“I am this close to hitting a new decade of my life, this close to being 70 years old... Yet still, the pain of losing her just burrows further deep into my heart, the more I realize my own mortality. I'm not supposed to be doing things like this and one could say I should've moved by now. I'm not sure even why I'm here, considering I was the last person to have been thought of as the suitable candidate by now... I'm old news, washed out, supposed to be gone now. Yet, somehow, I'm still here... Because this matters to me, because it matters to me that she won't be forgotten. I don't know if this will go somewhere the way the channel wants it, or if I'm just playing a fool's game. However, I have a job to do now... So here we are.” - Leonarda Skoric
She was the least expected winner of Izmepisma to anyone following Izmepisma or even the Izmeduan music industry at large.
Leonarda Skoric was everything associated with an entry that would be rendered divisive to what Izmeduans expected for the entry that marked Izmedu's 40th anniversary in the contest. She knew this going into Angradka and she knew that her shock win was going to receive extreme reactions from opposite ends of the spectrum. She was either destined to be forgotten at the bottom on the scoreboard (which, in Leonarda's darkest moments, she fully expected to be the first Izmeduan to descend the country into last place), or this was something that Izmeduans can be proud of regardless of the result. Either way, Leonarda knew that she wasn't the 'one' entry so to speak, that would've went onto the record books without a hitch. However, that wasn't to be, so she only only gripped a close friend's hand tight as the Greater Korean Juche Republic's entry played throughout the Četovskiy Stadion. Her time to perform was imminent. She had only one person in mind as she would go through the lyrics in her head and warmed up her vocals.
The reasons for Leonarda being such a controversial figure largely stems from her on and off again nature of her music career as well as the familial legacy that she bore going into the contest. Leonarda is the oldest child of the still-living Skoric family, a musical family that was akin to a 'dynasty' in the Izmeduan music industry. The Skorics were a musical family largely dominated by two figures, Leonarda herself, and her sister, Marija. Both together were at the forefront of the very earliest forms of post-revolution Izmeduan pop. They continued on the work established by their forebearers, with Marija Skoric primarily leading the way in helping establish not just the female-driven pop ballad form that is almost ubiquitous in the Izmeduan music industry now, but also establishing a space for Izmeduan language music to thrive beyond the traditional bond. For better or for worse, both Leonarda and Marija pioneered the intense emotional style of ballad that tends to find its home in Izmeduan World Hit Festival entries. Marija herself, especially, became one the post-revolution pioneer for VodiFest. She became such a prominent contender to the point where even an award is named after her honor.
Leonarda existed within the shadow of her sister, a role that she was too willing to play considering the struggles that both her and Marija faced while living their adolescent lives in the revolution. For as far as she knew, Leonarda and Marija both grew up as orphans, witnessing and seeing many of their immediate family either get drafted or killed in the razes and ravages that their hometown (Vodiznad) would often go through. This unstable background was what sparked them into going into music in the first place, finding only each other as a mutual relief. Leonarda, for most of her career, spent much of it performing mostly rock-oriented, 'quirkier' styles of music in comparison to the more emotional and ballad style of her sister, Marija. However, both often collaborated behind the scenes and consulted each other regularly. Leonarda's insistence on privacy meant that Marija's increased fame came almost as a relief. They had the grounds and the foundation for an easy existence and comfortable life in the Izmeduan music industry.
That is, until the sudden death of Marija Skoric herself. The death of such a beloved figure, only 10 years after the revolution, not only was a shock to the nation. It was also a loss that Leonarda herself could barely process and even acknowledge. Marija was her only immediate family following the the bloody revolution, the only real companion that she had in the music industry, and the only person to which she felt comfortable sharing not just her music, but also her vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fears with. The sudden passing of Marija caused Leonarda to isolate herself from not just the Izmeduan music industry, but from even people in general. The grief was too much for her to handle in such a short space of time. She couldn't bear the sudden increase in public attention, nor did she want or even have the strength to handle the endless inquiries about her sister. She knew that it was a bad move and look to appear so private when she was the only living source for so much of Marija Skoric's fans, yet... all she wanted to was keep her memory in peace, and be left alone.
The years following Marija's sudden death were tough. Leonarda, now on her own, with not much of a fanbase, or even a musical identity outside of being a contrast to her sister, was still struggling to come to terms with the grief she felt. The days of attempting to write songs, produce music, or come up with any sort of composition proved fruitless in the next few years. She felt that weight of loss bearing down on her without any sort of recourse and no way to release that grief. All she could do was just sit there and bide her time at the interim, feeling as if she was quite literally wasting her time. It was not until she re-established contact with a few people that Marija knew, mainly the management she trusted the most, was where Leonarda began to take the first steps of coming to real terms about her changed existence. There was more than just the grief of losing someone she knew.
There was a fear of standing on her own. A fear of putting herself out there again being derided as the lesser. A fear of not being able to make it without someone standing by her side.
Even despite the fact that she still carried her unique visual brand; electric blue hair and a booming vocal style with rasp and raw grit, she still felt a hopeless sense of anonymity that kept eating at her. She would occasionally release music, but the only thing she kept returning back to was... her sister. When she was finally able to write songs once more, Leonarda found that her grief was the first thing she kept expressing. In consultation with a few people that she trusted, Leonarda kept pushing on towards that kind of feeling. She kept writing down as many lyrics as she could until she felt satisfied that it was a completed product. That raw song ended up being the very basis of what she would win Izmepisma with, “La kanaisa.” A song that melded and acknowledged her past musicianship, while forging a new emotional direction and beginning.
It was never meant to be a concerted campaign to win Izmepisma. It was an emotional purge, a long-held release of everything she held in.
That was what she brought to Angradka. She didn't know if this marked a new beginning for her music or if this was a one-time deal. However, the feeling of having to let this out was stronger than ever. She took a deep breath, walking out onto the stage...
Stage lights billowed down to the center of the Četovskiy Stadion at the advent of the Izmeduan entry. Leonarda was standing near the front of the stage, at the border of the stairs that led to the connected satellite stage that jutted out to the edition. She took a deep breath as she felt the cheer of the Polkopian crowd, feeling her vision blur slightly even within the darkness. She closed her eyes as she waited for her cue, and as soon as she heard the music... Leonarda could feel herself relax. Just in time, the music would began to play on the broadcast and the entry would now begin in earnest. It began with a guitar-driven rhythm, a solemn melody playing across the melody. The camera would engage in wide shots from the audience and from the above, allowing viewers at home to see the sparse white lights flashing about. Before long, the viewers at home were treated to a view of Leonarda looking down with her eyes closed, looking as if in prayer as there was a haunting ray of white light emanating from behind her. At the end of the intro, the camera would approach her and her eyes would happen with precise timing. She would begin to sing...
Izgledam ove sine
Zaboravljeno sićanje
To sam postinuo I sam oštetio
Udara maje cre
Mui je još uvik racuadam
El dan murt došao za vas
Ah, još uvik ardi
Još uvik ardi, sviža rana
She caught the camera in its gaze with her look, locking it in place as she quickly sang the first verse. Her voice was husky, laced with pain, a burgeoning frief, but remaining low. The instrumentation remained soft as she sang these lines almost rapidly but deliberately, occasionally emphasizing a syllable or two especially around the middle of the verse. She would reach with one arm at the fourth line of the verse, with eagle-eyed viewers home noting that free arm and even Leonarda herself were trembling slightly. That same camera view kept lingering on her throughout the verse, almost unnaturally and uncomfortably so. At the latter half of the verse, her face would become more pained, her eyes gazing even more intensely at the camera. She would then slowly put her free hand on her chest, timed specifically for the quick ending of the verse.
Žalost je infiarno
Žalost je infiarno, da
To je damna na maj života
Maja slomljena jamna
Gdi si jama sestra?
Gdi si jama sestra? Gdi?
Bez tebe sam sanglo-u svitu
Maja slomjena jamna
For the hook, the instrumentation would begin just a little bit more. Now, a drum beat was added to the proceedings as Leonarda would slow down her delivery. Instead of rushing through the words in an almost quick succession, each syllable sounded almost deliberate and warm. Her voice would turn towards that more softer yet richer tone, yet still carried with it that pain. She would occasionally produce that deliberate vocal technique of letting her voice crack deliberately, letting it sound reedy with emotion (especially done to effect for that sixth line, where she would sing Gde si jama sestra). The camera kept lingering at her with that same view, a further undercurrent of grief becoming even more apparent on her expression. Her face would shake even more visibly as the camera kept closing in Her voice hastened for the final two lines. However, as soon as that final line hit, the Polkopian arena would go dark for just one second, just in time for the chorus...
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
Izvan ruku murti
Ju ću živiti
Neću te zaboraviti
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
For the chorus, Leonarda gave it her all in delivering those first two lines (serving as the very leitmotif of the song itself). She belted out this entire chorus, not for once refusing to relent or even temper her passion. Her face strained, her voice deliberately growled and cracked, and she held her arms out to steady her entire body as she gave it everything she could. Even if may have been only the first chorus, she wanted to make sure that she was leaving everything on the table and on the stage. The camera would switch between various views, emphasizing both close and wide shots to capture both Leonarda's expressions and the stage itself. The instrumentation itself soared and increased in volume and production. There was a newfound urgency to the production, guitar plucks driven by mid-tempo drums and a heightened sound. The stage was lit up in a brilliant white, white outlines coating the oultine of the 'shell' that would serve as the framework of the stage. At opportune moments, Leonarda can be seen cupping her hand into a fist to steady herself as she let her voice soar to its highest and most powerful notes. The chorus was urgent, almost quick, and just as soon as it came, the song had to soften... As soon as Leonarda sang the last line of this chorus, she can be seen taking a visible step back, with the lights and the instrumentation quickly softening into a near-quiet. The transition to the second verse was quick, with spotlights quickly shining on Leonarda once more.
Izgledam ove sine
I tvaja duha ukleta
Zaroblin je poli
Zaroblin je noti
Cona-nema kraja
Nosim ovaga piarda
Conom tugom, conom tadom
Conom strahom i pesum, ju stojim
That lower, more husky tone returned once more for this verse. The cameras would focus back on her, but this time, there were more changing and dynamic views that reflected the very nature of the lyrics. She quickly delivered these lines, but also slowed on a few others. However, Leonarda would not relent once more for a single second, bringing the same kind of energy that she did for the chorus but with a more subdued tint to it. Her expressions were now far more evident in this chorus, with the lyrical progression being far more open and these lyrics driving even closer to her emotions than the introductory verse. At a few points, one can even see the emotions getting to her for a few opportune lines, with the camera well-timed to zoom out of the stage to emphasize her relative isolation and the nigh-vast scale of the Polkopian stage. She ended this verse with the camera close to her, her eyes squinted and closed, her face looking down, and a hand on her chest. The way she sang now blurred the lines between emotion and a real outpouring of grief, with her gaze and eyes now no longer playing to an audience.
Žalost je infiarno
Žalost je infiarno, da
To je damna na maj života
Maja slomljena jamna
Gdi si jama sestra?
Gdi si jama sestra? Gdi?
Bez tebe sam sanglo-u svitu
Maja slomjena jamna
The way she delivered this hook was much more forceful and laden with emotion than the first. With the increased and more urgent productions, the lights in the arena would flash just a bit more intensely. This increased lighting provided an even more luminiscent, brighter, yet more mysterious framing on the action, with Leonarda's face occasionally being brightened and darkened all at once. Her voice, at some parts, was nearly overwhelmed with that emotion, with Leonarda having to pinch her vocals at some parts where she knew her voice would become deliberately breathless. She could now be seen making subtly more aggressive motions, constantly balling her hands into a fist, gazing into the camera with a much more harder, more grief-stricken expression than before. The lighting would pause its flashing right at the end of this hook, pausing as the instrumentation would pause at the last line, marking a very quick transition to the chorus.
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
Izvan ruku murti
Ju ću živiti
Neću te zaboraviti
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
Leonarda gave it her all once more for this chorus, if not even moreso. The line between performance and the outpouring of grief she kept hidden and locked away from public view had truly blurred here. That emotion she felt when writing this song was now truly resonant and apparent from every movement she made, every vocal tic she was deploying, and for each resonance of power she let out. Leonarda knew she might have been stretching her vocals to the very extent of where they can go, and she didn't know if it was going to sound pretty or even okay. However, she kept at it, holding her chest, letting that emotion be infused in each and every vocal as much as possible. The lights around her kept flashing a brilliant white, the camera would make sure that focus would be equally on her and the audience at large. Each angle would capture the emotion, her yearning for the very person she wrote this song to, and but not even just the grief... There was a strength in her pain. She looked up when she would sing this chorus, making sure to arc every movement upwards, and making the words stand as a promise, a vow, and a chant for both strength and pain. This was a promise she would not break, these words personified as she kept pouring her heart out, holding her arms out once more. As soon as the chorus ended, the lights around the arena would soften once more, the camera views fading.
Proći ću-el infiarno za tebe
Držat ću te životu
Držat ću te životu, da sestra
Proći ću-el infiarno za tebe
Držat ću te životu
Držat ću te životu
The camera view would fade into this hook with a shot of Leonarda walking towards the satellite stage. She would carefully step onto the stairs, taking her time with each step. However, these movements did not compromise or even pause the vocals. The paring down of the instrumentation made her vocals even more naked, a daring move as she would once more use this chorus to keep belting out the vocals. Her vocals refused to gentle or even lower down, staying at an intensity similar to the chorus. At some parts, one could even see her face straining from the pressure she was putting on herself, befitting the intense emotions she wanted to put out. At the last vestiges of the hook, she was now situated at the statellite stage. For that final line... she belted it out as long and loud as she could, holding her chest as the cameras would focus on that note and that delivery before fading once more...
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
Izvan ruku murti
Ju ću živiti
Neću te zaboraviti
Destrum la kanaisa
Destrum la kanaisa
Nositi tvaju sićanju
Destrum la kanaisa
For the final chorus of the song, the camera would return back to see the arena lit up in a brilliant array of white lights. Close and wide views were once more the focus as Leonarda gave it her all in belting out each and every line of this. There was now a determination, a fire, blazing in her eyes versus the grief-stricken women that she was. She may have lost someone close to her, but now... she makes a stand to fulfill the promises she is making. The lights grow even brighter, her delivery grows even more passionate, and her vocals were going to go as far as they were going to go tonight. Her movements were forceful, her face laser focused on finding that camera and finding the audience, and her voice soared to its greatest extent. She kept pulling this kind of intensity throughout the chorus, the camera sweeping around her for its most dramatic shots as the song maintained its intensity. It was only at the end of the chorus where the song would now soften to its eventual conclusion. The entry itself would end the way it began.
It would end with that same camera view of Leonarda at the beginning, mid-way from the audience, and slowly zooming in. Her eyes were now open instead of closed, the light behind her now a much more brighter ray. Her demeanor still held an expression of loss, but she was beginning to heal, she was beginning to take the first step towards strength. The song would the end and the lights would darken...
Leonarda held a hand ot her mouth as the emotions overtook her for that moment. She couldn't believe what had just transpired, or processed that she had just performed on the WorldVision stage. A tear streamed from her eye as she tried her best to say her thank yous to the Polkopian the audience. There was a breathless one, understandable considering the strain she put on her voice just earlier and the way she was now choking up. It wasn't long til she had to be guided back on stage to prepare for the Besen's entry.
I did this for you, sis... Maybe we'll see each other again...