will ever be able to break them for many generations more."

"Which is to say..." Ari suggested.

"Which is to say we do not see ourselves as deities or superpowerful beings above nature, but rather remain a part of nature itself no matter how developed we may become." Oomiya finished.

"I see," Ari answered. There was a slight flicker of relief on her face as she heard Oomiya's response, and she said nothing afterwards. That feeling of malaise has disappeared somewhat, but there was still one more question the Chairwoman had yet to answer. "And, about my second question? What would you do if you were to incorporate us?"

"Incorporate?" For the first time, Oomiya had a confused look on her face, as if she wasn't quite sure what Ari had asked. "Do you mean conquering?"

"Yes, conquering." Ari was far more familiar with this word than incorporate, although she still didn't like the sound of it.

"If you are afraid of such a scenario," Oomiya replied, "then I can give you my assurance such things will never happen during my leadership. Of course there are always disagreements and changes of policy- like on your Council- but overall, we are not a people who seek to attack others without good reason. And if your people were to join us for some reason or another, they would be treated as regular citizens, the same as anyone else. Have I answered your question?"

She swirled the cup around a little, watching small waves form within, waiting for Ari's response.

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

The world was a kaleidoscope spiraling inward in blurred fractals. Alastair found it impossible to concentrate on a singular sight, touch, sound, and responding to the doctor...he hadn't the energy. He lacked the will. Her words were a jumbled mess coating him in pain and confusion, and his mouth was leaden, his muscles stone. His body was trapped in its own sluggish timeline while the universe unfolded around him in a time lapse.

He took a shuddering breath, nodded his head. Tears dripped from his face into his lap where his hands rested. His palms faced upward in supplication, begging him to cry into them, to not sink into immobility again. It was okay if he collapsed again; it was okay that he could not stop shivering. His blanket was wrapped around him, and he could not stop shivering.

The speed of the surrounding world soon prompted the doctor to leave, and Alastair found one of his guards rolling up his right sleeve. Another steadied his arm while the first injected something into his vein that only stung slightly when it penetrated his skin. He was so detached that the words "energy infusion" meant nothing to him, that the lettering on the syringe, foreign as it was, failed to captivate his attention.

After only a few seconds, the whispers of vitality swirled within him. The paces of his milieu and his own tortured mind evened out, and the lead evaporated, the stoniness softened.

"Are you feeling better already, King Kehrer?" A guard, inquiring about his condition. Yes, this guard, Muntz--the one who had just injected him with what was likely pure adrenaline. "If you are well enough, perhaps you can rejoin the others and finish your lunch."

"I finished my lunch," Alastair reminded him. "I devoured everything." Suddenly, he was reminded that he was utterly disgusted by himself. "I do not want to reconvene with anyone." Was there bitterness in his voice? He did not care. "It would be best if no one...know one ever saw me. Again. If...no one here ever saw me ever again." Throughout this whole ordeal, he had been crying. He blew his nose into a tissue now, crumpled it up, and crushed it underneath his grip to steady himself. He was completely serious in not wanting to interact with the other leaders after the massive coxcomb he had made of himself.

"I...I think...I...do I...do...I...need help?" The question was so difficult to articulate, but God, it had been swirling around for a long time. "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I--" He broke off. Sniffed. Blew his nose again. "Why am I such a failure?"

Judging by their reaction, his guards were quite caught off guard by this question.

"I'm sorry, King Kehrer?" one of them asked in an unsure voice. "Did you ask us something?" Half polite, half uneasy, he averted his gaze from Kehrer's face directly.

Kehrer was equally embarrassed at having let out such a confession of weakness, and he almost wanted to tell them that he had said nothing, that it was just an illusion, that he was fine. But he wasn't fine, and he knew it. He couldn't hold back on this anymore- his rampancy and degeneracy had maimed him and almost led to his death- and so summoning a great deal of courage, at last he spoke once more.

"I think I need help," he said, so softly his words were barely audible. "I know something is wrong. I would like to find some help, for the sake of myself and my wife and family. And for our kingdom, of course." Immediately as he finished speaking, he turned his head away in shame.

Silence.

Now I've done it, he thought as the feeling of shame welled up from inside. Not only have I lost my appearance and sanity, I can count dignity among my other once-hads. At this rate...

The silence was interrupted.

"I agree, King Kehrer" one of the guards said at last, relief evident as he spoke. "What do you propose we do?"

"I'm sorry, King Kehrer?" inquired one of his guards. "Did you ask us something?"

Alastair laced his hands together and bowed his head as if in prayer. His heart thumped painfully in his chest. Even with the medication-induced mental clarity, his memories were muddled, tainted by intoxication. He could easily convince himself that most of his life was a dream, and that there was nothing wrong with him. He'd been working for years to convince everyone around him he was fine.

But he wasn't fine. He'd almost died last night because of what he was doing to himself. If he valued his life, which he did not, if he valued his family--his family. He loved them, but would they still love him once they knew what he was?

"I think I need help."

His voice was tremulous, virtually inaudible. Speaking them made utter humiliation bloom inside him. Immediately, he wished to take them back and swallow them the way he guzzled booze. Yet he knew, he knew something was very wrong with him, just like he knew that he was a pathetic excuse for a human being. Someone might be willing to help him, even though he was a lowlife.

"I know...something...is wrong. I..." he trailed off. Alastair had nothing left; he was miserable, his health was failing, he'd lost the trust of Marie and his cabinet and his children. His guards, rightfully so, despised him. None of the other leaders respected him, nor did any of his own people--if they did now, they wouldn't when the truth was made known to them.

Gott, he was so disgusted with himself. Was there any part of him that was redeemable? His health, certainly, could be salvaged to an extent. He could live several decades with his magically regrown and transplanted liver, he'd been told, if he adjusted his diet and lifestyle. He could start eating correctly and lose some weight. If he quit drinking, he'd be less of a physical wreck. It was something he knew intellectually, but he'd never...he'd never thought he would ever be able to stop.

His mental condition had deteriorated so steeply that he had no hope he'd ever be himself again. He was in a fathomless, lightless pit, unable to recollect vast stretches of his life, knowing he would never piece them together. Alcoholism had ruined his mind, had decimated his life. Never would he have any complete memories to cherish. And he was so depressed that nothing in the world could shake him from his internal chasm. Alastair had no respite from his overwhelming misery except when he was drunk, because he became so numb and detached when he drank that he lost all awareness. 'Twas the only time that he felt free, human, almost. Worth being alive.

"I know something is wrong," Alastair wheezed. "I would...like...." Did he have the fortitude to even say these words aloud? No, he did not, but the words needed to be said. "...to find some help, for the sake of myself...and my wife and...my...family." The final word was but a squeak. His children were never going to forgive him. "And for our kingdom, of course."

Alastair turned his head away. He was certain now that he was ruined. Everything he used to be was gone; he was no longer handsome, or stable, or responsible, or intelligent. He was weak, always had been, and he was a sniveling drunkard. He had no dignity, no merit, no friendliness or kindness or vitality.

Sometimes, he was overcome by a fervent desire for death. He prayed no one would rescue him after he passed out, that he would be abandoned and left to moulder on the floor somewhere in the palace. That no one would be there to monitor him and make sure he was still breathing.

"I agree, King Kehrer." One of his guards spoke up, sounding almost relieved. His tone made Alastair's stomach lurch. "What do you propose we do?"

Alastair gazed into the distance, wondering if he was dreaming. He had done something courageous, and he--he was the opposite of courageous. He was a weakling. A coward.

"Call...call Marie," he rasped. "Tell her 'tis urgent."

[Wuchu]

Yamada looked at Kotera, whose expression could best be summed up as "amused". Evidently he was enjoying something, though Yamada didn't know what.

"Are you thinking of something?" she asked, looking in the direction that Kotera was staring at. He shook his head before turning back towards Yamada as he spoke.

"Not much, really. I just realised its been perhaps the longest time I've been without chemical help in some time."

"Chemical help?" Yamada tilted her head at Kotera's puzzling response.

"What you would call psychedelic and mind-altering substances," Kotera explained. "They're really helpful for improving one's day, don't you think?"

Yamada thought back to her last experience with 'chemical help' and decided 'improvement' would not be how she would call that disaster. She merely nodded once, before speaking.

"It's getting quiet row as lunch ends. Would you care you explore the gardens here with me?" She reached out her hand in invitation, which Kotera quickly accepted. They walked past Hannah and Esther- still deep in their conversation- and away from the courtyard where the prying eyes were, towards the privacy of greenery, nature, and flowers.

We were sitting atop a little hill, watching the tree canopy above us sway gently with the wind. The songs of the insects surrounding were just a tad deafening, but somehow, when combined with the other sounds of nature, the screeching almost blended in perfectly.

Almost. It was still damn distracting.

Yamada didn't seem to mind, though. She was laying down, picking the petals off of a flower we grabbed along the way through the garden, and quietly humming a little song. From what I could tell, I think it was supposed to be the Internationale. The insects didn't make it exactly easy listening, though.

For a second, her eyes shifted away from the flower, and she noticed that I was looking at her. She struggled to hide her smile as she attempted to hide behind the remaining petals, blocking her sight of me with the flower. A gentle giggle escaped her lips.

"What're you laughing at?" I said with a smile of my own.

"Nooo~thing~" she said with a sing-song quality. She looked slightly over the flower, getting a small glimpse of me from beyond her cover. "I just think you're funny."

"Funny how?"

She went quiet for a moment, thinking. "Just... funny," she said with yet another giggle. "I've never met someone like you."

I laid down beside her. "I've never met someone like you either."