A Night to remember cut 2:Daedric Boogaloo (OPEN TO ALL)

[United Celtic Peoples]

Alice sighed and ran to hug Wurgent and Gwilherm standing outside, having a wine with some fairly dressed women.
"OHYGODMOHMYGODOHMYGODYOUDON'TKNOWHOWGLADIAMTOSEEYOUEEEEEEEE" Alice squealed. "I HAVE BEEN STUCK FOR HOURS WITH THESE TWO DRUNKS AND THEIR GALICIAN FRIEND! Oh, and this...eheh.. favourable soldier..." Alice blushed as he turned to Carlos.
"My oh my... This is TRULY a night to remember." Wurgent said.

"Well, wot the 'ell we goin' ta' do next." Tavish said before seeing a stall selling biotic parts. "Ay, Wurge, what would you say if we made the crippled Gallie into a cyborg warrior?" Tavish asked.

"I'd say no. One, we probably couldn't afford to do it, and two we don't know if it's even RELIABLE or REAL!" Wurgent stated.

On closer inspection the artifical body parts are mechanical in nature and the mechanical parts are Dwemer in origin. The stall's owner yells out to those passing by.

"Dwemer mechanical body part replacements, scavenged by yours truly from the depths of Nirn!"

"Hello, sir! I have a poor wounded soldier who was gravely, OH SO GRAVELY HURT BY ARTILERY FIGHTING IN A BRAVE BATTLE!" Sean emphasized, blinking in quick succession to produce fake tears.

"Er, amigo, first of all we were fighting bears because Tavish's grudge against the Empress of Higher Japan, and second and last I only got a scratch and a fracture on my leg. It's not th- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Carlos screamed in agony as Sean kicked his broken leg.

"He needs to have a pair of ROBOTIC LEGS, A CHESTPIECE, A GATLING GUN IN ONE ARM AND A LASERY EPIC BLADE IN THE OTHER! Oh, and also phaser vision, a rocket launcher in his crotch and a voicebox that is monotonus! THIS MAN IS IN NEEEEEED!" Sean continued to pitch.

[Higher Japan]

"Don't lie, we'll do the diagnostics" Caroline said as she sat at the stall next to them selling Yao Guai head wall decors. After some checking, she gave the shop owner a list. "He's fine, he just needs some help with that leg that Sean broke."

[Graag Brom]

On closer inspection the artifical body parts are mechanical in nature and the mechanical parts are Dwemer in origin. The stall's owner yells out to those passing by.

"Dwemer mechanical body part replacements, scavenged by yours truly from the depths of Nirn!"

"Hello, sir! I have a poor wounded soldier who was gravely, OH SO GRAVELY HURT BY ARTILERY FIGHTING IN A BRAVE BATTLE!" Sean emphasized, blinking in quick succession to produce fake tears.

"Er, amigo, first of all we were fighting bears because Tavish's grudge against the Empress of Higher Japan, and second and last I only got a scratch and a fracture on my leg. It's not th- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Carlos screamed in agony as Sean kicked his broken leg.

"He needs to have a pair of ROBOTIC LEGS, A CHESTPIECE, A GATLING GUN IN ONE ARM AND A LASERY EPIC BLADE IN THE OTHER! Oh, and also phaser vision, a rocket launcher in his crotch and a voicebox that is monotonus! THIS MAN IS IN NEEEEEED!" Sean continued to pitch.

"Err... what? OK you are annoying, get that man to a healer and if he get's his leg amputated then we can talk."

[United Celtic Peoples]

"Hello, sir! I have a poor wounded soldier who was gravely, OH SO GRAVELY HURT BY ARTILERY FIGHTING IN A BRAVE BATTLE!" Sean emphasized, blinking in quick succession to produce fake tears.

"Er, amigo, first of all we were fighting bears because Tavish's grudge against the Empress of Higher Japan, and second and last I only got a scratch and a fracture on my leg. It's not th- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Carlos screamed in agony as Sean kicked his broken leg.

"He needs to have a pair of ROBOTIC LEGS, A CHESTPIECE, A GATLING GUN IN ONE ARM AND A LASERY EPIC BLADE IN THE OTHER! Oh, and also phaser vision, a rocket launcher in his crotch and a voicebox that is monotonus! THIS MAN IS IN NEEEEEED!" Sean continued to pitch.

"Err... what? OK you are annoying, get that man to a healer and if he get's his leg amputated then we can talk."

"Amputated you say?" Sean said as he grabbed a claymore sword off a Celtic guard and prepared to cut off the soldier's legs. "Ya moight feel a little PRICK!"

"OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, VOSTEDE MONSTRO EMFERMO? SOMEONE STOP HIM, PLEASE!"

[Graag Brom]

"Err... what? OK you are annoying, get that man to a healer and if he get's his leg amputated then we can talk."

"Amputated you say?" Sean said as he grabbed a claymore sword off a Celtic guard and prepared to cut off the soldier's legs. "Ya moight feel a little PRICK!"

"OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, VOSTEDE MONSTRO EMFERMO? SOMEONE STOP HIM, PLEASE!"

The shopkeeper hits Sean in the head with a mace.

[Higher Japan]

Caroline muttered something as Sean was thrown down into a cage meant for Yao Guai. "Alright, i'll do you a favor. Diarama." She says as a green aura covered his leg, healing it fully.

[United Celtic Peoples]

"I'm staring to find it hard to believe we're going to survive any longer here." Alice said.
"What makes you think that?" Wurgent asked Alice.
"Well, Gwilherm has PTSD over his bagpipe set, Tavish is drinking our supplies down to a tin, Sean is were-puppy chow and Bradwr.... Where is Bradwr?"

"CYMRU AM BYTH!" Bradwr emerged from the bush, Naked and covered in honey with a giant broken eggshell being used to cover his private parts. "Sorry, lads! I Just had the time of me life. There was this flock of sheep, so I got naked and covered meself in honey so the sheep would lick meh, then a farmer with a weird lookin' stick popped up and there was this dragon who spat fire at me and accidentally boiled some funny liquid and I got drunk as hell of it so I went to her nest and I accidentally landed in one of her eggs and killed a baby and NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA DI-aahh..ah...oh yeah..." Bradwr began moaning.

"Oooh, I think a lamb found its way into me celery sti- wait a moment... THAT THING IS STILL ALIVE!?" Bradwr began screaming in horror, seeing the unborn dragon and dropping it, leaving it as a pile of pink goo.

"Oh my god, I think I'm going to be sick..." Wurgent said, with Alice projectile vomiting everywhere.
"I've seen worse from Brad" Tavish remarks whilst drinking.

[Higher Japan]

"God damn it, this is the fifth time this week and it's Friday. I better be getting paid overtime for this." Caroline said as she pulled out a crossbow as she covered the arrows with something. As she teleported over to a bush near the dragon, she shot a bolt into it. After a while, she teleported back. "Should be knocked out."

[Graag Brom]

"I'm staring to find it hard to believe we're going to survive any longer here." Alice said.
"What makes you think that?" Wurgent asked Alice.
"Well, Gwilherm has PTSD over his bagpipe set, Tavish is drinking our supplies down to a tin, Sean is were-puppy chow and Bradwr.... Where is Bradwr?"

"CYMRU AM BYTH!" Bradwr emerged from the bush, Naked and covered in honey with a giant broken eggshell being used to cover his private parts. "Sorry, lads! I Just had the time of me life. There was this flock of sheep, so I got naked and covered meself in honey so the sheep would lick meh, then a farmer with a weird lookin' stick popped up and there was this dragon who spat fire at me and accidentally boiled some funny liquid and I got drunk as hell of it so I went to her nest and I accidentally landed in one of her eggs and killed a baby and NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA DI-aahh..ah...oh yeah..." Bradwr began moaning.

"Oooh, I think a lamb found its way into me celery sti- wait a moment... THAT THING IS STILL ALIVE!?" Bradwr began screaming in horror, seeing the unborn dragon and dropping it, leaving it as a pile of pink goo.

"Oh my god, I think I'm going to be sick..." Wurgent said, with Alice projectile vomiting everywhere.
"I've seen worse from Brad" Tavish remarks whilst drinking.

OOC:Just want to point it out but Dragons in the Elder scrolls universe do not lay eggs or even really have gender for that matter.

[United Celtic Peoples]

"God damn it, this is the fifth time this week and it's Friday. I better be getting paid overtime for this." Caroline said as she pulled out a crossbow as she covered the arrows with something. As she teleported over to a bush near the dragon, she shot a bolt into it. After a while, she teleported back. "Should be knocked out."

"KNOCKED OUT!?" Bradwr screamed. "THAT THING DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FULLY FORMED HEAD! IT'S A SEA JELLY!" The group suddenly slowly turned as they heard a loud thud.

"Oh..." Bradwr began, "You mean THAT dragon."

"Please, PLEASE, put some clothes on, this is the eigth time this damn month, Bradwr..." Alice requested.

OOC:Just want to point it out but Dragons in the Elder scrolls universe do not lay eggs or even really have gender for that matter.

OOC: Wait, how are they created then?

[Higher Japan]

"I'll explain now. The council of wardens has decided that there have been too many accidents and as such, we have been appointed to follow these meetings to clean your shit up. Yes we get paid for this, now i have to write a report." Caroline said as she wrote something with a feather, before tying it up and throwing it down a small door.

[Graag Brom]

"God damn it, this is the fifth time this week and it's Friday. I better be getting paid overtime for this." Caroline said as she pulled out a crossbow as she covered the arrows with something. As she teleported over to a bush near the dragon, she shot a bolt into it. After a while, she teleported back. "Should be knocked out."

"KNOCKED OUT!?" Bradwr screamed. "THAT THING DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A FULLY FORMED HEAD! IT'S A SEA JELLY!" The group suddenly slowly turned as they heard a loud thud.

"Oh..." Bradwr began, "You mean THAT dragon."

"Please, PLEASE, put some clothes on, this is the eigth time this damn month, Bradwr..." Alice requested.

OOC:Just want to point it out but Dragons in the Elder scrolls universe do not lay eggs or even really have gender for that matter.

OOC: Wait, how are they created then?

OOC:Dragons are immortal beings created by Akatosh, the Dragon god of time.

[United Celtic Peoples]

"I'll explain now. The council of wardens has decided that there have been too many accidents and as such, we have been appointed to follow these meetings to clean your shit up. Yes we get paid for this, now i have to write a report." Caroline said as she wrote something with a feather, before tying it up and throwing it down a small door.

"So, all you're really doing is trying to moderate what happens here and make sure nothing goes out of hand? I guess we must have misunderstood you. I deeply apologize on behalf of my colleagues." Wurgent said.

"Alrighty, er... witch lady... I think there's another crazy maniac ya need to take care of..." Alice said pointing to Bradwr, who was now stark naked, covered in honey and trying to buy livestock off of a saleswoman who was preoccupied staring at his member, and this obviously got him quite peeved off until he finally bought 3 sheep and a chicken.

[Higher Japan]

"Sort of, we also are allowed to cause chaos as long as we clean our act up." She said as she lifted the crossbow up, before firing a bolt straight into his anus.

[Graag Brom]

"I'll explain now. The council of wardens has decided that there have been too many accidents and as such, we have been appointed to follow these meetings to clean your shit up. Yes we get paid for this, now i have to write a report." Caroline said as she wrote something with a feather, before tying it up and throwing it down a small door.

"So, all you're really doing is trying to moderate what happens here and make sure nothing goes out of hand? I guess we must have misunderstood you. I deeply apologize on behalf of my colleagues." Wurgent said.

"Alrighty, er... witch lady... I think there's another crazy maniac ya need to take care of..." Alice said pointing to Bradwr, who was now stark naked, covered in honey and trying to buy livestock off of a saleswoman who was preoccupied staring at his member, and this obviously got him quite peeved off until he finally bought 3 sheep and a chicken.

Some guards come along and drag Bradwr off to the cells for public indecency.

[The Palmetto]

The entire room goes dead silent for a moment as they look on at Tavish's unconcious body.
"So, who won?" Carlos asks.
"Well, how about we flip a coin? Heads is Kanadorika, tails is Higher Japan." Sean insists.
"...It's best we get out of here, so sure." Pepe insists.

Herja just materialized money out of nothing and handed it to both of them. "If this cuts back on the amount of noise you make, take it."

"I don't think that really worked, dear."

[Higher Japan]

"Now that that's done, Yao Guai heads for sale! Get the head of these exotic beast at a 1 for 1 offer for today only!" She called out as she lifted the head of one up.

[United Celtic Peoples]

"Sort of, we also are allowed to cause chaos as long as we clean our act up." She said as she lifted the crossbow up, before firing a bolt straight into his anus.

"Ah rydych in Fam ffycin Ceiliog sugnwr asshole! Mae'r duw Flwyddyn Ariannol, Yr do I in marw and in fy ceilliau sarnu Hydref damn your bachgen wedi y diafol neu Islamaidd gomiwnyddol Bland!" Bradwr said as he looked at his crotch in agony and ran around screaming and destroying things like a bull in a china shop before stopping and staring at himself in agony again, bleeding profusevly from his urethra
"ME ARSE! WHERE WILL I HIDE SEAN'S WHISKEY NOW? AUUUGGGH THE AGONY!" He said before slumping against a wall and getting more tired, but still swearing and cuddlign a sheep. "Don't worry, me love.... when I die... I still will never leave ya..." Bradwr kissed the sheep as it simply bleated.

"Nice shot, witchy. Yer not as bad as I thought." Tavish said, tossing a large bottle to Caroline.

[Higher Japan]

"He'll be fine, probably." She said as she gave him mercy and walked over to knock him out with a swift kick. As she walked back she pulled the bolt out before going back to selling her products.

[United Celtic Peoples]

Alice wandered over towards a pet-selling stand, looking at a cute puppy.
"Awww... this one looks dandy fine! How much is it?"

[Graag Brom]

Alice wandered over towards a pet-selling stand, looking at a cute puppy.
"Awww... this one looks dandy fine! How much is it?"

"500 septims and they are yours."

[United Celtic Peoples]

Alice wandered over towards a pet-selling stand, looking at a cute puppy.
"Awww... this one looks dandy fine! How much is it?"

"500 septims and they are yours."

"Ayy, I only brought 350 Celtic rings with me, plus the ones I transferred from the big bet..." Alice says with a negative tone.
"Actually, quick question... Does this thing have enough jaw power to castrate a human being in one bite?" Alice says in an innocent, happy tone.

[Graag Brom]

"500 septims and they are yours."

"Ayy, I only brought 350 Celtic rings with me, plus the ones I transferred from the big bet..." Alice says with a negative tone.
"Actually, quick question... Does this thing have enough jaw power to castrate a human being in one bite?" Alice says in an innocent, happy tone.

"They are of a breed of Nord war-dog so probably."

[United Celtic Peoples]

"Alrighty! So, I guess 4000 Celtic rings 'tis then! Oh, and can it track smells? I'm getting messages of Spanish holdouts and Galician nationalist hideouts all over Galicia and in Santiago, so I'm just wondering if this cute fella could help out." Alice said while petting the creature.

[Graag Brom]

"Alrighty! So, I guess 4000 Celtic rings 'tis then! Oh, and can it track smells? I'm getting messages of Spanish holdouts and Galician nationalist hideouts all over Galicia and in Santiago, so I'm just wondering if this cute fella could help out." Alice said while petting the creature.

"Yep, the Nords breed these one's primarily for hunting and battle. You would normally find a dog like this in a barracks or in a Jarl's court."