A Neko's Resurrection (Open, MT-PMT, Attn. Floor Kippers)

[New Amerik]

"Good evening Mr. Dregas.

Now, a story,that is interesting. When one sees the Otherside, one realizes that all those 'stories' have some truth to them. And if I need to convince my citizens something they wouldn't like doesn't exist, I merely tell them it's all a story. Fiction can be fact, and fact can be fiction. The citizenry are so often idiots, blinded to what is obvious. And if this "Johhny People-Eater" is a story, then I'm sure the citizens of Des-Bal would just laugh at us if we declared we were to hunt him down.......after all, no one could prove we did it, as he doesn't exist.......and surely we must put old stories to rest someday......"

[Des-Bal]

"You wouldn't be the first." Dregas said. "Johnny People-Eater comes from stories of a series of bandit killing attributed to a serial killer. For years militia and Shadow Gorad devoted recourses to the capture of the person responsible, when the culrpits ,a caravan of bandits, were caught people just refused to accept them as the real criminals. I truly would hate to see New Amerika fall so far internationally as to begin hunting the bogey man."

[New Amerik]

"Don't worry; I am well known for hunting bogeymen...and catching them, too. I've learned from my mistakes, and I've gotten much more efficient at it now. It was I who physically harmed the avatar of Death when it tried to bring the apocalypse, and the living element of earth was able to fall to my pistol and blade. I take no joy in killing, but I am good at what I do. New Amerik has no need to get involved;I'll do that on my own. And just in case, the doktors are always able to use the Head of State."

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel had been thinking for a few moments, he snapped his fingers
"Of Course" He Excalimed, he turned to Vasquail "I Apollogise for interupting Emperor, but you said that you beleived your Good lady was Infertile, The Boys and Girls at The MOISR Might have the answer to that, They've recently recovered the extensive Files on Nekos and I beleive there was a hefty Sub-file on biological ocurrances, No promises though but the answer may lie there"

[New Amerik]

"Hmmm? Oh, yes, the MOISR, what does that stand for, anyways? And I'd be glad for info, though from what I've seen our Felinoids are rather more......feline than Neko's tend to be. Cross dimensions, all that jazz. Still, anything you have is helpful."

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel Smiled Widely "The MOISR is the Ministry Of Interspeicies Relations, A department set up in 1901 to document all aspects of any senteint creatures for use to ambassedors, The Public and Highups, now, The fact that your lady wife is more Feline may present a problem but we can cross-check with another file for a differnt sentient cat speicies"

[New Amerik]

"Well, thank you for the time. I could get the Biotechnists to assist you, we have around one hundred or so non-human species native to New Amerik, most seemingly found nowhere else. Most are hidden from normal view, of course, but I have a gadget that can fix that for you....permanently."

[The Floor Kippers]

"Thank you that would greatly help the MOISR" Mr Bluskie responded greatfully
Sir Nigel Nodded exitedly "Would you like me to check now?"

[New Amerik]

"Check? And how do you propose to do that?"

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel Smiled "The wonders of technology,"
He Pulled a small areial out of his Pocket
"Mr Pertwee, Do you have your laptop?" He asked
"Yes" Thomas replied
"Pass it here will you" Sir Nigel Requested.
Thomas Passed the laptop to Sir Nigel, Who booted it up and attached the areial, he typed in the password and the start up jingle Played

[New Amerik]

"I see. You are going to access the Interweb, are you? Make sure it's compatible. Nations have tried their...'Internet', or some nonsense like that, and failed. An Interweb browser, however, should work fine.

Finally, make sure your browser is one of the few that's in Amerik. Most are in Japanese, the founder of the Interweb."

[The Floor Kippers]

"Not the Internet, But the Sub-Etha net" Sir Nigle said typing in an access code "You do get Sub-etha coverage here?"

[New Amerik]

"Tesla, Babbage, or Wright?"

[The Floor Kippers]

"Adams" Sir Nigel Responded

[New Amerik]

"Nope, they have coverage only in California Holdings. Try Kelvin. It's not very good, but it'll work on just about any old thing.

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel Nodded, after five minuites waiting he exclaimed "Ah ha!, Biological Quirks of Nekos"
He began muttering as he scrolled down "Chocolate allergy.......Metabolism reversal........Lack of confidence.......Ah Infertlility."
"Neko's very rarly become in fertile but there have been known cases, there are only a few known causes, Infertillity has been caused on rear ocassions by Arsnic, Gamma radiation, Poison and Decaf Tiramasu, However temporary Infertility can be cause by Lycra laced with sodium Pentathol, Antique furniture and Rapid Vibrations, E.g Firening an aoutomatic gun."

[New Amerik]

"Damn it, I knew we should have thrown out that old White House furniture when we built the palace! That's the problem!"

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel smiled "I'm glad that The MOISR Archives still works"

[New Amerik]

"Thanks for letting me know. By the way, is there a possible way to edit that? We appear to have some time, and I think I could input some info."

[The Floor Kippers]

"Sure, Mr Bluskie, I'll need your authoriseation code"Sir Nigle Responded
Mr Bluskie Leant forward and entere hid authoriseation code
"What did you want to add?"

[New Amerik]

"Let's see...The Felinoid variant appears common to so far, only New Amerik, in territory. They are usually 5'8 to 6'4 in height, and are distinguished by their furry coats and catlike noses, unlike the more common Neko species. Lean frame, with smaller breasts than in comparable Neko's. Retractable claws in hands and feet, can leave very, very sharp scratches in back....eat a carnivorous diet, can adapt to omnivorous if taught at an early age, lets' see.......oh, yes, tend to align themselves into ethnic groups depending on coat markings, frequent gang warfare......very good dexterity and balancing skills, rotational ears and excellent gun skills......use protection, as unprotected sex can lead to 'cat scratch fever',.......tails act as balancing units......tongue raspy and sensitive to stimulation and flavor, sense of smell strong,and a noted aversion to spicy foods, like peppers.....usually hostile or weary of strangers, but go roly-poly with affection for loved ones.....noted for play-fighting, can sometimes be overexuberant in this regard.....dislikes cigarrete smoke, cigar smoke, opium,crack, or marajuana, preferred drug catnip....and I believe that's all I can remember off the top of my head."

[The Floor Kippers]

Sir Nigel Hit The Enter Key
"The One tracks back At The MOISR are going to be thinking about that for days" He chuckled "I'd be honoured if you'd consider visiting The MOISR some day Emporor"

[New Amerik]

"I would be delighted to. I feel there is much information about the Otherside I could add to your files. A pity somone burned them down in a mysterious accident. I would have liked to see them.

A question for you, Mr.Bluskie. Did you ever use your mind-reader on The Dean, and do you think you could scan me? I'd be interested to know the results."

[The Floor Kippers]

Mr Bluskie smiled "I could have a go, I did get a distant brain review of the dean but it was garbled due to the distance"
He Flicked the switch on the Mindoscope and began moving it about Vasquail's head "Hmm Cerbral Cortex is fine, Memory storage abilities well within safe levels, That thought was a little bit too juicy if I may say so, Nerve connections good, synapses perfect, Minor damage to the sub-cortex, nothing serious. Mr Bluskie looked startled "What the hell's that," He exclaimed "Oh. Its a rogue Imagination cell, phew,"
He turned off the device "As far as can be told, Your brain is fine"

[New Amerik]

"Hmm, yes, that brought back some fond memories....and now, let me assure you, this will only take a second..."

With that, he whipped out a small, metallic cylinder, with a single bulb in the middle.Holding it up to the party's eyes, he squeezed it, and there was a bright flash of light.