The 2019 Cartoon House Chancellory Election (OPEN)(POLL)

[Cartoonia]

Music to set the mood

It’s that time of year when the chancellor and attorney general are about to finish their term at the Cartoon House. Which means the general election is about to commence

This year will be the most important election. With rising issues like SJWs, global warming and climate change, military strengthening, expansion, and war, this election can keep, or break Cartoonia’s image in the international community.

more information about the Cartoon Political Parties can be found here

candidates	party	background	proposed policies
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Nigel Uno and Conan Edogawa	Cartoon National Kid Party	Nigel Uno was a member of the Knd Corps and is currently Secretary for the Department of Child Saftey. He believes that adults have oppressed kids around the world for too long and would reach the international community with proposals for child safety and using international military force to enforce it. Conan Edogawa is a junior detective for the Beika City Metropolitan Police Department. He wants to see a decrease in crime and bigger crime prevention programs, as well as increase in health and social welfare. With recent environmental issues rising, he also wants to work with industry to become more environmentally friendly and reduce global warming to a minimum.	Child Safety Laws International military force in countries in need of child safety protection education reforms increase in local police protection social welfare reforms health advancement Enviormental works
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Chad Dickson and Nelson Muntz	Cartoon Social Teen Party	Chad Dickson was the commanding general of the Cartoon Foreign Legion from 1992-2001 and is the current secretary for the Department of Defense. He wants to usher in the second era of Cartoon imperialism following the Second Tower of Heaven War, to make Cartoonia safe from harm. He also wants to put an end on international SJWism as it has destroyed many people's reputations. Nelson Muntz is one of the representatives for the City of Springfield, once known as the Big bully on the block, he aims to reform some parts of the education system, as well as usher in new policies of social welfare and assistance, coming from a poor background himself.	Cartoon Imperialism Militarism Internet Crackdown Non-regulatory Free speech Education Reform Social Welfare/Assistance Programs
[img]-[/img] Eric Cartman and Mandy Darling	Imperial Party of Cartoonia	Eric Cartman is a member of the freemason society, The Order of Mysterio. He was also a junior officer for the Cartoon Brotherhood of The Confederacy. He wants to expand the power and influence of Imperial Cartoonia, as well as end social welfare. Mandy Darling was a graduate of The Cartoon Military Academy of Toon Point, the class of 1999, and is currently serving as Colonel of The Endsville Brigade, which has grown more militaristic in the past years under her command. She wants to do away of all social reforms and turn the nation into a nationalist, socialist state.	Cartoon Imperialism Expansionism Agression End Social Welfare End Social Reform Restricted Borders Fascism
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Papa Smurf and Brainy Smurf	Communist Labor Party of Cartoonia	Papa Smurf & Brainy Smurf are both from the Smurf Village Commune, which is a city out of reach of the Federal Government. Being from a communist city, they want to make Cartoonia communist and isolationist	Communist Reform Isolationism Five Year Plan Liberalism
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Peal and Millianna	Radical Anti-Slavery Party	Pearl was formerly a servant to Pink Diamond of the Diamond House, one of the biggest, wealthiest families of Beach City. She was also a former officer of the Crystal Legion. She wants to make sure that any form of slavery does not come to Cartoonia, starting with major labor reforms and military reorganization. She also loves earth and will do whatever it takes to ensure that it remains with some environmental policies put in action. Millianna was a former child slave at the Tower of Heaven in the late 1950s, mistaken for a twin sister who is currently serving time in prison for attempted assassination of Siegrain Fernandes. She wants to condemn all those who participated in the action of slavery and put military action first when pursuing them. She also wants to help establish more aid for former slaves to help them get back into normal society.	Stronger military Labor reform Enviormental policies Minimum wage reform Social Welfare programs
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Tamaki Suoh and Rudyard Curtis	Anime Cartoon Liberty Party	Tamaki Suoh is the head of the Suoh Garment Company, the biggest clothes firm in Cartoon, and was the president of the Ouran High School Host Club. Being from a rich family, he promises to establish a type of laissez-faire market economy and supports private Cartoonian industries at home. He wants to increase international trade and wants to strengthen alliances established. He also wants to usher in a golden era of Cartoon Civilization. Rudyard Curtis has an interesting backstory. He was abandoned on an unknown island when he was still a baby until he was found by Izumi Curtis. He served in the Homunculi division of the Cartoon Alchemy Corps under the nickname of “Wrath”. He wants to see new pro-child laws established and child abandonment laws. He also wants more lenient policy of criminal justice punishment.	laissez-faire market Private Enterprises No outsourcing. International Trade Stronger international ties Pro-Child Laws Criminal Justice reform
[img]-[/img] Jellal Fernandes and Kyoya Ottori	Cartoon Party of The Royal Crusades	Jellal Fernandes was once a child slave to the Tower of Heaven and after being freed, served as a civil servant to the newly formed Department of Magic. He is currently the ambassador to the United Island States of AHSCA. He wants to reform Cartoon foreign policy and begin an era of unity among other nations. He wants to protect Toontholosism and other religions through crusading in the Middle East, as well as rebuild magic relations. Kyoya Ootori is the head of the Ootori Healthcare firm, one of the most influential firms in Cartoon, and a former member of The Ouran High School Host Club. He wants to help improve the healthcare system, and improve the standard of living for the half of Cartoonia. He also wants to help rid Cartoonia of the SJW problem it’s having at home, and internationally, all of which requires money which he would enact new economic policies as well as new tax incentives for the rich.	Cartoon diplomatic policy Religious protection Middle East Crusade Improved healthcare system Poverty relief & aid War on SJWs Tax incentives
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Steven Universe and Garnet	The Crystal Gem Freedom Party	Steven Universe was the child of Greg Universe and Rose Quartz, the later a member of the Crystal Legion. He also was a member of the Crystal Legion in the years following his mom’s death. Garnet is a senior officer of the Crystal Legion, knowing Rose Quartz personally. In recent years Garnet came out to the entire proclaiming she was a lesbian and Steven coming out as bisexual. They both want to increase rights for the LGBTQ community in Cartoonia, as well as put an end to any and all hate crimes, even those that are meant to be jokes. They will also end the silver age of Cartoon Imperialism and bring an age of demilitarization, which will cause conflict with the Supreme Leader’s agenda, bringing the issue whether or not the Supreme Leader should still be a figure head of the state or replace it with an elective position.	LGBTQ agenda Anti-hate End Cartoon Imperialism Demilitarization Globalization Transition from “Constitutional Heredity” to a more “Socialist Republic”
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Avdocha Kiltzkaya and Anya Kiltzkaya	The Cartoon Eco-Revolutionist Party	Avdocha Kultzkaya and her sister, Anya, have a… interesting background. She claims to be sent from the gods to bring a new age for earth, some say that they are leaders from a defunct nation not far from here and changed their names to differentiate from their past selves, others say that have been abandoned by their mother on a deserted island. No matter what is true of their past, what is true is that they have been living a primitive life on their own years. Avdocha advocates for an age of reestablishing ourselves with the environment. She and her sister demands decolonization, an end to the supreme leadership, and demilitarization towards small militias. She will put an end to industrialization and modernization, making compulsory environmental laws like nudity, tribal traditionalism, and heavy taxes in the remaining rich population. She will push a more feminist agenda, which may or may not overthrow the current government/state.	Environmental policies Socialism High tax incentives Abolish current economic system Overthrow current government Deindistrialization Decolonization Demilitarize
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Wendy Testaburger and Fanny Fulbright	The Jonestown Liberal Party	Wendy Testaburger is a resident of South Park and is a member of the International Free Feminists of Cartoonia, a society to cleanse Cartoonia into the far left and end Imperialism. She will enact policies to enhance the rights of feminists and the LGBTQ community, and not other majority groups. They will re propose abortion rights that has been outlawed in Cartoonia. Fanny Fulbright was a warrant officer of the KND Corps. She was also a member of the IFFC. She hates boys and men and want them put out of power, even if it means replacing the Supreme Leader with her wife. She will help push social reforms and wars against America and would help Cartoonia not recognize Donald J Trump as President of the US.	Rights of only females and minorities. Anri-men establishments Abortion Social reform Government reform Denounce America
[img]-[/img][img]-[/img] Loud Kiddington and Ciel Phantomhive	The Grand Old Cartoon Party	Loud Kiddington Jr is the head of the Kiddington Toy Company, founded by his father. He is also a member of the Cartoon House Council. He will push for agriculture and economic policies to boost productivity in all of Cartoonia’s industries. He also promises to deregulate the economy, but not to much. Ciel Phantomhive is the owner of Funtom Corporation. A nobleman by nature, also a member of The Cartoon House Council. Had a terrible childhood and vows to reform the national police forces and ensure a system of foster care that helps children recover from trauma is strengthened. He also wants to strengthen up the military and open up on expanding Cartoonia’s current Imperial territories. He also wants Cartoonia to denounce America for a whole lot of problems as of right now, like how they can let politicians bash their nation, or how they can shut down their government for... it was probably two months, at most three. Perhaps this could lead to a war of some sorts	Agriculture Reform Economic policies Economic deregulation Police Reform Foster Care reform Military strengthening Imperial Expansion Denouncing America

This will be the primary election. On The last week of August, an election poll will go up as a sign of Election Day. You will be able to vote for your three favorite parties and the top four parties will go on in the fall for the secondary election, the top two will go head to head for the final election around February of 2020, the winner will be inaugurated by the current Chancellor and Supreme Leader on June 21 of 2020.

Starting as soon as possible, there will be posts about candidates announcing their running to the pubic.

If you want, send IC letters of support, endorsement, etc. If you have any questions about the candidates, please do not hesitate to ask them. They are willing to answer any burning questions that you may have.

[AHSCA]

The United Island States is observing the new chancellery elections in Cartoonia, a friend of the UIS. As such no official endorsement by has been currently made by Her Majesty though she does express admiration for some of the ideas behind the The Crystal Gem Freedom Party as well as the The Cartoon Eco-Revolutionist Party and The Grand Old Cartoon Party while not endorsing all points these parties stand for and thus not giving any formal endorsement. Her Majesty believes a healthy nation has differing ideologies to come forward to discuss the matters and thus would strongly discourage and denounce any overthrow and revolution. The UIS would like to always affirm the nation's right to self-determination of nation states and of course will not show interference to Cartoonia's election despite the passive endorsements to specific parties. Her Majesty will welcome the next Chancellor and continue to hope for furthering of healthy relations between Cartoonia and the UIS for years to come. Any further candidate endorsement will be solely that of the individual and not a broad endorsement by the UIS as a whole. As a point of inquiry though, we are curious as to why the GOCP would denounce America, these are issues we are not aware of in regards to Cartoonia's Foreign policy.

Noir VionCaco,
Under Her Majesty, Duchess Marcella Villa
Second Duchess of the United Island States of AHSCA

[Cartoonia]

Cartoon National Kid Convention, Gallagher Cartoonia, June 21, 2019

Members of the CNK gather at the convention hall of the Imperial Exposition Center. This was the beginning of the political race for all of them. Starting today, parties around Cartoonia will begin their campaign to become Chancellor and Attorney General of the nation. This is an important piece of the puzzle called Imperial Democracy. When it all comes down to it, the Supreme Leader will confirm that the Chancellor and Attorney General are fit for that role, but the people must choose who they want in office. This held the future of Cartoonia and her laws.

It’s been one hectic decade for the people of Cartoonia. Cartoonia opened up more diplomatic relations in the past years as well as trade more. They also, unfortunately lost territories in the land of Equestria. That didn’t stop terrorism rising, a Neo-Zeref Cult rose to rebuild the Tower of Heaven which caused major concern for religion and freedom. SJWs have infiltrated the great American anime industry resulting in the raised tariffs and ultimately an embargo on all Funimation and Rooster Teeth products. The earth is becoming warmer with industries polluting the earth. It’s a very hectic year especially with recent events. That's where the Cartoon National Kid Party comes in.

CNK Party Leader, Bugs Bunny hops on to the stage of to gather the politicians together. He has been appointed party leader by his comrades and has implemented the party ideology of military first, child safety, social welfare, and environmental protection. This was almost equivalent to the United States Democratic Party and the United Kingdom’s Liberal Party, or the Whigs. He taps on a microphone to begin to speak.

“My fellow Wabbits” Bugs begin. “The time is coming for us to select our candidate for the 2019 Cartoon Primary Election”. He pauses and waits for the crowd to finish their applause.

“It has been a weird decade to say the least. We have seen so much pass. The Tower of Heaven, The breakup with Equestria, SJWism on the rise, and so much more. This year is an important year for Cartoonia, this election can make or break the great nation. The time is now that we pick our candidate that will not only represent us, but represent the Cartoon People”.

More applause happens

“Mrs. Erza Scarlet, our current chancellor, has done an amazing job and her party, the Radical Anti-Slavery Party has done so much for our people. Her policies have launched Cartoonia into the new age. Her cabinet, which is also the cabinet of our dear Supreme Leader Jimmy Kudo, has been the best cabinet we have ever seen in our short life as a nation, but now a new age is upon us, and we want to be sure that we are at the forefront of this new age. And thus, we need a young candidate with ambition of military first, child protection, and education, for education is the key to a more civil society”.

More applause.

“So that is why I call… Nigel Uno as our best candidate to represent the CNK and the people of Cartoonia”.

Nigel Uno, born in Gallagher, raised by British parents, has served in Cartoonia’s armed forces in the KND Corps. The current Secretary of Child Safety has always ensured a children first policy, no matter what resolution it was. He has seen, on tv, oppressive dictators, most often adults, who were brutal to kids. Starvation, refugee, torture, etc. He advocated for intervention in these states but the government has always said that they don’t want to get involved. This could be his chance. He makes his way up to the stage.

“Mr. Uno” Bugs says. “As party leader, I must say your record in politics has been outstanding. With our agenda, as well as yours, I believe you are capable of leading our party to victory on Election Day, therefore, I nominate you as our official candidate for the 2019 Cartoon Chancellor election”.

The crowd applauds once more.

“Mr. Bunny, I- I- I- don’t know what to say, it’s truly an honor to be nominated as candidate”.

“Yes it is. Now, you will need an Attorney General to run with you. Mr. Uno, who do you choose”.

Nigel looks around in the crowd of people, looking for respectful and outstanding candidates.

“What I need is someone who will bring crime in Cartoonia to a halt, a guy who supports the people through ideas of health and social welfare. Finally, I need someone to help in protecting the environment. That someone… is… Conan Edogawa. I nominate him as my Attorney General!”

Conan Edogawa, born in Beika City. Raised by the great detective Richard Moore, moved to Gallagher to watch over his older sister, Rachel Moore who married Supreme Leader Jimmy Kudo. Before that, he was a junior detective for the Beika City Metropolitan Police Department. He has a strong sense of justice. He seemed the perfect running mate for the office of the Attorney General. He walks up on stage as well, shakes Nigel’s hand and says thank you to him.

“It’s an honor to serve with you Mr. Uno”.

The crowd applauds.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as Chancellor I will make sure that our nation’s youth are on the tops of our politician’s minds. I will usher in an era of increased standards of living for all Cartoonians. We will combat the threats of slavery and terrorism not just at home, but abroad. Our empire, and the rest of the world. I vow to make our environment safer and cleaner than any past administration. I want to build a safer world for kids everywhere. Educating the public is also important when it comes to a more civil society. It will be my duty to overlook the military and their strength so we can be ready for any battle we have to take on. Whether it be protecting our empire from rebellion, protecting our nation from threats, or combating terrorism and slavery in foreign wars, supported by the Cartoon people of course. We are at the door of a new age, and I want to be the head of this new age. A brave new world requires a brave new leader, so this is where I stand. I humbly accept the nomination of Chancellor. Change is coming, and it will bring us to an Age of Enlightenment. Cartoonia will be stronger, safer, and above all else, wealthier. Cartoons above all!”

The crowd cheers as a band plays Sousa’s The Thunderer.

[Cartoonia]

Cartoon Social Teen Convention, Gallagher. June 22 2019

Opposite of The CNK Convention, the Cartoon Social Teen Convention is meeting up. They are considered the United States Republican Party and the United Kingdom Conservative and Unionist Party, or the Torres. They firmly believe in Cartoonia and empire first, modernization the Cartoon military, welfare, and education. They have always but heads with the Cartoon Nation Kid Party. The party leader, Daffy Duck, gets on stage to call everyone’s attention.

“My fellow Ducks. This election season is about to kickoff but first, I would like to say a word about Mrs. Erza Scarlet, our current Chancellor. Though she has done so much for us in the past, what she has done might have been almost too late. Decisiveness in our country, and to an extent, empire. We might have not lost territories in Equestria if we acted quickly in militarism and not diplomacy. We would have seen less citizens captured and tortured by the Neo-Zeref Cult if we had colonized the island, and looked at what people were doing. In America, Mr. Vic Mingogna might still have his job if we A. Colonized Texas, or B. Kept an eye on the SJW menace. With that said, I stand by the next candidate who will make Cartoonia even greater”. After Daffy’s small speech, the crowd applauded. He then takes out a piece of paper.

“This paper, in my hand, has the name of our next candidate. His name, is someone who will modernize our military, someone who expand our empire, someone to put an end to the Social Justice Warrior Menace”.

The crowd cheers.

“And that person, is the one, the only, Chad Dickson!”

Chad makes it on stage as the crowd cheers. Chad Dickson, not related to the former Supreme Leader, born in Gallagher to rich, conservative parents. He could have been a member of the Grand Old Cartoon Party, but no. He wanted change, change that would make the motto, “Cartoons Above All”, ever ring true. He was a commanding general of the Cartoon Foreign Legion from 1992 to 2001 and is currently serving as the secretary of Defense.

“Chad Dickson” Daffy says “For your dedication to your country, and your military background, as well as your wishes of military expansion, I hereby declare, as the party leader, that you are nominated to be our candidate to represent our party”.

The crowd cheers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen” Chad begins. “I humbly accept the nomination. This is truly one of the most important elections to ever happen. With so many social issues popping up, there is no doubt, a need for a new leader. However, as our constitution states, I must choose an Attorney General, someone who almost aligns with the politics of our rival party, the Cartoon National Kid Party, The Wabbits”.

The crowd murmurs, alignment with another party, that’s not unorthodox, but selecting someone as Attorney General is.

“My Ducks. I hereby nominate, Nelson Muntz as my Attorney General!”

The crowd cheers as Nelson makes it on stage. He is a Springfieldian, but he grew up in poverty. He was known as Springfield Elementary’s big bully. His strong body, and his strong stance on topics made him a great candidate for Attorney General.

“Mr. Dickson, I thank you for your humble nomination”

“Your welcome. Now, fellow Ducks, my Cartoonian friends. This is truly the pinnacle of Cartoonian power. We stand in a new world unlike any other, and unlike past administrations, I will tread on these waters with vigor and pride. As Chancellor, I will see to it, that we expand our empire to a new height. It doesn’t matter how we acquire them, what matters is that we gain more territory. I will invest on internet patrol, so Cartoonia will not be hurt by stupid Social Justice Warrior bull ever again. I will also enter talks with America to see if we can get Vic Migogna rehired, by force or not, or if he can live and work the rest of his life here. Also because of this, I want anyone to say anything they like, Political or otherwise. So I will make sure that free speech is non regulated, that way anyone can say anything and no one will feel oppressed and no one will get hurt. And on reform, I promise you education, social, and health reform, they are the basic building blocks of society, and we will assure them if we can secure that, a new age will dawn for Cartoonia. Cartoonia will be a beacon of light shining through a perilous world. We will be the light of hope shimmering through the bleak of international tension. I swear to you, we will make Cartoonia not just great, but even greater, I will make “Cartoons Above All” a reality. Thank you, and may God bless you!”

The crowd cheers as the band plays Sousa’s Revival March in the background.

[Cartoonia]

Imperial Party of Cartoonia Convention, Central City, June 23, 2019

In the hallowed halls of Central City City Hall, the Imperial Party of Cartoonia gathers to nominate their candidate for the election. The IPC is more of an old school party, a party that values the empires of old, like the German, British, and Japanese empires. They have been in power once in the 1960s, which was also the beginning of the Cartoon Imperial age. They boosted the military, had every citizen conscripted on the Cartoon military which is still a standard today, though only in times of high tension. They had policed most of the Pacific Ocean, but above all, had colonized some places throughout the world. Those colonial possessions still exist today, with the exception of Equestria. They are this close to becoming a full-on Faicist party. What they needed now was a scapegoat for all their troubles, but they just can’t find one. The party leader, King Bradley was on stage, leading the salute to a German Imperial Song. After the song, he grabs everyone’s attention.

“My fellow imperialists. The election is coming soon, and I think it’s high time he Imperial Party takes heed of Cartoon House once more!”

The crowd cheers.

“Our current Chancellor Erza Scarlet, though not bad, could have dealt with the situation in Equestria alot better. We have lost a significant piece of territory because of her. There is no way we can get it back, unless we show off our military might and take it back”.

The crowd cheers

“In the 1960s, Gumball Watterson, who was a member of this party, achieved the Office of The Chancellor. Because of him, we expanded our military might and began the first Cartoon Empire, a truly golden age for Cartoonia. And now, in a day and age like this, we need to spread our might over others once again, in the Middle East, in China, and most importantly, space. Space will truly be our final frontier. We need a leader who will not only lead us to that new age, but also someone with a LARGE personality, someone who will not be submissive, and that person who I nominate will be… Eric Cartman!”

The crowd cheers as Cartman, who was finishing his cheesy poofs, makes it on stage. He is one of the largest people around South Park, in personality that is (as well as in body weight). He is a Freemason, a member of the Order of Mysterio. He also served in the military, as a junior officer in the short lived regiment, The Brotherhood of the Confederacy (You can see why it’s short lived). He has a passion for Cartoonia first and no one else. His favorite heroes are dictators throughout history. He despises any help given to minority groups and would like to end those types of programs. He makes his way to the podium.

“Mr. Bradley, Thank you for the nomination, now fellow imperialists, I promise to-”

“Now hold on young man” King Bradley cuts him off. “There is still the issue of the Attorney General that you need to choose”.

“Fine, fine, I choose the blonde girl in the corner”

“My name is Mandy, nitwit” Mandy responds. Her full name is Mandy Darling. Born in Endsville, basically a goth girl, she was a graduate of The Cartoon Military Academy of Toon Point in 1999, and served as the commanding colonel of The Endsville Brigade, which has grown more militaristic in the past years under her command. She makes on stage.

“Mr. Cartman, even though you are a complete idiot, I applaud you for choosing me as Attorney General, and will do the best to turn Cartoonia into a true imperial stat-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Cartman cuts her off. “My fellow imperialists, the true citizens of Cartoonia. We proud people gather here to support one true power. Our numbers are growing, and we need more land to spread our numbers and messages. We will wage war, wars of which the likes no one has ever seen before. I will end all social programs and welfare. Those poor people do not deserve the riches of Cartoonia if they are not willing to get off their asses and get to it. We will let in no immigrants into our country and our empire. Cartoonians only, as well as to increase available jobs in Cartoonia. Our new space program will be the envy of the world, just you wait, we will colonize Mars by 2021. My administration will face challenges of the new insecure world, and through warfare, we will defeat our enemies and conquer the world. We have the power to change the world. We will become this new Cartoon Order that the world has never seen. This time, Cartoonia will forever win and will be above all others”.

The crowd cheers as Cartman rallies them with a phrase (in German) while a band plays The Königgrätzer Marsch.

“Alle begrüßen das neue Cartoon-Imperium”.

[Cartoonia]

The Cartoonian Communist Convention. Smurf Village Commune. June 30, 2019

The Smurf Village Commune was prospering on it’s own. They separated from the rest of the Cartoonian federal government a long time ago. The Smurfs were fond of Karl Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”. Years of isolation made Smurf Village a remote village in the heart of the Mainland Province. It’s been another successful year for the commune, but the Smurfs want to go out there and represent the communist values of their little commune, to the rest of Cartoonia. So they reorganized the Cartoon Communist Party in their commune, at the beginning of their meeting, they had a record playing The Internationale. Once it stopped, Papa Smurf rallies his Smurfs.

“My fellow Smurfs, this day is truly important, for we smurf our way out of this wonderful commune and turn the rest of Cartoonia into a communist state. It shall be a glorious day for Cartoonia when our first communist chancellor has been elected to the office”.

His Smurfs cheer on their papa. He’s not really his papa, but that’s who they call their great leader of the commune.

“Now, our first order is to choose who our candidate will be. Anysmurf want to suggest somesmurf?”

The Smurfs were murmuring, but then an uproar began saying Papa Smurf.

“Me?” Papa Smurf asked, “I don’t know about this”

“But Papa Smurf” Smurfette said, “you are the most capable person to rule Cartoonia, if you are the leader of our commune, then surely you can lead this nation”.

“She’s right Papa Smurf” shouted Hefty Smurf.

“Yes, we need a leader who can create a new liberal government, and give all authority to the legislature. A leader who can declare isolationism, where we shall never get involved in foreign wars ever again. A leader who can reform our capitalistic society into a more fair, simple, communist society. We need someone who can effectively increase productivity, and what smurf is better for the job than you!” Said Brain Smurf. Papa Smurf thought about if for a good minute.

“Hmmm…” Papa Smurf began. “Maybe it seems like I should run. Ok Smurfs, I am officially smurffing for the office of the Chancellor!”

The smurfs begin to cheer.

“And on that matter, I nominate Brainy Smurf as my Attorney General!”

The smurfs cheer, but in a less enthusiastic manner. Brainy is thrilled.

“Why thank you Papa Smurf, I will do, to the best of my ability, run the office of Attorney General as many great communist leaders have done in their past government. I will-”

“Oh Smurf up Brainy” the Smurfs shouted in annoyance.

“Anyway, my fellow Smurfs, today is the start of a new future for the Smurf Village Commune and Cartoonia, for it’s the beginning of a new communist era, one where production and isolation will begin. The government will take control of all major industries and will command the greatest military. But no more to war we say. There is no reason for Cartoonia to involve itself with foreign wars, I will declare isolation. This is our time to show what a good communist system can look like. My fellow Smurfs, here’s to a new internationale!”

The smurfs cheer as a recording of The Soviet V’put plays

[Cartoonia]

ATTENTION

Early polling is available. Because of how much I can put in on the poll, one party is not on the poll, The Cartoon Communist Party. If you would like to vote, please send a letter of endorsement, as with all the other candidates. You are allowed three endorsements.

Also, candidates are available to answer any questions that you have about their ideal administrative promises.

Thank you,
-The National Election Commitee

[AHSCA]

The Kiltzkaya Sisters, Avdocha Kiltzkaya and Anya Kiltzkaya


I hope this communique finds you both well. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Miela, a Tribes Woman and member of the UIS Congress in AHSCA. I must say looking through your opposition I don't find many of them as appealing as the both of you. I love your environmental stance and a seeming commitment to old values. Maybe you both have some Islander blood in you? Hard to say but you'd do nicely here. Win or lose I only want to show you my support and endorsement to you, as our nation as a whole is remaining neutral on the subject, which is understandable from The Duchess' standpoint. As I'm in politics, I'm very limited to what I can do in support bound by our laws and constitution of which invests supreme power in Our Lady. But consider me, a private citizen, showing my endorsement to you both, again as a private citizen, this in no way comes fro the UIS itself. That said win or lose, I also want to invite a personal relationship with you. Welcome you to the fine state of Corona to meet with me and Chief Ayla personally. If you do manage the Chancellery with enough work even with Her Majesty the Duchess. We only want to strengthen ties between you.

On a personal note, I believe this is a big step of Negren pride everywhere, that is our shared racial heritage of dark skin and likely island heritage. To a bright future of your people and ours, ladies.

Miela of Corona Island.

[Cartoonia]

Radical Anti-Slavery Convention, New Rosemary Town, Cartoonia, July 10, 2019

New Rosemary Town, built next to the remains of the original Rosemary Village after the pillage by the Zeref Cult In 1954. It was here when Supreme Leader Chad Dickson said that “from the ashes and mistakes of our past, we will rebuild and restore the innocence of this place. It will be the starting point for the end of these raids and pillages once and for all”. From the ashes of Rosemary Village, this town grew, and from the words of the former Supreme Leader, a new party formed in 1961. The Radical Anti-Slavery Party is for the end of slavery not just in Cartoonia, but in the whole world. They always promise a stronger military to combat foes of freedom. Strong labor reform is also important, as to not make the working classes wage slaves as well. They always pursuit a diplomatic policy where they can fight in foreign lands. They believe that those in charge of enslavement should be severely punished and shunned by the whole world, as well as send aid to those who were enslaved. It had a reputation to maintain as it was the ruling party alongside the Cartoon National Kid Party In Cartoon House, with Erza Scarlet as current Chancellor and Lisa Simpson as current Attorney General. Members gather in a school gym while the party leader, Alibaba Saluja, gathers everyone's attention.

“Friends. It is time we select our candidate for the next election. We have a reputation to maintain as we are currently the ruling party along with the CNK in Cartoon House because of our current Chancellor. We all know how much of a bang up job Erza did these past years. Under her administration we have seen labor reform, making us the number one worker friendly nation in the world. We have reached our hands across the sea in new diplomatic relations with various countries. We have ushered in a new era of equality and freedom. And, unfortunately, even though we faced emergencies in our time, she pulled us through along with our great Supreme Leader. And now we must choose a successor who will surely bring our party back for another ten years in power with the office of the Chancellor!”

The crowd cheers. And they are ecstatic.

“I must first say thank you to those who had sent in applications to become the party candidate. However, there can only be one person. So the committee and I have decided on our candidate. She is strong, majestic, and the highest example of what it means to be a member of this party. The party of free people and those who want to rid the world of slavery. I give you… from magnificent Beach City, Pearl of the Crystal Gems!”

Pearl was super ecstatic. The crowd cheers for her as she walks up to the stage. Pearl was a servant to the Diamond House of Beach City back in the late eighties. This family was a trafficking mafia, trafficking women and children in Asia and making them slaves in the Diamond mines near Beach City. She always thought to herself that she too was a slave to them. In 1999, Diamond House shattered when Pink Diamond “died” and the whole entire operation was found out by a young officer of the Crystal Legion by the name of Rose Quartz. Pearl, being freed from Diamond House, joined the Crystal Legion and became a young junior officer and by the end of her military service, she was a colonel. She interested herself in politics and is currently the secretary of the Interior. She is an advocate of military might against slavery and would often go to the secretary of Defense on locations of slave camps and ask for military assistance. She also loves the earth. She loves nature and just the sheer beauty of the planet. And with global warming and climate change, she vowed to do her best to protect the planet with suggestions for environment reforms. She now walks up on stage as the crowd continues to cheer, cutting them off.

“I am honored to be nominated for the RAS candidate for the office of the Chancellor. I feel like we will prevail as a force for good and champion of the people. Now, at this time I would like to choose my running mate, who will ultimately be Attorney General. And that person will be… Millianna, the wizard from Mermaid Heel!”

Millianna heard her name called and just meowed, being a cat lover, amazed and happy to be chosen. She makes her way to join Pearl as the crowd cheers. Millianna was a child slave to the Tower of Heaven in the 1950s when she was just a young girl. She was freed after the 1959 battle and lived with Simon and Kagura, who was taken in by Mermaid Heel in 1955 following the raid of Rosemary. She too joined Mermaid Heel and gotten stronger with her magic. She found out she had a twin sister, but she is currently doing time for attempting assasination of Seigrain Fernandes. She has a strong sense for freedom and condemns any nation who still practices it. She also wants to help former slaves get back into society, so traumatic experiences don’t carry on in the future for these people. She makes it on stage.

“Thank you Pearl! I’ll do my best to help fight this war on slavery. I understand the pain of these slaves, since I was one and I want to see that they are never again terrorized by these memories”.

The crowd cheers.

“Welcome aboard Millianna. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a new day for this great society. We have perused a war on slavery and it will be my job that military get’s enough to fight these wars in the future. I want our people to feel like they are free, not slaves to wage jobs. I vow to reform worker’s rights and increase the minimum wage so that workers won’t have to suffer for just basic necessities to live. I promise to create more social welfare programs and to provide the best care for those who were enslaved but are now free. The environment in another issue I would like to tackle. I love earth, and I will do everything in my power to protect it. I will introduce new environment incentives to reduce our carbon footprint and introduce new national parks to protect our environment and scenery. As the secretary of the Interior, I have gained political experience and though I am pretty young running, my spirit is what will win people over. I will see Cartoonia enter a new era of freedom, peace, and prosperity. A new age has dawned and you can bet “Cartoons Above All” will be that new sword over the slave oppression and the torch for those victim. Here’s to the new era!”.

The crowd cheers once more as a band plays The March from Dambusters.

---

The Kiltzkaya Sisters, Avdocha Kiltzkaya and Anya Kiltzkaya


I hope this communique finds you both well. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Miela, a Tribes Woman and member of the UIS Congress in AHSCA. I must say looking through your opposition I don't find many of them as appealing as the both of you. I love your environmental stance and a seeming commitment to old values. Maybe you both have some Islander blood in you? Hard to say but you'd do nicely here. Win or lose I only want to show you my support and endorsement to you, as our nation as a whole is remaining neutral on the subject, which is understandable from The Duchess' standpoint. As I'm in politics, I'm very limited to what I can do in support bound by our laws and constitution of which invests supreme power in Our Lady. But consider me, a private citizen, showing my endorsement to you both, again as a private citizen, this in no way comes fro the UIS itself. That said win or lose, I also want to invite a personal relationship with you. Welcome you to the fine state of Corona to meet with me and Chief Ayla personally. If you do manage the Chancellery with enough work even with Her Majesty the Duchess. We only want to strengthen ties between you.

On a personal note, I believe this is a big step of Negren pride everywhere, that is our shared racial heritage of dark skin and likely island heritage. To a bright future of your people and ours, ladies.

Miela of Corona Island.

To Miela of Corona Island,

On behalf of me, my sister, and the Eco-Revolutionary Party, we thank you for the endorsement, it will surely help us in the election. I see you are interested in my views on the environment and detechnologization. The modernization of our world is a true sin to the gods, and it will be my duty to put an end to this dirty, heathen, Industrial Age and bring back the age of simplicity. The Great Goddess has chosen me to fight the industrial sinners and aggressors and bring this nation back to it’s heavenly roots. I’m sure I can tell you more soon, as after the election is over, either I win or lose, I would like to visit your homeland, as it reminds me of my own, as I share some of that islander blood myself. I look forward to it.

May the Great Goddess bless you,
Avdocha Kiltzkaya.
Chancellor Candidate for the Eco-Revolutionary Party of Cartoonia

[The Cartoon World Order]

Lady Fanny Fulbright, Earl of Ireland
The CWO Foreign Ministry Office
432 Fulbright Road
Dublin, Ireland, 6W

July 11, 2019. 3:46 PM


To Cartoon House of Cartoonia,

His Excellency, Our glorious leader of the Cartoon World Order, Grand General Gumball Watterson, Emperor of the First Cartoon Empire, has announced his support and endorsement for his three favorite parties. He will support the Cartoon Social Teen Party and their candidates, Chad Dickson and Nelson Muntz, The Imperial Party and their candidates, Erica Cartman and Mandy Darling, and The Party of The Royal Crusades and their candidates, Jellal Fernandes and Kyoya Ottori. Personally, we prefer to have only one person in power, but we don’t really care what happens outside of our empire. We hope you choose a damn fine leader, or else...

All hail the New Cartoon World Order,

Lady Fanny Fulbright, Earl of Ireland, Head-Foreign Affairs Chief

[Cartoonia]

Anime Cartoon Liberty Convention. Ouran, Cartoonia. July 18, 2019

The members of the ACLP were making their way to their party convention which was at the Ouran Academy, which is off for summer break. The Anime Cartoon Liberty Party was founded in the fire and heat of the First Tower of Heaven War in 1959. Where members of both the CNK and CST came together and agreed on issues that would proceed after the war was over, like aid to victims, public housing, punishments, and civil liberties for all. They came and formed the Rising Liberty Pact which was the basis for the new political party. In more recent years, they have focused on economic reforms like private enterprises, with making outsourcing a thing of the past, which would be more useful as it would provide more jobs to Cartoonian workers. They also reaching into strong foreign relations and less restricting international trade agreements. Justice has become a talking point, especially now with actors right and left are being ousted for accusations, which some don’t even have proper evidence. It’s these reforms that the party wants to make. Before that happens though, they must produce a candidate. Party leader Tenya Iida gets the people’s attention as he clears his throat.

“Everyone, please settle down!” Tenya shouts. “We meet have your full attention for us to continue on”.

The crows settles down.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come to select our next candidate for the 2019 primary elections for the office of the Chancellor. Mrs. Erza Scarlet will be leaving the office soon, and it will be our task to find a suitable candidate that will carry the name and ideology of the Anime Cartoon Liberty Party!”

The crowd cheers.

“Before I announce the committee’s choice for the candidate. Let me review some of the things that has happened in the last couple of years under Chancellor Erza Scarlet. Foreign relations were increased, the economy was booming, despite the international fiscal crash of ‘07-‘08. Trade was also increased and our military has strengthened. It is true that we lost our Equestrian colonies, but we bounced back with the Second Tower of Heaven War earlier this year. Unfortunately, there has been a massive wave of SJWism abroad and home. American voice actor Vic Mignogna was cut off due to accusations that have not been fully supported, and just so you all know, we all stand with Vic because he is just as important to us as John Philip Sousa. However, many of the SJW population here are on the other side and demand our cultural heritage taken down. We already have taken incentives as a government. We ceased the trade of anime products from America, a type of tariff turned embargo. We have committed to the truth and will not believe a word of a person until evidence is provided. Now, as Erza leaves, we should continue the quest to make Cartoonia free and prosperous for the next ten years!”

The crowd cheers and screams “Cartoonia” before Tenya calms them.

“Now it’s time to reveal next years candidate. The committee and I, the party leader, have been tracking the progress of each member of our party. These selections are based on merit, political ability, education, and outstanding service to the party. Today, we are pleased to announce that the candidate we have selected for the office of the Chancellor is… Tamaki Suoh!”

The crowd cheers as Tamaki humbly rushes to the stage. Tamaki Suoh is the current CEO of the Suoh Garment Company, the biggest and largest clothing companies in Cartoonia. Formally, he was known as the president of the Ouran HighSchool Host Club, located at the Ouran Academy, where handsome boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have too much time on their hands. He may be a rich boy, but he cares for his people and their well being. As a capitalist entrepreneur, he wants to see Cartoonian industries produce inside Cartoonia, no outsourcing. He wants to increase diplomacy and trade with other nations. Furthermore, he has been hit by the SJW craze personally. The host club disbanded because of how much the feminists said that it would lead to sexual assault, which was stupid, seeing how the host club prides itself on being chivalrous and it’s aims of just trying to entertain, but the school board had to shut it down because of the wave of feminists. What’s worse was that his favorite voice actor, Vic Mingogna, the voice of himself when he did the TV show, Ouran HighSchool Host Club a couple of years back, got fired from both Funimation and Rooster Teeth for accusations that have been investigated thoroughly. This enraged him, and tried to do something about it. Now was his chance. He gathered the people in the hall.

“Ladies and gentlemen. I truly am humble for this nomination for the office of the chancellor. It truly is an honor to be serving you”.

“Mr. Suoh, your track record on politics and education, as well as your merit in society as a rich entrepreneur, makes you the perfect candidate. I’m sure you will lead us to victory!” Tenya states while the crowd cheers.

“Thank you Mr. Iida. Now, I would like to have the pleasure of nominating the Attorney General. The person should care for the children of our nation. Someone who will protect them from poverty and aid those abandoned. They should also help in my quest to protect Cartoonia from the rising SJW menace. For that reason, I choose... Rudyard Curtis, also known as Wrath of the Homunculus Division of the Cartoon Alchemy Corps!”

Rudyard Curtis, or Wrath, looked confused, but just went for it and went up. He has a… interesting backstory to say the least. When he was younger, he was abandoned on an island off the coast of Amestria. He was living in the wild for years. That was until a woman named Izumi Curtis showed up and adopted him. They were poor but at least Izumi put him through school. Izumi died from some sort of cancer that developed, and that’s when Rudyard left their town of Dublith and joined the military in Central City. He has shown significant a specialty for alchemy, which got him into the ranks of the Homunculus Division of the Cartoon Alchemy Corps where he was given the nickname Wrath. From this background, he developed a strong voice for child safety, welfare, and health reform. He goes up to the stage.

“Thanks for the nomination” Wrath said.

“No problem” Tamaki responds. “Ladies and gentlemen. This is a time to be alive. I will make great promises for you. The state of foreign affairs we’ll be ever increasing under my administration. We will make sure that our economy is Cartoonian by bringing our industry back from Asia and bringing jobs for Cartoonia. Our economy is based on our current industrial capacity and it needs to expand. I will end this outsourcing our nation has been participating in, as it takes jobs from Cartoonia. Trade is something I want to expand on. As for reform. My Attorney General will suggest to me reform three major departments. Child Safety, Health, and Justice. With him, I will help address the growing SJW movement in Cartoonia, which is very Un-Cartoonian of them to do so. I preach diversity among our population. However, if it gets in the way of our cultural heritage. I will do what is invested in my power to stop the, at once, this metoo movement has gone too far, ruining the lives of many of our most prominent members of society, and I will not idle by as many more are thrown under the bus. I’ll make sure that everyone is protected under the law. I will make sure our nation is stronger than those liberal SJW menaces. Cartoons will be above all as a standard for the modern imperial democratic society. Here’s to great election!”

The crowd cheers his words as the band plays Sousa’s Liberty Bell

[Cartoonia]

OOC ATTENTION:

Elections will now be moved to the last week of August to give me more time to think of candidates opening statements. This also acts as a bump for anyone who wants to participate in the election.

[Cartoonia]

Cartoon Party of The Royal Crusades Convention, Era, July 30, 2019

Era is today, one of the most European influenced cities in Cartoonia. It’s roots lying in Prussian/Germanic tradition. It hosts a variety of traditional approaches to city counseling and conservative views. The most recognizable building in the city was the former magic council building. From the early days of modern magic in the early 20th century, to its demise in 1961 after the magic council disbanded in favor for a national department of magic, and then its preservation in the early 1980s, it holds the history of the modern magic world and how bad unchecked magical power can be. It is here today as the meeting place for the Cartoon Party of The Royal Crusades. This political party was established to make Cartoonia more religiously inclined, more war ready, and continue the fight that their European ancestors fought hundreds of years ago, hence the name. They are loyal and true to their cause and are heavily influenced by the pre modern European powers, like Prussia. They usually wear uniforms and outfits of the Prussian officials. They even have their own Prussian guards with a band detachment, which plays both modern American marches and old Prussian ones. As the convention was about to unfold, the band played a familiar Prussian tune “Badonviller”. The band stops playing while the party leader, the Springfield Reverend Lovejoy, gets everyone’s attention.

“My friends, brothers and sisters. Our voice in this country is now more important than ever this year, and the time is now that we try to lead Cartoonia in the new age in the 2019 Chancellor elections!”.

The crowd cheers.

“These past ten years under the current Chancellor, Erza Scarlet, has been tenuous. With this administration going through some of the most turbulent times ever in the history of not only our nation, but the entire world. Not only have the pony heathens broke away from our empire, they have committed heresy against the church of Toontholosism. Other heathens spread throughout this world, especially those who still worship the false god, Zeref, as his followers try to build another Tower of Heaven that we had to fight. This world has gone into the sinker, for the world has diverged from the true paths to God. Christianity and Toontholosism. The United States, our most faithful ally, is now in chaos as this #metoo movement is taking ahold of them and the recent… incidents that made us rethink our laws. It is now our God given right to save these nations from damnation once and for all!”

The crowd cheers saying “hallelujah! We are saved!”

“I have been talking with the other reverends, priests, and the archdiocese of Gallagher, as well as the General of the 76th Army Prussian Regiment and we have come up with our candidate for Chancellor. I am happy to announce that our candidate is… brother Jellal Fernandes!”

The crowd cheers as Jellal goes up to the stage waving to the people. His past is similar to the Chancellor and an opponent for the office of Chancellor. He was kidnapped from his village and was made into a slave to the Tower of Heaven in the 1950s. After being freed by the Cartoon forces, he sworn to serve their saviors. In the 1970s, he worked as a civil servant in the newly formed Department of Magic where he rose to become the head of the dark magic location and research agency. He also works alongside the Fairy Tail guild, who has always recommended one of their wizards to S-class, and has always recommended pardons for them after saving lives that lead up to a moderate or severe property damage. His cunning edge diplomacy has given the Cartoon House a reason to nominate him as ambassador to the nation of the United Island States of AHSCA, whom he is currently serving. He always had a sense of freedom and willingness to achieve it no matter the cost. His time as ambassador has made him want to change foreign policy. His awareness of American news have also made him want to change domestic policies. He comes on to the stage.

“Reverend, I really don’t deserve this”.

“Oh, but brother Jellal, it is the will of God that you pull us through these times”

“If God says so, it truly is an honor to be nominated as a candidate for the office of Chancellor”.

“Yes brother Jellal. It’s now your turn to choose your running mate for the office of the Attorney General, choose wisely brother”.

“I choose… brother Kyoya Ootori. He seems like a good man to run for Attorney General”.

“A very wise choice brother Jellal”. The crowd cheers on as Kyoya gets up on to the stage. Kyoya is the current head of the Ootori Healthcare firm, one of the biggest private healthcare facilities in Cartoonia and her imperial territories. The family is at the forefront of modern medicine and innovative medical technologies. He was also a former member of the Ouran HighSchool Host Club and was supervising president when Tamaki was not available to do his duty. He is a kind of shrewd yet compassionate man who wants to raise the standard of living in Cartoonia and implement economic policies to boost the international economy. He sees the problem with these so called social justice warriors and would like to deal with this problem once and for all. He gets up on stage and shakes Jellal’s hand.

“It is an honor to be here as your running mate. I’ll do my best as always”.

“Please, The pleasure is mine. I think together, we can bring Cartoonia into the golden age of economic religious prosperity”.

“Quite so”. The crowd cheers on. Jellal clears his throat.

“Brothers and sisters. I promise under my administration, we shall prosper into the golden age. I will use my diplomatic skills as an ambassador to redefine Cartoon’s foreign policies to ensure that our allies benefit the rewards of our empire. We will protect the religious rights to worship who they want and have the freedom to be protected from those religions that cause harm to others. I will further the crackdown on religious terrorism by doing what our European ancestors did. I shall declare war on the Middle East on a type of holy crusade. Instead of reclaiming the holy land, I shall help fight terrorism of these radical religions. I was a victim of radical religion and as a result, I bear the scars of slavery that no child should have to bear. Brother Kyoya, would you like to say a few words?”

“Yes. I’d like to address the health situation in this country. Though we today are healthier than our ancestors of the past, there are new health issues that have never appeared before. There are those who still don’t have proper access to good health care. I propose we improve our healthcare system. As the head of a healthcare firm myself, I am capable of helping pulling it off. We should go out and provide relief and aid to help those below our poverty line. The standard of living should be the highest in the world that will surely surpass America. Speaking of America, this SJW situation has gone too far I should say. That”s why we will have a crackdown on these SJWs and see if we can just calm them down and make them rationally think. And I think that is all I have to say. Any closing remarks brother Jellal?”

“Yes. All of Cartoonia’s work from the past years will crumble if we don’t protect our history and culture. Our Cartoonian way of life depends on how devoted we are in faith, in heritage, and to the peace of the world. We will fight our enemies and expand our might. If they attack us, there will be no turning back. Fighting is our only chance to survive and make the change we want, and with God on our side, there is no way we can lose. Thank you, may God bless you, us, Cartoonia, and most importantly, Cartoons Above All”.

The crowd cheers on for him as the band plays Sousa’s The Crusader March while chanting,

“God Save Cartoonia!”

[Cartoonia]

The Crystal Gem Freedom Party Convention, Beach City, August 11, 2019.

One of the younger liberal parties in Cartoonia, founded in 1962, The Crystal Gem Freedom Party serves as a free world party, ready to revolutionize society and revamp the economy. It’s more of a liberal communist party than anything. Beach City serves as their headquarters as it has a deep past connected to it. Though the Crystal Gem Party was founded in ‘62, most members were once servants to the Diamond house, one of the biggest mining families in Beach City in the early 1900s. Rose Quartz Sr. was the one who actually got this party off the ground. When the Crystal Legion was young, around the 1940s, Rose Quartz was a young officer. In the 1960s, she became politically active and would found the CGFP to represent semi-communist ideals in Cartoon House. Diamond House came tumbling down in 1999, but the party remained as a symbol of freedom. The party is currently mismanaged but it has gotten back on track, Ronaldo Fryman is the current party leader, and is ready to announce the candidate for Cartoon House.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of The CGFP!” He shouted. “It is time again that we go forth and have a voice in our government. Our leader must be the one that heads our government and I know our choice will be the right one”.

The crowd cheers.

“We have witnessed many things happen under ten year leadership of Ms. Erza Scarlet. We have seen the break up of Equestria and The Tower of Heaven returning. We have seen LGBTQ community being brought onto the national stage, and policies that protect our rights have been written into law, this is a victory to all liberal parties everywhere”.

“There is however, a grave danger if we don’t secure our seat in Cartoon House, the conservatives will take away everything and we will be left with nothing. The conservatives are planning to conquer the entire world, in kahoots with our own Supreme Leader. They are ripping our ecosystem to make their industries flourish. They are hiding government secrets in some weird desert area where they keeping aliens, human nekos, and anime girls from us”. The crowd was murmuring about this guy’s credibility. Some of the members were women that worked for the studios as anime characters, and aren’t some of the wattersons technically cats? Oh, but they went along with it. Clapping at his words.

“This will require us to nominate two people for both the office of Chancellor and Attorney General, and I’m proud to say that those candidates will be… My friends… Steven Universe and Garnet of The Crystal Gems!”

The crowd cheers on for Steven and Garnet as they go up on stage. Both of these people were members of the Crystal Legion, with Steven Universe being the son of Rose Quartz who joined after his mom’s death. Garnet was also a close friend of Rose when she served as a senior officer, and subsequently became friends with Steven. It was recently in 2009 that Garnet came out and announced she was a lesbian and Steven announced he was bisexual. They have become more politically active since then and have made it their aim to represent the LGBTQ community in Cartoon House. They go up to the stage.

“Ronaldo, it’s a pleasure to be nominated to the office of Chancellor. I will do my duty as the greatest Chancellor of a new Cartoon era. Garnet do you have anything to say?”.

“I am humbled to be nominated too”. The crowd cheers on for them.

“As Chancellor, I will do my best to represent the LGBTQ community and increase their rights as citizens of Cartoonia. I will put an end to hate crime in Cartoonia and any jokes related to racial, religious, nationality, sexual insensitivity. There is no room for hate nor insensitivity in the entertainment industry. I think Garnet would like to have a go at promising you our ambitions”.

“Yes Steven. I would like to say that those conservatives who down talk the LGBTQ community have no idea what they’re dealing with. We are misrepresented and mistreated by them, like we’re inferior. This dogma was because of this second, silver age of Cartoon Imperialism”. She does bring a point. Well, on imperialism, not the conservative dogma. The Cartoon empire has spread around the world. Cartoon has become influential on the world stage. This age however might not last long under… next year's political position.

“Friends, I will demand an end to this imperial era of Cartoonia before it wipes out the entire world of their cultures. While the conservatives and imperialists have control of Cartoon House, but with us in control. We will oppose any imperial laws, thus breaking down the imperial governments in other territories and the consequential independence from this atrocity of an empire”. Garnet said all this passionately. She hated the current government and the empire for that matter, she’ll have the power of Attorney General along with Steven Universe, who share the same interests as Garnet.

“Garnet speaks the truth. Imperialism will end with us, and an age of globalization will begin. Instead of conquering people to end problems, we will use diplomacy and our industrial might, which will be run by the state and on clean energy by the way, to make the world better. We will downsize our military to pave way for this era, the military is really scary and not an important part of this new age. A semi communist state will form from our new policies. A new age will dawn soon”.

“Wouldn’t the Supreme Leader be upset and kick you out of office?” Someone shouted, and they’re right. The Supreme Leader has constitutional power to kick them out of office if there is a reason and if the people speak up against the administration.

“That’s where our new policy comes in” Garnet said. “Centralized Federal power seems to always get in the way of the power of law and the rights of others. The bureaucracy, under one leader, has been following his rule and not others. That’s why when we are elected. There will be no more Supreme Leadership”. The crowd gasps and murmurs. The Supreme Leader has always been apart of Cartoon history, getting rid of that position might be a new age of political instability.

“Our policies will bring a new era of Cartoonia. An era of peace and non violence. An age where imperialism is no more. Down with the Supreme Leader and long live the government institutions. Cartoons are equal and not above anyone else. We are the free Cartoon people!”.

Most of the crowd cheers, while others were questioning their leaders as the rock band (because military bands are too inperialistic) play their own theme of their own creation.

[Cartoonia]

To save time, the last three parties will be announced at the same time.

The Cartoon Eco-Revolutionary Convention. Western Pacifica beach. August 16, 2019

The Cartoon Eco-Revolutionary Party is a more recent party out of the early days of Cartoonian politics. Since the concern of climate change, global warming, and the energy crisis occurred, the party formed to change Cartoonia’s economic, industrial, social, and military policies. They want to bring Cartoonia back to a more primitive age, mostly like the many undiscovered tribes of the world. The problem is that Cartoonia is so industrialized at this point, that it would collapse under these policies. No one knows that though, which is why this party still functions as a minor party. The party leader Hakaze Kusaribe said pretty much the same thing almost every leader in Cartoonia had said. New era dawns, party shall be on the forefront, their Chancellor lead Cartoonia into a brighter future, etc. etc. Hakaze then proceeds to nominate Avdocha Kiltzkaya as Chancellor who also nominated her sister Anya Kiltzkaya as her right hand woman, the Attorney General.

No one knows where they came from actually. Some say they are refugees and actually leaders of a defunct nation from many years ago, not far from here. Others, including herself, believe that she is from the heavens, sent by the great goddess herself. They have been living the primitive life for years, and she hopes to get the rest of the nation to follow suit. She has a religious, socialist, primitive ideology that will alter Cartoonia’s course.

“My friends. The Great Goddess has told me that Cartoonia is on the verge of societal collapse if this, technological, industrial society keeps progressing. We will lose touch with nature, as well as ourselves if we let modernization take over the world. As with our global outreach, our imperialist policies are destroying the earth and our relations, not to mention the freedom of many. When I become Chancellor, things will be different. Environment will be a number one priority. We will downsize our industrial capacity to only agriculture and fishery. Our government must be responsible for all of the people’s welfare and to make sure that modernization doesn’t happen again. High taxes will be placed on importation and luxury goods, for these luxuries are a sin against the Great Goddess, in fact, we shall abolish capitalism altogether. Money is the root of all evil, getting rid of it for a barter system shall cleanse us from these sins. I call for the immediate decolonization and demilitarization of this nation. Guns, rifles, and industrial weapons are banned. We only need swords, Spears, and bows for our new born nation. Our foreign policy will be of isolation, outside influences from the other industrial nations shall be heathenistic to this reborn nation”.

“The Supreme Leader will not like this!” Shouted someone. Her sister would speak out.

“You May have a point, but there will be no Supreme Leader when we are elected, are other first act my sister will propose will be to overthrow the current government system. We will replace with a matriarchal autocratic chiefdom. Men have no place in modern politics, and with new environmental policies need one person to enforce everything. The new regime will be benevolent though, as we will be willed to the holiness of the Great Goddess. She has enlightened my sister and we believe that she could guide us as a holy, primitive nation, in a scary industrial world”.

“We said dear sister. We will bring Cartoonia enlightenment of the gods to their industrial heretics. This crime against earth shall no longer be. Death to the capitalists and industries, all hail to our Great Goddess!”.

Some people clapped and cheered while a group played some Tribal Music.

---

The Jonestown Liberal Convention, South Park, August 17, 2019

The Jonestown Liberal Party (Named after that cult… yeah) is one of the more recently established parties in Cartoonia in coherence with the rise of neo-feminism in the modern era. A matriarchal party, only including men of the LGBTQ community, the party preaches, but doesn’t really practice. They believe in a quote of “girls run the world” and also believe that men should be slaves. Yet they preach equality, which kinda makes their points… like a double edged sword. Some of the most controversial issues a talked here, but they don’t use force to end it. Abortion is their top priority in a nation that forbids the practice. It’s not a very popular party to others, but to social media fanatics, it’s their go to party. The party leader, Malty S Melromarc, talked about the same thing literally everyone was talking about. However, she adds that America sucks and needs to be changed and the Funimation situation is totally justified, because all men are jerks and womanizers. She proceeds to select Wendy Testaburger as Chancellor and Fanny Fulbright as Attorney General.

Both Wendy and Fanny are both members of the Freemason group, the International Free Feminists of Cartoonia. Fanny Fulbright was actually a former warrant officer for the KND Corps. Wendy and Fanny both hate boys and believe they are stupid. To cleanse Cartoonia into a more liberal state, there will need to be some serious overhaul.

“My friends! This patriarchal government has been oppressing us for many years. Men have been sexualizing us and ridiculing our brain talent for our body. The white Cartoon man has been oppressing many minorites and has been pushing for a more nationalistic agenda”. What she said was not really true, but she wants to sound like the victim.

“I want to establish the man free society. We will boast the rights of us females and minorities everywhere. We will make men weak and thus boosting our voice in Cartoon House. It’s safe to say that the modern era needs a female leader, not like Ms. Erza Scarlet, Who was bent by the will of the conservatives. Women need abortions because it hurts us to have children. So I will initiate the need for the right to abortion. The rights of women are at stake friends”.

“I’d like to say a few words ma’am” Fanny said.

“You may proceed”.

“Stoopid boys suck! Our government is ridden with the mistake that was men. These boys don’t know what anyone wants and controls everything. We will reform the government to make women more powerful. And of course, there is the menace of America. Our “ally”. Their president is terrible, as a boy is. Their society is collapsing, and I, we don’t want to be apart of it. Either we cut them off or we go to war… maybe”.

“Thank you Fanny. Friends! The old government is a problem. Supreme Leader Jimmy Kudo, a man, is not a good enough leader to lead this new age. I propose we overthrow Jimmy with his wife, to make a perfect matriarchal society. This is a new era, where girls rule and boys are to be at our whim. This is the new world. A new leader for a new world is what is needed! Thank you”.

The girls cheered on as… nothing plays, no band plays in the background.

---

The Grand Old Cartoon Convention. Elmore, August 18, 2019

With the rise of neo-feminism in the 2010s, parties have been formed or rebranded to get with modern times. The Grand Old Cartoon Party is one of them. Formally the Cartoon Conservative’s club, this was now a full fledged party trying to keep conservative views in Cartoonia prevalent. Whether be less gun regulation, religious views in schools, the tradition of marriage, they were more conservative than the other conservative parties in Cartoonia. They had their vision of a perfect Cartoonia. Again, as repeated over and over, the party leader, Quincy Magoo, says what the other party leaders were saying. He then proceeds to choose Loud Kiddington as candidate for Chancellor and Ciel Phantomhive as candidate for Attorney General.

Loud and Ciel are both rich as hell and powerful company presidents. Loud is the president of Kiddington Toys, one of the oldest established companies in Cartoonia founded by his father, Loud Sr. Ciel is the president of the Funtom Corporation, though a recently established company, it has risen to the top. Both are members of the Cartoon Council, the upper legislative body of Cartoon House. Where Loud had a normal childhood, Ciel had one of being orphaned, kidnapped , trafficked, and abused. He was saved and brought back into high society, but the trauma still lingers in him. Both are great politicians and businessmen that have power and prestige.

“MY FELLOW CONSERVATIVES!” Loud shouts, as his name states. He then clears his throat.

“Forgive my shouting, but I think it is necessary in a new world for someone to be loud and bold, and use cunning wit to get our agenda through. This liberal agenda has gone too far. We have lost territory in Equestria and we were almost indecisive with the Tower of Heaven incident. We need to reassert ourselves in this world. When I become Chancellor, I will propose new agriculture and economic reform policies to increase our economic output and industrial capacity in other sectors of Cartoonia. On another point, our companies can push forward if the government just get out of the way. I will push for deregulation of our economy, and for more free trade with other nations. Ciel, as Attorney General, my right hand man, do you have anything to remark?”

“I do. I was a victim of child trafficking when I was little. It still haunts me to this very day. I want to make sure no child goes through that. I believe that the National police force needs to be strengthened to combat child trafficking at home and across the empire. Our foster care system needs to be strengthened to help children recover from trauma and provide a safe and happy environment. These two policies will make child trafficking a thing of the past. What about world wide though? I believe expanding our military and territories of our empire will help this cause. America might get in our way though. They have gotten so egotistical in world politics, I feel that America must be punished for interfering with our politics. That is all”.

“Thank you. Cartoonia is on the verge of collapse of liberal ideas enter her. God knows what will happen if the world succumb to this. Conservative values must stay relevant in the minds of Cartoonians everywhere. Cartoonia will be the light of the world. Long live Cartoonian values! Long Live our Supreme Leader! CARTOONS ABOVE ALL FOREVER!”.

The crowd cheers for his cause as the band plays Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1

---

OOC: and all of the candidates are announced. Stay tuned for the national debate, and political campaigns. Elections will take place on September 8.

[Cartoonia]

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Chet Ubetcha with Channel Six news reminding you good citizens that this week will be the start of the national debate. Where your most burning political questions will be heard. The other national broadcasting networks and I will be taking down some of the most frequent political debates of the day and will be asking our candidates for the 2019 Chancellor primaries. We have a great line up of candidates in store this year. For those who are just finding out about the election, here is a recap".

"Nigel Uno & Conan Edogawa are candidates for the Cartoon National Kid Party, Chad Dickson & Nelson Muntz are the Cartoon Social Teen Party, Eric Cartman & Mandy Darling are for the Imperial Party of Cartoonia, Tamaki Suoh & Rudyard Curtis are for the Anime-Cartoon Liberty Party, Papa Smurf & Brainy Smurf are the Communist Labor Party of Cartoonia, Pearl & Millianna are the Radical Anti-Slavery Party, which is the incumbent party, Jellal Fernandes & Kyoya Ottori are the Cartoon Party of The Royal Crusades, Steven Universe & Garnet are the The Crystal Gem Freedom Party, Avdocha Kiltzkaya & Anya Kiltzkaya are the The Cartoon Eco-Revolutionist Party, Wendy Testaburger & Fanny Fulbright are for the The Jonestown Liberal Party, and Loud Kiddington & Ciel Phantomhive are candidates for The Grand Old Cartoon".

"Each candidate will be given questions and will answer them, and perhaps debate these issues so that our citizens will have a good idea on who to vote for".

"We have many parties up, imperial, conservative, liberal, and anarchist. These and the many issues surrounding Cartoonia like imperialism, Pan-International relations, gun laws, The Metoo movement, and global warming, are to make this debate interesting. Sta tuned for more on these debates, for Channel Six news, I am Chet Ubetcha

[Cartoonia]

Transcript of the National Debate

5:00 PM, Cartoon National Broadcasting Company Studios

Tom Tucker: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I’m Tom Tucker

Kent Brockman: And this is Kent Brockman for the National Broadcast Server

Tom: And tonight is the night where men and women die and dreams are crushed

Kent: Or if you’re conservative, just a normal Friday.

Tom: That’s right Kent, tonight is the National Debate where our future leaders discuss and debate political topics that will ensure their victory in the upcoming election. This will be one hell of a race won’t it Kent.

Kent: it certainly will be Tom, the candidates range from conservative to liberal, imperial to isolationist, and capitalist to communist. The many parties are going to have to fight hard to get their voices heard in government and in the debate tonight, I guess you can say the party never ends doesn’t it?

Tom: it definitely doesn’t Kent, we now go live with our correspondents and moderators, Izuku Midoriya and Haruhi Fujioka, for coverage of the event. Izuku…

---

5:03 PM, National Convention Center, Cartoonia.
Izuku: Hey! Thanks Tom, and welcome all. My name is Izuku Midoriya.

Haruhi: And I’m Haruhi Fujioka.

Izuku: And as our newsroom correspondent Tom Tucker said, we are here for the National Debate going on today. And such excitement fills the halls of this convention center today where the party candidates try to woo the various voters over onto their side and win the top four spots for the secondary elections coming in late December.

Haruhi: Each of the candidates will debate on the most pressing issues of the day while defending their party ideology. With many issues like the Metoo movement, gun violence, environmental problems, our imperial endeavors, and the increasing dictators and warlords around the world, these candidates will have to bring their A game.

Izuku: Joining us today are who else but the Supreme Leader Jimmy Kudo, his brother Sho, and the current Chancellor Erza Scarlet, who will be taking notes of the candidates platform and ideology. Remember ladies and gentlemen, they have the final word on who can be Chancellor.

Haruhi: Let me explain. The people elect the Chancellor, but only our Supreme Leader can confirm either he or she will actually do their job, that’s where the ceremony takes place a day before the inauguration day.

Izuku: Now without further ado, please welcome our candidates. Nigel and Conan for the CNK, Chad and Nelson for the CST, Cartman and Mandy for the IPC, Papa Smurf and Brainy Smurf for the CCLP, Tamaki Suoh and Rudyard Curtis for the ACLP, Pearl and Millianna for the RASP, Jellal and Kyoya for the CPRC, Steven and Garnet for the CGFP, Avdocha and Anya Kiltzkaya for the ERP, Wendy and Fanny for the JLP, and finally Loud and Ciel for the GOCP. Quite a cast of characters today, huh Haruhi.

Haruhi: it sure is Izuku. Current candidates, it’s great to have all of you here today. We will begin the debate with our first question to the running chancellors.

Izuku: What makes Cartoonia great, and what would you change? Nigel, if you can start.

Nigel: The kids of Cartoonia and our military guarding the world is what makes this country great. If we are to be on top, we have to expand our military to safeguard the freedom and safety of the kids of the world.

Chad: Our Imperial might is what makes our country great, as well as our free speech. There are many people who want to take away our freedom of speech and politically correct everything. The SJW menace has ruined everything, and it must be up to the Cartoon government to safeguard from the Social tyrants.

Cartman: I must agree with my opponent here. But I want to take things further. Being aggressive with our neighbors, as well as expansion of our empire is in order. Other nations must respect our authoritah.

Papa Smurf: There is nothing great about the modern age of Cartoonia. The only way it become great is by the many workers of Cartoonia uniting to seize the means of production.

Pearl: Our sense of Freedom is what makes this country great. We have stern foreign policies on anti-slavery, where if we find out a country has slaves, we will use diplomacy and military action to combat this human rights abomination. As great as it is, the environment has taken a toll. I would propose environmental incentives to ensure we are eco friendly while being superior in industry and military.

Tamaki: Our strong economy is what makes this country great, and furthermore our friendliness with other countries have made us a diplomatic powerhouse. Our government has been interfering in businesses, and that restricts our businesses to expand further. I want to incite a laissez-faire government to boost our economy further.

Jellal: Cartoonia’s military record is the best, and our unofficial state religion is wise, as well as our freedom to religion. However, our foreign policies are not enough to solve the crisis in the Middle East. On top of that, there isn’t enough we are doing for the children whose rights are being violated everyday. We must change Foreign policies to reflect on our good nature, our virtues given to us by God.

Steven: Cartoonia is strong in military for sure, but the civil minority is being silenced in Cartoon House while the majority is making all of the rules. Furthermore, our Supreme Leader, though merciful in his rule, has maybe a little too much power. He should probably step down from his power and give it to the people instead.

Avdocha: There is nothing great about a modern power like this country. No one is gaining anything from the polluted, mechanic, and industrial system and society. The great goddess is not pleased, so what I will do is get rid of the industrial influence and overthrow the regime.

Wendy: Cartoonia won’t be great until this male, conservative, patriarchy is shutdown. The era of the matriarchal, minority, ruled people must come. The old regime will topple.

Loud: Cartoonia is the greatest country in the world, but there can be some alterations as we see it. Our agricultural industry needs help in surviving the modern world. Our government must provide funds to our farmers and reinstate agricultural programs to ensure the farmers are secure for whatever comes.

Izuku: Great! All of our candidates have determined their agenda, whether or not these policies might ruin our country, we will wait and see.

Haruhi: We will be asking both the chancellor candidates and the Attorney General candidates for whatever pops up from the viewers at home and abroad.

Izuku: People concerned or have questions for these candidates can file a question or debate topic via the Foreign office. You can also telegram us live at our studio.

Haruhi: We’ll be back after the break. This is the 2019 Chancellor National Debate.

[Cartoonia]

Haruhi: Welcome back to the debate. We have plenty of questions to ask our candidates, so lets get underway.

Izuku: One of the biggest concerns in the entertainment industry is the #Metoo movement. Thousands of female actresses, workers, and fans have claimed sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape claims on males. It has infected most big name people, including Cartoonia’s favorite American, Vic Migogna, English voice of great Japanese anime exported from Cartoonia. Ouran HighSchool Host Club and FMA ring a bell? It doesn’t help that both sides have vague evidence. So, the question up for debate is…

“What are you going to do about the current #Metoo crisis”

Haruhi: If anyone would like to start...

Nigel: I would. I want to address that this movement is not without good intentions. Raising awareness for women is a good thing. The KND Corps has always been at the forefront of women’s rights in the workplace, or the battlefield so to say. In fact, Cartoonia’s workplace was progressive for her time back in the middle of the Twentieth Century. But there is a certain degree where this has gone too far, and agree with that. Therefore, my proposition is to take all cases of rape and harassment and take it to court, the justice system is fair.

Chad: I’m sorry, but how can we be sure that a judge won’t go for any emotions they may have for the so called victims. They might side with them.

Nigel: Then we will have an honor system for the judicial system.

Chad: But that is not enough. People, this movement all started because of the cursed Social Justice Warrior. To combat this situation, I propose we crackdown on them at home and across our empire.

Jellal: But that would crackdown on people’s freedom of speech, that’s just apart of people’s unrestricted freedom.

Chad: A little government surveillance wouldn’t hurt, it works in America.

Loud: But their current situation is appalling. If it were up to me, I would reform the education system so that would require citizens to take a class on chivalry, politeness, and all around being a good human being.

Wendy: You are all getting the picture wrong. It’s not the fault of Metoo and SJWs, it’s the fault of men for not admitting they are wrong.

Chad: But we’re not wrong, you can’t admit it.

Wendy: Shut it you disgusting, perverted, man. We don’t have to listen to you. If I were chancellor, I will sentence any male accused of rape, assault, or harresment, to death.

Jellal: Isn’t that a bit too extreme, I mean the next execution won’t be until next year, and a couple more prisoners are on death row. I propose, in my opinion, mental health check ups when these situations come around. We can be sure if the so called victim is actually sane to make such a claim.

Kyoya: On a further note, I agree with my running mate, but to make sure these sane people are not lying. I propose running tests on these women to prove that they were raped. Why stop with health? With maximum surveillance in the workplace, there can be proof of assault or harassment. I would help propose that surveillance cameras be mandatory in all work environments.

Pearl: But that would lead to national surveillance, that is infringing on privacy. That whole thing could end up like 1812!

Kyoya: I think you mean 1984, but that never became real now did it?

Pearl: People, do you want an Orwellian dictatorship? Or will you trust your claim with someone who understands the people, their needs and wants. Someone to put both stories to the test. I will subsidize any company who has a clean record of this.

Izuku: But how would you enforce it?

Pearl: Honor system

Chad: I stated already that it’s not enough. I still stand by my statement

Jellal: As do I, and my running mate.

Loud: And mine.

[Cartoonia]

Izuku: That’s enough of that topic, let’s go on to the next.

Haruhi: Recent concerns for the environment has been brought up this year. They say are world is on fire as global warming is taking its toll. Many countries have already agreed on the Paris Climate Agreement, and Cartoonia is proud to be a member of it by the way, but President Trump has dropped out of it. So the big question is…

What will you push for against global warming

Avdocha: Let me say a few words!

Izuku: Ok, Ms. Kiltzkaya, you may take the floor.

Avdocha: My friends, I’m afraid I must confess to the great goddess, for I have sinned. I am in a place of indecency to her. These modern appliances are connected to the evil power stations that pollute our environment.

Loud: That’s mostly not true. We have other sources of power besides coal and oil. Wind, solar, waves, geothermal, heck! Our nuclear power plants are producing ten times the electricity rates than others.

Avdocha: But even then, the factories produce the devil’s toys you call goods and as a result, our lakes are polluted-

Nigel: Actually, we dispose of industrial waste in man made facilities that process that.

Avdocha: My point is that if we don’t do something, the Great goddess will punish us. I say we demodernize our country. We need to return to our roots of nature and beauty.

Chad: But you cannot simply take the modern out of a modernized nation, think of all the consequences of that. Many nations of the world depend on the Cartoon economy to work, including the United States. If we were to fall, America would fall, and if America were to fall, then it would be 1929 all over again.

Avdocha: Since you mentioned that, since other nations look up to us, they will follow suit to demodernize and then our world will be reborn, as the Great goddess gives us her blessing.

Jellal: But I don’t believe in this Great goddess, I believe in one God, for he is the true God.

Avdocha: You’ll be sent to Hell for that blasphemous statement.

Jellal: But if you preach that, there won’t be any religious tolerance at all. This isn’t even about religion. This is about our current environmental problems.

Avdocha: You started it by saying that you don’t believe in the one true Great goddess.

Loud: But you brought it up.

Avdocha: Like you can do any better.

Loud: I can, my agricultural incentives will promote both food productivity and environmental security. The crops grown will be used to convert corn into gas for cars, trucks, trains, ships, and planes. Our researchers will then create cleaner cars and oil converters, carbon dioxide sucking machines, and self-sufficient factories to increase our economic output, creating more jobs in the agriculture, transportation, and development sectors while cutting back on carbon emissions.


Pearl: But that is just theory. We can’t prove that this can work. I propose we raise the penalties of littering and polluting, make only owning electric cars mandatory, and research waste usage to clean up our footprint in the environment.

Nigel: Not everyone can afford electric cars, I propose opening of more national parks and sustainable farm programs, and I also propose that we fund scientists to research self-sufficient buildings so we can go green while maintaining our city lifestyle. Earth and man can live together. Also, I plan to have more trees planted at home and abroad our empire.

Avdocha: None of these things will please the Great goddess.

Nigel: If there is one, she would be happy at the effort anyway.

[Cartoonia]

Haruhi: That’s all the time on that topic. We have another issue at the stand.

Izuku: One thing Cartoonia is known for is three things… Empire, Imperialism, and Territorial Expansion,

Ciel: Aren’t those the same thing?

Izuku: It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Cartoonia is the remaining imperial power of the modern world. Great Britain doesn’t count because they are a commonwealth, and other so called empires have changed to a commonwealth. Last year, we lost our Equestrian Territories in an indecisive ruling, and recently because of the Vic Mignogna incident, there are talks of expanding Cartoon influence over Texas. Which begs the question...

What is the state of the Cartoon Empire

Cartman: If you don’t mind, but I would like to say a few words.

Haruhi: Mr. Cartman, you have the floor.

Cartman: Thank you. Ladies and Gentlemen, to quote a famous emperor “In spite of the fact that we have no such fleet as we should have, we have conquered for ourselves a place in the sun. It will now be my task to see to it that this place in the sun shall remain our undisputed possession, in order that the sun's rays may fall fruitfully upon our activity and trade in foreign parts, that our industry and agriculture may develop within the state and our sailing sports upon the water, for our future lies upon the water”. These were the words of the greatest emperor of Germany, the most gallant, most honorable one there was.

Wendy: LOOK AT HIM! HE’S QUOTING NAZISM!

Haruhi: Ms. Testaburger. I don’t think he is finished.

Izuku: Were you going to say something?

Cartman: Yes. That person was Kaiser Weilhelm of the German Empire. An empire that would have grown as strong as the British and Spanish empires. But he was stopped by these democratic, republican nations that caused the far right to rise. Our empire is in danger of falling by the hands of our neighbors. I say we get aggressive and go whatever the Hell we please.

Chad: But then the whole world will turn against us.

Cartman: A small price to pay for progress.

Chad: I too believe in empire and militarism, but the key to both of them is diplomacy. Expansion of our empire through trade and negotiation while expressing dominance over unprotected and unsupervised nations. World policing will be our priority.

Jellal: I agree on that matter, but I say we take it further. Diplomacy works, but we have to make sure that the other nations know our intentions. The spread of our ideology is needed to get what we so please. Our imperial democracy is the beacon of all others.

Steven: Imperialism is a menace to society and must end.

Loud: Why?

Steven: exploiting resources is one, oppression of the natives is another.

Jellal: But we are benevolent in our rule.

Wendy: It doesn’t matter, it’s evil.

Jellal: But it’s a necessary evil. Think about North Korea. They still would exist and ruin us. We should still be imperialistic in our policies, but only when other nations and lands are threats to our way of life. Diplomacy and anti-aggression are our way of protecting this world for the horrors of socialist regimes.

Cartman: I still think we should be a little more aggressive. These people should respect our authoritah.

Wendy: But it never really gives back to the people of-

Cartman: Boo. Boo Wendy Testaburger boo.

[Cartoonia]

Izuku: That’s enough for that issue Mr. Cartman.

Haruhi: Speaking of our military. We are one of the top countries with the largest militaries in the entire word. With over 2,000,000 military personnel in our ranks. With our possessions around the world and various military bases active outside of our borders, we are prepared to take up the task of defending our nation and empire. The next fiscal year is coming and 18.2% of our government spending is focused on defense, the most spent. This asks the question

Should we keep or raise the military budget?

Izuku: Anyone in opposition first of all?

Steven: I am.

Nigel: Is there a reason Mr. Steven?

Steven: We have seen many wars in our lifetimes, it’s just to vile and evil

Jellal: I’ve made this statement over and over again, it is a necessary evil to ensure no one is ever oppressed.

Steven: But at what cost, I was a soldier in the Crystal Legion, and I’ve seen the horrors of war on tour in the Middle East, in Indonesia, and just recently at the Tower of Heaven.

Jellal: First of all, that was a joint operation with American and UN forces to combat Al-qeida. Second, that wasn’t a war you’re mentioning, that was not a war, that was a clean up operation. And third, please remember my previous statement.

Garnet: But that is no excuse as to why we need this much spending on our military.

Chad: We have to stand strong against aggression

Cartman: Or be the face of aggression.

Steven: No. What needs to happen is that we cut our military budget and spend it on other vital issues, defense of minorities, Health, education, the environment, lots of other things.

Loud: That’s all fine and good… except for the fact that if I were dictator of a foreign country and saw all this improvement… I’d go and declare war and invade, and with our budget cutting off military, we are vulnerable to these attacks, and then we will have nothing.

Garnet: I would like to see you try better.

Loud: Honestly, it’s fine as it is, but we can use our scientists to research new weapons of war to keep our side from having anymore casualties.

Chad: I wanted to implement a mandatory conscription law for all persons exiting high school.

Cartman: I would increase our military industrial complex to build the necessary weapons of war.

Steven: But war kills.

Nigel: And ignorance, poverty, and slavery kills more.

Jellal: Take it from me, a former child slave, to agree for our military to be strong and ready to combat any future threats of our freedoms.

Nigel: I agree

Chad: Here here!

Loud: Yes!

[Cartoonia]

Haruhi: Let’s keep on rolling, we are almost out of time here.

Izuku: In the recent months, gun violence and mass shootings grew at an alarming rate around the world, in America alone, there have been more mass shootings than in previous decades. Politicians over there have urged for more gun control, now we must answer the call before it reaches our shores.

How are we to regulate the people’s right to own a gun while decreasing gun violence?

Wendy: ban guns. Guns are horrific, murder weapons created by men that should be banned.

Loud: To quote someone, “guns don’t kill, men kill”.

Wendy: But these men have able access to guns. Ban them.

Loud: But banning guns won’t solve anything, they are going to find more ways to kill.

Chad: He is right. I suggest the most intense background checks before hand. We will have background knowledge from previous criminal records, but we can go further. Internet checks. We can go see whatever they posted, if they post something hateful or violent, maybe a threat. We can just detain the person and withhold his right to bear arms.

Nigel: But we have our right to bear arms.

Chad: I know we do, but if it has to come down to this, we have to start new protocols.

Tamaki: I think I have a better idea. How about we just create a licensing for owning guns. This will delay any crazy gunman who wants a gun and might turn them off from ever owning one.

Wendy: NO! BAN THE [Censored for International Broadcast] GUNS NOW! THEY DON’T [Censored] DESERVE IT!

Izuku: Okay, okay! We should move onto a different topic.

Haruhi: From our beginnings of nationhood, and even back when we were actually founded. Our relation with our mother country, The United States of America, have been stable and glorious. From our independence and conquest of Southern California, to military excursions, to many different treaties and organizations, to enshrining some great Americans. But ever since President Trump took office, things have been rocky.

Is America still our greatest ally?

Nigel: America today may be unorthodox now, but I believe in a firm relationship with our former colonizer. We are on par in power with America. Strengthening our ties is the way to go towards the future.

Jellal: I would like to remind everyone that Cartoonia does plan to purchase the state of Texas in the next couple of years or so. I think strong relations would help Texas cede to us.

Loud: America is just spiraling downhill. It will be our duty to pickup the ashes when they fall.

Tamaki: I want to help America spring back. Our economic trade relations and military cooperation are key.

Wendy: NO! [Censored] AMERICA AND THEIR [Censored]-[Censored] PRESIDENT TRYING TO RUIN THE LIVES OF WOMAN AND OTHER MINORITES. THEY DONT DESERVE TO CONTINUE ON INTO THE NEXT CENTURY. THE CAN JUST ALL GO-

Loud: I thought we were all suppose to be civil

Cartman: What do you expect from a liberal head.

Wendy: OH YEAH. WHY DON’T YOU-

Cartman: Boo Wendy Testaburger, boo

Wendy: AAAARRRRGGGHHHH

[Cartoonia]

This is a reminder that the primary election ends next week. Please vote with your head and your concious. Send in any last minute endorsements and support letters.

-The National Election Commitee

[Cartoonia]

Haruhi: Wendy. Please calm down. This is a debate, not a brawl.

Izuku: Geez. I think we should start wrapping up here. Two more questions before we finish. Education is the pinnacle of the modern society. Without it, most will end up like…

Cartman: Wendy?

Wendy: HEY!

Izuku: That’s not the point. We stand by that education is important. But most Cartoonians don’t even get into college. So…

How can we improve our education system without dropping the national budget?

Nigel: I believe that the people should invest in their children’s future. People, corporations, and foreign companies should give a bit of their profits or salary to the local school funds.

Chad: My belief is that the government should be spending more on children so they may enter the civil service.

Nigel: You know very well that the government spends more on the military. The current rate is not enough, and I suppose you don’t want to decrease military spending.

Chad: Then downsize on other non essential spending. I'm sure the church can take a hit from government spending.

Jellal: Now hold on. I may be able to offer a solution that doesn’t require the budget to be cut. I suggest we have local school districts set the tax rate for the residents.

Pearl: Explain.

Jellal: the school districts are operated by the local city governments correct?

Pearl: That’s right

Jellal: Since they are operated like that, they can suggest the politicians in city hall to raise funds for education. This will boost our education funding without the interference of the federal government.

Loud: That sounds fine, although, My idea might be better. Just nationalize the colleges, make them cheaper since no foundation owns them and the nation can fund them as they please. Just raise the national income tax to earn more so we can spend more.

Pearl: I propose since it is an option, just give all students two years of college for free. Most community colleges in the United States are already doing it. If the student does not like college, they can just simply dropout without owing money.

Wendy: AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.

Jellal: Uh… what about it?

Wendy: That is how we send more minorities and women to college, prioritize women and minorities.

Loud: But what about the poor, they may make up a small portion of the population, but with that mindset, they won’t be able to go to school.

Wendy: their father’s fault for being an asshole.

[Cartoonia]

Izuku: Alright! Last question of the debate. We shall see what everyone has to say.

Haruhi: Our current diplomatic policies are open and friendly with other nations from The AHSCA, New Lindale, Kuronami, Danceria, and The Alpes a Septentrionali imperium, we have welcomed their ambassadors, people, and culture. We belong to such great organizations like the UN, the WA, the GD, NATO, and the WTO. Going forward, we don’t want to get in a mess of foreign entanglements. So here is the final debate.

Should we continue open foreign affairs, or should we go into isolation?

Nigel: World relations is a pivotal player in modern society. Nations support other nations in more ways than one.

Chad: I would agree. Think about it. Out military agreements, trade, tourism, research, it’s all apart of our ongoing togetherness between nations.

Jellal: Don’t forget that next year the olympics will be held, I say it is a true testament of international peace and prosperity.

Tamaki: That wouldn’t be possible if we had isolated ourselves. I say we continue on with our diplomatic relations.

Loud: Cartoonia should expand her relations further.

Jellal: Send more ambassadors, diplomats, and representatives to represent our interests and to work together with other nations.

Cartman: No. They are just barriers that we must overcome. We shall conquer them like the little bugs they are.

Papa Smurf: No more influence from foreigners.

Avdocha: I agree, those who wish for industrialization from us are damned to hell. We should work with nations who are environmentally friendly and puts nature above all else.

Wendy: Only matriarchal nations.

Izuku: Okay we have time for at least two more.

Haruhi: But let's cut to the chase. We are economically strong and independent. We boast the top industrial sector and large trade revenues, and that is including tourism. That isn’t to say that there are not always going to be smooth. For example, we barely got out of the global recession of 2008. And with changing times…

How can we improve economically?

Papa Smurf: We need to seize the means of production and Nationalize the industries. No more capitalism.

Nigel: Not this BS on communism. Like that worked well for the Soviet Union.

Papa Smurf: But that is the only way.

Chad: How about we give some government funding to the poor. Social welfare works when the government is involved.

Wendy: How can we be sure that the father won’t spend it all on liquor?

Jellal: First off, it won’t be just the father, the mother gets abusive too.

Chad: You’re missing the point. If the government gives more money, people will spend more, bring more money to the companies and in turn more money for us.

Tamaki: I believe that we should help the poor, but where is our money going to come from? From taxes and foreign trade. I believe that trading with other powers and nations is the key to boosting our economy.

Cartman: But that is money wasted that could be used on the military.

Nigel: The military gets alot of funds anyway.

Loud: What we need to do is to boost industrial production and award those who meet their quotas and beyond.

Avdocha: But industries hurt our planet and the Great goddess.

Loud: But without them, we would go for broke and some rich foreign power could take advantage. Industry is the way to go for that green.